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1
00:00:02,269 --> 00:00:04,669
( Jack Jones' "The
Love Boat" playing )
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00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,111
♪ Love ♪
3
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:17,949
♪ Exciting and new ♪
4
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:20,852
♪ Come aboard ♪
5
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:26,703
♪ We're expecting you ♪
6
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:29,260
♪ And love ♪
7
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:34,944
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
8
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,902
♪ Let it flow ♪
9
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:43,119
♪ It floats back to you ♪
10
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:46,522
♪ The Love Boat ♪
11
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:51,495
♪ Soon will be
making Another run ♪
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00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:54,764
♪ The Love Boat ♪
13
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:59,268
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
14
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:01,471
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
15
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:05,731
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
16
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:11,014
♪ And love ♪
17
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:14,139
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
18
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:19,188
♪ It's an open smile ♪
19
00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:23,527
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
20
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:27,997
♪ It's love ♪
21
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:33,692
♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪
22
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,165
( upbeat theme playing )
23
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:04,601
What's bugging you, Gopher?
24
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,404
No, it's not just
what, it's who.
25
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,539
It's Captain Stubing.
26
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:10,940
Now, what's he
done to you today?
27
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:11,974
It's not just today.
28
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:13,142
It's all the time.
29
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:14,777
It's always, "Gopher,
get a haircut.
30
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,980
Gopher, do this.
Gopher, do that."
31
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,549
I'll bet you that on every
given cruise he says,
32
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,184
"Gopher, do something"
at least 20 times.
33
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:22,974
How big a bet?
34
00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:26,089
Fifty bucks.
35
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,724
I'll take that bet.
36
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,392
You got it. Me too.
37
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:30,983
Report back in 10 minutes.
38
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,064
Gopher.
39
00:02:34,088 --> 00:02:35,865
That's one.
40
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:38,168
I'm gonna clean up this cruise.
41
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:40,570
STUBING: Gopher!
42
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,672
That's one.
43
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,663
( horn honking )
44
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:51,313
Lee, you are gonna have
a fabulous time. ( sighs )
45
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:53,215
Laraine, it's just
a business trip.
46
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:54,451
I know.
47
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,886
And I'll be all tied up
with the ad campaign.
48
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,488
I know.
49
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,590
But maybe we can do it
together next time, hm?
50
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:01,891
I know.
51
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:04,728
It would be nice if we could
get away alone sometime.
52
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,229
Maybe then we'd have a chance...
53
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:07,230
I know. Talk.
54
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:08,231
We never really talk.
55
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:09,687
But we will when I get back.
56
00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:12,057
I know.
57
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:18,808
WOMAN: Laraine! Laraine!
58
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,409
Laraine Graham!
59
00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:22,278
Look who it is, Herman.
60
00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:23,513
I could die.
61
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,514
It's Laraine,
62
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,382
from the apartment
down the hall.
63
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:27,417
Oh, I could die.
64
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,051
Mr. and Mrs. Bass.
65
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:30,186
What are you doing here?
66
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,587
Well, what's everybody doing?
67
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:32,756
Taking a cruise.
68
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,624
Oh, I hope our cabins are close.
69
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:36,626
Herman, look at our
tickets. Oh, oh, no,
70
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,394
I'm not going. I-I just
came to see Lee off.
71
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:39,451
You're not going?
72
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:41,932
But your Lee is?
73
00:03:41,956 --> 00:03:43,700
What happened,
honey? A little fight?
74
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,868
You know, you can tell me.
75
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,203
My lips are sealed. Mm.
76
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,239
Isn't that right, Herman?
77
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:52,442
Lee's researching a new
ad campaign for the ship line.
78
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,377
And he thought I would
be bored if I came along.
79
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,279
You know, he'll be working late.
80
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,381
Oh. ( chuckling )
81
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,183
And you bought that?
82
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,819
I'll tell you, I wouldn't
let my Herman
83
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:05,321
out of my sight for a minute.
84
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:06,622
Right, Herman?
85
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:08,158
Herman?
86
00:04:08,182 --> 00:04:09,792
Herman!
87
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:12,376
Come here. We've
gotta get aboard.
88
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,265
Well, I'll keep an eye
on Lee for you, dear.
89
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,233
Oh, no, I don't think...
You don't have to thank me.
90
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,769
You know, not everybody
is like my Herman.
91
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,371
Come, Herman.
92
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:24,729
( sedate theme playing )
93
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,846
Mr. Yamashiro.
94
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:32,047
We've been expecting you.
95
00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:33,683
I'm Captain Merrill Stubing.
96
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,185
It's a pleasure to
have one of Japan's
97
00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:37,954
foremost industrialists
as an honored guest.
98
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:42,346
My personnel will respond
with alacrity to your every wish.
99
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:45,962
What he say? Hm.
100
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,797
Oh, uh... Uh, welcome aboard.
101
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,465
Oh. Heh-heh.
102
00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:52,335
I'm Ken Davis, Mr. Yamashiro's
sales manager in the States.
103
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,370
It's my pleasure. I
hope you like our ship.
104
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:57,340
Oh, he will like your ship.
105
00:04:57,364 --> 00:05:00,844
Ship is made of steel from
Yamashiro Steel Company.
106
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,513
Largest in the Orient.
107
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:07,016
Also hat and, uh, wristwatch.
108
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,017
Heh. Uh-heh.
109
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,475
Shaving lotion.
Swinging Samurai.
110
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:13,723
Well, if there is
something you need
111
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,725
that you don't already
make, let me know.
112
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,327
Enjoy your cruise.
113
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,328
Thank you.
114
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:19,795
Heh. Uh, Davis. Hm?
115
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,263
Uh, you keep eye on him, hm?
116
00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:22,532
Oh.
117
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:27,202
If he do good, I make him
captain of my new oil tanker.
118
00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:28,405
I'll remember that.
119
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:32,174
Also remember, Davis,
why we take this cruise, huh?
120
00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:36,546
You make real estate deal
with, uh, that, uh, Newman lady.
121
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:39,148
Otherwise Yamashiro
get very angry.
122
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,684
Make you houseboy on oil tanker.
123
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:42,807
( both laugh )
124
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,488
Uh.
125
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,656
Little joke.
126
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,491
Oh, yes, sir, it was.
127
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:51,527
Well, sir, better get,
uh, road on the show.
128
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:53,463
Uh, that's "show
on the road," sir.
129
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:54,797
Davis. Hm?
130
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:55,887
You lip your button.
131
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:03,940
Hi, lovely ladies.
132
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:04,941
Could I help you?
133
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,276
Adam Bricker, the ship's doctor.
134
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:07,276
Oh, a doctor.
135
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,477
Are you a specialist?
136
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:09,501
Mm-hm.
137
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,648
The Latin Hustle.
138
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:14,417
I'm Eve Colbert and
this is my sister-in-law,
139
00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:15,418
Ruth Newman.
140
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:17,186
Hi, Eve, Ruth. Uh.
141
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,888
How do you do? How are you?
142
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:21,224
Uh, Ruth is recently
widowed and not into dating.
143
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,559
I, on the other hand,
am recently divorced
144
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:25,295
and into dating heavily.
145
00:06:25,319 --> 00:06:26,863
Eve, you're in luck.
146
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,564
I'm also recently divorced.
147
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:30,633
Oh, I bet you date heavily too.
148
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:31,801
Uh-huh.
149
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,825
That's why I'm
recently divorced.
150
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,035
Come on, ladies. Thank you.
151
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,413
Nice, huh? Oh, it's pretty.
152
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:44,781
Oh, Ruth, this is gonna be fun.
153
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,782
Beautiful, isn't it?
154
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,850
It is so bourgeois.
155
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:49,786
Dad, do I have to
come on this cruise?
156
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,688
Oh, come on, you'll love it.
157
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:54,223
Look, Vanessa, you're away
at school most of the year.
158
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,759
I want a chance to get
acquainted with my daughter.
159
00:06:56,783 --> 00:07:01,297
You, um... You are my
daughter, aren't you?
160
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,531
Dad, I'll make you a deal.
161
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:03,700
You don't pick on my denims,
162
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:05,435
I won't pick on
your double knits.
163
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,470
Hello, I'm your cruise
director, Julie McCoy.
164
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:08,470
Slade Summerhill.
165
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:09,806
And this is my
daughter, Vanessa.
166
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:10,907
How do you do?
167
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,208
I'm sure that you two are gonna
168
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,476
have a wonderful time here.
169
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:14,611
We have lots of activities:
170
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,078
swimming, dancing, shuffleboard.
171
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,748
Do you have any
cultural events? Well, yes.
172
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,016
You can pick up
a list of lectures
173
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,017
from the purser's desk.
174
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,018
Thank you.
175
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,352
Mm-hm.
176
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:24,988
Okay, Mr. Summerhill,
let me check and see
177
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,452
what your seating
arrangement will be for dinner.
178
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,493
Yeah, you get strict
teachers to help you.
179
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:31,828
Oh. ( speaks indistinctly )
180
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:35,698
Who is that, uh, deck
hand Vanessa's talking to?
181
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,033
Oh, sir, that isn't a deck hand.
182
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,035
That's our assistant
purser, Burl Smith.
183
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,438
He's a ship's officer.
184
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:43,540
You're kidding.
