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1
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,311
Okay.
2
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:13,647
Somebody broke
into my piggy bank again.
3
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:18,018
The long strand of red hair...
4
00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:20,187
...and these bonbon wrappers...
5
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:24,825
...clearly indicate that you, Mother,
saw who did it.
6
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,562
Now, who was it?
7
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:31,932
Oh, gee, honey, I really don't know.
8
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:34,335
Hey, look at
this lovely Don Knotts hologram...
9
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:35,936
...I got from QVC.
10
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:38,139
Don't try to distract me, Mom.
11
00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:41,275
It's shiny.
12
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:45,880
Mr. Furley.
13
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,982
Barney Fife.
14
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:49,884
Furley...
15
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,485
...Fife. Did you see that?
16
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,654
Peg?
17
00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:03,998
I hope one of these bills is
for a coffin...
18
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:07,201
...because your shopping is
killing me.
19
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:13,140
Something shiny.
20
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:16,710
-I got you one, Al.
-I'm not interested in that...
21
00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,379
...Pe--
22
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,049
Ginger.
23
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,951
Mary Ann.
24
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:25,453
Ginger.
25
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,788
Oh, cut this out.
26
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:30,157
Not only is this QVC thing useless...
27
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:34,028
...but you've bought a membership
to the Buff and Tuff Health Club.
28
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:37,565
Well, how else am I supposed
to stay young and attractive for you?
29
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,300
Buy a time machine.
30
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:43,370
Peg, I'm cutting off your shopping
cold turkey.
31
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,339
Right now.
32
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,148
Traitor.
33
00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:56,484
Oh, Al, don't make me stop shopping.
34
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,452
You'll destroy my life.
35
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,821
Good, then we'll be even.
36
00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:41,996
Yeah, I like this one
even better than...
37
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,999
...that clog cabin we built last week.
38
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,836
It is stunning.
39
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,538
We ought to go into business.
40
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,473
Oh, what business would that be,
Griff?
41
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,809
The shoe box lid
house-building business?
42
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:59,246
-Not much demand for that.
-Well, I beg to differ.
43
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:02,216
I think you're overlooking
the homeless dwarf problem.
44
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:12,126
Now, somebody has got
to clean that up.
45
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:13,861
Hey, guys.
46
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:15,429
Hey.
47
00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:25,839
Well, Jefferson, I see you're having
your typically hard day at the office.
48
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,475
You know, looking this good is
a full-time job.
49
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:32,313
You think these pores
just exfoliate themselves?
50
00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:34,582
You better watch out, Jefferson.
51
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,684
Now you're heading
for the big 4-0...
52
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:40,187
...Marcie might trade you in
for a new model.
53
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:43,324
Yeah, when you hit 40,
everything starts going to hell.
54
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:46,327
Your alignment gets all out of whack...
55
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:49,063
...then your tires start
to get a little bald and then...
56
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,665
...comes that horrible day
when you realize...
57
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,734
...no matter how hard you turn
that knob...
58
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,337
...that antenna
is only coming half way up.
59
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:03,911
Then you start getting
that uncontrollable backfiring.
60
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:10,117
Well, don't tell me you don't have
that problem!
61
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:13,554
Well, that may hold true
for you old clunkers...
62
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:16,924
...but I look the same today
as I did 20 years ago.
63
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:19,693
I've been looking for you forever.
64
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,596
And I hope I was worth the wait.
65
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:26,700
Sorry, sir,
I thought you were my dad.
66
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:32,673
Hey, hey.
67
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:39,313
Happy birthday, Mr. D'Arcy,
happy birthday.
68
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,116
Oh, sure, rub it in, you brats.
69
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:46,620
Gee, old man D'Arcy is getting
pretty cranky, huh?
70
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,155
Dad, guess what?
71
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:51,025
Gary hired us to shoot a commercial
for the store.
72
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:52,793
Well, why would she hire you two?
73
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,096
Well, because she wanted somebody
fast and cheap.
