Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,652 --> 00:00:12,575
Yes, I love that.
2
00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:14,577
Another kill for Jeanie.
3
00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:15,745
All right.
4
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:16,829
Mare, what do you got?
5
00:00:16,833 --> 00:00:17,997
Yeah. Um...
6
00:00:18,001 --> 00:00:19,749
So I was thinking of doing
a story
7
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:21,459
called "Downtown Downturn"
8
00:00:21,463 --> 00:00:24,170
about how fewer people
are moving downtown.
9
00:00:24,174 --> 00:00:26,381
Interesting. I like it.
So, what's your angle?
10
00:00:26,385 --> 00:00:28,841
You know, I don't know yet.
11
00:00:28,845 --> 00:00:31,678
Ah, man. I was gonna do
an "I don't know yet" story
12
00:00:31,682 --> 00:00:33,930
about two words
that sound good together.
13
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:36,349
"Uptown, Up Yours."
14
00:00:36,353 --> 00:00:40,478
-No.
-I think this can live here.
15
00:00:40,482 --> 00:00:42,564
Look,
I didn't plan on being here,
16
00:00:42,568 --> 00:00:43,498
but now that I am,
17
00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:46,568
I just really wanna kick
a tiny bit of ass.
18
00:00:46,572 --> 00:00:48,945
And I'm already
on the Not Satisfactory board.
19
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:51,531
I haven't felt anxiety like this
since I was a kid
20
00:00:51,535 --> 00:00:54,033
and they had to give me
prescription deodorant.
21
00:00:54,037 --> 00:00:56,035
They called me Pit Stain Pritti.
22
00:00:56,039 --> 00:00:57,287
It was good times.
23
00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:58,788
How'd it go?
24
00:00:58,792 --> 00:00:59,998
-It bombed.
-What?
25
00:01:00,002 --> 00:01:02,000
"Downtown Downturn" bombed?
26
00:01:02,004 --> 00:01:03,376
-So hard.
-You're kidding.
27
00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:04,669
That story had everything.
28
00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:06,879
It had demographics.
Two "D" words.
29
00:01:06,883 --> 00:01:08,047
I know.
30
00:01:08,051 --> 00:01:09,340
Did they assign you
something else?
31
00:01:09,344 --> 00:01:10,800
They don't assign stories.
32
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:11,884
You eat what you kill.
33
00:01:11,888 --> 00:01:13,219
And I'm like the lion
34
00:01:13,223 --> 00:01:15,138
the other lions
are embarrassed to look at.
35
00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:17,932
Well, I mean,
if it's any consolation,
36
00:01:17,936 --> 00:01:19,601
it sucks here too.
37
00:01:19,605 --> 00:01:21,311
I haven't been excited
about anything
38
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,021
since our Glass Club story died.
39
00:01:23,025 --> 00:01:26,733
I just can't believe I'm gonna
be fired and sent back home.
40
00:01:26,737 --> 00:01:28,818
Like someone who failed
to impress RuPaul.
41
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:31,487
You know what you should do?
You should roar like a lion.
42
00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,573
-Shut up.
-Like the lion you are.
43
00:01:33,577 --> 00:01:35,825
You should. I know you're in one
of those soundproof booths.
44
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,119
{\an8}Come on. You can't kill
if you can't roar.
45
00:01:38,123 --> 00:01:40,121
Rah!
46
00:01:40,125 --> 00:01:42,040
No, you gotta go louder.
Come on, go for it.
47
00:01:46,923 --> 00:01:48,254
That's what I'm talking about.
48
00:01:48,258 --> 00:01:49,881
Are we still on
for dinner tonight?
49
00:01:49,885 --> 00:01:51,424
-Yeah. For sure.
-Okay.
50
00:01:51,428 --> 00:01:53,593
Rah...! She's gone.
51
00:01:53,597 --> 00:01:55,595
We've been having dinner
over FaceTime.
52
00:01:55,599 --> 00:01:57,221
We call it
"StuffYourFaceTime."
53
00:01:57,225 --> 00:01:58,806
We try and order the same food
54
00:01:58,810 --> 00:02:00,600
so we can pretend
we're at the same restaurant.
55
00:02:00,604 --> 00:02:02,935
But Ned likes Chinese food
a lot more than I do,
56
00:02:02,939 --> 00:02:04,646
so I've just been putting
chicken nuggets
57
00:02:04,650 --> 00:02:06,293
into a Chinese food carton.
58
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:08,107
It's working.
59
00:02:08,111 --> 00:02:09,942
Best part of my day.
60
00:02:09,946 --> 00:02:11,194
Our dinners.
61
00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:13,237
If it weren't
for StuffYourFaceTime,
62
00:02:13,241 --> 00:02:14,801
I'd have no reason to live.
63
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:19,765
That came out a little darker
than I intended.
64
00:02:20,699 --> 00:02:23,331
But it is the only thing
keeping me alive.
65
00:02:52,489 --> 00:02:56,698
{\an8}All we have today
is more tornado follow-up.
66
00:02:56,702 --> 00:02:58,658
{\an8}-Mm-hmm.
-Wish we'd get another tornado.
67
00:02:58,662 --> 00:02:59,596
{\an8}That was fun.
68
00:03:00,664 --> 00:03:04,247
So, uh, yeah, so we got
two deaths from the tornado.
69
00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:06,249
{\an8}We have a woman
who drove into a ravine,
70
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,000
{\an8}and her car filled up with water.
