Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS]

Come out, come out wherever you are.

Oh, where'd you go, honey?

You can run, but you can't hide. [LAUGHS]

Phew!

Now to slip away unnoticed.

[GRUNTS] Huh? [EXCLAIMS]

Say, what are you doing here on my property, rabbit?

There's no trespassing. Didn't you see the signs?

[BUZZING]

Gosh! I must have missed them.

Listen, Doc, can I stay for just a minute?

No, you can't stay. I live up here alone, understand?

Now, you got three seconds to get off of my property

before I blow you to smithereens.

One, two...

Hey, Doc, you're counting too fast.

You gotta put a "Mississippi" in there.

You know? One Mississippi, two Mississippi. Get it?

Oh, all right. One Mississippi, two Mississippi...

You know what? That's still too fast.

Try "Rutherford B. Hayes."

Fine! One Rutherford B...

Now that blew up in your face.

[GROANS]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[IN GERMAN ACCENT] You need a haircut, mein Herr.

Have a seat. What will it be, mein Freund?

I think I'd like to leave.

You may know what you want but I know what you need.

First, the shampoo.

Oh, don't get yourself into a lather schnitzel.

[WHIRRING]

Now for the blow-dry.

Now for the product.

The texture cream, the holding cream.

The I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.

-What do you think? -[GROANS]

[GROWLS] I hates it.

-[EXCLAIMS] -[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

[NORMAL VOICE] Hey, there. Welcome to Toss Fit.

The more you toss, the more fit you'll be.

-Now toss this rock down the hill. -[GRUNTING]

-Good. Now sprint to the bottom. -[BREATHING HARD]

Now push it back up to the top. That's it.

Now toss it back down again.

-[GRUNTS] -Sprint after it. Stay in rhythm.

Push, toss, sprint!

Push, toss, sprint!

Don't slow down now.

Go! Go! Go!

I'm feeling a little sick.

The sicker you feel, the fitter you'll be.

That doesn't make any sense.

-You getting out of shape doesn't make any sense. -[GROANS]

Now toss this car.

[GRUNTING]

-Now toss this whale. -[GRUNTS]

Now toss this other whale.

You got two whales?

-[GRUNTS] -Now toss this battleship.

[GRUNTING]

-Great set, Sam. Take five. -Phew!

Ooh, I'll tan your hide!

This stuff is stickier than molasses on a cat... [EXCLAIMS]

Oh, good. The wax is set.

Now we can get rid of all that nasty chest hair.

[YELLS IN PAIN]

Oh, your cuticles are not cute at all.

This man needs a manicure.

So get this. I saw Suzy at the supermarket in sweatpants.

-She has really given up. Don't you agree? -[GROANS]

Did I mention that Suzy only eats the strawberry out of the Neapolitan ice cream?

Let me finish the story.

I guess someone thinks they're too good for chocolate and vanilla.

But then I ran into Jess at checkout.

And she heard from Brigitte, who told Erica, who told Denise, who told Lexie,

who told Chelsea, who told Jamie-Ann,

who told Ashley that Nicole might be breaking up with Brian.

Of course, if Brian's on the market, I'm interested.

So, what do you think?

-[GROANS] -Oh, honey, you really need to moisturize.

First, you have to stretch it out.

Then we have to open up the pores by applying this mud mask.

Then we use a fish peel to exfoliate the dead skin.

♪ Mama's little baby loves mackerel, mackerel

♪ Mama's little baby loves mackerel face ♪

My, you're perfect!

Let me call Bruce.

Oh, Bruce!

OMG! What on earth are you wearing?

[GASPS] Just because something is comfortable doesn't mean you should wear it.

Let's get you into something better, stat.

[BABBLING]

-I don't even know what that is. -I kind of like it.

Um, no, you don't.

[BABBLING]

Hmm, too legit.

Too legit to quit.

[BABBLING]

It's fabulous. Oh, I love it!

[GIGGLES]

Hey! You're the rabbit!

Ooh!

Get back here!

Hold it!

Drop the oar.

Finally got ya right where I want ya.

