Original subtitles

Move it! What? You scared me!

Move outta here. I know, I... Look, the car is temporarily out of order.

And it'll be ready in a minute. I swear.

All right, get this thing out of here, right now.

Wait a minute, guys. Don't get excited.

I'm trying to get this fixed.

Lady, will you move your goddamn car out of the way!

I'm very sorry. I'm very, very sorry.

It always starts sooner or later if we're just really patient.

This is an official convoy.

What's going on?

All right, get out.

Get out of the car. I'm gonna be late.

Come on! This happens a lot

and, um, I'm gonna be okay. We got it, we got it.

Roll down the window.

I don't know, sir.

Can you open the door? Could you open the door?

I can't, because, look...

See? See this thing?

It's always been that way.

I can't open the door. Oh, God!

Young lady, get this thing outta here!

I don't blame you!

You've got to move this car, lady.

I'd open the door but I can't.

I can't. I can't. I'm locked in here.

I'm going to have an anxiety attack.

Oh, no!

Oh!

This is mental!

Oh, this is great. Gosh, thank you so much.

Anytime. I'm so late.

The second time this week.

I'm late.

The car? Yeah.

I'm late.

Lou's going to kill me.

And if tonight's banquet

in honor of the visiting Emir Khaled Abin Abdul Majid

has its desired effect,

State Department insiders predict that the administration

will soon be announcing the start of construction

on a major military base in the emir's remote

but strategically located Middle Eastern country.

State department...

Presidential aide, John J. Hilley, was accused today

of being overly ambitious and overly zealous by several congressmen.

Brad, not in the middle of the afternoon.

Oh, Kim, middle of the afternoon,

middle of the night, what's the difference?

Brad, we can't. It's just not right. It's just not right.

Right? I'll show you what's right.

This is right.

And this...

And this...

Hi, sweetie! Hi.

I'm late. The car?

Yeah.

Oh!

Taxi!

Taxi!

Hi!

Hey, Sunny! No car?

No car.

Can I give you a ride home, later?

No, thanks, Jimmy. I got a date.

Hi, Lou. Nice, Sunny.

Nice. Thank you very much for showing up.

Oh, geez, am I late?

How come you were running like that if you didn't know you were late?

Exercise. Ah!

Funny. Very Funny!

See, I can't pay my taxes here.

The joint's dying on us...

I'm real sorry. I promise I'll be on time

the whole rest of the week, okay?

What rest of the week? It's Friday already.

Look, you can make it up to me by working cleanup tonight.

Oh, Lou, not tonight. Please, I have a late date.

Sunny, who're you going out with?

Guess.

Uh, the Friday night special?

Oh, come on, Donna. Give me a break.

He's not so bad.

What do you expect for Christ's sake, this is Washington, D.C.

The men are all married, or gay, or they work for the government.

Or all three. How come you got the zebra?

I got here first.

Well, what does that mean? I get the giraffe?

No. Francine has the giraffe tonight.

Oh, no!

Oh, yes! Oh, no way!

No way! There's absolutely no way I...

What are you yelling about? What's the matter with you?

I will not walk around this place

dressed like a goddamn chicken!

That is not a chicken, that is an emu!

An emu? I've never heard of an emu!

Nobody I know ever heard of an emu.

So, wear it yourself!

No, dear, I'm not a chicken.

I'm an emu.

That's emu.

E-M-U.

No, sweetie, I will not sit on your eggs.

God, I've got to get something together

for my car which had a total breakdown today.

God, I'm so broke.

See that guy over there? The one with the green jacket.

Yeah? He's looking for a good time.

Well, I think he's gonna have a lot of trouble finding it.

Look, I know you don't go for stuff like that,

but the guy gave me 10 bucks for an introduction.

An introduction, that's all.

Yeah? Well, tell him I said "How do you do?"

Hey, sunshine, listen to me.

I've got a couple extra hundred bucks

and I'm not doing anything with it.

You wouldn't have to worry about paying me back right away.

Oh, I'm okay, Ella. Really, I am.

I'm serious! You know my friend I told you about?

Sure. Well, he's been real generous lately.

I mean, real generous. You know what I mean?

I think so.

See this?

Now, don't tell anyone. It's real.

Wow!

See these? They're not.

He paid for all three.

Now listen, my friend has some friends, very nice guys.

You should go out with us some time.

Oh, no. I couldn't.

I didn't say I didn't believe you.

I just said that I thought it was very interesting

that you used the same excuse last week.

No, that was last week.

Your sister's kid's measles was the week before.

I'm not yelling! I'm just speaking distinctly!

No, you can't come over later because later is the middle of the night.

And anyway, while we're on the subject,

I want to say something. I want...

God, it's got to get better.

Does it?

Doesn't it?

Sure it does.

Good night, sweetheart.

Good night, honey.

Among the celebrities we expect to see tonight

are the president himself and his honored guest,

the Emir Khaled Abin Abdul Majid.

Washington insiders consider tonight's gala

to be the beginning of a series of attempts

on the part of the administration,

to arrange an important strategic deal with the emir.

A deal that would involve the establishment of a major American military presence

in that Middle Eastern country.

Although the emir has had to struggle for some years

to reconcile dissident factions

within his traditionally conservative nation,

he is considered powerful enough,

if not popular enough, to assure his own people

that the long-term economic benefits from such an arrangement

would more than help his suffering country.

Excuse me! Excuse me!

Right this way, please.

Who is it? Is it the president?

Yes, right here, thank you.

Now, one more. Elizabeth!

Just one more, please. Thank you.

How are you?

This is our car.

There he is!

Oh!

Oh!

Ouch!

Ooh! Ow! What've you got in there, a gun?

A gun?

A gun! A gun!

I got him! I got him!

He got me! He got me!

At approximately 11:45,

when the president's banquet in honor of

the state visit of the Emir Khaled Abin Abdul Majid was breaking up,

and the would-be assassin appeared in the crowd.

According to eyewitnesses and the information we have developed so far,

reveals that the name of that real-life heroine

is Sunny Ann Davis.

And that her selfless action in the face of great danger...

The cocktail waitress apparently threw herself

in the path of the bullet from the alleged would-be killer's gun.

Jerry. What?

It's Sunny.

There is still no word as to her condition.

On the lighter side...

No identification yet of the gun-wielding man

who to the horror of hundreds of terrified witnesses

made his abortive attempt on the life of the emir.

We have still not been told exactly how serious

the courageous Miss Davis' medical condition might be.

Oh, my God!

Or even in fact where precisely she was wounded.

All right, forceps.

Yeah, I think I've got it.

Suture, please.

Beautiful. Really beautiful.

Thank you.

How did you happen to be there?

Well, like I said I was coming out of the hotel.

I was working 7-11 that night,

but I was late at this time because of all the C.A.

C.A.? Citizen activity.

Oh.

I don't know that technical jargon but, uh...

Security guard talk, Bob.

Okay. Now what did you think

when you heard the first shot?

Well, uh, I thought,

"Oh, my God, somebody's shooting."

And the man that was firing,

did you actually see him?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, see, I'd clocked him

a little while before,

you know, because he was a little bit funny.

But uh, I figured, what the heck, he's just one of those funny-looking fanatic guys

who hang around when something's going on. Yeah. I see.