185
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,307
Not only do we have lectures,
186
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:47,476
we have a terrific
ship's library.
187
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,278
Great. Do you have
any books on Lenin?
188
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,748
No. But I think we've
got one on Ringo.
189
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:52,849
Come on. I'll show you.
190
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,150
STUBING: Gopher?
191
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,118
Ah. Uh, excuse me.
That's the captain.
192
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,887
Yes, sir? ( clears throat )
193
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,255
You're supposed
to help Miss McCoy
194
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,556
board all the passengers,
195
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,191
not just the pretty ones.
196
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,192
Yeah, yes, sir.
197
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,216
Yes, sir.
198
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:08,297
( sighs )
199
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,855
That's two, and we
haven't even left the port yet.
200
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:16,039
Oh, it's ship's business, sir.
201
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,328
( horn honking )
202
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,333
( chattering excitedly )
203
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,827
( horn honking )
204
00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:52,878
( speaking inaudibly )
205
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:15,431
Excuse me, sir, but,
uh, you're in my cabin.
206
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,800
Uh, there must be some mistake.
207
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:19,035
What? This is my cabin.
208
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,769
Oh?
209
00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:21,992
Well, I'm not leaving.
210
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:26,464
Well... what should
we do about it?
211
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:33,283
I guess we'll just have
to make the best of it.
212
00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:35,139
( both laughing )
213
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:39,311
BOTH: Mm.
214
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:44,159
I was getting sick of
meeting in hotel rooms.
215
00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:46,596
Lee, there's gonna
be a Welcome Aboard,
216
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,331
a cocktail party
on the Lido Deck.
217
00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:51,067
Yeah. We can
be, uh, lovers later,
218
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,436
but, oh, let's be people first.
219
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,438
Please, please? Mm.
220
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,540
Okay, I guess I can wait.
221
00:09:57,564 --> 00:10:00,243
Oh, good.
222
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,844
Is the party over yet?
223
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,146
( laughs )
224
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,447
Lee!
225
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:07,172
( upbeat theme playing )
226
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:23,198
Uh, here you go, Mr. Yamashiro.
227
00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:24,466
Dragon's Breath.
228
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:26,669
Our finest sake.
229
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:27,703
Of course. Heh.
230
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:29,605
Made by Yamashiro Distillery.
231
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:30,840
( chuckles )
232
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:32,463
Uh, up the hatch.
233
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,110
Mm.
234
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,212
Mr. Yamashiro? Hm?
235
00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:38,614
Listen, now that
we're aboard, uh,
236
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:39,982
how about taking a look at that
237
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:41,316
invention I talked to you about?
238
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:42,517
Oh, no, no, no. Hm?
239
00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:45,120
Your invention not
ready to work yet,
240
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,756
and, uh, I'm not ready to buy.
241
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,891
Now, you concentrate
on your job,
242
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:50,615
or you gonna be ready
for unemployment.
243
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:55,531
Right. Uh... Mrs.
Newman is on board, sir.
244
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,766
Oh. Good, good.
245
00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:01,504
Now, you arrange for lady to
sell us electronics factory, hm?
246
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:04,573
I am tired of hearing
no for answer. Hm.
247
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,475
Make her offer
she cannot excuse.
248
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:07,999
Uh, that's "refuse," sir.
249
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:10,468
You refuse?
250
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:12,414
Oh, no.
251
00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:14,750
No, no. Uh... But,
Mr. Yamashiro,
252
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,919
we've already offered
her a million-five.
253
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:20,289
Then sweeten the offer. Mm.
254
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,225
Throw in a color TV.
255
00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:24,026
American color TV.
256
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,416
( laughs )
257
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,519
Mm. Funny joke.
258
00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:30,623
( chuckles )
259
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,125
You make a deal, or you
gonna laugh in the poorhouse.
260
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:38,397
( sighs )
261
00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:42,945
Well, Mr. What-Ya-Call-It,
of all people.
262
00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,313
Oh. Mrs. Newman,
what a surprise.
263
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:45,948
Uh, of course you
remember Mr. Yamashiro.
264
00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:47,450
Of course.
265
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:50,553
You're the one who's going
to buy the United States.
266
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,955
( both laugh )
267
00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:56,058
Um, suppose I start
by buying you drink, eh?
268
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:57,082
Uh, poison your name.
269
00:11:58,484 --> 00:11:59,628
No, thank you.
270
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,230
You know, I have a funny feeling
271
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,132
that our being on
the same cruise
272
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,534
is not a... A total accident.
273
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,303
Well, what makes you say that?
274
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,437
( chuckles )
275
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,873
Because my instincts
are very good,
276
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,563
and your acting is lousy.
277
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,300
Sayonara.
278
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:17,969
Sayonara.
279
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,150
Getting her to sell
isn't gonna be easy.
280
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,885
Uh, then use the brain. Hm?
281
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,922
See, Davis, this woman
not interested in big checks.
282
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:29,391
So maybe use a
little sex. Heh-heh.
283
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,993
Sex?
284
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:33,296
Why you think I bring you here?
285
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:37,921
I heard you have, uh, black
belt in hanky-panky. Huh?
286
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,706
This whole cruise is gross.
287
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,075
And when I think of the
money you spent on it.
288
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,111
Can I help it if I have money?
289
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,778
But, Daddy, you didn't earn it.
290
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:51,314
I didn't steal it.
291
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,415
I inherited it from
Uncle Zachary.
292
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:56,440
Who piled up a fortune
from the sweat of the masses.
293
00:12:58,010 --> 00:12:59,588
You could say that.
294
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,712
He invented a deodorant.
295
00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:05,428
Hi, Vanessa.
296
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,562
Hi, Gopher.
297
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:07,785
Bye, Gopher.
298
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:12,801
Why did you chase him off?
299
00:13:12,825 --> 00:13:15,138
You can do better
than a sawed-off clerk
300
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,271
in a sailor suit.
301
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:17,706
Well, at least he's a worker.
302
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:19,041
He earns his keep.
303
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:21,544
With his prospects,
he'll never earn yours.
304
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:22,878
( gasps )
305
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:26,816
You make me so mad...
I'm not going to yell.
306
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,218
I'm going to meditate.
307
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,874
( chanting ): Om.
308
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:32,576
Om.
309
00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:37,960
Mm. To our romantic cruise.
310
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,663
To our first drink together...
311
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,965
not from room service.
312
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:43,966
Lee!
313
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:44,967
Lee Graham!
314
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,201
Herman, look who it is.
315
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,904
It's Lee. I could die.
316
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:50,172
I could die too.
317
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:51,174
Oh.
318
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,242
What a surprise. It's me.
319
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:56,044
Cora and Herman from
the apartment building.
320
00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:58,246
Cora and Herman from
the apartment building.
321
00:13:58,270 --> 00:13:59,748
What a coincidence.
322
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:00,849
Terrific.
323
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:02,084
We'll see you around the ship.
324
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:04,754
I don't believe we
know your lady friend.
325
00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:06,110
She's no lady friend.
326
00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:09,625
I mean, she's a lady,
but she's no friend.
327
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:10,893
We just met.
328
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:15,064
Uh, this is Cora and Herman
from the apartment building,
329
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:16,498
and I'm Lee Graham.
330
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:19,534
Hm. And I'm Andrea Martin.
331
00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:21,403
So nice to meet you.
332
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:22,671
We saw Laraine on the pier.
333
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:23,739
Laraine?
334
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:25,329
Yes. Laraine. Your wife.
335
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,979
Oh, Andrea, you
should meet his wife.
336
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:33,215
Oh, salt of the
earth, that woman.
337
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:34,716
Larraine couldn't come.
338
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:36,651
This trip is strictly business.
339
00:14:36,675 --> 00:14:39,054
The ad campaign
for the cruise line.
340
00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:42,057
Well, Herman and I are not
gonna let you work that hard.
341
00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:43,726
This is our first day out.
342
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,060
Now, come on,
we'll tour the ship.
343
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:46,295
No, no, no, no. I couldn't.
344
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,464
I promised Laraine
I'd take care of you.
345
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:49,698
Have a nice time, honey.
346
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,200
Hope you meet someone.
347
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,423
Come, Herman.
348
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,221
( upbeat theme playing )
349
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,860
( soft music playing
on speakers )
350
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:13,722
Oh.
351
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,959
Oh. You won't
believe who I ran into
352
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:18,594
on the Lido Deck.
353
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:21,597
R2-D2 and C-3PO.
354
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:25,034
Close. Ken Davis and
Mr. Yamashiro. ( gasps )
355
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,569
Do you think they
followed you here?
356
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,869
Uh-huh.
357
00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:30,105
They must really
want you to sell.
358
00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:32,474
( scoffs ) No way.
359
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:34,610
Ruth, the man has offered you
360
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,078
a million and a half.
361
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,346
Kind of tempting.
362
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,481
Not to me.
363
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,015
Ruth, listen to me.
364
00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:41,917
Sell Yamashiro the business.
365
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:42,918
You don't need it.
366
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,053
No!
367
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:45,655
Frank built that
business from nothing.
368
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:47,723
He wouldn't want me to sell.
369
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:50,659
Look, Eve, the only way I
can keep Frank's memory alive
370
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,261
is to keep the business alive.
