All language subtitles for 2019_Greys.Anatomy.S16E15.WEB.H264

When I was a kid,
I would wake up every morning

in the winter and immediately
open the curtains

to see if it was snowing.

Where are you,
where are you... ♪ Doctor ♪

And it usually was.

It was Boston.

♪ Look into my eyes ♪

Dr. James...

♪ I've been breathing air,
but there's no sign of life ♪

Okay, so what are we, uh...
Hey! What are you doing? Stop!

It's freezing out there, and
there are sick people in here.

♪ Doctor, the problem's in my
chest ♪ Sorry, Vic... Vic... Hello?

No, it's crazy in the ER
right now. I can't talk.

♪ My heart feels cold as ice,
but it's anybody's guess ♪ Alright.

What do you... What do you mean?
Why are you mad?

Um, okay.
You know what?

I can't hear you.
Hello?

♪ Doctor, can you help me
'cause I don't feel right ♪

Pretty sure she just
faked not hearing me

so she could hang up.
You paged?

You said you got
a patient with frostbite?

Yeah, beds 2, 3, 6, 7, and 9.
Have fun.

All...
Yeah. Uh. Hey, whoa!

Get away from that door.

Okay.
Schools would close.

People would hunker down,
light candles,

and eat everything
in the refrigerator.

♪ Well, it's cold, cold, cold,
cold inside ♪

Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Hey, Schmitt!

I don't have time,
for God's sake!

Come on, you can't be serious.
This is supposed to be

the bloody Pacific Northwest,
and you're telling me...

♪ Cold, cold, cold, cold inside ♪ Well,
thank you very much.

You've been very helpful.
Yeah, thank you.

Hayes.

We usually let the parents do
the screaming on this floor.

I just told my 6-year-old
patient's parents

that I have a liver
for their dying child,

but now half a foot of snow
has rendered every road

in Seattle useless, apparently.

Okay.
And no airlift either?

No, there's no visibility.

And it's just three miles away.
Three bloody miles.

Okay, well, I'm sure the roads

are gonna be cleared up
in a few hours.

She doesn't have
a few hours, Grey.

INR is climbing.
She's developing ascites.

I'll get it. What? What?

I'll get your liver.
It's at Seattle Pres, right?

Give me the paperwork right now.
I'll go.

Thank you.

I don't know whose service
you're on, but I'll cover you.

How are you gonna
get there? I'll walk.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

Everyone loves a "snow day."

Except for one person.

My mother.

She always said
the same thing...

"Meredith, surgeons
don't get snow days."

Hey. ♪ Doctor, can you help me,
'cause I don't feel right ♪

So, you know it's
8 degrees outside

with a wind chill of minus-15.

People are freezing to death.

Hey, I'm used to the cold,
alright? I grew up in Wisconsin.

♪ Well, it's cold, cold, cold, cold inside ♪ I
used to be a cross-country skier in high school.

Okay, well, where are your skis,

in your locker? ♪ Darker in
the day than the dead of night ♪

Look, just tell Hayes
to call Seattle Pres

and that I'll be there in an hour,
okay? ♪ Cold, cold, cold, cold inside ♪

Listen to me.
I'm not just not sure

you're thinking
about this clearly.

Hayes was just screaming
at the top of his lungs

and slamming his phone down.
On the PEDS floor.

♪ Something don't feel right ♪

You gonna tell him that
he sounds like my dad, too?

♪ Something don't feel right ♪
She was right.

We don't.

"An object's weight
is the product

of the Earth's
gravitational pull

and the mass of that object.

What happens to the mass
and weight of a rocket

as it travels beyond
Earth's orbit?"

Kind of tricky.

Mass is the same.
Weight decreases.

Hmm.
I mean, correct.

Chief?

Yeah?
Eight more nurses

can't get here due to
the road conditions.

ER's over capacity,
and Dr. DeLuca

went on foot to pick up
a liver from Seattle Pres.

He did what?

Di...

Alright. I-I'm coming.

Joey.

Keep at it.

Yes, ma'am.

Checked on the TEVAR
from last night.

BP is finally normalized.

Shh, shh, shh!

Still snowing?

Uh, it is.

Coffee?
Two sugars. Thanks.

So, Amelia's not coming to work.

She's not returning
my calls or my texts.

Um, are we just
gonna keep doing this

till the baby arrives,
then we... Hey, Teddy!

Oh. Would you like
some coffee, as well?

I am pouring for everyone.

