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1
00:00:02,269 --> 00:00:04,370
- [Laughing]
- ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
2
00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:08,139
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
3
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,141
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
4
00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:16,381
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
5
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:18,617
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
6
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,620
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
7
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,667
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
8
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,669
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
9
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,671
- ♪ TAKE IT FROM MEIT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪
- HI-YAH!
10
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,661
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
11
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:31,841
♪ AND HOW WOULD YA... HOW
WOULD YA... HOW WOULD YA F... ♪
12
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,843
♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
13
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,035
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
14
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:39,571
[Echoing] ♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS
SAFE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ♪
15
00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:43,107
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
16
00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:45,243
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
17
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:48,379
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
18
00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:51,416
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
19
00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:55,754
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
20
00:00:55,822 --> 00:01:00,525
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
21
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:04,530
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
22
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,531
[Turntable Scratching]
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
23
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,034
[Laughing]
24
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:15,574
[Crowd Booing] [Sportscaster]
RONNIE THOMAS MISSES AGAIN!
25
00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:20,945
I'M TRYING TO REMEMBER THE LAST
TIME HE WAS THIS OFF IN A BIG GAME.
26
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,448
[Sportscaster #2] HE
LOOKS DISTRACTED, MARV.
27
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:26,028
HEY, THOMAS. YOU
STINK, MAN! HEY, THOMAS.
28
00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:28,820
YOU COULDN'T DRIVE
ON MISS DAISY, A'IGHT.
29
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:32,391
HEY, THOMAS. YOU COULDN'T
SHOOT IF YOU HAD AN AK-47.
30
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:35,260
HELL, MAN. HEY, THOMAS. YOU
BEEN ON THE BENCH SO LONG,
31
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:38,930
YOUR LITTLE BOY WAS BORN
WITH SPLINTERS IN HIS BUTT!
32
00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:41,878
[Sportscaster #2] NEW YORK
TAKES A TIME-OUT. [Horn Blows]
33
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:48,740
OH, MAN. H-HEY, GUYS,
LOOK. I'M SORRY. ALL RIGHT?
34
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:51,109
JUST-JUST HAND ME THE
BALL. I'LL GET HOT. REALLY.
35
00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:55,213
HOT? HOT? HEY, HALLE BERRY
NAKED COULDN'T GET YOU HOT, MAN.
36
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:59,618
HEY, YOU COULDN'T SCORE IF YOU WENT
ON A DATE WITH HEIDI FLEISS, ALL RIGHT?
37
00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:02,398
GET OUT A HERE, YA BUM! HE'S
GETTING TO YOUR HEAD, MAN!
38
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:05,356
N-N-N-NO, HE ISN'T. I
CAN BLOCK IT OUT, MAN.
39
00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:08,593
LISTEN, BROTHER, YOU
DON'T BOTHER ME, OKAY?
40
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:11,363
WHY SHOULD I BOTHER YOU, IF
LOSING DOESN'T BOTHER YOU?
41
00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:13,698
HEY, MAYBE THEY COULD TRADE
YOU FOR SOMETHING USEFUL,
42
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,579
SOMETHING LIKE-LIKE...
LIKE A DUST MOP, ALL RIGHT?
43
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:20,172
I MEAN, I BET EVEN YOUR CAT
COUGHS UP AIR BALLS, ALL RIGHT?
44
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,741
ALL RIGHT, BUDDY. ALL
RIGHT, MAN, COME ON. LET'S GO!
45
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,776
LET'S GO, MAN!
LET'S GO! HEY, SEC...
46
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,823
SEC-SECURITY! SECURITY!
YOU WANT TO DO IT!
47
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,892
SOMEBODY ARREST THIS MAN FOR
IMPERSONATING A BASKETBALL PLAYER.
48
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:32,817
COME ON, RONNIE! TAKE IT
OUT ON THE HOOP, MAN. GOD.
