All language subtitles for No Deposit No Return (1976) 720p WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-NTb

[ Children Chattering,
Laughing ]

[ Car Horn Honking ]

BYE, TRACY ! HAVE FUN !
YOU TOO.
WHERE YOU GOING ?

WASHINGTON, D.C.
HOW ABOUT YOU ?

DON'T KNOW. SOMEPLACE.
MOM HASN'T TOLD US YET.
I'LL SEND YOU A CARD !

[ Tracy ]
BYE.

NO SIGN OF MOTHER YET,
TRACY ?

SHE'LL BE HERE,
MRS. HADLEY.
GOOD. GOOD.

I WOULDN'T WANT EASTER TO BE
AS DISAPPOINTING FOR YOU
AS CHRISTMAS.

THAT WASN'T MOTHER'S FAULT,
MRS. HADLEY.

SHE WAS WORKING IN PARIS,
AND THEY RAN INTO COMPLICATIONS.

SO I REMEMBER.

WHEN A PERSON'S
A COMPLETE HEAD OF A MAGAZINE,

A PERSON JUST CAN'T
IGNORE COMPLICATIONS.

OF COURSE. OH,
SPEAKING OF COMPLICATIONS,
WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER ?

HE'S AT HALF-MAST.
I SEE.

HE'S WHERE ?
THERE.

JAY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
UP THERE ?

- I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING.
- JAY OSBORNE, COME DOWN HERE
THIS INSTANT.

I CAN'T.
I LOST DUSTER.
[ Dogs Barking ]

[ Jay ]
NEVER MIND. I FOUND HIM.

MY PETUNIAS ! OH !

JAY, IT'S MOTHER !

MOM--

MISS MURDOCH.

- TRACY.
- WHERE'S MOM ?

THERE'S BEEN
A SLIGHT CHANGE OF PLANS.
IN YOU GO, CHILDREN.

WITHOUT THAT.

OH, HE'S MY FRIEND.
I NEVER GO ANYWHERE
WITHOUT DUSTER.

ALL RIGHT, PUT HIM
IN THE BASKET AND GET IN.

AND ROLL DOWN
ALL THE WINDOWS.

OH, MRS. HADLEY.
GOOD-BYE, TRACY.
HAVE A HAPPY EASTER.

YOU, TOO, MRS. HADLEY,
AND I HAVE AN EASTER PRESENT
FOR YOU.

IT'S A HANDKERCHIEF.
WELL, THANK YOU, TRACY.

- AND I GOT A PRESENT TOO.
- OH, AND THANK YOU, JAY.

AREN'T YOU DEARS ?

BYE.
BYE.

YOU DIDN'T GIVE
ANYTHING DUMB, I HOPE.

HECK, NO.
IT'S ONE OF MY MOST
VALUABLE POSSESSIONS.

- [ Croaking ]
- [ Gasping ]

[ Croaking Continues ]

[ Screaming ]

BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO MOTHER ?
I THOUGHT SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO
GET IN LAST NIGHT.

I'M AFRAID YOUR MOTHER'S
BEEN DETAINED IN HONG KONG
FOR ANOTHER TWO WEEKS.

HONG KONG ?

TWO WEEKS ?
THAT'S OUR WHOLE VACATION.

WELL, NATURALLY, YOUR MOTHER
WAS TERRIBLY DISAPPOINTED.

THIS IS THE THIRD VACATION
IN A ROW.
JAY.

MOM CAN'T HELP IT.
WORK IS WORK.

SO WE SPEND EASTER VACATION
AT HOME. THAT'S NOT SO BAD.

NOT AT HOME, DEAR.
THERE WON'T BE ANYONE THERE.

YOU SEE, IT'S MY VACATION, TOO,
AND I'M OFF TO BERMUDA.

BERMUDA ? YOU'RE TAKING US
TO BERMUDA ?

OH, BOY !

[ Woman Over P.A. ]
T.W.A. FLIGHT 802
NOW BOARDING...

AT GATE THREE
FOR CHICAGO AND LOS ANGELES.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND,
MISS MURDOCH.

WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE ?
SEEING YOU OFF ?
NO, I'M SEEING YOU OFF.

FLIGHT 801 TO LOS ANGELES.

LOS ANGELES ?
WE'RE BEING SHIPPED TO
GRANDFATHER OSBORNE'S AGAIN !

GRANDFATHER OSBORNE'S.
I'D RATHER GO
TO JAIL FIRST.

IT'S ONLY
FOR EASTER VACATION.
SOME VACATION. YUCK.

THANK YOU.
OFF YOU GO NOW.

I'LL SEND YOU
A NICE POSTCARD
FROM BERMUDA.

BERMUDA ? YOU WOULDN'T
LIKE TO EXCHANGE TICKETS,
WOULD YOU, MISS MURDOCH ?

NONSENSE. I'LL BET
BY THE TIME YOU GET
TO LOS ANGELES...

YOU'LL BE AS GLAD
TO SEE YOUR GRANDFATHER
AS HE IS TO SEE YOU.

TRAPPED, JAMESON,
LIKE A RAT IN A CAGE.

WELL, IT'S ONLY
FOR EASTER VACATION,
MR. OSBORNE.

AND IT IS
AN EMERGENCY.
AN EMERGENCY !

AN EMERGENCY IS AN EARTHQUAKE
OR A TORNADO.

MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW'S CHILDREN
ARE A SCIENCE FICTION NIGHTMARE.

OH, PLEASE, PLEASE,
BE VERY, VERY CAREFUL WITH THAT.
IT'S WORTH A FORTUNE.

WELL, PERHAPS
THEY'VE MATURED A BIT
SINCE THEIR LAST VISIT, SIR.

JAMESON, WHEN IT COMES
TO TRACY AND JAY--

[ Whimpering ]

THERE, THERE, SIR WINSTON.
THERE, THERE.

I INTEND TO LEAVE NO PIECE
OF CRYSTAL IN SIGHT.

NO DRESDEN CHINA UNPROTECTED.
UP YOU GO.

[ Chuckles ]
BUT THE CHANDELIER--
IF I MAY, SIR.

HOW COULD THE LITTLE FELLOW
POSSIBLY REACH THE CHANDELIER ?

THE SAME WAY
HE REACHED IT LAST YEAR:
WITH A ROCKET SHIP. UP.

THE LAUNCH WAS PERFECT,
TILL THAT CHANDELIER
GOT IN THE WAY.

AND GRANDFATHER DIDN'T HAVE
TO STEP ON MY ROCKET SHIP
AND CRUNCH IT.

HE JUST DOESN'T
UNDERSTAND KIDS, JAY.

I MEAN, IT'S BEEN SO LONG
SINCE HE'S HAD ANY.

HE HAD US LAST SUMMER.

I TRIED, TRACY.
I REALLY DID.

I EVEN HID MY SKATEBOARD
IN THE CLOSET, SO HE
WOULDN'T HURT HIMSELF.

HOW DID I KNOW
IT WAS THE STAIRWAY
TO THE WINE CELLAR ?

AIRBORNE, JAMESON.
THAT SKATEBOARD
WAS LIKE A B-29.

STRAIGHT DOWN THE STAIRS.
DECIMATED A WHOLE CASE
OF MUTO ROSTIO, 1908.

YES, A LOVELY YEAR, 1908.
LET ME SEE, SIR.

WAS THAT BEFORE
OR AFTER THE ERRANT
BILLIARD BALL EPISODE ?

AFTER, BUT BEFORE
THE BOW AND ARROW INCIDENT.
OH, YES, YES.

I BELIEVE WE STILL HAVE
THAT LARGE FOAM RUBBER CUSHION,
IF NEEDED.

GOOD. AND LET'S MAKE SURE
DR. BUTTERWORTH'S NUMBER
IS HANDY AT ALL TIMES.

EXCUSE ME, MR. OSBORNE.
ANY PLACE SPECIAL
FOR THE GOLF CLUBS ?

OH, YES,
HIDE 'EM IN THE ATTIC.
HIDE 'EM IN THE ATTIC.

OH, GOOD HEAVENS.
ONLY THREE MORE HOURS
TO COUNTDOWN.

THREE HOURS
TILL DOOMSDAY.

DO YOU THINK
SHE'S REALLY UPSET ?

DO I THINK
WHO'S REALLY UPSET ?

WELL, MOTHER, ABOUT NOT
SPENDING EASTER WITH US.

OF COURSE. SHE JUST CAN'T
PICK UP IN THE MIDDLE
OF HER WORK AND LEAVE.

I'LL BET SHE WANTS TO BE WITH US
JUST AS MUCH AS WE WANNA BE
WITH HER.

DO YOU THINK SO ?

SURE. I'LL BET YOU
MOM WANTS TO--

JAY, SUPPOSE WE DIDN'T GO
TO GRANDFATHER'S.

HUH ?

LOOK OUT !

[ Honking ]

SORRY, SIR.
A NEAR MISS.

BERT, BERT,
WILL YOU PLEASE
BE CAREFUL.

ALL WE NEED IS AN ACCIDENT HERE,
AND WE'RE GONNA BLOW
THE WHOLE CAPER.

I MISSED HIM, DUKE.
AIN'T THAT THE MAIN THING,
MISSING HIM ?

[ Crashing ]

YEAH, THAT'S THE MAIN THING,
ALL RIGHT, BERT. YEAH.

NO HARM, NO FOUL !
IT'S OKAY. GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD.

BETTER HE TESTS THEM
ANYWAY.

BERT, HOW LONG ARE WE
GONNA FOLLOW THAT TRUCK
SO CLOSELY ?

UH, JUST WHILE OUR BUMPERS
ARE STUCK TOGETHER.

I'LL HANDLE IT.

- [ Honking ]
- [ Panting ]

[ Engine Starts ]

I'M SORRY, DUKE.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

I GUESS
I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT ?

I GOT THE WHOLE THING:
SWEATY PALMS, BUTTERFLIES
IN THE STOMACH.

MAYBE IT'S THE AIRPORT.
YOU KNOW ME AND FLYING.

BERT, W-W-WILL YOU
JUST RELAX.

YEAH, RIGHT.

AFTER ALL, WE'RE NOT
GOIN' UP IN ANY AIRPLANE.
WE'RE JUST KNOCKIN' OVER A SAFE.

YOU JUST WORRY ABOUT THE SAFE
AND LEAVE EVERYTHING ELSE TO ME.

EVERYTHING'S GONNA GO
JUST GREAT.
YEAH.

[ Woman ] THE WHITE ZONE IS FOR
IMMEDIATE LOADING AND UNLOADING
OF PASSENGERS ONLY. NO PARKING.

[ Tracy ]
OKAY. IF WE GO
DIRECT TO HONOLULU...

AND THEN TO GUAM,

IN 14 HOURS,
WE CAN BE IN HONG KONG.

WITH MOTHER !
RIGHT.

IF SHE CAN'T BRING
HER VACATION TO US,
WE'LL BRING OURS TO HER.

BOY, YOU GOT IT ALL
FIGURED OUT.
EXCEPT FOR ONE SMALL THING.

WHAT ?
WHERE DO WE GET THE $1,200 TO
PAY FOR THE TWO PLANE TICKETS ?

[ Airplane Taking Off ]

HOW ABOUT CREDIT CARDS ?
EVERYBODY USES CREDIT CARDS.

JAY, WE DON'T HAVE
ANY CREDIT CARDS.

OKAY. WELL, THEN, LET'S
JUST WRITE A CHECK AT THE BANK.
LIKE MOTHER ALWAYS DOES.

JAY, YOU HAVE TO HAVE MONEY
IN THE BANK TO BEGIN WITH.

WELL, IF YOU DON'T TAKE
ANY OF MY SUGGESTIONS,
WE'LL NEVER GET TO HONG KONG.

TWO PIECES,
EIGHT INCHES LONG.
ALL RIGHT.

LAST TIME OUT,
YOU CRACKED ONE OF THESE
IN LESS THAN SEVEN MINUTES.

REMEMBER, DUKE ?

GUY GETS A LITTLE RUSTY
AFTER FIVE YEARS.

OH, NO.
NOT YOU, DUKE.
YOU WERE THE BEST.

ALSO THE UNLUCKIEST.

ONE THING THOUGH:
WE NEVER GOT CAUGHT.

WE ALSO NEVER GOT ANYTHING.

EVERY SAFE WE OPENED UP
EITHER CONTAINED
NONNEGOTIABLE BONDS,

LAST YEAR'S LOTTERY TICKETS
OR THE MOUSE TRAP.

REMEMBER THE MOUSE TRAP,
HMM ?

IT WAS EITHER A CASE OF
GOING STRAIGHT OR GOING BROKE.

DON'T THINK
ABOUT IT NOW, DUKE.

JUST CONCENTRATE
ON WHY WE'RE GOING
CROOKED AGAIN.

THE TIME HAS COME, JAMESON.
GO IN. PICK UP THE CHILDREN.
ME, SIR ?

- OF COURSE.
- UNARMED ?

ARMED WITH THE KNOWLEDGE
THAT THE RAISE I HAVE BEEN
PROMISING YOU...

WILL BE FORTHCOMING
IN YOUR NEXT PAYCHECK.

OH, THAT ISN'T NECESSARY, SIR.
THOUGH IT DOES MAKE THE TASK
A BIT EASIER.

[ Woman ]
BE SURE TO CHECK FOR VALUABLES
BEFORE LEAVING THE PLANE.

DUSTER.
DUSTER. DUSTER.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER ?
- DUSTER'S GONE.

