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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,089 --> 00:00:04,395 - Come on, pick up! Pick up! Pick up! 2 00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:05,570 [line trilling] Oh, come on! 3 00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:06,963 [phone rings] 4 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,138 - This is Kernst. 5 00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:09,966 - Major, it's MacGruber. 6 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,489 You seeing this Ecuador shit? 7 00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:14,231 - You son of a bitch! - What? 8 00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:16,233 - Oh, cut the crap. You played me. 9 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:17,800 - Sir, the only thing I've been playing 10 00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:19,889 is with Vicki's beautiful breasts and vagina 11 00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:22,674 for ten straight hours, minus bathroom breaks. 12 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:25,199 So you mind telling me what the hell you're talking about? 13 00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:26,330 - You sold us down the river. 14 00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:27,592 This raid on Queeth's compound 15 00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:28,767 was supposed to be the end of this thing. 16 00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:30,856 You said Brimstone was contained. 17 00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,641 - Uh, yeah, I thought it was. 18 00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:34,643 But clearly someone is still behind it! 19 00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:37,863 Someone terribly evil. Someone who has to be stopped. 20 00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:40,736 - Oh, yeah. I'm talking to him right now. 21 00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:44,000 - Oh, thank God. Okay, Kernst, listen carefully. 22 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,523 You have to keep him on the line 23 00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,221 and trace that telephone call 24 00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:48,744 so we can find out exactly where-- 25 00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:51,268 - MacGruber! I'm talking about you. 26 00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:53,227 - Oh, you're fucking insane! 27 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:56,273 - Special agents in Ecuador found DNA 28 00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:57,622 on a dispersal device, 29 00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:59,842 and it's a presumptive match to you! 30 00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:02,366 - Come on, this is clearly a frame job. 31 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,629 Queeth's final fuck you from the grave. 32 00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:07,110 You gotta believe me. I'm one of the good guys. 33 00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:08,720 I got nothing to hide. 34 00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:10,983 - If that's true, then come turn yourself in right now. 35 00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:13,334 - You know I can't do that. 36 00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:16,380 - Well, I guess we both know how this is gonna end. 37 00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:18,426 - Yeah, with you putting a medal around my neck. 38 00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,080 - Or a bullet in your head. 39 00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,690 - Tomato, "toe-ma-toe." 40 00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:24,910 - MacGruber, I'ma give you one last chance. 41 00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:27,348 Every law enforcement officer in the country 42 00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:28,653 will be looking for you, 43 00:01:28,697 --> 00:01:30,481 and the orders will be shoot to kill. 44 00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:32,614 - Major, Queeth may be dead now, 45 00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:35,138 but someone is keeping his plan in motion, 46 00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:37,314 and you're seriously asking me to stand down? 47 00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:39,447 - I'm not asking. 48 00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:43,755 - Well, in that case, catch me if you can. 49 00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:46,758 [dramatic music] 50 00:01:46,802 --> 00:01:49,544 ♪ 51 00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:50,806 - Put it up. 52 00:01:58,161 --> 00:02:01,164 [dramatic music] 53 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:08,302 ♪ 54 00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:25,710 - ♪ MacGruber 55 00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:27,495 [fire crackles] 56 00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,715 ["O Christmas Tree" playing] 57 00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:33,109 ♪ 58 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,156 - ♪ Oh, Christmas tree 59 00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:37,940 - May I have this dance? 60 00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:38,897 - Aww. 61 00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:42,292 Oh, watch out for the gingerbread house. 62 00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:43,989 Spent all morning on that thing. 63 00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:45,687 - Sorry. 64 00:02:49,604 --> 00:02:51,345 - Whoops. [both laugh] 65 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,695 [baby babbles] 66 00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:58,830 - God, I love our life. 67 00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:03,487 - Well, that's good to hear because I have some big news. 68 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,274 Dixon, I'm pregnant. 69 00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:09,841 - We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die! 70 00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:12,192 - Oh, geez, thank God you're still alive! 71 00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:13,628 We are so fucked! 72 00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,107 [baby cries] 73 00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:18,198 - Aww, little one, don't cry. Everything's okay. 74 00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,547 [mouths words] 75 00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:22,376 - Jesus Christ, what are you guys doing here? 76 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:23,899 - Haven't you been watching the news? 77 00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:26,510 The poisonous cloud over Ecuador? 