371
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:55,764
Ruth, he's been gone
for over a year now.
372
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,266
It's time to stop mourning
373
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,601
and to start living.
374
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,836
Come on.
375
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,820
Have dinner with Doc and me.
376
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,008
Okay.
377
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:10,034
As long as the specialty
tonight is not Japanese food.
378
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,088
I'm afraid you're in
the wrong cabin, sir.
379
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,190
You don't even know me. Hm.
380
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:23,693
But I'd like to.
381
00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:24,877
I missed you.
382
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,030
Oh, and I missed you.
383
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:30,199
Did you have to spend
the whole afternoon
384
00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:32,301
with Cora's welcome wagon?
385
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:36,472
But we haven't missed
the evening's activities.
386
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:42,111
Yeah. Like, uh...
dinner and dancing,
387
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,880
and a walk in the moonlight.
388
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:47,549
Andrea, I thought we'd spend
389
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:50,452
our first night out more
romantically. Mm. Hm.
390
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:52,243
So I ordered dinner in.
391
00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:55,457
What you mean is
you don't want Cora
392
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:56,959
to see us together again, right?
393
00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:58,293
Well, you saw that woman.
394
00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:00,162
She'd like nothing
better than to tell Laraine
395
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,430
that I'm having an affair.
396
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:03,465
Well, maybe it would
be better if she found out.
397
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:04,833
Then you'd have to
make up your mind
398
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,768
whether you're gonna
divorce your wife or not.
399
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:08,003
Well, I'm gonna divorce her,
400
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,172
but the news needs
to come from me.
401
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,874
Not from some nosy busybody.
402
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:12,938
Oh.
403
00:17:14,633 --> 00:17:17,234
Oh. Oh, look, look, uh,
let's just forget about that.
404
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:22,351
Look, tonight
it's just us. Okay?
405
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,385
( knocking on door )
406
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,120
CORA: Lee?
407
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:27,704
Dressed for dinner yet?
408
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,559
Honey, look. Look,
just bear with me, okay?
409
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:31,961
Look, I'll get rid of her, okay?
410
00:17:31,985 --> 00:17:33,428
Just... Just... Just for one...
411
00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:34,932
You're not gonna
put me in that thing!
412
00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,199
Uh, coming, Cora.
413
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,256
( whimsical theme playing )
414
00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:45,729
Cigarettes.
415
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,413
Oh, Cora, Herman. Ah.
416
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:53,415
You look so wonderful.
All dressed for dinner, huh?
417
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:54,749
Ooh. Well, you better get going.
418
00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:56,385
You don't wanna miss
the hors d'oeuvres.
419
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,854
Oh, have I got
great news for you.
420
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:01,490
I spoke to that attractive
cruise director, Julie.
421
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:04,426
Arranged for the three of us
to be seated at the same table.
422
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:05,527
( giggles )
423
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:06,929
Well, that's
wonderful news, Cora,
424
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:08,998
but, uh, I'm not
hungry tonight. Oh.
425
00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:10,132
And I'm gonna turn in early.
426
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:12,768
Oh, cigarettes.
427
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,236
I didn't know you smoked.
428
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,338
Oh. For years.
429
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:18,540
Uh. It's a filthy habit.
430
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:21,276
In fact, I'm gonna
give it up right now.
431
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,780
I'm gonna just flush
these right down the toilet.
432
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:27,304
( toilet flushes )
433
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,010
Good evening, sir.
434
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,190
I thought you said
you weren't hungry.
435
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:37,393
Well, I have to sample
the ship's cuisine.
436
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:38,727
It's, uh, part of my job.
437
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,128
Working on the
brochure, you know...
438
00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:41,930
Now, what do we have here:
439
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,434
uh, duck l'orange,
one liver Veneziana.
440
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,269
Two dinners?
441
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,270
( chuckles )
442
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,738
There must be some mistake.
443
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:52,374
Yes. I only ordered the liver.
444
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:55,744
Liver? Oh, Herman loves liver.
445
00:18:55,768 --> 00:19:00,315
Steward, I suggest you check
which cabin ordered that duck.
446
00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:02,084
Thank you, sir.
447
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:03,152
Thank you very much.
448
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:04,153
And, uh, you'd better be
449
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:05,621
hurrying to the dining room.
450
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,989
You don't want them to run
out of liver, do you, Herman?
451
00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:09,691
He's right, Herman.
452
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:11,293
Bon appétit.
453
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,629
Why don't we meet later?
You know, after dinner.
454
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,997
We could go to the show.
And then we could go dancing.
455
00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:17,099
Swell.
456
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:18,467
Come, Herman.
I'll see you there.
457
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,302
Come, dear. Come.
458
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,806
Later. ( laughs )
459
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,046
Matches.
460
00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:34,483
You forgot the matches.
461
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,307
( upbeat theme playing )
462
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,979
( slow jazz playing,
people chattering )
463
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:50,020
And so that's when I realized
I had to join the Personhood.
464
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,667
Uh... The... The what?
465
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:54,436
The Personhood.
466
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,504
It's a movement.
467
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,140
We believe that
nobody should lead a...
468
00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,507
And nobody should follow.
469
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:01,177
We are all equal persons.
470
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:04,301
Well, you're the most
beautiful person I've ever seen.
471
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,650
Only a beautiful
person would say that.
472
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,551
Oh, thank you.
473
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:12,154
Uh, this person would
like to personally request
474
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,578
your person to dance,
but there's a small problem.
475
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,026
What's the problem?
476
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,827
Which person leads?
477
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,451
Nobody.
478
00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:37,479
Good evening.
479
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:38,480
Good evening.
480
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:39,682
Oh, Captain Stubing. Uh... Uh,
481
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:41,717
could I have a word
with you for a minute?
482
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,985
Oh, yes, Mr. Summerhill.
483
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:45,688
Uh, that's, uh, my daughter
484
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:49,725
over there dancing with
a member of your crew.
485
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,793
Um, Gopher?
486
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:53,395
Mm-hm.
487
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,632
Call me snobbish, but I
don't want my daughter
488
00:20:56,656 --> 00:21:00,302
to throw herself
away on a... gofer.
489
00:21:00,326 --> 00:21:01,736
Oh.
490
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,240
Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Summerhill,
but, uh, I make it a point
491
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,998
never to interfere in the
private lives of my crew.
492
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:12,114
Would it make any
difference if I told you
493
00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:14,283
I was a close friend
of one of the directors
494
00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:15,347
of this cruise line?
495
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:18,587
None whatsoever.
496
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:21,323
I'm sorry. I... I
shouldn't have said that.
497
00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:24,659
Could I just ask
for your help as a...
498
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:26,784
A very concerned father.
499
00:21:28,654 --> 00:21:31,822
Well... that's different.
500
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:38,072
You know, this really
isn't my style at all.
501
00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:41,643
On a night like this, my person
wants to run barefoot through
502
00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:43,445
the fields and
gaze at the stars.
503
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:45,147
Oh, wow.
504
00:21:45,171 --> 00:21:46,615
Well, we can't
supply the fields,
505
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:49,351
but we could take off our
shoes and look at the stars.
506
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:50,985
Come on, follow me.
507
00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:52,153
No.
508
00:21:52,177 --> 00:21:54,022
No, nobody follows.
509
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,924
Share this direction
with my person.
510
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:59,061
Gopher. Oh, boy.
511
00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:00,762
Incredible timing. That's five.
512
00:22:00,786 --> 00:22:02,230
I'll see you on the deck.
513
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:03,532
( clears throat )
514
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:04,667
Yes, sir?
515
00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:06,835
Gopher, I hate to tell you this,
516
00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:09,437
but, uh, Vanessa's
father is concerned
517
00:22:09,461 --> 00:22:11,073
that you're leading
his daughter astray.
518
00:22:11,097 --> 00:22:12,408
Well, that's impossible, sir,
519
00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:14,576
because there are no leaders
and there are no followers.
520
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:15,944
I don't follow
you. Exactly, sir.
521
00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:17,646
You understand.
I don't understand.
522
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:19,247
Now, look, I've passed
the message on,
523
00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:20,316
the rest is up to you.
524
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:21,650
Do you follow me? I can't, sir.
525
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:22,954
There are no followers.
526
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:25,854
( sighs )
527
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:27,410
There are no followers?
528
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:32,193
Oh, poor Gopher.
529
00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:33,194
Poor us.
530
00:22:33,218 --> 00:22:36,799
I never saw 50 bucks go so fast.
531
00:22:36,823 --> 00:22:40,335
Look, we'll sweeten
the deal with 200 shares
532
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:41,403
of Yamashiro stock
533
00:22:41,427 --> 00:22:44,339
and another 50,000 in cash, huh?
534
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:45,873
I said no in a letter,
535
00:22:45,897 --> 00:22:48,844
and I said no to your attorney's
attorney when he called me.
536
00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:51,034
Now, would you please
buzz off, Mr. Davis?
537
00:22:51,837 --> 00:22:53,482
Please, call me Ken.
538
00:22:53,506 --> 00:22:56,084
Okay, Ken. Buzz off.
539
00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:57,853
Look, why are you
shooting me down?
540
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,655
You know absolutely
nothing about me.
541
00:22:59,679 --> 00:23:02,045
Oh, come on, we have
nothing in common.
