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1
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,882
Okay, Peg.
I tried to use our ATM card.
2
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,250
I stuck it in.
3
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,285
It spit it out.
4
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,222
And it laughed at me.
5
00:00:22,957 --> 00:00:25,126
Sound familiar?
6
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,295
How many times have I told you, Al?
7
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:31,132
You got to stick it in the right way.
8
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:35,069
And, you know, pressing
the right buttons wouldn't hurt either.
9
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,138
Peg, you got to stop wasting
all our money.
10
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:39,807
I'm not wasting it.
I'm investing it.
11
00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:42,209
Yes, Peg,
and nothing appreciates faster...
12
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:45,980
...than these Little Rascals
Last Supper commemorative plates.
13
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:50,751
Doesn't Alfalfa make a haunting Judas?
14
00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:53,287
You know, these aren't available
in any store.
15
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:56,357
Whereas food,
which often appears on the plate, is.
16
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:03,164
Forgive him, Buckwheat,
he knows not what he does.
17
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,567
Peg, this home shopping
has got to stop.
18
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,369
Okay, Al.
19
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:09,904
Where are you going?
20
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,573
I am going
to Shopaholics Anonymous.
21
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:16,343
-Good.
-But first I need a new dress.
22
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,346
Hey.
23
00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:27,121
Daddy, I need 100 bucks for something
really, really, really important.
24
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:30,925
Pumpkin, you're not going to buy
another bridge, are you?
25
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:35,196
What would I do with six bridges?
26
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,431
No, it's for my acting career.
27
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,634
I'm taking an improve class.
28
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:44,338
You know, improvisation
where you make things up.
29
00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:47,575
Why don't you make up 100 bucks?
30
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,477
Okay. Thanks.
31
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:52,580
Wait a minute. How am I supposed
to make up money I don't have?
32
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,315
Ask your mother.
33
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,985
Great news, everybody.
34
00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:03,424
It's official.
35
00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:06,360
Oh, Illinois finally recognized...
36
00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:09,330
...the sacred bond
between you and your hand.
37
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,266
Just like the sacred bond
between you...
38
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,768
...and anyone
with a shiny new penny.
39
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:18,305
Dad, I just got a big infomercial
for one of my new clients.
40
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:22,710
Hey, hey, hey, now, does that mean
that you're making money?
41
00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:25,646
Well, not like you tried to do
at Kinko's but--
42
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,850
That would have worked
if I'd sprung for the color copies.
43
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,719
Anyway, I'm earning my money.
44
00:02:31,886 --> 00:02:35,256
Well, son, if you're earning money,
that means you can pay some rent.
45
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,658
Rent?
46
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:40,461
Now, son, it was one thing
when were you in school...
47
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,897
...which, by the way,
I never approved of.
48
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:44,999
Why me?
49
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,401
Why don't you charge Kelly rent?
Or Mom?
50
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,838
Well, son,
Kelly hasn't slept here in years.
51
00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:57,077
If I try to charge your mother rent,
she might expect things.
52
00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,748
No way am I paying rent
for that dump.
53
00:03:00,915 --> 00:03:03,684
Well, then you know the drill, Bud.
54
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:14,094
The best shopping carts
are at Foodtown.
55
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,368
Hey, Daddy?
56
00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:00,641
I need to do some homework
for my improve class...
57
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,010
...so give me a situation.
58
00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:05,946
Daddy's watching the baseball game.
59
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:08,048
Got it.
60
00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:26,900
Now daddy's mowing the lawn.
61
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:32,072
Damn lawn. Damn kid. Damn wife.
62
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,076
Forget it, Peg, no sex tonight.
63
00:04:40,014 --> 00:04:43,350
Okay, honey. Just as well.
64
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,986
Improv class?
65
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:49,356
Yes, best money I ever spent,
with all due respect...
66
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:52,893
...to the My Three Sons
Holy Trinity serving tray.
67
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,032
Damn thing.
68
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,342
Well, where have you been?
69
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,944
I slept in Lucky's doghouse.
70
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,781
You have any idea what it's like
sleeping with somebody...
71
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:16,083
...who's constantly panting
and licking you...
72
00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:18,686
...and wagging their tail
all in your face?
73
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:20,554
Welcome to my world, son.
74
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,425
This isn't fair, Dad.
75
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,560
You didn't charge me
when I lived upstairs.
76
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,263
Well, that's because
that was a less desirable location.
77
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,732
That was near your mother.
78
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:35,469
All right, fine. How much rent
do you think would be fair?
79
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:38,639
Son, I got that all figured out.