78 00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:28,512 Somehow Queeth's plan is still on. 79 00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,775 - That's impossible. 80 00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:33,082 - Tens of thousands of people have been reported dead, 81 00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:34,562 and we can only assume 82 00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,607 that number is going to rise in the coming days. 83 00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:39,088 - Holy shit. But I thought Queeth was dead! 84 00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:40,437 I thought this was over. 85 00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:42,439 - Checkers, the only thing that's over 86 00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:44,833 is the amount that this motherfucker is not over. 87 00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:47,227 I mean, we are in grave danger here! 88 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,490 Ooh, can I play with your baby? 89 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,405 - Authorities are looking for this man-- 90 00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,711 former military officer MacGruber. 91 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,974 - Oh, look, there's Uncle MacGruber. 92 00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:57,715 - Jesus, you're wanted? 93 00:03:57,759 --> 00:04:00,240 - Oh, yeah, super wanted. Like, shoot to kill. 94 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:01,589 Hell, I mean, for all I know, 95 00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:03,199 they could have their scopes on me right now. 96 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,679 Oh, look at that! 97 00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:06,420 Is that your little playset, bud? 98 00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:09,423 Huh? Oh, that's so cute. I'm jealous, and I'm an adult. 99 00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:10,859 Huh? Is that-- 100 00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:13,731 Oh, what? No. Aww. 101 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:16,604 Now, let's focus up. We got a terrorist to catch. 102 00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:18,432 Now, I won't go as far as to say that 103 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,216 this is a "Mission: Impossible," 104 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,263 but at the very least, it's a "Mission: Very Hard." 105 00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,047 No clues, no leads. 106 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,353 Hell, everyone we knew 107 00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:29,312 who was involved with the plan is dead now. 108 00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:33,273 - Well...not everyone. 109 00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:36,276 [dramatic music] 110 00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:38,582 ♪ 111 00:04:38,626 --> 00:04:39,757 - Everyone got their covers down? 112 00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:41,193 - Uh-huh. - Yeah. 113 00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:44,066 - Look, these are actual IDs I stole from the NSA, 114 00:04:44,109 --> 00:04:45,720 and I just tweaked them a little bit. 115 00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:48,026 So don't worry. We got this. 116 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,550 - ID, please. 117 00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,080 So your name is Sharold? 118 00:04:58,123 --> 00:05:01,736 - Of course my name is Sharold. Sharold Kernst. 119 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,217 - Interesting name. 120 00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:06,697 - It's a family name. 121 00:05:06,741 --> 00:05:10,571 My grandmother was Sharold, her mother and her aunts, 122 00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:15,750 and most of her sisters, and some of her sons. 123 00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:19,275 Goes for all genders, really, Sharold. 124 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,278 [tense music] 125 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,888 ♪ 126 00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:25,150 Something wrong? 127 00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,456 - No, it's just weird. 128 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:29,285 Both the S and the H are capitalized. 129 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,374 - Yeah. 130 00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:34,682 Uh, That's because it's S. Harold Kernst. 131 00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:37,119 - And the S stands for Sharold? 132 00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:38,642 - Stands for Sharold. 133 00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:42,690 - So your name is Sharold Harold Kernst. 134 00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:45,649 - Yep. 135 00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:53,527 - And here you go, Colonel Jebblidoh. 136 00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:57,008 - Jebblidoo. Matias Jebblidoo. 137 00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,575 - Sure. 138 00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:02,318 And Private Fukk? 139 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,494 - Mm-hmm. 140 00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:06,931 - Yep, Private David Fukk, Wisconsin's own. 141 00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:09,369 - Oh, I'm from Madison. - Get out of town. 142 00:06:09,412 --> 00:06:10,587 That's so fun! 143 00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:12,502 Private Fukk, isn't that so fun? 144 00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:13,851 From Madison. Tell him all about 145 00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:15,679 the different Wisconsin trivia that you know. 146 00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,115 - Well, I guess we should be leaving, so. 147 00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:19,509 - Well, I don't know. We got a little bit of time. 148 00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:22,512 - Bye. - Say goodbye, Private Fukk. 149 00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:25,994 - Bye. - Bye. 150 00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:32,957 ♪ 151 00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,529 - Hey, Vic. - Yeah? 152 00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:41,575 - You sure you don't need me in there? 