74
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,901
Which explains our actress.
75
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,570
I, on the other hand, will be directing.
76
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,839
It will be 30 seconds of pure magic.
77
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:09,576
Oh, now, Bud, don't waste
your best pick-up lines on dad.
78
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,946
We've got the setting.
We've got the customer.
79
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,649
Now, all we need is
a shoe salesman.
80
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,384
Well, how much does it pay?
81
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,153
Four hundred dollars a day.
82
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,155
Earth days?
83
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:26,060
Hey, I'm your man for the job.
Nobody sells shoes better than me.
84
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:29,830
Bud, did I ever mention to you
that I played Dorothy...
85
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,433
...in my high school production
of The Wiz?
86
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,736
-All-male school?
-No.
87
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,206
You want to see great acting?
88
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:42,342
How about those seizures
I used to throw at IHOP?
89
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:45,779
All right, Dad, so you scammed us...
90
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,682
... a few Rooty Tooty
Fresh 'N Fruity breakfasts.
91
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,251
It doesn't exactly make you
Oscar material.
92
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:53,487
Hey, you didn't seem to mind
my performance...
93
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:56,356
...when you were shoving pancakes
in your pockets.
94
00:05:57,091 --> 00:05:58,325
I'm really good.
95
00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,694
Hoover High School Gazette says
my Dorothy was...
96
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:05,099
..."captivating, charming
and strangely intimidating."
97
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:08,302
Oh, Griff, how pathetic are you?
98
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:12,606
A man your age hanging on
to faded high school glory.
99
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,478
What?
100
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,515
Frankly, I don't buy either one of you
as a shoe salesman...
101
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:24,818
-...but if you want to try out for the part--
-Listen, Mr. Director.
102
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:29,690
I think that you and I should see
eye to eye on this thing.
103
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,827
I think we found our star.
104
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,236
So....
105
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:52,279
What do you want for your birthday,
my little boy toy?
106
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:58,051
Is that all I am to you, a boy toy?
107
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:01,755
Jefferson, it's just an expression.
108
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,892
Like, freeloader...
109
00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:08,428
...or trophy husband.
110
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:12,666
Honey....
111
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:17,271
Do you notice any little lines
around my eyes?
112
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,139
You have to come in close to see.
113
00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:21,241
You mean, those crow's feet?
114
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,480
They are not crow's feet.
115
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:28,549
They are laugh lines.
116
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:31,718
Honey, nothing is that funny.
117
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:39,927
Oh, don't pout.
118
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,363
I know something...
119
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:46,533
...that will make you feel a lot better.
120
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,736
I don't feel like playing Hop on Pop.
121
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:56,343
No, I'm talking
about the perfect birthday gift:
122
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,946
A health club membership, huh?
123
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:00,614
Night-night.
124
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,517
Do you really think I need it?
125
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:07,855
I'm sure my thighs jiggle a little
when I settle into the tanning bed...
126
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,023
...but whose don't?
127
00:08:11,425 --> 00:08:13,927
I'm just worrying over nothing,
right?
128
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,696
I mean--
129
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:19,099
I still turn you on, don't I, Marcie?
130
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:26,807
Last chance to buy
this lovely Tom Jones locket...
131
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:30,310
...containing his actual chest hair.
132
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:34,381
Well, if that's not unusual.
133
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:38,185
Twenty-five seconds.
134
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,455
Twenty-two seconds.
135
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,858
Damn you, Al.
136
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,394
Hey, Peggy.
137
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:50,430
I brought over Marcie's tool belt
like you asked.
138
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,966
Oh, you're a life savior.
Needle nose.
139
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,402
Hey....
140
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:57,070
Peggy.
141
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:02,843
Do you ever have a fear
that Al is gonna leave you?
142
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:06,980
Well, I wouldn't call it a fear
so much as a fantasy.
143
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:09,650
Screwdriver. Why do you ask?