What did you do?

Well, there really wasn't anything I could do.

There was no reason to. See, at the Craigmore School of Security

we're told never to impede on an individual's rights.

Even after he pulled his weapon out?

Well, then you go, uh, right into

standard operating procedure.

Well, what would standard operating procedure be in a case like this?

Well, uh, in this particular case, I forgot.

Do you remember how many shots were fired?

Oh, sure. Yeah. Uh, between two and...

Between about three and eight. Or nine.

She is right behind me in one of the rooms

of the George Washington University Hospital.

And according to the latest medical bulletin she's doing just fine.

There has been a rumor all day that somebody from the White House,

perhaps the President himself,

is gonna be paying a visit to this young lady

whose unusual display of bravery,

of intestinal fortitude, of good old fashioned American guts,

have suddenly thrust her into the harsh,

yet warm and grateful light of media attention.

Will you give these flowers to Sunny?

And tell her they're from

the United Ladies for a Better America.

I'm her cousin on her mother's side.

I'm her cousin, just look at me.

Don't I look like her? Look!

Just look at me! Look at me! Don't I look like her?

I'm afraid I can't comment at the moment.

There will be a press conference this morning.

Come on. Give us a break.

Check me out! I'm a personal friend of Norman Mailer!

Thank you.

Give us a break!

More mail! More mail, Sunny. More mail.

Besides, I'm visiting my friend Sunny Davis, the national hero.

Uh, call back later. Or better yet, call me.

Lou Fox of the Safari Club.

Mom, you should see this room. It's so beautiful.

I mean, it's like a honeymoon suite.

I've got picture on the wall,

I can see the Capitol from the window.

Look at this, Wayne Newton.

More mail. More mail.

This is so exciting. I can't...

Barry Manilow.

Oh, Mom, listen, I think I'm coming home soon.

Yeah. They're gonna pay for it.

Yeah, they're paying... Who are you?

I'm Mike Ransome.

I'm, uh, the Middle East desk chief over at the State Department.

I'm here to help you get through your press conference.

Oh! Mom, I'll call you back. Give my love to Dad. Lou, hey! Pay attention.

Okay, bye-bye!

Well, you sure don't look like one.

Like one what?

A middle-aged desk clerk.

No, no, that's Middle East desk chief.

Oh! More mail!

More mail!

I guess you're hearing from a lot of people.

Liza Minnelli!

This is a list of 90 names,

all marriage proposals.

Well, I may have to turn some of them down.

Are you married, Mr. Ransome?

Hey, Donna, come on. Give the guy a break, okay?

I mean, really!

Are you married, Mr. Ransome?

Not anymore.

Congratulations. Neither am I.

I know. Oh, yeah? What else do you know?

I know that we don't have much time before the press conference.

So, if you'd just let me, uh, fill you in on some of this material.

Shoot. Now, this map is part of the background material

that we're handing out to the press today.

Now, here is the emir's country.

In yellow? Yes.

And pretty. That's pretty. It's a pretty little country.

And yes, of course, you cannot help but discern its strategic importance

to the west in terms of its proximity to the Gulf

and its value as a buffer, geographically speaking,

between these two traditional rival nations.

Wow.

Dr. Greg Pearlman, the chief of surgery here

at George Washington University Hospital

is just finishing his report

on the details of Miss Davis' medical condition.

The young lady herself...

Mr. Hilley's office.

Oh, would you hold a moment, Senator?

Can you speak with Senator Miller?

Would you, uh, tell him I'll call him back

when this press conference is over? I wanna watch it.

I apologize, Senator.

Can Mr. Hilley call you back

just as soon as this press conference is over?

It won't be but a minute.

Wonderful. Thank you. Bye-bye.

Let's take our cameras down to the floor now.

Miss Sunny Davis being wheeled to the microphone.

Would you like to say something before the questions?

No, not really.

Well, yes.

Um, well, I'd like to say, um...

Thank you to everybody at the hospital

for being so nice and taking such good care of me.

And, um, I'd like to tell everybody in America

that this is absolutely the best place to come

if you're ever shot in the ass.

Is the chief watching this?

Don't know.

Well, what did he say when you talked to him?

He was taking a nap.

Now that the worst is over, can you tell us what you're going to do next?

Well, I'm going to go home to Oregon and visit my folks.

And, uh, relax and see what new things my dad's invented in his workshop.

And, uh, check on my dog,

and eat some of my mom's huckleberry pie,

which is about the best in the world.

Jesus Christ!

What is this cornball routine?

Look at them. Who?

Them. The hard-boiled press.

Yeah. They're eating it up.

And then there's my grandma and grandpa who I haven't seen in a long time and...

Gosh, they're in their 70s and in really great shape.

And Grandma still acts as a volunteer school crossing guard.

I think she's gonna sing the national anthem in a minute.

Hi, Grandma. Hope you're watching.

I'll see you soon!

I'll bet Grandpa was personally decorated by Eisenhower or something.

And by the way, my grandfather

used to pitch for the Salem Rockets,

which, you know, was an old double AA league... Even better.

And he was MVP two years running, and we're really proud of him.

Maybe she's running for office.

Come on. Can you be that dumb and run for office?

A couple of questions, if you would.

First, Sunny, what about your personal life?

What about it? Well, for starters, you live with two men.

Is that right? No.

It isn't?

I live in a small part of a house

that belongs to two men who live together.

You understand the difference?

Uh, all right, all right,

let's go on to something else then.

Now, when you first realized that the alleged assailant was about to shoot...

Alleged? You wanna see alleged. I'll show you alleged.

All right, I've seen enough.

Ah, yeah, would you get the president for me, please?

As I see it so far, she's got the working women,

the small-town folks, the senior citizens,

the gays, and the law-and-order bunch.

And the baseball fans, barflies, and animal lovers!

Margaret! Yes? Yes, sir.

Make sure the line to the hospital is clear, right now.

Patch it through now! Do it! Do it!

She really is something, isn't she, sir?

Well, to tell you the truth, I'd never heard of the emir before last night

and I wasn't really risking my life for him or anything.

I just thought he was gonna try and shoot the president, that's all.

Tell him to make the call now. He's talking.

How can I interrupt?

I didn't say "give my life," I said "risk".

I mean, he is our president, isn't he?

No, sir.

Sunny, do you support the president's position...

Yes, sir, now.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

But do you support the president generally?

Do you think he's doing a good job?

Well, he gets paid a lot more than I do,

so he must be doing something right.

Make the call!

Did you vote for the president?

Well, actually, I never voted. Never?

Right, never.

Well, do you consider yourself

to be a republican or a democrat?

Look, I consider myself to be just an American.

Tell him to make the goddamn call!

There's a call here that some of you may want to listen to.

Who is it?

Hello?

Mr. President?

It's the president!

From Washington, D.C., CNN Headline News, top story.

I'd like to tell everybody in America

that this is absolutely the best place to come

if you're ever shot in the.

Tonight, Sunny Davis speaks up.

Hi, Grandma!

Sunny on Monday, at 7:30.

From Hollywood, The Tonight Show,

starring Johnny Carson!

Tonight, Johnny's one and only guest, Sunny Davis.

She's got the gun here, see? Mmm-hmm.