49
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:36,054
TAKE A SHOWER, AND
FORGET ABOUT IT, MAN.
50
00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:38,300
TRY TO CONCENTRATE
ON TOMORROW'S GAME.
51
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,324
YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
52
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,096
[Exhales]
53
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,322
HEY, MAN! YOU GOT SO
MANY PIMPLES ON YOUR BUTT,
54
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:03,215
I THOUGHT I WAS LOOKIN' AT
EDWARD JAMES OLMOS! [Howling Cry]
55
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:10,188
OH, HONEY. THEY WOULDN'T BE
IN THE PLAY-OFFS WITHOUT YOU.
56
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:12,657
[Sobs] I KEEP SEEING
HIS FACE. SHHH.
57
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:15,994
IT'S ALL OVER NOW. THE
POLICE TOOK HIM AWAY.
58
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:18,363
REALLY? REALLY.
59
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:22,567
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN PLAY
TOMORROW. OH, YES YOU CAN.
60
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:25,103
NOW LET'S JUST RELAX
AND ENJOY OUR DINNER.
61
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:28,039
I'M GONNA NEED MORE THAN
THAT. WAITER, GET ME A HIGHBALL.
62
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,674
[Screams] [Gasps]
63
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:32,822
NO-NO. NO-NO. NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. NOO!
64
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,846
IS THAT YOUR WIFE? OH!
65
00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:37,327
I THOUGHT IT WAS PATRICK
EWING WITH A WIG ON. OHH!
66
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,829
SHAVE YOUR UNDERARMS. IT LOOKS
LIKE YOU GOT BUCKWHEAT IN A HEADLOCK.
67
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,987
[Screams]
68
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,724
NO. [Grunting]
69
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:51,329
[Patients Whining] ALL
RIGHT, EVERYONE. YES.
70
00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:54,310
AS A REWARD FOR ALL OF
YOUR HARD WORK IN THERAPY...
71
00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:56,768
AND FOR THOSE OF YOU
UNDER SUICIDE WATCH,
72
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,914
NURSE RATCHED AND
I PRESENT TO YOU...
73
00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:01,973
THE LILTING, LIGHTHEARTED
MUSIC OF IRELAND.
74
00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:04,576
LET'S GIVE A HEARTY,
DEPRESSED-WARD WELCOME...
75
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:08,513
TO SEAMUS O'SHANTY O'SHAME!
76
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:12,116
WHOO! [Strums Guitar]
77
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:15,320
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU SO
MUCH. IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE THIS AFTERNOON,
78
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:18,290
SPREADIN' WARMTH AND CHEER AND
HAPPINESS THROUGHOUT THE WARD.
79
00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:23,262
AND AS WE SAY IN IRELAND, MAY YOUR DAYS
SHINE BRIGHTER THAN SINEAD O'CONNOR'S HEAD.
80
00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:28,500
AND NOW I'D LIKE TO START OFF WITH A TENDER
LITTLE BALLAD, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS.
81
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:32,070
♪ FIONA LOVED A MAN ♪
82
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:35,206
♪ NAMED REESE ♪
83
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:38,076
♪ AND, OH, REESE HE WAS OFF ♪
84
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:41,346
♪ ON A JOURNEY OF PEACE ♪
85
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:44,449
♪ AND THE DAY HE RETURNED ♪
86
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:47,519
♪ SHE MET HIM AT DAWN ♪
87
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:49,921
♪ SHE RAN INTO HIS ARMS ♪
88
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,491
♪ BUT HIS ARMS WERE GONE ♪
89
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:55,638
♪ BECAUSE THE I.R.A. HAD
PUT A PIPE BOMB IN HIS BED ♪
90
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:57,740
♪ BLEW OFF EVERYTHING
BUT HIS FREAKING HEAD ♪
91
00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:00,331
♪ AND HE HAD NO HAIR AND
HE HAD HALF OF A FACE ♪
92
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,001
♪ AND HIS LIPS WERE
SCATTERED ALL OVER THE PLACE ♪
93
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:05,437
♪ AND NOW SHE'S OUT LOOKIN' ♪
94
00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:09,240
♪ FOR REESE'S PIECES ♪♪
THAT'S IT.
