Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

-[STUTTERING] The forceps. -[BEEPING]

Scalpel.

[STUTTERING] The sponge.

Uh-oh. Oh, boy.

[STUTTERING] This sandwich is gonna be delicious.

ELLIOT: Pig!

I thought I told you to stop usin' surgical tools to make your lunch.

You're an orderly.

[DAFFY IMITATING AMBULANCE SIREN]

Go unload the patients from that ambulance outside.

Actually, it's not an ambulance.

It's that crazy duck.

He's been hangin' around this hospital

and mimicking a bunch of different sounds.

That's a duck?

Yeah, he's a real pain in the... [STUTTERING]

A real nuisance.

Then your new job is to get that duck outta here.

Sure, boss. [STUTTERING] Right after I finish up my lunch.

Now!

[GRUNTING]

Try the door.

[CHUCKLING]

[IMITATING SIREN]

Hey, duck!

[STUTTERING] Stop that. It's bothering everyone.

Oh, my. That's a lot of people to bother. Pardon me.

Leave the parking lot.

Of course.

I'll get out of here right this instant.

Well, [STUTTERING] that takes care of that.

He won't bother anyone [STUTTERING] now that he's left the parking lot

and gone into the hospital.

[GASPING] Gone into the hospital!

[GRUNTS]

[STUTTERING] What the...

[STUTTERING] This is ridiculous.

Go ahead and try.

What? You opened up for that old [STUTTERING] biddy.

Oh, come on.

[GROANING]

You're not gonna close again, are you, doors?

DAFFY: No, of course not.

I just... [STUTTERING] I just need to get in.

No more closing, Porky. You can trust me.

Finally. Thanks.

[GROANING]

Oh, my goodness. You are smashed.

You need immediate medical attention.

[GRUNTING]

Just a few quick tests.

Now, this is gonna be a bit more invasive than you're used to.

-But I'm not a patient. -That's okay. I'm not a doctor.

First, let's check your blood pressure.

How is it?

Explosive.

-Now, let's test your reflexes. -[GROANS]

Oh, no. The patient's flatlining! Get the paddles!

That was fun. Get the defibrillator!

This won't hurt a bit. Clear!

[GRUNTING]

See? I didn't feel a thing.

Now, let's get you comfortable.

Sheesh! How's this thing work?

Gotta be a doctor to understand it.

[GROANS]

[PORKY SCREAMING]

[CRASHING]

Gotta go. Late for my tea time.

[SLURPING]

Ah.

Whoo-hoo!

[SCREAMS]

-Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! -[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

-[BABIES CRYING] -Whoo-hoo!

Hey...

-Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! -[PORKY SCREAMING]

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

Makes you think.

Certainly gives you perspective.

-[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] -DAFFY: I'm over it!

-[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] -Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

[GASPS] Oh, boy.

[STUTTERING] Now what do we do?

Well, I don't know about you, but I can fly.

-[SCREAMING] -[FRANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUNTS]

[GASPS] An open window. [STUTTERING]

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[STRAINING]

Open this window and open it now!

[MUFFLED] What? I can't understand you.

[STUTTERING] I need you to open this window now.

I'm sorry. All I hear is, "Blah, blah, blah."

I think it's this window between us.

Open this window now!

-I'm waiting. -I've got an idea.

If I open this window, then I'll be able to hear you.

[STUTTERING] That's what I was trying to tell you.

I know. I heard every word you said.

[PORKY SCREAMING]

Gotcha, chum.

[STUTTERING] Put me... Put me...

-Let go! -Suit yourself.

[CRASHING]

-[SIZZLING] -[GRUNTING]

Hot dogs!

Whoops. Looked like we burned your buns.

Let's cool 'em off.

[SCREAMING]

-[SIZZLING] -[SCREAMING]

Wow! You really struck while the iron was hot.

At least you don't waffle on the issues.

[GRUNTS]

[STUTTERING] [IMITATING SIREN]

Porky! Is that you making that noise?

[IMITATING SIREN CONTINUES]

Heavens to Betsy! This pig needs help.

We gotta get you to the hospital. Stat.

Whoo-hoo!

-Hang on, bub. -[TIRES SCREECHING]

[SCREAMS AND GRUNTS]

[AMBULANCE CRASHING]

-[MONITORS BEEPING] -[GROANING]

[GASPS]

[STUTTERING] Just one more cast and you'll be on the road to recovery.

