Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Top of the mornin'... [GRUNTS]

Oh, no. Me lucky horseshoe.

That's not a good sign.

[GASPS] Me four-leaf clover patch!

-[SNARLING] -Yikes!

-A black cat! -[YOWLS]

-[GRUNTING] -[YOWLS]

[PANTING]

Shameless O'Scanty is out of luck.

How could this day get any worse?

[GRUNTS]

St. Louis of the Chapped Lips!

Me cousin Mary is comin' to town.

I gotta find me some luck, or my cousin will never let me live it down.

♪ Magpies and shamrocks

♪ Toobley-doo-re-lu-re-lu

♪ Sweaters, tin whistles

Quiet down, you nonsensical noise-maker!

Can't you see I'm trying to think here?

♪ Sheep almost everywhere

[GRUNTS]

♪ That's Ireland

Hey, there, little shaver.

[GROANING]

My clover field. It's sprouting!

-[SNARLING] -Run for your life!

-That cat's a killer! -[YOWLS]

[PURRING]

[CHOKING]

[GASPS] A $100 bill.

-Here. You look like you need this more than I do. -[GRUNTS]

Don't spend it all in one face!

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

[GULPING]

St. Phoebe of the Stinky Feet!

The legend of the lucky duck is true.

Once a generation, a rare duck comes along

that is brimming with enough luck

to fuel a family of leprechauns.

All right, Shameless.

You need to capture that lucky duck,

chain him up inside a tiny box, inside an even tinier house

so he can be me lucky charm forever!

[HUMMING]

Hmm?

Hey! Are you sneaking up on me?

No, I'm head of this here forest's welcoming committee,

and we're throwing you a party inside this apartment.

Party for me? All right!

You bring the people. I'll bring the fun. Whoo-hoo!

[CHUCKLES] That was easy.

-[MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING] -[MUFFLED CHATTER]

-Great party, pal. -[MUSIC PLAYING]

You mind sprucin' up my juice with a couple of ice cubes?

Not a problem.

Wait a minute. I want to go to a party!

-[GROANS] -[KNOCKING]

Might there be room for one more in there?

Sure! The more the merrier.

[MUSIC STOPS]

St. Edward of the Earwax! I've been tricked!

-Let me out! -DAFFY: Oh, no.

You won't be seein' the outside of this cell any time soon.

You were sentenced to life in prison.

Life in prison?

But I'm innocent. Innocent, I tell ya. [STRAINING]

That's what they all say.

Only a call from the governor can save you now.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello? Yes, governor.

Release him? Give him his freedom?

Uh-huh. Okay.

Wrong number.

Just kidding!

You've been pardoned.

-You're free to go. -[JIG PLAYING]

Freedom!

Oh, cabbage.

[SPLASHING]

[COUGHING]

Bottom of the evenin' to ya.

-Wait right there. -[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, St. John's wort.

-Where did he go? -DAFFY: Yoo-hoo!

I'm down here.

No! I wanted you to wait right here!

-Where are you now? -DAFFY: I'm up here.

Well, what are you doin' up there?

Because you told me to wait right here.

Oh, that's not what I meant.

Look, they're both the same thing, here and there.

So, when you hear, "Here," I might mean there.

And when I hear, "There," I hear, "Here."

Because here is there and there is here. Understood?

Hear, hear.

Excellent. Then stay right there.

[PANTING]

Oh, Faith and Begorrah!

What are you doin' down there?

I've gotta be honest,

I didn't understand a thing you said.

Okay, now listen. Don't move a muscle.

I will come down there.

[SCREAMING]

-[SCREAMING] -[PLANE ENGINE WHIRRING]

[SCREAMING]

St. Paul's bunions! Huh?

-[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] -Let's get our routine together, guys.

Do the Superman.

That's the stuff. The soaring eagle!

DAFFY: Now, do the rotisserie chicken.

The twisted phone cord.

Bigfoot in a diaper!

Hey, where did everybody go?

Oh, they pulled their parachutes ages ago.

We're about to hit the ground.

[GASPS] Quick, laddie. Open your chute!

No need, my friend. I have wings.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Oh, malarkey. [SCREAMING]

[GRUNTING]

Yike!

-[GRUNTING] -[BEES BUZZING]

Don't worry, pal. I'll catch ya!

[GROANING]

Get these feathers off me or I'll...

Why you little... [MUMBLING] [QUACKING]

Excuse me, I'm Mary O'Scanty.

I'm lookin' for me cousin Shameless.

[GASPS] What is that?

[QUACKING CONTINUES]

It's a duck.

And I hear it's lucky.

The Legend of the Lucky Duck is true!

I'm going to chain him up inside a tiny box,

inside an even tinier house so he can be me lucky charm.

-[QUACKING] -Forever!

Looks like she's got the duck of the Irish.

