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1
00:00:01,494 --> 00:00:03,063
Hey, Ma.
2
00:00:03,661 --> 00:00:04,862
Hey, you guys...
3
00:00:05,027 --> 00:00:07,930
...I think we haven't been paying
enough attention to Lucky.
4
00:00:08,328 --> 00:00:10,096
Who's Lucky?
5
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:13,364
Any guy who goes out on a date
with Kelly.
6
00:00:18,261 --> 00:00:21,331
Well, hasn't anyone else noticed
that he seems kind of depressed?
7
00:00:21,494 --> 00:00:23,763
Well, what makes you think
something like that?
8
00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:04,164
-Now, easy. Easy now.
-I'm going, I'm--
9
00:01:04,329 --> 00:01:06,264
-Watch it.
-We're gonna have so much fun...
10
00:01:06,429 --> 00:01:07,730
...with this damn thing, Bud.
11
00:01:09,262 --> 00:01:12,131
Watch it. You're gonna nick
the side of the box.
12
00:01:12,295 --> 00:01:14,798
You are never gonna get
that big, stupid thing in here.
13
00:01:14,963 --> 00:01:18,233
That's what I said when I carried you
over the threshold.
14
00:01:19,462 --> 00:01:22,498
Hi, neighbors. Look, we brought you
some things to munch--
15
00:01:23,562 --> 00:01:26,899
-Hey. Hey.
-Watch it. I'll kill you for that!
16
00:01:29,729 --> 00:01:32,432
Told you we should've used
the feed pole.
17
00:01:33,296 --> 00:01:36,366
Well, enjoy. And there's plenty more
where that came from.
18
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:40,934
All you have to do is stay inside
the entire weekend, okay?
19
00:01:41,096 --> 00:01:42,731
Why?
20
00:01:44,363 --> 00:01:47,533
Well, my cousin Mandy
is coming for a visit.
21
00:01:47,697 --> 00:01:49,565
And how can I put this nicely?
22
00:01:49,730 --> 00:01:52,499
I don't want her
to be repulsed by you.
23
00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:55,365
You know, not that you're repulsive.
24
00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:05,131
Enough said.
25
00:02:06,363 --> 00:02:08,899
But, you know, it's been years
since I've seen Mandy...
26
00:02:09,064 --> 00:02:10,765
...and we were once very close.
27
00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:13,099
In fact, we're identical.
28
00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:16,233
So she's as obnoxious as you?
29
00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:19,533
Identical cousins.
There's no such thing.
30
00:02:19,697 --> 00:02:21,332
Well, sure there is.
31
00:02:21,496 --> 00:02:24,800
Samantha and Serena,
Patty and Cathy.
32
00:02:24,964 --> 00:02:26,098
Exactly.
33
00:02:26,264 --> 00:02:30,868
We walk alike, we talk alike
Sometimes we even something alike
34
00:02:32,030 --> 00:02:35,300
So there's another one out there
exactly like you?
35
00:02:35,863 --> 00:02:37,899
Well, not exactly.
36
00:02:38,064 --> 00:02:40,132
I am a little prettier.
37
00:02:40,964 --> 00:02:44,634
If she's the pretty one,
imagine what the cousin looks like.
38
00:02:45,264 --> 00:02:47,933
Do you see I'm trying to eat here?
39
00:02:49,464 --> 00:02:51,600
Watch it now. Watch it now. Watch it.
40
00:02:51,764 --> 00:02:55,201
He fakes, he shoots, he scores!
I win again.
41
00:02:55,364 --> 00:02:57,766
Relax, Dad. It's just foosball.
42
00:02:57,931 --> 00:02:59,800
Just foosball, son?
43
00:03:00,030 --> 00:03:02,700
This is the greatest invention
ever made.
44
00:03:03,031 --> 00:03:06,235
Edward Foos
was a boy with a dream.
45
00:03:06,764 --> 00:03:09,367
A dream to invent a game
that everyone can enjoy...
46
00:03:09,531 --> 00:03:12,133
...no matter how out of shape
or drunk you are.
47
00:03:14,464 --> 00:03:16,866
The boy's not right, Peg.
