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* I met the darkness *

* Said, how do you do? *

* And I danced on water *

* With the weight on my shoulder Fell right through *

* In the water I see *

* Everything that lies beneath *

* In the water I see *

* Who I'm trying to be *

* In the water I see *

* Everything I want *

* Comes at a cost *

* Everything I want *

* Comes at a cost *

* And I want *

* It all *

* So ring me up *

* Put it on my tab *

* Whatever the cost *

* I'm good for it *

* So ring me up *

* Put it on my tab *

* Whatever the cost *

* I'm good for it *

* So ring me up *

* Put it on my tab *

* Whatever the cost *

* I'm good for it *

Don't be sad.

Competitions are hard,

and you did a great job.

But I fell.

And you got back up.

Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?

Okay.

What?

Mom didn't come home last night.

Do you know where she is?

You're actually calling me?

I'm sorry about how it all went down last night, but...

It all went down because of you.

I can't believe you and Mom lied to me.

About everything. -I'm sorry, Kat. It's just...

Mitch spent the night, and when Mom didn't come home,

he tried calling her like a million times, and she's still not picking up.

It's not my problem.

Look, I'm tired of you being a giant bitch to me one minute

and then needing my help the next.

You're on your own.

I hate my sister.

Is everything okay?

Well, I'm a girl with bipolar...

raised by a crazy person

who ruined everything for me.

All I wanna do is skate,

but my partner hates me.

So, yeah, everything's great.

Justin doesn't hate you.

He hates that you don't know if you love him.

Everything feels so real.

And then when it's over, it's like...

it's like someone else felt those things.

Sometimes it's hard to know what's actually real.

Okay, but you obviously care about him, so if you wanna skate,

can't you just tell Justin you love him?

It'll be like faking an emotional orgasm.

I can't lie to him anymore.

All I know for sure is that I wanna skate.

I can't even do that.

I have nothing.

You have me.

I know.

Thanks.

Hey.

Where the hell have you been?

I've been, um... I... I was with Kat all night.

Why? What happened?

She's just upset

'cause I didn't want her to go to Sectionals.

And, um... And my phone was on silent all night,

and it's... it's just... it's been crazy.

It's okay.

Sorry, I...

I got a little paranoid there.

It's... It's fine.

Um...

So I'm... I'm running late, so...

Wh... It's like two hours to Boise. I'll just meet you at Sectionals, okay?

Oh, okay. Don't rush.

Serena's taken care of, and I'll, um...

Yeah, I'll see you soon.

You're in an awful hurry.

Uh...

Uh, yeah. My kid has a thing, so I gotta go.

Oh.

Oh, just hang on a sec.

I, uh...

I signed those papers for you, so...

Uh...

Oh, okay. -Yeah.

Okay.

Congrats on the sale.

Dr. Gillick to acute care, please. Dr. Gillick to acute care.

Wow.

Hey, Justin.

Come on in. It's just boobs.

Yeah. Totally.

I'm not getting much yet, but the nurse said every drop counts

if I'm gonna help this baby grow.

NICU let me meet her. She looks just like you.

She does? -Yeah.

Hm. I can't tell.

I mean, she still looks like a little tomato with feet to me.

Pick a name for the tomato yet?

No.

Um...

I just... I wanted to wait until we're sure.

Honey, she's gonna be fine. She's a fighter, just like her mama.

So I'm gonna head out from here, drive south.

Maybe see Utah,

Colorado.

Doing the right thing.

You know, I've been thinking about it,

and, hey, I mean no disrespect to mentally ill people, but...

that girl,

she's a wild card.

If you ask me, you don't need that kind of mess in your life.

I didn't hear him ask you anything.

All right then. Justin...

what do you think?

Was she worth losing everything over?

I don't know.

I'll see you guys around.

Things aren't always so black and white, James.

I mean, Kat has a lot going on, but...

that doesn't make her a bad person.

Maybe not,

but she's bad for my son.

I mean, life throws enough bullshit at you on its own.

The last thing he needs is to dive headfirst into more complication.

Mr. and Mrs. Davis...

There's been a slight setback with your daughter's lungs.

She's having trouble breathing.

Hm.

Hmm. -Hm.

So...

You're not even going to try to see Tatiana?

We talk about her grandchildren and...

my work and my cat and...

It was all very polite.

Too much time passed, you know?

Fantasy's over.

Okay, Anna Karenina.

You've gotta stop it with the chitchat and go see her face-to-face.

That's how you're going to get

your fairy-tale ending.

That's how I got mine.

You had one date with the doctor.

It only takes one.

Ooh! You look how I'm feeling.

You know what?

We need Irish coffee.

