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1
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,912
I can't believe Dad's
kicking us out of the house...
2
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:13,814
...just to watch some stupid movie.
3
00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:15,282
Oh, it's okay, honey.
4
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:19,120
You and I are gonna have
a terrific time at this strip show.
5
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:23,290
It'll be just like your 12th birthday
all over again.
6
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:27,428
Okay, but this time
you're the designated driver.
7
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:29,630
All right, let's check our equipment.
8
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:32,133
-Ones and fives.
-Check.
9
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:35,136
-Wesson oil.
-Check.
10
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:38,639
A driver's license,
just in case I get carded.
11
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:41,041
That's a good one, Mom.
12
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:45,279
I mean, check.
13
00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,926
It was a bad day today, Peg.
14
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:03,197
One minute, the biggest woman
in the world was in front of me.
15
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:07,868
I was trying to wedge a size four
on her foot with my lucky shoehorn...
16
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,638
...the next minute, she was gone.
17
00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:13,674
The woman died in your store?
18
00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:17,111
Not the woman, Peg, the shoehorn.
19
00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:20,381
Look at it, Peg.
20
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:24,585
Crushed like a beer can
at a Raiders game.
21
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,188
I'll tell you, Peg...
22
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:31,525
...the only thing that kept me going
was knowing that tonight is the night.
23
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,494
Oh, don't worry, honey.
24
00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:37,131
We will be gone
by the time your little movie starts.
25
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:40,634
Death Wish 6 is not a little movie.
26
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,803
It is a once-in-a-lifetime...
27
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:47,107
...3-D, splatter-vision,
pay-per-view event.
28
00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:58,552
Guys...
29
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,060
...I need the house to myself tonight.
30
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:08,462
My pen pal, Starla,
just got out of prison...
31
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,831
...and she's coming here to see me.
32
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,399
What does she look like?
33
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:15,436
Supposedly, like Cindy Crawford,
but who cares?
34
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:19,240
She's under 30 and hasn't
been touched by a man in years.
35
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:22,576
Oh, she's just like me.
36
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:26,914
Except that your crimes continue
to go unpunished.
37
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,583
Go away.
38
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,186
Dad, Starla and I need some privacy.
39
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:34,788
She's gonna do a body search.
40
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,992
And I've hidden things.
41
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:42,429
You all have exactly 12 and a half
minutes to vacate the premises.
42
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:45,633
I have every movement timed
down to the final second...
43
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,468
...including this one.
44
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:54,475
Come on, Mom, let's go.
45
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:57,511
We want to get a pole-side table,
don't we?
46
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,281
Wait a minute, honey.
Come help me find my punch card.
47
00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:03,250
I think I'm due a free lap dance.
48
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:15,829
I'm looking for Bud Bundy.
49
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,498
I'm Bud.
50
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,900
And you must be Starla?
51
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:23,103
You don't look like Brad Pitt.
52
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,942
And you don't look like
Cindy Crawford either.
53
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,610
No.
54
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,345
But I've got a gun.
55
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,581
This is a holdup.
56
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:37,051
-Come on.
-I hope you don't think I'm weird...
57
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,753
...but this is kind of turning me on
a little bit.
58
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,789
Sicko.
59
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,859
You told me you lived
in a French provincial estate.
60
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,262
My cell is nicer than this dump.
61
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:51,498
Starla, I lied to you because I knew
I wasn't good enough for you.
62
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,567
And we don't--
We don't have any money.
63
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,737
And I don't play for the Bulls either.
64
00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:00,040
I ought to beat you up.
65
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,210
Would you mind
putting on a nightie first?
66
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,947
All right, guys. Oh, hey. Bye.
67
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,682
Oh, good, your friend came.
68
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,851
-You guys have a great time.
-Hey, hey, hey.
69
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,288
I'm on the run,
I've got nothing to lose.
70
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:17,992
Either you and your sisters cooperate,
or someone's gonna get hurt.
71
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:19,960
Sisters?
72
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:23,697
I like her.
73
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:03,537
Mom, I'm scared.
74
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:06,407
Don't worry, honey. She doesn't know
that Daddy's upstairs.
75
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,542
He's our secret weapon.
76
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,945
Yeah, if he leaves
the bathroom door open.
77
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,181
Yoo-hoo.
78
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:18,052
What are you doing?
I told you to wait in the car.
79
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,620
Thought you might need help...
80
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,989
...carrying that picnic lunch
your friends made.
81
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:25,592
Howdy, I'm Lonnie.
I'm Starla's boyfriend.
82
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:28,629
Starla, where did you get that gun?
83
00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:30,898
Wake up, Jethro.
84
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,768
She's escaped from prison.
85
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:39,440
She didn't escape.
I was right there, picking her up.