95
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,576
MR. O'SHAME, YOU ARE
UNDOING ALL OF OUR WORK!
96
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:14,279
IF WE WANTED THIS WE WOULD
HAVE GOTTEN JUDAS PRIEST.
97
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,914
NOW SING A... A-A-A-A LOVE
BALLAD OR SOMETHING.
98
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:20,718
OHH, A LOVE BALLAD. A ROMANTIC
LILTIN' LITTLE BALLAD. OH, OKAY THEN.
99
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:25,390
ALL RIGHTY, HERE'S ONE CALLED "THE BALLAD
OF MOLLY McBRIDE," AND IT GOES LIKE THIS.
100
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:30,862
♪ MOLLY McBRIDE WAS A BARMAID ♪
101
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:36,200
♪ AND THE FAIREST
LASS IN ALL THE LAND ♪
102
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:39,170
♪ UNTIL ONE DAY IN THE KITCHEN ♪
103
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:41,740
♪ SHE SLIPPED ON A TURNIP ♪
104
00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:44,342
♪ AND SHE FELL FACE
FIRST RIGHT INTO ♪
105
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:46,344
♪ A BURNING,
FLAMING KEG O' LARD ♪
106
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:49,058
♪ AND SHE WAS HORRIBLY
BLINDED ♪ [No Audible Dialogue]
107
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,616
♪ AND PERMANENTLY DISFIGURED ♪
108
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,696
♪ AND HER UNCLE MADE
HER LIVE UNDER THE PORCH ♪
109
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,732
♪ 'CAUSE SHE SCARED
AWAY TOURISTS ♪
110
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,857
♪ AND SHE MADE THE DOGS VOMIT ♪
111
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,159
♪ AND THE GOATS GIVE SOUR MILK ♪
112
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:06,864
♪ AND ALL THE NUNS DRANK
IT AND DIED ♪♪ THAT'S IT.
113
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:10,568
MY MOTHER WAS A
NUN! OH, NO, NO, NO!
114
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:12,804
SIR, YOU ARE THROUGH.
YOU'VE SUNG ENOUGH.
115
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,917
NOW, PLEASE LEAVE. SOMEBODY
ESCORT THIS MAN OUT OF HERE.
116
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:17,220
NO, NO, NO, NO! ONE MORE
SONG FOLKS. HERE WE GO.
117
00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:19,455
"COMING THROUGH THE RYE."
EVERYONE KNOWS THIS ONE.
118
00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:22,647
♪ IF A BODY FIND A BODY
COMIN' THROUGH THE RYE ♪
119
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:26,251
♪ IF A BODY FIND A DEAD BODY
COMIN' THROUGH THE RYE ♪
120
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,588
♪ LOOK AT ALL THE PUS AND
MAGGOTS COMIN' OUT OF HIS EYE ♪
121
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:32,723
♪ IF A BODY FIND A BODY COMIN'
THROUGH THE RYE ♪ NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
122
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:34,871
♪ HEY, IF A BODY FIND A
BODY COMIN' THROUGH THE... ♪
123
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,795
THIS IS HIM. THAT'S
HIM. ALL RIGHT, MAN.
124
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,842
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ADMITTED THIS
MORNING. COME ON, MR. WALKER. LET'S GO.
125
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:43,434
- OH, I'M NOT MR. WALKER.
- OKAY, MR. LEPRECHAUN. LET'S GO.
126
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:46,805
OH, I'M NOT A LEPRECHAUN EITHER. I'M THE
KING OF THE MOTH PEOPLE. WHOO-HOO-HOO!
127
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:49,074
YES. I DO LOVE THE KING
OF THE MOTH PEOPLE. OKAY.