[ Chattering ]
DUSTER.

HAS ANYBODY SEEN
A SKUNK ?
[ Chattering Stops ]

EXCUSE ME ?
WHICH GATE WILL
FLIGHT 801 ARRIVE AT ?

801 ?
THAT PROB--
[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming Continues ]

[ Woman ]
GET HIM AWAY FROM ME !

SECURITY !

[ Man ]
RUN ! SKUNK ! SKUNK !

COME ON.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
COME ON.

WHAT HAPPENED ?
THERE WERE TWO OF 'EM
AND A SKUNK.

TWO OF WHAT
AND A SKUNK ?
WHICH WAY
DID THEY GO ?

WE HIT IT. WE HIT IT, DUKE.
IT'S THE GARAGE FREE AND CLEAR.

[ Alarm Ringing ]

WHAT'S THAT MEAN ?
IT MEANS WE JUST WENT
STRAIGHT AGAIN.

FILL THAT BUCKET UP
WITH EVERYTHING YOU CAN.

I LOCKED IT.

YOU LOCKED IT.
[ Ringing Stops ]

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
LEAVE IT.

[ Duke ]
OKAY, NICE AND EASY,
LIKE WE'RE TOURISTS.

HEY. WHAT WERE YOU
DOING IN THERE ?

I DON'T KNOW HOW WE LOST 'EM.
HOW'D THAT LITTLE SKUNK GET
ON BOARD IN THE FIRST PLACE ?

HE GOT ON BOARD
WITH HIS SISTER.

OH. OH,
YOU MEAN THE PET.

NOW, IF I WERE MISS TRACY,

HOW WOULD I GET OUT OF HERE ?

[ Screaming ]

- AH.
- [ Chattering Continues ]

[ Man ] THE WHITE ZONE
IS FOR IMMEDIATE LOADING AND
UNLOADING OF PASSENGERS ONLY.

NO PARKING.
VIOLATERS WILL BE TOWED AWAY.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ?
HIDE DUSTER.

[ Together ]
TAKE OFF, DRIVER !

THIS CAB IS TAKEN.
OF COURSE, IT'S TAKEN.
WE'RE TAKING IT.

AH ! I'M AFRAID
WE'VE LOST THEM, MR. OSBORNE.
I'M AFRAID WE HAVEN'T.

PETER, FOLLOW THAT CAB.

I WONDER
WHAT THEY'RE UP TO.

WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU KIDS ARE GOIN' ?
WE'RE RUNNING AWAY.

- RUNNING AWAY, HUH ?
- [ Sirens Wailing ]

YES,
JUST LIKE YOU ARE.

JUST A MINUTE THERE, YOUNG LADY.
WHO SAYS WE'RE RUNNING AWAY ?
YEAH.

BETCHA THEY WOULD.

THEY'D BE PRETTY INTERESTED
IN SEEING THESE BURGLAR TOOLS.
BURGLAR TOOLS !

I BELIEVE THIS IS
WHAT IS KNOWN AS A JIMMY.
GIVE ME THAT.

AND THIS IS A PICK
FOR LOCKS.
JUST PUT THAT AWAY.

OH, BOY,
A COUPLE OF REAL CROOKS.
WHAT'D YOU GET ?

- SO FAR, JUST A COUPLE OF KIDS.
- AND A SKUNK. A SKUNK !

- IT'S JUST A PET.
- WELL, YOU AND YOUR PET BETTER
GET YOURSELVES ANOTHER RIDE.

[ Sirens Wailing ]
OKAY.

DRIVER, WOULD YOU PLEASE
TURN AROUND AND STOP
THAT POLICE CAR ?

JUST KEEP GOING AHEAD,
DRIVER.

[ Dispatcher
Chattering ]
[ Man ]
SERGEANT TURNER ?

WHAT HAPPENED ?
APPARENTLY
THEY WERE AFTER THE SAFE
IN THE TREASURER'S OFFICE.

OH.
CLEANING LADY SAID
THEY HAD IT OPEN, BUT IT WASN'T
BLOWN OR FORCED OR ANYTHING.

JUST A LITTLE ADHESIVE TAPE
STUCK TO THE DOOR.

ADHESIVE TAPE.
ABOUT THIS FAR
FROM THE DIAL ?
YES, SIR.

RECOGNIZE THE M.O., SIR ?
YEAH, A GUY I'VE BEEN
TRYIN' TO NAIL FOR YEARS.

HOW MUCH DID HE GET ?
APPARENTLY NOTHING.

THAT'S MY MAN.
HE NEVER DID.
I HAD A CASE
LIKE THAT...

IN MY
SOCIO-PSYCHOLOGY COURSE
AT THE ACADEMY.

OH, LONGNECKER--
IT'S THE SADOMASOCHISTIC
PERSONALITY AT WORK.

LONGNECKER.
THIS MAN IS PART OF THE
COMPULSIVE LOSER SYNDROME.

LONGNECKER, THIS GUY
WAS NOT A LOSER.
HE WAS JUST UNLUCKY.

UNTIL HE DISAPPEARED
FIVE YEARS AGO,
HE WAS THE BEST.

AND IF HE'S BACK IN BUSINESS,
WE'D BETTER GET LUCKY
BEFORE HE DOES.

YOU CAN DROP US
RIGHT, UH, HERE.

WELL, KIDS, THIS IS
WHERE WE SAY GOOD-BYE.

IS THIS YOUR HIDEOUT ?
WILL YOU PLEASE--

PAY THE DRIVER, BERT.
OH, SURE, DUKE.
OH, DUKE.

Y-YOU HAVEN'T GOT
ANY LOOSE CHANGE ON YA,
HAVE YA ?

YOU DIDN'T BRING ANY MONEY
WITH YOU ?

WELL, WE HAD THE CAR
WHEN WE LEFT HOME.

BESIDES, I THOUGHT
WE'D BE LOADED BY NOW.
HOW ARE WE GONNA PAY THE CAB ?

- I DON'T KNOW.
- KEEP THE CHANGE, DRIVER.

WHY AREN'T YOU
IN THAT CAB ?
WE CAN USE A HIDEOUT TOO.

NO, NO.
NO CHANCE. NO.

IF YOU'RE RUNNIN' AWAY
FROM HOME, THAT MEANS SOMEBODY'S
GONNA COME LOOKIN' FOR YOU.

WE'VE GOT TROUBLES ENOUGH
OF OUR OWN. NOW, GO ON.
GET OUT OF HERE. SCAT.

SCAT.
OKAY. OKAY.

COME ON, JAY.
WHERE WE GOIN' ?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE-- MAYBE THERE'S A PARK
THAT WE CAN SLEEP IN.

[ Tracy Coughing ]

[ Jay ]
WHAT'S THE MATTER ?
OH, NOTHING.

- IT'S JUST MY ASTHMA.
- ASTHMA ?

YOU KNOW I ALWAYS GET IT
WHEN IT'S COLD AND DAMP
AND LATE AT NIGHT,

AND I HAVE TO SLEEP OUTDOORS.
[ Coughing ]

BUT I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

LET'S GET
SOME OF THESE NEWSPAPERS
OUT OF THE TRASH CAN.

[ Coughing ]
WHAT FOR ?

TO STUFF INSIDE
OF OUR CLOTHING,
SO WE DON'T FREEZE.

[ Coughing ]

[ Whistles ]

JUST...
ONE... NIGHT.

[ Coughs ]

SHALL I RETRIEVE
THEM, SIR ?

[ Sighs ]
THAT MIGHT BE
ONE ALTERNATIVE.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND,
WOULD YOU SAY THE CHILDREN
ARE IN ANY IMMINENT DANGER ?

NO, SIR.

AND MIGHT NOT A LOOK
ON THE SEAMIER SIDE OF LIFE...

HELP THEM TO SHOW MORE RESPECT
FOR THE FINER THINGS ?

OH, I BELIEVE
IT WOULD, SIR.

AND IF WE LEAVE PETER BEHIND
TO KEEP AN EYE ON THEM,

MIGHT NOT THIS BE JUST THE TONIC
TO STRAIGHTEN THOSE CHILDREN UP,
MAKE THEM INTO BETTER CITIZENS ?

INDEED, IT MIGHT, SIR.

THAT'S VERY ASTUTE OF YOU,
JAMESON. YOU CAN EXPECT A BONUS
ALONG WITH YOUR RAISE.

[ Chuckling ]

I GOT THE KEYS.

FIVE GRAND, DUKE.
WHERE WE GONNA GET FIVE GRAND ?

WE'LL GET IT.
WE'LL GET IT.
NOW JUST DON'T PANIC.

YEAH, RIGHT. GOTCHA.
DON'T PANIC.

AFTER ALL,
WE'RE JUST SMALL POTATOES
TO A GUY LIKE BIG JOE.

HE DEALS WITH MILLIONS.
HE PROBABLY FORGOT
ALL ABOUT US.

THEN AGAIN,
HE PROBABLY REMEMBERED.

WOULD YOU BELIEVE
THE DOOR WAS OPEN, DUKE ?

WE KNEW THAT YOU WOULD WANT US
TO MAKE OURSELVES COMFORTABLE.

OH, SURE,
MAKE YOURSELVES COMFORTABLE.
YOU ALREADY HAVE.

[ Chuckling ]

FREDDIE.

HELLO, KIDS.
HELLO, "PUDDY CAT."

[ Chuckling ]
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE
A FAMILY MAN, DUKE.

OH, YES, YES,
OF COURSE, YES.
THIS IS MY NIECE--

AND, UM--
MY NIECE AND NEPHEW
FROM, UH, BUFFALO.

BUFFALO.
BUFFALO !

THAT'S
NEAR SYRACUSE.

BERT, WHY DON'T YOU SEE
IF WE CAN GET SOME PAJAMAS
FOR THE KIDS...

AND TUCK 'EM IN
TO THEIR LITTLE BEDDY-BY.
OH, SURE, SURE.

PSST.

GRAPEVINE TELLS ME THAT,
UH, YOU WERE AT THE AIRPORT
TONIGHT, DUKE.

OH, YEAH,
BUT IT'S MY USUAL LUCK, JOE.
SEE ? NOTHING. NOTHING.

OH, THAT'S TOO BAD.

I MEAN, OUR COMPUTER'S
GONNA BE VERY UNHAPPY
TO HEAR THAT.

COMPUTER ?
YEAH, THAT NOTE IS...
WAY OVERDUE.

AND IT'S A SIZABLE AMOUNT.
WELL, IT WAS $5,000
THE LAST TIME I LOOKED.

YOU HAVEN'T LOOKED
IN A LONG TIME, DUKE.

AND YOU KNOW THOSE COMPUTERS.
CLICKETY-CLICK, CLICKETY-CLICK.

INTEREST, CARRYIN' CHARGES.
INTEREST ON CARRYIN' CHARGES.
CLICKETY-CLICK, CLICKETY-CLICK.

WELL, J-J-JUST HOW MUCH HAS IT
CLICKETY-CLICKED UP TO ?

NINE BIG ONES.

N-NINE--
NINE THOUSAND DOLLARS ?

EVERY MINUTE WE SPEND TALKIN',
IT'S CLICKETY-CLICK
CLICKETY-CLICK.

WOULD YOU--
ISN'T THERE SOME WAY
WE COULD GET AN EXTENSION ?

- AN EXTENSION ?
- AN EXTENSION.

I MEAN, TH-THE GARAGE
CAN MAKE IT.

WE WERE JUST STARTING
TO ROLL...

WHEN THEY TORE UP THE STREETS
OUT HERE AND BLOCKED IT OFF.

STARTED TO BUILD HIGH RISES
ON EACH SIDE OF US.

ISN'T IT A SHAME ?
ISN'T IT A SHAME, FREDDIE ?

IT'S A SHAME, BUT I CAN'T
TELL THAT TO THE COMPUTER.

ME, I'M A PUSHOVER,
BUT THE COMPUTER--

IF PEOPLE DON'T PAY THEIR DEBTS,
THAT COMPUTER GOES TO PIECES.

STICK AROUND, SHADOW.

COME HERE.
I THINK YOU MIGHT BE
INTERESTED IN THIS TOO.

ME ?
[ Chuckling Nervously ]
NO, I'M JUST THE WHEEL MAN.

I JUST DO THE DRIVING.
I'M NOT EVEN VERY GOOD AT THAT.

DUKE JUST KEEPS ME AROUND
BECAUSE I'M HIS
EX-BROTHER-IN-LAW.

SEE, I WAS MARRIED
TO HIS SISTER IRENE.

WE NEVER GOT ALONG THOUGH.
I GOT ALONG BETTER WITH DUKE.

GUESS THAT'S WHY
HE KEEPS ME AROUND.

[ Big Joe ]
GUESS THAT'S WHY
HE LET YOU SIGN THIS NOTE TOO.

YOU'RE BUDDIES, HUH ?
THAT IS YOUR NAME,
ISN'T IT ?

BERT DELANEY ?

WELL, NOW, I'M NOT SURE
IF IT'S EXACTLY THAT.

I-I'D HAVE TO CHECK WITH
MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE. THAT'S
IN HACKENSACK, NEW JERSEY.

I WAS BORN IN HACKENSACK.
WHOLE FAMILY WAS.

MOM AND THE KIDS.

BET YOU'D LOVE TO SEE
YOUR MOM AGAIN,
WOULDN'T YA ?

OH, WELL, POOR MOM.
YOU SEE, SHE'S UP IN, UH--

OH. THAT-- THAT'S WHAT
YOU MEANT, HUH ? YEAH, WELL.
[ Coughs ]

SEVENTY-TWO HOURS,
DUKE.

