Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,833
(upbeat rock music)
2
00:00:00,833 --> 00:00:03,009
♫ Walked away from anyone
3
00:00:03,009 --> 00:00:06,524
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
4
00:00:06,524 --> 00:00:09,340
♫ Walked away from anyone
5
00:00:09,340 --> 00:00:12,619
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
6
00:00:12,619 --> 00:00:16,786
♫ There was just enough
to get the ball away
7
00:00:19,555 --> 00:00:21,198
♫ Oo
8
00:00:21,198 --> 00:00:23,448
♫ Oo oo oo
9
00:00:25,383 --> 00:00:28,295
♫ Oo oo oo
10
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,545
♫ Oo oo oo
11
00:00:31,715 --> 00:00:34,751
- Wednesday's mathematics
test is without question
12
00:00:34,751 --> 00:00:38,151
the defining moment of
your school careers.
13
00:00:38,151 --> 00:00:40,171
- [Lockie Voiceover] Okay,
so this is interesting.
14
00:00:40,171 --> 00:00:43,841
What we're seeing here is
my last moment of sanity.
15
00:00:43,841 --> 00:00:46,924
- Some of you, girls, nirvana awaits,
16
00:00:47,883 --> 00:00:49,981
the land of milk and honey.
17
00:00:49,981 --> 00:00:53,027
I refer, of course, to Miss
Lovett's Opportunity Class
18
00:00:53,027 --> 00:00:55,421
for Gifted High Achievers.
19
00:00:55,421 --> 00:00:57,270
- [Lockie Voiceover]
Okay, start the clock.
20
00:00:57,270 --> 00:00:58,793
- As for the rest,
21
00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:02,031
I'm now referring to the
lower forms of pond life
22
00:01:02,031 --> 00:01:05,681
who I fully expect to
fail Wednesday's test,
23
00:01:05,681 --> 00:01:09,681
Mr. Leonard, why is my
eye drawn so compellingly
24
00:01:10,852 --> 00:01:12,941
in your direction?
25
00:01:12,941 --> 00:01:13,774
- [Lockie Voiceover] Here it comes,
26
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:16,513
watch Lockie's mouth pipe
comfy with his brain.
27
00:01:16,513 --> 00:01:18,890
- Where do you sit on this?
28
00:01:18,890 --> 00:01:22,856
- Um, usually sir, I
prefer to sit on a chair.
29
00:01:22,856 --> 00:01:25,856
(students laughing)
30
00:01:27,389 --> 00:01:29,581
- Leonard, you must
think me a very foolish
31
00:01:29,581 --> 00:01:31,191
all maths teacher indeed.
32
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:35,064
- Yes, that's right sir,
matter of fact, I do.
33
00:01:35,064 --> 00:01:39,987
(siren blares)
(students cheering)
34
00:01:39,987 --> 00:01:41,528
See, I'm my own worst enemy.
35
00:01:41,528 --> 00:01:43,562
But old Squash was being really sarcastic,
36
00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:45,562
and Sarge hates sarcasm.
37
00:01:46,590 --> 00:01:49,098
I was defending his ideals.
38
00:01:49,098 --> 00:01:53,222
- There is a crime wave of
the most deplorable kind
39
00:01:53,222 --> 00:01:55,850
on the streets of Angelus.
40
00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:58,145
And I give you fair warning.
41
00:01:58,145 --> 00:02:00,652
I intend to come down like the
proverbial tonne of bricks.
42
00:02:00,652 --> 00:02:01,683
- Wow.
43
00:02:01,683 --> 00:02:04,015
- Wow indeed, Lisa.
44
00:02:04,015 --> 00:02:07,581
This festering sore
needs to be stamped on,
45
00:02:07,581 --> 00:02:09,234
and stamped on hard.
46
00:02:09,234 --> 00:02:10,943
- [Snowy] Sorry, what does?
47
00:02:10,943 --> 00:02:13,303
- Something you've
suffered personally, Snowy.
48
00:02:13,303 --> 00:02:14,761
- Flatulence!
49
00:02:14,761 --> 00:02:18,678
Oh I'm sorry everybody-
- No, no, it's not what-
50
00:02:19,628 --> 00:02:24,354
I intend to launch a
crackdown on the social evil
51
00:02:24,354 --> 00:02:28,406
known as sarcasm.
(kettle whistling)
52
00:02:28,406 --> 00:02:30,580
The practise of taking the deeds and words
53
00:02:30,580 --> 00:02:35,571
of well-intentioned people, and
holding them up to ridicule.
54
00:02:35,571 --> 00:02:37,678
- Do you think you're
obstructing the footpath
55
00:02:37,678 --> 00:02:39,511
just the teeniest bit?
56
00:02:40,571 --> 00:02:41,893
- I am?
57
00:02:41,893 --> 00:02:44,837
No, hang on, I must be stupid.
58
00:02:44,837 --> 00:02:46,801
Why didn't I think of this before?
59
00:02:46,801 --> 00:02:48,554
I could pick up this
stuff with my bare hands
60
00:02:48,554 --> 00:02:52,043
and move it to a more convenient location.
61
00:02:52,043 --> 00:02:53,151
(dramatic bang)
62
00:02:53,151 --> 00:02:54,836
- That, Snowy.
63
00:02:54,836 --> 00:02:56,886
That is sarcasm.
64
00:02:56,886 --> 00:02:59,711
- Gee, there's a word for that, is there?