I'm gonna get the vodka.

Isn't Irish coffee with whiskey?

Not today.

I'll get it.

Justin!

Look, I'm not gonna let how you feel about me or don't...

make me lose everything.

I wanna go to Nationals.

What are you saying?

I still wanna skate, so if you're up for it...

Oh, my God. Yeah.

I mean...

yes. Thank you.

Good. We're gonna skate.

Yay! -Uh...

I'll go get my stuff. -Oh, maybe I wasn't clear.

We're not going together.

I'll take Dasha, and we'll meet you at the rink.

I'll be back in an hour to pick you up.

Okay.

See.

You get to skate, and you didn't even have to fake it.

Hm.

Yeah.

Win-win.

* I wish I was more like you *

* Can be found in everything you do... *

Hey. I thought Kat was sick.

She got over it.

Seems like a pretty quick recovery time from pneumonia.

It was a minor case. -Well, good luck.

I hope for your sake she's feeling better because...

I'm feeling fucking great.

Is she ever not exhausting?

You should probably stop talking about my partner like that.

What?

Listen,

I've worked my ass off to be here,

and I'm not gonna let you breeze in like you always do

and stand on top of that podium waving

with that big, entitled golden retriever smile.

This is my year.

We'll see about that.

You okay?

I don't know.

It must be triggering, right?

You know, this rink has been the star of literally every nightmare I've had

for the last two years.

But...

weirdly,

I don't feel nervous.

Wow. Really?

Why do you think?

I don't know.

Ethan?

Jenn. Hey!

I wasn't expecting to see you.

Me neither.

What are you doing here?

Ah, you know, I have that concierge service that I offer

for some of my wealthier patients. Um...

There's a senior lady who's suffering from a...

An inflated sense of her own importance.

Hey, Kat. -Good to see you, Dr. Parker.

I mean, Ethan.

Well,

since we're both here, we might as well be spectators together.

Hm? -Yeah. I'd like that.

Ooh. Work beckons. Um...

Meet you back here in a bit? -Yeah.

He's cute.

Really?

I'd better go get ready for the short.

Okay. Go kill it.

Yeah, Serena! You killed that practice!

That's our friend, Serena, crushing it! That's our friend right there.

Dude, come on!

We're here to support her, not terrify her.

Sorry!

My phone died, and I was in traffic for like a hundred hours.

Ooh! Ow! -Oh, shit!

It's the suit. It soaks up electricity like a kite.

I didn't have time to change or do anything.

You're just being a good mom to Kat.

Well, not good enough, apparently, to keep her from skating,

because I just saw her.

Oh, hey, honey.

Well, at least Serena's happy to see me.

Hm.

I fucked up today.

I'm a fuck-up.

No, you're not.

And I'm sorry if I made you feel that way yesterday.

You know what it did to me when...

Rachel cheated.

It completely screwed me up,

and, well, I realized that I shouldn't put that on you.

I love you, Carol.

And I do wanna move in with you.

Hm?

Serena! -Bethany.

Did you hear that Kiara Dicenzo has a triple axel too?

Who's Kiara Dicenzo?

You don't know her?

Well, you will now.

Hers is a little less consistent than mine,

but I heard she's fully rotated.

Uh-huh.

Don't be scared, though.

I'm not scared.

You look scared. Maybe it's just your face.

Some people have a face that just looks a certain way.

Who are you looking for?

Serena.

Hey. -Sorry to interrupt. You...

said you wanted me to take a look at the wrist before the short today.

Yeah. Yeah, thanks.

I've gotta go, Bethany.

Good luck with Kiara.

Looked like you needed saving.

Yeah, kinda.

Here it is. -Thank you so much for coming.

Yeah.

With my family and everything else that's going on,

it's so good to see you.

Of course.

Do you want, uh...

to go for a drive, get out of here for a little bit?

Yeah, okay.

Pairs are up next, and I don't skate for a couple more hours.

Sure you won't be missed?

Kat wants nothing to do with me,

and I'm pretty sure my mom is too distracted to realize I'm gone.

So...

I'm all yours.

Let's hit it.

I cannot believe this is happening.

Hey, the doctor said the surfactin has a 90 percent chance of working, okay?

But what about the other ten percent? I mean, what happens then?

It's not an option.

Look, she's a fighter just like her mama.

Stop saying that!

She's a three-pound baby.

If she doesn't make it, it's not because she didn't fight hard enough.

Sorry. Um...

She could die before I ever have the chance to hold her.

I can't lose her too.

What do you mean?

"You can't lose her too." What does that mean?

James...

I had another baby.

A girl.

I gave her up for adoption when I was 15.