Okay, now, run it, please. Run it, please.

Thank you. Okay, now she's opening her mouth, see, see?

Right here, she's opening her mouth.

She's really determined here.

Yeah she's pulling him down, see, see, there it is. Mmm-hmm.

And she bites him here. He screams and...

Coming up, saints, sinners, and Sunny Davis.

Good evening. Tonight's lead story,

the sudden celebrity of Sunny Davis.

Sunny, do you think you'd ever do anything like this again?

Stay tuned. The news continues.

Lef.

Oh, absolutely, Your Majesty.

No problem.

And we get the base?

And he really said that?

Yes, Marietta. He really said that.

Well, I'm convinced.

Yes, but are we really being fair to her?

It's an extremely volatile situation,

and she's a totally inexperienced...

Oh, come on, Michael. She's some little drink hustler in a clip joint.

We're giving her a shot at something important.

You think she's gonna say no?

Coffee, gentlemen.

Shouldn't the president be in on this?

I don't think so, Michael.

You're right, Marietta. I think we can handle this among ourselves.

Besides, it's almost 9:30.

The president has retired.

He has a difficult day tomorrow.

Yeah, he has to get up...early.

He has to get up early.

Okay, okay. Who can we get to go talk to the girl

and impress her?

Come, on. Let's think. There must be someone.

Someone who is reasonably good-natured,

has a relatively high TVQ,

and absolutely nothing important to do.

Tom, this is the first time

anyone as highly ranked as the vice president has visited our city.

Although of course, the governor is here all the time

to visit his sister Clara,

who lives just outside of town.

And we're sure proud of that, Laurel.

Oh, here's the Cougar band coming around the corner

at Main and Superior.

Right past Schmitter's Hardware.

Sunny Davis graduated in the top 75% of her class

at Diamond Junction High. She was a pep girl,

a member of the hair-dressing club

as well as an expert ping-pong player.

Laurel, why don't you just describe some of the fashions here?

Okay. Well. Sunny Davis is wearing a red smock, I guess you'd call it.

And the vice president's wearing a suit.

Oh, there's Mayor Barrenholz.

He'll be giving Sunny Diamond Junction's unique version

of the key to our city, the gold chain saw,

with, of course, Sunny's name engraved right there on the blade.

Courtesy of Schmitter's Hardware,

corner of Main and Superior.

Oh, hurry! We're getting wet.

Can I help?

Bless you.

Thank you.

Come on, boy. Come on.

Here it is. Come on.

Here. Come on, come on, come on. Here it is.

Here you go, boy.

Come on, hey! Come on, give it to me.

Give it to me, come on. Yoo-hoo!

What do you think?

Oh, really fine.

Do you think so, honest?

Absolutely. I do.

It's like a real professional job.

Are you serious? Totally.

Believe me. My own cleaners back in D.C. couldn't do it.

Which ones?

Top Hat and Tails Express. Or Fourth Street?

Yes. Near the court there?

That's the one. They're terrible.

They once ruined a blouse of mine

and it was very delicate material.

It was very fragile.

Yes.

And they ripped it to shreds.

Really?

Shreds.

It's hard to believe what so-called professionals

will do sometimes, you know what I mean?

I think so. Yes.

Because professionals...

Well, they don't always care, you know.

Anyway...

Um, why don't you let me take them in for you.

No, I wanna do the cuffs.

It's not really necessary.

Necessary? Are you kidding? This is an honor for me.

Really, this is another major event in my life.

Well, I must say, this is very impressive, Mrs. Davis.

Thank you. Isn't this impressive, Michael?

Yes, sir, it certainly is, sir.

And just what is that vegetable dish might I ask?

That's another one of Dad's inventions.

It is? Asparabarb.

How's that?

It's a cross between asparagus and rhubarb.

I grow the stuff out back.

Looks like hell, but it's delicious.

Ooh, I'll bet it is.

Mr. Davis has developed quite a few original notions.

Has he?

If you'd like, after dinner, I'll take you down to the basement

and I'll show you something that'll knock your socks off.

Really? And what might that be?

Not now, dear.

It could save our country 50% of its water bills.

After dinner, Dad.

50% of its water bills?

Yes, I'd be interested in hearing about that.

It's an electric toilet.

Ah.

You won't forget the experience. I guarantee it.

Later, Dad.

Popcorn!

Oh, don't jump on the nice Mr. Vice President.

Ah! Do you want me to get rid of him?

Oh, no, absolutely not at all.

Ah, nice dog.

I wonder, why exactly you called him Popcorn?

Oh, that was his father's name.

Ah, yes. Of course.

So, let's talk about the future.

Okay.

Uh, first of all, how is, uh...

Oh, that's just about as good as new.

You'd have to look very close to see the scar.

Well, I'll... I'll take your word for it.

Sunny...

What are your plans?

I don't have any.

I mean, well, I have a job at the Safari Club,

and Lou, well, he's my boss,

and he's really a nice guy

and everything but business hasn't been so hot

and I was kind of hoping for an advancement, you know.

But the problem is that Lou's aunt works the cash register

and his sister is the hostess,

so, I mean, I'm just gonna have to wait around

until one of them quits or drops dead.

I guess you know what that's like, hmm?

Hmm.

Sunny, we want you to come and work with us.

What do you mean?

Well, we think you've proven yourself to be

a truly valuable citizen.

We think you'd be a valuable addition to our team.

Are you kidding?

No.

Well, oh, my gosh, what would I be doing?

Well, you'd be acting as a special assistant

to ambassador St. John.

You know who that is?

Um, I don't know. No, I don't think so.

No, I know I don't know. Who is he?

She. She? She's a she?

And she's the head of a department of government

that we think you'd be particularly well-suited for.

And what department is that?

Protocol.

Protocol?

That's...

Gosh, that's... I don't believe it.

Protocol?

Yeah.

Protocol!

Could, um...

Could you just, well, um...

I'll be right back. Could you just wait here?

And I'll just be right back.

Protocol.

You see these colored...

Oh, God, you won't believe what just happened!

What happened?

P-R-O... What's wrong you?

T-O-K...

What happened here?

P-R-O-T-O-C...

Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, guys. Protocol.

"The customs and regulations

"dealing with the ceremonies and etiquette

"of the diplomatic corps."

It's a job!

What kind of a job?

It's a job. They want me to work for them!

Work where?

Mama!

Oh, thank you!

Well, exactly, um, where would I be working?

The State Department. And I was wondering,

does a job like that pay by the hour, or the week or what?

Well, for a start, about $35,000 a year.

Sita, sita. Fa dow sita.

Dear Falcon, pigeon in cage. Signed, Eagle.

Shak fro! Lachi arah!

Ya la ya la la la.

La la la la.

Undu la la.

Dad, these books that the Protocol Department sent me

are filled with the weirdest rules. Listen.

"Never cross your legs in front of an African chief

"because the sole of the shoe is considered an insult."

My God, I'm gonna be more careful.

Oh, God, you wouldn't believe all the rules they've got in this book.

Half of them don't make sense at all.

I don't know how I'm gonna learn all this stuff.

Stop worrying. You're just like your mother.

You'll do okay.

I just hope I don't screw up.