65
00:02:59,711 --> 00:03:02,882
I thought it was just my life.
66
00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:04,884
- Mum's been calling for
a three-way conference
67
00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:06,771
with old Squasher.
68
00:03:06,771 --> 00:03:09,845
We're going to review my evil ways.
69
00:03:09,845 --> 00:03:13,552
Well, it's better than
being sent to the principal.
70
00:03:13,552 --> 00:03:15,554
Mom was being totally supportive.
71
00:03:15,554 --> 00:03:17,221
And kind, and brave.
72
00:03:18,945 --> 00:03:21,857
Which made me feel about
a million times worse.
73
00:03:21,857 --> 00:03:23,820
- It wasn't your choice to
abandon your friends in the city
74
00:03:23,820 --> 00:03:26,653
and trek halfway across the state.
75
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,903
- I'm okay.
76
00:03:29,903 --> 00:03:33,619
- Only to be thrust into an
unfamiliar and alien environment
77
00:03:33,619 --> 00:03:38,600
arguably the most challenging
moment of your life.
78
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,181
- Mum, it's okay.
79
00:03:40,181 --> 00:03:41,799
- Whilst living in a hovel that's sinking
80
00:03:41,799 --> 00:03:43,799
day by day into a swamp.
81
00:03:50,535 --> 00:03:52,317
I'm sorry, Lockie.
82
00:03:52,317 --> 00:03:53,983
I failed you.
83
00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:55,047
- [Lockie Voiceover] No you haven't!
84
00:03:55,047 --> 00:03:58,083
I'm the one that needs
to make it up to you!
85
00:03:58,083 --> 00:03:59,577
- Hello, welcome to Angelus High.
86
00:03:59,577 --> 00:04:02,479
My name's Vicki Streeton,
I'm the hospitality monitor.
87
00:04:02,479 --> 00:04:07,154
(upbeat rock music)
(heart beating)
88
00:04:07,154 --> 00:04:08,993
Could I get you a cup of tea, perhaps?
89
00:04:08,993 --> 00:04:10,784
- Oh, thank you, Vicki.
90
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:13,868
What I wouldn't give
for a nice cup of tea.
91
00:04:13,868 --> 00:04:15,363
- [Lockie Voiceover] A nice cup of tea.
92
00:04:15,363 --> 00:04:18,456
Mum's feeling down on herself
and needs a nice cup of tea.
93
00:04:18,456 --> 00:04:19,606
- My pleasure.
94
00:04:19,606 --> 00:04:20,669
And let me just say,
95
00:04:20,669 --> 00:04:23,897
that is an exquisite
pashmina you're wearing.
96
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,305
- This old thing?
97
00:04:25,305 --> 00:04:27,958
It doesn't get many
compliments at home! (laughing)
98
00:04:27,958 --> 00:04:28,791
- [Lockie Voiceover]
And then say nice things
99
00:04:28,791 --> 00:04:30,104
about the clothes.
100
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,213
It's so simple!
101
00:04:31,213 --> 00:04:33,309
Why couldn't I think of that?
102
00:04:33,309 --> 00:04:35,464
- Oh, what would boys know anyway?
103
00:04:35,464 --> 00:04:38,549
- Exactly! (laughing)
104
00:04:38,549 --> 00:04:41,623
Mr. Squasher, I want to say
that I take full responsibility
105
00:04:41,623 --> 00:04:44,660
for the problems Lockie's
going through at the moment.
106
00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:47,307
You see, my little one had croot the day
107
00:04:47,307 --> 00:04:49,491
that our parent-effective
descript tackled puberty,
108
00:04:49,491 --> 00:04:51,292
which meant that I leapt
straight from peer group pressure
109
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,355
to pimples.
110
00:04:52,355 --> 00:04:54,711
I mean, one of the other
girls, Jenny Endecott,
111
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,158
lent me her crib notes,
112
00:04:56,158 --> 00:04:58,246
but I still missed boys and their body.
113
00:04:58,246 --> 00:04:59,396
So I rushed out and got this
114
00:04:59,396 --> 00:05:04,104
little green book.
(horrific screeching)
115
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:04,937
- Oh ...
116
00:05:06,508 --> 00:05:07,878
Boys will be boys,
117
00:05:07,878 --> 00:05:12,351
as we can see very clearly
from these diagrams.
118
00:05:12,351 --> 00:05:14,104
You mustn't blame yourself, Mrs. Leonard.
119
00:05:14,104 --> 00:05:16,662
Statistics show that
girls are more proficient
120
00:05:16,662 --> 00:05:18,280
in maths than boys.
121
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:20,675
Not to mention superior reading ability,
122
00:05:20,675 --> 00:05:23,673
motor skills, emotional maturity,
123
00:05:23,673 --> 00:05:26,834
and attention to personal lodging.
124
00:05:26,834 --> 00:05:28,884
Makes you wonder why
we bother having boys.
125
00:05:28,884 --> 00:05:30,018
- Whoa!
126
00:05:30,018 --> 00:05:31,981
What's this thing about
girls all of a sudden?
127
00:05:31,981 --> 00:05:34,290
Girls can do no wrong, and boys are like,
128
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:35,870
a total waste of space?
129
00:05:35,870 --> 00:05:36,886
(record scratching)
130
00:05:36,886 --> 00:05:38,859
That isn't what I said, obviously.