71
00:03:08,004 --> 00:03:09,544
That's my number one fear.
72
00:03:09,548 --> 00:03:12,046
And we have a guy
who got blown off a roof.
73
00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:13,089
My number two fear.
74
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,674
We got sent this press release
75
00:03:14,678 --> 00:03:17,656
about the man who fell from
the roof. Desmond Sandoval.
76
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,241
Oh.
77
00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:21,514
Uh...
78
00:03:21,518 --> 00:03:23,850
-It's the Glass Club?
-That's where he worked.
79
00:03:23,854 --> 00:03:25,893
At their rooftop restaurant
downtown.
80
00:03:25,897 --> 00:03:27,395
Nope. No. Nope, nope.
81
00:03:27,399 --> 00:03:29,522
Glass Club? No.
82
00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:31,983
Not touching it.
I learned my lesson.
83
00:03:31,987 --> 00:03:33,943
I only have to get
publicly humiliated
84
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,487
and have my girlfriend sent
to another city once.
85
00:03:36,491 --> 00:03:39,198
Not... No, not doing that.
86
00:03:39,202 --> 00:03:40,700
Uh, you wanna take that one?
87
00:03:40,704 --> 00:03:43,369
-Uh, what, just publish this?
-Obviously do your job.
88
00:03:43,373 --> 00:03:44,579
Go down and confirm
what happened.
89
00:03:44,583 --> 00:03:47,415
But just leave me out of it, please.
90
00:03:47,419 --> 00:03:50,001
Travis, you wanna go with her
and get photos?
91
00:03:50,005 --> 00:03:53,880
Oh, you know, I wish I could,
boss, but I have cramps.
92
00:03:53,884 --> 00:03:54,881
What?
93
00:03:54,885 --> 00:03:56,382
I have male cramps, Ned.
94
00:03:56,386 --> 00:03:58,634
And more of us men
should be open about that.
95
00:03:58,638 --> 00:04:00,386
It's not just a lady's game.
96
00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:03,139
No. You guys
did not miss anything
97
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:04,724
the rest of tornado day.
98
00:04:04,728 --> 00:04:07,685
{\an8}Absolutely nothing happened.
99
00:04:07,689 --> 00:04:09,270
Esmeralda.
100
00:04:09,274 --> 00:04:10,709
Jane Doe in the ravine.
101
00:04:11,568 --> 00:04:13,065
That's a good match.
102
00:04:13,069 --> 00:04:14,859
This is
what I should write about?
103
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,611
A woman that dies
in her little car
104
00:04:16,615 --> 00:04:19,197
because she forgot
how doors work?
105
00:04:19,201 --> 00:04:21,240
How humiliating.
106
00:04:21,244 --> 00:04:25,077
When they try to get you down,
you are never down far enough.
107
00:04:25,081 --> 00:04:27,079
They want you lower and lower.
108
00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:28,623
And now Ned Sampson,
109
00:04:28,627 --> 00:04:32,001
he's trying to put me
under the sea level, you know?
110
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,669
-Hey.
-Hey.
111
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:36,839
{\an8}Some photograph
of the Glass Club accident.
112
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,778
All right.
I'll take one look.
113
00:04:40,639 --> 00:04:43,596
This is just a picture of a guy
power washing the sidewalk.
114
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,431
Yeah.
That's what he was doing.
115
00:04:45,435 --> 00:04:47,099
They already finished
investigating?
116
00:04:47,103 --> 00:04:48,434
Where's the police report?
117
00:04:48,438 --> 00:04:50,353
Don't know,
they said there wasn't one.
118
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,605
Journalists need good instincts.
119
00:04:52,609 --> 00:04:55,650
But one of
the most important instincts
120
00:04:55,654 --> 00:04:59,237
is knowing when to not listen
to your instincts.
121
00:04:59,241 --> 00:05:02,865
Do I care that when someone dies
there's usually a police report?
122
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:07,954
Especially when that person dies
in an unusual way?
123
00:05:07,958 --> 00:05:11,290
Right now, I've got a voice
in my ear going, "Hey, Ned,
124
00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:14,752
there is something odd going on
over at the Glass Club
125
00:05:14,756 --> 00:05:16,587
with that guy
who fell off the roof
126
00:05:16,591 --> 00:05:18,881
and the way
that they cleaned it up."
127
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:21,467
But there's another
even littler voice going,
128
00:05:21,471 --> 00:05:23,970
"Hey, don't listen to that guy."
129
00:05:23,974 --> 00:05:25,471
You've screwed up before
130
00:05:25,475 --> 00:05:27,139
and if you keep going like this,
131
00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:28,474
"you're gonna screw up again,"
132
00:05:28,478 --> 00:05:30,830
but that little voice
is kind of chicken shit.
133
00:05:33,775 --> 00:05:36,023
Your son really reminds me
of somebody.
134
00:05:36,027 --> 00:05:38,484
It's, um...
It's...
135
00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:41,112
Ah! It's a potato.
136
00:05:41,116 --> 00:05:43,197
When are you due?
137
00:05:45,203 --> 00:05:46,367
Hey, who's that?
138
00:05:46,371 --> 00:05:47,743
Oh, that's one of the new moms
139
00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:49,662
-you've been temping for.
-Oh.
140
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:51,747
Yeah, she's about
two and a half months
141
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:53,875
into her three-month
maternity leave,
142
00:05:53,879 --> 00:05:56,794
but it looks like she's thinking
about coming back early.