AND I HOPE YOU DON'T
DISAPPOINT THE COMPUTER.

HOW DO YOU SUPPOSE HE DID THAT
WITH JUST A LITTLE STUB
OF THE PENCIL ?

I'M WONDERIN'
HOW WE'RE GONNA GET $9,000
IN THE NEXT 72 HOURS.

DID YOU HEAR WHAT BIG JOE
SAID TO DUKE ?

ALL I HEARD
WAS PENCILS CRACKING.

BOY, DUKE AND BERT
ARE IN TROUBLE.

YEAH. THIS IS
SOME CHEESY HIDEOUT.

TWO GUYS CAN JUST WALK IN
AND SHOVE 'EM AROUND LIKE THAT.

BOY, IF THIS WAS MY HIDEOUT,
I'D MAKE A FEW CHANGES.

THEY NEED MORE THAN THAT.
THEY NEED MONEY.

EVEN MORE MONEY
THAN WE NEED.
HOW'RE THEY
GONNA GET IT ?

WELL, I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA
OF HOW WE CAN ALL GET IT.

[ Snoring ]
[ Jay ]
DUSTER. DUSTER.

DUSTER.

- WHAT DO YOU WANT, KID ?
- IT'S DUSTER. I LOST HIM.

OH, YEAH ?
I'M SORRY.

[ Screaming ]

I FOUND HIM.

THANK YOU.
MM-HMM.

** [ Humming ]

[ Sniffing ]

BACON ?

UH-UH. THAT'S
GOTTA BE WAFFLES.

AND DO I KNOW WAFFLES.

WHEN I WAS MARRIED TO IRENE,
YOUR SISTER,

SHE DROVE ME BANANAS
WITH HER WAFFLES.

MORNING.
WHAT'S THIS ?

BREAKFAST. I HOPE YOU LIKE
SCRAMBLED EGGS AND BACON.

OH, IT'S BETTER
THAN WAFFLES AND IRENE.
[ Chuckles ]

SOME SURPRISE, HUH, DUKE ?
NOT TO ME, IT ISN'T.

NOW I SAID ONE NIGHT.

NOW, IF YOU THINK
THIS MEAL IS GONNA BUY YOU
SOME EXTRA TIME, YOUNG LADY,

YOU'RE VERY MUCH
MISTAKEN.

OH, NO. BREAKFAST IS
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO COOK.

AND I LIKE TO EAT.
AND SO DO I.

WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE HERE NOW.

WE DIDN'T HAVE
BACON AND EGGS IN THE HOUSE.
YOU'RE QUITE RIGHT.

- I BOUGHT THEM
THE SECOND TIME I WENT OUT.
- THE SECOND TIME ?

WELL, THE FIRST TIME
I WENT OUT LAST NIGHT,
THE MARKET WASN'T OPEN,

SO I JUST MAILED
THE RANSOM NOTE
TO GRANDFATHER.

- YOU DID WHAT ?
- RANSOM NOTE TO GRANDFATHER ?

FOR $100,000.

I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE IT
UNDER THE UMBRELLA TREE
IN WILLIAMS GARDEN.

YOU-YOU-YOU--
HOLD IT. HOLD IT.
DON'T WORRY. HE CAN SPARE IT.

YEAH, HE'S GOT MILLIONS
AND BILLIONS.

- HOLD IT !
- ALL WE NEED IS ENOUGH
FOR TWO TICKETS TO HONG KONG.

YOU CAN HAVE THE REST.
JUST HOLD IT !

THE SQUEEZE MAY BE ON,
BUT IT'S NOT ENOUGH
TO TURN ME...

FROM BEING A SAFECRACKER
INTO A-- INTO A KIDNAPPER.

- NEVER ENOUGH FOR THAT.
- BUT YOU DIDN'T KIDNAP US.
WE KIDNAPPED OURSELVES.

- OH, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
- YEAH. ALTHOUGH COME TO THINK
OF IT, THEY DID, DUKE.

AND YOU DIDN'T SEND
THE RANSOM NOTE.
WE DID.

SHE'S GOT A POINT THERE TOO.
ALL YOU'VE GOTTA DO IS
PICK UP THE MONEY.

THAT SOUNDS
SIMPLE ENOUGH.
SIMPLE ?

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MARBLES ?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE RAP IS
FOR KIDNAPPING ?

HE'S RIGHT, TRACY.

YEAH, BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT
THE RAP IS FOR NOT PAYING
BIG JOE $9,000 ?

SHE'S RIGHT, DUKE.
I'D RATHER LOSE MY MARBLES
THAN BE A BROKEN PENCIL.

OH, YOU WOULD.

- DON'T YOU BELIEVE
IN FATE, DUKE ?
- FATE ?

- WELL, IT WAS FATE THAT PUT US
IN THAT TAXI CAB WITH YOU.
- I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU, TRACY.

MAYBE IT WAS FATE, DUKE.
I MEAN, IT'D BE CRIMINAL
TO GO AGAINST FATE.

THE MONEY WOULD HELP
ALL OF US.
OF COURSE, IT WILL.

COME ON, DUKE.
BE A GOOD GUY
AND KIDNAP US.

K--

GOOD DAY, JAMESON.
GOOD DAY, SIR.

GOOD DAY, SIR WINSTON.

AFTER YOUR BREAKFAST, SIR,
SHALL I BRING THE CAR AROUND...

TO PICK UP MISS TRACY
AND MASTER JAMES ?
[ Winston Whimpering ]

THERE, THERE,
SIR WINSTON.

JAMESON, YOU HAVE A KNACK
FOR RUINING A PERFECTLY
BEAUTIFUL MORNING.

SORRY, SIR.
WILL YOU HAVE SAUSAGES
OR BACON WITH YOUR EGGS ?

NEITHER, THANK YOU.
I'VE LOST MY APPETITE.

YES, I QUITE
UNDERSTAND, SIR.
WHAT'S THIS ?

WELL, IT ARRIVED EARLY
THIS MORNING, SIR.
SPECIAL DELIVERY.

[ Phone Ringing ]

OSBORNE RESIDENCE.
OH, YES, PETER.
JUST A MOMENT.

IT'S PETER, SIR.

MORNING, PETER.
HMM ?

SHE WENT TO THE--
WENT TO THE MAILBOX ?

I CAN'T IMAGINE.

ON THE OTHER HAND,
MAYBE I CAN. I'LL BE
RIGHT BACK TO YOU, PETER.

VERY, UH, INTERESTING
DEVELOPMENT HERE.
WE HAVE A RANSOM NOTE.

RANSOM NOTE ?

YES. "HAVE CHILDREN.
LEAVE $100,000.

BRIEFCASE, UNDER UMBRELLA TREE,
WILLIAMS GARDENS, 4:00.
WE MEAN BUSINESS."

- $100,000. GOOD HEAVENS, SIR.
SHALL I RING UP THE BANK ?
- YOU MISS THE POINT.

OUR LITTLE TRACY
CONCOCTED THIS NONSENSE,

AND SOMEHOW SHE'S CONNED THESE
POOR BENIGHTED GENTLEMEN INTO
GOING ALONG WITH HER IDIOT PLAN.

- [ Whistles ]
- I BEG YOUR PARDON.

OH, EXCUSE ME, SIR.

IF I MAY, SIR.
WHAT IS OUR NEXT MOVE ?

NEXT MOVE ?
WELL, AS THE CHILDREN APPEAR
TO BE IN NO DANGER WHATEVER,

- I SHALL FIRST FINISH
MY BREAKFAST.
- OH.

THEN WE WILL TAKE ADDITIONAL
SUPPLIES OVER TO PETER
FOR HIS PROLONGED VIGIL,

AFTER WHICH I WILL HAVE
A NICE ROUND OF GOLF.

- SOUNDS DELIGHTFUL, SIR.
- ALSO, I'LL HAVE BACON
AND SAUSAGE WITH MY EGGS.

AH. YOUR APPETITE'S
RETURNED, SIR.
QUITE.

[ Clinking ]

[ Sighing ]

[ Clinking Resumes ]

WHAT TIME YOU GOT ?

I JUST TOLD YOU THE TIME
FIVE MINUTES AGO.

OH, RIGHT, YEAH.
IT WAS FIVE TO 12:00 THEN,
SO THAT'D MAKE IT 12:00 NOW.

SO IN FOUR HOURS,
WE PICK UP THE MONEY.

WILL YOU PLEASE
EITHER DRINK THAT
OR PUT IT DOWN ?

OH, YEAH.
I'M SORRY, DUKE.

IRENE ALWAYS USED TO MAKE
A CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE
TO STEADY THE NERVES.

SHE NEVER GAVE ME ANY
THOUGH.

[ Siren Wailing ]
THEY'RE HERE !
IT'S THE COPS !

IT'S FIRE ENGINES,
AND THEY'RE PASSING BY.

[ Exhales ]

[ Chuckling ]
YEAH, RIGHT. I ALWAYS
GET THAT BACKWARDS.

SEE, BACK IN JERSEY,
WHEN YOU HEAR A--
[ Imitating Police Siren ]

IT'S USUALLY
A POLICE CAR.

BUT IF IT'S A--
[ Imitating Ambulance Siren ]
IT'S PROBABLY AN AMBULANCE.

BUT A FIRE ENGINE CAN GO--
[ Imitating Fire Engine ]

OR DING-DING-DING-DING,
DING-DING-DING.

PERSONALLY,
I'D RATHER HEAR THE--
[ Imitating Ambulance Siren ]

BECAUSE THAT--
[ Imitating Fire Siren ]
DING-DING-DING-DING--

BOY, THAT'LL
DRIVE YOU CRAZY.

I'M SORRY, DUKE.
I GUESS I'M JUST
A LITTLE EDGY.

YOU THINK
WE CAN PULL THIS OFF ?

WHO KNOWS ?

MAYBE. IF YOU CAN KEEP
THE KIDS HIDDEN AND,
UH, QUIET TILL 4:00.

OH. THAT SHOULDN'T BE
TOO HARD.

WHERE ARE THEY ?
WELL, THE GIRL, TRACY,
SHE'S IN THE BEDROOM.

AND THE BOY ?
JAY ?

JAY ! J--

OH, I CHECKED ON JAY, TOO, DUKE.
HE JUST WALKED BY
OUTSIDE THE WINDOW.

OUTSIDE THE WINDOW !

JAY OSBORNE,
COME BACK HERE !

GO GET HIM. GO ON.
I'LL GO DOWNSTAIRS.
GO GET HIM.

DUSTER, COME BACK.

HERE, DUSTER.
COME ON, DUSTER.

- JAY. NOW, JAY--
- DUSTER, COME BACK.

- JAY, NOW YOU BE CAREFUL.
YOU HEAR ME, JAY ?
- ** [ Humming ]

[ Sniffing ]
OH.

** [ Resumes ]

YOU MASHER ! I'LL TEACH YOU
TO LOOK IN MY WINDOW !
OW !

I'M SORRY, LADY.
HEEL !

[ Sneezes ]

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING DOWN HERE ?
GET UP THERE !

[ Brush Pounding ]
STOP IT !
WILL YOU STOP THAT !

BE CAREFUL, BERT !

NO !
[ Grunting ]

DUSTER,
YOU COME DOWN HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
UP THERE, JAY ?

DUSTER !

DUSTER. DUSTER.

HOW'D HE GET UP THERE ?

I DON'T KNOW.
DUSTER !

HERE, DUSTER.

DUSTER !

GET BACK HERE !

DUSTER !

DUSTER,
YOU GET BACK HERE !

WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING ?
WELL, I GOTTA GO GET DUSTER.

GET BACK.

COME ON, DUSTER.

COME ON.
NICE SKUNK.

COME ON.

DUSTER, COME HERE !

WELL, GO GET HIM !

NO !
NO, BERT ! NO !
GET BACK !

HOLD ON, DUSTER.

[ Stammering ]

G-G-GET A-- GET A--
GET A CANVAS !

ANYTHING !
A GUNNY SACK !
A POTATO BAG !

HOLD ON, DUSTER.
HE'S COMIN' OUT TO GET YA.

BE CAREFUL.
WHAT ?

[ Screams ]

GET IT IN HERE !
ALL RIGHT,
STRETCH IT TIGHT.

GET IT OUT !
STRETCH IT TIGHT !
STRETCH IT TIGHTER !

THIS WAY !

AH ! AH, AH.

NOW HOLD ON !

HERE !
GRAB MY WRIST.

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting Continues ]

HANG ON !

WHOA !
WHOA !

HEY !

OH, NO !
DON'T !

[ Screaming ]

GET US DOWN !

ARE-ARE YA ALL RIGHT,
KID ?
YEAH, THANKS.

HOLY SMOKE ! A SKUNK !
LET'S GET OUTTA HERE !

DUSTER !
JAY !

DUSTER,
YOU COME BACK HERE !

WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOIN' ?
I GOTTA
GET DUSTER BEFORE HE FALLS OFF.

YOU STAY HERE
AND I'LL-- I'LL--

I'LL GO OUT
AND GET HIM.

[ Jay ]
BE CAREFUL, DUSTER !

BOY, DUSTER.
YOU CAN COME BACK NOW.

WE GOT DUSTER.

OW !

COME ON NOW, FELLA.

COME ON.
SLOW AND EASY.

NO, SON.
COME ON BACK HERE.

GIMME YOUR HAND,
TEX, ROD.