131
00:05:38,859 --> 00:05:41,859
Goodness me, isn't that fascinating?
132
00:05:43,179 --> 00:05:45,411
- I'm glad we've had this
little chat, Mrs. Leonard.
133
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:49,261
If Lockie does his best
in Wednesday's maths test,
134
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:54,006
I think I can be persuaded
to call off the attack dogs.
135
00:05:54,006 --> 00:05:57,550
- Mr. Squasher, Lockie has
never given me anything less
136
00:05:57,550 --> 00:05:59,217
than his best, ever.
137
00:06:02,234 --> 00:06:04,629
(creaking)
138
00:06:04,629 --> 00:06:05,788
- Mum.
139
00:06:05,788 --> 00:06:09,083
Would you like a nice cup of tea?
140
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:11,631
- What's the matter, don't you feel well?
141
00:06:11,631 --> 00:06:13,527
- Better make me some sandwiches, Mum.
142
00:06:13,527 --> 00:06:17,903
Might have to pull an
all-nighter on the moon over six.
143
00:06:17,903 --> 00:06:19,617
(crashing)
144
00:06:19,617 --> 00:06:22,261
(crashing)
145
00:06:22,261 --> 00:06:24,301
(crashing)
146
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,658
- Mum, instead of Phil and me,
147
00:06:26,658 --> 00:06:29,570
do you ever wish you had two more girls?
148
00:06:29,570 --> 00:06:32,079
(whimsical string music)
149
00:06:32,079 --> 00:06:34,119
- No, no of course not.
150
00:06:34,119 --> 00:06:37,290
I have exactly the children
I have always wanted.
151
00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:39,761
(squeaking)
(splattering)
152
00:06:39,761 --> 00:06:41,552
- Goodness me!
153
00:06:41,552 --> 00:06:42,874
- You might have someone to talk to
154
00:06:42,874 --> 00:06:45,566
about pashminas and things.
155
00:06:45,566 --> 00:06:46,935
- Parents don't spend their whole lives
156
00:06:46,935 --> 00:06:49,321
obsessing about what they want,
157
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:51,485
they live for their children.
158
00:06:51,485 --> 00:06:54,014
And all their children's
little achievements
159
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:57,041
like you doing well on your maths test.
160
00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,726
- Attention stations Joy.
161
00:06:58,726 --> 00:07:00,008
When're you getting to
get to this laundry?
162
00:07:00,008 --> 00:07:02,710
This war on sarcasm is
taking a toll on my shirts.
163
00:07:02,710 --> 00:07:04,243
(slamming)
164
00:07:04,243 --> 00:07:05,680
What on Earth you doing, boy?
165
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,131
You're not going to get
that out with water alone.
166
00:07:07,131 --> 00:07:09,224
Here, here, here, use a cloth!
167
00:07:09,224 --> 00:07:11,245
In there, scrub, scrub, scrub.
168
00:07:11,245 --> 00:07:12,707
Scrub!
169
00:07:12,707 --> 00:07:13,540
Scrub!
170
00:07:14,621 --> 00:07:17,376
- But Sarge gets to do
everything he wants to do.
171
00:07:17,376 --> 00:07:20,190
His poetry, his war on sarcasm.
172
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:21,630
- Well I have those things too.
173
00:07:21,630 --> 00:07:24,026
- No you don't, you have housework.
174
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:27,435
- Oh, it's not just housework,
I have silly things.
175
00:07:27,435 --> 00:07:28,268
Like ...
176
00:07:29,534 --> 00:07:31,113
Choosing a new wallpaper,
177
00:07:31,113 --> 00:07:34,763
or wishing I had a new sauce spoon.
178
00:07:34,763 --> 00:07:36,890
- [Lockie] Those aren't silly things.
179
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,339
- Yes they are.
180
00:07:38,339 --> 00:07:39,677
Who in their right mind would hanker
181
00:07:39,677 --> 00:07:41,386
after a new sauce spoon, eh?
182
00:07:41,386 --> 00:07:42,853
- You miss out all the time.
183
00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:44,469
Last year for Christmas,
184
00:07:44,469 --> 00:07:47,924
I got you a pair of plastic
gloves and a toilet brush.
185
00:07:47,924 --> 00:07:52,091
- (sighing) The colours were so cheerful!
186
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:57,041
I love you boys.
187
00:07:58,463 --> 00:08:02,349
And I wouldn't have my life any other way.
188
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,188
If you do well on your maths test,
189
00:08:04,188 --> 00:08:07,485
you will make me the
happiest mum in the world.
190
00:08:07,485 --> 00:08:09,064
(burping)
(sighing)
191
00:08:09,064 --> 00:08:11,351
(burping)
192
00:08:11,351 --> 00:08:14,177
(burping)
193
00:08:14,177 --> 00:08:15,338
(burping)
194
00:08:15,338 --> 00:08:16,991
- Oh, nice one, Blob!
195
00:08:16,991 --> 00:08:19,623
(boys cheering)
(baby squealing)
196
00:08:19,623 --> 00:08:22,660
- Do you have any sandwiches, Mum?
197
00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:23,617
(crunching)
198
00:08:23,617 --> 00:08:24,741
- [Lockie Voiceover] "I love you boys,
199
00:08:24,741 --> 00:08:26,989
"and I wouldn't have
my life any other way".