Everything okay with Amelia?

What, she get snowed in?

Oh.

Something like that.

Mm. Shepherd should take
a leave more often.

Makes him look like
he actually belongs

with the rest of us mortals.

Mm. You know what?

I...

I don't need any more coffee.

Here, someone take this.

Uh...

Amelia's on leave?

Why?
Beats me.

I just got a cryptic text

saying the baby's fine

but she needed me
to cover her service.

And judging from Link's
disregard for personal hygiene,

that doesn't bode well
for their little insta-family.

Or her patients.

Ha ha!
Kidding.

Ohh!
Adonis has made this warm.

Ahh.

Little bit of bleeding.

A rupture.
Oh, come on, man!

Get proximal and distal control.

Yeah,
that's why that guy died. What...

Oops. Spoiler alert.

Whatcha working on?

Oh, I have a lap chole
later today.

Not everybody was snowed out.

Oh, yeah. Haven't you done
like a million of those?

Why are you practicing? I'm
experienced because I practice.

I just don't get it.

Those residents...

they work their butts off,

they go into a mountain of debt,
all for a chance

at the greatest job
on the planet,

and they treat it
like it's retail.

What's your name? Desmond,
sir. Tess Desmond.

Well, Dr. Desmond, why
don't you step over here?

And let's see what

your laparoscopic skills
are like, hmm?

Uh, Dr. Karev! Good
morning! It's not. And move.

We need to do pre-op rounds
on my carcinoma.

I actually think we should
save Ms. Anderson for last.

Like, switch it up a bit,
right? I disrespectfully disagree.

I need to order...
I need to talk to her.

Move!

Schmitt. Um,
I might've misplaced her.

Or she misplaced herself.

You misplace pens.

You misplace keys.

You don't misplace people.

Sure, when you put it like that,

but I still don't know
where she... Find her!

While you're at it,
try and find my husband.

Stupid. Cavalier. Cowboy.
Doesn't ever listen.

Maybe fired.
All due respect, Chief,

my patient will die
without that liver.

DeLuca could save her.
It's only three miles away.

Have you been outside?

You can't even see three feet
ahead of you.

Somebody needs to go after him.

What about Ben?
Can Ben send a rig out

and look for him?
Yeah.

He can get him to Seattle Pres
and get him back.

Last time we spoke,
Ben was amputating a foot

in a grounded rig.
So, no.

Dr. Bailey, you asked me
to let you know

when I discharged Joey Phillips.

No, no!
In the middle of a blizzard?

What's the matter with you?

Sorry, there's no medical
reason to keep him.

All that's left is his dispo
with Social Services.

He's free to go.

Uh, and let me know
if there's an update.

I'll call Andrea
every 15 minutes.

Dr. Hayes, something's wrong!

Baby? Elisa?
Honey, wake up.

- Honey?
- She's hemorrhaging.

Let's hang some FFP and get
two units of blood in here.

Damn it, she's unresponsive.

Oh,
God. It's okay. It's okay. She's okay.

Let's get an intubation tray
in here right now.

Let's book an OR!

Ms. Gutierrez, how are
we feeling today?

I called my neighbor, Stevie,

to check that the heat
is still on in my house

so my cats are okay,
but I worry about the strays.

They don't have wings,
can't just fly south.

You know, freezing to death
isn't supposed to be that bad.

Uh, uh, people, uh,

who have been resuscitated
said it was blissful.

Ms. Gutierrez, if I may,

I saw on TV that the animal
shelters are open 24/7.

There's plenty of food.

People can bring in
any animal that they find.

Even horses.
Really?

Oh, that's nice.

Okay, then,
Ms. Gutierrez.

Someone will come
to bring you to pre-op soon.

Hey, Desmond, meet me
in the scrub room.

Me? Her? Uh,
I'm... I'm supposed to assist, Dr. Webber.

I remember. But I'm sure
the ER is slammed.

They could use the help.

The worst snowstorm
we have ever seen in Seattle.

That's right...

residents around the region...

I've never seen it
snow like this in Seattle.

Mm, it's not supposed to, but
y'all ruined the planet so...

The social worker said

that you declined to meet
with her about your options.

Mm. I just turned 18.

Which means you can apply
for extended foster care

or go to a group home.
Or go out on my own.

Why take the chance on getting
crappy foster parents

just in it for the money?

Because you... you might
get a great family.

People that can help you get
your high-school diploma,

apply for college.