143
00:05:56,798 --> 00:05:59,088
-It's good to see you, Amanda.
-Good to see you.
144
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:01,799
Would you grow up already so
your mom can come back to work,
145
00:06:01,803 --> 00:06:03,259
we really need her.
146
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:06,053
Oh, my gosh, he is so precious.
147
00:06:06,057 --> 00:06:06,888
Not at 3:00 a.m.
148
00:06:06,892 --> 00:06:09,724
Oh, this age
is so the sweet spot.
149
00:06:09,728 --> 00:06:11,309
It's when they really
get to know you.
150
00:06:12,731 --> 00:06:14,729
Whatever face they look at
from three to six months
151
00:06:14,733 --> 00:06:16,439
is the one
that they'll listen to
152
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:18,232
when they're 14.
153
00:06:18,236 --> 00:06:19,692
Do you need your mommy?
154
00:06:19,696 --> 00:06:21,611
Do you need your mommy?
155
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:22,904
-Do you...
-You're so lucky
156
00:06:22,908 --> 00:06:24,280
your partner's
a full-time parent.
157
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,407
No. My husband's a firefighter.
158
00:06:26,411 --> 00:06:29,035
Well, day care is fun too.
159
00:06:29,039 --> 00:06:31,203
Just make sure
you wash those widdle hands.
160
00:06:31,207 --> 00:06:33,748
Your immune system's gonna
get really stwong.
161
00:06:33,752 --> 00:06:35,166
Yours too.
162
00:06:35,170 --> 00:06:37,293
Obviously, I'm not proud
of what I just did.
163
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:40,546
But I can't leave this job
without an epic story.
164
00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:43,341
And that story will be my baby.
165
00:06:43,345 --> 00:06:44,779
How was storm chasing?
166
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,430
Um... I'm actually working
on a screenplay about it.
167
00:06:49,434 --> 00:06:50,890
For a motion picture.
168
00:06:50,894 --> 00:06:52,266
-Nice.
-And I'm... Yeah.
169
00:06:52,270 --> 00:06:56,479
I'm gonna be calling it,
um, Merry Twistmas.
170
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,272
So it's like
a tornado Christmas movie.
171
00:06:58,276 --> 00:06:59,398
Yeah.
172
00:06:59,402 --> 00:07:00,608
-Awesome, bro.
-Yeah. Exactly.
173
00:07:00,612 --> 00:07:02,860
And, uh,
there's two coworkers in it
174
00:07:02,864 --> 00:07:04,946
that share this
incredibly awkward moment,
175
00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:06,781
and one of them is just not sure
176
00:07:06,785 --> 00:07:09,095
how the other one feels about it.
177
00:07:10,121 --> 00:07:11,827
Uh-huh. Okay.
178
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:14,163
I would just focus
on the tornado and Christmas.
179
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,373
-Yeah?
-That's, like,
180
00:07:15,377 --> 00:07:16,958
the most commercial part
of all of this.
181
00:07:16,962 --> 00:07:20,127
Yeah. No, listen, I just need
to get the details right.
182
00:07:20,131 --> 00:07:23,965
So, uh, you were in
a relationship at work. Right?
183
00:07:23,969 --> 00:07:27,134
Yeah, I've never been
in a relationship at work.
184
00:07:27,138 --> 00:07:28,844
Not like a real one.
185
00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:29,991
Oh, really?
186
00:07:31,226 --> 00:07:33,557
We were dating.
He's just gaslighting you.
187
00:07:33,561 --> 00:07:35,643
He's gaslighting you,
he's gaslighting me,
188
00:07:35,647 --> 00:07:37,353
and Merry Twistmas is gonna bomb.
189
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,648
I wanna report an official
office relationship.
190
00:07:40,652 --> 00:07:43,025
Okay, juicy. Oh, my God.
Who with?
191
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:45,486
I was in a relationship
with Detrick Moore.
192
00:07:45,490 --> 00:07:47,530
Okay, nice girl.
193
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:48,948
He is cute.
194
00:07:48,952 --> 00:07:51,075
Oh, but you know,
you only have to report it
195
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:52,868
if it's like,
a boss-employee thing.
196
00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:54,954
Like if The Beast
was with Belle or some...
197
00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:57,581
No, if the Beast
was with Mrs. Potts?
198
00:07:57,585 --> 00:07:59,208
Imagine that. Kinky, weird.
199
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,711
I'm a person, not a teapot, okay?
200
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:06,048
Mark it as real, mark it
as happened, mark it as over.
201
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:08,175
Okay, chill.
202
00:08:08,179 --> 00:08:10,886
Nicole, wait. Guess what
I'm thinking about now?
203
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:13,347
The Beast railing Mrs. Potts.
204
00:08:13,351 --> 00:08:14,765
Thanks for that visual, right?
205
00:08:14,769 --> 00:08:18,352
"Oh, Beast. Tip me over
and pour me out, innit."
206
00:08:18,356 --> 00:08:19,582
Nicole.
207
00:08:23,361 --> 00:08:26,068
-Hey.
-Hey.
208
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:31,240
I have an itch that I really
shouldn't scratch.
209
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,366
I'm gonna be recording
210
00:08:32,370 --> 00:08:33,617
-this conversation.
-No.
211
00:08:33,621 --> 00:08:35,161
-November 15th.
-No.
212
00:08:35,165 --> 00:08:36,162
Male voice, Ned Sampson.
