Original subtitles

[stuttering] Someone threw this plant away?

That's a perfectly good plant.

Where am I gonna put it?

Maybe there's more space on the other side of the room.

Under the arm of Rutherford B. Hayes, Mr. President.

Move around my precious dolphin figurine collection.

And place our new friend right here.

-Oh, my dolphins! [screams] -[bones crunching]

My back!

I have so much stuff in here

I can't even turn around without stubbing a hoof.

Oh, I better sit down.

Maybe doctor television can numb my pain.

-Hey there, pal. Has the world got you down? -Yes.

-Do you feel like your life is too cluttered? -Yes.

Are you wracked with pain?

Yeah. I just pulled my back.

Then, my friend, you need a hot tub!

[cheering]

Daffy's Hot Tub Emporium has a top-of-the-line hot tub with your name on it.

A hot tub? That'd fix all this pain and clutter.

[Daffy] Imagine sitting in 450 gallons of hydrated relaxation,

whilst water jets massage away all your aches and pains.

That sounds like a dream.

Then make it a reality.

Call 555-Daffys-Hot-Tubs and start relaxing today.

Hello? One hot tub please.

[door bell ringing]

[stuttering] Well, that was a quick... You got here fast.

Of course I did, chum. I'm a one-man operation.

So, where do you want it?

That's the kitchen.

[exclaims]

That's my big box of boxes.

[exclaims]

And that's my wood-carved statue

of former President, Rutherford B. Hayes.

Mr. President.

Well, despite a clutter crib,

I think we can make this work.

In fact, I think you should put the hot tub right here.

Do you think it'll fit?

Hey, I can fit an elephant into a shoe box.

[elephant trumpeting]

Now, before I install anything

there's a little matter of some paperwork.

If you can just hold this for me, Rutherford.

Just your standard contract. Sign here.

Congratulations, you're the proud owner of your very own mustang.

[neighing]

I thought I was signing papers for a hot tub?

Oops, wrong contract.

I also sell mustangs.

You gotta have multiple income streams.

Sorry, Liberace.

-I think you'd best wait in the car. -[horse snorts]

Here's the hot tub contract.

Sign here and here.

Sign by the "X," here.

But I don't see an "X."

Well then put an "X" there.

And sign by that "X."

Make a rhombus here, initial it.

Here, here, here.

Here, here, here, here. Here, here, and here.

And don't forget to write your tip.

The tip?

You haven't even done anything yet.

Well, I'll give you a tip, then.

Nobody wears braided belts anymore.

Get off of me. Can I just have my hot tub?

Of course. Right away.

Hmm.

Looks like I forgot a part.

I'll just call the home office.

Home office? Daffy Duck here.

I'm gonna need you to run me out a knobby flange.

Come on, there's nobody on the other end of that phone.

Of course there is.

Sorry, this joker thinks I'm talking to no one.

Who would talk to an empty phone?

Oh, I don't know, certainly not me.

So, do you need a five-inch or a three-inch knobby flange?

-What's the difference? -Oh, about two inches.

All right, wise guy. Just tell me which one goes into a Pig Pot 3000.

Oh, you're gonna need a five-inch.

Let me go check in the back.

[sighs] You just can't get good help these days.

Found one. Last one in stock.

Great. When can you get it to me?

Two to three business days.

Perfect. I'll just wait here until then.

Two or three days? Listen, you drain stuck, you've gotta leave.

Well, what do you know?

A five-inch knobby flange.

I had it the whole time.

I don't want a hot tub anymore.

Sorry, buckaroo, check the contract.

No refunds or exchanges.

It's right there by the rhombus.

Now, let's get back to work and clear a little space.

-[cheering] -[screams]

[exclaiming]

You're destroying my house!

You'll thank me later. Now, hold this.

[exclaiming]

Okay, pal, you can let that go now.

-[objects crashing] -My four-poster bed.

My stained glass lamp collection.

My R&B 8-tracks, my antique mustard jars.

-[crashing continues] -My glass fondue pot! [grunts]

-[exclaims] So much destruction. -[groaning]

Better put my tape measure away before it gets damaged.

Look at my house! Everything's ruined except Rutherford B. Hayes

and my glass dolphin collection.

I can take care of that for you.

Whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo!

My... My dolphin figurines!

[groans]

Mr. President.

My house... My belongings...

Everything's gone.

[cackling]

Oh, I thought I needed all this stuff.

All I needed was this mud.

This glorious... This spectacular mud.