You won't. You won't! I mean, there's so much that I'm supposed to...

Now, before you get on that plane I want to tell you how proud I am of you.

What you did, grabbing that assassin and all.

Gee, Dad, that's the first time you ever told me anything like that.

Well, that's the first time you ever did anything like that.

Excuse me. Hello, Sunny.

I'm Earl Crowe, and I'm real happy you're here.

I'm the deputy chief of Protocol,

but you can call me Earl.

And I'm going to take you in to meet the boss.

Mrs. St. John?

That's right. She's a wild woman, Sunny.

A wild woman. She's tough, but she's fair.

She works 26 hours a day and gives you 200%.

She must be exhausted.

But seriously, Sunny, how is that hip?

Great. That's wonderful.

The other one though, where the bullet went in, still aches a little.

There she is.

This flower is from every one of us.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much.

Sunny, Sunny, Sunny, Sunny.

Sunny.

Do you know what you've done?

What?

You don't have the slightest idea what you've done?

I don't think so. You really don't?

Well, whatever it is, I know that I can fix it,

or clean it up, or...

Oh! She's priceless, priceless!

You brought us together.

And now, I think I have something for you that will please you very much.

This is where I'll be working? Yes.

Oh, and this is my phone.

With your own extension.

Oh, this is very exciting for me, ma'am.

I'm sure it is, dear.

You know, Sunny, you must prepare yourself

for all kinds of new experiences.

I guess so.

You must learn to accept

new sights, new sounds,

new exotic fragrances, so to speak.

Ambassador St. John,

your call to the Austrian council.

You must be exhausted from your trip,

so, I suggest you go home and get some rest.

The limousine will pick you up at 7:00.

What limousine is that, ma'am?

Tonight's reception will be quite formal,

so, wear something...pretty.

Sunny, I think you're going to have

a remarkable future.

Even sooner than you think.

They talk funny.

Funny how?

I don't know. They sound like they're saying things

that they're not really saying but I can't figure out what the hell it is.

Jerry, tell me the truth...

Am I one of those, "Oh, yeah, she's really a lot of fun,

"and she's got a great sense of humor,

"but she's not a very bright" kind of people?

Come on, Sunny, don't be ridiculous.

You're a very bright kind of people.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Sunny, what are you gonna be doing, specifically?

Well, specifically, I don't know,

but whatever it is, I know it will include a lot of new sights

and new exotic fragrances.

Is that your own line of fragrances?

Oh!

John J. Hilley, White House.

Sunny Davis. Pat Hassler.

Sunny Davis.

Sunny, the president asked me to deliver

a personal message to you.

You're kidding. Absolutely not.

He wanted me to tell you

that he's extremely proud that you're with us.

Did the president really say that?

Yes, and he also said that he knows you're ready to do

whatever your country asks of you.

He's got his eye on you, Sunny.

Oh, wow!

Sunny!

Mr. Crowe!

How really interesting you look.

Thank you.

I want you to meet the Belgian ambassador and his wife.

This is Sunny Davis, Your Excellency.

Bravo, Sunny.

Oh, bravo, Your Excellency.

And you too, ma'am.

Why, you sure have a great little country.

That's the girl.

Have you ever been to Belgium?

No, no. No, actually, I haven't been anywhere.

Oh. I mean, outside of this country, I mean.

Well, I was in Canada once, but that doesn't count

'cause it's like attached.

Sunny Davis?

Yes.

Oh, is something wrong?

Should I get my coat?

Oh... Welcome back.

Hi! Oh, gosh, I wanna thank you!

Hey, guys, you know what,

I'm a personal friend of the emir.

Sunny. You scared me!

Sunny, dear.

Have you ever met a wise man?

Personally, you mean?

Yes, personally.

Oh, well, like how wise?

Very, very wise.

Well, have you heard of Babba Nokda Nondo?

He lived in a cave up near Salem,

and he only ate things he could actually pick up off the ground.

That's very... And me and my cousin Madge went up there once

and he was having like this out-of-body experience.

All right! We...

All right.

That's very interesting, dear.

But the point is,

I would like you to meet someone

who's very, very, very important,

the Nawaf Al Kabeer.

Wow.

He's the chief temporal adviser to the emir

on moral and ethical matters.

A man of transcendent spiritual power.

He can see straight into your thoughts.

May I present Miss Sunny Davis.

Well, Mr. Nawaf, this is a real natural high for me.

Bedik salil.

Lethee syahseil kabil.

It means,

"Blessed are the small ones,

"who shall be made large."

Oh, I see. Yeah. I couldn't agree more.

And, you know, I read something...

Al habdul lelah. Al habdul lelah.

What is it? It means, "Praise be to God."

Oh, yes.

Sunny Davis. Sunny Davis.

Yes?

My child, how old are you?

Thirty-two.

Hmm.

Thirty-three.

You see, you have become, through your bravery,

part of the history of my country.

Oh, that's very flattering, but...

Sunny Davis. Sunny Davis.

Yes.

Our children praise your name.

You're kidding! Oh!

Our beloved Emir Khaled Abin Abdul Majid

remembers you in his prayers,

and hopes that until you come to him,

until you are with us...

Wait. Who's coming where?

You will accept, as evidence of his great affection,

this simple gift.

Oh, honest to God, it's not necessary.

This miserable token of his esteem.

How miserable?

Sunny Davis...

Jamil a jeden.

Rolls-Royce.

Please.

Sunny, can you tell us...

We are very, very, very proud of our dear Sunny.

And we remain confident that whatever choices

Sunny makes for her future,

whether it is with us or elsewhere,

that relations between Sunny and the emir

will always reflect the warmth and affection

our two countries have traditionally felt for each other.

Thank you. Sunny?

No. I'd like to say something.

Um, I'd like to say

that I think the emir is really a great guy.

And as for Mr. Al Kabeer and his friends,

well, I've never met a nicer bunch of foreign people.

And that car is just about

the prettiest thing I've ever seen,

and it really gives me a headache to have to tell you that

as a government employee

I will naturally transfer ownership of it

to the General Services Administration,

and include it in a list of foreign gifts to a government official

in the monthly Protocol report,

in accordance with Federal Registry Order 327.

That's crazy. I'd never do that.

The Rolls-Royce will be sent to the Federal Repository

as Miss Davis requested,

where it will be placed under the supervision

of the secretary of transportation

who announced he would take charge of the $119,000 car personally.

No, Your Majesty, it does not mean she turned down your proposal.

Hal dam!

Tiah! Tiah! Ami halla goon vilnon hamma!

How angry would you say he was?

He was cursing in at least four languages.

Let's go over our options.

Well, we could give up this mysterioso stuff

and tell the girl what the situation is.

Throw ourselves on her mercy?

No, appeal to her patriotism.

I don't think so.

I agree, it's too risky.

Large gains demand large risks.

Personally, I think she'll be able to handle herself,

judging from last night's performance.

Well, if you hadn't given her

all those goddamn manuals...

The girl's obviously been doing her homework.

Perhaps, she's not as unintelligent as you seem to think.

Or perhaps we're not as clever as we think we are.

What do you mean "we"?

Now, wait a minute, you have an attitude problem... Oh, come now, gentlemen!

I'm sure she will make the sensible choice when the time comes.