Uh, help you find
a career you love.

What?
Oh. College?

That'll never happen.

I'll just get a job.

There's always a sign
at a Burger Shack.

Joey.

Goodness.

What...

Come on.

You're coming with me.

You are checking out
jobs around here.

I said, come on!

Yes, ma'am.

Hey.
Have you seen my patient?

She's got brown hair
and maybe brownish eyes.

She's about, um...

Well, I don't know
how tall she is.

I... I've only seen her in bed.

Uh, no, but after you find her,

why don't we find
an on-call room?

My hip replacement rescheduled.

Um, yeah, yeah, sure.

May... Uh, maybe.

What? Doesn't sound fun?

Might get snowed in,
make a night out of it.

It does, but we've been
having a lot of fun lately.

In fact, this might be
the most we've talked

since you told me you
weren't out to your parents.

I love you, Nico.
You can talk to me.

You still haven't found her?

Schmitt, I know
this job is hard,

but you should be able
to follow basics like,

don't let a severely
sick patient evaporate.

If she isn't here,
you shouldn't be either.

I have to find my patient.

Hey, more frostbite, bed 10.

Of course there is.

Hey. So, Mom called.

Leo is stir-crazy.

He keeps trying to open
the front door.

But Allison rolled over.
Twice.

No! Wait, did your mom record...
Oh, you know what?

I don't even know why
I bothered to ask. Help!

Help me, please!
Please help!

It's my wife...
she's not talking.

I don't think she's breathing. Okay,
just stop moving her. Stop.

Let's lay her down.
I got her.

Alright. Yep.
Yeah.

- We need a gurney!
- On it!

She's 32 weeks pregnant.

Why's she hurt?
What happened?

I hit her with my car.

Oh, my God. How far along?

32 weeks. Page OB.

Let's get the X-ray in here,
warm saline,

and where's
the fetal heart monitor?

- Is she dead?
- We need to do a full exam.

Kendra, are you hurt?

No, no, I'm just c-cold.

Alright, let's get her
a warming blanket.

Her back's been hurting her,
and I was snowed in at work,

and she called and said
that she was worried

that she might be having
contractions.

And she wanted to come here.
We only live four blocks away.

She was walking here? I told her not to go,
but I-I got in my car.

I was almost home, and that's
when I-I hit something.

And I got out, and...

I'm gonna be sick.
Whoa, whoa. Hey.

Fetal heartbeat's strong.

Tube's good. I thought I
was driving on the street.

I was on the sidewalk.

...and then,
under direct visualization,

we remove the ports.

At which point we...

Uh, deflate the abdomen

and close the fascia
with U stitches.

Great.
So... you ready?

Uh, why wouldn't I be ready?

Oh, my mistake.
I didn't realize

that you had already
performed a lap chole.

Performed one?
Of course not.

Wait, you don't want me to...

No, I-I...

I can't.
I'm not ready.

Do you know how many
of your classmates beg

to do procedures
when they're not ready?

By the way you formed
the question,

I assume it's a big number.

I'm not gonna leave you
on your own, Desmond.

You'll be my hands,

but I will guide you through
the whole thing,

step by step.

Have you ever wanted something
with your whole being,

but there are so many obstacles

it seems like you won't get it?

So you try to stop dreaming,

but you can't make
yourself stop,

so you just live with it,
quietly in hell?

Let's show your classmates
what you're made of.

Yeah. So, uh,
Ruben's a phlebotomist,

draws blood for lab work,
never leaves a bruise.

And Pablo, he's
a respiratory therapist...

he oversees ventilators
on patients

and, um, helps them if they
have any lung issues. Right.

So should you...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Schmitt! Slow down!

Huh? What's the problem?
Uh, nothing. No problem.

All good.

I lost a patient.

I mean, physically.
I can't find her.

If this story doesn't
have a happy ending,

neither will your career.
Understand?

Yep. I'm just gonna...

Can I have his job?

Losing people?

You're not funny.

Think this shunt
will stop the bleeding?

Well, it's our only choice
until the liver gets here.

So, you were fired.

And?

And I never heard the full
story, and we have time to kill.

I had a 4-year-old patient,

and she did not have
health insurance,

so I put my daughter's name
on her paperwork

so that I could save
her life. That's insane.

Well, if you had seen
how sick she was...

No, this country's
medical system is insane

that you had to do that.

I'd do it for more people
if I could,

but then they would definitely
take away my license.