128
00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:51,153
KING OF THE MOTH PEOPLE, WHY DON'T
YOU FLY TOWARDS THE LIGHT? COME ON.
129
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:54,713
OH. NO, NOT THE LIGHT. NO,
NO, NO. I CAN'T RESIST THE LIGHT.
130
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:56,982
OH, HELP ME. OH. OHH.
131
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:03,221
♪♪ [Hip-Hop]
132
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:06,824
[Man Rapping] ♪ SO WHAT'S YOUR
NAME, BOY A'IGHT TO CALL ME MAGNUS ♪
133
00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:10,361
♪ THE FUTURE OF RAP WHO'S BOUND TO
ATTACK US AND MOVE NICE AND LIGHT ♪
134
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,832
♪ YOU'RE TYPE AVERAGE AND I'M THE
PASSION OF THE CHRIST, MIKE SLAPPIN' ♪
135
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:16,101
♪ HANGIN' FROM THE CROSS ♪
136
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:20,405
♪ BRUSHIN' THE DUST OFF MY SHOULDERS
AND THAT'LL MAKE THE APPLAUSE, OOH ♪
137
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,674
♪ WHY THE ATTITUDE HOMEY,
YOU AIN'T HALF AS RUDE ♪
138
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:25,243
♪ JUST WATCH YOUR
LIPS, KID I'LL SHATTER YOU ♪
139
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,312
♪ BATTLE YOU I'D RATHER
HAVE A HOLE IN MY NECK ♪
140
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:30,147
♪ AND SPEND MAD DOUGH
ON BLOWIN' MY CHECK ♪
141
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:33,818
♪♪ [Ends]
142
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:39,824
[Announcer] WELCOME BACK TO THE
WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP SUMO WRESTLING.
143
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:44,028
SAY HELLO TO THE NUMBER ONE
HEAVYWEIGHT CONTENDER PERNELL DORSETT.
144
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,030
[Makes Karate Noises]
145
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,411
PERCY IN THE HOUSE, BABY!
NOW, PERCY, YOU KNOW,
146
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,368
YOU AND I GO BACK A LONG WAY,
147
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:53,182
AND THERE'S ALWAYS TALK IN THE LOCKER
ROOM AND OUT THAT YOU'RE ANOREXIC.
148
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,251
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHED
SOME LIGHT ON THIS? YEP.
149
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,620
I'M NOT ANOREXIC. I EAT
ALL THE TIME. [Falsetto Grunt]
150
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,556
WELL, COME ON, PERCY. NOW-NOW, WHAT
DID YOU EAT TODAY? WHY DO I LOOK FAT?
151
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,591
I MEAN, 'CAUSE I'M TRYIN'
TO LOSE WEIGHT, MAN.
152
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:04,593
NO, YOU DON'T NEED TO LOSE
WEIGHT. AS A MATTER OF FACT,
153
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:06,551
I HEARD YOU HAVE THE
METABOLISM OF A GERBIL.
154
00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,664
[Laughs] YOU'RE JUST
BEING NICE AREN'T YA, MAN.
155
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:10,833
I CAN STAND TO LOSE ABOUT FIVE
POUNDS. I'M HUGE. LOOK AT THIS.
156
00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:12,991
UHHH. YEAH, PERNELL.
TODAY, YOU'RE FACING A MAN...
157
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:15,126
WHO OUTWEIGHS YOU BY 470 POUNDS.
158
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:18,429
[Pernell] YAKAMOTO, YOU'RE A
PIG, AND YOU ARE GOING DOWN.
159
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,010
[Shrill Yell] WELL, ALL RIGHT
FOLKS. THERE YOU HAVE IT.
160
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,101
LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!
161
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,103
TWELVE ROUNDS OF SUMO WRESTLING.
162
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,772
I'M DAVID ALAN GRIER WITH THE
FIGHT DOCTOR, DR. FREDDY PACHECO...