I'm a gonna fill ya full of buckshot.

Hey, where you think you're going? Get back here!

Oh!

-[WOMAN SOBBING] -[SAM YELLING]

[GRUNTS AND GROANS]

A man!

Dearly beloved gathered here today.

Monumental ceremony. Ring is a symbol, ya-da-ya-da-ya-da.

-Do you take this man to be your husband? -I do!

-[WHISPERING] Do you wish you were someplace else? -I do.

-He said, "I do." I heard him. -Huh?

You're man and wife. Now kiss!

[SQUEALS]

Whoa!

-[SAM GRUNTS] -I can't wait to get you home, pumpkin.

SAM: No!

Wow! Those two really fell head over heels for each other.

[LAUGHING]

[LISPING] Valentine's Day!

My favorite day of the year.

I love spreading love and laughing

and laughing and spreading love and laughing some more.

[LAUGHING]

Ooh, here's an opportunity now.

[BOTH GROAN]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

-Whoa! -Double whoa!

[LAUGHING]

I'm Cupid.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Sheesh!

Everyone falls for Valentine's Day.

But not me.

Still haven't found a fowl for this fella.

-Whoo-hoo! -[LAUGHING]

[BOTH GROAN]

[EXCLAIMS]

A giant baby!

You okay, giant baby?

-Must spread love. -Sheesh! You're a mess!

Can't go on.

-You need to take my place. -Take your place?

Where do you live? If it's got a pool, I'm in.

No, take these arrows.

Whomever you hit with these will fall in love with the first person they see.

Go. Be Cupid.

[GROANS]

Don't worry, giant baby.

I'm gonna spread love like butter on toast!

Whoo-hoo!

Wait a minute!

What did the giant baby say? Whatever I hit, they fall in love?

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

[LAUGHS]

Oh, brother! I'm not really gonna do this.

[GASPS] Ooh!

Who is that?

Now there is one fine flying female. Whoo-hoo!

Excuse me, squab.

Birds of a feather flock together. Am I right?

How's about coming back to my nest, huh?

-[GROWLS TEMPTINGLY] -[QUACKS]

This little quacker is gonna need a bit more swooning. Whoo-hoo!

Don't leave me hanging, sweetie.

Although you could, 'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

[QUACKS]

Oh, come on, there's got to be an easier way.

Wait a minute.

Ah-ha! There is!

[SLURPING] Ah!

[VOCALIZING]

If you thought I was in love before,

wait till you get a load of me now!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Gotcha!

This is one catch I'm never throwing back.

Huh. Playing hard to get, huh?

I need to approach this in a more roundabout way.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Healthcare for all!

No more taxes!

[BOTH MOANING]

We're each other's running mates.

Emphasis on "mates."

Hey!

My arrows.

Ow! [GASPS]

Missed her by that much.

What is happening?

[VOCALIZING]

You! You messed up everything!

Hey! Baby's up from his nap.

[VOCALIZING]

Ooh!

What are you doing?

You were supposed to spread love, not make people crazy.

What's the difference? Whoo-hoo!

I was just trying to get that duck to fall in love with me.

But she's playing hard to get.

[QUACKS] Hmm!

Ooh, you made a mess of everything!

Don't you think you're being a bit rash?

And I'm not talking about your diaper.

Give me my arrow. You're doing it all wrong.

You need to take careful aim, like this. See?

Bulls...

[VOCALIZING]

...eye?

[VOCALIZING]

Uh-oh! Something tells me I'm in trouble.

[WHISTLING]

-[VOCALIZING] -Hello, lady.

[WHISTLING]

No! Control yourself, please!

That's her type? A giant baby?

Better him than me. Whoo-hoo!

-[CROWD MURMURING] -Oh, may I help you?

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] Whoa!

ALL: [CHANTING] Must kiss duck. Must kiss duck.

-Must kiss duck. -This may not end well.

Come on, guys! You don't want me.

-You're smothering me! -[KISSING]

[STRAINING]

Love is for the birds.

Good thing I am one. Whoo-hoo!