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1
00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:05,206
You know I'm not one
to beat around the bush.
2
00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:07,241
Unless, of course, you're in it.
3
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,478
So I'll make this fast.
4
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:13,247
Like you know any other way.
5
00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:17,518
I'm planning a get-together for the guys
and you're going to help me.
6
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:21,021
Oh, God, Al.
Didn't I just get all dressed up...
7
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:24,291
...so I could go to some tired party
and impress your friends?
8
00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:27,328
That was the senior prom, Peg.
9
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,065
And you were only in your dress
for 20 minutes.
10
00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:33,868
Now, there's a big wrestling show
on cable Saturday night.
11
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:36,070
-Is it pay-per-view?
-No.
12
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,038
It is now.
13
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:42,343
Oh, come on, Peg. You want me
to look stupid in front of my friends?
14
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:47,915
The same friends who use Silly Putty
to give Nancy and Sluggo hooters?
15
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:52,153
Well, at least those hooters
are fun to play with.
16
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:57,291
Look, Al, it's not like I don't want
to help you, but I'm very busy.
17
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,360
You think I just sit here all day long?
18
00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:01,362
No, no, Peg. No.
19
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:06,133
From the potholes in the couch,
I'd say you sit here, and you sit here.
20
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:10,638
I don't sit there,
that's where I put my food.
21
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:52,413
Caramel corn on the cob.
22
00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:55,115
Needs more butter.
23
00:01:55,950 --> 00:02:00,254
Today on Oprah,
a clean house is a safe house.
24
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:01,489
Yeah, right.
25
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,652
I'm home.
26
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:35,122
Oh, Peg, don't-- Don't get up.
27
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:39,326
What's that? A beer? Sounds good.
28
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:42,129
No, let me get it.
29
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,765
Way to home-make, Peg.
30
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:51,438
What am I complaining about?
There's food and her mouth is shut.
31
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:05,085
For future reference,
the next time a producer asks you...
32
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:09,023
...what your method is,
please don't say the sponge.
33
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:14,461
Well, at least my form of birth control
isn't Miss Piggy sheets.
34
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,697
-I do not use Miss Piggy sheets.
-Yes, you do.
35
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:22,169
Kids, kids. Keep it down. Keep it down.
Your mother needs her rest.
36
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:25,539
The house is a mess,
and the family's starving.
37
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,975
Her work here is done.
38
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,811
Dad, Mom doesn't look so good.
39
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,881
You should see her
without her mask.
40
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:40,387
Look at this TV Guide. The last
chocolate stain was at 3:00 today.
41
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:43,190
She's obviously been
unconscious for hours.
42
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:47,328
Hey, and look. There's a dent
on the coffee table like--
43
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:50,931
Like it's been hit
by a big, hard hairdo.
44
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,836
Listen, Nancy Drool
and Hardly Boy...
45
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,706
...it's impossible for your mother
to have fallen.
46
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:02,943
That would mean that at some point,
she would have to have been standing.
47
00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:07,281
Mom stands. I saw her the other day.
48
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:12,086
That was just to shake
the crumbs out of her cleavage.
49
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:16,423
Dad, look, a bonbon stain.
50
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:19,026
Mom must have slipped on one.
51
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,129
I got it.
52
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,568
Nice try, punk.
53
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,572
Hey, Mom needs one of those guys.
54
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:35,676
The ones that make you take your
clothes off when you go to their office.
55
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,711
Principal?
56
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:44,518
Your mother doesn't need a doctor.
She's breathing. She's fine.
57
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:48,322
Now relax
and let Daddy enjoy his weekend.
58
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:51,158
Oh, my God.
59
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,666
Damn.
60
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,371
Am I in hell?
61
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,441
No, if you were in hell,
you'd be on a throne...
62
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,910
...and the devil would be packing.
63
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:15,582
Who are you people?
I don't recognize you at all.
64
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:21,422
Well, in that case,
thanks for stopping by. See you soon.
65
00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:29,730
Hey, I don't even know who I am.
I don't know anything.
66
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:31,999
Only thing you have to know
is Route 55...
67
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,134
...is the quickest way out of town.
68
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:40,107
Oh, my God. Mom has Indonesia.
69
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,676
Now, now, Kelly,
don't bother the nice lady.
70
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,411
She's just on her way out.
71
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:47,648
-Where am I going?
-You're going to see your family.
72
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,417
They must miss you.
You seem like a very nice person.
73
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:54,555
-Have a nice life.
-Oh, no. Now Dad's got it.