Until then, we just have to keep her busy.

And out of trouble.

Ready, load. Present arms!

Your Majesty, allow me to introduce myself.

Excuse me.

My car broke down.

I welcome you on behalf of the president...

Fire!

Guns! Hit the deck!

Allifih!

I thought we were being attacked! I'm sorry.

♪ Don't stop

♪ My whole world is goin' crazy

♪ I can't fight this

♪ No, babe

♪ Oh, no, baby No

♪ You know, you end up on go... ♪

You said it was a barbecue.

Sunny, let's be absolutely clear about the procedure on this one.

Yes, sir, I think I've got it.

Um, when the limousine stops, I get out on the left side.

Right. Oh, the right side?

No, I mean, correct. It's the left.

The left...

Then I walk around the back, I open the right door to the limo,

I help the ambassador out,

and I present him to Vice President Merck.

Correct.

She's late.

Well, here we are.

Now, left.

Left side. Yeah, this is the left.

Have you lost control of her entirely?

We're training her to be a princess, not court jester!

A few more days, only a few more days.

God knows what she could do in a few more days!

"How do you do, Your Grace?"

"Thank you very much, Baroness."

"I'm honored to meet you, Your Excellency.

"Good night, Knight."

"Good night, Knight"?

Hello?

Yeah, hold on a minute.

Sunny, it's for you.

Oh, thanks. Hello?

Oh, hi, Mr. Crowe.

Yeah, the Queen of Dubai.

Okay. I'll be there. Don't you worry.

Bye.

You know more queens than I do.

Oh, Ben!

Yes. This is the National Archives building.

You know, it holds the Declaration of Independence,

the Constitution, the Bill of Rights.

It's really pretty, isn't it?

Oh, I have the napkins that match your hat.

Isn't that great?

Now, you know, I've never read the Constitution.

This will be fun for all of us, won't it?

And this is where we encase

all of our precious documents.

And this is, um, the Constitution.

Very old.

And this is the Declaration of Independence.

Can you read that?

"We hold these truths to be self-evident,

"that all men are created equal,

"that they are endowed by their creator

"with certain inalienable rights,

"that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

"That to secure these rights,

"governments are instituted among men,

"deriving their just powers

"from the consent of the governed."

Very interesting.

We're real proud of that.

Hey, what's the matter? You're sick?

No, no, no. They just closed the bookstore for the day to take inventory.

Oh, God, that looks good. Could you make me one?

Why, here.

I thought you had some big luncheon.

I did, but it was for some nice Tibetan guy.

But they served food I didn't recognize.

And I swear to God, the main course

was still alive.

Oh, my coat... Did you see anyone famous?

Well, I sat next to a senator who put his hand on my leg, under the table.

Which one? The right one.

No, no, no. Which senator?

I don't know, but you really had to appreciate his energy level.

He was eating and drinking with one hand,

copping a feel with the other.

And talking about fiscal irresponsibility all at the same time.

You know what amazes me? Is how these guys...

I got to go. Is how these guys have time

to run the country when they're so busy.

Going to banquets and openings and receptions all the time.

God, I don't know how they do it.

Yeah, but are you having any fun?

Oh, yeah, fun. God! I'm having a great time.

I mean, it's really very interesting.

I'm making a lot of mistakes, but they don't seem to mind.

I wonder why that is. Maybe they just like you.

Yeah, maybe.

Donna?

Donna!

Hey, Donna! Donna! Could you beep your horn, please?

Hey, Donna!

God. Sunny!

Oh, Sunny.

Oh, God.

Hi, sweetie!

Sunny, what are you doing?

Well... A very special assignment. Can't you tell?

They look awfully like dogs.

Yeah, very important dogs, though.

They belong to some Bulgarian big shot.

Come on, guys, sit down.

Stay. Sheba!

Come on, stay. Stay, babies, stay.

Hi.

Oh, Sunny. God, we really miss you, Sunny.

Oh, God. I miss you guys, too.

You do?

God, everybody's so jealous of you now.

All those, uh, big parties and famous people

and events that shape our lives,

and shit like that.

Oh, I got to go.

Donna, listen, give my love to Lou, will you?

I think he's gonna have to close the club, Sunny.

Are you kidding?

Well, he's losing money every week.

We're all out looking for other jobs.

Oh, that's terrible. Oh, is there anything I can do?

Well, to tell you the truth, I think that Lou was sort of hoping,

what with your new connections and all,

that you might be able to do a little something to help him out.

Listen, Donna. Why don't you get in?

I'll give you a ride and we'll talk about it.

No, it's okay, really. I'm gonna walk.

Come on!

Really, Sunny, I'm not really crazy about dogs.

I know you're not crazy about dogs.

Wait a minute!

Boris!

Simba! Simba!

Where is our dear Sunny?

In the bathroom.

I see. And Mr. Ransome?

In the bathroom.

Oh! Oh!

Better? Oh...

Yeah.

You know, what you should do is

take a very long, very hot shower.

When?

As soon as possible.

Where?

Hey, don't give me a hard time.

Okay.

Listen, do you do necks?

Mmm.

Did you used to do this to your wife?

None of your business.

I'm glad you've got great fingers.

Ow!

Shh. Not so loud.

Yikes. I feel like

I'm in high school or something.

Did you lock the door?

No.

Listen, will you tell me something?

What?

Why did they give me this job?

Because you did something extraordinary.

And?

And they wanted to reward you.

And?

And it's good publicity for them.

Nothing else?

Like what?

I feel like... I don't know, I feel like

they're testing me for something.

You know, uh, if you behave yourself,

I'll give you a real massage someday.

In the meantime, you ought to find a good chiropractor.

And I think you just changed the subject on me.

Sunny, I can't give you advice about your life. I hardly know you.

So get to know me.

Do you always say what you think?

Yeah, it's no big deal. I just never understood why people...

Some people don't say what they think.

Don't you say what you think?

Not always, no.

Too bad.

You know what I read the other day?

The Declaration of Independence.

I mean, the real one. You know, the original, the one in the archives?

Boy, those guys knew how to say what they thought.

Talk about simple. I mean, all that stuff about happiness.

What government talks about happiness anymore?

Sunny dear, are you in there?

Yes, ma'am.

We were concerned.

Well, Mr. Ransome was just giving me an adjustment.

We are about to leave.

And we were talking about the Declaration of Independence.

You did lock it.

What, dear?

I can't hear you, dear.

What did you say?

Are you coming, dear?

Sunny dear, are you coming?

Not quite, ma'am.

He's here on an unofficial visit.

Unofficial?

Officially.

You mean, officially he's here unofficially?

Yes, that's it. That's exactly right.

It's not a state visit. It's not even a ceremonial visit.

It's private.

The emir wants privacy.

And now, Sunny, we want to take you into our confidence.

And I know that we can trust you.

Am I right?

Mr. Hilley, my lips are sealed.

Well, that's good. Because what I have to tell you...

They could slap me around, keep me awake for days at a time...

I don't think that's what... They can hang me upside-down

and throw stuff in my face. Yes, yes, I see.

They could keep me in a dark, cold cell without much food or water.

You're a brave girl.

But what they couldn't do is anything with

electricity or live snakes, because I don't think I can stand...