Hmm. Never seen such an
early case of cirrhosis before.

Alpha-1-Antitrypsin deficiency.

Elisa's older sister
died of the same thing.

Family's first doctor diagnosed
it from the autopsy.

That was Seattle Pres.

Dr. DeLuca just left
with the donor organ.

On foot?
No idea.

Alpha-1-Antitrypsin deficiency.

Was their first doctor
Alex Karev?

My absentee co-chief?
Yes, it was.

I think I remember her.
She loved comic books.

He did a whole thing for her
on the PEDS floor.

He was devastated when she died.

Well, not devastated enough
to come back and help Elisa.

Yang spoke a lot about Karev.

She used to call him
the devil or something?

Evil Spawn.
Evil Spawn. That was it.

What did Yang say about me?

Nothing that I can recall.

Hmm.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Stop! Everybody.
Oh, my God, stop.

Schmitt?! What if we'd have
been in mid-dissection?

You could've startled
Dr. Desmond so badly

she'd injure
the common bile duct.

Dr. Desmond?
Who's that?

She may not have been your year,

but, Schmitt, that's no excuse
for not knowing who she is.

That's my patient,
Tess Anderson!

Your patient?
Now, that's absurd.

I can explain.

Am I, um, technically
a-a patient?

Yes. But you were the one
that brought me into the OR.

I was just gonna stay
in the skills lab,

but you told me to be
confident, and I also...

Oh, not again!

Ohh!

Hey! Stop!

God in heaven.

Hey, Pierce!
Pierce, Pierce, here!

I want you to meet,
uh, Joey Phillips.

He is experiencing my version
of a career fair.

Joey,
this is Dr. Maggie Pierce.

Just like Avery, she is chief
of her own department,

cardiothoracic surgery. Well,
technically, I'm co-chief, right?

I was the chief, but then
I kind of got demoted.

After you quit and got rehired
out of the goodness of my heart.

Which is why it is such
an honor to be co-chief,

and I'm so proud.

Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Maggie. Mom's in P.E.A.

Okay, come on, come on.

Okay. We lost her pulse.
Did we get OB?

They got swamped with
an abruption upstairs.

Give me that ultrasound.

You know what, Joey?

We should go check out
a calmer department.

Is she gonna be okay?

The rib must've
punctured her heart.

Damn it.
Fetal heart rate's down to 80.

I think we're out of time.

Time for what? Use words.
You're not using words.

Am I losing them both?

I'm sorry, what's your name?

Kendra. I'm Kendra.

Kendra, okay, they need
to do a C-section.

But she's only 32 weeks.

Yeah, but her heart has been
stopped for too long,

and if they don't deliver the
baby now, it'll be too late.

And then they'll help Lesley?

Uh, I'm afraid...

Let's get a lap
and a thoracotomy tray.

We're gonna do a C-section
and a thoracotomy.

Both? Hunt,
she will lose way too much blood.

We can give her more.
We're saving them both.

Mom and baby, okay?

Teddy, you take over CPR.

I... Hold on. Hold on. I'm
gonna prep for a crash C-section.

Joey, take her arm.

Get her out of here.

Come on.
Lesley, I love you.

I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.

You don't have to
have me guarded.

I'm not a lunatic.

You almost cut into a patient
with zero qualifications.

I spent half my life
in hospitals.

Mm. What kind
of hospitals?

♪ Louder now ♪ Schmitt,
can you go check on the psych eval?

♪ It was ♪
Gladly.

♪ Harder somehow ♪ Is there
someone that we can call for you?

Um, friends or family?

♪ To listen to the silence ♪ No
one who'd come out in a blizzard.

Tess, what were you thinking?

♪ Lights go down ♪ I
got caught. It doesn't matter.

♪ Chains get ♪
Well, it matters to me.

♪ Tighter now ♪ I have
adrenocortical carcinoma.

Which is extremely treatable
at your stage.

♪ Drowning in the quiet ♪
Yeah, so I've heard.

First time you get sick,
everyone's there for you.

Kids at school who
hated me... ♪ Waiting ♪

♪ I was ♪ ...came to the
hospital and apologized and cried.

♪ Waiting ♪ Not so much
the second time or the third.

This is my fourth type
of cancer in eight years.

♪ Waiting to break free ♪ In high school,
I was so inspired by the doctors,

I decided to become one,

to become the people
who saved my life.

♪ Waiting I was ♪

Got diagnosed the third time
in med school.

