Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[STAMMERS] Here you go, Peter.

[STUTTERS] Penelope.

Nice catch, Persimmon.

-[STUTTERING] -[SHOUTS] Hey!

-Yes, boss. -I want to give you fair warning.

The owner of the aquarium is stopping by later today,

and I need everything to be perfect.

You got it, boss. I'm on the job.

That's what I'm worried about.

[GULPS] Mmm... Fresh.

[STUTTERS] Uh, come on down, Petunia.

Nice work there, Princess.

[STUTTERS] Preston.

Here you go, [STUTTERS] Paprika.

Hey, garcon,could you put that next one on a spring roll with wasabi?

Hey! This isn't a sushi restaurant, this is an aquarium.

And you're not a penguin. [STUTTERS] You're a duck!

Of course, I'm a [MIMICS STUTTERING] penguin.

I can waddle around. I'm black.

I have webbed feet. I have an orange bill.

I quack. And I can fly.

Half of those are penguin things,

and the other half are duck things.

Which half lets me stay here?

For one thing penguins can't fly.

[STUTTERS] Just get out of here!

[SCOFFS AND STAMMERS] Crazy duck.

-[GASPS] Huh? -You, uh, didn't answer my question.

Hey! You ate all the fish.

The worst part is I'm still hungry.

[STUTTERS] Mr. Duck, you don't understand.

If everything isn't perfect I'm gonna get fired.

Tell you what, chum, I'll make you a deal.

You give me all the fish I can eat,

and I'll make sure this aquarium is perfect!

[STAMMERING] It's a...

Okay! Let's see what we have to work with here.

-What do these fish do? -[STAMMERS] Not much. They just float around.

They just float around? That's not perfect, that's boring!

We got to get them moving around.

Well, we're gonna feed 'em in an hour.

An hour? That's too long.

-We got to go feed 'em right now! -[SCREAMS]

[IN FRENCH ACCENT] Gather around. Gather around.

It is I, Duck Cousteau!

This is the ocean.

The life blood of all the fish that live here,

deep, uncharteddangereux.

Here is the Grouper,

the fascinating Clownfish,

and, of course, the Hogfish!

[BLUBBERING AND STAMMERING] Get me out of here!

The Hogfish seems to be disturbed!

It is because the Hammerhead shark is stalking him for his prey.

[SCREAMS AND BLUBBERS]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMS]

[YELPS]

-[SPLUTTERS AND EXCLAIMS] -[CHILDREN CRYING]

[IN SCOTTISH ACCENT] Do not worry, kids. I'll save ya.

-Keep back, you dangerous sea creature. -[GROANS]

[STUTTERS] I'm not a sea creature.

-I'm a... [STAMMERING] -[WHISPERING] I know, but look at them.

They're eating this up!

Don't you want the aquarium to be perfect?

[IN SCOTTISH ACCENT] Back from whence you came!

[WHISPERS] You're doing great.

-You salty pork of the swiney deep! -[SCREAMING]

[APPLAUDING]

[STUTTERS] Stop that right now.

Hold your seahorses. What's this?

It's a touch tank. It's where people come to touch the sea creatures.

Well, that doesn't seem fair.

Maybe it's time for the sea creatures to touch back!

[GRUNTS]

-[LAUGHING] -[LAUGHING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

[PANTING] Keep away from me!

DAFFY: Not so fast!

♪ Stomp your feet up and down, make a smile from that frown

♪ Grab a fish and sing along, slap, slap, slap, slap

♪ 'Cause it feels mighty fine when you're slap it on a swine

♪ Grab a fish and sing along, slap, slap, slap, slap ♪

[GRUNTS AND STUTTERS] You're not making this place better,

you're ruining it!

[IN SING-SONG] But I'm not finished yet!

Oh, yeah. You're finished all right.

If you're not going to leave then I'll throw you out!

-[GRUNTS] -Whoo-hoo. Whoo-hoo!

[STUTTERS] Get back here!

[EXCLAIMS]

[SHOUTS] Ow!

[EXCLAIMING] Ow!

[TEETH CHATTERING]

A gift shop?

The perfect aquarium gives out souvenirs for free!

You get a shirt and you get a shirt, and you get a shirt!

[STAMMERS] Stop giving everything away!

You get a shirt too!

Huh. I thought this was one size fits all.

Whoo-hoo. Whoo-hoo. Whoo-hoo!

I'm having a whale of a time! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

[SIGHS] Maybe it's time to start getting the ranch dressing on the side.

And to start ordering salads.

[FREE FALLING]

Porky! What in the Sam Hill is going on out here?

[GASPS] Mrs. Allen?

You're not supposed to be here till 3:00.

[STUTTERS] Mrs. Allen?

Who's Mrs. Allen?

She's the owner of the aquarium, you numbcrut!

Who is responsible for this duck being in the aquarium?

It wasn't me, Mrs. Allen. It was Porky!

I told him everything had to be perfect, but...

It was perfect!

The action, the adventure!

The free merchandise giveaways!

You see this is the integrated marketing, I'm talking about.

We can cross-pollinate this across multiple media platforms.