200
00:08:26,989 --> 00:08:28,196
That's what Mum would say,
201
00:08:28,196 --> 00:08:31,354
but I'd seen something she was missing.
202
00:08:31,354 --> 00:08:32,598
- There's nothing I like more than
203
00:08:32,598 --> 00:08:34,549
sitting down with a nice cup of tea
204
00:08:34,549 --> 00:08:38,227
and having a good ol' chin
wag about pashminas and bras!
205
00:08:38,227 --> 00:08:39,472
- I know, it's heaven.
206
00:08:39,472 --> 00:08:41,636
Some bras fasten at the front, you know?
207
00:08:41,636 --> 00:08:42,509
- I know!
208
00:08:42,509 --> 00:08:44,626
And then there's others,
they fasten at the back!
209
00:08:44,626 --> 00:08:45,797
(laughing)
210
00:08:45,797 --> 00:08:46,630
- [Lockie Voiceover] I mean,
211
00:08:46,630 --> 00:08:48,147
imagine if Blob had been my big sister,
212
00:08:48,147 --> 00:08:49,939
instead of my baby sister.
213
00:08:49,939 --> 00:08:51,394
- Lockie get out of here!
214
00:08:51,394 --> 00:08:53,057
I'm taking over the bathroom
for the next seven hours
215
00:08:53,057 --> 00:08:54,896
for a fashion makeover.
216
00:08:54,896 --> 00:08:57,849
I need to try on all
my pashminas and bras!
217
00:08:57,849 --> 00:08:58,713
(squelching)
218
00:08:58,713 --> 00:09:02,001
- Hey, Blob, what's that you're eating?
219
00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:03,237
- Lino!
220
00:09:03,237 --> 00:09:04,871
It's so yum!
221
00:09:04,871 --> 00:09:06,961
- Would you say you live
in the girly household
222
00:09:06,961 --> 00:09:10,546
or a matuary, all
male-type of a household?
223
00:09:10,546 --> 00:09:12,339
- Definitely a guy's.
224
00:09:12,339 --> 00:09:15,952
Farts and boiler suits,
and that's just Mum.
225
00:09:15,952 --> 00:09:17,995
And your question is?
226
00:09:17,995 --> 00:09:18,828
- Have you ever thought
227
00:09:18,828 --> 00:09:20,568
that it might've been nicer for your Mum
228
00:09:20,568 --> 00:09:22,983
if you had been born a girl?
229
00:09:22,983 --> 00:09:24,655
- My Lockie, no!
230
00:09:24,655 --> 00:09:26,754
I've never thought of that, ever!
231
00:09:26,754 --> 00:09:28,751
And I'm not sure I like
what you're implying!
232
00:09:28,751 --> 00:09:32,113
- Hey, wait up, you don't
have to get nacky about it!
233
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,785
- Excuse me, and your question is eh,
234
00:09:33,785 --> 00:09:35,791
do you think that I wish I was a chick?
235
00:09:35,791 --> 00:09:38,215
No baby, no, not this little rock star!
236
00:09:38,215 --> 00:09:40,258
- I'm just, like, asking
if your Mum, like,
237
00:09:40,258 --> 00:09:41,958
gets frustrated at having
to live with, like,
238
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:43,509
guys all the time!
239
00:09:43,509 --> 00:09:45,246
- Would Mum be happy if
she wore the pants at home?
240
00:09:45,246 --> 00:09:48,237
Not a problem, girlfriend,
Mum already wears the pants!
241
00:09:48,237 --> 00:09:50,782
- But, like, if there was one
single thing that you could do
242
00:09:50,782 --> 00:09:53,782
that would, like, make Mum
feel, like, so much better,
243
00:09:53,782 --> 00:09:55,788
like, what would that be?
244
00:09:55,788 --> 00:09:59,169
(birds chirping)
245
00:09:59,169 --> 00:10:01,872
- If I got a good mark in the test.
246
00:10:01,872 --> 00:10:04,667
- Why, Mr. Eggleston and Mr. Leonard,
247
00:10:04,667 --> 00:10:08,290
all fired up for tomorrow's
total humiliation?
248
00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:10,528
Sorry, maths test.
249
00:10:10,528 --> 00:10:12,311
(slamming)
250
00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:14,893
- You realise there have been
a number of serious complaints
251
00:10:14,893 --> 00:10:18,143
regarding your reckless use of sarcasm?
252
00:10:19,259 --> 00:10:23,383
- (sarcastically) Oh, sure.
253
00:10:23,383 --> 00:10:24,716
I'm so sorry ...
254
00:10:26,011 --> 00:10:26,844
Not.
255
00:10:30,042 --> 00:10:32,375
- Take him back to his cell.
256
00:10:33,785 --> 00:10:36,581
- I pulled some women's
magazines out of the library,
257
00:10:36,581 --> 00:10:40,129
that were full of handy hints
about pashminas and bras.
258
00:10:40,129 --> 00:10:42,795
So if we can photocopy a
whole side of these articles,
259
00:10:42,795 --> 00:10:46,083
I can engage with Mum one on one.
260
00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:47,652
- Oh boy.
261
00:10:47,652 --> 00:10:48,485
- What?
262
00:10:49,612 --> 00:10:50,559
- Oh boy.
263
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:51,392
- What?
264
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:56,634
- Dr. Squasher's maths
test, with all the answers!
265
00:10:56,634 --> 00:10:57,878
- Show me!