♪ Waiting ♪ Recovery took a year,
drained my college fund.

♪ Waiting... ♪
Now I'm a barista.

♪ ...to break free ♪

And when I was getting sick,
everyone else just kept living.

Graduating, matching.

They all got to live their dream
while I just sat here.

♪ Can't let go ♪

And then, one night, it snowed.

♪ But no one knows ♪

It snowed so much
almost no one was here.

♪ The struggle in the darkness
♪ And everything looked new.

And I thought,
"What if I were new?"

♪ Locked away ♪ "What if I
got to live my dream just once?"

♪ Fires fade ♪
"Just for a day.

How would it feel?"

♪ Hope burns... ♪
Felt great, by the way.

♪ ...in the distance ♪
Escaping.

Dr. Webber, you paged?

Uh, yes, I need you
to scrub in with me...

♪ Waiting ♪ ...for Ms.
Gutierrez's lap chole.

♪ I was ♪
Wow. Thank you.

♪ Waiting ♪

What happened?
♪ Waiting... ♪

Uh... it doesn't concern
you. ♪ ...to break free ♪

♪ Waiting ♪

♪ I was waiting ♪

Second round of epi is in.
Are we ready?

Okay, here we go, Lesley.
♪ Waiting to break free ♪

♪ Waiting I was ♪

When's the last time
you did a C-section?

♪ Waiting ♪ This is just a normal
laparotomy with a... baby inside.

Did we page the NICU team
yet? They're on their way.

♪ Waiting to break free ♪ We have
seconds before we lose both of them.

We have a liver lac,

I need you to be on standby
with the laps.

Owen, you need to cut.

- Okay.
- Stopping compressions.

♪ Waiting ♪

♪ I was ♪
My turn. Stop CPR.

♪ Waiting... ♪
Retractor.

♪ ...to break free ♪

No response from Dr. DeLuca.

He left over an hour ago.

Should I not have
trusted him to go?

Suture scissors.

Okay.
So, why Switzerland?

What?
We have time to kill.

Why did you move to Switzerland?

I sort of ran away.
When my wife died.

Took my kids and went to the
furthest place I could think of.

Don't usually get a
laugh when I tell that one.

Uh, I'm sorry, it's just that
I did the same exact thing.

Where'd you run to?

San Diego.

No idea why.

Hmm.

When your husband died,
was it fast or was it slow?

Fast, very fast.

You?
Unbearably slow.

Years.

Everyone says it gets easier.

Well, it does and it doesn't.

I mean, the firsts are tough.

And just when you feel like
you're starting to heal...

First time Liam got
a stomach bug,

I nearly had to be committed.

15 years of medical training
out the window.

First anniversary,
first birthdays...

First kiss.

Haven't had that one yet.

Okay, I'm back.
I got it.

Here. Here.
I got it.

Dr. DeLuca,
tell me you wore gloves.

Okay. I wore gloves.

Let's page
Dr. Avery right now.

And let's prep
for this transplant!

Everyone is overexaggerating,
okay?

We're taking away resources from
actual patients that need us.

Stop.

Simms, I need a rewarming basin

set up at 100 degrees
with saline,

warming blanket,
and I want tPA on standby

just in case we end
up needing it. On it.

No. Stop.
This is ridiculous.

I need to treat patients.

You're not treating patients
like this.

W-Who are you gonna treat?
You're not a doctor right now.

Can... Can we get my sister
out of here, please?

DeLuca, I've been
doing this all day,

so I need you to listen close.

If you do not let me treat you
exactly the way I need to,

you will lose one or both
of your hands,

and your future as
a surgeon, okay?

So sit tight, shut the hell up,
and let me get you thawed out.

A rib has punctured
the pericardium.

It feels like one big clot.

She's tamponading...
the heart has no room to beat.

We're gonna have
to open her up. Metz.

How are you doing?
Okay. Where's that warmer?

Okay. Alright.

Okay, here we go.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, starting compressions.

Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on.

I'm gonna need a neonatal
intubation tray.

Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, come on.

I asked her not to
leave the house.

I asked her not to go.

Hey...

You know, pregnant women
have a stubborn streak.

Yeah, but this
isn't normal, right?

I mean, having heart surgery
and delivering a baby?

Have you ever seen this?

Y... I-I'll go check on her.

Hey, stay right here.

Her bleeding has stopped
with the shunt,

and we did a successful
transplant.

Her numbers are improving.

