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1
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,312
Peg, I got a problem.
2
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,781
Nails drying.
3
00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:18,052
For once, why couldn't it be
pie cooling, bread baking?
4
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:21,422
Divorce pending?
5
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:27,728
Look, Al, I am up from noon till Oprah,
solving this family's problems...
6
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:29,864
...and now I'm tired. I need a nap.
7
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,500
Kelly, come hold my hands up.
8
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:36,070
Dad.
9
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:40,107
Now, I'll listen to your problem
if you help me with mine.
10
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:44,412
Son, your problems are simple.
Just avoid liquids past 9:00.
11
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:49,417
Dad, I'm not 16 anymore, all right?
12
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:54,355
Life is a little more complicated.
I'm having serious girl trouble.
13
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:57,057
Well, me too, Bud,
and it's going to remain that way...
14
00:00:57,224 --> 00:01:00,928
...unless the couch suddenly
develops a taste for human flesh.
15
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:05,766
Dad, please. Now, lately I can't get
any girl to go out with me.
16
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:09,570
Oh, now, Bud, I find that
hard to believe. I mean, look at you.
17
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,706
But then again,
looks aren't everything.
18
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:16,911
Personality is important,
so we'll skip that.
19
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,681
So basically,
you have nothing to offer a woman.
20
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:24,084
Son, what you have to do is lower
your standards. Think desperate.
21
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:29,323
Think a single version of your mother.
22
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:35,029
Thanks, Dad, thanks. Now I never, ever,
ever want to have sex again.
23
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,965
Welcome to the club, son.
24
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:43,204
Let's talk about my problem.
My boss, Gary, is crankier than ever.
25
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:46,941
She's been riding me
like a cheap carnival pony.
26
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:50,544
"Wait on the customers,
ring up the bills, don't steal."
27
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,447
What a shrew.
28
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:57,318
Bud, this father-son stuff ain't bad.
We ought do this more often.
29
00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:50,471
So are you going to settle on those,
ma'am? They look beautiful on you.
30
00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:54,708
Don't try those high-pressured
sales tactics on me.
31
00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:59,413
I really thought this mule
would look better in white.
32
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,550
I bet that's what her husband said
on her wedding day.
33
00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:05,986
Do you have it in black?
34
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:08,556
Ma'am, I would really
love to help you now...
35
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:12,259
-...but I just went on break.
-Well, what about him?
36
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:15,162
Sorry, ma'am, I'm still on break.
37
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:19,900
And just when exactly
is your break over?
38
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,069
Well, it was gonna be
another 30 seconds...
39
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:25,673
...but now that I just helped
a customer, I got to start all over.
40
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,376
Rules are rules.
41
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:38,252
You know what we need, Griff?
A break room.
42
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,422
So we won't be bothered
by these hammertoed hags.
43
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:44,592
-Men, I need to speak with you.
-See what I mean?
44
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,895
Oh, let me take a wild guess.
You're on a break?
45
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:51,298
Don't interrupt us,
or we'll have to start over.
46
00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:56,103
-You two are completely useless.
-We've noticed that ourselves.
47
00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:59,907
We don't feel
that we're properly motivated.
48
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,009
Do you know
what would motivate us?
49
00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:04,178
A cattle prod?
50
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,615
Well, yes, that, of course...
51
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,918
...but I was thinking
more in the line of a break room.
52
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:14,254
Oh, yes, a break room.
53
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,324
And I could throw in a big screen TV
and a fridge full of beer.
54
00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:22,463
Hey, you're the boss.
55
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:28,135
Yes, I am. And before I build you
that dreamy break room...
56
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:33,107
...we're going to find out why
sales are down 500 percent this year.
57
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,644
Could it be the strength
of the deutsche mark...
58
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,079
...in today's international economy?
59
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:43,884
Women are walking less?
60
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:51,525
Nice try. Sit down, shut up.
61
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:54,094
We three
are going to go over the books.