153 00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:43,490 - Thanks, but I think this is something 154 00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,143 I need to do on my own. 155 00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:46,928 - I understand. 156 00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:49,321 Hey. Sharold. 157 00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,846 - Yeah? - Livestrong. 158 00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:55,763 - Okay. - Come on, give me five. 159 00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:58,461 Yeah. 160 00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:09,516 - Open 104! 161 00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:16,697 ♪ 162 00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:20,918 - Hello, Barrett. 163 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:27,882 - Victoria. 164 00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:30,711 - Oh, shut up-a you face! 165 00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,235 [tense music] 166 00:07:33,278 --> 00:07:34,454 Put 'em on. 167 00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:35,890 - Honey-- - Kee-yah! 168 00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:39,894 I am not your honey, honey. Not anymore. 169 00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:42,113 And you are not my king. 170 00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:48,685 So are we gonna do things the hard way? 171 00:07:50,295 --> 00:07:51,949 Or... 172 00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:56,432 The harder way? 173 00:07:56,476 --> 00:08:01,306 ♪ 174 00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:03,308 It's your choice. 175 00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:09,140 General. [coughs] 176 00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:12,927 - Just tell me you once loved me. 177 00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,016 I'll tell you whatever you want to know. 178 00:08:15,059 --> 00:08:16,887 - Sorry. 179 00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,846 I don't negotiate with terrorists. 180 00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:21,326 - [grunts, coughs] 181 00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:25,548 Queeth and his men are dead, 182 00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:26,767 but the plan is still proceeding. 183 00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:28,116 Tell me what you know! 184 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:30,945 Goll dar, Barrett! 185 00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:33,164 Who is executing Queeth's goll dar plan? 186 00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,297 - I don't know! - That's a fib! 187 00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:37,081 You're fibbing! - I'm not fibbing. 188 00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,822 I swear to you, I'm not fibbing! 189 00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,304 - Okay. 190 00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:46,134 Looks like I'm gonna have to take off the training wheels, 191 00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:50,442 and sit down real hard on the seat. 192 00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:53,968 - [groans] 193 00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:55,143 [coughs] 194 00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:58,102 - You know what that is? I think you do. 195 00:08:58,146 --> 00:09:00,365 Yeah, I think you know what that is. 196 00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:05,327 Yeah. That's your old pal, MacGruber. 197 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:08,330 - No! 198 00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:12,203 No! 199 00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,162 - Millions of lives are at stake, Barrett. 200 00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:16,643 Tell me what you know! - I don't know anything. 201 00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,166 - Tell me what you know! 202 00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:21,082 Tell me what you know! What do you know? 203 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:24,476 - Okay! Okay! I'll tell you! I'll tell you everything! 204 00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,001 - Thank you. 205 00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:31,483 - Twenty years ago, 206 00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:35,400 there was someone working on the inside with Queeth. 207 00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:37,011 I never knew who it was. 208 00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:40,014 I only knew them as the Architect. 209 00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:45,193 But they controlled everything. Everything. 210 00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:49,023 - Tell me more about this "The Architect." 211 00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:51,721 - I don't know much. [sniffles] 212 00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:53,244 They covered their tracks very well, 213 00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:56,291 so I was never able to piece the whole thing together. 214 00:09:56,334 --> 00:10:00,861 But what I do know is in my computer, 215 00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:02,906 locked away in the NSA. 216 00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:07,476 Sorry. Wish I could tell you more. 217 00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:11,219 - Apology not accepted. 218 00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:13,917 - Vicki, please, don't go. 219 00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:16,441 Vicki, please. 220 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,095 - Goodbye, Barrett. 221 00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:22,143 [knocks on door] - Victoria. 222 00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:25,407 Victoria! 223 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:28,236 [sobbing] Victoria! 224 00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:34,111 ♪ 225 00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:39,464 - Files you requested, sir. - This everything? 226 00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:41,031 - Not exactly. 227 00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:46,950 This is everything. 228 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,388 - Jesus. 