48
00:03:17,062 --> 00:03:20,128
I knew that the day we dropped him
on his head and he didn't scream.
49
00:03:20,128 --> 00:03:20,365
I knew that the day we dropped him
on his head and he didn't scream.
50
00:03:26,332 --> 00:03:27,933
-Hi, I'm Man--
-Nice wig, Marce.
51
00:03:28,098 --> 00:03:30,834
Hey, Peg, look here. The fifth Beatle.
52
00:03:36,465 --> 00:03:40,236
I'm not Marcy.
I'm Mandy, Marcy's cousin.
53
00:03:42,098 --> 00:03:45,201
You and Marcy
really do look alike.
54
00:03:45,365 --> 00:03:47,500
You think so?
I know I'm no supermodel...
55
00:03:47,665 --> 00:03:50,368
...but I never really thought
I looked like a chicken.
56
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,900
I like her.
57
00:03:53,298 --> 00:03:56,101
Marcy and Jefferson
went to meet you at the airport.
58
00:03:56,498 --> 00:03:58,534
Well, my flight was early,
so I took a cab.
59
00:03:58,699 --> 00:04:01,902
-You mind if I wait here?
-No, not at all. Not at all.
60
00:04:02,066 --> 00:04:04,001
Of course, here in the Windy City...
61
00:04:04,165 --> 00:04:08,236
...it's customary to tip people
who let you into their home.
62
00:04:09,765 --> 00:04:11,767
You must be Al.
63
00:04:12,099 --> 00:04:14,468
Sadly, he must.
64
00:04:15,132 --> 00:04:17,668
Hey, foosball. You any good?
65
00:04:17,865 --> 00:04:20,335
Is your cousin flat-chested?
66
00:04:21,765 --> 00:04:23,400
Oh, score!
67
00:04:23,565 --> 00:04:24,766
I'm ahead.
68
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:28,502
Lucky shot. That was a lucky shot.
69
00:04:29,099 --> 00:04:30,901
-Now can I play?
-Not now, Peg.
70
00:04:31,066 --> 00:04:33,468
Score! I win.
71
00:04:33,966 --> 00:04:36,368
We couldn't find my cousin at--
72
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:39,836
-Mandy!
-Marcy!
73
00:04:45,666 --> 00:04:50,104
-You look great.
-So do you.
74
00:04:50,366 --> 00:04:51,701
What are you doing here?
75
00:04:52,433 --> 00:04:53,867
We didn't go out. She came in.
76
00:04:54,032 --> 00:04:57,636
Which reminds me, we're--
We're out of onion dip.
77
00:04:57,967 --> 00:05:03,038
Mandy, this is my Jefferson.
78
00:05:03,566 --> 00:05:06,469
Don't you wish you had one
just like him?
79
00:05:06,633 --> 00:05:09,502
You mean
there's another one of him too?
80
00:05:10,466 --> 00:05:13,302
Wow, you're even better looking
than Marcy said.
81
00:05:13,466 --> 00:05:14,901
Oh, so are you.
82
00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:20,269
Honey, why did you say
you were the pretty one?
83
00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:25,370
Come on now.
We're right in the middle of a game.
84
00:05:26,133 --> 00:05:27,935
Marcy...
85
00:05:28,334 --> 00:05:32,771
...if you guys are identical,
how come she has...?
86
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,635
Implants.
87
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:37,102
Really?
88
00:05:39,234 --> 00:05:41,035
Not that I like...
89
00:05:41,234 --> 00:05:42,868
...big, luscious breasts.
90
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:47,503
They just get in the way.
91
00:05:49,734 --> 00:05:53,171
Those pills the vet gave Lucky
really have pepped him up.
92
00:05:54,367 --> 00:05:57,837
Don't you think
that he's a little bit too hyper?
93
00:06:00,968 --> 00:06:04,738
No. No, he's fine.
94
00:06:04,901 --> 00:06:07,170
Hey, he's burying a bone.
95
00:06:13,134 --> 00:06:16,104
You know, we should give
some of those pills to Mom.
96
00:06:16,268 --> 00:06:19,771
I did. How do you think
she got off the couch?
97
00:06:22,634 --> 00:06:25,303
-Hey.
-Hi. Hi, Peggy.