86
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:43,110
They let her out that special
drainpipe exit in the woods.
87
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:46,547
So the media wouldn't harass her.
88
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,016
Mom...
89
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:52,553
...I can't believe she dumped me
for this guy.
90
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,421
He's a total moron.
91
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:06,967
Now, we're gonna need a getaway car.
We are taking the Porsche.
92
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:09,570
No, not the Porsche.
93
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:10,971
Give Lonnie the keys.
94
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,415
Thank you.
95
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,350
I'm Kelly.
96
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:26,787
The garage is through that door.
97
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:38,232
Now, we're gonna need some food
for the road.
98
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,933
You.
99
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,269
Go cook us something.
100
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:47,441
You animal.
101
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,644
Don't think about
trying to poison us either.
102
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,280
Yeah, she doesn't have
to think about it...
103
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:55,282
...it just sort of happens.
104
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:58,385
All right. It's okay, Mom,
that's okay, it's okay.
105
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:05,626
Now, I may not be
the best mechanic in town...
106
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,428
...but I'm pretty sure
that's not a Porsche.
107
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,733
May not even be a car.
108
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,203
He's so smart.
109
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:21,542
It's Jefferson. Is anyone home?
110
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:22,843
That's our neighbor.
111
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:26,113
You better surrender now
because he used to be with the CIA...
112
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,048
...and he is a trained killer.
113
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:42,262
Sorry to just "barge" in.
114
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,999
Oh, Marcy and I had to show you
our costumes.
115
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:49,303
We're going
on a charity masquerade cruise.
116
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:54,775
Little Bo Peep
has lost her sheep and--
117
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:58,178
Oh, sorry, I didn't know
you had company.
118
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:01,582
Wow, are you guys going
on the cruise too?
119
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:04,751
What great costumes.
Wait, let me guess.
120
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:08,188
Grease monkey and...
121
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:11,158
...psychotic trailer trash, right?
122
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,095
-Marcy--
-Oh, I love your props.
123
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:17,564
They're so lifelike.
124
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:21,034
Eat lead, street scum.
125
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:24,004
-Shoot her.
-Shoot her.
126
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,607
Bang, bang, you're dead.
127
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,709
This is such fun. There you go.
128
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,644
Don't give her the gun.
129
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:34,281
No, fun is busting a cap
in Little Bo Peep's ass.
130
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:38,118
Marcy, this is Starla.
131
00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:40,921
She's broken out of prison,
and she's here to rob us.
132
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:42,723
Of what?
133
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,726
Everybody in the corner.
134
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,728
Jefferson, do something.
135
00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:49,429
Okay.
136
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,400
Exactly which corner would you like?
Right.
137
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,269
Everybody, shut up, I gotta think.
138
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:58,605
Yeah, Starla really surprised me
with this whole thing.
139
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:01,975
I didn't even have time
to learn how to speak Canadian.
140
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,678
Yeah, I know what you mean.
141
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:08,382
I always wanted to go to Australia,
but I don't speak a word of Australian.
142
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:12,019
Oh, except for "koala."
143
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,156
I love koalas.
144
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,592
I got one tattooed on my....
145
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:23,096
Starla doesn't like it.
She says it makes me look cheap.
146
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,032
What are you doing
with her anyway?
147
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,834
I mean, don't you think
she's kind of trampy?
148
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,404
Well, that's my type.
149
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:34,408
Besides, Starla said it'd be real hard
for me to find another girlfriend...
150
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,076
...on account of how ugly I am.
151
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,179
Get away from her.
152
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,281
She's very moody.
153
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,885
We have got to get
the gun away from her.
154
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:48,422
Now, we need someone big
and strong and expendable.
155
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,457
Where is your father?
156
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:53,427
Hey, you told me
your father was dead.
157
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,162
That's right, he died.
158
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:02,135
Before he could fix the plumbing.
159
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,738
Old Charles Bronson had a gun
160
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,407
Eee-eye-eee-eye-oh
161
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:10,210
With this gun he killed some scum
162
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:11,345
Eee-eye-eee-eye--
163
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,846
Oh.
164
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,817
You're from the cable company,
aren't you?
165
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,520
Al, she's not from
the cable company.
166
00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:23,523
She's Bud's pen pal,
and she's come here to rob us.
167
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:27,294
You see, that's why we don't allow you
to have friends, Bud.
168
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:33,233
Now, listen, you're obviously
disappointed in Bud. We are too.
169
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:36,069
But, you see,
I already paid for this movie...
170
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:41,274
...and I had to buy a 200-ounce
bladder buster to get these here.
171
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,343
So why don't you just go--
172
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:46,446
Oh, my God.
173
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:48,949
My baby.
174
00:10:56,823 --> 00:11:00,427
Oh, why, why, why?