229 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:53,435 - If I may, sir, any idea where he is? 230 00:10:53,478 --> 00:10:55,872 - That's what I'm hoping to find out. 231 00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:05,055 Where the hell are you, MacGruber? 232 00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:07,188 [suspenseful music] 233 00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:09,886 - Oh, hold that, will you? 234 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:12,367 Thank you. Are you going up? 235 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:17,285 - All the way to the top. Isn't that right, Agent Piss? 236 00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:18,721 - Mm-hmm. 237 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,027 [elevator dings] 238 00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:27,817 [dramatic music] 239 00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:34,694 ♪ 240 00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,219 - Jesus. 241 00:11:40,612 --> 00:11:43,746 [suspenseful music] 242 00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:46,009 ♪ 243 00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:48,359 - Shit. We'll never find it. 244 00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:51,275 - They're alphabetized. - What? 245 00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:52,886 - Got it. - [gasps] 246 00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,670 - Nice job, Piss. 247 00:11:58,065 --> 00:12:00,763 [dramatic music] 248 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:07,683 ♪ 249 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:27,181 - Who is this guy? 250 00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:28,922 - Hurry up, Vic. This computer might be 251 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:31,359 our only shot to find out who the Architect is. 252 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:33,753 - I know, I'm sorry, it's just going so slow! 253 00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,276 Come on! Come on! 254 00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:36,973 - Checkers, how we doing with the 5-0? 255 00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:38,888 - All doors are locked, there's no movement 256 00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:40,934 in Stairwell 6, so that's our best bet for escape. 257 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:42,718 We make it to the parking structure 258 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,850 and drive out the front gate 259 00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,286 before anyone knows we were here. 260 00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:46,548 That's probably not what'll happen, 261 00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:47,897 but it's always good to have a plan, I guess. 262 00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:49,507 - Loud and. 263 00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,814 [computer beeps] - Shoot, shoot, shoot. 264 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:54,469 Guys, we have a problem. We need his password. 265 00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:56,427 - Oh, shit, shit, shit! Shit! 266 00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:57,907 Okay, relax, Vicki. 267 00:12:57,951 --> 00:13:00,867 Last thing we need is a major freak-out right now. 268 00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:01,868 Okay, so don't panic. 269 00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:03,260 We'll get through this together. 270 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:04,784 So try this. You ready? - Yeah. 271 00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:08,178 - Type in six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine. 272 00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:09,484 - Okay. 273 00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:11,312 Six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six. 274 00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:12,661 - Nine. One final nine in there. 275 00:13:12,704 --> 00:13:14,837 - Nine. [computer beeps] 276 00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:16,099 - Fuck. 277 00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:18,275 Okay. Okay. Okay. No worries. 278 00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:20,625 Let's just change it up a little bit and go with this. 279 00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:24,716 Six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, 280 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:25,761 six, nine. 281 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:28,938 [computer beeps] 282 00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:32,507 Shit fuck! Okay. Okay. 283 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:35,205 Six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, 284 00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,468 six, nine, six, nine. 285 00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:38,861 [computer beeps] 286 00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,950 Oh, God! Oh, God. Oh, God. What do we do here? 287 00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:43,561 Okay, okay, how about just six, nine, six, nine? 288 00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:47,609 Fuck! 289 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,396 [sentimental music] 290 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:58,620 ♪ 291 00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,109 Six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, 292 00:14:09,152 --> 00:14:11,720 six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, 293 00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:14,244 six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, 294 00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,985 six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, 295 00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:17,508 six, nine, six, nine, 296 00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:19,597 six, nine, six, nine, six, nine. 297 00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:20,685 Okay, try that. 298 00:14:20,729 --> 00:14:23,514 No! Wait, wait, wait. Wait. 299 00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,386 Six, nine. 300 00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:30,173 Shit! 301 00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:33,350 Well, it's official: we're never gonna get in. 302 00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:35,570 - Let me try something. 303 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:37,920 [computer beeps] 304 00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,095 Oh, we're in! 305 00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:42,185 - Nice on, Vic! How many 69s was that? 306 00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:43,404 - Uh, none. 307 00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:45,014 He used our wedding anniversary. 