98
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,270
I got your bonbons.
99
00:06:27,435 --> 00:06:32,607
Guess what. I am making Jefferson
his favorite supper tonight.
100
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:36,504
-Why?
-Because if a wife doesn't do it...
101
00:06:36,668 --> 00:06:39,972
...then some other woman might
come along and steal him away.
102
00:06:40,134 --> 00:06:43,738
Even someone you least expect,
you know, like a cousin.
103
00:06:45,168 --> 00:06:48,471
You know, a cousin that all the boys
like best because she's such fun.
104
00:06:48,635 --> 00:06:51,705
Boys like Jimmy Miller, who showed
Mandy his baseball cards...
105
00:06:51,868 --> 00:06:54,871
...and played keep away
with little Marcy's undershirt.
106
00:06:55,735 --> 00:06:57,503
Marcy, I'm really worried.
107
00:06:57,668 --> 00:07:01,339
Maybe we shouldn't have let Mandy
spend the day with Al and Jefferson.
108
00:07:01,768 --> 00:07:03,070
Why, Peggy Bundy.
109
00:07:03,236 --> 00:07:06,272
If I didn't know better,
I'd say you were jealous.
110
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,403
What a game.
111
00:07:09,568 --> 00:07:12,738
-What was the final score?
-Thirty-seven to 14.
112
00:07:12,902 --> 00:07:15,004
That doesn't sound
like a baseball score.
113
00:07:15,169 --> 00:07:18,005
It's not. That's how many beers
and hot dogs we had...
114
00:07:18,169 --> 00:07:20,905
...before we decided
to pants Jefferson.
115
00:07:21,902 --> 00:07:23,003
Yeah, you kidders.
116
00:07:23,169 --> 00:07:26,772
Luckily, it was Souvenir Towel Day
at the ballpark.
117
00:07:26,935 --> 00:07:29,438
Hey, Marce, got you a T-shirt.
118
00:07:29,768 --> 00:07:33,105
-Keep away!
-Keep away from Marcy!
119
00:07:36,836 --> 00:07:38,738
Mandy! Mandy! Mandy!
120
00:07:38,902 --> 00:07:41,605
-Mandy! Mandy!
-Mandy! Mandy!
121
00:07:41,769 --> 00:07:44,906
You guys are so immature!
122
00:07:45,069 --> 00:07:47,504
Give it back or I'm telling.
123
00:07:52,903 --> 00:07:56,106
Hey, look what Jefferson gave me.
He caught a foul ball.
124
00:07:56,269 --> 00:08:00,006
Well, actually, it was a home-run ball,
but, you know, no big deal.
125
00:08:00,170 --> 00:08:03,807
He's been trying to catch one
of those his whole life. Excuse me.
126
00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,571
Al, new deal.
127
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:09,873
How would you like
a nice juicy pot roast for supper?
128
00:08:10,036 --> 00:08:11,471
With those little potatoes?
129
00:08:11,636 --> 00:08:14,339
And biscuits and gravy....
130
00:08:14,503 --> 00:08:15,504
What do I gotta do?
131
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:18,706
All you have to do
is keep Mandy away from Jefferson...
132
00:08:18,869 --> 00:08:20,538
...until she leaves tomorrow.
133
00:08:20,703 --> 00:08:21,704
I can do that.
134
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,539
Mandy, you wanna stay
for dinner tonight?
135
00:08:24,703 --> 00:08:27,772
Jefferson and I need a little
alone time. Come on, honey.
136
00:08:27,936 --> 00:08:30,906
Wait, you know, I think I'll just stay
and hang out with Mandy.
137
00:08:31,070 --> 00:08:33,105
Or I could come now.
138
00:08:34,837 --> 00:08:35,905
Hey, Peg...
139
00:08:36,070 --> 00:08:39,573
...how would you like a pot roast
dinner tonight with all the fixings?
140
00:08:39,737 --> 00:08:42,006
-Where are we going?
-The kitchen.
141
00:08:42,170 --> 00:08:44,172
I'm not cooking.
142
00:08:45,103 --> 00:08:47,572
I'll do it. I love to cook.
143
00:08:47,870 --> 00:08:49,772
Why can't you be
more like Mandy, Peg?