NOW COME ON, FELLA.
EASY NOW. DON'T LOOK DOWN.

NOW COME ON.
COME ON.

JUST ANOTHER STEP.

NOTHIN' TO BE AFRAID OF.
THAT'S IT.

[ Screaming ]

HOLD IT, MISTER.
HEY, MAC, DON'T MOVE.

- BERT, COME BACK !
- HUH ? WHAT'D YOU SAY ?

- GET BACK !
- BERT, DON'T STEP !

DON'T WHAT ?

[ Jay ]
BERT, DON'T !

[ Gasps, Screams ]

BERT ! BERT ?

HOW LONG DID YOU SAY
IT IS UNTIL 4:00 ?

OH, WHAT A HAUL.
A HUNDRED GRAND !

PLUS A COWHIDE BRIEFCASE !

IT DOESN'T FEEL
LIKE A HUNDRED GRAND
TO ME.

MAYBE HE WROTE US
A CHECK.

"HAVING DIFFICULTY
RAISING THE MONEY.
WILL NEED MORE TIME.

PROBABLY UNTIL
AFTER EASTER VACATION.
J.W. OSBORNE."

"HAVING DIFFICULTY
RAISING THE MONEY.

WILL NEED MORE TIME.
PROBABLY UNTIL AFTER
EASTER VACATION."

- THAT GRANDFATHER OF YOURS
HAS GOT SOME SENSE OF HUMOR.
- BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ?
WHY, IT'S VERY SIMPLE.

YOUR GRANDFATHER
ISN'T TAKING US SERIOUSLY.

NOBODY'S TAKING US
SERIOUSLY.

WHAT DO WE DO, DUKE ?
WE GET OURSELVES
OUT OF THIS CAPER,

AND WE SHIP THOSE KIDS BACK
TO THEIR GRANDFATHER,
THAT'S WHAT WE DO.

SHIP THEM BACK ?
YOU MEAN, GIVE UP
THE MONEY ENTIRELY ?

MONEY ? WHAT MONEY ?
DON'T YOU THINK HE'LL COME UP
WITH SOMETHING TO GET 'EM BACK ?

WOULD YOU ?
SO FAR, ALL WE'VE GOT
OUT OF THIS KIDNAPPING...

IS AN I.O.U.
AND A GENUINE
LEATHER BRIEFCASE.

YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT
BIG JOE ?

IF WE DON'T COME UP
WITH WHAT WE OWE HIM,

HE'S LIABLE TO GO
FROM CLICKETY-CLICK
TO BANGETY-BANG.

WE SHOULD JUST TAKE
ONE THING AT A TIME.
NOW FIRST--

[ Tracy ] I DON'T CARE
HOW MUCH YOU POUND ON THAT DOOR.
YOU CAN'T COME IN.

OUR GRANDFATHER
WILL NEVER PAY THAT RANSOM.
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER !

DID YOU LEAVE
THE TV ON UPSTAIRS ?
THAT'S NO TV.

HELP ? HOW CAN I ?
[ Tracy ]
GIVE ME THAT CHAIR OVER THERE.

HOLD ON NOW, JAY !
YOU CAN DO IT !

I CAN'T, TRACY. I CAN'T.
THEY'RE PUSHING TOO HARD.

WHAT'D YOU SAY ? PARDON ME.
THERE'S SO MUCH NOISE
I CAN'T EVEN HEAR YOU.

OH, NO, THERE IT GOES.
THEY JUST BROKE DOWN THE DOOR.

HELP, HELP !
THEY'RE HERE NOW.

THEY'RE COMING IN.

TELL GRANDFATHER--
TELL HIM TO PRAY FOR US.

JUST WHO
WERE YOU TALKING TO ?

- THE POLICE.
- THE POLICE !

NOW THEY'LL TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY.
MIGHT AS WELL WRITE
THAT SECOND RANSOM NOTE.

POLICE'LL BE LOOKIN'
FOR YOU ANYWAY.

THE POLICE ?

I'M BEGINNIN' TO FEEL
MORE LIKE THE KIDNAPPEE
THAN THE KIDNAPPER.

I DON'T FEEL
LIKE EITHER ONE OF THEM...

BECAUSE THERE ISN'T GOING TO BE
A SECOND RANSOM NOTE.
[ Knocking ]

THE POLICE, ALREADY ?

THAT CAN'T BE THE POLICE.
THEY ONLY MOVE THAT FAST
TO TOW AWAY PARKED CARS.

WELL, GO ON.
OPEN THE DOOR.

WHO IS IT ?

IT'S FOR YOU, DUKE.

FOR ME ?

JUST HAPPENED TO BE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,
DUKE.

THOUGHT I'D COME BY
AND GIVE YOU A FRIENDLY
REMINDER: 48 HOURS.

HI, JOE.
BIG JOE.

FORTY-EIGHT HOURS, DUKE.
THE COMPUTER DOESN'T LIKE
TO BE KEPT WAITING.

DOES IT, FREDDIE ?
NO, IT DOESN'T.

HELLO, KID.
HOW'S THE PUDDY CAT ?

PUDDY--
JOE, WE'RE WORKIN'
ON THE MONEY.

I HOPE SO. WE WOULDN'T WANT
THE COMPUTER TO BLOW A FUSE,
WOULD WE, FREDDIE ?

NO, WE WOULDN'T.

BUFFALO, EH ?
WHAT ?

DUKE TELLS ME
YOU'RE FROM BUFFALO.

OH, YES.

YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW
A COUSIN OF MINE BY THE NAME
OF FRANKIE LONGTOOTH ?

NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
THAT'S FUNNY.

FRANKIE LONGTOOTH IS
A VERY PROMINENT CITIZEN
IN BUFFALO.

L-L-LOOK, JOE,
YOU'VE GOT MY WORD
FOR IT.

YOU'LL GET YOUR MONEY,
ALL $9,000.

ELEVEN THOUSAND ?
CLICKETY-CLICK.

FORTY-EIGHT HOURS, DUKE.

I THINK WE'D BETTER MAKE THAT
47 HOURS AND 55 MINUTES.

CLICKETY-CLICK.

SH--
WHAT ARE WE
GONNA DO, DUKE ?

I'LL TELL YA
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
WE'RE GONNA...

WRITE THAT SECOND RANSOM NOTE,
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.

[ Phones Ringing ]

COME ON, HARRY. YOU GUYS
ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEST
CRIME LAB IN THE STATE.

SERGEANT TURNER ?
I KNOW IT'S A TAPE MARK.
WHAT ABOUT IT ? WHAT KIND ?

SERGEANT TURNER ?
SHH. ALL RIGHT.
STAY ON IT, WILL YA ?

SERGEANT TURNER.
I HAVE WAITED FIVE LONG YEARS
FOR THAT GUY TO SURFACE.

IT ISN'T OFTEN A MAN GETS
A SECOND CHANCE LIKE THIS.

I TELL YOU THERE IS NO WAY
HE'S GONNA ESCAPE ME THIS TIME.

THERE MAY BE ONE WAY,
SERGEANT.
HOW ?

WE'RE OFF THE CASE.

OFF ?
OFF.
OFF.

- I GOT A KIDNAPPING FOR YOU.
- WHAT ABOUT THE SAFECRACKER ?

THE CHILDREN OF J.W. OSBORNE.
I WANT YOU AND LONGNECKER
OUT THERE.

BUT MY--
IMMEDIATELY. YOU'RE EXPECTED.
HERE'S THE ADDRESS.

GO.
YES, SIR.

AND MAX, THIS IS
NO PHANTOM SAFECRACKER
YOU'RE PLAYING WITH.

THESE ARE DANGEROUS MEN,
SO PROCEED CAUTIOUSLY.

AND MAX, BE TACTFUL.

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
A NERVOUS, WORRIED GRANDFATHER
ON YOUR HANDS.

[ Clock Ticking ]
[ Dart Hits Board ]

MR. OSBORNE,
THE POLICE ARE HERE
ABOUT TRACY AND JAY.

[ Whimpering ]

THERE, THERE, SIR WINSTON.
THEY HAVEN'T FOUND THEM ALREADY,
HAVE THEY ?

NO, SIR.
OH, THANK GOODNESS.

ONCE THE STRONG ARM OF THE LAW
STARTS MUSCLING US AROUND,
IT'LL BE "DO THIS, DO THAT."

THEY'LL HAVE US PAYING
THAT RANSOM, AND YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.

I DO, SIR. WELL, IT WAS
A SPLENDID LITTLE VACATION
WHILE IT LASTED.

SEND THEM IN.
[ Dart Hits Board ]

THIS WAY, SERGEANT.

MR. OSBORNE,
SERGEANT TURNER HERE.
DETECTIVE LONGNECKER.

GENTLEMEN.
THIS IS A NASTY BUSINESS,
MR. OSBORNE.

WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING
THROUGH, BUT WE DO HAVE A WAY
OF HANDLING THESE THINGS.

NOW, I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA ARGUE
WITH ME, BUT WHAT WE WANT YOU
TO DO IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

- NOTHING.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
IGNORE THE NOTE.

NO CONTACT. NO RANSOM.
NOTHING.

IT'S WHAT WE CALL
OUR "PROJECTED
LOW-PROFILE PROCEDURE."

LONGNECKER. LONGNECKER.
IN OUR KIDNAPPING STUDIES
AT THE ACADEMY, WE FOUND--

WE'LL BE IN TOUCH,
MR. OSBORNE.
MEANTIME, TRY TO RELAX, SIR.

REST ASSURED, MR. OSBORNE.
WE'RE RIGHT ON TOP OF IT.

JAMESON.
[ Sighs ]

NOW THAT THE POLICE ARE
"RIGHT ON TOP OF IT"--
TO COIN A PHRASE--

WE WOULDN'T WANT TO INTERFERE
IN THEIR LITTLE INVESTIGATION,
WOULD WE ?
OH, NO, SIR.

I MEAN, IT WOULD BE POSITIVELY
INSULTING TO TELL THEM WHERE
THE CHILDREN ARE, WOULDN'T IT ?

OH, MOST DEFINITELY, SIR.

YOU'VE JUST EARNED YOURSELF
ANOTHER LITTLE BONUS.

[ Dart Hits Board ]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
OPENING YOUR SAFE.

YOU'RE WHAT ?

JUST ONE MORE TUMBLER
TO GO.

OH, I FIGURED OUT
WHAT EVERYTHING WAS FOR.
IT'S RATHER EASY.

BUT YOU SH--
[ Sighs ]

SURE.
SAFECRACKIN'S A CINCH.

ARE YOU GOING TO MAIL
THE RANSOM NOTE ?

YOU JUST GO ON
PLAYIN' WITH THE SAFE
AND STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

[ TV Blaring ]

DUKE !
ARE YOU FINISHED
PASTING UP THE NOTE ?

A-A-ALMOST.
DUKE, WE'RE ON TV.

[ Man #1 ]
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.
ONE QUESTION AT A TIME.

[ Man #2 ] ALL RIGHT, WITH JUST
A PHONE CALL TO GO ON, HOW DO
YOU EXPECT TO CRACK THE CASE ?

WE'VE ONLY BEEN
ON THE CASE A FEW HOURS.
EASY THERE, FELLA.

WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE
WHAT TOMORROW BRINGS.

[ Woman ] HAVEN'T YOU MADE
THAT "TOMORROW" SPEECH
A FEW OTHER TIMES, SERGEANT ?

[ Chattering ]
TURNER !

...LIKE WITH
THE PHANTOM SAFECRACKER
A FEW YEARS AGO ?

YOU GOT A GOOD MEMORY,
SANDY.

DUKE, IS THAT THE GUY
YOU'VE BEEN GIVIN' THE SLIP TO
ALL THESE YEARS ?

YEAH. I'VE NEVER
SEEN HIM BEFORE.

GOOD THING TV ISN'T TWO-WAY.
HE'D BE LOOKIN' RIGHT AT YA.

WELL, EVENTUALLY
I WILL CATCH THAT SAFECRACKER,
BUT AT THE MOMENT,

THERE ARE TWO KIDS
AND $100,000 AT STAKE.

SEVENTY-FIVE.
I REDUCED IT
FROM 100,000 TO 75.

SORT OF LIKE
A CLEARANCE SALE, HUH ?
ANYTHING TO UNLOAD THOSE KIDS.

[ Chattering Continues,
Stops ]

IF TURNER'S IN THIS KIDNAPPING,
WE GOTTA MOVE FAST.
NOW, WHERE'S THAT NOTE ?

[ Clears Throat ]
YOU'RE KINDA WEARIN' IT.
WHAT ?

[ Stammering ]

WHERE'S THE ENVELOPE ?
I DIDN'T FINISH THE NOTE YET.
I DIDN'T PUT THE DATE ON.

IT'S FINE.
IT'S JUST FINE.

I'LL BE BACK
IN ABOUT AN HOUR.
AN HOUR,
JUST TO MAIL A RANSOM NOTE ?

BUT I DON'T WANNA MAIL IT
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
OH, CAN I GO WITH YA ?

OF COURSE NOT. WITH THE POLICE
LOOKIN' ALL OVER FOR THOSE KIDS,
SOMEBODY'S GOTTA WATCH 'EM.

WHY DO I ALWAYS GET
THE DANGEROUS PART ?

DANGEROUS ? WHAT CAN BE
DANGEROUS ABOUT TAKING CARE
OF A COUPLE OF KIDS ?

HEY, IS THIS
REAL DYNAMITE ?