So... she's okay.
Elisa's okay?

She's gonna be okay.

We'd like to thank the doctor
who went out in the snow

to get the liver.
Do you know where he is?

Oh, he's warming up.

You've all been so...

Thank you. Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Oh, God.
Is there an update?

I just pulled a huge clot
out of her pericardium,

- and now I'm massaging...
- Wait, hold compressions.

Let's see if we have a rhythm.

Alright, let's pack her
and get her to the OR.

Uh, Hunt? Baby's intubated,
two rounds of epi.

Just hold on,
just... give it a second.

It's a girl.

Dear God.

You guys...

Okay.

Joey!

He brought them both back.

Awesome.

He's right, Hunt.
Everybody, this was awesome.

- It was, wasn't it?
- Oh!

Careful.

Avery's trying to
save DeLuca's hands

because he played outside
for too long.

How did you know I was out here?

A little blinking
beacon in my brain

tells me where you are
at all times.

That was creepy.
Even for me.

No, I... I came down
from the ER with cocoa,

and I saw you walk
out of trauma one.

Looked like
an unbelievable save.

Here. Here.

Thanks.

Everything okay?

Yeah, I'm just, uh...

I'm just, uh... trying
to quiet my mind.

You know, I've had this fear
for a couple months,

and I'm just, uh...

Just worried that it
might be coming true.

What's that?

Well, I'm just...

I'm worried that Owen is
the father of Amelia's baby.

Which is crazy,
probably, right? That...

But it... it...
I just... I can't shake it.

It's the first thing
that went through my mind

when I heard that Amelia
was pregnant.

W-Why... Why do you
think that is?

Because I'm broken, maybe?
Ah.

'Cause I can't trust that things
will work out 'cause...

Because maybe I'm afraid that...

that he'll always
be in love with Amelia.

That's a terrible feeling,

thinking somebody
you're in love with

is pining for someone else.

I mean... trust me, I know.

But, hey...

Come on. I...

I've seen Owen with you.

That man's clearly
in love with you.

It's seeping out of his
ruddy little pores.

Trust me, I'd be the first one

to tell you otherwise.

Mm.

You're a good man, Tom.

Oh, God.

You're the only person here
who thinks that.

I-I know people dislike me.

Strongly.

And I know I don't show it,
but, uh, I think I hate it.

And... they're all
part of a club,

and they won't have me join.

And I've been trying
for two years.

Well, I don't dislike you.

Hmm.

I'd even say I like you.

Hm.

A lot.
Hmm.

Hmm.

What are you doing?
What?

Oh, that look, I...
That look is...

No, there's no look!
You always have a look.

No. No look.

Oh.
There's no look.

♪ I went home ♪
I don't... No, that's... Oh, that...

Oh.

♪ And I stood in the garden
looking on ♪ Tom! Oh!

You are a dead man!

Don't. Don't!
You wait. Oh, yes.

Don't... Don't do it.
Don't...

♪ At where my dog
used to reside ♪

♪ And I started thinking about
your eyes ♪ These hands are insured!

Psych says that she's
not a flight risk,

so I moved her
surgery to tomorrow.

Thanks.

♪ Deep water ♪

♪ I walk in ♪
Ms. Gutierrez is okay.

You here to rub it in?

♪ And I cook with my mother once more ♪ No,
I'm here because after the surgery,

she asked where the doctor was

that had the nice things
to say about the animals.

♪ And she'll peel the onion ♪
Did you tell her I'm in a straitjacket?

I said that Dr. Desmond
was with another patient.

♪ And she'll ask me why
I never call ♪ Desmond.

Sounds like something
out of a soap opera.

♪ Why my pride only arrives
before I fall? ♪ I'm such an idiot.

My dream was to
be a surgeon, too.

Yeah, well, lucky you.

You really want to get into a
contest about obstacles with me?

♪ Oh, the man that I was ♪

What I was saying was my dream
was a lot harder

than it was for other people.

But I stuck with it,
and I made it come true.

♪ And the boy
that I have become ♪

If you can survive
four cancers...

♪ I wanna run ♪

...you can finish
med school.

♪ Just like the times before
and the times before ♪

You know why I asked you
to be my hands today?

Some teaching crap, I guess.

♪ Down that ancient corridor ♪

What is it?
Parkinson's?

♪ When I get home ♪

Yeah, it could be.

Or old age, I'm not sure.

♪ I'll throw my arms
'round my sister ♪

♪ And let her know... ♪
There are treatments for that now. Medications.