542
00:23:02,981 --> 00:23:05,360
We do so. Um...
543
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,729
we're, I mean, here at
the same table together.
544
00:23:07,753 --> 00:23:09,631
( sarcastically ):
Whoopee. Let's get married.
545
00:23:09,655 --> 00:23:11,600
( sighs )
546
00:23:11,624 --> 00:23:13,935
Now, look, we do have
something in common.
547
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:16,505
I mean, that is, if... If you
really run your husband's
548
00:23:16,529 --> 00:23:18,973
electronics firm, and
aren't just a... A figurehead.
549
00:23:18,997 --> 00:23:20,108
Run it, bud.
550
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:22,110
I run it at a profit.
551
00:23:22,134 --> 00:23:24,446
Well, okay. All right.
552
00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:25,914
Well, then maybe
you'd be interested
553
00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:28,458
in something that I've invented.
554
00:23:30,008 --> 00:23:31,088
What is this something?
555
00:23:32,177 --> 00:23:34,623
Well, we... have to
go down to my cabin,
556
00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:35,847
and I'll show it to you.
557
00:23:37,850 --> 00:23:39,382
Now, honest.
558
00:23:40,953 --> 00:23:44,299
Okay. But if this
invention of yours
559
00:23:44,323 --> 00:23:45,601
is as old as your line,
560
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:47,603
you are in big trouble.
561
00:23:47,627 --> 00:23:48,904
Okay. Come on. Let's go.
562
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:50,828
( upbeat theme playing )
563
00:23:59,238 --> 00:24:00,816
You know, your
captain is a fascist.
564
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:01,817
He certainly is.
565
00:24:01,841 --> 00:24:03,251
Ordering you not to see me.
566
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,541
( sighs )
567
00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:08,023
Boy, a swell night
for romance, huh?
568
00:24:08,047 --> 00:24:09,212
Moonlight.
569
00:24:10,415 --> 00:24:12,616
Vanessa... I'm crazy about you.
570
00:24:13,853 --> 00:24:15,430
I feel the vibes, Gopher.
571
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:18,200
It's just that... I can
only love a person.
572
00:24:18,224 --> 00:24:21,436
And that captain is turning
you into a nonperson with his:
573
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,372
"Gopher, do this.
Gopher, do that."
574
00:24:23,396 --> 00:24:25,507
Oh, well, he's not
like that all the time.
575
00:24:25,531 --> 00:24:27,976
MAN: Gopher! Oh.
576
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,278
Not all the time, huh?
577
00:24:29,302 --> 00:24:30,679
Gopher!
578
00:24:30,703 --> 00:24:33,147
Doc. Will you knock it
off, please? ( laughs )
579
00:24:33,171 --> 00:24:34,716
Say, Julie's not
feeling very well,
580
00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:35,717
and the captain wants you
581
00:24:35,741 --> 00:24:37,986
to take over for her at bingo.
582
00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:39,387
You're not gonna do it, are you?
583
00:24:39,411 --> 00:24:42,791
Well, yeah, uh... Julie
is my friend and I...
584
00:24:42,815 --> 00:24:43,926
Well, it's my job.
585
00:24:43,950 --> 00:24:45,861
And you're a nonperson.
586
00:24:45,885 --> 00:24:47,562
Wait a minute. Vanessa, wait...
587
00:24:47,586 --> 00:24:50,106
Say, if you're a nonperson,
does that mean it's a nonbet?
588
00:24:51,523 --> 00:24:53,090
Nonsense.
589
00:24:54,627 --> 00:24:56,371
KEN: It's really quite simple.
590
00:24:56,395 --> 00:24:58,729
All I do is speak, and
it's down on paper.
591
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,547
RUTH: It's incredible.
I can't believe it.
592
00:25:05,571 --> 00:25:07,316
You invented this?
593
00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:08,316
Mm-hm. Of course,
594
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,851
it still has a few bugs in it.
595
00:25:09,875 --> 00:25:13,054
Like what? Oh. Well, like that.
596
00:25:13,078 --> 00:25:15,518
It takes things down
that it's not supposed to.
597
00:25:17,783 --> 00:25:21,930
You know, this thing could
make you a millionaire.
598
00:25:21,954 --> 00:25:23,031
Not really.
599
00:25:23,055 --> 00:25:24,365
It still needs some development,
600
00:25:24,389 --> 00:25:26,034
and I can't afford
the financing.
601
00:25:26,058 --> 00:25:28,603
Well, what about Yamashiro?
602
00:25:28,627 --> 00:25:30,987
Yamashiro's only
interested in sure things.
603
00:25:34,166 --> 00:25:35,410
And that isn't that sure.
604
00:25:35,434 --> 00:25:36,611
( chuckles )
605
00:25:36,635 --> 00:25:38,446
So, you see, it wasn't a ploy
606
00:25:38,470 --> 00:25:40,015
to lure you down to my cabin.
607
00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:43,373
Well it beats, "You wanna
see my etchings?" ( chuckles )
608
00:25:45,945 --> 00:25:48,385
You know, you're
really quite beautiful.
609
00:25:49,147 --> 00:25:50,892
You've got a beautiful smile,
610
00:25:50,916 --> 00:25:52,326
beautiful sense of humor,
611
00:25:52,350 --> 00:25:54,863
and a beautiful head
on your shoulders.
612
00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:56,965
How come you're
so rotten at business?
613
00:25:56,989 --> 00:25:58,909
What do you mean? ( scoffs )
614
00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:01,636
Well, let me put it this way.
615
00:26:01,660 --> 00:26:03,671
We'll sweeten the
sweetener, okay?
616
00:26:03,695 --> 00:26:05,974
Five hundred shares
of Yamashiro stock
617
00:26:05,998 --> 00:26:07,309
and the rest in cash.
618
00:26:07,333 --> 00:26:09,477
( scoffs )
619
00:26:09,501 --> 00:26:11,780
Oh, boy, I should've
known better. What?
620
00:26:11,804 --> 00:26:14,348
You and Yamashiro
never give up, do you?
621
00:26:14,372 --> 00:26:15,617
Well, wait, wait...
622
00:26:15,641 --> 00:26:17,152
Well, I'm not buying it, buster.
623
00:26:17,176 --> 00:26:19,536
And I'm not
selling either. Oh...
624
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:24,760
And you, mind your own business.
625
00:26:24,784 --> 00:26:26,817
( whimsical theme playing )
626
00:26:39,332 --> 00:26:40,997
( upbeat theme playing )
627
00:26:56,081 --> 00:26:57,291
( sighs )
628
00:26:57,315 --> 00:26:59,227
Oh, good morning, Mr. Yamashiro.
629
00:26:59,251 --> 00:27:00,729
Ah, good morning.
630
00:27:00,753 --> 00:27:03,798
Ah. Uh, Davis, uh, no
bush around the beat, eh?
631
00:27:03,822 --> 00:27:07,301
Uh, give me report.
632
00:27:07,325 --> 00:27:09,103
Well, the good news is
633
00:27:09,127 --> 00:27:10,905
they're having
tempura for lunch.
634
00:27:10,929 --> 00:27:12,049
( chuckles )
635
00:27:13,031 --> 00:27:15,176
The bad news is Mrs. Newman.
636
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,511
I tried everything I could.
637
00:27:16,535 --> 00:27:18,179
It's... It's no sale.
638
00:27:18,203 --> 00:27:19,948
No sale.
639
00:27:19,972 --> 00:27:20,982
No sale?
640
00:27:21,006 --> 00:27:23,506
( speaks angrily in Japanese )
641
00:27:27,412 --> 00:27:28,890
Boy, did he seem mad.
642
00:27:28,914 --> 00:27:29,914
What did he say?
643
00:27:33,351 --> 00:27:34,929
Well, I'm not sure.
644
00:27:34,953 --> 00:27:37,954
But I think I just lost
my Christmas bonus.
645
00:27:43,496 --> 00:27:45,061
Hey, good morning.
646
00:27:46,064 --> 00:27:47,842
Did you sleep all right?
647
00:27:47,866 --> 00:27:49,977
The way you snore?
648
00:27:50,001 --> 00:27:51,880
Oh-ho. I'm sorry.
649
00:27:51,904 --> 00:27:55,350
Hey, I'm sorry this trip
has been miserable for you.
650
00:27:55,374 --> 00:27:58,420
I'll tell you what. Let's
start all over again.
651
00:27:58,444 --> 00:28:00,955
Get dressed, we'll
have breakfast.
652
00:28:00,979 --> 00:28:03,925
In fact, I'm so hungry
I'll have five breakfasts.
653
00:28:03,949 --> 00:28:05,393
Then we'll do
whatever you wanna do.
654
00:28:05,417 --> 00:28:08,396
You mean it? ( gasps )
655
00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:10,465
Oh, what about Cora and Herman?
656
00:28:10,489 --> 00:28:12,134
Who cares about Cora and Herman?
657
00:28:12,158 --> 00:28:14,536
We can't go on like this.
658
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:17,538
Oh, Lee. Thank you.
659
00:28:17,562 --> 00:28:18,562
Mm.
660
00:28:19,965 --> 00:28:22,032
And I've made a decision.
661
00:28:23,502 --> 00:28:25,783
I'm divorcing Laraine.