144
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:12,953
Well, I know that--
145
00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:15,389
You know, I haven't confided
in you much.
146
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,758
And I appreciate that.
147
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:21,695
But lately I'm just feeling so old
and unattractive...
148
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,798
...and unloved and I just wondered--
149
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,633
How do you handle it?
150
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,272
Well, usually I just thank God...
151
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:35,075
...I'm not that aging gigolo
that lives next door.
152
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,313
See, if Marcie thinks
I'm losing my looks...
153
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:41,882
...it's just a matter of time
before she dumps me...
154
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,684
...for some younger guy.
155
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:46,286
-Stripper.
-Maybe.
156
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,424
With her money
she could have anyone.
157
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:56,897
Well, I tell you what.
158
00:09:57,064 --> 00:10:00,367
Why don't you just spend
all her money...
159
00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:02,903
...and then she can't afford
to trade you in?
160
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:06,306
-Think that would work?
-Absolutely.
161
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:10,077
-Do you have a credit card?
-Yeah, I have one right--
162
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,247
Oh, platinum.
163
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:17,284
The good stuff.
164
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:18,885
What's Marcie's limit?
165
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,888
On a good night, six or seven.
166
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,027
The card.
167
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:28,528
It doesn't have a limit.
168
00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:31,698
Let's do some home shopping.
169
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,600
Wait a minute. Isn't that addictive?
170
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:37,471
Oh, no. You can stop
any time you want.
171
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,073
What's that for?
172
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,876
So we don't drop the phone.
173
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:46,713
Hi, baby, mama's back.
174
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:52,185
"Gary's Shoes," take 28.
175
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:56,256
And action.
176
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,593
Excuse me, kind sir.
177
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,295
Do you have any purple pumps?
178
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:09,102
Certainly, we have purple pimps.
179
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:13,206
At Gary's Shoes, we feet your treat.
180
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,975
Cut.
181
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,011
Okay, Dad, that was--
182
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,647
It was good
but you're still a little stiff.
183
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:24,918
Any stiffer, you could wax him
and use him as a toboggan.
184
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:26,787
Could you keep the gofer quiet?
185
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:31,124
All right. Look, let's just try it again,
all right?
186
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:33,827
Take 29.
187
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,563
If anybody's still counting.
188
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:39,633
And action.
189
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:41,968
Excuse me, kind sir--
190
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,737
Certainly, we pump your purple...
191
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:47,340
...at Gary's Shoes,
where we treat your feet.
192
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:48,809
-Cut.
-What?
193
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,444
Those are the right words.
194
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,145
But they were in the wrong order.
195
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:56,583
Well, can you edit them together?
What kind of a director are you?
196
00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,854
You know, I give up.
Okay? You talk to him.
197
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,255
Okay.
198
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:03,890
So--
199
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,660
Nice weather we're having, Daddy?
200
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,662
I mean, about the part.
201
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:10,764
Oh, oh, I'm sorry. Okay.
202
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,165
That was perfect, Daddy.
203
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:16,603
But I think that you need
to emphasize certain words. Like this.
204
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:20,474
Here at Gary's Shoes,
we treat your feet.
205
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,109
-See what I'm saying?
-Like this.
206
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:23,410
Okay.
207
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:28,281
Here at Gary's Shoes,
we treat your feet.
208
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:34,154
That's-- It's much, much better,
Daddy. Really.
209
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,790
Can his ass.
210
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,931
Bud, I'm starting to get the hang of it.
211
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,033
I'm rolling with it.
I'm grooving with it.
212
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,103
-Dad, you're fired.
-I know. Fired up, ready to go.
213
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,105
No, Dad, it's over.
214
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:56,476
Over, my stage fright is over.
I'm ready to go. Action. Roll them.
215
00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:58,812
Listen to me.
216
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:03,517
You're fired. You're out.
You're finished. You must flee TV.
217
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:07,821
Wow, that came out of nowhere.
218
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,257
Why the sudden change of heart?