266
00:10:57,878 --> 00:10:58,961
No, no, wait.
267
00:10:59,801 --> 00:11:01,751
No, we can't look at it.
268
00:11:01,751 --> 00:11:02,829
That's cheating.
269
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,290
- I know we can't, that's cheating.
270
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,414
(whirring)
271
00:11:06,414 --> 00:11:07,324
- What're you doing?
272
00:11:07,324 --> 00:11:08,160
- Making a copy.
273
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,916
- You can't do that, that's cheating!
274
00:11:09,916 --> 00:11:11,244
- I know it is!
275
00:11:11,244 --> 00:11:12,330
(whirring)
276
00:11:12,330 --> 00:11:13,163
- What're you doing?
277
00:11:13,163 --> 00:11:14,160
- Another copy for you.
278
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,334
- I don't want a copy, that's cheating!
279
00:11:16,334 --> 00:11:17,327
- This is like a gift from god,
280
00:11:17,327 --> 00:11:21,451
which is like my dad's boss, which means,
281
00:11:21,451 --> 00:11:24,080
sometime in my life, I
must've done something
282
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,950
very, very good, and I
didn't even know I did it!
283
00:11:26,950 --> 00:11:30,200
- No, Egg, Egg, you don't understand.
284
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,569
We can't cheat in Squasher's maths test,
285
00:11:32,569 --> 00:11:35,411
that's like crossing a line!
286
00:11:35,411 --> 00:11:38,235
- Lockie, Lockie, Lockie, Lockie,
287
00:11:38,235 --> 00:11:42,152
let's talk about that
line for just one moment.
288
00:11:43,427 --> 00:11:46,557
This side of the line,
good things, nirvana,
289
00:11:46,557 --> 00:11:48,758
the land of milk and honey.
290
00:11:48,758 --> 00:11:52,965
Ms. Lovett's Opportunity Class
for Gifted High Achievers.
291
00:11:52,965 --> 00:11:55,306
(thunderstorm crashing)
292
00:11:55,306 --> 00:11:58,306
This side of the line, old Squasher.
293
00:11:59,374 --> 00:12:02,885
(angelic ambience)
This side of the line, good!
294
00:12:02,885 --> 00:12:04,668
(thunderstorm crashing)
This side of the line,
295
00:12:04,668 --> 00:12:06,256
very bad!
296
00:12:06,256 --> 00:12:08,300
(angelic ambience)
Good!
297
00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:09,916
(thunderstorm crashing)
Bad!
298
00:12:09,916 --> 00:12:11,884
This side of the line,
299
00:12:11,884 --> 00:12:15,634
brainiac girls will
fight to sit next to you.
300
00:12:16,504 --> 00:12:18,464
- Vicki Streeton, I know.
301
00:12:18,464 --> 00:12:20,080
(girls chanting)
(heart beating)
302
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:24,269
♫ Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya
303
00:12:24,269 --> 00:12:28,436
- This side of the line,
mother's weeping with joy.
304
00:12:30,687 --> 00:12:32,693
(thunderstorm crashing)
This side of the line,
305
00:12:32,693 --> 00:12:33,776
brave smiles.
306
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,721
"I know you did your best, son".
307
00:12:38,721 --> 00:12:40,393
(sighing)
308
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:41,638
- [Lockie Voiceover] Egg nailed it.
309
00:12:41,638 --> 00:12:43,133
A good result on the test would make Mum
310
00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:45,539
feel a heck of a lot
better about everything.
311
00:12:45,539 --> 00:12:48,789
(supernatural humming)
312
00:12:50,201 --> 00:12:54,251
And right now, Mum needed
all the help she could get.
313
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:56,071
- How's your daughter developing?
314
00:12:56,071 --> 00:12:57,399
Crawling yet?
315
00:12:57,399 --> 00:12:59,034
- Um, no.
316
00:12:59,034 --> 00:13:02,907
- Right, but she's rolling
over, propping herself up,
317
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:04,490
that kind of thing?
318
00:13:05,656 --> 00:13:09,279
You know, becoming
increasingly active and aware?
319
00:13:09,279 --> 00:13:10,112
- Um, no.
320
00:13:11,944 --> 00:13:14,192
She's a bit of a Blob, really.
321
00:13:14,192 --> 00:13:15,232
- [Baby Care Worker] What's her name?
322
00:13:15,232 --> 00:13:16,737
- Blob.
323
00:13:16,737 --> 00:13:20,303
Oh, Barbara, her name's
Barbara, we just call her Blob
324
00:13:20,303 --> 00:13:22,997
because she doesn't really do anything.
325
00:13:22,997 --> 00:13:25,124
- [Baby Care Worker] Is
Barbara feeding well?
326
00:13:25,124 --> 00:13:27,093
- Oh yes, yes, can't stop her eating!
327
00:13:27,093 --> 00:13:27,957
- Oh!
328
00:13:27,957 --> 00:13:29,824
What does Barbara like to eat?
329
00:13:29,824 --> 00:13:31,040
- Her favourite?
330
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,660
That would have to be the lino.
331
00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:35,610
She loves eating the lino.
332
00:13:35,610 --> 00:13:37,777
Sometimes wallpaper, sofa.
333
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,675
Well, she enjoys all the
household furnishings, really.
334
00:13:41,675 --> 00:13:43,551
- Well, praise the lord and hallelujah,
335
00:13:43,551 --> 00:13:46,551
that's something to be grateful for.