144
00:08:49,937 --> 00:08:51,505
She likes foosball, baseball...
145
00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:54,073
...she likes to cook.
She's just like a wife...
146
00:08:54,237 --> 00:08:55,938
...but fun.
147
00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:59,039
So marry her.
148
00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:04,105
How about it, Mandy?
149
00:09:04,271 --> 00:09:06,106
Me and you in Vegas...
150
00:09:06,271 --> 00:09:09,241
...a honeymoon
at football fantasy camp.
151
00:09:09,503 --> 00:09:12,974
-It sounds fun, Al, but I'm involved.
-Yeah?
152
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:16,907
-Who's the lucky guy?
-Barbara.
153
00:09:17,971 --> 00:09:18,972
Barbara?
154
00:09:19,137 --> 00:09:23,141
Well, that sounds like he might
be a little light in the loafers, huh?
155
00:09:23,504 --> 00:09:26,941
Well, actually, she's a little heavy
in the construction boots.
156
00:09:27,104 --> 00:09:28,505
She?
157
00:09:28,671 --> 00:09:31,341
Yes. Al, I'm gay.
158
00:09:37,438 --> 00:09:39,139
Gay?
159
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:43,274
I can see that you're shocked, Al.
160
00:09:43,438 --> 00:09:45,907
Why do you think I went with you
to the Jiggly Room?
161
00:09:46,072 --> 00:09:48,574
I thought you were being
a good sport.
162
00:09:49,571 --> 00:09:52,941
Why do you think I was blowing kisses
to all the strippers?
163
00:09:53,105 --> 00:09:55,107
I thought you were aiming at me
and missing.
164
00:09:56,738 --> 00:09:58,506
Did any of them kiss back?
165
00:10:00,172 --> 00:10:02,040
But not Lolla, huh?
166
00:10:02,638 --> 00:10:04,506
Of course not. Lolla's a guy.
167
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:08,075
-What? What?
-Calm down, Al.
168
00:10:08,239 --> 00:10:10,140
That can't be.
169
00:10:12,072 --> 00:10:14,274
How did a thing like this
happen to you?
170
00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:16,708
What, did you get stood up
for the prom...
171
00:10:16,871 --> 00:10:19,040
...or you went to prison?
172
00:10:19,572 --> 00:10:22,108
I know. It was
summer camp, wasn't it?
173
00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:24,407
You sprained
a muscle skinny-dipping...
174
00:10:24,572 --> 00:10:26,474
...and the beautiful,
blond counselor--
175
00:10:26,639 --> 00:10:28,674
Let's call her Betty.
176
00:10:29,172 --> 00:10:31,941
--carried you back to her cabin
and gave you a massage.
177
00:10:32,105 --> 00:10:33,506
And before you knew it...
178
00:10:33,672 --> 00:10:38,143
...you were a love slave
in an all-girl sex cult.
179
00:10:40,672 --> 00:10:42,841
Yeah, that's what happened.
180
00:10:43,572 --> 00:10:45,908
You saw that in a video,
didn't you, Al?
181
00:10:46,073 --> 00:10:49,376
Yeah. My favorite.
182
00:10:50,039 --> 00:10:51,708
Mine too.
183
00:10:53,173 --> 00:10:57,143
So you don't have a problem
with two women being together?
184
00:10:57,306 --> 00:10:59,108
No.
185
00:10:59,439 --> 00:11:01,908
As long as there's a guy watching.
186
00:11:06,706 --> 00:11:11,944
Well, I've told everyone in the family
except for Marcy.
187
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:15,408
-How do you think she's gonna take it?
-Are you crazy?
188
00:11:15,573 --> 00:11:17,775
She's done a lot weirder sex stuff
than that.
189
00:11:18,340 --> 00:11:19,741
I shouldn't be surprised.
190
00:11:19,906 --> 00:11:22,408
She used to have to pay boys
to kiss her.
191
00:11:22,573 --> 00:11:24,575
She still does.
192
00:11:27,773 --> 00:11:32,211
So, Al, has your little friend
finally gone home...
193
00:11:32,373 --> 00:11:34,008
...or do you want her to sleep over?