62
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:57,965
Boy, that was close.
We almost got busted.
63
00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:01,301
Yeah. Good thing
we don't keep any books.
64
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:03,937
Come on.
65
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,479
Dad, I'm here.
66
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:32,299
Looks good from here.
67
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:36,804
I was just looking for my dad.
68
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,106
Interesting place to look.
69
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:46,180
-Maybe I should go find him.
-Oh, no rush. No rush.
70
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:50,184
Well, well, well,
young Bud Bundy. Let's see.
71
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:54,021
I haven't seen you since I threw
your family out of the company picnic.
72
00:05:55,923 --> 00:06:00,127
You have certainly turned
into a handsome young man.
73
00:06:00,294 --> 00:06:03,297
Your girlfriend
is a very lucky woman.
74
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,168
Actually, I don't have a girlfriend.
75
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:10,037
Really?
76
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:11,672
I would have guessed...
77
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:15,709
...that the ladies would be jumping
all over a studmuffin like yourself.
78
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,581
Well, you know, I bag my share.
79
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,854
You know,
I don't really want to be tied down.
80
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,724
Well, don't knock it
till you've tried it.
81
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,234
I think I hear my daddy calling me.
82
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:47,975
Where's the fire,
besides in my secret places?
83
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,647
What are you doing?
84
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,050
You.
85
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:02,189
-But--
-Don't fight it, Bud.
86
00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:10,697
Well, you could fight it a little.
87
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:21,008
You are a genius, Al.
I can't believe that that worked.
88
00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:23,844
When you tell a retired couple
their house is on fire...
89
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,980
...finishing their breakfast
just isn't a priority.
90
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:33,287
Mom, Dad.
What are you two doing up?
91
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:38,392
Looks like somebody
had a slumber party last night.
92
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,862
So it looks like
you took your dad's advice...
93
00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:44,731
...and found yourself
a desperate one, huh?
94
00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:48,635
-What makes you think that?
-Beer and Tang.
95
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:52,139
Bundy mimosas.
96
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:57,010
Must be a classy chick, son.
97
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,147
Yes, and she's painfully shy.
98
00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:04,351
So why don't you two head on upstairs,
and you can have breakfast in bed.
99
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:09,122
Oh, he thinks
we're going to embarrass him.
100
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,658
Come on, son,
we're not going to scare away...
101
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,728
...a girl who's kind enough
to hang out with you.
102
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,364
Hurry up with these mimosas,
Love Bud.
103
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,900
I want to get out of here
before your pa--
104
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:32,479
Daddy. Daddy, wake up. Daddy.
105
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:35,048
-Honey, let me do it.
-Daddy.
106
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,988
Al, wake up.
107
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:46,260
Son touchy monster in jammies.
108
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:48,762
Daddy, don't worry about it.
109
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:53,800
Now, Bud is downstairs helping Gary
into her corrective undergarments.
110
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:57,137
It's naked in the basement.
111
00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:58,805
Al, would you relax?
112
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,974
You told Bud
to find somebody desperate.
113
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:05,545
Well, when I said "aim low,"
I didn't think he'd excavate the tar pits.
114
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,650
I don't know what the big deal is.
115
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:12,552
I mean, lots of old rich people
like to date younger men.
116
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:17,524
Look at Cher,
Roseanne, Richard Simmons.
117
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,530
You're doing this to hurt me,
aren't you, Gary?
118
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:25,432
You had it in for me since day one.
119
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:29,736
Bundy, as much as you deserve it,
I am not doing this for revenge.
120
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:34,908
I am doing it because
I am genuinely attracted to Bud.
121
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:41,014
Oh, right,
like I'm supposed to believe that.
122
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:47,421
You obviously don't know your son.
He's a wonderful human being.
123
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,423
Who's his real father?
124
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:55,729
Well, it's Al, but you know, that night
I was thinking about Lyle Waggoner.