175
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:05,365
Poor Clicky.
176
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:11,104
So young and so many
channels left to change.
177
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:15,175
Oh, yeah, big, tough broad picking on
a helpless little remote, aren't you?
178
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:18,145
Wouldn't be tough without that gun,
would you?
179
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,647
No, you idiot, that's why I've got it.
180
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:22,549
Kind of what I said, isn't it?
181
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:29,790
Oh, Al, I'm afraid. Hold me.
182
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:31,691
Peg, Peg, my life's in danger here...
183
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,694
...it's important I maintain
my will to live.
184
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,299
Okay, Dad...
185
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:42,569
...we've got to come up with a plan.
What would Charles Bronson do?
186
00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,638
Well, he'd usually
go on a revenge spree...
187
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,507
...after his loved ones
were brutally slaughtered.
188
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,710
-Think of something else.
-All right.
189
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,512
All right, I've come up with a plan.
190
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,115
It's dangerous and risky,
I'll need a volunteer.
191
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:56,750
-Croquet injury.
-Stubbed my toe.
192
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,051
Thanks a lot.
193
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,320
Lucky. Lucky, here, boy.
194
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,756
Go get the cops, go get the cops.
195
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,524
Good boy.
196
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:08,361
What a good dog.
Loyal, strong and brave.
197
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:15,368
We may need an alternate plan.
198
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:16,603
I've got another idea.
199
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:22,442
Are you going to command a squadron
of flies from your hamper to attack?
200
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:27,214
If I could command those flies,
do you think you'd still be alive?
201
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:31,084
Al, please do something.
202
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,619
I'm about to, Peg.
203
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:35,589
I'm toting around 200 ounces
of Mr. Pibb.
204
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,792
Hey, girlie...
205
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,561
...mind if I hit the can?
206
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:44,164
All right. Lonnie, go with him.
207
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:46,900
Lonnie, where the hell are you?
208
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,035
Still looking for that Porsche.
209
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,507
Were you back there with Lonnie?
210
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,976
Kelly, are you crazy?
211
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,578
You guys, we were just talking.
212
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,715
We happen to have a lot in common.
213
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:05,685
We both hate green eggs and ham,
but we think the book is pretty funny.
214
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,021
Now, remember...
215
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:14,060
...no matter how she threatens us,
do not tell her about the Mercedes.
216
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,263
Hey, what are you whispering about?
217
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:19,232
We have a Mercedes next door.
Take it, here are the keys.
218
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,035
No, I won't let you.
219
00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:29,276
-Give me the keys.
-No, Starla.
220
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:32,412
You know, it's not too late
to turn your life around.
221
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:36,650
So you were gonna blow away
the Bundys. What's that, a $10 fine?
222
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,885
But grand theft auto...
223
00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:40,487
...you're better than that.
224
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:44,124
Inside you is a confused,
misunderstood person...
225
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:48,361
...who doesn't need a Mercedes,
just a second chance.
226
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:51,631
Yeah, I'll think that over
when I'm ditching your car in a lake.
227
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:53,934
I hope you fry!
228
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,903
There's not enough voltage
in Illinois...
229
00:13:57,070 --> 00:14:00,540
...and I'm gonna shave your head
when they strap you to the hot--
230
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:05,212
Now, everybody,
down on the floor, now!
231
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:09,916
Do you know how long it's been
since these floors were washed?
232
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,421
Come on, Lonnie,
we gotta make a break for it.
233
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:16,089
What's going on?
234
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:19,859
"Cotton balls" over there handed
over the keys to their Mercedes.
235
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,862
They're wool.
236
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,067
Mercedes.
237
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,501
That's a good idea.
238
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,670
May I suggest you take a hostage
with you?
239
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,973
Perhaps the registered owner
of the car.
240
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,576
That would be her.
241
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,283
Before you go, one thing.
Did you and the girls ever pass time...
242
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:45,885
...by spanking each other
with license plates?
243
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,124
Oh, I'm really gonna miss you.
244
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:59,666
I said cops, not crops.
245
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:06,106
Is it me, or is that dog really stupid?
246
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:11,011
Yeah, but, you know,
he's kind of cute.
247
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:19,919
We're out of here.
248
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:23,790
-Al, has the movie started?
-Hit the floor, butt head!
249
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:31,097
Oh, man, I missed the beginning.
250
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,333
Damn.
251
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:39,039
This 3-D is incredible.
252
00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:42,242
Take off the glasses, Griff.
253
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,813
Sorry, wrong house.
254
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,849
That Negro family,
where do they live? Next door?
255
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,519
Sit down and shut up.
256
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:06,232
Didn't you see the "Help" sign
I hung out of the bathroom window?