662
00:28:27,039 --> 00:28:29,373
Oh, Lee.
663
00:28:30,710 --> 00:28:32,120
( chanting ): Om.
664
00:28:32,144 --> 00:28:33,989
Om.
665
00:28:34,013 --> 00:28:34,990
( knock on door )
666
00:28:35,014 --> 00:28:36,913
( chants ): Come in.
667
00:28:37,582 --> 00:28:38,659
Excuse me.
668
00:28:38,683 --> 00:28:39,761
I wasn't trying to overhear
669
00:28:39,785 --> 00:28:41,329
your mantra or
anything, but could...
670
00:28:41,353 --> 00:28:43,130
Could this nonperson
talk to your person?
671
00:28:43,154 --> 00:28:44,266
( door closes )
672
00:28:44,290 --> 00:28:45,800
Gopher, I'm sorry
I called you that.
673
00:28:45,824 --> 00:28:47,002
No, no.
674
00:28:47,026 --> 00:28:50,238
I am sorry that I ran
out on you last night.
675
00:28:50,262 --> 00:28:52,941
You couldn't help it. I
could help it, Vanessa.
676
00:28:52,965 --> 00:28:55,043
I've been doing
a lot of thinking.
677
00:28:55,067 --> 00:28:56,577
And what you said
about the personhood,
678
00:28:56,601 --> 00:28:58,446
and then no leaders
and no followers.
679
00:28:58,470 --> 00:29:00,348
And the feudal system
and running barefoot.
680
00:29:00,372 --> 00:29:01,516
It makes a lot of sense.
681
00:29:01,540 --> 00:29:04,052
It does? Oh, Gopher, I love you.
682
00:29:04,076 --> 00:29:05,920
And it's not Gopher.
683
00:29:05,944 --> 00:29:09,357
It is Assistant
Purser Burl Smith.
684
00:29:09,381 --> 00:29:11,626
That's it. Assert
your pride and dignity.
685
00:29:11,650 --> 00:29:12,927
Right.
686
00:29:12,951 --> 00:29:14,929
And don't let Captain
Stubing boss you around.
687
00:29:14,953 --> 00:29:16,631
Right.
688
00:29:16,655 --> 00:29:19,167
Yeah, but he's the captain.
689
00:29:19,191 --> 00:29:21,736
He's just another
person, isn't he?
690
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,938
Yeah.
691
00:29:23,962 --> 00:29:26,273
Yeah, but who...?
Then who runs the ship?
692
00:29:26,297 --> 00:29:27,308
You'll all run it.
693
00:29:27,332 --> 00:29:28,632
One person, one vote.
694
00:29:29,801 --> 00:29:32,180
Oh, wow.
695
00:29:32,204 --> 00:29:33,515
It's personhood.
696
00:29:33,539 --> 00:29:35,772
I never even
thought of it that way.
697
00:29:36,908 --> 00:29:39,020
Oh, Vanessa. J...
698
00:29:39,044 --> 00:29:40,922
I feel like a... Like a new man.
699
00:29:40,946 --> 00:29:41,990
A new person.
700
00:29:42,014 --> 00:29:43,613
Oh, wow.
701
00:29:45,717 --> 00:29:46,761
( soft piano music playing )
702
00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:48,063
I really wasn't
sure you'd see me
703
00:29:48,087 --> 00:29:49,231
after last night.
704
00:29:49,255 --> 00:29:52,667
Well, I... I wanted
to bury the hatchet.
705
00:29:52,691 --> 00:29:54,235
Thank you. Sure.
706
00:29:54,259 --> 00:29:55,237
In my head.
707
00:29:55,261 --> 00:29:56,404
( laughs )
708
00:29:56,428 --> 00:29:58,339
Last night I did.
709
00:29:58,363 --> 00:30:00,883
But you were
only doing your job.
710
00:30:02,167 --> 00:30:03,167
I like you, Ken.
711
00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:08,004
But mostly when you're
not talking business.
712
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,641
I like you too.
713
00:30:11,644 --> 00:30:12,843
And that's not business.
714
00:30:14,413 --> 00:30:16,891
Well, I just can't figure it.
715
00:30:16,915 --> 00:30:19,827
Is running that company
so important to you,
716
00:30:19,851 --> 00:30:21,852
or are you just...
You just afraid?
717
00:30:22,988 --> 00:30:24,599
Oh. Afraid of what?
718
00:30:24,623 --> 00:30:26,601
Afraid of letting go.
719
00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:27,735
Afraid of change.
720
00:30:27,759 --> 00:30:29,237
Ho-ho.
721
00:30:29,261 --> 00:30:31,473
Look who's talking
about being afraid.
722
00:30:31,497 --> 00:30:34,742
Mr. Yamashiro treats
you like a flunky,
723
00:30:34,766 --> 00:30:36,806
and you're afraid
of leaving him.
724
00:30:37,202 --> 00:30:38,213
I can't.
725
00:30:38,237 --> 00:30:39,881
You don't need him, Ken.
726
00:30:39,905 --> 00:30:41,416
You've got a wonderful invention
727
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,518
that you're gonna
make a bundle from.
728
00:30:43,542 --> 00:30:45,386
Ruth, without
that steady salary,
729
00:30:45,410 --> 00:30:46,810
I couldn't afford to market it.
730
00:30:47,946 --> 00:30:51,025
And, uh... I may lose that, heh,
731
00:30:51,049 --> 00:30:53,650
if you don't sell your
business to Yamashiro.
732
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:56,163
( puts drink on table )
733
00:30:56,187 --> 00:30:58,066
He'd actually fire you?
734
00:30:58,090 --> 00:30:59,767
You don't know him like I do.
735
00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:02,570
Oh. I know you.
736
00:31:02,594 --> 00:31:04,772
And I know you're
conning me again.
737
00:31:04,796 --> 00:31:09,244
Ruth, I... You don't
expect me to buy that?
738
00:31:09,268 --> 00:31:11,145
Getting fired?
739
00:31:11,169 --> 00:31:12,902
How desperate can you be?
740
00:31:14,607 --> 00:31:15,817
Pretty desperate.
741
00:31:15,841 --> 00:31:18,085
( sighs ) ( sighs )
742
00:31:18,109 --> 00:31:21,611
Oh, I... I'm losing
my job and losing you.
743
00:31:22,781 --> 00:31:24,259
Put that on my tab.
744
00:31:24,283 --> 00:31:25,563
Certainly.
745
00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:29,319
( upbeat theme playing )
746
00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:34,268
Sent for me, sir?
747
00:31:34,292 --> 00:31:36,438
Ah, yes. Come in, Gopher.
748
00:31:36,462 --> 00:31:37,606
Ah, sir? Hm?
749
00:31:37,630 --> 00:31:38,740
It's not Gopher.
750
00:31:38,764 --> 00:31:40,742
It's Assistant
Purser Burl Smith.
751
00:31:40,766 --> 00:31:42,143
Of course.
752
00:31:42,167 --> 00:31:44,167
I mean, I don't call
you Stubie-buby.
753
00:31:45,537 --> 00:31:46,781
I get your drift, Gopher.
754
00:31:46,805 --> 00:31:49,350
Uh... Uh, Smith.
755
00:31:49,374 --> 00:31:51,552
I just wanted to thank you
756
00:31:51,576 --> 00:31:54,189
for filling in for Miss
McCoy last night.
757
00:31:54,213 --> 00:31:56,191
No problem, sir.
Just part of the job.
758
00:31:56,215 --> 00:31:57,192
Aye.
759
00:31:57,216 --> 00:31:59,016
Dismissed. ( clears throat )
760
00:31:59,785 --> 00:32:01,329
Oh, uh, would you
mind dropping off
761
00:32:01,353 --> 00:32:03,286
my dress whites at the cleaners?
762
00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,501
These? Yes.
763
00:32:06,525 --> 00:32:07,805
Yes, sir, I'd mind.
764
00:32:09,061 --> 00:32:10,138
What?
765
00:32:10,162 --> 00:32:12,002
It would demean my personhood.
766
00:32:12,364 --> 00:32:13,474
I don't follow you.
767
00:32:13,498 --> 00:32:15,377
Exactly, sir. There
is no following.
768
00:32:15,401 --> 00:32:17,512
I don't know what
you're talking about.
769
00:32:17,536 --> 00:32:20,003
Now, I order you to take my
dress whites to the cleaners.
770
00:32:21,006 --> 00:32:22,016
No, sir.
771
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,518
"No, sir?"
772
00:32:23,542 --> 00:32:25,019
Yes, sir. No, sir.
773
00:32:25,043 --> 00:32:27,655
Are you disobeying an order?
774
00:32:27,679 --> 00:32:29,156
Unless we vote on it, sir.
775
00:32:29,180 --> 00:32:31,500
You know, one person, one vote.
776
00:32:32,184 --> 00:32:34,296
Well, this is my vote.
777
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:35,663
Gopher, you're fired.
778
00:32:35,687 --> 00:32:36,998
Uh, Mr. Smith.
779
00:32:37,022 --> 00:32:38,432
He's fired too.
780
00:32:38,456 --> 00:32:39,934
Now, get out of
here, the both of you.