80
00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:40,874
It's based on
a very complicated formula...
81
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,844
...that I've been working on
since day that you were born.
82
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:48,048
Oh, look, it's Bud's baby book.
83
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,617
Hey, I didn't know
you kept one of those for me.
84
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,386
Why, sure.
85
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:56,423
Oh, now look at this:
Baby's first expense.
86
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:59,893
Yeah, one broken condom.
87
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:08,135
Oh, and look, Bud,
your first pacifier.
88
00:06:08,302 --> 00:06:10,037
A sock?
89
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:14,475
If we gave him a little more rubber
when he was teething...
90
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,710
...he wouldn't be dating it now.
91
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:22,850
Oh, look, Bud, your first words.
92
00:06:24,118 --> 00:06:26,520
"Bud need food."
93
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:31,091
"Bud want food."
94
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:32,926
"Ouch"?
95
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:36,897
Nobody likes a whiny baby, Bud.
96
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:43,937
-Why aren't there any pictures of me?
-Frankly, son, you were one ugly baby.
97
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,107
I thought you were beautiful.
98
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:50,677
Oh, come on, Peg,
you used to diaper his face.
99
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,113
That's because he was colicky.
100
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:56,750
Oh, now, son,
it's all here. Every fond moment...
101
00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:01,188
...and every cent that you cost me
from the time you were born.
102
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:05,325
One soda. That's 65 cents.
103
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,327
You're still writing it all down?
104
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,096
Oh, no. We're way beyond that.
105
00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:24,278
This is insane.
106
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,114
Okay. Okay. Fine.
107
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,882
I'll pay you 200 a month...
108
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:32,886
...but I want to make it legal.
Here's a check and here's a lease.
109
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,290
That's a deal.
110
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,993
Great. Now that I am paying you,
you can make the repairs.
111
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,395
What repairs?
112
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,696
Look, I know my rights.
113
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:45,766
As your legal tenant, I can report you
to the Housing Authority.
114
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:49,536
And as your legal father,
I can give you five across the eyes.
115
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:53,574
There's absolutely nothing wrong
with that basement.
116
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:57,010
This basement is condemned.
117
00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:01,281
On what possible basis?
118
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:05,485
For one thing,
I'm standing in raw sewage.
119
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:09,489
Ma'am, your control problems
are not my concern.
120
00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:15,462
What about these rats?
121
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:18,131
Well, how did they get in here?
122
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,367
They're trying to get out.
123
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:24,338
This wiring is clearly substandard.
124
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,708
Well, now that's impossible.
I did the work myself.
125
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:33,847
Mr. Bundy, you've had a month
to get this place in shape.
126
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:37,517
You had your whole life to get in shape.
You don't see me condemning you.
127
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,490
That's it.
128
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:47,094
Mr. Bundy, you are a slumlord
and by the power vested in me...
129
00:08:47,261 --> 00:08:50,397
...by the Department of Housing,
you're confined to this basement...
130
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,566
-...until you agree to make repairs.
-What?
131
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:53,767
What if there's a fire?
132
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:56,670
Those wires are clearly substandard.
133
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,573
What the--
What the hell are you doing?
134
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:02,409
This is an electronic
mobility limitation device.
135
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,645
It'll prevent you from leaving
the premises.
136
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:07,214
Much like your hips in a turnstile.
137
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:12,920
If you come within two feet
of this device or 10 feet from it...
138
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,488
...you will be shocked.
139
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,790
Yeah, right. Like that scares me.
140
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:20,027
Like this collar is going to keep me
in this hellhole.
141
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,465
Come get me. Come on. Come on.
142
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,879
It's fascinating.
143
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,315
Despite three hours
of negative conditioning...
144
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:44,284
...the subject continues to go
for the food.
145
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,121
Son of a bitch.
146
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:51,725
What an idiot.
147
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:54,561
You know, I think Daddy needs
some exercise.
148
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:57,364
No. We are not letting him out.
149
00:09:57,531 --> 00:10:00,133
Oh, no. I was thinking
about getting him one of those...
150
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,235
...you know,
those giant hamster wheels.
151
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,538
Just to keep him running.
152
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:07,441
Where do you think
you're going to get one of those?
153
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,811
Duh? At the giant hamster store.
154
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:18,952
"Note to journal
regarding long-term subject:
155
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,855
IQ still plummeting.
156
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,257
No sign of bottom."
157
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,164
Dad, are you gonna make
the repairs?
158
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:34,968
No, you degenerate little ingrate.
159
00:10:35,369 --> 00:10:37,170
Hey, now.