257
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:10,136
Al, you've been hanging "Help" signs
ever since I've known you.
258
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,406
I'm not really good
at writing letters...
259
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:16,609
...especially the capital ones...
260
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:19,713
-...but for you, I'll do anything--
-Lonnie, move your ass!
261
00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:22,582
I will see you losers in hell.
262
00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:27,487
Super-premium unleaded only,
please.
263
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:31,758
Jefferson, I feel so violated.
264
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:33,793
Me too.
265
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:51,644
-Is everybody okay?
-Yeah, I--
266
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,246
Then get out.
267
00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:02,622
All right, get down and shut up.
Oh, this sucks.
268
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:05,825
The minute I set foot in this dump,
my life went straight to hell.
269
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:07,994
So did mine.
270
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:13,333
Hello?
271
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,468
It's the police.
272
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:18,638
Yeah, Starla's here,
but she's busy holding us hostage...
273
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,940
...but can I take a message?
274
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,943
-Just give me the phone.
-What?
275
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:26,379
Hello? This is Bud Bundy.
276
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,615
Yeah, the guy with the dolls.
277
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,387
Now, listen up, pigs.
278
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:38,191
I want a car to the airport,
I want a plane to Brazil...
279
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:41,060
...and $50,000 cash.
280
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:44,097
I demand the same thing.
281
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:53,440
And I need more Mountain Dew.
282
00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:00,146
Oh, Lord, I've never been in trouble
with the police before.
283
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,414
Yeah, me neither.
284
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:05,185
Well, except for graduation night
at the academy.
285
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:09,122
Kelly, there's something
I've been meaning to tell you...
286
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:11,324
...for several minutes.
287
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,993
You make me feel all funny...
288
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,363
...like my insides turned into
whipped cream.
289
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:22,101
Well, when I look at you, my--
My legs turn to Jell-O.
290
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,505
You know, whipped cream and Jell-O,
they go real good together.
291
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:28,408
Oh, you're making me hungry.
292
00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:31,177
Come out with your hands up.
293
00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:34,948
Well, that's it.
I am gonna start offing people.
294
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,585
Then you're gonna have to off me first,
Starla, because we're finished.
295
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,420
I don't want a life of crime.
296
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,589
But you want a life of trash?
297
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:46,926
If that trash's name is Kelly Bundy,
then yes, ma'am, I do.
298
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,933
I love you, Kelly.
299
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,239
You happy now, Peg?
300
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:03,343
You drove both our children
into the arms of criminals.
301
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:07,547
Well, I just wanted them
to do better than I did.
302
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,649
Lonnie...
303
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,752
...I don't usually say this
fully clothed...
304
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,988
...but I love you too.
305
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,358
Oh, well, thank you very much,
blondie.
306
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:21,895
You made it real easy for me
to decide who's getting it first.
307
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:23,162
Starla, no!
308
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:36,876
Al's been hit.
309
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:38,444
Al, say something.
310
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:39,712
Get out of the way.
311
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,247
I know CPR.
312
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,683
I'm fine.
313
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,486
I'm fine.
314
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,888
Oh, Al, we thought you were shot.
315
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:51,457
Well, I was, Peg.
316
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:56,296
I think my little lucky shoehorn
must have had a little luck left.
317
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,035
All right, we're here.
318
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:07,073
Sir, please dismount the suspect.
319
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:10,843
Sir!
320
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,080
-All right.
-Get off!
321
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,848
You saved my life.
322
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:18,084
Move, Dad!
323
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,054
Hey, Kelly, who's gonna have...
324
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,290
...the imprint of a shoehorn
in his chest the rest of his life?
325
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:27,894
Daddy, this is no time for riddles,
okay?
326
00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:29,862
Lonnie almost died.
327
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:31,097
Let's go, dirtbags.
328
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,298
Wait, wait.
329
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,234
Can we still be pen pals?
330
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,170
Oh, what the hell.
331
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,539
Write to me in care of the hole.
332
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:41,441
Wait, wait!
333
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:45,511
Kelly, this is not how I dreamt
of this moment.
334
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:49,349
But neither could I have dreamt
of meeting someone as beautiful...
335
00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:52,652
...and perfect and smart as you.
336
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:54,687
Kelly Bundy...
337
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:56,122
...will you marry me?
338
00:20:57,890 --> 00:20:59,892
I thought you'd never ask.
339
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,964
-I'll wait for you.
-I will too, my darling.
340
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:09,636
No matter whose wife I am in prison,
I'll always be your husband.
341
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:19,979
That is the sweetest thing
I've ever heard.
342
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:23,149
Oh, Al, our little girl's
getting married.
343
00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:26,352
Isn't life wonderful?
344
00:21:26,853 --> 00:21:28,955
Damn you.
25527
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