DAFFY: Whoo-hoo!

[WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]

I say... I say, cock-a-doodle-doo, y'all.

Time to rise and shine, ladies.

It's roll call on another glorious day

at Foghorn's free-range chicken farm.

FOGHORN: Yes, sir. 200 acres of luxurious Kentucky bluegrass

that caters to your every whim.

He say, "Caters to your every whim"?

I'd like to have a few of my whims catered to.

Whoo-hoo!

-Mornin', Tina. -[CLUCKING]

-Louise. -[CLUCKING]

-Sally. -Whoo-hoo!

I mean, uh... [CLUCKING]

Now, hold up. You're not Sally.

Who are you? Some kind of freeloader?

Freeloader? I'm Daff...

...fodil. I'm a new recruit.

New recruit, huh?

I wasn't told anything about a new recruit.

Oh, this isn't the first time this has happened.

Well, let me just, uh, check my rooster roster here.

Ah, there you are. Daffodil.

Um, there are two F's in Daffodil.

Right, right.

Uh, well, make yourself at home, Daffodil.

I will.

Because I belong here.

Sheesh.

Sometimes, the healthier these organic chickens are,

the weirder they look.

Hello, my peeps.

How's y'all cluckin'?

All right, ladies. It's feedin' time.

Come and get it.

Huh? You're just gonna eat off the ground like that?

Eww.

What's the matter, Daffodil? Ain't you hungry?

Can't I get a plate or a napkin?

Daffodil, chickens eat off the ground.

But what about all that dirt?

I know! Look at all them extra minerals.

Delicious!

Yeah, I don't see you eating it.

This isn't about me, Daffodil. This is about you.

And you're a chicken, ain't ya?

Of course I'm a chicken.

Here I go.

Just a-huntin' and a-peckin'.

A-huntin' and a-peckin', I say. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I really taste the dirt.

Huh?

[SCREAMING]

-[CLUCKING] -[GROANING]

-Are you full? -I didn't get any.

-You don't like seeds, gal? Seeds, gal. -[CARNIVALESQUE MUSIC PLAYING]

You're not a sea gal. You're a chicken.

That's a joke, girl. Why ain't you laughin'?

[CHUCKLING] Oh, I'm sorry, Daffodil.

You probably hungry.

I got somethin' for you. There.

That'll keep your strength up.

Go on, now. Chew and swallow it up.

I say, don't tell the other gals I gave ya special treatment.

All right. Time to put your eggs in one basket.

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Good job, Gertrude.

Nice work, Tina.

Hey, I say... I say, hey. I done come up empty-handed.

Where are your eggs, Daffodil?

-I'm still working on it. -That's all right. I'll wait.

Uh, I'm having trouble performing

when other people are watching.

Just pretend I'm not here.

That's the great thing about livin' in the country. Peace and quiet.

I can't stand the city. So loud and noisy,

and everybody's walkin' and talkin'

and jibber-jabberin' in your ear.

But you're jibber jabbering in my ear.

You're overthinkin' it.

Just close your eyes and imagine you're on a beach.

-The sun is shining. -[HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING]

The gentle sea air is blowin' your feathers.

[BLOWS]

Bleh! The sea air needs a breath mint.

How 'bout I sing ya a song?

-[HAPPY BIRTHDAYPLAYING] -♪ You look lovely, it's true

♪ Just relax, don't feel blue

♪ Feel your tension go meltin'

♪ You got layin' to do

Well, that... I say, that'll loosen up your egg muscles. [CHUCKLING]

-Not really. -Oh, well.

Then I'll just sit back and, uh, let you do your thing.

-[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING] -But I'm not leavin' till I get that egg.

[STRAINING]

I can't! I...

I'm unable to produce.

Oh, Daffodil.

It takes a lot to admit your shortcomings.

Also, I'm a duck.

A duck!

Oh, there's no ducks on this chicken farm.

-You, I say, you confessed deceiver. -Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Want eggs?

-Have some, ya dope. -[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Phew. Almost lost my commodities.

Whoa!

That's the one time you could have used a duck on the chicken farm.

[IMITATING FOGHORN] That's a joke, son. Whoo-hoo!

Actually, it's more of a play on words.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

-Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! -Get back here, duck. [GRUNTS]

-Whoa... -I'm havin' a wheel good time.

-[GRUNTING] -Whoo-hoo!

Wash, rinse, spin cycle.

Now I know what the laundry feels like.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whee!

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS]

Easy there, big fella.

It's all fun and games until the funny little duck gets his head kicked in.

[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]

You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses.

Yow!

Ooh! Whoa... [SCREAMING]

Ooh! [SCREAMING]

-[WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING] -Cock-a-doodle-whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo! [GRUNTS]

Free-ranged or not, this is one bird that needs to be caged.

Yeesh.