219
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:13,693
No, no, it's not sudden.
Your acting sucks.
220
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:17,864
It sucked when we started.
It sucks now. It will always suck.
221
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:23,904
Well, that's just one person's opinion,
isn't it?
222
00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:26,139
-It sucks.
-It sucks.
223
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,909
It sucks.
224
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:35,081
Attention, shoppers,
Al Bundy sucks.
225
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:42,489
Oh, look.
A genuine faux leopard muff.
226
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,491
Let's not wait for the price.
Just dial.
227
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:45,926
Okay. Okay, but--
228
00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:49,496
Tell me again how this stuff is going
to keep Marcie from leaving me.
229
00:13:50,897 --> 00:13:52,499
-Is that a liver spot?
-Okay....
230
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,140
What?
231
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:04,144
Don't you play dumb with me,
Peggy Bundy.
232
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:06,713
You've always been
a shopping junky.
233
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:10,550
But now you've turned into a pusher
and corrupted my innocent Jefferson.
234
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,485
Innocent?
235
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,921
Yeah, I may have provided
the TV and the phone...
236
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:17,557
...but he did his own dialing.
237
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,895
Jefferson, is that true?
238
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:24,331
-Yes.
-Well, that's it, mister.
239
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,366
Your freeloading days are over.
240
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,069
And you're going to pay back
every cent.
241
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,771
How am I supposed to do that?
242
00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:33,440
Three little words.
243
00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:35,775
I love you?
244
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,845
Try again.
245
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,914
Hop on Pop?
246
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,093
Get a job.
247
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:10,176
You know, this exercise stuff
is really challenging. Yeah.
248
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:14,180
I think I'm starting to "feel the burn."
249
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,783
That's heartburn.
250
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:19,586
You think you could stop chewing
for one second...
251
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,688
...and help me out of this mess
you got me into?
252
00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:25,959
Oh, yeah, like it's my fault
you're not aging well.
253
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,461
Don't get your varicose veins
in a knot.
254
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,264
There must be some job
that you're qualified for.
255
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,466
I'm just not good at anything.
256
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:38,238
All right. And launch and twirl.
And launch and--
257
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:43,276
All right. Fine. Stay fat.
258
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:54,487
At Gary's Shoes, we treat your--
259
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,192
Cut.
260
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:02,195
Dad...
261
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:03,897
...we're trying to work here.
262
00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:05,265
So am I.
263
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:08,802
Al, you haven't vacuumed
in 25 years.
264
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,338
Then it's high time, isn't it?
265
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,073
Anyway, that was great, Griff.
266
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:17,510
Great. Great.
You couldn't even tell he was acting.
267
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,947
Let's just do it one more time.
Okay?
268
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,083
Fine. Fine.
269
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,553
Take 32, which is three more
than it took me by the way.
270
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,855
That's because you've ruined
every one of mine.
271
00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:30,890
It's because we had a couple
of accidents.
272
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:34,027
Oh, dropping a light on Griff's head?
273
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,863
Freak occurrence.
274
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,965
The fire in the stock room?
275
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,234
Act of God.
276
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:45,872
Rollerblading through here
with your pants down, playing a tuba?
277
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,175
Hey, what I do on my break
is my business.
278
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:52,645
Admit it, Dad. You're trying
to sabotage the commercial.
279
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:53,847
Get out of here.
280
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,249
-Don't come back until we're finished.
-Fine.
281
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:58,885
You Hollywood types are so touchy.
282
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,389
-Ready?
-Yes.
283
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:05,258
And action.
284
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:09,529
Excuse me, kind sir,
do you have any--?
285
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,569
Peggy?
286
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,438
What in the world are you doing
here?
287
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,441
Working out.
288
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:27,747
Excuse me, you can't just walk
into a Jefferson D'Arcy class.
289
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,716
Are you on the list?
290
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,618
Well, no...
291
00:17:31,785 --> 00:17:33,153
...but I'm his wife.