308 00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:48,017 - Oh, your wedding anniversary. - Yeah. 309 00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:51,107 - Oh, what a fucking goober. [laughs] 310 00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:52,456 That's so dumb. 311 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,241 Jesus. 312 00:14:54,284 --> 00:14:56,721 Ugh, just makes me barf in my mouth a little bit. 313 00:14:56,765 --> 00:14:58,158 I mean, anybody could look that up. 314 00:14:58,201 --> 00:14:59,420 It's public record. 315 00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:01,378 That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen. 316 00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:02,989 So fucking dumb. 317 00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:05,730 Okay, now do a search for "architect" or "Queeth" 318 00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:07,602 or maybe the word "plan" 319 00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:09,386 or the phrase "miscellaneous evil." 320 00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:10,735 - On it. 321 00:15:10,779 --> 00:15:12,302 - We're running out of time! 322 00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:13,782 - Just a few more seconds! 323 00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:23,357 [ominous music] 324 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,621 ♪ 325 00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:28,101 - Oh, my God. 326 00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:35,064 ♪ 327 00:15:56,694 --> 00:15:58,566 Family torn apart. 328 00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:02,091 Mother murdered. 329 00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:05,051 [suspenseful music] 330 00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:11,840 ♪ 331 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:15,713 Son of a bitch. 332 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,806 - Got it! - Yes! 333 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,025 - It might take me a while to crack it, though. 334 00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:24,853 It's encrypted. [phone buzzes] 335 00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:27,508 - Go for Grubs. - Son, are you okay? 336 00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:29,075 Your face is all over the news. 337 00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:31,425 - I promise you, Dad, it's all horsepucky. 338 00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:32,730 - I know. 339 00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:34,080 You could never do something like this. 340 00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:36,821 - Thanks, Dad. But I think I know who did. 341 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:39,128 Have you ever heard of an "The Architect?" 342 00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:41,913 - Can't say I have. Where'd you get that intel? 343 00:16:41,957 --> 00:16:44,220 - Stopped by the pen today and had a little chat 344 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:45,743 with Barrett Fasoose. 345 00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,832 We're at the NSA right now working his lead. 346 00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,573 - No, you gotta get out of there! 347 00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:53,403 Don't you see? This is a trap. Fasoose is setting you up! 348 00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:56,232 - I appreciate your concern, but we're right on the verge 349 00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:57,929 of blowing this thing wide open. 350 00:16:57,973 --> 00:17:00,628 Then we can go to Kernst and get back on the mission. 351 00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:03,544 - Wait, Kernst is running things now? 352 00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:06,155 - Yeah. - God. 353 00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:10,029 MacGruber, that's your guy. Kernst is your Architect. 354 00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:11,639 - Daddy, I seriously doubt that-- 355 00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:14,207 - Trust me, son. It has to be Kernst. 356 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,296 Now, listen, you gotta get out of there. 357 00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:17,688 You're in real danger. 358 00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:19,299 - Guys, I think we got some movement over here. 359 00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:20,865 - Shit. Dad, hold on. 360 00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:21,953 - Okay, I'm gonna copy the files to the drive, 361 00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,564 but they're really big ones. 362 00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:25,479 - Please go! - Hang on, Dad. Hang on. 363 00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,002 - Okay. 364 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,701 Just gotta drag, drop this one over here. 365 00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:35,184 Drag it. Drop it. 366 00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:36,490 Drag it. 367 00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:39,058 - Hang on, she's just dragging and dropping. 368 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:41,625 - Drag it. Whoop. 369 00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:44,541 Drag it. Drop it. 370 00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:46,108 - Shit. 371 00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,892 [tense music] 372 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:49,024 - Shit, we got company. 373 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,765 - Okay, sorry, Dad, gotta jump. 374 00:17:50,808 --> 00:17:52,636 The pigs are porking it up over here. 375 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,551 - MacGruber! 376 00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:55,944 - Just a few more seconds! 377 00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:57,467 - We don't have a few more seconds! 378 00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:58,686 - Okay. But the flash drive! 379 00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:00,296 - Just leave it! 380 00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:03,778 This will buy us some time. 381 00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:05,432 [alarm blaring] 382 00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:06,868 Go! Go! [Vicky yells] 383 00:18:06,911 --> 00:18:10,089 [dramatic music] 384 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:16,921 ♪ 385 00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:19,750 - [yells] 386 00:18:19,794 --> 00:18:22,275 Oh, my leg! Oh, fuck! 387 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:24,668 Good call on the water thing, Piper. 