74
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:57,157
No, no. We are your family.
75
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,860
See, I'm your daughter, Kelly...
76
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:04,765
...and this is your son, Quasimodo.
77
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,369
Speaking of humps...
78
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,973
...why don't we tell Mommy
your nickname?
79
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,608
The Little Fur Maid.
80
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,080
You know,
I don't remember any of you.
81
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:23,283
But if you say you're my family,
I guess it's true.
82
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:28,021
Why would we lie about something
the courts have ruled on repeatedly?
83
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,190
Feeling better, Mom?
84
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:33,460
Well, Quasi, my head kind of hurts...
85
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,263
...and I'm starving.
86
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:37,598
Aren't you guys hungry?
87
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,033
You know we're hungry.
88
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,437
Well, why don't I make
some dinner then?
89
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,878
Mom's cooking?
I'm going to call the doctor.
90
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:53,647
Touch that phone, I'll kill you.
91
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,650
Kids, now that
we've retrained Mommy...
92
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:59,787
...I've come up with a schedule
to maximize her productivity.
93
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,623
There are three of us.
94
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:06,059
Mommy can only work
24 hours a day.
95
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,728
Why?
96
00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:11,598
There are two of us.
97
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,906
So let's divide this up evenly.
98
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:22,476
I get Mommy for 23 hours.
99
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:26,513
You get her for one.
100
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:29,349
Well, that's not fair.
101
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,952
I-- I love Mommy more.
102
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:33,954
No, I love Mommy more.
103
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:37,758
But I'm the only one
who had to love Mommy.
104
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,795
There's not even time
for Mom to go to bed.
105
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,665
Now you see
the brilliance of my schedule.
106
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:49,503
Hey, you guys have got to see how
clean Mom got the bathroom upstairs.
107
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:52,873
Did you know
that there's a window above the sink?
108
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:57,811
Kell, there's--
There's no window in the bathroom.
109
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,513
Yes, there is.
110
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,481
It looks into the house next door.
111
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:06,453
You know, there's this girl there
who looks exactly like me.
112
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:14,094
Every time I look over there,
she's always staring at me.
113
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,764
Maybe she's a lesbian.
114
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,608
Maybe she's an idiot.
115
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,814
She does kind of have
this really stupid look on her face.
116
00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:38,185
Come on. I'll show you.
I hope she's home. Come on.
117
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:42,756
Hi, Al. I got all the stuff
for your wrestling party.
118
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:45,826
Oh, except those
special French fries that you love.
119
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:49,162
I thought I'd just crinkle-cut them
myself. Is that okay?
120
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:53,333
Well, I'll let it slide, Peg,
since you're still recovering.
121
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,869
You know, I am a little tired.
122
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:59,339
Are you sure that I don't
sleep at all?
123
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,809
-Ever?
-It's odd, isn't it?
124
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,383
Well...
125
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,920
...there's just so much to relearn.
126
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:17,057
Let's see, I think I've got it though.
I love housekeeping.
127
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,626
I hate shopping,
except for groceries...
128
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:23,997
...and I can't stand
that stupid Oprah Winfrey Show.
129
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:29,069
Very good, honey.
Now, there's just one more thing.
130
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,038
You hate sex.
131
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,875
Don't want it. Have no use for it.
132
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:38,412
I know it's tragic, but I've learned
to live with it many years ago.
133
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,481
That's why you have to go
to the Jiggly Room.
134
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,183
That's it.
135
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:46,987
-To spare you.
-Al, you are such a good husband.
136
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:50,857
You have been so patient with me.
And I got you a copy of Big 'Uns.
137
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:55,028
I cut out all the articles,
so they won't slow you down.
138
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:03,370
Oh, baby, you're the greatest.
139
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:21,655
How does she get them
so crinkolicious?
140
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:25,826
I could really learn
to love that woman.
141
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,428
Hey, Daddy.
142
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:31,765
You-- You might not remember this...
143
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:35,035
...but before your accident...
144
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:38,105
...you had promised me a new car.
145
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:42,743
Pumpkin,
you might not remember this...
146
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:47,614
...but Mommy is the vegetable
in the family.
147
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,218
Oh, right.
148
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,057
Well, the other one.
149
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:03,163
Pumpkin, can you see
who's at that door?
150
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,239
No.
151
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,876
Maybe I need glasses.
152
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:21,548
Okay, Al.
153
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,588
I'm here.
154
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:32,025
Hey, hey, hey, do I smell...
155
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,460
...food?
156
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,797
Jefferson, my man,
I got more food stuck in my teeth...