292
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,122
Nice try, honey.
We get four wives a day...
293
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,525
...and a couple of husbands.
294
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:44,197
Well, maybe if you gave up your spot
they'd all fit.
295
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:49,502
You just better be glad
I am weak from dieting....
296
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,207
There he is.
297
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:57,977
Jeffersize. Jeffersize.
298
00:17:58,144 --> 00:18:00,413
Hello, all you lovely ladies.
299
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,349
Are you ready to get hot
and bothered?
300
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,519
Okay, here we go and on our right--
301
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:07,921
Jefferson. Hi, honey.
302
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:11,224
Oh, hey, Marcie. Gee, what a surprise.
Okay. Here we go and--
303
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:14,527
Bend and stretch.
Reach for me, ladies. That's it.
304
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:17,363
Okay, here we go, grapevine and....
305
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:19,766
That's it. Beautiful.
306
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,768
That's it.
307
00:18:22,168 --> 00:18:23,770
She won't let me through.
308
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:26,706
Hey, Marcie, I have a secret weapon.
309
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:29,742
My Snickers slipped.
310
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,378
Here we go.
311
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,348
One, two--
312
00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:39,686
Hey, Marcie, thank you so much
for making me get this job.
313
00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:41,654
I'll be able to pay you back
in no time.
314
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,756
Well, honey,
you don't have to pay me back.
315
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,658
Consider it a birthday present.
316
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,660
It's Jeffie's birthday.
317
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,596
Spanking machine.
318
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:52,966
Oh, no. Oh, no-- Okay.
319
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:59,873
Yes, yes, yes.
320
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:06,613
Jefferson, I hate to see you like this,
slaving away at a job you hate.
321
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:14,153
Jeffie, can you massage
my cramp again?
322
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,956
I'll give you a cramp.
323
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,293
Jefferson.
324
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,829
I want you to quit your job.
325
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,231
But why, Marcie?
If I keep working here...
326
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:28,601
...I'm going to have the body
that you've always wanted me to.
327
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,803
-That I've always wanted?
-Yeah.
328
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:33,239
Jefferson, I love the way you look.
329
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:35,408
The reason I sent you
to a health club is...
330
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:38,645
...that I thought you were feeling
insecure about yourself.
331
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:41,514
Well, I was. I'm--
332
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,449
I'm getting older. I just--
333
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,352
I thought you were gonna...
334
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,321
...trade me in for someone new.
335
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:51,791
Oh, booberry.
336
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:53,960
I don't want anybody new.
337
00:19:54,127 --> 00:19:56,896
It took me years to break you in.
338
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:02,001
You mean, you'll still love me
even when I'm old and gray?
339
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:06,439
Of course, just like you'll still love me
even if I lose all my money?
340
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,312
Right.
341
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:14,781
You know, this is great.
342
00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:18,818
I always wanted
my own personal trainer.
343
00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:22,689
Well, well, well.
344
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:27,694
Looks like my commercial
has made me a few fans.
345
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:34,133
Yeah, I knew TV added 10 pounds.
I didn't realize it all went to your head.
346
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:38,471
You're even cuter in person
than you are on TV.
347
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:40,406
You're a shoe hunk.
348
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,308
Al, help me.
349
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:46,012
Yeah, they are all yours, shoe hunk.
350
00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:48,381
Think I'll just ease on down the road.
351
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:53,486
Ladies, please, please.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
352
00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:58,291
Hey, hey, that is not for sale.
353
00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:07,333
Don't go away we'll be right back.
354
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,775
Oh, I don't believe this.
355
00:21:22,348 --> 00:21:23,750
-We'll take it.
-We'll take it.
356
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:26,152
I told you so.
357
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:29,122
Hey, weren't you Dorothy
in The Wiz?
358
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,590
Yes, I was.
359
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:34,027
I was the mayor of Munchkin Land.
360
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:37,196
Your honor.
26159
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