213
00:08:36,166 --> 00:08:38,289
No, you don't have to do that.
Listen to me.
214
00:08:38,293 --> 00:08:41,250
It's about
that, uh, funny old waiter,
215
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,335
the one that fell off
that funny old roof.
216
00:08:43,339 --> 00:08:45,254
I was just thinking
that he must have been
217
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:49,842
pretty old and small, right,
218
00:08:49,846 --> 00:08:52,845
for the wind to just
pick him up like that.
219
00:08:52,849 --> 00:08:54,680
-Not really.
-No?
220
00:08:54,684 --> 00:08:57,183
I mean, this is
his family's in-memoriam page.
221
00:08:57,187 --> 00:08:58,246
Let me see.
222
00:09:00,065 --> 00:09:01,791
Ooh! Big fella!
223
00:09:02,650 --> 00:09:04,273
He also used to salsa dance.
224
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:08,069
-Ah. That takes core strength.
-Yes, it does.
225
00:09:08,073 --> 00:09:10,738
I think it's odd they wouldn't
mention any of those details
226
00:09:10,742 --> 00:09:12,615
in the press release, right?
227
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:15,117
Ned?
Your curiosity isn't sparked
228
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:18,537
{\an8}by some deep-seated resentment
of a certain club?
229
00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:19,914
{\an8}-Not at all. Not at all.
-Uh-huh. Okay.
230
00:09:19,918 --> 00:09:21,165
-Not at all.
-All right.
231
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:22,166
Not at all. Adelola,
232
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:25,086
would you please join me
in the conference room?
233
00:09:25,090 --> 00:09:27,025
Is this about the Glass Club?
234
00:09:30,887 --> 00:09:33,677
Oscar, would you join me
in the conference room, please.
235
00:09:33,681 --> 00:09:34,970
-Is it about the Glass Club?
-No.
236
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:37,723
It's about a different topic
237
00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:39,600
that I can't discuss
with you out here
238
00:09:39,604 --> 00:09:42,394
because it involves the F-word.
239
00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:43,729
Please?
240
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,564
Travis, conference room.
241
00:09:45,568 --> 00:09:46,816
-Is it about the Glass Club?
-No.
242
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,359
Detrick, conference room.
243
00:09:48,363 --> 00:09:51,049
-Is this about the Glass Club?
-No. Come... Just...
244
00:09:51,533 --> 00:09:52,863
Guys,
245
00:09:52,867 --> 00:09:54,949
I may have misled you
a tiny little bit.
246
00:09:54,953 --> 00:09:57,722
This is about the Glass Club.
247
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:06,836
Ned is up to something.
248
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,630
He's probably planning
my next demotion,
249
00:10:09,634 --> 00:10:10,840
I can smell it, you know?
250
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:13,342
You can't lie to this nose.
251
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:16,929
That man loves to demote
single moms.
252
00:10:16,933 --> 00:10:18,430
Welcome to the first meeting
253
00:10:18,434 --> 00:10:21,183
of the Toledo Truth Teller
Secret Team.
254
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:22,726
-Are you in?
-Is this going to be
255
00:10:22,730 --> 00:10:24,186
our regular meeting time?
256
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,521
I don't think there will be
257
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,314
a standard time, Oscar, right?
258
00:10:27,318 --> 00:10:30,943
I should off the bat say that
Wednesdays are a no-go for me.
259
00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:32,862
My mom and I never miss
Survivor night.
260
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:33,988
Wait, no spoilers, please.
261
00:10:33,992 --> 00:10:35,406
-Okay.
-I'm two behind.
262
00:10:35,410 --> 00:10:36,949
-No, all right, we won't...
-I'm just...
263
00:10:36,953 --> 00:10:38,242
-We won't do Wednesdays.
-All right.
264
00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:39,702
Now, we'll look
at this photograph
265
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:41,287
of the Glass Club
rooftop building.
266
00:10:41,291 --> 00:10:43,956
Okay? Umbrellas
and toupees everywhere.
267
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,791
Yet the only thing
to get blown off
268
00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:48,377
is a large nimble man.
269
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,713
That is odd, right? Yes?
270
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:52,590
I can't do Tuesday
and Friday nights.
271
00:10:52,594 --> 00:10:53,841
Well, this is just great,
272
00:10:53,845 --> 00:10:55,384
I cannot do Thursdays or Mondays.
273
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,720
-I'll send out a Calendly later.
-I can't...
274
00:10:57,724 --> 00:10:59,221
Could we focus, please?
275
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,724
He's not letting me on his team.
276
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:03,642
I will make my own team.
277
00:11:03,646 --> 00:11:05,561
So, what do you guys think?
278
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:11,525
Are you willing to pledge your
life to Esmeralda's Secret Team?
279
00:11:11,529 --> 00:11:12,735
Can I tell my wife?
280
00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,403
I've never kept anything
from Summer.
281
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,198
That's not sexy at all.
You must have some mystery.
282
00:11:17,202 --> 00:11:19,742
Roxanne doesn't even know
what Barry's short for.
283
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:21,535
She doesn't even know
where I work.
284
00:11:21,539 --> 00:11:22,870
She thinks I'm a cop.
285
00:11:22,874 --> 00:11:25,414
You will be on
a very important mission.
286
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:26,115
Oh?
287
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:29,335
The mission of my secret team
288
00:11:29,339 --> 00:11:32,588
is to find out the mission
of Ned's Secret Team.