GIVE ME THAT
AND DON'T THROW-- AH !

WELL, IS IT ?

YOU STAY OUT
OF OUR SUPPLIES.
YOU HEAR ME ?

WELL, DUSTER AND I
HAVE NOTHING TO DO.
WE'RE BORED.

WHEN YOUR SISTER'S THROUGH
PLAYIN' IN THERE,

WHY DON'T YOU GO ON IN
AND TRY OPENING UP MY SAFE
WITH MY TOOLS ?

NO, THANKS.
I'D RATHER USE DYNAMITE.

DUKE, CAN I PLEASE MAIL
THE RANSOM NOTE ?

NO. Y-YOU STAY HERE
AND KEEP 'EM BUSY.

[ Gasps ]

- WELL ?
- WELL, WHAT ?

HE SAID
YOU WERE TO KEEP ME BUSY.

I'LL TELL YA WHAT.
I'LL GIVE YA YOUR CHOICE:
OLD MAID OR GO FISH.

I HATE CARDS.
WHAT THEN ?

I GOT IT. JUDO.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT JUDO.
WELL, I DO.

DUSTER, YOU SIT RIGHT THERE
AND WATCH THIS.

[ Chuckling ]
COME ON, JAY,
THAT WOULDN'T BE FAIR.

A GROWN MAN LIKE ME
AGAINST A LITTLE FELLA
LIKE YOU.

COME ON.
TWO FALLS OUTTA THREE.
[ Chuckling ]

GRAB MY WRIST.

[ Screaming ]
HA-RAH !

YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT JUDO.

WELL, I HAVE A FEELING
I'M GONNA LEARN.

WELL, THE NOTE'S
IN THE MAIL.

[ Groaning ]
HI, DUKE.

DON'T TELL ME.
CHARADES, RIGHT ?

YOU'RE A PRETZEL.
[ Groaning ]
MY FIRST JUDO LESSON.

JUDO ?
OH, BERT.

DUKE, YOU WOULDN'T WANNA
SEND ANOTHER RANSOM NOTE,
WOULD YA ?

AND LOWER IT TO $50,000.
I MEAN, BEFORE JAY COMES BACK
WITH LESSON NUMBER TWO.

BACK ?
BACK FROM WHERE ?

HE WENT OUT TO GET
SOME LINIMENT.

HOW LONG'S HE BEEN GONE ?
[ Stammering ]
CAN YOU SEE MY WATCH ?

YOU MEAN TO SAY, YOU LET
THOSE KIDS GO OUTTA HERE...

WHEN WE'RE THIS CLOSE
TO GETTING THAT COMPUTER
OFF OF OUR BACK ?

[ Spine Cracking ]

I'M LOOKING FOR A MR. DUKE
AND A MR. BERT.

WE HAVE THE CHILDREN
DOWN AT THE STATION.

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK
YOU GENTLEMEN TO COME WITH ME.

WELL, GENTLEMEN,
I'M AFRAID YOU'RE
IN A LITTLE TROUBLE.

B-B-BUT, SERGEANT,
I-IF I COULD JUST EXPLAIN.

YOU'VE BOTH BEEN IDENTIFIED
BY THE YOUNGSTERS.
IT WAS NOT OUR FAULT.

IT WAS THE GIRL'S FAULT.
IT WAS HER IDEA.
THAT'S RIGHT.

DUKE AND I DIDN'T WANT
ANY PART OF THIS.
NO, WE HAD--

IT'S TOO LATE TO BE
THINKIN' ABOUT THAT NOW.
THE LAW'S THE LAW.

OH, SURE, THE LAW'S THE LAW.
I MEAN, AN EYE FOR AN EYE,
A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH.

IF YOU'VE GOT AN ANIMAL,
YOU'VE GOTTA HAVE A LICENSE.

OH, SURE, BUT THERE'S
SUCH A THING AS MERCY...
BERT.

AND A RIGHT TO STAND
BEFORE THE BAR OF JUSTICE
AND SAY--

ANIMAL ? LICENSE ?
ANIMAL LICENSE ?
THAT'S
WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR, RIGHT ?

- CERTAINLY.
- RIGHT !

[ Tracy ]
UNCLE DUKE, UNCLE BERT, HI.

WE LOST DUSTER ON THE WAY HOME,
BUT THEN WE FOUND HIM.

SURE.
WELL, I GUESS THAT ABOUT
WRAPS IT UP, RIGHT ?

NOT QUITE. TWO DOLLARS
FOR THE LICENSE.

TWO DOLLARS.
YES, OF COURSE, CERTAINLY.

[ Murmuring ]

I DON'T--
I HAVEN'T GOT-- OH.

[ Chuckling ]
THERE WE GO.

AND THERE'S A FORM FOR YOU
TO FILL OUT.
FORM.

- DO YOU MIND IF WE TAKE IT HOME
AND FILL IT OUT ?
- SUIT YOURSELF.

- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- I'M GONNA CHECK ON THAT M.O.
RIGHT NOW, SERGEANT TURNER.

ON SECOND THOUGHT, I THINK
I'LL FILL IT OUT RIGHT HERE.

OKAY, BENSON.
TURN 'EM OVER.

I KNOW YOU GUYS
GOT SOME FINGERPRINTS OFF
THAT SAFE AT THE AIRPORT.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE OFF
THAT CASE, YOU OLD BULLDOG.

I'LL BE OFF IT WHEN I SEE
THAT SAFECRACKER BEHIND BARS.
EXCUSE ME.

PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT.
ANYTHING BREAK
ON THE KIDNAPPING ?

NOT YET. WE DON'T HAVE
ANY PICTURES ON 'EM.
ALL WE KNOW IS A COUPLE OF KIDS.

GIRL ABOUT HER AGE,
BOY ABOUT HIS AGE.

PROBABLY IN THE HANDS
OF A COUPLE OF HOODLUMS.

ISN'T THAT TERRIBLE,
UNCLE DUKE AND UNCLE BERT ?

TWO KIDS OUR AGE,
IN THE HANDS OF A COUPLE
OF HOODLUMS.

YEAH, IT'S TERRIBLE.
HERE ARE THE PRINTS.
THEY'RE A LITTLE SMUDGY.

THEY'LL DO.
BELIEVE ME, BENSON.

THOSE KIDNAPPERS
AND THAT SAFECRACKER...

AREN'T SLIPPING
THROUGH MY FINGERS
THIS TIME.

EXCUSE ME.
PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU, SERGEANT.
COME ON, UNCLE BERT.

JAY, YOU GONNA BE OUT
OF THERE SOON ?
IN JUST A MINUTE.

I'M BRUSHING
DUSTER'S TEETH.

BRUSHING A SKUNK'S TEETH.

HEY, WHOSE TOOTHBRUSH
YOU USING ?

NEVER MIND, NEVER MIND.
I DON'T WANNA KNOW.

[ Lock Turning ]
WELL ?

WELL, THE THIRD RANSOM NOTE
IS ON ITS WAY.
THE REST IS UP TO GRANDPA.

[ Laughs ] BOY, AFTER A DAY
LIKE TODAY, I SURE AM GLAD
WE LOWERED IT TO 50 G'S.

AFTER A DAY LIKE TODAY,
I LOWERED IT TO 30.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, THOUGH.
THEY'RE NOT REALLY BAD KIDS
TO HAVE AROUND.

IF YOU'VE GOT
HOSPITALIZATION.
YEAH, RIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?

OH, DO YOU REALIZE
ANYBODY COULD WALK IN HERE--
THE POLICE, BIG JOE.

THE SECURITY HERE
IS LOUSY.

WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST ?
A NEST OF RATTLESNAKES
AT THE FRONT DOOR ?

NOT A BAD IDEA.
I THINK I'LL PUT THAT
ON MY LIST.

LIST ? WHAT LIST ?
WHAT IS THIS ?

I GOT A WHOLE BUNCH
OF THINGS HERE THAT COULD MAKE
THIS PLACE FOOLPROOF.

LIKE IF YOU TAKE A ROPE--
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
TO TAKE A BATH.

OH, I WAS TOO BUSY THINKING.
AND YOU TAKE IT--
OH, YEAH ?

WELL, WE ARE TAKING YOU
TO YOUR GRANDFATHER'S CLEAN.

BUT WE'RE GOING
TO HONG KONG.

WELL, I'VE GOT DINNER.

OR DO I ?
MY NOSE TELLS ME
THIS IS BETTER.

[ Sniffs ] MMM,
THAT SMELLS TERRIFIC.
WHAT IS IT ?

CHILI RELLENO.
MARIA'S SPECIAL RECIPE.
MARIA. THAT YOUR MOTHER ?

UH-UH. OUR MAID.
SHE IS MEXICAN.

MEXICAN, HUH ?

WHAT ARE THESE FUNNY-LOOKING
LITTLE HAMBURGERS HERE ?
SWEDISH MEATBALLS.

SWEDISH ? THAT MARIA
CERTAINLY GOT AROUND.

THEY WERE HILDA'S RECIPE.
HILDA.
THAT-THAT'S ANOTHER MAID ?

UH-HUH.

SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU SPEND
AN AWFUL LOT OF TIME WITH MAIDS.

WELL, MOTHER'S THE HEAD
OF A MAGAZINE.

OH, WELL, I SEE.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

AND, UH, THAT KEEPS HER
VERY BUSY.

YEAH, SU-SURE, SURE.
I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.

I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR
BAKED APPLES WITH CINNAMON.
BAKED APPLES WITH CINNAMON ?

[ Sniffs ] MMM.
[ Smacks Lips ]
THEY'RE MY VERY FAVORITE.

I KNOW.
BERT TOLD ME.

OH, HE DID, DID HE ?
[ Mumbles ]

I'VE BEEN DOING
A LITTLE RESEARCH MYSELF,

AND JAY TELLS ME
THAT YOU ARE A PERFECT
SIZE EIGHT.

IS THAT RIGHT ?

- FOR ME ?
- MM.

I LOVE IT.

AND GREEN'S MY FAVORITE COLOR.
DID JAY TELL YOU THAT TOO ?

NO. JUST A GUESS.

WELL, THAT WAS
A PRETTY LUCKY GUESS,
I GUESS.

[ Splash ]

[ Sloshing Noises ]

IS IT TOO LATE
TO LOWER THAT TO 25,000 ?

I'LL TELL MR. OSBORNE
YOU'RE HERE.

HE'S JUST FINISHING
BREAKFAST.

SLEPT LATE, YOU SEE.
IT'S ALMOST NOON.

GRANDCHILDREN MISSING,
IN THE HANDS OF KIDNAPPERS,
THE OLD MAN SLEEPS TILL NOON.

HE'S A STRANGE ONE,
LONGNECKER.

STRANGE ?
A DISTRAUGHT GRANDFATHER PACING
THE FLOOR HALF THE NIGHT,

FINALLY FALLING, EXHAUSTED,
INTO A FITFUL SLUMBER AT DAWN.

HE HAS TO SLEEP UNTIL NOON.
LONGNECKER.

THE COURAGE OF THE MAN.
JUST YOU WAIT, SERGEANT.

I'LL BET THE OLD GUY COMES IN
SMILING AND CHEERFUL,

COVERING UP,
LIKE THERE WAS NOTHING
ON HIS MIND.

WELL, WELL, WELL,
AND THE TOP OF THE MORNING
TO BOTH OF YOU.

WHAT BRINGS YOU TWO GOOD
GENTLEMEN AROUND SO EARLY ?
THE RANSOM NOTE.

THE RANSOM NOTE ?
THE RANSOM NOTE.

I GAVE IT TO YOU
YESTERDAY.
THE NEW ONE.

YOUR MAN CALLED US ABOUT IT
OVER AN HOUR AGO.
OH, FORGIVE ME.

I-I-I'VE HAD SO MANY LATELY,
I GET MUDDLED.

WE'RE LOSING
OVER 20,000 CELLS A DAY,
YOU KNOW.

WHAT DOES IT SAY ?

OH, WE'LL FIND OUT
WHEN WE GET IT OPEN,
WON'T WE ?

NOW, IF I WAS A BETTING MAN,
I WOULDN'T MIND RISKING
A TEN-SPOT...

THAT THEY'VE COME DOWN
TO, UM, 35,000 BY NOW.

UH-OH, MISSED IT BY FIVE.
THEY'RE DOWN TO 30.

I MUST SAY, YOUR, UH, YOUR
"DO NOTHING" PLAN IS WORKING
JUST BEAUTIFULLY, SERGEANT.

UH, MIND IF I TAKE
THAT NOTE, MR. OSBORNE ?

BY ALL MEANS.
ANYTHING I CAN TO HELP.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW, SIR,
THAT YOU HAVE AN ADMIRER HERE.
LONGNECKER.

FORE.

"4:00, WHARF 33, SAN PEDRO.
BE THERE IN PERSON."

SIR, I'VE BEEN
GIVING THIS CASE
A LOT OF THOUGHT,

AND I HAVE A THEORY,
IF I MAY.

I HAD A COURSE
IN THE LAW OF PROBABILITY
AT THE ACADEMY.

FACT: THE KIDNAPPER
AND THE SAFECRACKER WERE
AT THE AIRPORT...

ON THE VERY SAME NIGHT
AT THE VERY SAME HOUR.

FACT: THEY BOTH DISAPPEARED
AT PRECISELY THE SAME INSTANT.

FACT: NEITHER ONE OF THEM
HAS BEEN SEEN TO THIS MOMENT.

QUERY: COULD THE SAFECRACKER
AND THE KIDNAPPER
BE ONE AND THE SAME PERSON ?