163
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,361
THURSDAY NIGHT AT THE
FIGHTS. [Crowd Clamoring]
164
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,846
[David] UM, NOW THERE'S PERCY.
HE'S, UH, BEGINNING HIS WARM-UP.
165
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:38,416
YOU KNOW, HE BRINGS TO MIND
A YOUNG BEN VEREEN IN PIPPEN.
166
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:40,952
OF COURSE, THAT'S
BEFORE THE AUTO ACCIDENT.
167
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:44,655
PERCY IS ALWAYS ONE TO SHOW
THE MOVES... A REAL CROWD-PLEASER.
168
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:47,391
AND HERE'S YAKAMOTO...
169
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,827
CASTING THE SALT... THE
GREAT TRADITION OF SUMO.
170
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:53,164
AND, OF COURSE, PERCY
CASTING A SALT SUBSTITUTE,
171
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:56,334
PREFERRED BY
BULIMICS EVERYWHERE.
172
00:08:56,403 --> 00:09:00,372
OF COURSE, THE NAME "PERCY," PRONOUNCED
IN JAPANESE... [Guttural Gibberish]
173
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,785
- AND I THINK WE AREJUST ABOUT READY TO BEGIN.
- [Grunting]
174
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,391
BOTH WRESTLERS
ENTER THE CIRCLE IN A
175
00:09:04,415 --> 00:09:06,377
MATCH-UP REMINISCENT
OF DAVID AND GOLIATH...
176
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:08,746
OR SHOULD I SAY GODZILLA
AND MIGHTY MOUSE.
177
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:12,083
OWW! THAT IS
REALLY GONNA LINGER.
178
00:09:12,151 --> 00:09:14,385
AND PERCY'S DOWN!
179
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,355
UH-UH. NO, NO. [Mouthing Words]
180
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,357
NO TIME-OUTS IN HERE, BUDDY.
181
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:22,093
YOU GOTTA KEEP FIGHTING.
THIS ISN'T THE W.B.C.
182
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,096
[Thud]
183
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,233
YOU'RE DOING GREAT,
PERCY! HOW DO YOU FEEL?
184
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,276
HEY, MAN, AIN'T NOTHING
BUT A BROKEN SPLEEN,
185
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,071
BABY. I GOT HIM RIGHT
WHERE I WANT HIM.
186
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:40,044
THAT THE BEST YOU CAN
DO? YOU FIGHT LIKE YOKO ONO!
187
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,313
[Bellows]
188
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:48,219
[Growling Yell]
[Coughs, Squeals]
189
00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:50,733
OUCH! NOW, THAT'S
REALLY GOTTA HURT. PERCY?
190
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,935
PERCY, ARE YOU UNDER THERE?
TALK TO ME, PERCY. COME ON, MAN.
191
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,560
MAN, THIS AIN'T NO THING,
BUT A CHICKEN WING, BABY.
192
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,662
I CAN STILL TAKE THIS BOY.
YOU AIN'T NOTHING, MAN.
193
00:09:57,731 --> 00:10:00,042
YOU DON'T WANT ME, BIG BOY.
YOU DON'T WANT ME. [Growls]
194
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:02,745
WELL, THAT'S ABOUT ALL THE
TIME WE HAVE FOR TODAY, FOLKS.
195
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:06,270
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT
WEEK! [Gong Reverberates]
196
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:13,044
BACHELOR NUMBER ONE, WHERE
WOULD YOU TAKE ME ON OUR DATE?
197
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,612
I...
198
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:17,381
[Uses Lower Voice] I WOULD
TAKE YOU TO TIFFANY'S,
199
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:21,886
WHERE YOU COULD SPEND UP TO
AND INCLUDING TWO DOLLARS. YEAH.
200
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:25,290
[Boy] DERONDA, ARE YOU UP THERE?
201
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:28,092
IT'S ME, POOKIE.