781
00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:43,104
We're shoving off
now. Sh... ( opens door )
782
00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:45,088
( sighs ) ( door closes )
783
00:32:45,997 --> 00:32:47,431
The both of you?
784
00:32:49,067 --> 00:32:51,001
( upbeat theme playing )
785
00:32:59,544 --> 00:33:01,689
Oh, Lee, isn't this great?
786
00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:03,691
See, we can be like real people.
787
00:33:03,715 --> 00:33:06,094
Oh, sure. Hm-hm.
788
00:33:06,118 --> 00:33:07,128
Let's have a drink. Okay.
789
00:33:07,152 --> 00:33:09,064
Lee. Andrea.
790
00:33:09,088 --> 00:33:11,933
Well, you two are
getting to be quite an item.
791
00:33:11,957 --> 00:33:13,701
Oh, Miss Martin
was just giving me
792
00:33:13,725 --> 00:33:15,703
her point of view
on my ad campaign.
793
00:33:15,727 --> 00:33:18,606
Heh, yes, but I'm not
sure he's getting my point.
794
00:33:18,630 --> 00:33:20,575
LEE: Well, thanks
for everything.
795
00:33:20,599 --> 00:33:22,476
Oh, I wish I could stay
and chat more, but I have
796
00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:24,746
an appointment on the
Bridge with the captain.
797
00:33:24,770 --> 00:33:25,836
I'll see you later.
798
00:33:26,839 --> 00:33:28,438
He never stops.
799
00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:31,653
He's burying
himself in his work.
800
00:33:31,677 --> 00:33:35,190
Heh. He's burying
himself all right.
801
00:33:35,214 --> 00:33:37,458
( whimsical theme playing )
802
00:33:37,482 --> 00:33:38,915
Come, Herman.
803
00:33:40,853 --> 00:33:42,763
So then I said to this munchkin,
804
00:33:42,787 --> 00:33:44,966
can you do that standing up?
805
00:33:44,990 --> 00:33:46,067
( both laugh )
806
00:33:46,091 --> 00:33:47,701
Hi, Isaac. Hi, Isaac.
807
00:33:47,725 --> 00:33:48,702
Hey, Doc. Hi.
808
00:33:48,726 --> 00:33:49,770
How you feeling, Julie?
809
00:33:49,794 --> 00:33:50,771
Oh, much better,
810
00:33:50,795 --> 00:33:52,306
thanks to Doc's prescription.
811
00:33:52,330 --> 00:33:53,507
Oh, nothing to it.
812
00:33:53,531 --> 00:33:54,742
Oh, what did he
tell you to take?
813
00:33:54,766 --> 00:33:55,743
Yesterday off.
814
00:33:55,767 --> 00:33:57,645
Vanessa, I did it.
815
00:33:57,669 --> 00:33:59,214
I stood up to the captain.
816
00:33:59,238 --> 00:34:00,315
Burl.
817
00:34:00,339 --> 00:34:02,784
No more, "Gopher do
this, Gopher do that."
818
00:34:02,808 --> 00:34:04,585
Fabulous. I love you. Oh.
819
00:34:04,609 --> 00:34:06,320
I love you too. We win the bet.
820
00:34:06,344 --> 00:34:07,955
GOPHER: Oh, who
cares about that.
821
00:34:07,979 --> 00:34:11,559
I told the captain to
stop calling me Gopher.
822
00:34:11,583 --> 00:34:13,161
And he ordered me
to take his dress whites
823
00:34:13,185 --> 00:34:14,161
to the cleaners.
824
00:34:14,185 --> 00:34:16,030
And I said, "No.
Not without a vote."
825
00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,499
And he said,
"Gopher, you're fired."
826
00:34:17,523 --> 00:34:20,123
And I said, "It is
Mr. Smith." And...
827
00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:26,276
He said, "Gopher, you're fired."
828
00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:28,465
That's what he said.
829
00:34:30,568 --> 00:34:34,070
Gopher... you directly
disobeyed an order?
830
00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:38,552
Well, I guess I did, but...
831
00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:39,987
Well, he's just a person,
832
00:34:40,011 --> 00:34:42,531
and I'm just a person.
833
00:34:43,981 --> 00:34:45,727
And his person canned my person.
834
00:34:45,751 --> 00:34:48,363
Here, man. I think
you're gonna need this.
835
00:34:48,387 --> 00:34:50,631
No, I... No, I can't
drink on the job.
836
00:34:50,655 --> 00:34:53,201
You can while
you're looking for one.
837
00:34:53,225 --> 00:34:55,705
GOPHER: I'm fired.
838
00:34:57,195 --> 00:34:59,240
Jeez. I'm really gonna
839
00:34:59,264 --> 00:35:01,743
miss all this. You guys and...
840
00:35:01,767 --> 00:35:03,333
And the ship.
841
00:35:05,971 --> 00:35:08,950
I'm... I'm gonna
t-turn in my uniform.
842
00:35:08,974 --> 00:35:11,474
( melancholy theme playing )
843
00:35:13,644 --> 00:35:16,279
I didn't mean for
him to go that far.
844
00:35:18,116 --> 00:35:20,294
I cost him his job.
845
00:35:20,318 --> 00:35:22,118
What a bummer.
846
00:35:23,855 --> 00:35:26,333
Well, uh, don't take it so hard.
847
00:35:26,357 --> 00:35:28,369
I mean, all we have to do is get
848
00:35:28,393 --> 00:35:30,838
Captain Stubing
to change his mind.
849
00:35:30,862 --> 00:35:33,182
Like she said, what a bummer.
850
00:35:42,207 --> 00:35:44,541
( upbeat theme playing )
851
00:35:53,785 --> 00:35:55,996
Mind if I join you?
852
00:35:56,020 --> 00:35:57,098
Mm. Please do.
853
00:35:57,122 --> 00:35:59,467
Right here. Where's Ken?
854
00:35:59,491 --> 00:36:01,836
I don't know, and I
couldn't care less.
855
00:36:01,860 --> 00:36:03,204
EVE: Oh, and I
thought you two were
856
00:36:03,228 --> 00:36:04,838
just starting to hit it off.
857
00:36:04,862 --> 00:36:07,497
Oh, yeah, yeah. He
hit on me, and it's off.
858
00:36:09,134 --> 00:36:10,411
Heh. Mrs. Newman?
859
00:36:10,435 --> 00:36:11,646
Mrs. Newman.
860
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:12,646
Boy, you harder to find
861
00:36:12,670 --> 00:36:14,081
than a haystack in a needle.
862
00:36:14,105 --> 00:36:15,249
( laughs )
863
00:36:15,273 --> 00:36:16,884
I-I wanna make you a new offer.
864
00:36:16,908 --> 00:36:18,319
Well, you're wasting your time.
865
00:36:18,343 --> 00:36:20,221
I already turned down
your sales manager.
866
00:36:20,245 --> 00:36:21,889
Oh, uh, but that why, uh,
867
00:36:21,913 --> 00:36:24,058
Yamashiro no longer
have sales manager.
868
00:36:24,082 --> 00:36:26,493
I, uh, give Davis the old, uh,
869
00:36:26,517 --> 00:36:27,562
ho-heave. Heh.
870
00:36:27,586 --> 00:36:28,896
You fired Ken?
871
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:30,264
Yeah.
872
00:36:30,288 --> 00:36:32,299
Well, then he was
telling the truth.
873
00:36:32,323 --> 00:36:34,201
Excuse me.
874
00:36:34,225 --> 00:36:36,236
Yeah. Oh, uh... Uh, Miss Newman.
875
00:36:36,260 --> 00:36:38,305
Miss Newman, I... I
wanna buy the factory
876
00:36:38,329 --> 00:36:40,741
even if it cost me
a arm and a leg.
877
00:36:40,765 --> 00:36:43,232
Ah, well you throw in
your head, and we'll talk.
878
00:36:45,304 --> 00:36:46,535
Miss New...
879
00:36:47,639 --> 00:36:50,585
Andrea, don't say it.
880
00:36:50,609 --> 00:36:52,253
I have nothing to say to you.
881
00:36:52,277 --> 00:36:54,222
Good. Ever again.
882
00:36:54,246 --> 00:36:56,957
"No more lies, no more hiding."
883
00:36:56,981 --> 00:36:58,091
I'm... I'm sorry.
884
00:36:58,115 --> 00:36:59,593
I... Look, I lost my nerve.
885
00:36:59,617 --> 00:37:01,029
I need more time.
886
00:37:01,053 --> 00:37:02,563
Huh. More time?
887
00:37:02,587 --> 00:37:04,097
How long do I have to wait?
888
00:37:04,121 --> 00:37:05,833
We come onboard
for a little freedom,
889
00:37:05,857 --> 00:37:07,835
and I end up trapped
in a floating motel room
890
00:37:07,859 --> 00:37:09,970
just because you're afraid
of some gossipy neighbor.
891
00:37:09,994 --> 00:37:12,206
Cora Bass just isn't a gossip.
892
00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:14,342
She's Hedda Hopper
in support hose.
893
00:37:14,366 --> 00:37:17,733
Now, I've been thinking,
it just isn't fair to Laraine.
894
00:37:19,471 --> 00:37:20,548
Well.
895
00:37:20,572 --> 00:37:23,984
What about being fair
to me for a change?