I see billboards, posters, a duck in the aquarium.

Ah! Maybe even a reality show!

Porky and the Duck!

We'll film them 24/7, watching the pig cater to the duck's every need.

Uh... [STUTTERS] 24/7?

His every need?

Oh, I'm not a pig. I'm a penguin!

See! [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] Look at me! I'm a penguin!

I'm a penguin!

Porky! You've lost your mind!

[SHOUTING] I'm a penguin!

Well, that's just silly.

Penguins can't fly.

Finally, after a long winter the perfect day to fly a kite!

Last summer I perfected all the expert kite moves.

But this summer I'm going to master the most dangerous,

most death-defying stunt of them all,

the Breezehammer!

-[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] -[LIGHTNING CRACKLING]

Huh?

You mean you never heard of the most legendary move in all of kite flying?

Only a select few have ever seen and lived to tell the tale of the Breezehammer!

-[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] -[LIGHTNING CRACKLING]

Ooh!

[SQUEAKS] Breezehammer!

[WHINES]

BUGS: Let's warm up with a few basic moves.

Watch this, Squeaks. Four eyes!

The Stairs!

The Escalator!

[YAWNING] Caw!

[GASPS] Hello, beautiful!

That's the most gorgeous creature I've ever seen!

I must be dreaming! [GRUNTS]

Nope. Not dreaming.

[CAWING]

So, uh, you got the time?

'Cause you got me going cuckoo!

Oh! Aggressive! I like that.

Oh, baby! I'm in love.

-What the... -[BOYD PURRING]

[CAWING]

That canoodling canary's getting cozy with my kite!

Playing hard to get, huh?

[EXCLAIMING] Whoa!

[GROANING] Ow!

Oh no, Squeaks! It's stuck!

Can you go see what's going on?

[SQUEAKS] Hey!

Can I offer you something, my lady?

A snack? Some worms? A delousing?

[CHIRPING]

I'm trying, Squeaks. I'm pulling as hard as I can!

-[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING] -Is that a no?

You don't want anything?

Oh, you do. Wait, yes or no?

You're giving me mixed signals here!

I'm so confused!

Wait! I know!

How about a relaxing massage? Ow!

Boy, you really are playing hard to get.

-[GRUNTS] -Jeepers!

Uh-oh!

That bird is not gonna stop me from executing the Breezehammer!

-[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] -[LIGHTNING CRACKLING]

♪ Oh, you're my beautiful bird!

♪ My beautiful blue bird!

♪ My beautiful big, bald, blue-y, blueish, blue bird!

-♪ Oh, blue, blue... -Oh no, you don't!

♪ Blue, blue, blue, blue bird, bird, bird, bird

♪ Gimme a B, gimme a... [GRUNTS]

[CAWS] You come at me, bro?

You want a piece of me?

Stay behind me, babe, I'll protect ya.

[CAWING] Is that all you got?

[CAWS]

Flying back to your momma, huh?

[GROWLS]

Sorry, you had to see that, babe.

Just doing what any bird would do for his lady.

Sometimes I get so mad I just gotta hit something.

[CAWING]

Babe? Babe?

Hey! Where'd you go?

All right, that's it! I'm not taking any more chances.

Squeaks, I'm sending you up to run interference.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no! [GAGS]

Nothing's gonna keep me from the Breezehammer!

-[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] -[LIGHTNING CRACKLING]

Not now! I'm in the middle of something!

Off you go.

[EXCLAIMING] Whoa!

So what can I tell you about myself?

Oh, let's see! I moved out of my parents' nest two weeks ago and, uh...

[SCREAMING]

I'm in between jobs right now, but I'm hunting in a...

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

You know, the early bird gets the worm,

but the late bird gets the trash can pizza!

-[GROANS] -Hey, what's your problem?

Can't you see I'm trying to woo the lady here?

-[BOTH GRUNTING] -Quit squirreling in on my business!

-Oh, boy. [GRUNTS] -[EXCLAIMS]

Squeaks, that birdbrain's got us all tied up!

Hey! Let go of my kite!

Hey! Some bunny's trying to capture you!

Don't worry, my little birdy doll. I'll save you!

Time to show you the power of love!

[CAWS]

-Whoa! [GROANING] Ow! -[MUSIC PLAYING]

-[GRUNTING] -[EXCLAIMING]

WOMAN: Hey, look! A rabbit! Pet him as hard as you can!

[CONTINUES GRUNTING]

[EXCLAIMS]

[GROANS]

-[GRUNTS] -[SITAR MUSIC PLAYING]

[WHISPERS] The Breezehammer!

Did you see that, Squeaks?

I did it. I executed the most difficult maneuver in all of kite flying!

Ah... [CHIRPING]

Well, I guess that crazy bird helped a little bit too.

But I did most of it.

Hey! You let my love go.

Untie her this instant!

Okay, pal. You can have her.

[GASPS AND CAWS]

Oh, my darling! You're free!

Free! [KISSES]

And now we're free to love each other forever!

Uh, you know, doc?

That's not a bird you're kissing. It's a kite.

Nobody's perfect. [CONTINUES KISSING]