336
00:13:48,585 --> 00:13:50,090
(slamming)
337
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,465
(sarcastically) Do I get anything to eat?
338
00:13:51,465 --> 00:13:54,251
Or is that way too much
trouble for everyone?
339
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:57,251
(beeping)
340
00:13:57,251 --> 00:13:59,369
- [Lockie Voiceover] Okay,
here's the situation.
341
00:13:59,369 --> 00:14:02,109
I brought the stupid bit of
paper home with me, but so far,
342
00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:06,421
I haven't been able to
bring myself to look at it.
343
00:14:06,421 --> 00:14:07,555
Meanwhile, the rest of the family,
344
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,505
knowing how pathetic I was at math,
345
00:14:09,505 --> 00:14:11,812
are lining up to tell me
that whatever happened
346
00:14:11,812 --> 00:14:13,502
I wouldn't lose their respect.
347
00:14:13,502 --> 00:14:14,589
- You know, don't you Lockie,
348
00:14:14,589 --> 00:14:17,784
my love for you will never depend
349
00:14:17,784 --> 00:14:19,697
on some silly old maths test.
350
00:14:19,697 --> 00:14:21,527
And besides!
351
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,858
What we know about boys and maths?
352
00:14:23,858 --> 00:14:25,019
- Maybe we should get the old Phillip
353
00:14:25,019 --> 00:14:27,434
to give you a bit of last minute coaching?
354
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,273
I know he's three years
younger and in primary school,
355
00:14:29,273 --> 00:14:32,542
but gee whiz, he knows how
to make those figures fly.
356
00:14:32,542 --> 00:14:34,874
- I have better things
to do than waste my time
357
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,996
with a boy who is
incapable of even grasping
358
00:14:37,996 --> 00:14:40,688
the simplest of mathematical concepts.
359
00:14:40,688 --> 00:14:44,543
Don't you have any desire to
make use of your pitiful brain?
360
00:14:44,543 --> 00:14:46,103
(bell ringing)
361
00:14:46,103 --> 00:14:49,753
- Phillip, you know what happens
to people who use sarcasm.
362
00:14:49,753 --> 00:14:53,143
(blade scraping)
363
00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:55,088
(supernatural whirring)
364
00:14:55,088 --> 00:14:57,391
- [Lockie Voiceover] To
cheat, or not to cheat?
365
00:14:57,391 --> 00:15:00,419
This is the question being
asked all across Angelus.
366
00:15:00,419 --> 00:15:01,747
- Yes, Geoff?
367
00:15:01,747 --> 00:15:03,363
- Uh ...
368
00:15:03,363 --> 00:15:06,995
Just wondering how the sermon was going.
369
00:15:06,995 --> 00:15:08,156
You know?
370
00:15:08,156 --> 00:15:09,073
Sun-Sunday?
371
00:15:10,283 --> 00:15:12,196
- Oh, since you asked,
372
00:15:12,196 --> 00:15:14,945
I think I might go a bit of Old Testament.
373
00:15:14,945 --> 00:15:18,103
You know, fire and brimstone.
374
00:15:18,103 --> 00:15:19,896
Be sure if you are
sinning, he'll find you out
375
00:15:19,896 --> 00:15:21,735
kind of thing.
376
00:15:21,735 --> 00:15:25,246
Do the right thing, or you'll
be afflicted with boils
377
00:15:25,246 --> 00:15:27,178
and eternal torment.
378
00:15:27,178 --> 00:15:31,459
And then wrap up with a couple
gags and a song, and get off.
379
00:15:31,459 --> 00:15:34,580
- Oh, that should turn a few lives around.
380
00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:35,413
Not.
381
00:15:36,447 --> 00:15:39,038
(slamming)
382
00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:41,193
(creaking)
383
00:15:41,193 --> 00:15:44,360
(foreboding ambience)
384
00:15:46,385 --> 00:15:50,426
- (screaming) Lockie, get out of here!
385
00:15:50,426 --> 00:15:51,509
- Sorry Blob!
386
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,361
- Hey, Lockie.
387
00:15:55,361 --> 00:15:56,977
You know how I'm not real,
388
00:15:56,977 --> 00:15:59,187
but I know everything you think and do?
389
00:15:59,187 --> 00:16:00,060
- Yeah?
390
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,769
- Well, I think that because you're a boy
391
00:16:01,769 --> 00:16:04,974
and boys always do really stupid
things, like all the time,
392
00:16:04,974 --> 00:16:07,546
I think whatever you decide
to do about the test,
393
00:16:07,546 --> 00:16:10,621
it's going to end up really
horribly, and hurt Mum.
394
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:12,274
- Gee, thanks Blob.
395
00:16:12,274 --> 00:16:15,395
- And keep your hands off my lino!
396
00:16:15,395 --> 00:16:17,645
(creaking)
397
00:16:21,506 --> 00:16:23,345
- [Mum And Sarge] Night Lockie!
398
00:16:23,345 --> 00:16:24,766
- Night Mum!
399
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:25,766
Night Sarge!
400
00:16:26,893 --> 00:16:28,893
- Night Albert Einstein!
401
00:16:29,893 --> 00:16:31,305
(slamming)
402
00:16:31,305 --> 00:16:32,884
- Goodnight Mr. Squasher!
403
00:16:32,884 --> 00:16:34,212
Sleep well!