194
00:11:34,173 --> 00:11:37,776
Peg, you don't have to worry
about Mandy.
195
00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:40,576
Why? Because you only
have eyes for me?
196
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:42,675
No.
197
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,542
No, Peg...
198
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:46,975
...Mandy's gay.
199
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:50,143
-She is?
-Yes, Peg.
200
00:11:50,306 --> 00:11:54,544
I'm surprised you couldn't pick it up.
I never miss a thing like that.
201
00:11:54,707 --> 00:11:56,742
Gaydar.
202
00:12:02,307 --> 00:12:04,810
Good thing the vet took Lucky
off those puppy uppers.
203
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:08,844
Yesterday he was chasing cars
and passing them.
204
00:12:09,541 --> 00:12:12,711
Well, the vet said that the pills
were just masking his pain.
205
00:12:12,873 --> 00:12:14,942
I think he's depressed
because he's lonely.
206
00:12:15,107 --> 00:12:18,344
So I set up this little date for him.
207
00:12:19,374 --> 00:12:23,078
Kelly, only an idiot
would help a dog to date.
208
00:12:25,974 --> 00:12:29,110
I'm Bud.
I'll be your waiter this evening.
209
00:12:30,474 --> 00:12:33,677
Hey, Elaine. Hey, Frisky.
210
00:12:33,841 --> 00:12:36,577
Frisky, that's Lucky.
211
00:12:36,741 --> 00:12:39,677
And this is loser.
212
00:12:40,774 --> 00:12:42,009
-Hi, Kelly.
-Hi.
213
00:12:42,175 --> 00:12:44,077
Bye, Kelly.
214
00:12:50,374 --> 00:12:53,377
So Frisky and Lucky.
215
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:56,877
Let's hope
that also describes their owners.
216
00:12:58,641 --> 00:13:00,910
I can't believe
you went to so much trouble.
217
00:13:01,075 --> 00:13:04,078
I love that you love your dog
this much.
218
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:09,113
We want to do whatever it takes
to get our furry little friends together.
219
00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:41,846
Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be more gentle.
220
00:13:42,142 --> 00:13:45,713
That wasn't me.
No, I don't make that noise until later.
221
00:13:49,243 --> 00:13:52,613
Lucky, be nice. She's company.
222
00:13:52,775 --> 00:13:56,012
Your dog doesn't like my dog
very much.
223
00:13:56,176 --> 00:13:59,279
Sure he does.
He's just playing hard to get.
224
00:14:06,909 --> 00:14:09,378
Okay, so she's not your type.
225
00:14:09,643 --> 00:14:13,213
Can't you just close your eyes
and pretend she's Lassie?
226
00:14:13,376 --> 00:14:15,345
It's worked for me.
227
00:14:18,643 --> 00:14:21,479
I can't believe how rude your dog is.
228
00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:24,646
Me neither. I'll have him put to sleep.
229
00:14:27,843 --> 00:14:29,945
We'll just play with your dog.
230
00:14:32,943 --> 00:14:36,714
I have a better idea.
Why don't you play with yourself?
231
00:14:45,643 --> 00:14:50,248
-Al, get the door.
-I'm trying to, Peg.
232
00:14:52,444 --> 00:14:54,312
Well, so much for honesty.
233
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,079
What, she kicked you out?
234
00:14:56,244 --> 00:14:59,313
Well, not right away.
First she started screaming...
235
00:14:59,477 --> 00:15:02,313
...and babbling something
about an undershirt.
236
00:15:02,876 --> 00:15:05,112
I hate to impose,
but can I crash on your couch?
237
00:15:05,277 --> 00:15:08,280
Well, that depends.
Won't turn it gay, will it?
238
00:15:09,510 --> 00:15:12,280
-No, I don't think so, Al.
-Just checking.
239
00:15:12,444 --> 00:15:14,946
Well, I better get on upstairs.
240
00:15:16,977 --> 00:15:19,212
I trust you're enough of a lady
not to whistle...
241
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:22,046
...at my tight little behind
as I go up the stairs.
242
00:15:22,577 --> 00:15:25,413
-Al, I told you, I'm gay.
-That may well be...