160
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:40,273
That language might have been okay
when I was a child...
161
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:44,511
...but now that I'm paying rent,
I expect to be treated like an adult.
162
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,346
An adult?
163
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,682
You still live at home.
164
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:50,751
You still work at the mall.
165
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,152
Yeah, well, listen.
166
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:55,188
Pay up because I'm up
for assistant manager.
167
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,457
If I can ever get out of here.
168
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,726
You can get out
when you make the repairs.
169
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,561
No way. It's a matter of principle.
170
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:03,296
Maybe I can bribe my wait out.
171
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:06,033
How about a hundred bucks?
172
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,802
That's Kinko's money. Forget it.
173
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,305
Okay, 200.
174
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,441
-Three hundred.
-No way.
175
00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:19,112
What do you think, this stuff is free?
Every hundred dollar bill costs 8 cents.
176
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:25,118
-Where's the original?
-I left the original in the copy machine.
177
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:33,727
"Idiocy, obviously hereditary.
178
00:11:37,431 --> 00:11:39,599
In females."
179
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:45,739
Oh, Al, you promised
to take out the garbage.
180
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,874
Gee, I'm sorry, Peg, I'd love to.
181
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:52,079
But one more shock
and my liver will be medium well.
182
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:56,249
But then who's going to rub
my bottom?
183
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:59,453
Peg, I'm sorry, but the law is the law.
184
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:02,923
I did the crime,
so I should do the time.
185
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,493
Al.
186
00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:08,128
Hey.
187
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,864
Jefferson.
188
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:13,066
I'm stuck.
189
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,903
Well, divorce her.
Just leave me out of it.
190
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,840
I came here to rescue you...
191
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,043
...but there's a really big spider...
192
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:26,179
-...coming right towards me.
-Hey, getting stuck down here is...
193
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,248
...the best thing
that ever happened to me.
194
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:31,618
What are you talking about, Al?
This is a prison.
195
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:35,489
This isn't prison. Upstairs is a prison.
That's hard time.
196
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:39,025
Warden Red is always threatening
to stick me in the hotbox.
197
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,262
Okay. Let me get this straight.
198
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:45,198
Al is stuck here.
199
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,306
And I get to torture him.
200
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,276
Here's another hundred.
201
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,512
Now, you enjoy yourself.
202
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,313
Remember, you gotta be out by 2.
203
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,884
You'd be surprised at
how many people want to torture Dad.
204
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:06,286
No, I wouldn't.
205
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:10,657
So, Dad.
206
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:12,459
Are you sure you're having fun?
207
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:13,827
Yup.
208
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:17,831
Well, in that case,
let's play Wheel of Torture.
209
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:21,334
Our first contestant hails
from next door.
210
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:26,640
She's a banker, an avid golfer
and quite a screamer in bed.
211
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,845
You live next door, you hear things.
212
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:36,683
Well, what's she going to do,
Bud, pick my eyes out?
213
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:39,452
Sit on me till I crack?
214
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:42,789
Al...
215
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:47,928
...did I ever tell you
about how I became a feminist?
216
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:53,466
It all started when I read
The Feminine Mystique...
217
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,769
...and I threw away my Lady Schick.
218
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:58,138
Well, that's two mistakes.
219
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:01,775
Did you ever notice...
220
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,710
...how the nipples
in that poster seem...
221
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,445
...to follow you around the room?
222
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:12,385
That is so degrading to women.
223
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,758
Anyway....
224
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,964
My true awakening occurred...
225
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:28,168
...when I decided
to take charge of my own orgasms.
226
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:31,004
You know, Al,
how my womanhood blossomed.
227
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:34,774
Oh, God, how my stomach
is churning.
228
00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:37,410
You know, I couldn't have done it...
229
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,846
...without the support
of my women's group.
230
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:43,450
One day, we all sat in a circle...
231
00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:46,720
...naked, but non-judgmental...
232
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:52,158
...and then all six of us pulled out
our hand mirrors...
233
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,428
...and guess what happened?
234
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,968
Forty-two years of bad luck?
235
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:07,774
That day inspired an epic poem.
236
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,644
I think that I shall never see
237
00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:14,180
My G-spot smiling back at my me
238
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,393
I got to give you credit, big guy...
239
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:29,296
...I can't believe
that didn't break you.
240
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:33,033
You forget who I'm married to.
Torture is my middle name.
241
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,670
Well, then,
let's meet guest number two.
242
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:40,006
She's an aspiring actress,
an annoying sister...
243
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:42,208
...and she's just mastered
the alphabet.
244
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:45,945
Kelly Bundy, come on down.