896
00:37:24,008 --> 00:37:26,287
Look... Look...
soon as we get back,
897
00:37:26,311 --> 00:37:27,721
I'll ask for a divorce.
898
00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:29,011
I promise.
899
00:37:32,384 --> 00:37:35,830
I am sick of your promises.
900
00:37:35,854 --> 00:37:38,165
I am sick of this ship.
901
00:37:38,189 --> 00:37:41,001
And I am definitely sick of you!
902
00:37:41,025 --> 00:37:42,270
Andrea.
903
00:37:42,294 --> 00:37:43,838
Andrea!
904
00:37:43,862 --> 00:37:45,895
( melancholy theme playing )
905
00:37:50,768 --> 00:37:52,001
( sighs )
906
00:37:53,071 --> 00:37:54,282
I'm sorry, Ken.
907
00:37:54,306 --> 00:37:55,750
I should've believed you
908
00:37:55,774 --> 00:37:57,718
when you said your
job was on the line.
909
00:37:57,742 --> 00:37:59,386
It's not your fault, Ruth.
910
00:37:59,410 --> 00:38:00,755
If he hadn't fired me for this,
911
00:38:00,779 --> 00:38:02,223
he would've found
some other reason.
912
00:38:02,247 --> 00:38:04,191
Well, you'll find another job.
913
00:38:04,215 --> 00:38:05,982
Anyway, you've still got this.
914
00:38:07,819 --> 00:38:09,797
"Yamashiro want business.
915
00:38:09,821 --> 00:38:11,298
You tell widow
lady you in love."
916
00:38:11,322 --> 00:38:12,967
Ruth, don't read any
more of that, please...
917
00:38:12,991 --> 00:38:14,335
"You happen to
be right." Please.
918
00:38:14,359 --> 00:38:16,337
"I do love Ruth, but I'm not
919
00:38:16,361 --> 00:38:17,805
going to use that as a weapon."
920
00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:18,806
( sighs )
921
00:38:18,830 --> 00:38:20,341
Is this true?
922
00:38:20,365 --> 00:38:22,977
Look, the invention is
not perfect yet, and...
923
00:38:23,001 --> 00:38:25,980
( tender theme playing )
924
00:38:26,004 --> 00:38:27,148
( sighs )
925
00:38:27,172 --> 00:38:28,482
Well, unless it
spelled your name
926
00:38:28,506 --> 00:38:31,840
wrong or something,
I... Oh, Ken.
927
00:38:36,915 --> 00:38:39,093
Ruth, I do love you. Very much.
928
00:38:39,117 --> 00:38:41,929
Well, why didn't you
say something last night?
929
00:38:41,953 --> 00:38:43,964
Listen, you wouldn't
believe me about being fired.
930
00:38:43,988 --> 00:38:46,434
How would you believe
me about saying I love you?
931
00:38:46,458 --> 00:38:48,336
I guess you're right.
932
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,538
Would you believe
that I believed that you...
933
00:38:50,562 --> 00:38:53,682
( laughs ): Forget
it. ( laughs )
934
00:38:57,369 --> 00:38:59,647
I've decided to sell
part of the company.
935
00:38:59,671 --> 00:39:01,616
Oh, not to Yamashiro.
936
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:03,618
That's crazy... No.
Not to Yamashiro.
937
00:39:03,642 --> 00:39:05,019
I want to sell it to you.
938
00:39:05,043 --> 00:39:06,320
To me? Yeah.
939
00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:08,189
Oh, honey, I can't afford that.
940
00:39:08,213 --> 00:39:09,357
Well you can pay for it with
941
00:39:09,381 --> 00:39:11,426
half interest in your invention.
942
00:39:11,450 --> 00:39:13,294
But it's not proven.
943
00:39:13,318 --> 00:39:14,850
It is to me.
944
00:39:18,790 --> 00:39:20,070
( typing )
945
00:39:25,931 --> 00:39:27,641
Oh, boy, be careful.
946
00:39:27,665 --> 00:39:29,776
Anything you say around
here can be held against you.
947
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,134
( both laughing )
948
00:39:34,572 --> 00:39:36,839
( sedate theme playing )
949
00:39:47,018 --> 00:39:48,018
Hi.
950
00:39:48,886 --> 00:39:50,297
Go away.
951
00:39:50,321 --> 00:39:51,899
Andrea, I can't.
952
00:39:51,923 --> 00:39:55,024
I want you. I said, go away.
953
00:39:56,794 --> 00:39:58,305
I've been a coward, I know...
954
00:39:58,329 --> 00:39:59,609
It is not cowardice.
955
00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:03,377
Lee, deep down inside
956
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:06,080
you just don't want
to leave Laraine.
957
00:40:06,104 --> 00:40:07,781
( sighs )
958
00:40:07,805 --> 00:40:10,440
Andrea, I... You know I'm right.
959
00:40:12,076 --> 00:40:15,523
You, uh, may want me...
960
00:40:15,547 --> 00:40:17,925
but you need Laraine.
961
00:40:17,949 --> 00:40:21,629
I mean, you two have been
married for a very long time,
962
00:40:21,653 --> 00:40:23,764
and sometimes when
people have been married
963
00:40:23,788 --> 00:40:25,433
for such a long time,
they forget to say
964
00:40:25,457 --> 00:40:26,434
the "I love you's,"
965
00:40:26,458 --> 00:40:29,437
or "You look beautiful",
or "I miss you."
966
00:40:29,461 --> 00:40:31,572
I don't know, maybe
it's because you said 'em
967
00:40:31,596 --> 00:40:34,275
so often, they just don't
mean anything anymore.
968
00:40:34,299 --> 00:40:36,344
So your life gets bland...
969
00:40:36,368 --> 00:40:38,434
and your marriage too.
970
00:40:39,971 --> 00:40:41,282
And so you think you wanna add
971
00:40:41,306 --> 00:40:43,184
a little spice to your life.
972
00:40:43,208 --> 00:40:45,586
Andrea... Lee.
973
00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:48,956
I am only the
spice in your life.
974
00:40:48,980 --> 00:40:52,615
Tsk. You probably
have a wonderful wife.
975
00:40:53,952 --> 00:40:56,230
So why don't you just go back
976
00:40:56,254 --> 00:40:59,789
and let her show you
how wonderful she can be.
977
00:41:04,228 --> 00:41:05,328
Thank you.
978
00:41:06,831 --> 00:41:08,308
Yeah.
979
00:41:08,332 --> 00:41:10,244
You know...
980
00:41:10,268 --> 00:41:13,147
when I thought
about this cruise,
981
00:41:13,171 --> 00:41:14,881
and I dreamed about
982
00:41:14,905 --> 00:41:18,319
the night like this
with the ocean,
983
00:41:18,343 --> 00:41:20,621
the breeze and the stars...
984
00:41:20,645 --> 00:41:24,047
heh... and us kissing...
985
00:41:26,184 --> 00:41:29,018
I never thought it
would be a goodbye kiss.
986
00:41:36,928 --> 00:41:40,663
Working on your
campaign, Mr. Graham?
987
00:41:42,767 --> 00:41:44,199
Don't look, Herman.
988
00:41:53,545 --> 00:41:55,978
( sedate theme playing )
989
00:41:58,984 --> 00:42:00,461
( knocking on door )
990
00:42:00,485 --> 00:42:02,151
Come in.
991
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:10,737
Tsk.
992
00:42:10,761 --> 00:42:12,606
What is this, a lynch mob?
993
00:42:12,630 --> 00:42:14,876
Uh, call it a delegation, sir.
994
00:42:14,900 --> 00:42:17,544
Captain, we'd like you to
reconsider about Gopher.
995
00:42:17,568 --> 00:42:18,879
I'm to blame for everything.
996
00:42:18,903 --> 00:42:20,615
GOPHER: Uh, sir.
997
00:42:20,639 --> 00:42:24,051
I would like to apologize
for defying an order.
998
00:42:24,075 --> 00:42:25,419
I don't know what got into me.
999
00:42:25,443 --> 00:42:27,822
I know. My silly ideas.
1000
00:42:27,846 --> 00:42:29,990
Vanessa...
1001
00:42:30,014 --> 00:42:32,426
there's nothing
wrong in having ideas.
1002
00:42:32,450 --> 00:42:35,396
But sometimes we're too
hasty in acting them out.
1003
00:42:35,420 --> 00:42:38,732
You see, Gopher,
it's just as hard
1004
00:42:38,756 --> 00:42:40,801
to give an order
as it is to take one.
1005
00:42:40,825 --> 00:42:43,937
But I have a great
responsibility for this ship...
1006
00:42:43,961 --> 00:42:45,894
and for everyone aboard it.
1007
00:42:47,064 --> 00:42:48,843
Vanessa, it's like
being a father.
1008
00:42:48,867 --> 00:42:51,679
Now, you may
think that your father
1009
00:42:51,703 --> 00:42:53,180
is bossing you around,
1010
00:42:53,204 --> 00:42:56,472
but all he wants is
what's best for you.
1011
00:42:57,675 --> 00:42:59,153
I know.
1012
00:42:59,177 --> 00:43:01,656
It's just that sometimes
it's hard to live that way.
1013
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:03,257
Young lady...
1014
00:43:03,281 --> 00:43:05,915
nobody said life had to be easy.