LONGNECKER, A SAFECRACKER
IS A SAFECRACKER,

AND A KIDNAPPER IS A KIDNAPPER,
AND I WISH I COULD SAY THAT
A POLICEMAN WAS A POLICEMAN.

AM I CONFUSING YOU ?

I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
SOME USEFUL INFORMATION
IN SOLVING THE CASE.

I HAVE SOME USEFUL INFORMATION.
OUR "DO NOTHING" PLAN IS ABOUT
TO BECOME A "DO SOMETHING" PLAN.

MOVE !
OH, YEAH.

DO YOU HAVE
THE KEYS, SIR ?

UH-HUH, UH-HUH.

WELL, WHAT TIME
DOES THE 6:30 FLIGHT
GET TO HONOLULU ?

AND THEN WHEN WOULD WE GET
TO HONG KONG ?

I'D LIKE TO MAKE A RESERVATION
FOR TWO-- NANCY ADAMS
AND HER BROTHER, JOHN.

- I THOUGHT
WE WERE GOING, TRACY.
- SHH !

WE CAN'T GIVE OUT OUR REAL NAME
WITH PEOPLE LOOKING FOR US.

WE'LL PAY FOR THE TICKETS
WHEN WE GET THERE, IN CASH.

- WELL, IT'S ALL SET.
- SO THIS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
UP THERE, JAY ?

JUST WORKING ON A COUPLE OF
INVENTIONS THAT'LL PROTECT US.
PROTECT US ?

YEAH, IF ANYBODY GETS IN,
THEY'LL NEVER GET OUT.

OH, YEAH ?

OH, DUKE !
EVERYTHING'S SET.

GOT US SOME GREAT WHEELS.
BO BEESLEY BROUGHT HIS CAR
IN FOR REPAIRS.

OKAY, LET'S--
I CALLED THE AIRLINES,
DUKE.

IF YOU COME BACK
WITH THE MONEY BY 5:00,
WE CAN MAKE THE 6:30 FLIGHT.

YEAH.

WELL, IF WE DON'T GET MOVING,
NOBODY'S GOING TO BE GOING
ANYWHERE. COME ON.

[ Three Knocks On Door ]

COULD THAT POSSIBLY
BE YOU, BIG JOE ?

[ Clicking ]
IT'S HIM.

COMPUTER JUST REMINDED ME, DUKE.
TWO AND A HALF HOURS.
WE'LL HAVE YOUR $11,000--

[ Snapping ]

YOU'LL GET YOUR $13,000
BY THEN, BIG JOE.

THAT'S GOOD, DUKE.

ARE YOU SURE
THAT YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF
MY COUSIN FRANKIE LONGTOOTH ?

NO, SIR.

HMM. MAYBE YOU WOULD KNOW HIM
BY HIS LEGITIMATE NAME.
JOHN SMITH ?

HUH, THAT'S FUNNY.

VERY PROMINENT
IN BUFFALO.

HAVE YOU SEEN
YOUR MOTHER LATELY ?

O-O-OH, NO. NO.
MOM'S UP IN, UH--
[ Clears Throat ]

'MEMBER, I TOLD YOU ?
UH-- [ Clears Throat ]
I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU FORGOT.

I DIDN'T FORGET.
ME AND THE COMPUTER
NEVER FORGET.

UH-UH.

OH, BOY.
ONE OF THESE DAYS.
[ Groaning ]

COME ON. LET'S GO.

NOW, YOU KIDS REMAIN
QUIET AND HIDDEN,

AND DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR
FOR ANYBODY, YOU HEAR ?

I TOLD YOU.
YOU HAVE NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
COME ON.
OH, I GOTTA GET MY JACKET.

I HAVE THE WHOLE APARTMENT
PROTECTED.

OH, SURE.
WELL, IT'S ONE THING
TO KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT JUDO,

BUT IF SOMEBODY
GOES PUSHIN' IN THAT DOOR--

BOY !
IT WORKS GREAT !

BETWEEN YOU AND THE PENCIL,
THAT GRANDFATHER OF YOURS
BETTER BE THERE.

LET'S GO.

[ Door Closing ]

MR. OSBORNE,
THE CHILDREN'S MOTHER'S HERE.

CAROLYN, HERE ?

CAROLYN, MY DEAR.
HOW DID YOU--
HOW DID I FIND OUT ?

I GOT A WIRE IN HONG KONG
FROM THE POLICE.
THAT'S HOW I FOUND OUT.

HAVE YOU HEARD
FROM TRACY AND JAY ?
WELL, UH, NOT EXACTLY,

BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU,
THEY ARE FINE.
THEY'RE FINE.

IN THE HANDS OF KIDNAPPERS,
THEY'RE FINE.

WELL, WE-WE HAVE A--
HAVE A RENDEZVOUS WITH THEM
IN AN HOUR.

THEN WHAT ARE WE STANDING
AROUND HERE FOR ?
IT'S THE POLICE, CAROLYN.

IT'S THE POLICE.
IT'S, UH-- IT'S, UH,
THEIR IDEA.

- THEY'VE BEEN HANDLING THE CASE
BEAUTIFULLY, HAVEN'T THEY ?
- [ Mumbles ]

THEY FEEL THAT IF WE HAND OVER
THE RANSOM, IT WOULD BE BAD
FOR THEIR PLANS.

THEIR PLANS !

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

IT'S FINE TO BE
COLD AND CALCULATING
WHEN YOU'RE THE POLICE,

BUT YOU'RE
THEIR GRANDFATHER !

HOW DID THEY GET KIDNAPPED
IN THE FIRST PLACE ?
IT HAPPENED RATHER SUDDENLY--

THAT MEETING PLACE.
WHERE IS IT ?
I'M GOING THERE.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD IT.
I'LL DRIVE YOU THERE.

WE NEED SOME MONEY.
JAMESON, YOU STAY HERE
IN CASE THE POLICE CALL.

I'LL WAIT IN THE CAR.
PLEASE HURRY.

I BEG YOUR PARDON,
SIR, BUT WOULDN'T IT
BE SIMPLER...

TO CALL PETER AND HAVE HIM
PICK UP THE CHILDREN
RATHER THAN PAY THE RANSOM ?

OF COURSE.

BUT IF MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
EVER DISCOVERED THAT I KNEW
THE WHEREABOUTS OF THE CHILDREN,

IT WOULD HARDLY CEMENT
OUR BUDDING RELATIONSHIP,
WOULD IT ?

OH, YOU DO HAVE
A POINT, SIR.

WOULDN'T YOU SAY IT'S WORTH
10- OR 15,000 JUST TO WATER
THAT FLOWERING FRIENDSHIP ?

I DO INDEED, SIR.

GOOD THINKING, JAMESON.
YOU'VE JUST EARNED YOURSELF--

ANOTHER BONUS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SIR.

[ Creaking ]

THE KIDS
IN DUKE'S APARTMENT !

BUFFALO !

AND ME AND THE COMPUTER
HAD BERT AND DUKE FIGURED
FOR TWO-BIT HOODS.

THEY GOT THE CAPER
OF THE YEAR GOIN'.

"IT IS RUMORED
THAT THE RANSOM DEMAND
IS ALMOST 100,000--"

ONE HUNDRED
THOUSAND DOLLARS.
THAT'S CHICKEN FEED.

THEY ARE TWO-BIT HOODS.
OLD MAN OSBORNES
ARE WORTH MILLIONS.

FREDDIE, I THINK
IT'S TIME FOR THE PROS
TO TAKE OVER.

ANYTHING WRONG, SIR ?
CAN I HELP YOU ?

NO, THANK YOU.
WE'RE ABOUT
TO HELP OURSELVES.

OKAY, THAT'S FINE.
NOW KEEP IT COMING.
KEEP IT COMING.

[ Shouting ]
'SCUSE ME.
WHAT WHARF IS THIS ?

WHARF 32.
THANK YOU.

WHARF 32.

NEXT IS, UH--
WHARF 33.

RIGHT, RIGHT.
I'M SORRY, DUKE.

I GUESS I'M JUST
A LITTLE NERVOUS.

I GOT THE WHOLE THING AGAIN.
SWEATY PALMS, BUTTERFLIES
IN THE STOMACH.

AND WE'RE NOWHERE NEAR
THE AIRPORT.

I BET YOU IT ISN'T
PLANES AT ALL. IT'S JUST
I'M A NERVOUS WRECK.

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT
THEY'RE DRIVING, HENDERSON.

ANYTHING AT ALL THAT APPROACHES
ON FOUR WHEELS, CHECK IN.

[ Henderson On Intercom ]
RIGHT, SIR. DON'T WORRY.
I'M PERCHED LIKE AN EAGLE.

CAN'T MISS A THING
FROM UP HERE. OUT.

OH, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
THIS TRAP, SERGEANT.

OF COURSE, I BORROWED IT
FROM THE OLD
SPIDER-AND-FLY ROUTINE...

WE LEARNED AT THE ACAD--
UH, YOU KNOW THE PLACE
I MEAN.

ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME
THIS LOOKS LIKE J.W. OSBORNE ?

SIR, YOU'RE THE IMAGE.

IT'S RIDICULOUS.
OH, BUT, SIR !

I CAN'T SEE. I CAN'T BREATHE.
AND THERE'S NO ROOM
FOR MY NOSE !

SIR, IT'S A WORK OF ART.
DEPARTMENT FOUR WAS WORKING
ON THIS ALL NIGHT.

NOW, WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GIVE IT A CHANCE TO FIT TO
THE CONTOURS OF YOUR FACE.

HUH. HUH.
YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT DOES FEEL BETTER.
I STILL CAN'T SEE.

BUT I SEEM TO BE ABLE
TO BREATHE EASIER.
AH, HOW'S IT LOOK ?

ARE YOU SURE
I LOOK LIKE J.W. OSBORNE ?

EXACTLY.

[ Muffled ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' ?

IF THIS DOESN'T WORK,
LONGNECKER, I'M BURNING DOWN
THE ACADEMY.

[ Henderson ]
CHARLIE FOUR TO C.Q.
CHARLIE FOUR TO C.Q.

UH, HELLO CHARLIE FOUR.
UH, HELLO. THIS IS C.Q.

HENDERSON HERE. SUSPICIOUS CAR
NOW ENTERING WHARF AREA.

THEY HAVE JUST PASSED
DOCK 32 AND ARE HEADED
FOR YOUR POSITION.

SUSPICIOUS CAR
HEADED FOR OUR POSITION.
I HEARD IT. I HEARD IT.

STAY ALERT.

THIS MUST BE THEM,
SIR.

THERE'S A LITTLE
RED CAR COMIN'.

THERE THEY ARE.

HAVE YOU GOT
THE STOCKING MASKS ?
NO, BUT I GOT THESE.

I'M THE CLOWN, AND YOU'RE
THE BIG, BAD WOLF.

ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE THE CLOWN,
AND I'M THE BIG, BAD WOLF.

THEY'RE HERE, SIR.
THEY'RE HERE.

KEEP TALKING TO ME.
I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING.

THAT, UNLESS I'M MISTAKEN,
IS GRANDPA.

LONGNECKER, I CAN'T SEE
OUT OF THIS THING !

ALL RIGHT.
KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED.

THERE ARE TWO FELLAS, SIR.
ONE OF THEM IS GETTING OUT
RIGHT NOW.

HE'S COM--
HE'S COMING TOWARDS YOU, SIR.

THEY-THEY SEEM
TO BE WEARING MASKS.

YES, SIR, IT'S MASKS
OF THE COMMON HALLOWEEN
VARIETY, SIR.

IT'S ANOTHER LIMOUSINE,
SIR.

YIPE. SIR,
IT'S J.W. OSBORNE.

AFTERNOON,
SERGEANT TURNER.

- THERE'S TWO GRANDFATHERS !
- IT'S A TRAP !

MOVE !

- STOP !
- [ Tires Screeching ]

- LONGNECKER,
THEY'RE GETTING AWAY !
- UH, RED ALERT ! RED ALERT !

THIS IS C.Q.
TO ALL UNITS.
RED ALERT.

- LOOK !
- [ Police Siren Wailing ]

CAROLYN !

WHAT ? WHAT--
WHO ARE YOU ?

I WANT TO EXPLAIN--
COME ON, SERGEANT.

WE'LL GET 'EM.
GET 'EM, YOU DUMMY ?
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN GOT ME.

HOLD THIS.

THAT'S NOT MINE.

WE'RE TAKING YOUR CAR.
LONGNECKER, GET IN !

[ Longnecker ]
CALL THE C.P. AND START
PLAN A.X., PRIORITY FOUR WEST.

- SEAL THE GRIDS AS OUTLINED
IN ORANGE ALERT AND BE SURE--
- GET IN !

YES, SIR.

SERGEANT, SOMETHING I MUST
EXPLAIN--
IT'S A POLICE
MATTER, MR. OSBORNE.

DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL GET HIM.
[ Siren Starts ]

THAT'S WHAT
I'M AFRAID OF.

WHO ARE YOU,
AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?
YOU'VE GOT MY KIDS.

- THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING HERE.
- YOUR KIDS ?
YOU'RE IN HONG KONG.

NO, NO, NO.
THAT'S HER, ALL RIGHT.

SHE AND THE KIDS HAVE BOTH
GOT A WAY OF CLIMBING
INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S CARS.

- WHERE ARE MY CHILDREN ?
- YOUR CHILDREN ARE SAFE,
MRS. OSBORNE.

WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY
FOR US RIGHT NOW.

IF IT'S THE MONEY,
YOU'LL GET IT.
WE'LL PAY THE RANSOM.

MONEY ? WELL, THAT'S TERRIFIC.
EXCEPT MONEY DOESN'T SEEM TO BE
ALL THAT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?
ARE YOU THE KIDNAPPERS
OR AREN'T YOU ?

WELL, SORT OF.

- HENDERSON, DO YOU SEE THEM ?
- I'M LOOKING, SIR.

- THERE THEY ARE.
- WHERE ?

- YOU'VE JUST PASSED 'EM.
- YOU JUST PASSED 'EM.
TURN AROUND.

WHERE'D THEY GO ?

[ Carolyn ]
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.

YOU GRAB A COUPLE OF KIDS,
YOU TERRIFY EVERYBODY, AND
YOU'RE "SORT OF" KIDNAPPERS ?

WELL--
KIDNAPPERS HAVE
RESPONSIBILITY TOO,
YOU KNOW.

RESPONSIBILITY ?
YES, INDEED.

YOU'RE TALKIN'
ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY ? YOU ?

WHAT KIND OF A MOTHER
ARE YOU, ANYWAY ?
YOU RAN ALL OVER THE WORLD.

I MEAN, YOU CAN'T RAISE KIDS
BY LONG DISTANCE, YOU KNOW.

OR BY SCHOOLTEACHERS, OR A MAID,
OR BY A GROUCHY GRANDFATHER.

OR BY A BERT.
THOSE KIDS ARE
A HANDFUL, YOU KNOW.

THERE THEY ARE !

DUCK !

[ Siren Slowing ]

[ Siren Wailing Weakly ]

[ Tires Screeching ]

HENDERSON.
COME IN, HENDERSON.

[ Henderson ]
UH, SERGEANT, DID YOU NOTICE
YOU LOST YOUR TOP ?

NEVER MIND MY TOP !
DID YOU SEE THE RED CAR ?

UH, UH--
THEY'RE TURNIN' IN
AT THE FISH DOCK, SIR.

ALL CARS, ALL CARS,
ANYONE IN THE VICINITY,
BLOCK NORTH END OF FISH DOCKS.

YOUR KIDS WANT ATTENTION AND
AFFECTION, AND THEY'RE GONNA
GET IT FROM ANYBODY THEY CAN.

THAT'S RIGHT, EVEN FROM
A COUPLE OF SO-CALLED,
"SORT OF" KIDNAPPERS.

AND WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW
ABOUT RAISING MY CHILDREN ?

MRS. OSBORNE, WE HAVE JUST
SPENT THREE STRAIGHT DAYS
WITH YOUR KIDS.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU DID THE SAME ?

- THERE THEY ARE !
- GO !

- [ Tires Screeching ]
- LOOK OUT !

[ Siren Approaching ]

NOTIFY ALL UNITS.

ALL UNITS. ALL UNITS.
SUBJECTS HEADING WEST
TO GRID COORDINATE 54.

ALL UNITS. ALL UNITS.

RED CAR HEADING WEST.

[ Siren Continues ]
OH.

WHAT ?

MOVE !

STOP ! BACK UP !
[ Tires Screeching ]

THAT WAY.
THEY WENT THAT WAY.

NO, LOOK !

MOVE !

ALL UNITS. ALL UNITS.
DOES ANYBODY HAVE THEM
IN SIGHT ?

YES, SIR. THEY'RE HEADED
RIGHT FOR MY POSITION.

THEY'RE COMING DOWN PIER 27.
THEY'RE HEADED RIGHT
TOWARDS ME.

GET SOMEBODY
TO HEAD THEM OFF !

CRANE OPERATOR !
CRANE OPERATOR !

WHEN I SAY THE WORDS,
"DROP ME," DROP ME.

DROP ME !

NOT ME !
THE BUCKET !

[ Screams ]

START IT ! START IT !

[ Humming ]

AH.

AAH !

LONGNECKER !

GET US OUTTA HERE !

THERE THEY ARE !

STEP ON IT !

LOOK OUT !

HEY !

COME ON, SIT UP !
AAAH !

[ All Screaming ]

- [ Screaming ]
- [ Crashing Noise ]

[ Tires Screeching ]

[ Creaking, Ascending ]

[ Creaking, Descending ]

[ Creaking,
Ascending And Descending ]

AAH !

THANK YOU, LONGNECKER.

YOU'RE WELCOME, SIR.

KEEP WRITING.

"ONLY THESE ARE
OTHER KIDNAPPERS,

"AND THEY WANT
HALF A MILLION DOLLARS...

OR OUR LIVES."

ALL RIGHT.
READ THAT BACK TO ME.

"DEAR GRANDPA,
WE ARE BEING HELD
BY KIDNAPPERS.

"ONLY THESE ARE
OTHER KIDNAPPERS,

AND THEY WANT
HALF A MILLION DOLLARS
OR OUR LIVES."

VERY GOOD.

P.S.: PLEASE DO IT,
IF YOU LOVE US.

HE'LL NEVER GO
FOR THAT.

WE ARE IN TERRIBLE DANGER.

ALL RIGHT.
SIGN IT.

THAT'S VERY GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON, KIDS.
LET'S GO.

THIS YOUR HAT ?
WHERE'S YOUR PUSSYCAT ?
WHERE WE GOING ?

TAKING YOU
TO A QUIETER PLACE.

WE CAN'T.
WE GOTTA WAIT
FOR DUKE AND BERT.

FORGET DUKE AND BERT.
COME ON.

- [ Grunts ]
- HA-RAH !

[ Big Joe ]
WHOA ! WHOA !

COME ON, JAY.
DUSTER ! DUSTER !

JAY !
I CAN'T FIND DUSTER.

COME ON !
LOOK OUT !

GET THE GIRL !

- HEY !
- YOU JUST STAY RIGHT THERE.
DON'T YOU MOVE.

- OW !
- ALL RIGHT. NOW WHERE
YOU GONNA GO, HUH ?

GOTCHA !

[ Coughing ]

WHA--
WHAT'S GOING ON ?

TRACY ! TRACY !

- FREDDIE !
- BIG JOE !

DUMMY.

THE CHILDREN ARE STILL
UP THERE, MR. OSBORNE.

NEVER CAME OUT
OF THE BUILDING.

WELL, THEY'LL BE WITH US BY
THE TIME MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
GETS HOME.

[ Tracy ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?

JUST SETTING UP
SOME MORE TRAPS
IN CASE BIG JOE HAS FRIENDS.

BRAT !

[ Tracy ]
HEY.
IS IT THEM ?

YES, BUT IT'S
THE WRONG THEM.

[ Jay ]
GRANDFATHER !
IT'S THE OLD DOUBLE CROSS.

DUKE AND BERT ? NEVER.
SOMETHING MUST
HAVE HAPPENED.

YEAH.
GRANDFATHER'S GONNA GET US,
AND WE'LL NEVER GET TO MOTHER.

OH, YES, WE WILL.

DON'T WORRY. IT'S EASY.
JUST GO AHEAD. DUSTER !

WELL, PETER, I SUPPOSE
WE'D BEST GO IN.

PERHAPS THE LITTLE ONES
HAVE CHANGED, SIR.

YES, I HAVE CONSIDERED
THAT POSSIBILITY.

MAYBE I HAVE BEEN
A TRIFLE TOO HARSH.

AFTER ALL, I'VE NOT REALLY
GIVEN THEM A CHANCE.

WHO KNOWS ? THIS MAY BE
THE BEGINNING OF A--
A WHOLE NEW RELATIONSHIP.

GOOD HEAVENS !

MR. OSBORNE !

[ Groans ]

PETER, THIS IS ABSURD.

DUSTER ! DUSTER !

COME ON, JAY.
WE CAN'T.
NOT TILL I FIND DUSTER.

[ Screaming ]

NEVER MIND.
I FOUND HIM.

COME BACK. HEY.
EGG FOOYOUNG WAITING FOR YOU.

HEY, IS THAT YOURS ?

[ Speaking Chinese
Emphatically ]

TOTALED.

A WHOLE POLICE CAR...

COMPLETELY TOTALED.

NOT COMPLETELY, SIR.

COMPLETELY.

DON'T DESPAIR, SERGEANT.
I'VE PICKED UP A LEAD.

LONGNECKER, I--
I HEARD IT
OVER THE CAR RADIO.

LONGNECK--
SOMEBODY SAW TWO KIDS COMING OUT
OF A GARAGE APARTMENT WINDOW.

I HAVE THE ADDRESS
RIGHT HERE.
LONGNECKER !

CAN'T YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN A GENUINE CLUE
AND A CRANK CALL ?

YES, SIR. CLASS IN THE LAW
OF PROBABILITY AT THE ACADEMY--
NO, NO.

LECTURE 10 ON CRANK PHONE CALLS.
ONE PHONE CALL OUT OF 25
MAY CONTAIN A USEFUL CLUE.

NOW, SIR, THE WAY
THAT I SEE IT, WE--

I'M GOING BACK TO THE STATION,
I'M GOING TO CHANGE INTO
SOME DRY CLOTHES,

AND THEN I'M GOING
TO CHECK ON MR. OSBORNE.

THEN I'M GOING
TO TRY TO FORGET--
MIND YOU, TRY TO FORGET--

THAT YOU AND THE ACADEMY
EVER EXISTED.

YES, SIR. I THINK YOU
HAVE A POINT THERE.

[ Car Horn Honking ]

GET OUTTA HERE !
HEY, HEY.
THEY GONE.

KIDS ARE GONE.
YES, PRETTY QUICK.
GONE ?

BUT NOT QUICK ENOUGH.
THAT SKUNK EMPTY OUT
MY WHOLE RESTAURANT.

DID YOU SEE WHICH WAY
THEY WENT ?

- YES, HITCH RIDE
ON ANOTHER CEMENT TRUCK.
- WELL, LET'S GO ! COME ON.

HOW FAR ARE YOU GOING ?
SEPULVEDA BOULEVARD,
HONEY.

DOES THAT HELP YOU ?
IT DOES IF WE CAN GET
A BUS THERE TO MERLIN OAKS.

MERLIN OAKS ?
THAT'S WHERE
GRANDFATHER LIVES.

MR. OSBORNE ?
YES ?

MY NAME IS
BIG JOE ADAMO.
HOW DO YOU DO.

HOW'D YOU DO.
HERE, READ THIS.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, MAN.
I CAN'T READ UPSIDE DOWN.

IT SAYS, "WE WANT
HALF A MILLION DOLLARS,"
MR. OSBORNE.
STRANGE.

I DON'T SEEM
TO BE ABLE TO HEAR
UPSIDE DOWN, EITHER.

MR. OSBORNE ?
LONGNECKER, SIR.
AH, WELCOME ABOARD, LONGNECKER.

THIS--
WHERE IS HE ?

THIS WOULD-BE KIDNAPPER
IS DEMANDING
HALF A MILLION DOLLARS.

AHA !

[ Clears Throat ]

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO REMAIN SILENT !

IF YOU GIVE UP THE RIGHT
TO REMAIN SILENT,

ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN
AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU
IN A COURT OF LAW.

IF CAN OPEN
ONE OF DUKE'S SAFES,
I CAN OPEN THIS ONE.

HEY, SO CAN I.

ESPECIALLY WHEN
IT'S ALREADY OPEN.

GET THE FLASHLIGHT.

DON'T YOU MOVE,
DUSTER.

THERE'S SO MUCH MONEY,
I CAN'T EVEN COUNT IT ALL.

WELL, LET'S NOT COUNT IT.
LET'S JUST TAKE IT.
WE'RE NOT TAKING IT.

WE'RE BORROWING IT.
AND JUST ENOUGH
TO GET US TO HONG KONG.

[ Footsteps Approaching ]

COME ON.

HE'S GONNA SEE US.

[ Door Lock Engaging ]

WORSE THAN THAT.
HE DIDN'T SEE US.

[ Doorbell Ringing ]

HELP ! HELP !
WE'RE STUCK IN HERE !

HELP !
ANYBODY OUT THERE ?
HELP !

[ Doorbell Ringing ]

WELL, GOOD EVENING,
MRS. OSBORNE.
WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN ?

THE CHILDREN ?
TRACY ! JAY !

DIDN'T YOU GET THEM ?
NO, BUT WE TRACED THEM HERE.

WELL, I'M AFRAID
I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM, MADAM.
UH, WHERE'S MR. OSBORNE ?

[ Grunting ]

HELP !

WELL, MAYBE THEY'RE UPSTAIRS.
OH, I DON'T THINK SO,
MADAM.

THEY COULDN'T POSSIBLY
HAVE GOT IN
WITHOUT MY SEEING THEM.

[ Doorbell Ringing ]
THE CHILDREN !

EVENING, JAMESON.

MR. OSBORNE IN ?
OH, I'M AFRAID NOT,
SERGEANT.

BUT THIS IS
THE CHILDREN'S MOTHER.
HOW DO YOU DO, MRS. OSBORNE ?

I'M SERGEANT TURNER.
HOW DO YOU DO,
SERGEANT ?

UM--

HAVEN'T WE MET BEFORE ?
UM, THEY'VE BEEN HELPING ME
LOOK FOR TRACY AND JAY.

I COULD'VE SWORN
I'VE SEEN YOU SOMEWHERE
RECENTLY.

RECENTLY ?
WELL, THAT'S POSSIBLE.
YES, YES. OF COURSE.