I never even got to hold her.

Carol said that I should tell you.

That you would understand.

I was too young.

It wasn't fair to either one of us for me to keep her.

Justin texted me earlier.

He and Kat have decided to skate.

You know, it's a big day for him. I should really be there.

James...

The rink's only a couple of hours from here. Call me if anything changes.

James!

Do you think we should add an extra double toe to the jump combination?

Huh?

Uh, no, no. It's fine. You'll be fine.

What's up with Dasha? -She mentioned some long-lost love

messing with her head.

That shit can be distracting.

Justin, I'm sorry.

It's fine. I'm kidding.

You won't even look at me.

Okay. You know what?

That's enough.

I warned you not to make your partnership anything more, but did you listen? No.

So, lucky for you, all great art comes from pain.

So you go out there and express your pain.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Okay, fine. Then go and fake it.

Welcome to the ice our last skaters

in the short program event from the Pinecrest Skating Club,

Justin Davis and Katarina Baker.

Go, Kat and Justin!

Pinecrest! Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

After the short program, Davis and Baker have a total

of 61.35 points... -Yes!

Which puts them in first place. -Oh, my God!

All right! That's good.

Good for you. Today's a big day.

Very proud. Very proud.

So get some rest,

and I'll see you tomorrow for the long program. Yes.

We did it! We won!

Better get used to this golden retriever smile

because you're gonna be seeing a lot more of it.

Ah!

You killed it!

And the look on Leah's face, that will sustain me for years.

Are you freaking out right now?

Hi, Justin!

Yeah.

Ethan's taking me out tonight to make up for ditching me for some patient today.

You wanna come with? We could celebrate your win.

Um... I'm just not really in the mood.

Okay.

Kat!

Jesus.

I don't have anything to say to you.

What are you doing here?

Shouldn't you be with my bitch of a sister?

Don't say that!

It was always you two against the world. I hate that you're fighting.

I was gonna go to the hotel with them,

but Mitch kept being so nice, I couldn't handle it anymore.

You were right.

I'm a terrible person.

I never said you were a terrible person.

Technically, I said you were a terrible mother.

I really gotta go.

Wait!

Look, I did something really stupid last night,

and Mitch is the only person I have left, and he thinks I'm this good person.

I know I...

I can't ask this of you, but if he...

if he says anything, will you say I was with you?

What did you do?

You're unbelievable.

You just... You never learn.

Please, Kat. I love him.

I'll lie for you.

If you answer this question for me.

Anything.

How come people like us,

with fucked-up brains like ours,

how do we know what love is?

There was a moment.

A moment?

When I realized I loved Mitch.

I had just come home from the hospital, and...

he was brushing his teeth in the bathroom,

and he smiled at me through his toothpaste.

Then I realized I love this man.

The night I left home,

you told me that...

people like you and I, we...

we can't always trust our instincts.

It's true. We can't.

But we can hold onto those moments...

where...

things just suddenly feel right.

It's just 'cause...

love isn't always an emotion for people like us.

It has to be a decision.

And I'm just so worried that...

you're gonna spend all this time trying to pin down this emotion,

you're gonna go crazy, honey.

I won't tell Mitch,

but I think you should.

I love him too much.

I think I left my bracelet in your hotel room last night.

Ah! That's too bad.

It's mine now, actually. -Oh, stop it!

No, I'm serious...

Serena.

Hey.

You're here early.

Yeah, I have a practice session. Can you look at my wrist? Now.

Duty calls.

Good luck, Serena.

Are you dating Jenn?

Is that why you weren't answering my texts last night?

Serena...

We never said we were serious.

You said you loved me.

I thought we were having fun.

All right?

I clearly misjudged the situation. I...

I'm thinking you're not really mature enough to handle this.

Wait, are you breaking up with me? -You need to keep your voice down.

Stop acting like a stupid kid.

I'm not! -Probably shouldn't tell anyone about us.

Reputation is a big part of all this, right?

Wouldn't wanna ruin yours.

I won't say anything.

I took your advice.

I told Tatiana I want to see her.

I invited her here.

That's great!

She said no.

Oh.

Was it like a hard no or...

She said...

it's better to live with our memories than risk disappointment.

Not everyone gets a happy ending.

I'm so sorry.

Are you going to be okay?

Of course.

There is no crying on competition day.

* It's been a while since you and I are here to bring it on *

* Just keep in mind this always means they're trying to make us work *

* I know that you're out here *

* In form without me *

* And that's all right And now it's time *

* That you should know *

* We are out on troubled water *

* Troubled water *

* Am I the problem? *

* We are out on troubled water *

* Troubled water *

* Am I the problem? *

* I'm by your side, do you got time... *

Okay, let's do the lift.