They're even working on
some brain surgeries that...

♪ ...that "I'm sorry I missed your birthday"♪
There's no treatment that can let me

keep doing what I love most.

♪ And I know that you raised
me and all ♪ This job defined me.

More than any relationship,
any illness.

♪ But we both watched that wine glass fall♪
And if I can't do it anymore, then...

You were right earlier,

this is the greatest job
on the planet.

♪ Oh, the man that I was ♪
And if I thought there was even a chance

that I could get
to operate again,

I would move heaven and earth
to make it happen.

So you can give up, but I can't?

♪ And the boy I have become ♪
No, there is a big difference

between throwing in the towel
after a fight

and before
the fight even started.

♪ I wanna run ♪

♪ Just like the times before
and the times before ♪

No, you... you can't.
♪ And you'll say ♪

Ah, I don't need it anymore.
♪ Where do you go wandering? ♪

♪ Well, I ♪

But I really hope you do.
♪ I am the only son of the falling snow ♪

And this will help with the
pain. It doesn't hurt, actually.

It will. I mean, none of
your blisters are open now,

but there's a very strong chance

I'm gonna need to
debride in the OR.

And, DeLuca,
I can't stress this enough...

the next 12 hours are critical.

- Thank you.
- Thank you. -Mm-hmm.

I'm not really in the mood
for visitors.

Andrew, that little girl
is alive because of you.

So I just wanted
you to know that.

I do know that.

And I also know that
if you'd had it your way,

I wouldn't have gone out there,

and that little girl
would be dead.

So I guess you're thanking me
for not listening to you.

Andrea, we were just
worried about you.

Okay, this is just
like when Papa...

I'm not him, okay?!
I'm not him!

For the first time in my career,

I'm succeeding on my own,
without anybody's help.

Why can't you just be happy
for me and accept that?

Why... Why... Why you do
you always got to accuse me

of... of not being well?
Because there's a history...

Okay, well I don't accuse you
of having Alzheimer's

every time you
forget something, do I?

You know, you can go, Meredith.

Please, just... just leave.

Sorry. I had
a couple of fires to put out.

That's a chief's job.

Did the baby's mom make it?

She did.
Lesley's in the ICU.

Was that woman right?

This doesn't usually happen?

It definitely does not.

That might have been the coolest
thing I've ever seen.

Me, too.

Hey, c-come home with me.

With my family.

What?
Come to my house.

Stay while you finish
high school,

while we fill out
your college applications.

And after you've been
away at school,

come back and eat
Thanksgiving dinner

and... and do your laundry.

And maybe talk about
what career you want.

Look, I don't need money
from the county.

That's not what this is about.

I have an extra room,
extra food,

extra... love to give.

I...

I have a son who loves
to play video games.

And a husband who... will
understand eventually.

You're serious?

When have you known me
to not to be serious?

Yeah.

Yeah.
I'd like that.

You...

Okay. Yeah.

Okay.

Alright.

Thank you.
Thank you so much.

Hi.

I've seen her, sweetheart.

I've seen our little girl.

And she is...

she is so you.

Can I give this to you?

Thank you.

Maggie, I have
a favor to ask you.

Sure...

I know that Amelia just took
some personal time.

And I know that Link is having
a terrible time with it.

And I... I know that

I have this feeling
that I can't shake,

but has something to do
with Owen.

I know that you're
Amelia's sister,

and that your allegiance
is to her,

and I deeply respect that.

And I'm not asking you to tell
me everything that you know,

but I am asking you...

Am I crazy?

Am I seeing things that...
that... that aren't there?

You're not crazy.

- Hey.
- Ah.

Uh, the rigs got the all-clear,
so I just...

we just dropped off the guy
with the amputated foot.

Uh, JJ gave birth at the station
in the bathroom.

Wow, that's, um...

But she's good.
She's good, and the baby's good.

So...
I'm sorry, Vic.

I'm... Look, I'm sorry
we had our first fight.

I'm sorry I...

God, I'm too tired to remember.

But I... I am sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

It was stupid.

I'm pretty sure
I was stupid, but...

Not touching that.
Yeah.

I know better than that.

Meet you at your place?
Yeah.

We could have our second fight.

Oh, it's too soon.

Find your patient?

Yeah, and she got to do
more medicine than I did

because she impersonated
a surgeon.

She could have killed somebody.

Nico, you're silencing me
with sex.