1015
00:43:07,285 --> 00:43:08,596
Mr. Smith.
1016
00:43:08,620 --> 00:43:11,332
Uh, call me Gopher.
1017
00:43:11,356 --> 00:43:12,566
Thank you.
1018
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:13,923
Call me Captain Stubing.
1019
00:43:16,394 --> 00:43:17,938
Now, let's just look on this
1020
00:43:17,962 --> 00:43:21,609
entire episode...
as an experiment.
1021
00:43:21,633 --> 00:43:22,843
Yes, sir.
1022
00:43:22,867 --> 00:43:25,646
An experiment that
failed... miserably.
1023
00:43:25,670 --> 00:43:26,647
Miserably.
1024
00:43:26,671 --> 00:43:27,671
Miserably.
1025
00:43:28,873 --> 00:43:32,420
Now... all of those
in favor of reinstating
1026
00:43:32,444 --> 00:43:34,821
Yeoman Purser
Smith, please say "Aye".
1027
00:43:34,845 --> 00:43:36,357
ALL: Aye, aye, sir.
1028
00:43:36,381 --> 00:43:37,547
All opposed.
1029
00:43:39,250 --> 00:43:42,263
Congratulations,
assistant purser.
1030
00:43:42,287 --> 00:43:44,053
You are hereby unfired.
1031
00:43:45,857 --> 00:43:49,837
Now... that is the
first and last vote
1032
00:43:49,861 --> 00:43:51,581
you will ever take on this ship.
1033
00:43:52,396 --> 00:43:53,741
This is an order.
( clears throat )
1034
00:43:53,765 --> 00:43:54,908
Ha. Yes, sir.
1035
00:43:54,932 --> 00:43:57,612
Thank you, sir. Mm-hm.
1036
00:43:59,537 --> 00:44:00,817
( door closes )
1037
00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:07,577
( cheery theme playing )
1038
00:44:10,815 --> 00:44:11,815
( bell dings )
1039
00:44:17,655 --> 00:44:20,056
( upbeat theme playing )
1040
00:44:47,051 --> 00:44:49,596
We'd better say goodbye here.
1041
00:44:49,620 --> 00:44:50,664
You okay?
1042
00:44:50,688 --> 00:44:52,333
My back hurts.
1043
00:44:52,357 --> 00:44:54,468
I never slept in
a bathtub before.
1044
00:44:54,492 --> 00:44:57,003
You didn't have to
do that, you know.
1045
00:44:57,027 --> 00:44:58,405
I know.
1046
00:44:58,429 --> 00:45:00,106
But for the first
time in a long time
1047
00:45:00,130 --> 00:45:02,042
my conscience doesn't hurt.
1048
00:45:02,066 --> 00:45:03,766
Nor mine.
1049
00:45:04,635 --> 00:45:06,001
Goodbye, Lee.
1050
00:45:07,205 --> 00:45:08,671
Good luck.
1051
00:45:15,046 --> 00:45:16,223
YAMASHIRO: Mrs. Newman?
1052
00:45:16,247 --> 00:45:18,458
Mrs. Newman,
wait, please. Eh-heh.
1053
00:45:18,482 --> 00:45:20,728
Uh, one last big chance, eh?
1054
00:45:20,752 --> 00:45:22,385
You sell me the factory?
1055
00:45:23,287 --> 00:45:24,665
Ask my new advisor.
1056
00:45:24,689 --> 00:45:25,689
Sure.
1057
00:45:26,924 --> 00:45:28,268
Him?
1058
00:45:28,292 --> 00:45:31,505
I fire and you hire?
1059
00:45:31,529 --> 00:45:32,540
EVE: Not exactly.
1060
00:45:32,564 --> 00:45:34,075
They're gonna get married.
1061
00:45:34,099 --> 00:45:35,743
And as for the factory,
1062
00:45:35,767 --> 00:45:37,933
we're gonna use it to
produce my invention.
1063
00:45:39,237 --> 00:45:41,082
Oh, married.
1064
00:45:41,106 --> 00:45:42,583
Heh-heh.
1065
00:45:42,607 --> 00:45:45,619
Yamashiro invest
in, uh, invention.
1066
00:45:45,643 --> 00:45:48,188
How about, uh,
100,000 to start, eh?
1067
00:45:48,212 --> 00:45:50,124
Call it, uh, wedding present.
1068
00:45:50,148 --> 00:45:51,980
That's very generous of you.
1069
00:45:53,418 --> 00:45:55,061
Old American saying, eh-heh:
1070
00:45:55,085 --> 00:45:57,786
"You can't join
'em, beat 'em." Heh.
1071
00:46:03,060 --> 00:46:04,393
Laraine.
1072
00:46:07,398 --> 00:46:08,942
How did it go?
1073
00:46:08,966 --> 00:46:11,033
Did you get your
business accomplished?
1074
00:46:12,370 --> 00:46:15,281
Well, Laraine...
there's something...
1075
00:46:15,305 --> 00:46:17,540
Something I got to explain.
1076
00:46:19,677 --> 00:46:21,777
It really wasn't
a business trip.
1077
00:46:23,180 --> 00:46:25,559
Thank you for being honest.
1078
00:46:25,583 --> 00:46:26,627
I knew.
1079
00:46:26,651 --> 00:46:28,229
( sighs )
1080
00:46:28,253 --> 00:46:29,952
I've been so stupid.
1081
00:46:30,921 --> 00:46:32,433
But I'm back.
1082
00:46:32,457 --> 00:46:34,724
I mean, really back,
if you'll take me.
1083
00:46:35,860 --> 00:46:37,772
I do love you, Laraine.
1084
00:46:37,796 --> 00:46:40,896
And I hope you believe
me, 'cause I mean it.
1085
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:44,066
I love you too.
1086
00:46:50,074 --> 00:46:51,117
Wait.
1087
00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:52,286
I'll get my bags.
1088
00:46:52,310 --> 00:46:53,310
Okay.
1089
00:46:55,580 --> 00:46:57,191
( door closes, cab drives off )
1090
00:46:57,215 --> 00:46:58,215
Laraine.
1091
00:47:01,786 --> 00:47:03,018
You poor thing.
1092
00:47:04,221 --> 00:47:05,766
Have I got
something to tell you.
1093
00:47:05,790 --> 00:47:08,169
No, Cora. You don't
have a thing to tell me.
1094
00:47:08,193 --> 00:47:09,503
Oh, it's so sad,
1095
00:47:09,527 --> 00:47:12,473
because a wife is
always the last to know.
1096
00:47:12,497 --> 00:47:13,796
Right, Herman?
1097
00:47:19,103 --> 00:47:20,647
Herman.
1098
00:47:20,671 --> 00:47:22,304
Come, Herman.
1099
00:47:23,374 --> 00:47:24,374
( speak indistinctly )
1100
00:47:27,144 --> 00:47:29,590
Vanessa told me
about the talk you had.
1101
00:47:29,614 --> 00:47:30,957
Thanks.
1102
00:47:30,981 --> 00:47:32,125
You're quite a guy.
1103
00:47:32,149 --> 00:47:33,861
Vanessa's quite a girl.
1104
00:47:33,885 --> 00:47:35,996
Though I must say,
sometimes I find
1105
00:47:36,020 --> 00:47:38,399
young people hard to understand.
1106
00:47:38,423 --> 00:47:39,423
Yeah.
1107
00:47:40,692 --> 00:47:42,825
What does she see in him?
1108
00:47:45,496 --> 00:47:47,040
But I almost got you fired.
1109
00:47:47,064 --> 00:47:48,241
Oh, no.
1110
00:47:48,265 --> 00:47:49,698
No, I got me fired.
1111
00:47:50,868 --> 00:47:52,178
Instead of being my own person,
1112
00:47:52,202 --> 00:47:54,381
my person was
impersonating your person.
1113
00:47:54,405 --> 00:47:56,216
I don't follow you.
And I don't follow you.
1114
00:47:56,240 --> 00:47:57,417
Isn't that great?
1115
00:47:57,441 --> 00:47:59,241
Oh. Far out. Mm.
1116
00:48:01,946 --> 00:48:03,226
Come on, Vanessa.
1117
00:48:05,116 --> 00:48:06,627
Okay, Gopher. Time to pay up.
1118
00:48:06,651 --> 00:48:10,196
Uh-huh. The captain only
picked on you 19 times.
1119
00:48:10,220 --> 00:48:11,732
One short.
1120
00:48:11,756 --> 00:48:14,134
That means you owe
us 50 bucks apiece.
1121
00:48:14,158 --> 00:48:15,402
Come on, pay up.
1122
00:48:15,426 --> 00:48:16,503
Gopher.
1123
00:48:16,527 --> 00:48:18,505
Thank you, sir.
1124
00:48:18,529 --> 00:48:19,906
And thank you.
1125
00:48:19,930 --> 00:48:22,242
That will be $50 apiece, please.
1126
00:48:22,266 --> 00:48:23,944
Don't worry, you'll
all get a receipt.
1127
00:48:23,968 --> 00:48:25,078
Oh, yeah, sure. Oh, shoot.
1128
00:48:25,102 --> 00:48:26,334
( all chattering )
1129
00:48:37,982 --> 00:48:40,749
( adventurous theme playing )
76383
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