Sunny!

Yes, sir.

We...

Our government,

the United States of America,

are attempting to negotiate

a complex and highly important agreement with the emir

that will allow us to build

a military base in his country.

Right.

The mission of the Protocol Department

is to see that the emir,

while he is in our country, has a good time.

Well, officially a good time,

or unofficially?

Unofficially, of course.

Got it.

A very good time.

Come on, Lou. Answer the phone.

Lou, it's Sunny.

Listen, I got a great idea.

Your Majesty.

Sunny.

Do you know what that is?

That is your Supreme Court, am I right?

Right. Where your laws are interpreted.

That's right. Do you have that kind of setup where you live?

Not exactly.

Our laws are handed down by Allah, by God.

To whom? To me.

Oh.

Hey! Hey, what's going on?

It's supposed to be a party for a lot of big shots.

Got a call from someone in Protocol.

Said something about a major social event.

Yeah, I got the same call.

She said something about lots of VIPS.

Something like, "Guaranteed very good time,"

or something like that.

Here in this dive?

Hey, didn't Sunny Davis used to work in this joint?

The Sheik of Arabic.

Who the hell's that? Holy shit.

Thank you.

Hey, isn't that Sunny Davis?

Your Highness, I'd like you to meet Lou Fox.

This is a hell of an honor, Your Majesty.

That's all I got to say. It's a hell of an honor.

Thank you very much.

Let's go, let's go.

Over here, Sunny, please.

Hey, do you mind crouching down a little, Your Honor?

That way we get the sign in the picture.

Here he comes!

Girls, show time! Show time! Take your places!

Take your places.

George, you salute.

Girls, flags over your heart.

Now I want you guys to think of this

as like your oasis away from your oasis.

Now, Your Majesty, and you other fellows,

I think you're gonna find we pour some of the most generous drinks in town.

Right this way, Your Majesty.

Hey, by the way, tonight's dinner special

is the baked Virginia ham

with a choice of two vegetables.

Hey, Lou.

What, Sunny? What?

Who are those guys?

It's a little birthday party.

They want me to make 'em a cake made out of raw fish.

Well, happy birthday!

Happy birthday.

Oh, hi, honey!

What's going on in there?

What's... What's this?

Hey. Hey, let's get this!

Hey, guys, guys! Get on this!

Ladies, are you friends of Sunny's?

We're in public relations.

We're all out of camel's milk,

but this is yogurt and 7Up.

Oh. Oh.

Gloria!

Oh. Excuse me.

This place is fabulous!

Hi, honey!

Oh, God, I'm so glad you could come!

Are you kidding?

What does the word "jackpot" mean to you?

You see that little guy over there?

All right, now. Go really easy on him. Okay?

Because he's a wise man,

you know, like a swami or guru.

You know what I'm saying? Okay. Okay.

Hey, isn't that the Nawaf?

Nawaf!

Bobbie!

Charmaine!

Yeah.

What?

Where?

What are you...

Press?

Make a wish. Yes.

Hello! Hi.

This is a swell place, isn't it?

Yes, it is swell.

I used to work here.

I know that.

See that girl over there? Look over there.

See that girl dressed like kind of a chicken?

An emu, I would imagine.

What about her?

Um, well, I used to have to wear that costume a lot when I worked here.

It's pretty silly, isn't it?

You must have looked very beautiful.

More males!

Ben!

Oh, thank you for coming.

Listen, I want you to come see the emir.

He's here!

Just what we need, more men.

Your Majesty, I'd like to introduce you

to Ben Granger and Jerry Jerome.

These are the guys that I live with.

And this is, um...

His...

Highness...

El Emir Khaled Bin Abdul Majid.

Elabig Hamene Hamen Majid.

Just a short while ago, the emir and his entire entourage,

all escorted Sunny Davis inside the Safari Club,

which you see right behind me.

Those limousines are the cars they arrived in.

By the way, the guests continue to arrive.

The kind of guests you wouldn't necessarily...

Whoo!

All right, Lou!

I guess your friends are having a good time. Don't you?

Oh, yes.

Lou! Lou! Lou!

Jimmy!

Whoa!

It's Jimmy!

Jimmy!

Great to see you, but not tonight!

I got a private party over there.

Hey! Jimmy! Jimmy!

Hi, honey!

Come on! I want you to meet somebody!

Oh, banzai!

Hi! Hi, guys! Hi, how are you?

Listen, have you ever met an emir? No.

Have you ever met a biker? No.

Well, Khaled, this is Jimmy.

Jimmy, this is Khaled.

How do you do? How you doing, man?

Yes.

What?

I'm on my way.

Whoa!

Whoo! Whoo!

Whoo!

Ow!

Hi.

Is it difficult for you to leave all this?

This? Oh, no.

I mean, I've made a lot of good friends,

and, well, we've had a lot of good times together,

but, you know, a person has to move on.

Sunny, you could be the mother of kings.

Oh, sure. Queen Sunny, the ex-cocktail waitress.

I'm just lucky I get to meet people like you. That's all.

Just 'cause of that crazy accident.

There are no accidents. Sure, there are.

There is only destiny and character.

Destiny brought you together with me and the man with the gun.

Character, your character brought you the rest of the way.

Uh, no, I don't think so.

Sunny, you and I are more than just an ex-cocktail waitress and an emir.

We are also a man and a woman.

Yeah, I can see that.

You understand what I'm saying?

Yeah. You want to date me.

Emirs do not date.

Uh, Mr. Hilley! Mr. Hilley!

Mr. Hassler, Mr. Hassler,

what is the White House...

Please, not now!

Whoa!

Hey! What can I get for you?

I like that coat.

He likes my coat!

Give it to him. All right.

You got it.

Now give me your coat.

Now remember, it's BYOL. Bring your own leather.

Whip! Whip! Whip! Whip! Whip!

Beat me, whip me... What do you think of that, huh?

I love it! Oh.

What about Sunny Davis?

Mr. Hassler, why is Mr. Ransome here?

I want an explanation! I'm sure it's okay.

Right. Yeah.

Now, what the hell are they doing in there?

Having a good time, I guess.

What? "Having a good time"?

Yes.

Follow Hilley!

Follow Hilley! All right.

♪ You do what you wanna do

♪ You do everything you can Jesus Christ!

♪ You do what you wanna do

♪ Hey, but I love you, Suzanne

♪ You do anything once

♪ You try anything twice

♪ You do what you gotta do

Hey, but I love you, Suzanne

♪ Hey, hey

♪ Do what you wanna do

♪ But I love you, Suzanne

What the hell is this place?

Must be one of those gay Arab biker sushi bars.

♪ Do what you wanna do

♪ Hey, baby, do what you can

Oh, God! That's disgusting!

♪ You do what you wanna do, baby

♪ But I love you, Suzanne

♪ I know you, try anything once, baby

♪ You do what you can

Sunny! What in God's name

are you doing in this tide of human swill?

Why you... Don't...

Oh.

Wait, wait. What's swill?

You're under arrest.

♪ Do what you wanna do

♪ I love you, Suzanne

♪ Hey, hey

Aah!

♪ Do what you wanna do

♪ Hey, you do what you can

♪ You do what you wanna do

♪ Hey, but I love you, Suzanne ♪

Rock 'n' roll!