404
00:16:34,212 --> 00:16:35,336
- Thank you!
405
00:16:35,336 --> 00:16:36,831
Goodnight Mrs. Eggelston!
406
00:16:36,831 --> 00:16:38,039
- Goodnight Mr. Squasher!
407
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,534
Goodnight Phillip!
408
00:16:39,534 --> 00:16:41,401
- Goodnight Mrs. Eggelston!
409
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:42,701
Goodnight all!
410
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:45,488
- [All] Goodnight Phillip!
411
00:16:45,488 --> 00:16:46,435
(peaceful ambient music)
412
00:16:46,435 --> 00:16:47,866
- Next morning, before school,
413
00:16:47,866 --> 00:16:49,366
I went for a surf.
414
00:16:50,318 --> 00:16:52,779
I've always found that
when it's just you, alone,
415
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,943
with the sky and the ocean,
416
00:16:54,943 --> 00:16:56,494
your problems are all diminished
417
00:16:56,494 --> 00:16:59,559
and the answers become crystal clear.
418
00:16:59,559 --> 00:17:01,863
(waves crashing)
419
00:17:01,863 --> 00:17:03,780
Well, most of the time.
420
00:17:04,658 --> 00:17:06,367
You're really gonna cheat?
421
00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:07,200
- Do right!
422
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,151
My ticket out of here.
423
00:17:08,151 --> 00:17:11,901
Fork in the road, to
the victors, the spoils.
424
00:17:13,222 --> 00:17:14,346
See look.
425
00:17:14,346 --> 00:17:16,435
There's the line.
- Hey.
426
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,768
I understand about the line.
427
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:24,265
- I've got the answers stuffed in my shoe.
428
00:17:24,265 --> 00:17:25,515
What about you?
429
00:17:28,417 --> 00:17:29,250
- Same.
430
00:17:30,497 --> 00:17:33,330
(papers flapping)
431
00:17:41,485 --> 00:17:44,818
(supernatural whirring)
432
00:17:46,268 --> 00:17:47,810
- This side of the line,
433
00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:51,060
you'll find the land of milk and honey.
434
00:17:52,259 --> 00:17:55,584
This side of the line, old Squasher.
435
00:17:55,584 --> 00:17:56,917
24/7.
436
00:17:58,835 --> 00:18:00,916
- I've always known that one day
437
00:18:00,916 --> 00:18:03,126
Lockie would do something
that would make me
438
00:18:03,126 --> 00:18:05,626
the happiest Mum in the world.
439
00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:11,373
- You may begin the mathematics test.
440
00:18:18,247 --> 00:18:20,228
(girls chanting)
441
00:18:20,228 --> 00:18:22,513
♫ Kumbaya, my lord
- Now here's your milk.
442
00:18:22,513 --> 00:18:25,012
♫ Kumbaya
- And here's your honey.
443
00:18:25,012 --> 00:18:26,414
♫ Kumbaya, my lord
- You're just in time, Lockie.
444
00:18:26,414 --> 00:18:28,114
Today's show and tell,
and we'll be locking at
445
00:18:28,114 --> 00:18:32,197
pashminas and our bras.
♫ Kumbaya
446
00:18:33,668 --> 00:18:36,157
(heavily sighing)
447
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:39,990
(foreboding orchestral music)
448
00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:44,052
- I did it, I cheated!
449
00:18:44,052 --> 00:18:46,300
We'll both get top marks!
450
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:47,758
- Really?
451
00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:49,959
That's very good.
452
00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:50,925
Well done.
453
00:18:50,925 --> 00:18:52,588
- What?
454
00:18:52,588 --> 00:18:56,201
- I, um ... (clearing throat)
455
00:18:56,201 --> 00:18:57,034
I choked.
456
00:18:58,114 --> 00:19:00,455
Sorry mate, I couldn't go through with it!
457
00:19:00,455 --> 00:19:03,492
- I only did it because you
said you were going to do it!
458
00:19:03,492 --> 00:19:07,319
- Yeah, but, you see, I'm
in a tricky situation.
459
00:19:07,319 --> 00:19:10,885
My dad's the minister.
- Well my dad's the cop!
460
00:19:10,885 --> 00:19:13,059
You think that's any
better than you for me?
461
00:19:13,059 --> 00:19:17,264
- I stared temptation in the
face, and put it all behind me.
462
00:19:17,264 --> 00:19:21,431
I feel strangely cleansed.
(angelic ambience)
463
00:19:30,204 --> 00:19:34,037
- These test results, I
must say, are unusual,
464
00:19:35,721 --> 00:19:37,304
even extraordinary.
465
00:19:38,601 --> 00:19:43,207
And were it not for my
long years of achievement
466
00:19:43,207 --> 00:19:46,207
as a teacher of the finest quality,
467
00:19:46,207 --> 00:19:48,874
I'd suggest they'd beg a belief.
468
00:19:50,248 --> 00:19:51,081
Leonard.
469
00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:56,508
Stand and accept the
praise that is your due.
470
00:19:56,508 --> 00:19:58,923
Scoring-
- 37%!
471
00:19:58,923 --> 00:20:02,424
Oh, you've made me the
happiest Mum in the world!
472
00:20:02,424 --> 00:20:04,310
Oh, who needs girls when I've got
473
00:20:04,310 --> 00:20:06,381
a master mathematician, eh?