289
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,131
Ned's got a secret team?
290
00:11:34,135 --> 00:11:36,091
Well, he must've got up
pretty early in the morning
291
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:37,384
to get that by me.
292
00:11:37,388 --> 00:11:39,428
I'm the eyes and ears
of this place.
293
00:11:40,683 --> 00:11:41,972
We should have a chant.
294
00:11:41,976 --> 00:11:43,432
So the sergeant confirmed
295
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,601
it's completely improper
to power wash a crime scene.
296
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,603
Said it never happens
and he'll check who allowed it.
297
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,146
I sent him a Linkedln, he...
298
00:11:49,150 --> 00:11:50,898
-Okay... Ah, ah, ah!
-Shh, shh, shh.
299
00:11:50,902 --> 00:11:52,316
Shit.
300
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:57,112
All I wanna do is gather
with a few men in secret.
301
00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:59,073
What is so threatening
about that?
302
00:11:59,077 --> 00:12:00,866
-What am I doing here?
-Hey.
303
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:02,284
You guys might be
asking yourself?
304
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:05,162
Well, ha, I'm not gonna tell you.
305
00:12:05,166 --> 00:12:08,082
But I will say
I don't feel good about it.
306
00:12:08,086 --> 00:12:10,501
Oh, I actually know
where we can meet.
307
00:12:10,505 --> 00:12:12,920
Hang on,
this'll just take a second.
308
00:12:12,924 --> 00:12:15,965
We, uh, started
a secret team text chain
309
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,571
that I call
"The Sons of Hermes."
310
00:12:20,890 --> 00:12:22,638
Travis changed the name.
311
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:31,897
Whose place is this, man?
312
00:12:31,901 --> 00:12:33,816
It is Mare's.
313
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:35,276
She gave me the door code
314
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,486
so I could water her plants
while she's away.
315
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:41,344
Um... But unfortunately,
I have been busy.
316
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:43,525
Whoa... Wait.
317
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:46,870
Do you have access to all
of our apartments? Answer me.
318
00:12:46,874 --> 00:12:49,123
Damn. Check out Mare
off the clock.
319
00:12:49,127 --> 00:12:51,145
-Body, ody-ody-ody-ah!
-That's...
320
00:12:53,589 --> 00:12:58,007
Guys, we have to figure out
what happened on that rooftop.
321
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,843
We know that on the day
of the tornado,
322
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:04,430
the Glass Club was serving lunch.
323
00:13:04,434 --> 00:13:06,015
-Yes.
-Now, where's the waiter,
324
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:07,182
where's Desmond?
325
00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:09,018
Oh, uh, Desmond is the deodorant.
326
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,519
-Okay?
-Oh.
327
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:13,022
Because what happened to him
is a secret.
328
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:16,108
But is Desmond really
deodorant-sized?
329
00:13:16,112 --> 00:13:17,568
In real life?
330
00:13:17,572 --> 00:13:20,904
I mean, like, he's stocky, he...
Like shaving cream.
331
00:13:20,908 --> 00:13:22,323
-I see.
-He needs more heft.
332
00:13:22,327 --> 00:13:24,533
-Okay, sure...
-Then maybe mayo? Maybe mayo.
333
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,368
-Okay. We'll say mayo.
-Yeah. Okay.
334
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:29,371
Let's say that
Desmond is the mayo. Now...
335
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,790
That's all well and good,
but here comes the weather.
336
00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:33,459
Ooh.
337
00:13:33,463 --> 00:13:37,880
The ChapStick just falls over,
yet the mayonnaise is anchored.
338
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:39,214
It's not going anywhere.
339
00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:41,446
Why would the mayo,
and only the mayo...
340
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:43,948
fall off the roof?
341
00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:47,410
We must snoop.
342
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:50,059
Guys.
343
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,894
Everybody snoop.
344
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:55,564
Jesus,
so many emails from Birkenstock.
345
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,233
Birkenstock?
You got any coupon codes?
346
00:13:58,237 --> 00:14:01,195
Hold up!
He's got socks in here.
347
00:14:01,199 --> 00:14:04,156
And there's a name written
on them. Look up Ned Hanes.
348
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,201
There is no way
that Adam is that stupid.
349
00:14:07,205 --> 00:14:08,577
Ned has got to him.
350
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:11,580
Look at me, Barry.
We are not talking.
351
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:15,667
I think that Adam
is a double agent.
352
00:14:15,671 --> 00:14:19,713
Oh, you have the palsy.
353
00:14:19,717 --> 00:14:22,070
Roxanne has that as well.
354
00:14:23,888 --> 00:14:25,281
They got to Barry too.
355
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:29,431
It's hard
to blow Desmond the mayo off.
356
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:33,602
{\an8}But what if Mrs. Butterworth's
357
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:37,064
{\an8}and Core Power Protein
decide to do, do, do.
358
00:14:37,068 --> 00:14:38,524
-They pick up mayo...
-Yeah.
359
00:14:38,528 --> 00:14:41,276
and throw him off the roof.
360
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,278
It could be murder?
361
00:14:45,034 --> 00:14:46,719
Who the hell are you guys?
362
00:14:48,037 --> 00:14:49,034
Hello.
363
00:14:49,038 --> 00:14:50,035
-Um...
-Okay.
364
00:14:50,039 --> 00:14:51,537
How do you know Mare?
365
00:14:51,541 --> 00:14:54,581
Well, I didn't know
that you AirBnb'd your place.