* And that's too bad *

* But now it's time I make it clear *

* We are out on troubled water *

* Troubled water *

* Am I the problem? *

* We are out on troubled water *

* Troubled water *

* Am I the problem... *

You okay? -Yeah.

Thank you.

Told you I'd never let you fall.

What?

You asked if I meant it when I said I loved you.

I told you I didn't know.

But I do now.

I love you, Justin.

Fuck you.

Justin! -No. You can't do that to me again, Kat.

You can't just say that.

But it's true.

Okay... Remember when we were working on our overhead lifts,

and we had that huge fight outside your suite

because you were being a giant asshole.

Wow, okay.

And you came back on the ice, and right before we tried the lift again,

you looked at me, and you told me that you would never let me fall.

That was the moment I fell in love with you.

I've never been able to trust somebody to not let me fall before.

Except you.

You know, it's the reason why...

I'm not scared to skate on this rink.

It's why, even when we won the short, it didn't feel right.

It's not just about the skating anymore for me.

You hurt me.

I know.

A lot.

I know.

I know you do.

Fuck.

Let's go beat Leah and Gabe now, okay?

Okay.

Get your coats on. Meet me outside.

Serena! Come on. Help your sister.

Is Mom sick again?

I don't know.

It's gonna be okay.

I'm here.

Serena...

Are you worried about your long program?

You know, you shouldn't be. I heard you did great on the short.

Don't pretend like you care.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but...

Mom was right.

We shouldn't be fighting.

Come on.

Tell me what's wrong.

Like...

you think you know someone, you trust them, care about them,

but then you find out they don't give a shit about you,

and they'll just leave you like everyone else in my life.

Serena... -Whatever.

He's just an asshole.

Did something happen between you and Drew?

He said he loved me,

but all he really wanted was sex.

You're having sex with him?

Serena!

Why aren't you warming up right now?

Get off that bench and come over here!

Come on!

Hm?

Which one of you is Drew?

I hear you're sleeping with my sister. -I wish I was sleeping with Serena.

Sorry. What I mean is she friend-zoned me pretty quick.

She doesn't even like Reid. Like, as a person.

She really doesn't.

I don't understand. She told me she's dating you.

Really? Well, she's got a pretty weird idea

of what dating means.

You asked her to go fishing.

Nine times.

She didn't answer me once.

Fine. Whatever.

Sorry.

Hey. Are you okay?

Something's going on with Serena.

Of course there is.

And I thought you didn't care anymore.

Don't you skate in like 20 minutes?

Yeah, but I'm not gonna be able to focus if I can't find out what's going on.

Damn it, Serena!

Dad?

Oh, hey! There he is.

What are you doing here? -I thought I'd come and wish you luck.

Not that you need luck.

I mean, you know, I'm proud of you, son.

You earned this. You work hard.

How are you feeling? Good? Good.

You okay there?

Yeah. You know, wanted to come and watch my son skate.

I know you like when I win, but not sure you ever loved watching me skate.

Mandy had a baby.

Years ago.

I didn't know.

Wow.

Yeah.

And she told Carol.

The woman's a train wreck,

and she thought to herself,

I won't tell my husband, but I'll tell Carol.

I mean, am I really that hard to confide in?

Yes.

Sometimes you have to forgive the rest of the world

for not being so perfect.

It's not that.

I just wish she would've told me. That's all.

She did.

Maybe not when you wanted her to, but...

you can't fault someone for being complicated.

It's probably what made you love her.

You should probably get back to the hospital.

You can watch me and Kat skate at Nationals.

Okay.

Good luck.

Don't need it.

Come on.

So, Serena's having sex.

It's not a crime. She's 16.

Yeah, I know, but she lied to me.

And she was really upset.

I know I can't always trust my instincts, but something's not right.

I know it.

What are you doing?

Serena basically transcribes her whole life into this phone.

If there's anything weird, it'll be here.

Heart emoji.

Seriously?

Whoa!

Why is she sending naked pictures of herself to some guy?

She wrote, "Did the last four months mean nothing to you?

Did the other night mean nothing to you?"

Mitch has been coaching her for four months exactly.

When would your mom leave her alone with him overnight?

She did.

Two nights ago, when she was...

Oh, fuck!

Should we call the police?

I gotta be more careful this time.

I can't do anything until I have proof,

like actual proof.

I'm gonna call him.

This customer has not enabled voicemail.

Okay. Well, he wouldn't be dumb enough to use his actual phone, right?

He must have another phone.

I'm gonna go talk to him.

You want me to come?

I can't drag you into this again.