Let's party!

No! No! No!

Help!

Listen, listen! Hey!

I know we can work this out

just the way the diplomats do.

Help!

Holos! Asteluhu!

Jiharah! Jiharah!

WXED Action Line.

Tonight's WXED hot story.

Tonight's hot story is even hotter than usual.

I'm at the Club Safari

where dozens of dignitaries have been arrested.

Among them, the recently almost-assassinated

Emir of Ohtar and Protocol's Sunny Davis,

a former waitress at this downtown hot spot,

plus high-ranking members of the administration

who apparently had just stopped by the club to use the phone.

More details as they happen.

This is Cheryl Greenberg.

Thank you, Mr. Vice President. That's terrific.

Michael, take them. Yes. Of course.

Sunny! Sunny Davis!

Sunny, thank you.

It was an unforgettable evening.

We won't keep you much longer, dear.

I'm really sorry. You'll have my resignation

as soon as I look up how resignations are written.

We have no intention in asking for your resignation.

You don't? Certainly not.

There will be tactical problems

in dealing with tonight's situation.

Let's go into my office.

Well, I think I'll write a letter to the emir.

Listen to me. We will take care of this matter.

You will not be a part of it.

I won't?

In a few hours,

the emir will fly back to his country.

We want you to go with him.

You're kidding!

You are right now our principal social contact with the emir.

Our relations with him up until this point have been ambivalent.

You can change that.

Gee, I don't know.

I've never been outside the United States.

I mean, do you really think I could...

Sunny, this is a chance for you to perform

a vital service for your country.

Mrs. St. John, does this have anything to do

with that strategic military thing

that Mr. Hilley was talking about yesterday?

Absolutely not.

This has to do with simple trust...

Trust between us,

trust between you and the emir.

You'll be treated like royalty.

You'll stay in a lovely palace.

It will be like living in a beautiful dream...

A beautiful, beautiful dream.

Thank you.

Dear Michael,

I don't know when I'll be able to send this letter,

but I just wanted you to know

how grateful I am for helping me out again.

I know you're going to be

real proud of the job I'm doing.

The people here are certainly friendly,

and they greeted me

like I'm a real princess or something.

I can honestly say that I'm on a sort

of intimate footing with some of them already.

Although, of course, I can't understand

what any of them are talking about.

I haven't actually been outside the palace yet, but as soon as possible,

I plan to contact the American ambassador

for any special instructions.

I think there's some kind of feast tonight.

And then tomorrow we're supposed to go

on a nice camel ride in the desert.

If there's a diplomatic pouch coming this way,

gee, I wouldn't mind if you included

a tuna fish salad sandwich and some lip gloss.

A poem for Sunny.

Ah, Sunny

Golden hair like the desert sun

Eyes the color of the summer sky

Breasts riper than the ripest pomegranates

And loins like the royal storehouse

bursting with the seed of kings

Loins that...

Gatva! Gatva!

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm happy to announce

that a high-ranking delegation will be traveling to Ohtar

to sign an agreement with the emir

for a military base in that country.

Hi. We're back with TV Truth.

Uh, Wendy, would you like to analyze

the video tape for our audience?

Hassler starts the press conference

by announcing that they cut the deal.

So we got our base?

Yeah, but I want your audience to see this. It's coming right up.

Now he's announcing that a sort of contingent of...

Yeah, yeah. But that's not so unusual. Wait, here it is.

We're gonna get him to stay for the wedding, too. Now how about that?

Now, was that a slip or what?

That is some slip. He had no intention of mentioning the wedding.

No, he didn't. He's such a jerk. That's extraordinary.

What wedding?

Dear Mrs. St. John,

they're keeping me real busy here.

And I'm experiencing all sorts of new exotic fragrances.

Tomorrow, I hope to see how the ordinary people live, if I can walk.

Please give my best to Mr. Crowe.

Sincerely, Sunny Davis.

Cover your hair!

She's marrying the emir.

He's so famous.

He's in everything. He's on TV, in People.

He's so cute. And I wish I was her.

Well, she's embarrassed the country, are you kidding?

Embarrassed the country, marrying that guy.

I mean, it's just a thing for the money, right?

I think Sunny Davis represents the kind of American woman

we can all be proud of.

She's real, she's honest...

And she's not going to take any crap from anybody.

Okay, gentlemen, here's a little list that I've made up

of some places I'd like to visit.

Uh, one of them is a hospital, a day-care center,

maybe a farm, an irrigation project,

something like that.

And also, I'd like to see

that military base we're building.

Where is it?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Stop.

I've been set-up, haven't I?

Shall we go back?

I want to talk to you.

Why are you dressed like that?

Because I'm an American. That's why.

What were you going to do, make me a part of your harem,

and tell me about it afterwards?

I don't have a harem. I have some wives.

Wives? You've got some wives?

Aah! Help me!

You've got some wives?

You must have billboards all over town!

Quickly. This way!

Don't you understand? They've not been able to give me sons.

Must have sons.

Oh, this is the 20th century, for God's sakes.

Don't you know anything about chromosomes?

When my country finds out what you tried to do...

When they find out?

Get down!

Why do you think you were sent here?

I don't believe you.

Americans don't do things like that.

Do we? Oh.

Hurry! That way!

Are you all right? Move.

You really know how to fly one of these things?

I am the chief of the Air Force.

That's not what I asked.

Revolution in Ohtar

sparked by the imminent wedding

of the Emir Khaled Abin Abdul Majid

to American Sunny Davis.

Rebel forces overthrew their government.

The Emir and Miss Davis have escaped

and are en route to the United States.

The sudden coup d'etat

came as a shock to most western observers...

This news just in. According to deep background sources

in the State Department,

Sunny Davis had no knowledge

of the emir's wedding plans

which were arranged by our government without her consent,

in exchange for a planned military base

in the emir's country.

We'll have more for you in this report

in just a few minutes from now.

This is Inside Story.

Tonight's inside story,

Sunny Davis, heroine or hustler?

She was queen for a day,

and she claims she didn't even know it.

Her presence started a war

that may affect the world's economy.

Then, rescued from sure death and probable torture,

she learned she was traded for nothing less

than the balance of power in the Middle East.

Or did she know it?

Absolutely not.

We goofed. She didn't know a thing.

You see, we were the marriage brokers.

Our government,

we were trading her off for the base.

We duped her and now we ought to pay for it.

Where is Ohtar? And why should we care?

This tiny emirate might just pull down

an American administration

and send it hurtling into a scandal

that could only be called...

"Sunnygate."

Sex, politics. Politics, sex.

Sunnygate.

Did she or didn't she?

And if she did,

did she do it for her country?

Stay tuned.

Senator Norris! Senator Norris!

Was Sunny Davis traded for a military base?

Was she in on it? People want the facts.

I know, I know.

I got about 30,000 telegrams and letters,

phone messages, all asking the same question.

The answer is, folks, we just don't know.

I'll tell you one thing,

it's gonna be one hell of an investigation, this whole affair.

That I promise you.

Public pressure on the administration

continues to mount in the Sunnygate affair.

Senator Norris has announced hearings to discover the truth

in the allegations that... Yes, sir.

...swapped by administration officials for a military base.