157
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:39,900
...than my colon's seen
in many a year.
158
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,036
Thanks for sharing that, Al.
159
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,605
Oh, I'm not sharing it.
160
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,575
You-- You seem happy, Al.
161
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,578
It's a miracle, buddy. Behold.
162
00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:53,747
Oh, Peg.
163
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:58,218
Excuse me,
while I just rinse out these gloves.
164
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,621
You know, considering
what a good housekeeper I am...
165
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:04,925
...that shower drain was just filthy.
166
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,927
There's a drain?
167
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:10,630
What's going on?
168
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:14,634
Head injury, amnesia, reprogramming,
crinkle fries. Don't tell Marcy.
169
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,705
Oh, Peg, this is our
next-door neighbor, Jefferson.
170
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:22,109
Oh, the free-loading gigolo.
171
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,278
Would you like to try some bologna
I made from scratch?
172
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:30,750
It's part of the cavalcade of cold cuts
I'll be serving at Al's wrestling party.
173
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:36,423
Hey, is that radish carved
in the shape of Hulk Hogan?
174
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,128
Well, nothing's too good for my Al.
175
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:44,064
Speaking of that, I'm about to do
another load of underwear.
176
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,733
Did you give me all your yellows?
177
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,138
Sure did, honey.
178
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:55,809
Hey, where do I have to hit Marcy
to make her like that?
179
00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:59,946
Just hit her a new place every day.
180
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,849
Jefferson...
181
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:11,224
...you worthless cabana boy.
182
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:16,963
I told you six times to wash
the Mercedes and it's still filthy.
183
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,799
Is that pine freshness?
184
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:23,470
Hey, my shoes aren't sticking.
185
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,804
What's going on?
186
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,607
-Is someone else here?
-No, not really, Peg.
187
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:32,078
I was just-- Just tipping the paperboy.
Thank you, sonny.
188
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,551
Now, don't be rude, Al.
189
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:41,221
Perhaps the paperboy would like
some homemade peach cobbler.
190
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:43,456
Okay.
191
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:48,328
I know I'm not in a parallel universe
because Jefferson would be working...
192
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,731
...and Al's fly would be zipped.
193
00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:54,000
So, what the hell is going on?
194
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:55,435
Oh, well, it's very simple.
195
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:58,071
I bumped my head,
and now my loving husband Al...
196
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:01,775
...is helping me to regain
my former personality.
197
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,911
-Really?
-Here we go.
198
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:06,913
Al, you monster.
199
00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:10,350
Look, I can't let this happen.
There's something you have to know.
200
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:13,486
Yes, there is. I forgot to tell you
that among other things...
201
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:17,891
...you love to wash and detail cars,
especially Mercedes.
202
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:20,760
Right, Marcy?
203
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,267
Right.
204
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:37,510
Oh, Peggy, you don't have to do that.
Chamois lint.
205
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:42,082
Sorry. Oh, and I'm sorry
I didn't finish re-glazing your bathtub.
206
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,950
I'll do it when you're sleeping.
207
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:47,487
Do you sleep?
Because Al says good women don't.
208
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:51,891
Oh, I can't stand this another minute.
Look, Peggy...
209
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,893
...Al has brainwashed you.
210
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:56,896
You are not cheerful, tidy
and hard-working.
211
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,599
You are rude, mean and sloppy.
212
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:04,971
You're a horrible wife, a worse mother,
and proud of it.
213
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,107
I beg your pardon?
214
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:10,377
Peggy. And I say this with love.
215
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:15,582
You're the laziest bitch in Chicago.
216
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:24,557
And you are a bitter woman,
Marcy D'Arcy.
217
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:27,360
You see my loving,
picture-perfect family...
218
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:30,297
...and suddenly, your pretty boy
husband and foreign car...
219
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,632
...don't seem so spiffy, do they?
220
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:37,103
Well, your jealous lies aren't going
to get to Mrs. Al Bundy. Good day.
221
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:41,574
Peggy, wait.
222
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:46,012
And for future reference,
my Al prefers his paper on the porch...
223
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:48,415
...not in the bushes.
224
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:52,118
Remember that,
or we'll tell your supervisor.
225
00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:59,326
Hey, nice job peeling these grapes,
Peg.
226
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:03,229
Al, I have been lied to
and manipulated.
227
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:06,466
I can explain, Peg.
228
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,569
I can't believe what Marcy just said.
229
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,172
How can anybody
be so vicious and cruel?
230
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:15,675
She lies, Peg. She lies.