125
00:09:57,164 --> 00:10:01,068
Old people always try to destroy
what they can't understand.
126
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:04,838
Man, parents just don't get it,
do they?
127
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:11,311
-It's all my fault.
-Oh, honey, don't blame yourself.
128
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:12,612
You're right, Peg.
129
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:17,417
It's all your fault.
You scarred him, Peg.
130
00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:22,222
How could I have scarred him?
I don't even remember talking to him.
131
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,193
Peg, I'm telling you, he's looking
for the mother he never had.
132
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,195
Oh, that's ridiculous.
133
00:10:28,362 --> 00:10:29,896
Blow.
134
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,633
Good boy.
135
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:44,044
So I told that punk son of my mine
and his gargoyle girlfriend...
136
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,313
...I never wanted
to see them together again.
137
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,682
You better not turn around.
138
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:57,724
Looks like Bud can't get enough
of that hot gargoyle love.
139
00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,761
Bud is dead to me.
140
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:06,733
Damn. Al, look at your son go.
141
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,535
I have no son.
142
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:13,140
Those two were knocking boots
right in your basement?
143
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,442
I have no basement.
144
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:20,080
You guys on a break? Good for you.
145
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:27,320
Oh, Piglet, I almost forgot.
I got you a present.
146
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,823
Thank you, Pooh Bear.
147
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:38,565
When they start talking about
the honeypot, I got dibs on the sink.
148
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,802
Monogrammed beeper?
149
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:45,072
-What for?
-For when I need you.
150
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:49,376
I may not be available.
I mean, I do have a life of my own.
151
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:53,280
Oh, isn't that cute, Piglet.
152
00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:59,286
And just remember, when it reads 911,
Pooh Bear needs you bad.
153
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:05,892
Say hello to Kanga and Roo for me.
154
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,163
What'd you throw that for?
155
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:13,600
Because the cash register's
bolted down.
156
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,569
Al, lighten up.
157
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:19,206
You didn't have a problem when Kelly
dated that wealthy older man.
158
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:23,043
I wouldn't have a problem
if Bud dated a wealthy older man.
159
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,345
Anybody but Gary.
160
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,414
Hey, Al.
161
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:36,189
I was in the tanning bed
and I heard about Bud and Gary, huh?
162
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:37,958
It's all over the mall.
163
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,861
-Let me guess. You're all for it, right?
-Natch.
164
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:44,664
Who cares if Gary's a tarantula
in Chanel? I've seen worse.
165
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:48,235
-You married worse.
-Exactly.
166
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,537
Don't you see the beauty of this?
167
00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:55,242
Now that Bud has hitched his trailer
to Gary's sagging bumper...
168
00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,345
...you're in for a long ride
on easy street.
169
00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:00,647
No, no, no good can come of this.
170
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,816
Where do you want this fridge
full of beers?
171
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,852
Wherever. You don't understand
a father's feelings.
172
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,088
This is the worst thing
that's happened to me.
173
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:11,258
-Where do you want the TV?
-I don't care. Put it near the fridge.
174
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,760
I'm telling you,
there's not a power on Earth...
175
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:16,062
...that would make me accept
this unholy union.
176
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:19,399
Gary sent us here
to build you guys a break room.
177
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:20,667
But on second thought...
178
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:23,537
...who am I to get in the way
of two crazy kids in love?
179
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,174
Cheers!
180
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:35,782
Oh, no. Maybe this
Bud and Gary thing is all my fault.
181
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:40,854
Look, it says right here,
"What a mother does affects a child."
182
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,526
Kelly, was I a bad mother?
183
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:49,462
I don't know. Whose mother are you?
184
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:54,034
-Yours.
-Oh. Then were you terrible.
185
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:59,406
Who are you to judge?
Hey, don't you remember that time...
186
00:13:59,573 --> 00:14:01,875
...I made you
a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
187
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,811
Mom, it was petroleum jelly.