243
00:15:25,577 --> 00:15:28,547
...but there are some things
no woman can resist.
244
00:15:38,144 --> 00:15:40,380
Hey, Mandy, I have a question.
245
00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:43,347
Do you just like certain women?
246
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,713
Or would you sleep
with any woman on Earth...
247
00:15:45,877 --> 00:15:47,946
...before you'd sleep with a man?
248
00:15:48,278 --> 00:15:50,580
Well, it depends.
Give me a "for instance."
249
00:15:51,078 --> 00:15:52,879
For instance...
250
00:15:53,777 --> 00:15:55,713
...you're on a desert island.
251
00:15:55,877 --> 00:15:58,280
Who would you rather be with,
me or Cindy Crawford?
252
00:15:58,445 --> 00:15:59,579
Cindy.
253
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:02,779
Me...
254
00:16:03,311 --> 00:16:06,147
-...or Phyllis Diller?
-Phyllis.
255
00:16:07,645 --> 00:16:09,213
Me...
256
00:16:09,378 --> 00:16:12,047
...or Marge Schott?
257
00:16:13,278 --> 00:16:15,513
You. But the whole time
we'd be doing it...
258
00:16:15,678 --> 00:16:18,114
...I'd be thinking of Phyllis Diller.
259
00:16:24,545 --> 00:16:29,049
-Al, get the door.
-Yes, my queen.
260
00:16:31,545 --> 00:16:33,981
Oh, Jefferson,
what the hell do you want?
261
00:16:34,145 --> 00:16:36,047
A place to sleep.
262
00:16:37,645 --> 00:16:39,113
Hey, wait a minute. What--?
263
00:16:39,279 --> 00:16:43,350
What are you two doing down here
together in your pajamas?
264
00:16:43,912 --> 00:16:47,549
I thought you were gay.
265
00:16:50,045 --> 00:16:51,914
I am.
266
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:56,682
-Does Peggy know about this?
-Peggy sent me down here.
267
00:16:56,912 --> 00:16:58,413
You people are...
268
00:16:58,579 --> 00:17:00,214
...sick.
269
00:17:02,546 --> 00:17:05,949
Yes, we are, Jefferson. Sick enough
to turn your head into a gravy boat...
270
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,880
...if you don't get out of here.
271
00:17:08,045 --> 00:17:09,213
I can't leave.
272
00:17:09,379 --> 00:17:14,117
Marcy's mad at me just because
I called out Mandy's name in bed.
273
00:17:15,846 --> 00:17:17,581
Excuse me.
274
00:17:17,779 --> 00:17:22,084
You know, for a lesbian,
you sure spend a lot of time with men.
275
00:17:22,346 --> 00:17:24,514
And what are you doing here
in your pajamas?
276
00:17:24,679 --> 00:17:27,616
Oh, I'm sorry, Peggy.
Marcy kicked me out.
277
00:17:27,779 --> 00:17:29,815
And she threw away our ball.
278
00:17:29,980 --> 00:17:31,681
Al Bundy, this is all your fault.
279
00:17:31,846 --> 00:17:35,416
-Why is it all my fault?
-It just is. Get up.
280
00:17:35,579 --> 00:17:37,014
I want you to go to Marcy's...
281
00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:39,582
...and tell her to get her relatives
out of my house.
282
00:17:39,746 --> 00:17:41,081
Oh, that's a good idea, Peg.
283
00:17:41,247 --> 00:17:44,216
Because when I see Marcy
in her pajamas, I'll have a seizure.
284
00:17:44,380 --> 00:17:47,283
On my way to the hospital,
between the blaring of the sirens...
285
00:17:47,447 --> 00:17:50,917
...and the paramedics yelling "Clear,"
maybe then I can get some sleep.
286
00:17:54,313 --> 00:17:56,415
Hate Mandy. Hate Mandy.
Hate Mandy.
287
00:17:56,580 --> 00:18:00,351
-Hate her. Hate her. Hate her.
-Marcy.
288
00:18:03,447 --> 00:18:04,781
What are you doing up here?
289
00:18:04,946 --> 00:18:08,883
Oh, you know me. Can't keep me out
of a shrill woman's bedroom.
290
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,748
-Go home.