231
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:20,246
I know, Al. She's trying to tear apart
our happy family.
232
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:23,483
You know, I think she wants you.
233
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:27,787
She has been stalking me, Peg.
234
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:31,424
You may have to kill her.
There's a chain saw in the garage.
235
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,427
Oh, Al, I'm so mad.
236
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:38,365
I'm just so mad I could bake.
237
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,302
May I suggest...
238
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,571
...pudding in a cloud?
239
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:49,509
Eat up, boys. The little woman's
bringing plenty more.
240
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,479
So you finally dumped Peg, huh?
241
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:56,583
Better. I tamed the shrew.
242
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,121
Welcome, everyone.
243
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,059
What's wrong?
244
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:08,128
Do I need to freshen
the weenie tots?
245
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:11,197
Oh, no, no, no.
Everything's great, honey.
246
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,666
Yeah. It sure is, Peg.
247
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,803
Say, how did you get
these margaritas so frothy?
248
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:21,207
Well, I have this battery-operated
cocktail stirrer.
249
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,078
I found it in my nightstand.
250
00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:33,553
Here we go.
251
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:42,162
Wow, look what happened to Marcy.
252
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:48,134
I don't know what you guys are doing,
but please come do it to my wife.
253
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:53,473
This isn't Marcy. This is Sally.
She's going to be our ring girl.
254
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:56,176
What is going on here?
255
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,778
Al, I hate to accuse you of this...
256
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:02,949
...but did you sleep with Peggy?
257
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:07,086
Are you crazy? That would violate
our first commandment.
258
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:10,690
Thou shall never covet thy own wife.
259
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,929
Oh, hey, hey,
the undercard's starting, everybody.
260
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:21,367
Here we go. Oh, yes, yes.
261
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:24,804
I think you better rearrange those.
262
00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:34,747
-How's that?
-Oh, better. Much, much better.
263
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,450
Oh, Al.
264
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:41,921
-She's every man's fantasy, huh?
-She sure is.
265
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,592
Hey, Peg.
266
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:49,429
-What are you doing?
-Greasing my muffin tins.
267
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:52,031
Hey, can I grease a couple?
268
00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:53,633
Thanks, honey. But, you know...
269
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,970
...you have to spread them just right
or they won't rise.
270
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,540
Well, that's not going to be
a problem.
271
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,076
Come on, Al.
272
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:07,714
Fat Snoopy Schwartz just bit the nobs
off the human trash compactor.
273
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:12,619
Boy, you sure know your way
around a rolling pin.
274
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:14,454
Oh, it's easy, Al.
275
00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:16,489
You just grab it with both hands...
276
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:21,661
...and go back and forth,
back and forth.
277
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:25,231
Peg. You're driving me crazy.
Let's go upstairs.
278
00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:28,801
Oh, Al, you're terrible.
We're hosting a party.
279
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:32,238
Besides, you told me
that I don't like sex.
280
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,207
I'll make it quick.
281
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:42,582
Wow, you just got out of prison?
282
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:47,887
That means you haven't had sex
for a long time.
283
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:53,426
Nothing that I care to discuss.
284
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:03,570
-Oh, Al.
-Oh, yes.
285
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,606
Oh, yuck.
286
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:11,010
-Oh, Al.
-Oh, yes.
287
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,080
Oh, Al.
288
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:17,050
Oh, Al.
289
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,285
Don't move.
290
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:23,289
She's back. Grab your weenie tots
and run for your lives.
291
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,727
I'm gonna kill you.
292
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,495
How could you brainwash me?
293
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:34,267
I can't believe I've actually cooked,
and cleaned, and crinkled.
294
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:37,036
Al Bundy, I feel so violated.
295
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:40,239
Al-- Al Bundy? Is that my name?
296
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:43,309
Who are you?
297
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,612
Gosh, you're a pretty woman.
298
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:47,280
Nice try, Al.
299
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:50,550
There is only one punishment
severe enough for you.
300
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,453
No smiley face
on my omelet tomorrow?
301
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,055
No omelet, just toast?
302
00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:58,091
No toast at all?
303
00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,459
Upstairs.
304
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,761
Why, Peg, why?
305
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:05,264
-There's no-- There's no food upstairs.
-Oh, don't worry, Al.
306
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:08,267
When I'm done with you,
you won't have any appetite at all.
307
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,303
I know.
308
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:20,179
Don't go away. We'll be right back.
309
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:25,451
Hey, Bud,
I'd like you to meet the girl next door.
23730
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