188
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:10,717
Yeah, and you didn't get chapped lips
that whole winter.
189
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,153
And I always took care of you
when you were sick.
190
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,554
Oh, please, Mom.
191
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:17,557
The time I had chickenpox,
you slapped makeup on my face...
192
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,693
...and sent me off to school.
193
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:24,731
And you met your first little boyfriend
that day, now, didn't you?
194
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:28,134
Yeah, Mikey Clemmons.
195
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:31,938
Boy, naptime
was a lot more fun after that.
196
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:34,975
Then I guess
I was not such a bad mother.
197
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:38,812
I guess not with me. But, you know,
you really screwed up Bud.
198
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:43,049
Peg, great news.
199
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:47,754
You know Bud's horrible, perverted
affair with Gary that you caused?
200
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,591
Yeah. I feel so guilty.
201
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:55,562
Like I should be on Court TV
with a blue dot on my face.
202
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,565
And yet in the bedroom
you complain about the paper bag.
203
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:01,368
Anyway, Peg, don't worry about it...
204
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:04,771
...because it's turned out to be
the greatest thing that happened to us.
205
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,206
What are you talking about?
206
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:09,309
I'm talking about
a break room, Peg, at work...
207
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:12,312
...with massage tables
and a fridge full of beer.
208
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:15,749
As long as Bud
keeps Gary happy, I'm happy.
209
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:20,120
And as long as I'm happy, I'm happy.
210
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:24,791
-Yeah, well, what about me?
-Don't be selfish, Peg.
211
00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,093
Well, what about Bud's welfare?
212
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,563
Isn't this an unhealthy relationship
for our son?
213
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:33,833
Look what else Gary
put in our break room.
214
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,770
Belgian bonbons.
215
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:41,374
Well, you know,
I always liked that Gary.
216
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:48,114
Oh, look, Al, I'm using the good china
with the dividers.
217
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,351
Good idea, Peg. Gary's a millionaire.
She's used to classy things.
218
00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:53,253
Now, if this relationship continues...
219
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:55,422
...we're gonna be
eating off paper plates...
220
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,590
...and then just throwing them away.
221
00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:01,995
Hey, which side
does the salad Spork go on again?
222
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:06,733
-On the left. Who raised you?
-No one.
223
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:10,070
How come you don't put out
the good plastic for my boyfriends?
224
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:13,306
Because your boyfriends
don't use utensils.
225
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:15,408
I'm so sick of this.
226
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,278
You know, I'm the oldest.
Bud's always been your favorite.
227
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:21,281
Just because he walked first,
and he talked first...
228
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:23,750
...and he can name all 20 states.
229
00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:27,354
I will tell you--
I'll tell you what else he did first.
230
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:28,988
He found himself a sugar daddy.
231
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,758
Something we thought
you would do, young lady.
232
00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:36,663
Face it, Kelly, Bud beat you.
The dark horse came in first.
233
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,865
Oh, now you got Bud a horse?
234
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,101
Hey, I was the one
who always wanted a horsey.
235
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:43,903
-Dad--
-Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, concentrate.
236
00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:47,607
If you help us tonight,
maybe Gary will buy you a horsey.
237
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:51,444
Oh, no. If she's that rich
I want a unicorn.
238
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,179
Fine.
239
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:05,058
Somebody call heaven.
There's an angel missing.
240
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:09,763
Oh, very, very nice, Bud.
Is this Baby Armani?
241
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,934
Doesn't he look great, Al?
242
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:18,004
You know, you remind me
of a very handsome young man...
243
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:20,140
...that was once
madly in love with me.
244
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:23,877
-You mean Daddy?
-Honey, I said handsome.
245
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:26,780
And in love with her.
246
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,652
I appreciate all the trouble
you went to...
247
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:35,388
...but I'm not sure I feel right
about Gary and me.
248
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:37,857
What are you talking about, Bud?
249
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:41,461
You and Gary
are perfect for each other.