366
00:14:54,585 --> 00:14:55,649
I mean, I'm very sorry.
367
00:14:55,653 --> 00:14:58,335
I'll pay you back the dates
that they canceled.
368
00:14:58,339 --> 00:15:00,546
Listen. I can't do
StuffYourFaceTime tonight.
369
00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:03,757
I need to find a story.
I feel like such a loser.
370
00:15:03,761 --> 00:15:05,217
No, no. They're the losers.
371
00:15:05,221 --> 00:15:06,760
Why don't you just come home?
372
00:15:06,764 --> 00:15:08,137
No, I'm not leaving here
373
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:09,596
until I get a story
in this paper.
374
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,057
-And then you could leave?
-Yeah.
375
00:15:12,061 --> 00:15:13,350
All right. Well, you know what,
376
00:15:13,354 --> 00:15:15,519
that sounds
worth missing dinner for.
377
00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:18,605
-So go get them, buddy.
-Thanks, dude.
378
00:15:18,609 --> 00:15:21,316
All right, secret team?
I think this is too important,
379
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,818
and we need to make this work.
380
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:25,362
So I am suggesting that
all of you cancel your plans,
381
00:15:25,366 --> 00:15:26,864
and we'll order in dinner.
382
00:15:26,868 --> 00:15:29,992
I am supposed to help
my stepdad move back in tonight.
383
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:32,744
I think that your mom
should do that.
384
00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:36,185
Because it sounds like they need
to talk. And dinner is on me.
385
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:41,003
I wasn't sure about going
after the Glass Club again,
386
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:42,713
but the more I think about it,
387
00:15:42,717 --> 00:15:45,403
they may have actually murdered
that mayonnaise.
388
00:15:48,389 --> 00:15:49,678
-This is kind of nice.
-Yeah.
389
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:50,579
Pizza with the guys?
390
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,515
Hey, seeing as how
we're a secret team,
391
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,642
maybe we should share
some secrets.
392
00:15:55,646 --> 00:15:57,582
-Mm...
-For bonding purposes.
393
00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:01,440
-Perhaps a blood oath.
-No.
394
00:16:01,444 --> 00:16:03,734
-Yeah, I don't like blood.
-No?
395
00:16:03,738 --> 00:16:05,402
Yeah. No, I was thinking
more just like
396
00:16:05,406 --> 00:16:06,945
we could each go around
397
00:16:06,949 --> 00:16:11,366
and reveal something secret
about ourselves, you know?
398
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:12,826
For solidarity.
399
00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:14,661
Yeah, I don't like blood.
400
00:16:15,466 --> 00:16:17,581
I was thinking something more...
401
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:21,210
I tried some of
my birth dad's ashes.
402
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,586
I put them in a juice,
403
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:25,130
and I tried to absorb
some of his power.
404
00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:27,320
-And it didn't work.
-Okay.
405
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:29,614
More like that.
406
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:35,098
Uh-oh, Detrick.
407
00:16:35,102 --> 00:16:37,184
A visit from HR is never good.
408
00:16:37,188 --> 00:16:38,769
Nicole came by my office earlier,
409
00:16:38,773 --> 00:16:40,312
and she just kind of let me know
410
00:16:40,316 --> 00:16:43,774
that you two
had a relationship history.
411
00:16:43,778 --> 00:16:46,109
Yeah, I wouldn't call that
a relationship.
412
00:16:46,113 --> 00:16:47,444
Okay. I knew it.
413
00:16:47,448 --> 00:16:48,695
-Why's that?
-I don't know,
414
00:16:48,699 --> 00:16:51,240
I just see you
with someone more fun.
415
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,033
Well, I'm not that fun. So...
416
00:16:53,037 --> 00:16:55,661
Well, you need a fun
and a not-fun for balance.
417
00:16:55,665 --> 00:16:57,454
That's what
all the books say, so...
418
00:16:57,458 --> 00:16:58,497
Ah.
419
00:16:58,501 --> 00:17:00,958
-I'm fun.
-I see.
420
00:17:00,962 --> 00:17:03,752
Did I just inform HR Lisa
that Detrick's single?
421
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:05,212
You're such a gentleman.
422
00:17:05,216 --> 00:17:06,922
The mayor says the new riverfront
423
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:08,361
will create 3,000 jobs.
424
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,218
Eh... N.S.
425
00:17:11,222 --> 00:17:13,449
That's a press release,
not a story.
426
00:17:14,475 --> 00:17:16,431
All right.
What else you got?
427
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:19,538
I gotta get off
the Not Satisfactory board.
428
00:17:20,856 --> 00:17:21,832
The what?
429
00:17:23,317 --> 00:17:26,170
What you just said.
The N.S. board.
430
00:17:27,154 --> 00:17:28,819
Oh! No, no, no.
431
00:17:28,823 --> 00:17:32,447
Those are the initials
of that rookie in Toledo.
432
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,804
You know,
the one Dan thinks is a jerk.
433
00:17:35,913 --> 00:17:37,244
You probably know him.
434
00:17:37,248 --> 00:17:38,662
Ned Sampson?
435
00:17:40,001 --> 00:17:40,998
No. No, no.
436
00:17:41,002 --> 00:17:43,500
I... I don't hate anybody,
437
00:17:43,504 --> 00:17:47,671
I just put up the NS board
after Ned beat us
438
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:49,923
at the Ohio Journalism awards
439
00:17:49,927 --> 00:17:54,386
and Marv sent me a pic
with a snotty little caption
440
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:56,471
about how their budget
is half ours,
441
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:58,682
and, I mean, you know what?