245
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,687
How, Daddy.
246
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:59,459
Kelly will now improv
the history of the United States.
247
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,028
Enjoy.
248
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:06,232
Is that your real name, John Smith?
249
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:10,070
Me thinkum this one big kiss-off.
250
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:16,876
Sorry, Chief Thunder Pants.
251
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:21,014
What a glorious day
for our new country.
252
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:26,052
We defeated the British
and I have a new baby boy.
253
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:30,657
I'm going to name him Bob Dole.
254
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,561
General Sherman...
255
00:16:34,728 --> 00:16:38,531
...you have lit more
than Atlanta on fire.
256
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:44,404
As God is my witness,
I will never be horny again.
257
00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:50,443
Houston, we have a problem.
258
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,680
We can see Uranus.
259
00:16:56,015 --> 00:17:00,954
We seem to have an asteroidal flap.
260
00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,625
Hey, is this thing on?
261
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:13,066
He still won't make the repairs.
262
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:14,768
He is so stubborn.
263
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,537
You should see him on bath night.
264
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:21,341
Well, I did my best
with the Chinese daughter torture.
265
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:25,278
All right. Somehow we gotta come up
with the perfect torture for Daddy.
266
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:29,682
Now, what does he find
really repulsive and unbearable?
267
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:41,528
Why are you looking at me?
268
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:55,708
Boy, in a couple of years,
this stuff really builds up.
269
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,557
You know,
it's not half bad down here.
270
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:13,693
A couple of repairs,
a fellow could live down here.
271
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,970
Who's there?
272
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:35,949
Oh, Al...
273
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:40,420
...it's time for your conjugal visit.
274
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,924
Okay. Bud, help me.
275
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:53,166
Shut up, Al. You're my bitch now.
276
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:57,470
Oh, the horror.
277
00:18:58,204 --> 00:19:00,373
The horror.
278
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:04,444
No, no, Peg. No, I can't.
279
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,379
My knees are all skinned.
I'm bruised.
280
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:09,749
I got a press-on nail
stuck in my butt.
281
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,785
Relax, Dad.
282
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,220
Oh, son, thank God.
283
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:18,024
Son, get me out of this thing
before that thing comes back.
284
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,393
You promise to make the repairs?
285
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,497
Okay, son, you win. You win.
286
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:25,832
Gee, Dad.
287
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:29,235
Mom left teeth marks
all over your neck.
288
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,805
No, son. That was me.
I tried to sever my own jugular.
289
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,278
Damn clotting.
290
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:42,482
Okay. I'll let you go,
but you got to promise...
291
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,885
-...to give me a head start?
-Why, sure, son. What do you think?
292
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,288
I'm going to track you like a dog
and kill you?
293
00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:52,392
Sure, a normal father would do that,
but we're Bundys.
294
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:56,429
Oh, God, what does that mean?
You're going to eat me?
295
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,832
No, Bud.
296
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:03,236
I want to give you a pat
on the back. See, son, I--
297
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,305
I never thought
you took much after me.
298
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:08,508
I always thought you were more
of a Wanker than a Bundy.
299
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:09,943
Why?
300
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:13,546
Well, you know, your laziness,
your sloping forehead...
301
00:20:13,947 --> 00:20:16,950
...your ability to catch flies
with your tongue.
302
00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:19,686
-This what you call a pat on the back?
-No, son.
303
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:24,557
Now you got mad like anybody would,
but you got mad and even.
304
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:25,892
See?
305
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,095
That makes you a part
of the grand Bundy tradition.
306
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:31,998
You know, I'll never forget
my old man. Sweet guy.
307
00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:34,867
Sold my Schwinn
for the price of a drink.
308
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:39,739
I was so mad at him, before he knew it,
I enlisted him into the army.
309
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,009
When he came back from Korea,
he was so ticked off...
310
00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:45,378
...it's a good thing
he was in a wheelchair.
311
00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:48,615
Beautiful story, Dad.
312
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:51,784
The point is, I think that deep down
my dad was proud of me.
313
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:53,119
Why, he said that?
314
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:56,956
Not in so many words,
but he blinked twice for "Yes."
315
00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,994
So you're saying you were proud
of me for the way I tortured you?
316
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,296
That I am, Bud.
317
00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:06,432
Guess I learned from the best.
318
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,301
Son.
319
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:10,770
Dad.
320
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:17,944
Hey, pal...
321
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:21,114
...what do you say
we fix this place up together?
322
00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:23,583
-All right. Let's go get a burger first.
-Fine.
323
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:26,352
-On me.
-All right.
24466
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