Yes, sir. We're watching it now.

Exactly what did she know

about the connection between that military base

and her engagement to the emir, and when did she know about it?

Marla Gilbert, WXED.

You lied to me.

What we did was we felt for the good of the country.

You lied to me.

I think what Mrs. St. John is saying is that certain decisions

and complex decisions on sensitive issues

have to be made discreetly.

After all, the welfare of the people...

Wait a minute. I'm one of the people, aren't I?

Well, I think the important thing is that we all pull together

so when that congressional committee

starts its hearing tomorrow...

You mean, you wanna tell me what you think I should say, right?

Yes, but only if you're very comfortable with that.

Well, I don't know what I'm gonna say.

I'll tell you this.

I can't wait to find out.

Sunny, we're all in this together.

We, you and I represent the president.

And I'm sure...

Mrs. St. John, you're a very, very misguided person.

And I don't work for you any longer. Sunny...

Going back to waiting on tables, dear?

Goodbye, Mrs. St. John.

You're right, Sunny, look.

Let me go, Mr. Hilley. Look.

I'm going to make one last appeal to you

on behalf of the country.

Mr. Hilley, there are at least four people in this room

who don't speak for my country.

And you're one of them.

Over here, Sunny.

Sunny, were you nothing more than a pawn

in the Ohtar situation?

How did the Protocol Department manipulate you?

Did you allow it or encourage it?

Here she is. What? Oh!

Excuse me, Miss Davis, you may remember me...

I'd like to know exactly...

Miss Davis, how are you going to defend yourself in this hearing?

Is there something that you would like to...

Can you give us a statement, Mrs. St. John?

Has the president given you any instructions?

We have no comment at this time.

Hey, there's Michael Ransome!

Mr. Ransome,

will you expect to testify for the department?

Mr. Ransome is no longer with the department.

Have you been fired, Mr. Ransome?

No, sir. I resigned.

Was it over the Sunnygate affair? Yes.

Well, what else happened?

Just a minute.

Now, look. I'm an expert on Middle Eastern affairs.

I was on my way up, really on my way up in the political racket,

if you know what I mean.

And then, a few weeks ago,

I met this rather extraordinary person

who reminded me that I had forgotten

something real basic, real simple.

That I'd forgotten to say what I think.

So I quit, that's all.

Sunny, is there anything you'd like to say before the hearing?

Yes. He owes me a massage.

Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

I do.

Would you state your name for the record, please?

Sunny Ann Davis.

And what is your present address?

1442 G Street.

And what is your age, please?

Thirty-five.

Senator Norris.

Sunny, when did you first meet the emir?

The night I got shot.

No. I'm sorry.

I didn't actually meet him then.

It was after that. After they gave me

the job at the department of Protocol

and the emir came back.

I see. And the emir came back for...

For me.

No. No.

I meant for how long a period of time.

Oh, it was just a couple of days.

It was unofficial.

An unofficial visit.

Officially, yes.

And what, to the best of your understanding,

were your duties with regard to the emir?

I was supposed to show him a good time.

A good time?

Yes, sir. That's what Mr. Hilley told me.

Mr. Hilley told you to show the emir a good time.

Well, actually the exact words he used were, "A very good time."

And, uh...

How did you interpret this curious directive?

I didn't interpret it. I just did it.

I took the emir and some of his friends

to a party at Lou Fox's Safari Club

where I used to work.

I have to say that I really feel badly about what happened.

I imagine it was the first time Mrs. St. John ever got busted.

Of course, I could be wrong.

Sunny, I'd like to move on to your trip abroad with the emir.

Yes, sir.

Didn't you think it was unusual

for a person like yourself,

who had no practical expertise

to be sent on a mission of such importance?

Yes, sir, I sure did.

But I figured they must know what they were doing

because they're supposed to be the experts.

Sunny, the purpose of this hearing

is to find out who is responsible.

If you give us the name...

No sir, I...

No, sir, I'm sorry. I can't do that.

You can't?

Why not?

Because I'm responsible.

Do you know what my dad says?

He says that if you let a guy sell you a diamond ring for only 10 cents,

the chances are you own a diamond ring not worth a dime.

Well, I bought the whole mine.

I thought I was getting a free ride,

or at least a real cheap one.

And I really have to thank them for that.

I mean, the people who sold it to me, I mean.

Do you want to know something?

Before I started to work for the government,

I'd never read the Constitution.

I didn't even begin to know how things worked. I didn't.

I didn't read the newspaper,

except to look up my horoscope.

And I never read the Declaration of Independence.

But I know they had,

the ones we're talking about, the experts.

They all read it.

They just forgot what it was about.

That it's about "we the people." And that's me.

I'm "we the people."

And you're "we the people".

And all of us,

we're all "we the people." Right?

So when they sell me that 10-cent diamond,

or down the river,

or to some guy who wears a lot of medals,

that means they're selling all of us.

All of "we the people."

And when they...

I mean, when you guys,

when you spend another pile of money

and when you give away or sell all those guns,

and tanks, and planes,

and every time you invite

another foreign big shot to the White House

and hug and kiss them and give them presents,

it has a direct effect on "we the people's" lives.

So if we don't... I mean, If I don't know what you're up to

and if I... If I don't holler and scream

when I think you're doing it wrong,

and if I just mind my own business

and don't vote or care,

then I just get what I deserve.

So now that I'm Sunny Davis, private citizen again,

you're going to have to watch out for me,

'cause I'm gonna be watching all of you like a hawk.

I'm quite sure the good sense of the American people

will allow them to distinguish between

a few trivial and unsupported allegations...

There she is! There's Sunny!

Sunny!

Get off of me, you twit!

How'd I do? Great.

You really think so? Of course.

It's the new me. I always say what I think.

Oh, that's nice, Michael. That's really nice.

You want to know what else I think? What?

If you ever run for office,

I should manage your campaign.

Are you kidding?

What did you say? Are you running for office?

How about running for president?

Sunny Davis for president!

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, please, everybody.

Um... Thank you very much,

but it's really not my style.

Oh, no!

Hey, Sunny, what about Congress?

What about running for Congress, Sunny?

Well, the polls have been closed for about 10 minutes

here in Green Hills, a tiny suburb of Diamond Junction, Oregon,

and it is still impossible to predict a winner in this kind of thing.

Some people are calling tonight's contest

one of the closest races in Congressional history.

Both candidates gained early...

Ladies and gentlemen, the candidate is coming to the podium.

This is sure to be no concession.

Sunny! Sunny! Sunny!

Down.

Listen, I just want to say a couple of things.

First of all, this is not a victory speech,

because we haven't won yet.

Also, it's getting really late, so I want to take this chance...

Incidentally, tonight's election coverage

was brought to you through the courtesy of Schmitter's,

for all your hardware needs.

Corner of Main and Superior, in Diamond Junction.

And no matter what... No matter what happens,

we're still gonna go on together, you and me,

and the best campaign manager in this whole country,

my husband, Michael!

And of course, my very, very good friend

and the best, best baby-sitter

a working woman could ever wish for,

my very good friend, Al Kabeer!

Uh, I have a phone call that some of you may want to hear.

Who is it? Hello?

What?

We won!

We won!

We won!

Wow!