442
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:01,205
that ex-TP salesman.
443
00:18:04,525 --> 00:18:06,231
-Hey, for Mare?
-Yeah.
444
00:18:06,235 --> 00:18:07,899
Thanks so much.
445
00:18:07,903 --> 00:18:10,193
Actually, hey, um...
446
00:18:10,197 --> 00:18:11,528
You haven't heard of any
447
00:18:11,532 --> 00:18:13,676
interesting local stories,
have you?
448
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,699
Mmm...
449
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:18,660
Well, my brother got free
tickets to the World Series.
450
00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:19,828
Okay.
451
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,560
He's the first high school
pitcher with a robotic hand.
452
00:18:24,545 --> 00:18:26,168
What we're missing is a motive.
453
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:28,587
Right? All these country club
dentists and car dealers,
454
00:18:28,591 --> 00:18:30,547
they don't murder someone
for no reason.
455
00:18:30,551 --> 00:18:32,883
So, what do we know
about this guy?
456
00:18:32,887 --> 00:18:33,850
He was a career waiter,
457
00:18:33,854 --> 00:18:36,011
worked at the Glass Club
for like 100 years.
458
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,512
Never married, no kids.
459
00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:39,640
-Maybe he was depressed.
-I like that.
460
00:18:39,644 --> 00:18:42,059
No, well, maybe work is enough
for some people.
461
00:18:42,063 --> 00:18:44,978
Or maybe
he wasn't single by choice.
462
00:18:44,982 --> 00:18:47,397
He longed to meet
his perfect person,
463
00:18:47,401 --> 00:18:49,775
but he met
a slab of concrete first.
464
00:18:49,779 --> 00:18:51,568
Maybe he thought he found
the right person,
465
00:18:51,572 --> 00:18:54,363
but he was wrong,
and she had all kinds of issues.
466
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,365
Or maybe he met the right person,
467
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:57,741
but the circumstances were weird,
468
00:18:57,745 --> 00:18:59,451
and they couldn't acknowledge it.
469
00:18:59,455 --> 00:19:01,411
He's lucky he had a job
that he liked.
470
00:19:01,415 --> 00:19:02,746
Work is what gives meaning
471
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,164
-to a man's life.
-I don't know, I mean,
472
00:19:04,168 --> 00:19:06,917
I'm not sure a job is more
important than a person.
473
00:19:06,921 --> 00:19:09,252
Like, I don't think a job
can make me happier
474
00:19:09,256 --> 00:19:10,441
than a person could.
475
00:19:13,594 --> 00:19:14,391
What?
476
00:19:14,395 --> 00:19:16,468
You're the biggest
workaholic here.
477
00:19:16,472 --> 00:19:18,762
You threw
a 125th anniversary party,
478
00:19:18,766 --> 00:19:20,701
for the job you're in love with.
479
00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:24,309
All right.
480
00:19:24,313 --> 00:19:26,103
What are we doing?
481
00:19:26,107 --> 00:19:28,959
-Working.
-Maybe the guy just fell off a roof?
482
00:19:30,111 --> 00:19:31,629
-I gotta go.
-Okay.
483
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:37,531
Mare would've figured
this out by now.
484
00:19:37,535 --> 00:19:38,719
We need her back.
485
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,743
Hey, uh, check your inbox.
486
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:44,371
I sent you some ideas.
There's a good one
487
00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:47,165
about shrinkflation
in chocolate brands.
488
00:19:47,169 --> 00:19:48,854
They don't use cacao anymore.
489
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,803
So good news.
Dan liked the idea.
490
00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:01,304
Yes!
491
00:20:01,308 --> 00:20:03,056
Congrats! I knew it,
492
00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:04,349
I knew a superstar like you
493
00:20:04,353 --> 00:20:06,268
would not be on the NS board
for long.
494
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:07,310
That's amazing.
495
00:20:07,314 --> 00:20:08,979
Yeah, I was a little nervous.
496
00:20:08,983 --> 00:20:09,679
It was a tough room.
497
00:20:09,683 --> 00:20:11,565
Okay, that one's hard to beat.
498
00:20:11,569 --> 00:20:14,317
Anyone else? Anyone?
499
00:20:14,321 --> 00:20:16,027
Anybody else?
500
00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:17,049
Mare, how about you?
501
00:20:18,576 --> 00:20:22,367
Um, yeah, the robotics team
at Roger Bacon High
502
00:20:22,371 --> 00:20:25,412
made a bionic hand
for a disabled pitcher.
503
00:20:25,416 --> 00:20:28,915
Now, he's starting and has
a fastball that can touch 93.
504
00:20:30,171 --> 00:20:31,460
Okay.
505
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,587
-Wow.
-Let's go, Mare.
506
00:20:33,591 --> 00:20:34,880
-Yeah.
-Wow.
507
00:20:34,884 --> 00:20:36,339
-Oh, my God.
-Gimme, gimme.
508
00:20:36,343 --> 00:20:39,801
-Cool.
-Bionic baseball, let's go.
509
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:42,179
-All right.
-That's a good one, Mare.
510
00:20:42,183 --> 00:20:43,680
-Nice.
-Thanks.
511
00:20:43,684 --> 00:20:44,765
-Nice one.
-Home run.
512
00:20:44,769 --> 00:20:46,016
Okay.