-I'd like to.
291
00:18:10,914 --> 00:18:14,718
But my living room is full of women,
men and your cousin.
292
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:16,581
Why is that, Marcy?
293
00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:20,084
Because I hate Mandy,
and I never wanna speak to her again.
294
00:18:20,247 --> 00:18:23,316
That's understandable. No one
should have to speak with family.
295
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,816
If I were king, I'd make it a law.
296
00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:28,216
You're the tree-hugging bra-burner
around here.
297
00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:29,915
What do you care if she's gay?
298
00:18:31,081 --> 00:18:33,750
I don't hate Mandy
because she's gay.
299
00:18:33,914 --> 00:18:38,485
I hate Mandy because everyone
likes her better than me!
300
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,984
All our lives,
Mandy was the talented one.
301
00:18:49,147 --> 00:18:50,682
Mandy was the popular one.
302
00:18:50,847 --> 00:18:52,182
And the pretty one?
303
00:18:55,281 --> 00:18:58,117
She stole all my boyfriends,
and now I've found out...
304
00:18:58,281 --> 00:19:00,650
...she didn't even want them!
305
00:19:05,147 --> 00:19:10,052
Why does everyone like her
better than me?
306
00:19:10,648 --> 00:19:14,585
Well, for starters, she never
blew her nose in my pyjama top.
307
00:19:15,781 --> 00:19:20,686
I know I'm not perfect,
but I do have some good qualities.
308
00:19:20,848 --> 00:19:23,150
Sure, if you say so.
309
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:28,719
-Name one?
-Oh, jeez, I don't know.
310
00:19:28,881 --> 00:19:32,151
Well, you've got
a high school diploma...
311
00:19:32,548 --> 00:19:35,417
...and you never let your eyebrows
grow together.
312
00:19:35,581 --> 00:19:38,251
Perfect height for a lawn jockey.
313
00:19:39,148 --> 00:19:41,384
Wait a minute. I got it.
314
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:45,151
I'll bet you're the reasonable one.
315
00:19:45,915 --> 00:19:48,251
-Me?
-Yes.
316
00:19:48,515 --> 00:19:50,718
You're big enough
and wise enough...
317
00:19:50,881 --> 00:19:53,884
...to sit down with Mandy--
Over here.
318
00:19:54,549 --> 00:19:57,085
--and talk this thing out.
319
00:19:58,449 --> 00:20:01,885
Yeah. Yeah, you're right, Al.
320
00:20:02,048 --> 00:20:04,784
I am the reasonable one.
321
00:20:07,949 --> 00:20:09,985
-Al?
-Yeah?
322
00:20:10,515 --> 00:20:14,486
Are we alone together in my bedroom
hugging in the middle of the night?
323
00:20:20,849 --> 00:20:23,218
See you at the All-Star Game.
324
00:20:23,382 --> 00:20:25,951
One more game of foosball?
325
00:20:26,749 --> 00:20:29,785
I'd love to, Al, but Marcy's waiting
to take me to the airport.
326
00:20:29,949 --> 00:20:35,054
Oh, yes. And we wouldn't want Mandy
to miss her plane.
327
00:20:37,049 --> 00:20:38,784
You know, Peg, I'm really sorry...
328
00:20:38,949 --> 00:20:41,385
...that we didn't get to know
one another better.
329
00:20:41,682 --> 00:20:43,985
I think I know enough.
330
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:47,885
Well, there's one thing
you may not know.
331
00:20:48,149 --> 00:20:50,719
-Oh, really?
-Yep.
332
00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:52,551
I think you're gorgeous.
333
00:20:56,049 --> 00:20:58,085
Oh, really?
334
00:21:05,683 --> 00:21:08,253
Don't be a stranger.
335
00:21:09,783 --> 00:21:12,386
Remember, she was my friend first.
336
00:21:12,550 --> 00:21:14,285
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
337
00:21:14,450 --> 00:21:17,519
Hey, guess what.
Lucky's not depressed anymore.
338
00:21:17,683 --> 00:21:19,385
Found a little friend in the park.
339
00:21:23,150 --> 00:21:25,086
His name's Spike.
340
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,353
I think they're in love.
25880
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