All language subtitles for Some Assembly Required s03e03 Tinosaur

Isn't it funny how we ended up on the
same bus again?

You chased it down the street, leapt off
an overpass onto the roof and punched

your way in through a window.

I didn't want to be late for work.

Jarvis, just stop.

It's clear that you're falling in... to
that hole.

That's why I said, Jarvis, just stop.

I didn't want you to fall into that
hole.

Huh. Hey, Jarvis, while you're down
there, would you mind helping me dig?

Ow.

Knox, why are you digging a hole in the
courtyard?

I wanted a dirt bike, so I'm making one
out of dirt.

What is this?

A complete failure to understand the
term dirt bike.

No.

This.

Wow.

That must have been some turkey dinner.

See if you can find a giant sweet
potato.

Or a giant piece of broccoli that's been
chewed once and then spit into a giant

napkin.

This isn't from a giant turkey, you
giant turkey.

From the size and age, I think this is a
leg bone that belongs to a dinosaur.

Well, we should find him and give it
back.

He couldn't have gone very far without a
leg.

Just think, there was once a big
lumbering beast with a tiny little brain

right here in this very spot.

Can you picture that?

Don't worry, I'm coming, Dino!

Yeah, I can picture that.

Through all the ups and all the downs,
downs We'll always find a way around So

here we go! Whoa!

Here we go!

Whoa!

Yeah, here we go! Whoa!

You got me!

I got you!

Here we go!

Wow,

you brought a big lunch!

All my mom packed for me was this giant
piece of broccoli.

Not my lunch. It's a dinosaur bone.

If I can extract DNA from this bone, we
can create clone dinosaurs.

What? Why would we do that?

We're always looking for the next
must-have thing for kids. What kid

wouldn't want a real live dinosaur?

The kind of kid that doesn't want to
become real live dinosaur food?

I'm not letting you create a 40-foot
T-Rex.

It's too dangerous.

I've seen that movie.

And the sequel.

And the other sequel.

And the reboot.

But... But nothing.

Piper. Let it go.

Fine!

And Bowie, eat your broccoli.

Fine!

Jarvis, there you are.

Knox, you're wearing a suit.

And not the kind that starts with
bathing wet at birthday.

Don't call me Knox.

Call me Malcolm Knoxford the Third. My
father, Malcolm Knoxford the...

Second?

Second, is this super successful
businessman and thinks I'm a total screw

-up. So, I told him I was the president
of Knick Knack Toys.

You did?

Yeah, and he was so proud, he decided to
come visit me at work.

When's he coming?

Like, one second ago, when the elevator
went ding!

So, this is your company, huh, son? All
the toys, colors, roller coasters.

Little juvenile, would you think? Yeah,
none of that's for me. I'm all about the

business. That stuff's for my employees.

Good thinking. If they think work is
fun, they won't mind if they're grossly

underpaid, huh?

So you work for my son?

Yup, and he's a great boss.

I'm... I mean, a cruel, tyrannical boss
who squeezes every ounce of sweat out of

his employees.

That's my boy.

So what is it you do here?

Oh, me?

I'm the... Angry goth techie.

Doesn't look very goth.

That's why he's angry.

Grr.

You can change into your regular goth
clothes now.

Thanks, Mr. Knoxford.

But clock out first! I'm not paying you
to change your pants!

I can't believe Jarvis won't let me
clone dinosaurs.

He can be so bossy.

Just tell me about it.

What are you doing?

Usually my chauffeur woos for me, but
it's his day off.

I mean, I fired him.

Because he wanted a day off.

Well, I've met your angry goth techie.

Who puts metal studs on the inside of
pants?

Who seems even angrier now. But I, uh,
wouldn't mind meeting some of your other

underlings.

Why is Knox wearing a suit?

Why are you wearing my pants?

Inside out.

Knox told his dad he's president of the
company and that I'm the angry goth

techie. Just play along.

Guys, this is my father, Malcolm
Knoxford the I forget.

Hello? So what fabulous new project are
you working on for my son?

For your son? My boss?

My only boss?

from this bone. No, we're not. Quiet,
freak!

Well, keep up the good work.

Aren't you worried children will be
killed before they buy all the

accessories?

We'll just have to sell them up front as
part of an overpriced deluxe package.

So what is it you do, young man?

Uh... She's the Bowie.

What's a Bowie? I don't know, but we
need one.

Yep, I'm the Bowie. The creepy,
mysterious Bowie.

And this is our gorgeous but ditzy
receptionist.

Hi.

Piper. I really don't want you cloning a
dinosaur.

Sorry, I'm just doing what my boss
wants.

Though I am not happy about being the
Bowie.

Geneva, what are you doing?

Just cleaning.

Knox told me I'm the cleaning woman from
Miskatania.

I had no idea I was born there.

Then what's Mrs. Bumpkiss doing?

Look like a boy.

I am a boy.

And you still work for me.

I don't work at all.

Okay, I get that a 40-foot T-Rex might
be a slightly dangerous toy.

What if I could make a safe... A tiny
dinosaur.

A tinosaur.

How you gonna do that?

By combining the dinosaur DNA with the
DNA of something very small and weak.

What's up, dudes?

I'm the product safety tester.

Like a little bit of Aster's blood.

Okay, that's enough, Aster. I really
just need a small amount.

Seriously, I know you're just trying to
help, but that is way more blood than I

need.

Anyway, here's the dinosaur.

Aww.

Wow, that little guy's adorable.