388 00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:26,235 Always playing checkers. 389 00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,237 [door crashes open] 390 00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:29,586 Oh, fuck! Go, go, go! 391 00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:32,633 I'll meet you at the SUV! Go, Vicki! Go! 392 00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:36,158 - MacGruber! - Oh, fuck! 393 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,160 [groaning] 394 00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:39,292 Ahh! 395 00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:42,251 [dramatic music] 396 00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:46,429 ♪ 397 00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:48,431 - MacGruber, stop. 398 00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:50,259 I said stop! 399 00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:52,043 [gunshot] 400 00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,873 Don't move a muscle. 401 00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:00,748 - Well, Major... 402 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,578 I guess you caught me if you could. 403 00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:07,276 - I guess I did, Colonel Jebblidoo. 404 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:10,932 - You son of a bitch. My dad warned me about you. 405 00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:12,716 You're nothing but a silver-tongued 406 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,196 snake oil salesman, 407 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,720 saying whatever it takes to keep up the fucking grift. 408 00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:20,115 You know what, I wish I had a fucking sledgehammer right now 409 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,465 so I could splatter your brains against the fucking wall 410 00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:23,858 in a million pieces, 411 00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,294 one for each of those innocent people 412 00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:28,123 who lost their lives in Ecuador because of you! 413 00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:30,256 - Are you done? 414 00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:32,345 - Oh, I haven't even started yet. 415 00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:36,958 - Well, let me know when you are, 416 00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:38,220 so I can give you this. 417 00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,136 - Vicki's hard drive. 418 00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:44,835 I-I don't understand. 419 00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:46,750 - Found it in our evidence room. 420 00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:49,884 We can't crack the files, but maybe you can. 421 00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:52,452 [heartfelt music] 422 00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:56,282 Come on, Mac. We're on the same team here. 423 00:19:56,325 --> 00:20:02,723 ♪ 424 00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:08,032 - Why are you doing this? 425 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:13,124 - I, um, I lost my mom too. 426 00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,433 - I'm sorry. 427 00:20:17,477 --> 00:20:18,739 What was her name? 428 00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:21,132 - Elizabeth. 429 00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:24,875 - Darcy. 430 00:20:26,703 --> 00:20:28,052 What was her middle name? 431 00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:29,140 - Look, Mac, you don't have much time. 432 00:20:29,184 --> 00:20:30,620 - Yes, no, you're right. Yes. 433 00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:34,363 - You take that, and you go find that son of a bitch. 434 00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:35,973 - I will. 435 00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:43,154 ♪ 436 00:21:01,085 --> 00:21:03,305 - Are you okay? 437 00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,438 - It just doesn't make any sense. 438 00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:09,355 I mean, my dad was so sure that Kernst was the Architect. 439 00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:13,359 And my dad is just like me-- he doesn't make mistakes. 440 00:21:14,534 --> 00:21:17,319 Hell, maybe Kernst is just playing me. 441 00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:20,670 Maybe this is all just one big long con. 442 00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:22,977 But why? 443 00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:26,589 [sighs] Something just doesn't add up. 444 00:21:26,633 --> 00:21:30,245 What's the play here? What's the fucking play? 445 00:21:35,468 --> 00:21:37,165 - Oh, my God. 446 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:40,908 - MacGruber! Did you just toot? 447 00:21:40,951 --> 00:21:43,345 - Nice try, Vic, but you know as well as I do 448 00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:45,434 that whoever smelt it dealt it. 449 00:21:45,478 --> 00:21:48,350 [mysterious music] 450 00:21:48,394 --> 00:21:50,439 Whoever smelt it... 451 00:21:51,919 --> 00:21:54,008 Dealt it. 452 00:21:55,531 --> 00:22:00,319 Oh. My. God. 453 00:22:02,146 --> 00:22:03,626 [dramatic music] 454 00:22:03,670 --> 00:22:06,629 [voices overlapping] Whoever smelt it dealt it. 455 00:22:06,673 --> 00:22:08,370 Whoever smelt it dealt it. 456 00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:10,590 Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever smelt it dealt it. 457 00:22:10,633 --> 00:22:13,506 Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever smelt it dealt it. 458 00:22:13,549 --> 00:22:16,247 Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever smelt it dealt it. 459 00:22:16,291 --> 00:22:19,294 Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever smelt it dealt it. 460 00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:21,557 Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever smelt it dealt it. 461 00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:24,343 - I know who The Architect is. 462 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:28,564 ♪ 463 00:22:28,608 --> 00:22:31,567 My own fucking father. 464 00:22:36,746 --> 00:22:39,706 [dramatic music] 465 00:22:39,749 --> 00:22:46,887 ♪ 31772

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