One more? What kind of sick treatment is this?

[STUTTERING] It's the silent treatment.

[GRUNTING]

I knew I should have made that left turn at Albuquerque.

Because this is definitely not the beach.

-[SCREAMS] -Ow!

-[CROWD CHEERING] -ALL: Oh, Viktor, we love you.

Splendid competition.

-Ball boy, present the trophy. -[BELL RINGING]

Yes, I won Simbledon!

Now, it's time to give myself a congratulatory kiss.

-ALL: Oh... -[SMOOCHING]

Hey, bub. What's the big idea?

Hmph. Big idea? This is Simbledon,

the world's greatest tennis championship.

And you just ruined my moment!

Ahhh!

-Simbledon? -That's right. Simbledon.

And I am Viktor,

the greatest tennis player of all time.

-I lob, -[GRUNTS]

-I volley, -[GRUNTS]

and everyone looks at me.

Well, you haven't beaten me yet.

It's too late. I've already won the championship.

My trophy!

QUEEN: Well, I'd like to see more.

You can't win the trophy until you beat the rabbit.

What, what? A rabbit competing at Simbledon?

Quiet, Reginald!

I'm the Queen and you're the Prince.

But he's never even played tennis before.

I played a little badminton.

But he's not even wearing the regulation white uniform.

Ah. Not a problem.

Excuse me, may I borrow this? Thank you.

-[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING] -Oh, I like it.

It really shows off my legs. What the...

-[CROWD CHEERING] -Thank you, thank you.

You're welcome for my presence.

Hey, I wasn't ready.

I don't even have my racket yet.

Well, it counted.

Now, you're playing with the big boys.

-VIKTOR: Are you ready? -Now I am.

-[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] -This is going to be too easy.

[GRUNTS] Thank you.

I am jealous of you being able to watch...

[GROANS] Huh?

Thank you, thank you. It was nothing.

No one humiliates Viktor. Grunt!

Grunt!

Grunt!

Did I capture your likeness?

[GROANING]

[DINGS]

ALL: Oh, no. Viktor lost a set!

I won! Wow, that was easy.

No, you only won the first set.

First out of five.

And now it's my turn to serve.

-Oh, you're serving. Great. -[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Uh, let's see. I'll have eggs over easy

with a side of hash browns and wheat toast. And make it snappy.

-[WHEELS SQUEAKING] -Yes, sir.

Order up!

Can I get a little more coffee?

A little ketchup for the eggs?

More butter, more salt.

The new fork, an old fork. Some creamer.

A steak knife, a Swiss Army Knife.

Lobster bib, crab fork. Fresh ground pepper.

[PANTING] I'm tired of serving.

[PANTING] You serve me now.

Order up.

Lingonberries... [GRUNTS]

Gross. Oh, actually...

Tastes pretty good.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Grunt!

Halt! Ball boy, let's go.

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUNTING]

Another ball!

[GRUNTING]

Ahhh! Winter solstice! This is not a tennis ball.

Throw me a real ball.

[GRUNTS]

No, I mean a... [GRUNTS]

Tennis ball.

[DINGS]

BOTH: Oh, no! He's down two sets!

Way to go, Bugs!

All right, Mr. Bunny.

Time to end this little love fest.

Good luck returning these, rabbit.

-[LAUGHING EVILLY] -[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Huh? What?

[DINGS]

Match point?

BOTH: Go, Bugs!

I can't lose this,

or else the rabbit wins the whole kit and caboodle.

-Dig down deep, Viktor. -[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Tap into your inner rage.

Remember when Daddy ate all your birthday cake?

[SCREAMS] Grunt!

Uh-oh.

That ball looks like it's headed all the way to China.

-Is that legal? -I'll allow it.

-[WHISTLING] -[TIRES SCREECHING]

Follow that ball.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[THANKING IN MANDARIN]

-[CAR ENGINE REVVING] -[IN ENGLISH] Three... Two... One...

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

No!

[PANTING]

[GRUNTING]

[DINGS]

ALL: [CHANTING] Bugs wins! Bugs wins! Bugs...

ALL: We love Bugs!

-[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING] -No, my trophy!

A trophy? I thought it was a toilet.

No, it's a trophy. And it's mine.

Here, take it. Tennis is more of a hobby for me anyway.

Ow! My trophy!