Thanks, but I'm of average height, dude.

Very impressive, son.

How'd you create that thing?

Well... First we extracted DNA from the
bone marrow and... Not you, useless

Bowie I hired for some reason.

You're the techie. You explain it.

Oh. Well, first we extracted DNA from
the bone marrow.

Then a little of this, little of that.
Boom, boom, boom.

Dinosaur.

Way to bore us with science speak, nerd.

Well, I'm just amazed how cute and
docile he is.

Told you.

Master, something's breathing on my
neck.

And unless you're on stilts, it can't be
you.

Keep your eyes open for that.

I'm trapped in here.

I'm supposed to be a Miskitanian
cleaning woman, but I realized I don't

speak Miskitanian. Can't teach very hard
language.

Oh, I already learned it.

I took an online course over lunch.

It helps that I take a very long lunch.

Up to that point, I had just been faking
Miskitanian by speaking gibberish.

I'm amazed no one noticed.

Bumpkiss noticed.

Very good ears.

And long...

Anyway, now that I know Meesketanian, I
need someone to practice speaking it

with. And you speak fluent Meesketanian.

Kids speak bad tooth.

Bubkis means you can't speak bad tooth.

Well, you don't have a drawer full of
teeth.

And you can't leave to go to the
dentist.

There's a tiny dinosaur on the loose.

I'll have to pull it out for you.

Don't you mean his office?

Right. His office.

Yup. I love all this creepy, depressing
stuff.

Obviously, it's his office. Why else
would there be all these pictures of

him?

This won't hurt a bit.

This will hurt a bit.

I just wanted you to know the
difference.

What tooth is it? They're all kind of
rotten.

I'll just yank them all to be safe.

I know you're nervous.

Don't worry.

We just need some sort of knockout gas.

I meant for you.

Gee, the lack of humility before nature
that's being displayed here, um,

staggers me.

You promised me it would be tame!

Don't you mean she promised me?

Whatever!

Didn't you mix in Aster's weak, tiny,
frail, pipsqueak DNA?

Yes, but some other DNA must have also
gotten mixed in. DNA from some angry,

ferocious creature.

Well, until we figure out what to do,
it's not safe to leave this room.

It's also not safe to stay in this room!

Classic chaos theory.

I think.

I didn't really understand that movie.

to do something. It's going to break
through the door.

Someone's got to go out there and stop
it.

It needs to be the person with the best
chance of survival. Okay? The strongest.

The most athletic.

Good luck, Aster.

Me?

Of course you.

Who am I going to send?

Bowie? Or the Bowie?

You're the product safety tester.

Danger. Let me back in! Let me back in!

Oh, hi, Mrs. Bubkiss.

I came to first, so I decided to get
started.

I can explain.

No need.

I see what's happening here, Mrs.

Bubkiss.

I pulled off your face and that is your
creepy bony skull.

I don't hear Astro screaming anymore.

He must have gotten over his fear.

No, I think he's dead.

What are we gonna do?

Send flowers, maybe a catered meal.

Well, in the movie and the sequel and
the other sequel and the reboot, they're

always saved when the dinosaur is
attacked by a bigger dinosaur.

We don't have a bigger dinosaur!

We have part of one.

What are you doing, son?

You are an important executive, not one
of these expendable lackeys.

He's a very expensive designer.

Oh, never mind. I'm dressed like Knox.

Enjoy your meal.

Hey, pick on someone my own size.

Me.

Going, going.

Someone else's problem.

Wow.

I heard of T-ball, but not T-rex ball.

Stop it.

You're too poor to chortle.

Wow, that tooth just won't come out.

I guess we'll just have to give up.

On the pliers and try drilling.

Is it safe?

Yep, the dinosaur's gone. You can come
out now.

Oh, good.

Oops.

Sorry, Mrs.

Bubkiss.

Mrs.

Bubkiss, your teeth are all over the
floor.

Luckily, we have a mescatanium cleaning
woman.

I'm gonna have to charge you for a teeth
cleaning.

I don't understand.

Why are you so good with a bat?

And you, you were almost killed.

You're supposed to be indestructible and
hard-headed.

I'm not.

I'm destructible. I'm very soft-headed.

I have to use a gentle shampoo, not for
my hair, for my head.

Why would you pretend to be something
you're not?

Nobody should live a lie.

You should be who you are and be proud
of it.

You're right.

It's time I admitted to all of you and
myself that I am... I'm not really the

president of Knick Knack.

What? As I was saying before, I was so
rudely interrupted.

It's time I admitted to all of you and
myself that I actually love this tank

top.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I knew you'd be disappointed, so I made
everything up.

Until today, I'd never even chortled.

I just don't have the business gene.

Malcolm, you looked me straight in the
eye and lied to my face?

You do have the business gene.

I'm proud of you, son.

Come on.

I'll show you how important it is to
make a point of hiring women.

Really? That's great.

Oh, you got that right, fella.

You can pay them 60 cents on the dollar.

Uh... How about instead I teach you how
to ride a dirt bike?

Here at Knick Knack, we're always trying
to bring you amazing new products.

That's why we combine DNA from a
Tyrannosaurus Rex with DNA from

something very small and weak. Hello!
And DNA from someone with the business

gene.

To create the perfect dinosaur for your
office or workplace.

And you can pay them even less than
women.

What are you doing in our commercial?

I'm P. Everett Nicknack. The P stands
for prehistoric.

Yeah, like some people's attitude toward
women.