WE'RE VERY GOOD FRIENDS
WITH MR.--

- OSBORNE.
- OSBORNE.

WE'VE BEEN
CORRESPONDING WITH HIM
FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW.

[ Sniffing ]

[ Grunting ]

HEY, HELP !
YOU KNOW, SOMEONE'S IN HERE.
HELP, HELP ! WE'RE STUCK.

WE KNOW THAT TRACY AND JAY
HITCHED A RIDE ON A CEMENT TRUCK
AND WERE HEADED THIS WAY.

HOW DID YOU KNOW
THEY WERE YOUR CHILDREN ?

W-WELL, UH,
WE WERE LUCKY ENOUGH
TO GET A CLUE.

I STILL THINK
WE SHOULD LOOK UPSTAIRS.

GOOD IDEA, AND WE'LL GO OUT
AND RETRACE OUR STEPS
ALONG THE ROAD.

RIGHT, RIGHT.
WHO KNOWS ?

THE KIDS MIGHT BE OUT THERE
TRYING TO HITCH A RIDE, AND
WE PASSED THEM IN THE DARK.

WAIT.

I'LL GO WITH YOU.

OH, DON'T YOU WORRY,
MRS. OSBORNE.

I DON'T MEAN TO BOAST, BUT IF
ANYBODY CAN PICK UP THAT SCENT--
[ Dog Whimpering ]

[ Snorts,
Continues Whimpering ]

THAT ISN'T EXACTLY
THE SCENT I MEANT.

A SKUNK !

[ Jameson ]
YES, AND INSIDE THE HOUSE,
MADAM.

[ Gasps ]
THE CHILDREN ARE HERE.

COME ON.

- WHAT'S BEHIND THIS WALL ?
- MR. OSBORNE'S SAFE.

CAN YOU OPEN IT ?
WELL, I CAN OPEN
THE PANEL.

ME ?
UH, YES.

OH, YEAH, YEAH.
IT'S BIG ENOUGH.

THERE'S SOMEBODY
OUT THERE !
IT'S PROBABLY GRANDFATHER.

SO ? WHO CARES ?
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE,
I'D BE GLAD TO SEE HIM.

WE'RE IN HERE.
HELP.
HELP.

IT'S THEM.
THEY'RE IN THERE.
TRACY !

[ Continues Knocking ]
JAY !

TRACY ! JAY !

- [ Duke ] I DON'T THINK THEY
CAN HEAR YOU IN THERE.
- HOW DO WE GET THEM OUT ?

MR. OSBORNE'S
THE ONLY WHO KNOWS
THE COMBINATION.

HOW LONG WILL THE AIR
LAST IN HERE ?

WELL, IT LOOKS
TO BE ABOUT, UH,
72 INCHES HIGH...

BY, UH, SAY ROUGHLY
48 INCHES WIDE.

THESE SAFES ARE USUALLY
30, 36 INCHES DEEP.

- UH, YOU SEEM TO KNOW
QUITE A BIT ABOUT SAFES.
- IT'S JUST A GUESS, SERGEANT.

THE AIR.
HOW LONG WILL IT LAST ?

I'D SAY 20 MINUTES.
PROBABLY LESS.
CERTAINLY NO MORE.

SOMEONE HAS GOT TO
FIND MR. OSBORNE,

GET THE COMBINATION
TO THAT SAFE,
AND QUICKLY.

HAVEN'T YOU HEARD
FROM MR. OSBORNE AT ALL ?

NO, MADAM. HE'S PROBABLY
HUNG UP SOMEWHERE.

I'LL CALL HEADQUARTERS,
HAVE THEM PUT OUT
AN ALL-POINTS BULLETIN.

WHERE'S
THE PHONE ?
HERE, SERGEANT.

THANK YOU.

[ Dialing ]

PUT OUT AN ALL-POINTS BULLETIN
ON A J.W. OSBORNE.
IT'S A HARKNESS.

IT'S OLD, BUT THEY'RE
STILL TOUGH TO OPEN,
EVEN WITH THE TOOLS.

FOR THE BEST,
I'LL GIVE YOU SEVEN-TO-FIVE...

YOU CAN CRACK IT
WELL INSIDE OF 20 MINUTES.

TWENTY MINUTES,
FOLLOWED BY 20 YEARS.

DO YOU THINK
THEY'LL FIND HIM ?
THEY'LL TRY.

WHAT DO WE DO NOW ?
JUST WAIT ?

CAN'T USE THE
EXPLOSIVE, BOYS.

NOT WITH THOSE CHILDREN
IN THERE. IT'S TOO RISKY.

THEN HOW ARE WE GOING
TO GET THEM OUT ?

ONLY ONE MAN I KNOW
COULD OPEN THAT SAFE,

BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE
TO LAY MY HANDS ON HIM.

WELL, WHAT ARE WE, HELPLESS ?
MY CHILDREN ARE IN THERE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
GIVE ME A CHANCE
TO THINK.

I KNOW SOMETHING
ABOUT SAFES.

I USED TO WORK
FOR A SAFE COMPANY.

MAYBE I CAN TAKE
A CRACK AT OPENING THAT,

IF IT'S ALL RIGHT
WITH YOU, SERGEANT.

BOY, IT SURE IS HOT
IN HERE.

WHAT'S TAKING GRANDFATHER
SO LONG ?

I DON'T KNOW, JAY.

BUT THINK POSITIVELY.

I'LL, UH--
I'LL OPEN A WINDOW.

- I'LL DO IT, SERGEANT.
- I CAN'T HEAR IT.
THERE'S TOO MUCH OIL.

HERE'S SOMETHING
INTERESTING.

IT'S LIKE A DOCTOR'S BAG
OR SOMETHING.

MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING
IN HERE THAT'S USEFUL
IN OPENING A SAFE.

YEAH, MAYBE THERE IS,
SERGEANT.

[ Sighs ]

BOY, THERE ISN'T
MUCH AIR IN HERE.

[ Buzzing ]

I'M GETTING STATIC.

WE'LL GIVE IT
A TRY, ANYWAY.

I'M AWFUL TIRED.

[ Yawns ]

TRY TO STAY AWAKE,
JAY.

[ Faint Click ]

THAT'S THE FIRST ONE.

I CAN HARDLY BREATHE.

IF GRANDFATHER EVER
GETS US OUT OF HERE,

I'M GONNA BE
A LOT NICER TO HIM.

[ Faint Click ]

OKAY, THAT'S
THE SECOND ONE.

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT,
DUKE.

NOT WITH THIS ONE.
IT JUST SHORTED OUT
COMPLETELY.

CAN IT BE FIXED ?

THERE'S NO TIME.

NOW, BE QUIET.
DON'T BREATHE.
DON'T EVEN MOVE A MUSCLE.

[ Inhaling ]

[ Exhaling Loudly ]
I'M SORRY.

I THINK I'VE GOT IT,
BUT I'M NOT SURE.

[ Gasping ]
DUKE !

YOU DID IT !
[ All ]
YEA !

MOM !

OH, DARLING.
MOM !

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?
- [ Carolyn ] I SHOULD HAVE
BEEN HERE ALL THE TIME.

WE REALLY MISSED YOU, MOM.

BOY, THIS IS
THE BEST VACATION
I'VE EVER HAD.

DUSTER !

DUSTER. DUSTER DID IT.
DUSTER SAVED OUR LIVES.

[ Laughs ]
YES. WELL,
GOOD FOR DUSTER.

YOU KNOW, MOM, HE'S
THE NEATEST PET I'VE EVER HAD.
COME ON, DUSTER.

SERGEANT.

YEAH.

I WANNA COMPLIMENT YOU
ON YOUR SKILL.

I SAID THERE WAS ONLY
ONE MAN I COULD THINK OF
WHO COULD OPEN THAT SAFE.

- YEP.
- APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG.

THERE ARE TWO.

ANYWAY, I UNDERSTAND
THE OTHER GENTLEMAN
IS RETIRED.

OH, YES,
AS A MATTER OF FACT.

IF IT'S THE SAME MAN
I'M THINKING OF,
UH, YES, HE HAS RETIRED.

PERMANENTLY.

[ Sighs ]

[ Laughing ]
NO, DAVE, LISTEN, I ASSURE YOU,
MY DECISION IS FINAL.

AS SOON AS THE KIDS
ARE OUT OF SCHOOL,
WE'RE ALL MOVING OUT HERE.

I SURE WISH I HAD
THE GRASS-CUTTING
CONCESSION HERE.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE
I'LL TAKE UP GARDENING.

YOU KNOW, OUT IN THE FRESH AIR,
CLOSE TO THE SOIL.
IT'S GOOD FOR THE NERVES.

YEAH.
[ Sneezes ]

IT'S TERRIFIC
FOR YOUR HAY FEVER TOO.
[ Laughs ]

AS SOON AS GRANDFATHER
GIVES YOU YOUR LOAN,
YOU'LL HAVE A NEW GARAGE.

YEAH, WELL, UH, TRACY,
I BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT,

AND, UH, I'D FEEL
KINDA FUNNY ABOUT ASKING
YOUR GRANDFATHER FOR A LOAN.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
I ALREADY HAVE.

YOU DID ?
A-AND HE OKAYED IT ?

WHY NOT ? JAY AND I
ARE GETTING ALONG GREAT
WITH HIM THESE DAYS.

[ Crash ]
[ Tracy ]
UH-OH.

WELL, THERE GOES THE GARAGE.
[ Sniffs ]

OH, BOY.

WELL, YOU BLEW IT AGAIN,
JAY.
I DIDN'T BLOW IT.
HE DID.

OH, GOOD HEAVENS.

I WAS CERTAIN I'D FIGURED OUT
THE PERFECT TRAJECTORY.
YOU, SIR ?

DON'T PANIC, JAMESON.
IT'S JUST ONE MORE
CRYSTAL CHANDELIER.

I TOLD DUKE AND BERT
YOU SAID "OKAY"
ABOUT THE LOAN, GRANDFATHER.

OH, YES. RIGHT, FINE.
NOW, LET'S SEE, WHAT IS
THE NEXT THING ON THE AGENDA ?

AH, JUDO.
UH, MR. OSBORNE.

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH
WE APPRECIATE THAT LOAN.

BUT IT HAS GOT TO BE
ON A STRICTLY NONPERSONAL
BASIS.

OH, I DO AGREE.
IT SHOULD BE A NOTE.
LEGALLY CORRECT, DULY SIGNED.

SO THERE CAN BE
NO MISUNDERSTANDING.
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

RIGHT. NOW, WHAT SHOULD
THAT RATE OF INTEREST BE ?
[ Pencil Snaps ]

UH, YOU DON'T HAPPEN
TO HAVE ANY RELATIVES
IN BUFFALO, DO YOU ?

NOT THAT I CAN RECALL,
NO.

NOW, YOU TWO GENTLEMEN DROP BY
THE BANK IN THE MORNING AND
WE'LL WRAP THE WHOLE THING UP.

COME ALONG, JAY.
JUDO TIME.

- I-I'LL BE CAREFUL, GRANDPA.
- I HOPE JAY DOESN'T GET
CARRIED AWAY.

I HOPE YOUR GRANDFATHER
DOESN'T GET CARRIED AWAY.
[ Snorts ]

[ Laughs ]
YEAH. OH, YEAH.

I THINK I'M GONNA LIKE THE IDEA
OF THIS FAMILY OF YOURS
LIVING OUT HERE.

SO AM I.

[ Tracy ]
IT'LL BE VERY CONVENIENT.

FOR INSTANCE, IF SOMEBODY
WANTED TO TAKE SOMEBODY ELSE
TO THE MOVIES,

THEN BERT COULD STAY HERE
AND BABY-SIT US.
HUH ?

[ Muttering ]
[ Jay ]
HA-RAH !

[ Splash ]
[ Tracy ]
I THINK JAY WON ANOTHER MATCH.

I'LL GET DR. BUTTERWORTH
ON THE TELEPHONE.

[ Jay Groans ]
THERE WE ARE.

JAY !

OH. OH, BOY.
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN IT, TRACY.

ONE SECOND I HAD GRANDFATHER
IN A WRISTLOCK, AND THE NEXT
SECOND I WAS IN THE POND.

SEE, IT'S ALL
IN THE BALANCE, MY BOY.
I DIDN'T HURT YOU, I TRUST ?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.
YOU KNOW, I USED TO BE A JUDO
CHAMPION IN THE ARMED SERVICE.

A REAL CHAMPION ?
A REAL CHAMPION.

BOY, I THINK
YOU'RE SUPER, GRANDPA.

JAMESON, DO YOU HEAR THAT ?
JAY THINKS I'M SUPER.

I THINK YOU'RE SUPER TOO,
GRANDFATHER.
OH, THANK YOU, DARLING.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING ? I THINK
FROM NOW ON, WE THREE ARE GOING
TO HAVE A LOT OF FUN TOGETHER.

I THINK SO TOO.
ME TOO.

AND WHAT DID YOU DO
AFTER I HAD YOU
IN THAT WRISTLOCK ?

COME DOWN TO THE MAT,
AND I'LL SHOW YOU.

I'M BIGGER THAN YOU,
SO USE MY WEIGHT
TO HELP YOURSELF.

NOW, HOLD MY WRIST THERE.
THE OTHER HAND.

NOW, BEND YOUR KNEES.
ONE, TWO--

NO, WAIT A MINUTE. ONE, TWO.
NOW, YOU STAND THERE.

IMAGINE THAT I GO,
"WHOO."

NOW WE'RE EVEN.