513
00:20:46,020 --> 00:20:47,267
So was it satisfying?
514
00:20:47,271 --> 00:20:48,685
Extremely.
515
00:20:48,689 --> 00:20:50,812
Well, I'm glad I could help.
516
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,898
Yeah, Ned's ideas
were honestly good,
517
00:20:52,902 --> 00:20:56,547
but it's not every day
a bionic hand falls in your lap.
518
00:20:57,782 --> 00:20:59,070
Okay, so gr...
519
00:20:59,074 --> 00:21:01,656
-Hey.
-Oh, good, you're here.
520
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,201
All right. So I spoke
with a guy named Parsins,
521
00:21:04,205 --> 00:21:05,660
he runs the rooftop restaurant.
522
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:06,995
He's a little condescending,
523
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,830
but he told me
where all the VIP's sit.
524
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,707
These VIP's are the richest
in the club.
525
00:21:10,711 --> 00:21:12,250
That means
they spend the most money,
526
00:21:12,254 --> 00:21:14,836
and they always sit
in Desmond Sandoval's section.
527
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,590
Therefore, all the other waiters
are jealous of his tips,
528
00:21:18,594 --> 00:21:21,551
and that there, people,
is a motive.
529
00:21:21,555 --> 00:21:23,678
Ned, you're not going
to believe this.
530
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:26,139
-I've got a motive.
-Detrick just told us.
531
00:21:26,143 --> 00:21:27,390
What?
532
00:21:27,394 --> 00:21:29,017
You found out
about the unionizing?
533
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:31,394
Damn, I was so proud of myself.
534
00:21:31,398 --> 00:21:34,001
What... What unionizing?
535
00:21:35,069 --> 00:21:36,566
This photograph
536
00:21:36,570 --> 00:21:38,714
is from the waiter's
Facebook page.
537
00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:41,571
Take a look at that tattoo.
538
00:21:41,575 --> 00:21:42,906
It's a union tattoo.
539
00:21:42,910 --> 00:21:44,658
He was trying to unionize
the wait staff
540
00:21:44,662 --> 00:21:46,535
and the restaurant
doesn't want that.
541
00:21:46,539 --> 00:21:48,161
That's another motive.
542
00:21:48,165 --> 00:21:49,955
That means this could
actually be murder.
543
00:21:49,959 --> 00:21:51,915
-Yes.
-With the Glass Club behind it.
544
00:21:51,919 --> 00:21:54,292
That means...
That means I'm right.
545
00:21:54,296 --> 00:21:56,002
-Yeah.
-Right? I have good instincts.
546
00:21:56,006 --> 00:21:57,629
-Yeah.
-It's murder, baby.
547
00:21:57,633 --> 00:21:59,422
-It's murder.
-It's murder, baby!
548
00:21:59,426 --> 00:22:02,425
Murder. Murder. Murder.
549
00:22:02,429 --> 00:22:03,969
Murder.
550
00:22:03,973 --> 00:22:05,846
โช Murder, murder, murder! โช
551
00:22:10,771 --> 00:22:12,769
I don't trust Barry anymore.
552
00:22:12,773 --> 00:22:14,813
I think he's working for Ned.
553
00:22:14,817 --> 00:22:19,776
Great management is all about
rooting out treachery.
554
00:22:19,780 --> 00:22:23,280
Test him out,
and see if he will betray me.
555
00:22:23,284 --> 00:22:24,656
-Okay?
-Okay.
556
00:22:24,660 --> 00:22:28,577
{\an8}Joseph Stalin was able
to get one underling
557
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:33,248
{\an8}to trick another underling
into disloyalty.
558
00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:36,167
{\an8}To save time,
I'm going to do two at once.
559
00:22:36,171 --> 00:22:37,544
{\an8}You know the plan?
560
00:22:37,548 --> 00:22:40,922
{\an8}Test him out
and see if he will betray me.
561
00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:42,987
{\an8}-Can we talk confidentially?
-Mm.
562
00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:45,010
{\an8}You know,
563
00:22:45,014 --> 00:22:47,095
{\an8}I actually wanted to talk
confidentially with you.
564
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:49,785
{\an8}That's so funny.
565
00:22:51,145 --> 00:22:55,145
{\an8}I really don't think
I can trust Esmeralda.
566
00:22:55,149 --> 00:22:56,396
{\an8}Talk more about that.
567
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:57,647
{\an8}Can you trust Esmeralda?
568
00:22:57,651 --> 00:22:58,732
{\an8}Not one little bit.
569
00:22:58,736 --> 00:23:00,483
{\an8}What should we do about it?
570
00:23:00,487 --> 00:23:02,986
{\an8}Would you like to betray her?
571
00:23:02,990 --> 00:23:04,821
{\an8}As much as you probably would.
572
00:23:04,825 --> 00:23:06,323
{\an8}She said you would say that.
573
00:23:06,327 --> 00:23:07,803
{\an8}She told me the same thing.
574
00:23:08,495 --> 00:23:09,743
{\an8}She stinks, man.
575
00:23:09,747 --> 00:23:12,203
{\an8}They both
disappointed me greatly,
576
00:23:12,207 --> 00:23:15,040
{\an8}and they exceeded
my expectations.
577
00:23:15,044 --> 00:23:17,375
{\an8}I don't know if I can trust them,
578
00:23:17,379 --> 00:23:19,148
{\an8}or they're going to kill me.
39636
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.