Next up in the ladies' long program,

Serena Baker from the Pinecrest Skating Club.

Shit!

Damn it!

Are you sleeping with my sister?

Excuse me?

Are you sleeping with Serena?

Look, I don't know how you got this into your head...

You slapped her ass with your glove.

You've clearly lost your mind.

My mom told me she didn't come home the other night.

Did something happen between you and Serena?

Wait. What?

What the hell is going on here? -Where were you?

The other night when you didn't come home.

What? -Because it wasn't with Kat.

I made a mistake.

No.

It was my mistake getting involved with this family.

And for the record,

I would never lay a hand on Serena.

I can't do this.

Tell Serena that I'm sorry.

I can't believe you just did that.

Do you really think he was doing something to Serena?

Or were you just trying to get back at me to ruin my life?

I didn't mean it.

Look, I just needed to know if it was him.

You're always telling me to look out for her. That's what I'm doing!

You know what? I wish you were too.

Serena?

Your sister thinks something's wrong.

Is there?

Is someone hurting you?

Serena.

Ssh.

This customer has not enabled voicemail.

There you are. Why aren't you ready?

They're almost finished, and we're second up.

I'm sorry. I know. I'm just dealing with some family stuff.

I'll get changed, and I'll come meet you by the rink, okay?

I love you.

Hey!

I know about you and Serena.

I've seen all of it.

The texts, the photos.

I'm sorry. I don't know what you're talking about.

Yes, you fucking do.

And I'm not gonna let you get away with it.

She's 16! -All right.

Yes...

your sister texted me.

I didn't know what to do. I...

I felt sorry for her.

Seemed like a pretty lonely kid, so I texted her back.

If you look at the messages, you'll see I barely answered her,

but she was obsessed.

She started thinking we were in a relationship.

This is just a case of a delusional teenage girl with a crush.

No.

I don't believe you.

Hey.

What's up?

Why's everyone so serious?

Did you figure out what was going on with your sister?

Yeah.

Oh, come on. You can't believe that shit.

Jenn, it's okay. It's just a misunderstanding.

It's not worth getting upset.

This is bullshit. First Drew, then Mitch, now you?

Why would Serena lie about this? It's right here.

She's your sister, isn't she?

She must be lying.

Jenn! -What?

You lied to me for years about everything.

You know why I did that.

Yeah, I do.

Because you're crazy, and so is your entire family.

And I'm not gonna let your crazy fuck up my happiness. Not again!

Ethan,

I think we should go.

No.

Jenn!

You can't just walk away.

Hey.

You were right.

Life is complicated.

I'm so sorry.

I was just hurt that you didn't think you could tell me.

I'm just a jackass sometimes.

I love you. -I love you too.

Serena.

How did this happen?

He was nice to me.

At the hospital, when I sprained my wrist after Mom...

Then you moved out,

and Mom was with Mitch,

and my dad left.

There was no one else, and he said he cared about me.

I'm calling the police.

No.

No, you're not.

You're going to skate.

Are you kidding?

I'll deal with this.

I should never have left home.

No, this is not on you.

You were right. You knew something was wrong,

and instead of listening to your instincts, I made you feel crazy.

Okay, I'm her mother. This is my responsibility.

We are going to get through this. Do you understand me?

Because the only other option is to quit, and we don't do that.

Not in this family.

Look, I know life has thrown the three of us some real shit.

We're gonna be okay.

Mom's right, Kat.

You need to skate.

After everything that's happened, we need this.

Something good.

I've already called her twice.

Try again.

Kat, we're on next.

What do we do now?

Next from the Pinecrest Skating Club,

Justin Davis and Katarina Baker.

Sorry I'm late. -There you are. Is everything okay?

* We're all scared of trenches *

* And grow weak at knees *

* I want you to know that *

* If all you've ever wanted *

* Was a dream *

* Then you know that I can't help you *

* But did I show you love... *

Dasha. -* In the author of my face? *

* 'Cause you know you left a hollow... *

Tatiana!

* Where your body cut an alcove *

* Did I show you love? *

* 'Cause the silence never stayed *

* It's a breach I'll never cover *

* It's a breach I'll never cover... *

Hi.

I'm Serena Baker's mother.

Yes, I'd like to report an assault.

* You happened out the back door *

* Laying bare this need *

* Oh, you open up this vessel... *

Just stay close to me.

Come on, girls!

I have a surprise. -* And gather all the quivers *

* That never got to fly... *

Look! We're gonna have a campout.

Yay!

And...

See? Isn't this fun?

Just me and my girls.

* In the author of our face *

* 'Cause you know you left a hollow *

* Where your body cut an alcove *

* Did I show you love? *

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