250
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,930
Dad, she's getting more
and more possessive.
251
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:45,832
I mean, we don't even talk anymore.
252
00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:48,568
I feel like all I am to her
is a piece of meat.
253
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,403
My area. Let me handle this.
254
00:17:54,641 --> 00:18:00,747
Okay, Bud. So you're feeling
like a cheap sex toy, huh?
255
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:04,250
Yeah. It's demeaning.
How do you handle it, Kel?
256
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:08,955
I just accept it. I mean, come on.
Fish, they gotta swim.
257
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:12,859
The birds gotta fly. Cookie Monster's
gotta eat whatever the hell he eats.
258
00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:15,261
You know what I mean? You know?
259
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,530
No.
260
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:21,267
Dad, how am I supposed to stay with
somebody who doesn't respect me?
261
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,470
Honey, if marriage
was based on respect...
262
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,706
...your father and I
would have never gotten together.
263
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,141
That's right, pookie.
264
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:29,342
Excuse me.
265
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:32,479
-Who said anything about marriage?
-Well, Bud, you love Gary.
266
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:36,349
-No, I don't, Dad.
-Don't talk back to your father.
267
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,487
And love and marriage
go together like--
268
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,922
Peg, what do love
and marriage go together?
269
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:45,058
How the hell would I know?
270
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,728
If you two are so happily married
let's see you kiss.
271
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:53,299
Well, sure, we could do that...
272
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:56,603
...but I think that years of love
and commitment...
273
00:18:56,769 --> 00:19:00,106
...can best be represented
by a hearty handshake.
274
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:05,445
I said a kiss. That means lips.
275
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:07,447
Sure.
276
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:14,354
Oh, come on, Daddy,
you can do it. Just close your eyes.
277
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:25,865
Bud, Bud, Bud, don't ruin this for me.
278
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:32,005
Piglet, I've been paging you for over
an hour. Why didn't you call me back?
279
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,340
Well, I turned off the beeper.
280
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,446
-How dare you?
-Bud, you're grounded.
281
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:43,950
What is it, Piglet?
282
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,620
You know, we've had
some great times together...
283
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:52,892
...and I appreciate everything
you've done for me, and to me.
284
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:56,062
I think we should just be friends.
285
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:59,098
-Do not listen to him.
-Wait a minute.
286
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:00,934
You're dumping me?
287
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:06,406
Without me, you will spend
the rest of your life in this hellhole.
288
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:10,143
-No offense.
-None taken. Shall we have dinner?
289
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:13,613
I can get out of this on my own.
I don't need to be anybody's boy toy.
290
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:15,815
I'm going to make it
on brains and talent.
291
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:19,385
Oh, Peg, we're never
going to get rid of him now.
292
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:23,756
Go ahead, scoff.
At least I've got my dignity.
293
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,267
Well, Bundy,
I guess you know what this means.
294
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:37,170
Generic beer
in the break room fridge?
295
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,238
Guess again.
296
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,374
Less attractive masseuses?
297
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:47,380
Try no beer, no massages.
In fact, no break room.
298
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:51,184
And I'm installing a pay toilet.
299
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,553
Oh, that's not right.
300
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,055
I can't believe
I'm not going to get my unicorn.
301
00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:59,359
Oh, I can't believe
I polished Sporks for her.
302
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:02,395
I can't believe I almost kissed you.
303
00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:07,100
This means that
Bud's not the favorite now, huh?
304
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:08,534
Damn right.
305
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:11,604
So that means
I'm the favorite now, right?
306
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,172
Sure, why not?
307
00:21:13,339 --> 00:21:15,608
Look, Gary's gold card.
308
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:21,781
Hey, forget the fried chicken.
Tonight it's fried lobster.
309
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:25,018
Oh, wait a second.
Shouldn't we wait for Bud?
310
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:28,021
What does he need lobster for?
He's got dignity.
25361
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