202
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:32,731
WHAT'S THE PASSWORD? UM,
DERONDA HIGHTOWER IS SO BEAUTIFUL,
203
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,867
UM, SHE MAKE HALLE BERRY
LOOK LIKE A DOO-DOO HEAD.
204
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:38,937
YEAH, OKAY, YOU CAN COME
IN. WE'RE GONNA PLAY HOUSE.
205
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:41,005
WHY CAN'T WE PLAY POST OFFICE?
206
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:45,109
'CAUSE I'M TIRED OF YOU
ALL THE TIME SHOOTIN' AT ME.
207
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:48,212
OKAY. LET'S PLAY
HOUSE. OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
208
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:50,693
NO, YOU DON'T. WE
GOTTA GET MARRIED FIRST.
209
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:53,784
YOU GOTTA BUY THE COW BEFORE
YOU GET A FREE MILK SHAKE.
210
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:55,787
OKAY.
211
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:59,223
'KAY, DO YOU TAKE ME TO BE
YOUR AWFUL WEDDED WIFE,
212
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:02,760
AS LONG AS YOUR BUTT
SHALL LIVE? UH-HUH.
213
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,762
[Together] MARRY, MARRY, MARRY!
214
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:09,767
'KAY, NOW WE HAVE A BABY. WE CAN'T HAVE
NO BABIES IF WE DON'T DO THE "'CEPTION."
215
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:12,871
I DON'T WANNA DO THE 'CEPTION!
216
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:16,775
THEN WHAT DID I MARRY YOU
FOR? YOU GOTTA DO THE 'CEPTION!
217
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:20,678
BUT IT'S MY TIME!
I'M "MINISCRATING"!
218
00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:25,416
YOU SAY THAT EVERY
NIGHT! OKAY, JUST HURRY.
219
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:30,154
OOH, BABY, BABY,
BABY. OOH, OOH, OOH.
220
00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:33,090
BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY.
OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH.
221
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,519
OH, HAROLD, YOU'RE THE KING.
222
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:40,898
OH, GREAT! ANOTHER
MOUTH TO FEED.
223
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:44,903
I THOUGHT YOU WAS
WEARING A "DIAGRAM." WELL, UH,
224
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,182
I THOUGHT YOU WAS
WEARING A "CONDOMINIUM."
225
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:50,774
[Scoffs] IT'S HARD ENOUGH OUT HERE
WITH WHAT THE MAN LETS ME EARN.
226
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:55,847
MY MAMA TOLD ME NOT TO MARRY
A MAN WITH NO "DAMNBITION."
227
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:59,249
[Imitates Baby's Cries]
THE BABY IS BORN.
228
00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:01,252
AND HE LOOKS
JUST LIKE HIS DADDY.
229
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,221
YEAH, TOOTHLESS AND BROKE.
230
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:08,326
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
CUT IT OFF! I'M GOING OUT!
231
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:12,563
[Departing Footsteps] WELL, DON'T LET
THE DOORKNOB HIT YOU IN THE BOOTY!
232
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:17,268
AND IF YOU COME BACK AFTER MIDNIGHT,
YOU'RE GONNA SLEEP ON THE COUCH.
233
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:20,604
OH, I HAD TO COME BACK. I DON'T
LIKE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH.
234
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:23,741
MAKE MY BACK HURT. OKAY.
235
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:25,988
THEN WE GOT TO PLAY
WHAT I WANNA PLAY.
236
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:28,579
DO YOU WANNA PLAY
THE 'CEPTION? NO!
237
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,982
I WANNA PLAY DOCTOR.
YOU BE THE DOCTOR.
238
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,128
OKAY, I'LL BE THE DOCTOR. OH!
239
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,386
OH, DOCTOR. DOCTOR.
240
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,622
MY TUMMY HURTS, AND I'M SICK.