And it's really amazing sex,
but it's becoming all we do.

And I understand if
you're not ready

to talk about your parents.

But I want a relationship,
not an impersonation.

And this... it doesn't
feel real.

Okay, look.

Uh, Levi...

I'm not you.

I don't like talking
about feelings,

I don't like to "dive deep."

I like to show up
and just... be together.

And I accept all
your feelings talk

and whatever, all of you.

I accept you.

I don't try to change you.

But you can't stop
trying to change me.

So, this is all I have to give.
This right here, Levi...

This is who I am.

And if I'm really
not enough for you, then...

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

Don't go.

I love you.

I... I accept you.
Don't go.

♪ My hands are cold,
but steady ♪

♪ I hold my breath ♪
Hey.

♪ When the air gets heavy ♪

♪ Looking for a sign ♪

♪ Before I lose my grip ♪ Okay,
no need to take it out on the door,

I'm coming, I'm coming,
coming, coming, coming.

Hold on.
♪ This is how it goes ♪

Oh.

♪ This is how it goes ♪
I was just kidding. I, uh...

I love the way you knock.

Never change...

♪ This is how it goes ♪

♪ This is how ♪

♪ This is how ♪ Right after a storm,
I would run outside.

♪ This is how it goes ♪ Whether it
was the air or the fresh blanket of snow...

♪ I need something to believe
in ♪ ...it always felt magical.

Or new.

Hey.
Hey.

Finally stopped snowing,
so I ran out

and made an executive
decision about dinner.

Oh. Chicken noodle
soup from Harry's.

♪ I need something worth the kneeling
♪ You know, with the bagel chips you like.

Oh, wait, wait.

Ben.

Are you, uh...

♪ This is how it goes ♪
Everything okay?

Everything's great!

Oh, there we go.
Um...

♪ This is how it goes ♪
Is that Joey?

Is he wearing my clothes?

♪ This is how it goes ♪

Uh, so we should talk.

♪ This is how ♪

♪ This is how ♪

♪ This is how it goes ♪ But as beautiful
as it is, the snow starts to melt.

♪ I'm ready ♪

♪ And I don't want
to fight anymore ♪

♪ This is how it goes ♪

Misery loves company, so...

I brought donuts...

and despair.

Jo?

I...

I thought you were him.

I'm sorry.

He left me.

No, he didn't.

I think he did.

I think he woke up one day

and felt the need to
escape his life and me.

I called his mom.

He wasn't there.

He'd never been there.

He left me.

And now I can't...

I can't...

I can't breathe.

And you're suddenly standing
in dirty slush... I can't breathe.

...frozen and unable to
feel anything at all.

But after enough time,
even that disappears.

Hey.

Hey.

Where you off to?

Home to hug my boys,

spoil them rotten
just because they're alive.

♪ And it's always on her mind ♪
You?

Same.

Hmm.

♪ She cries at the news
when the shots ring out ♪

Grey.
♪ Every single time ♪

Dr. DeLuca,
who is he to you?

♪ And, no, I cannot fix it ♪

♪ No, I cannot make it stop ♪

♪ So I said,
"Turn your phone off" ♪

He's one of my firsts.
♪ "Only look me in my eyes" ♪

He's the first man that I said

"I love you" to after my husband. ♪
"Can we live that real life, real life?"

♪ Oh, hey, "Turn your phone off,
only look me in the eyes" ♪ Hmm.

Was it good?

♪ "Can we live, yeah, real life, real
life?" To say I love you to someone new?

Yeah, I...

It was.

It was good.

It was really good.

I've been, um...

♪ I wish I had the answers ♪

It's been lonely.

You know?

I've never met anyone like me.
♪ Something you could hold to ♪

Widowed so young.

It's nice.

♪ Only thing that's real
to me is you ♪

It helps.

To have a friend.

It helps me, too.

The ground thaws,
the days get longer,

and though you could
never imagine it,

you start to feel again.

Good night, Hayes.
♪ "Turn your phone off ♪

♪ Only look me in my eyes ♪

♪ Can we live that real life,
real life?" ♪

She talked about having a "twisted
sister." ♪ Oh, hey, "Turn your phone off" ♪

Yang did.
♪ "Only look me in my eyes" ♪

I'm guessing that's you?

♪ "Can we live that real life,
real life?"

♪ Oh, hey ♪

♪ Real life, real life ♪
It surprises me every time.

♪ Oh, hey ♪