Freedom!

-[Porky cackling] -That's Daffy's Hot Tub Emporium, folks.

Just call 555-Daffys-Hot-Tubs, and start relaxing today.

You'll be happier than a pig in the mud.

[Porky laughing]

Hello? One hot tub, please. [chuckles]

[sighs] Squeaks,

I gotta hand it to you.

Your pizza business is really taking off.

But I do think you should hire a delivery guy.

-[muscles stretching] -[groans] Cause I'm exhausted.

[squeaking]

Yeah, just sit there.

I'll do all the work like I have been all day.

Pizza delivery for Mrs. Cougar.

"Mrs."? [chuckling] It's just "Miss."

And aren't you a cute, little tender rabbit.

Wait, what?

Oh my, your big strong arms must be exhausted and juicy

from carrying those boxes.

[purrs]

Actually, I am pretty tired. We've been working all day and...

Come inside and let me pamper you.

Pamper me...

Now that I can't resist.

[squeaks] Hey, what are you doing there?

[squeaking angrily]

When was the last time you let someone take care of you?

Seems to me that you're always taking care of others.

Please, come inside.

And I'll take care of you, all right.

Huh?

Let's get some food in that belly.

-Carrot dip? -Wow! No one has ever been so attentive to my needs.

No need to be polite. Dig in.

Chew, chew, chew. Swallow, swallow, swallow.

Nobody likes a chunky stuffing.

[gulps] What?

You're all skin and bone. We need to fatten you up.

Let me make you a sandwich.

Yeah. Pulling those pizzas, you sure work up an appetite.

It's my pleasure.

Because I have an appetite for taking care of you.

Here's your sandwich.

-[tuts] -[chomping]

[growling] I think you need to relax, too.

Care to have a seat in the hot tub?

I should probably get back to Squeaks.

It'll really loosen up those muscles.

A hot tub sure does sound relaxing.

-[bubbling] -[groaning and gasping]

-[hissing] -Ow!

Ah...

Gee, this is one strange hot tub.

Well, it's Swedish.

Boy, this feels real nice.

That's it. Just lie in the tub

until you're tender enough to eat.

-Excuse me? -Uh...

Having you here is such a treat.

[laughing] Here, let me chop up some carrots for you.

So, if you get hungry, you can just pick up a floating snack.

Thanks.

Now, just relax and simmer for 15 minutes.

And I'll check on you shortly.

[Squeaks knocking and shouting]

[squeaking]

-[mimics chewing] -What? Trying to eat me?

[squeaking]

You're right, this isn't a hot tub.

It's a pot! [screams]

Oh, man, she was clearly trying to eat me.

Gee, it was so obvious.

I mean she fed me delicious food.

And fixed up that nice hot tub for me.

It sure was nice to be pampered like that.

-[sighs] -[screams]

[squeaking]

[chittering]

[steam hissing]

Squeaks, you're letting all the steam out.

[squeaking]

[chittering]

Aw, sheesh, you're right, Squeaks.

I wasn't thinking. Let's get out of here.

It's like I knew she was trying to eat me,

but I couldn't resist being pampered.

Chalk it up to a lack in judgment and a love of hot tubs.

And saunas and sandwiches.

And floating snacks.

[squeaking]

Boy, it sure is nice to be pampered like that.

[exclaims, sighs]

[exclaiming]

Where is he?

There you are.

[clears throat]

Would you care for some more pampering?

Yes, please...

Why don't you hop right up on here

and let me give you a massage.

Oh, that'd be fantastic.

Ooh. That feels great.

What kind of massage is this?

Oh, it's a dry rub.

And this is one of those seaweed wraps.

Oh, yeah, I hear they're great for your skin.

Oh, yes, it's mouth-watering.

Wait, did you say "mouth-watering"?

-Did I? -Yipes!

Not so fast.

[grunts]

-[roaring] -[yelps] Mrs. Cougar,

I think you're trying to digest me.

It's "Miss" and I am.

[cheers triumphantly]

-[clangs] -[grunts]

[growls]

[slurps and sniffs]

[chomping]

Oh, man. She is not a pretty eater.

I had no idea your pizza was this delicious.

More, more, more, more. [panting]

Well, Squeaks, let's get to making pizza.

There's one slice left.

-Oh... I... I shouldn't. -Come on.

Pamper yourself.

-[chomps] -[Bugs] Just the pizza.

Sorry.

What can I say?

It's hard to teach an old cougar new tricks.