241
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:41,058
SOUNDS LIKE A VERY
CRITICAL CONDITION YOU ARE IN.
242
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:43,227
DO YOU HAVE ANY
HEALTH INSURANCE?
243
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:46,330
- NO.
- YOUR ASS DEAD.
244
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,373
♪♪ [Hip-Hop Instrumental]
245
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,945
♪♪ [Continues]
246
00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:32,877
♪♪ [Ends]
247
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,849
PREVIOUSLY ON IN LIVING COLOR.
248
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:41,686
[Woman's Voice] IT'S ALL RIGHT, LITTLE
WANDA, I'M GOING TO FIND YOUR DADDY.
249
00:13:41,755 --> 00:13:44,823
- ♪♪ [Bluesy Sax Riff] - [Man's
Voice] IT WAS ANOTHER LATE NIGHT,
250
00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:48,860
AND I WAS ALONE IN MY OFFICE WITH MY
ONLY TRUE FRIEND IN THE WORLD... JACK.
251
00:13:51,532 --> 00:13:53,899
I HADN'T HAD A CASE
IN OVER THREE MONTHS,
252
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,100
BUT, THEN, SHE WALKED IN.
253
00:13:59,473 --> 00:14:03,474
HEY! FOR REAL THOUGH.
254
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,477
SHE HAD A BODY THAT
COULD STOP A TRUCK...
255
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,780
AND A FACE THAT APPARENTLY HAD.
256
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:13,818
EXCUSE ME, I NEED A
PRIVATE DICK. MA'AM?
257
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:17,389
- YOU SEE, I'M IN TROUBLE.
- YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT,
MA'AM.
258
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:19,957
THERE'S A LEASH
LAW IN THIS TOWN. OH.
259
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:23,561
YOU SO CRAZY. NO, LOOK.
260
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:26,364
I'M TRYING TO FIND THE
FATHER OF MY LITTLE BABY HERE.
261
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,144
COULD YOU GIVE ME A
DESCRIPTION OF THE MAN?
262
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:30,446
OH, I DON'T REMEMBER HOW
HE WAS. ALL I REMEMBER IS...
263
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,137
THE NAKED BOOTY
JUMPIN' OUT MY WINDOW.
264
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:36,874
NAKED BOOTY? MMM, I
SEE THE RESEMBLANCE.
265
00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:39,410
ANYWAY...
266
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,980
BUT WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO
ACHIEVE BY FINDING THIS CULPRIT?
267
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,182
WELL, YOU KNOW, SEE, I
DON'T WANT WANDA JUNIOR,
268
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:46,984
YOU KNOW, TO GROW
UP LIKE I HAD DID.
269
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:49,987
'CAUSE I DON'T THINK SHE SHOULD DO
THAT IN THIS WORLD THE WAY IT IS NOW.
270
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:54,358
'CAUSE ALL I HAD TO DO WAS
JUST SURVIVE ON MY GOOD LOOKS.
271
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,828
I DON'T THINK SHE'S
GONNA HAVE THAT PROBLEM.
272
00:14:56,897 --> 00:15:00,765
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, MISTER. I'D JUST
LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR TAKING MY CASE.
273
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:03,100
AND IF YOU EVER NEED TO
FIND ME, YOU JUST WHISTLE.
274
00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:05,214
- YOU KNOW HOW TO WHISTLE,
DON'T YOU?
- SURE, I DO.
275
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,782
ALL RIGHT. [Blows
Silent Dog Whistle]
276
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,874
[Dog-like Howl]
277
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,812
THIS DETECTIVE GAME
IS AN UGLY BUSINESS,
278
00:15:13,881 --> 00:15:15,814
AND IT JUST GOT UGLIER.
279
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,820
HEY, THANKS FOR WATCHING.
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK ON...
280
00:15:21,889 --> 00:15:24,355
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
281
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:28,560
♪♪ [Theme]
282
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:14,239
♪♪ [Continues]
23247
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