474
00:20:06,381 --> 00:20:09,118
- G'day, Mum, my pleasure.
475
00:20:09,118 --> 00:20:10,362
- This makes no sense!
476
00:20:10,362 --> 00:20:12,529
It defies all known logic!
477
00:20:13,474 --> 00:20:14,979
(supernatural humming)
478
00:20:14,979 --> 00:20:16,715
- What a hero!
479
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:19,022
You don't think you're gonna
get away with this, do you?
480
00:20:19,022 --> 00:20:21,270
(crunching)
481
00:20:21,270 --> 00:20:25,020
(sentimental acoustic music)
482
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:26,932
- Mum.
483
00:20:28,106 --> 00:20:29,856
We have to talk, now.
484
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,369
Okay, so this is interesting.
485
00:20:35,369 --> 00:20:38,369
What we're seeing here is
the worst moment of my life.
486
00:20:38,369 --> 00:20:40,202
Rock bottom, bar none.
487
00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:43,728
- Clean wrap over the toilet seat.
488
00:20:43,728 --> 00:20:44,728
Fair enough.
489
00:20:45,688 --> 00:20:47,163
I'll even accept waving school at a pinch
490
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:50,663
of the surf's up when the
ocean's calling your name.
491
00:20:50,663 --> 00:20:52,413
But cheating, Lockie.
492
00:20:55,781 --> 00:20:56,951
That strikes at the very core
493
00:20:56,951 --> 00:21:00,276
of what this family believes in.
494
00:21:00,276 --> 00:21:03,945
- There's nothing I can say, Sarge.
495
00:21:03,945 --> 00:21:08,032
- We had a contract,
an unwritten contract.
496
00:21:08,032 --> 00:21:10,949
You were my son, and I trusted you.
497
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:17,227
Now I feel as if we've crossed a line.
498
00:21:17,227 --> 00:21:20,097
- [Lockie Voiceover] No
Sarge, not the line again!
499
00:21:20,097 --> 00:21:21,676
- Was it us, Mum?
500
00:21:21,676 --> 00:21:23,719
Did we get things so terribly wrong?
501
00:21:23,719 --> 00:21:27,219
- No guys, please, don't blame yourselves.
502
00:21:29,459 --> 00:21:33,450
I just thought that if Mum
thought I was good at maths
503
00:21:33,450 --> 00:21:36,360
then it would make up
for me not being a girl.
504
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:37,443
- Oh, Lockie.
505
00:21:38,989 --> 00:21:42,945
I told you, I love the kids that I have.
506
00:21:42,945 --> 00:21:45,314
The order in which they were born,
507
00:21:45,314 --> 00:21:49,057
and the flaws they were each born with,
508
00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:53,224
which, by the way, I accept
full and total responsibility.
509
00:21:58,354 --> 00:22:00,771
- I'll make it up, I promise!
510
00:22:02,617 --> 00:22:04,856
Okay, if you don't want
to see Lockie Leonard,
511
00:22:04,856 --> 00:22:07,391
age 12 and three-quarters
bawling his eyes out,
512
00:22:07,391 --> 00:22:08,891
I'd turn away now.
513
00:22:11,589 --> 00:22:15,045
- I know someone you need
to make it up to, Lockie.
514
00:22:15,045 --> 00:22:15,878
Big time.
515
00:22:17,139 --> 00:22:18,509
- [Lockie Voiceover] Goodbye, Ms. Lovett.
516
00:22:18,509 --> 00:22:22,942
Farewell land of milk and
honey, and brainiac girls.
517
00:22:22,942 --> 00:22:25,710
It didn't take long for
things to get back to normal.
518
00:22:25,710 --> 00:22:29,377
Next test, actually.
- Eggleston and Leonard.
519
00:22:30,261 --> 00:22:32,011
Now I'll be the first
520
00:22:33,512 --> 00:22:35,179
to offer both of you
521
00:22:36,057 --> 00:22:37,831
my heartiest commiserations
522
00:22:37,831 --> 00:22:40,414
as you fail and fail abysmally.
523
00:22:43,413 --> 00:22:47,853
Indeed, I'm feeling
misty-eyed with nostalgia.
524
00:22:47,853 --> 00:22:50,353
Quite like old times, Leonard.
525
00:22:52,478 --> 00:22:53,398
- [Both] Yeah!
526
00:22:53,398 --> 00:22:56,398
(upbeat rock music)
527
00:23:04,961 --> 00:23:07,265
♫ Oo
528
00:23:07,265 --> 00:23:10,255
♫ Oo oo oo
529
00:23:10,255 --> 00:23:12,505
♫ Oo oo oo
530
00:23:13,506 --> 00:23:15,756
♫ Oo oo oo
531
00:23:17,974 --> 00:23:21,206
♫ Boy is breaking
532
00:23:21,206 --> 00:23:25,206
♫ Underneath the world's strain
533
00:23:30,791 --> 00:23:33,318
♫ Walked away from anyone
534
00:23:33,318 --> 00:23:36,726
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
535
00:23:36,726 --> 00:23:39,596
♫ Walked away from anyone
536
00:23:39,596 --> 00:23:43,005
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
537
00:23:43,005 --> 00:23:47,172
♫ It was just enough to get that ball away
538
00:23:49,915 --> 00:23:51,996
♫ Oo
539
00:23:51,996 --> 00:23:54,246
♫ Oo oo oo
38598
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof