All language subtitles for Gordon Gino And Fred Road Trip S02E00 Three Unwise Men

(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) This is the transport.

Yes.

What do you think?

I feel bad because I've eaten camel before

How do you cook a camel braise it?

Ah, it's like a long conversation away from

the camels But they're all getting up now,

how are we gonna get up there?

I know Can you take a picture of

our street say happy Christmas, happy Christmas Junior

de Campo fed siri X and I are

a festive culinary adventure Come to Jerusalem to

celebrate Christmas with me really Thanks to a

classic de Campo cockup, we're in Morocco I

like it not the most obvious choice for

a Christmas getaway.

It's a cobra I'm the donkey on the

left and the car on the right But

as always we'll be seeking out the very

best ingredients as I will It's cool Jim

the warmest hospitality Can you make 5,000

of those and you'll tie cheer you have

to be kidding me.

Merry Christmas Three amigos Three big egos I

hate Turkey what you're not cooking it properly

back in the saddle again proper Would

you like to come to Jerusalem for Christmas

great idea Gino maybe the land of the

three kings So why on earth are we

in the middle of Morocco?

Oh, come on.

I got good deals on a ticket.

What a donut Why don't you just embrace

the Christmas in Morocco Bane, how'd you celebrate

Christmas in Morocco we don't celebrate Christmas Yeah,

what's wrong with that a lot's wrong with

it Oh, this one is kicking Listen, we

are in Morocco here.

The food is fantastic.

We gonna embrace the culture, right?

It's gonna be amazing Thanks to Gino our

journey starts in the foothills of the Atlas

Mountains We're heading north through the Agafe desert

to Morocco's cultural capital Marrakech home to the

famous Medina It's very uncomfortable Uncomfortable Fancy

Christmas in Jerusalem ready Listen guys Christmas is

not about where you are Christmas is about

the people you are with and I love

the fact that I'm with you to a

Christmas These ships of the desert can walk

all day without stopping us not so much

You know, I'm surprised you haven't moon yet

I'll tell you what my testicles are killing

me Have you ever got lost in the

desert brain with the camel?

No, I've never I just let you take

the road And they always get me back

home My legs are killing me.

Do you know how much further to go?

Seriously?

I need a week we can stop somewhere

Where are we going?

We're close to the village Arab and

Berber tribes people have been living in the

Agafe desert for thousands of years We'll never

get to Marrakech before nightfall Salam alaikum, we

can only hope there's some room at the

inn Gina well, I've trapped one of my

balls.

We're going down.

We got this is the worst bit for

me Oh Salam

alaikum.

Bonjour ma'am.

May we take our yeah, you can take

the turban off Marhaba, Marhaba Welcome.

Welcome.

Thank you.

We're honored to be here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

How old is the house?

More than a hundred hundred years.

He was born in this house and his

father's and grandfather was were living in Who

is the best cook here?

No, not you we're talking about the family.

So the best is his mother little lady.

Do you cook ask her if she cooks?

Nothing Mr. Bush my other father is inviting

you warmly to stay for dinner tonight and

stay the whole night with us Thank you

to pay him back.

It'd be nice to cook and help with

dinner.

Where are we sleeping, please?

That's a good question because maybe you need

to sort out a tent outside So, this

is the kitchen this is the kitchen is

there like a like a ladder gotcha Gordon

That's the head of the other ship, that's

who you're having tonight Oh

So hard How'd you put these poles up

some cumin tomatoes my contribution to dinner is

a local fish tilapia cooked with ingredients I've

raided from the ladder.

So what do you put in lemon?

It's a preserved lemon.

Yeah, some rosemary some garlic Yeah, just inside

my daughter She's the same age seven years

old and she already cooks she wants you

to teach her Okay, so we can do

this together then.

Yeah, we want to put all the Can

I talk?

What do you need to make all this

noise?

I'm chopping darling.

What's wrong?

We need to put all the Almonds, we

need to put all the dry fruits in

there and then we mix it and we

make it into a sweet Call all them

up.

I've never done anything like this in my

life You're up Not great So this fish

it's gonna be grilled.

I'm just worried.

That's not gonna feed us all is really

meat.

What's gonna show?

I love Fatima.

Yeah, she has prepared something Oh That's the

head of the sheep Has he got the

brains in there?

She everything been here.

It makes you realize that we have far

too many things in life Can she say

brava?

Willy brava brava People could very happily live

in a place like this in this desert

where there is Nothing if your family are

together Everybody's happy a wash.

See Did you see any eggs?

I heard a chicken She hides her eggs

She hides her eggs that oh my goodness

me you got it.

Yeah in the wardrobe Uh messy if you

glaze this it's gonna come out so beautiful,

but the problem is the flower that they

use is important a Little bit of oil

on the boat just not not to stick.

How do we turn the gas up?

What's that?

The pool of the goats go shit.

We put the goat poo in there as

well.

And it's natural It's giving a good taste.

Is it?

Okay Yeah, some food The shit is in

the what what are you doing?

This is the old style of living, you

know in this desert and they're happy.

It's pretty remarkable We're gonna eat together there

around that very fire.

I mean This is proper hospitality Wow This

looks beautiful.

Oh, grazie.

Fantastic.

Thank you.

This is a wonderful treat back home We'll

be getting ready with turkeys and beef and

this is completely different.

Mr. La Rossi is gonna serve us now

Look at the children's faces if I give

you this to my kids, they will never

talk to me again.

Trust me It is delicious.

It's important for the guests to eat the

eyeballs here as a tradition, right?

Oh, really?

This is gonna be like a bush Tucker

trial If for me with the eye for

the guest You have the second eye Yeah,

what did he get the dick It's the

head, okay, you don't have that in the

head unless you're a dickhead Merci beaucoup.

Do we say grace?

We say bismillah bismillah bismillah.

Thank you I've got a I'm gonna cheat

the sheep's heads delicious Really good.

Oh How's the eyeball It's cool He's

suggesting that tomorrow you will go to the

Medina Certain cooker he's called Hajj Mustafa.

He's doing this the mesh week.

Hi, Mustafa Can I ask granddad?

How was the fish?

Number one number one.

Thank you She'll ever the sweet bread You

like it one.

Oh brava brava brava So every Christmas a

new year was clink glasses and go cheers

salute Merry Christmas Merry Christmas This

is where we're gonna sleep Seriously, we're gonna

sleep.

This is all over man.

What is this bag?

It's Christmas decoration All the Christmas decoration.

So then it looks like it's Christmas.

We're going now.

I need to go for a week and

I'm getting changed What kind of decoration did

you have golden when you were at home

when you were a boy chocolate centers and

gingerbread man Have

to be kidding me he's warm and it's

cozy.

I don't care Shoes Come on here.

Oh, he's got my shoulders thing on the

top of the tree.

Are you kidding me?

Say oh this is gonna look beautiful golden

or the eyeball is repeating on me.

Yeah, don't you dare fart?

I've got the eyeballs coming out.

You keep down that fucking onesie.

Don't you dare get him down get him

down Look guys, oh there is a star

as well.

Look These people they may not celebrate Christmas,

but we definitely bought Christmas to Morocco.

Hi, buddy.

I Used to love it when it's snowing

at Christmas because that really confirmed that father

Christmas was literally on route Gordon can have

some of the quilt You seriously only had

one flipping job to do fucking useless Jesus

we always need a Jesus.

It wouldn't be Christmas without Jesus with it

See guys, they may be no celebrating Christmas

But we are going to decorate the van

here like we did yesterday in the time,

you know My sock is always full of

surprises After debacle in the desert,

thank God we've been reunited with that trusty

camper van But you're supposed to navigate it

we're heading into Marrakech's old town or Medina

and trying to find the main square Jamal

Al Fana, you know where we're going, right?

You're supposed to be on the sat now

all in Arabic, I have no idea what

this thing says How am I gonna navigate

if he says Arab Arabic thing stop whinging

is Christmas My friend piano piano, oh my

lord shit Go go go go go.

Can you focus on stay in the middle

of the road?

I'm trying to the boys are on the

inside I'm feeling anxious Man the donkey on

the left and the car on the right

There's no structure what is called Jamal Al

Fana Jamal Al Fana Jamal Al Fana my

friend Jamal Al Fana Jamal Al Fana Jamal

Al Fana This is straight straight, right?

This looks like it over here.

Oh This must be this one.

Look at that It's like a festival of

colors.

This is amazing.

Oh, look at the color of the food.

Can we park this van?

I want to go and walk now Oh

You know this place Jamal and Fana, yes,

it used to be the place where public

executions took place what yeah The name of

the place means the assembly of the dead.

They used to chop all the heads here

It's not my first time in Morocco nothing

over this country years ago But I think

the boys are in for a shock because

it is pandemonium.

You've got to be on your toes Gina

is not fast-thinking and Fred.

Well, god bless him.

You know, he's not the sharpest tool in

the box snakes Ask if they bite Yeah,

they bite Bites in his head.

Yeah, why would you do that?

It's almost like a performing zoo, but it's

their culture.

It's how they survive Crazy.

Oh shit.

You just got a bite Ask if the

poison that is very dangerous if I pop

out I eat from the desert No way

no way no, come on, no way am

I doing that?

What's going on What's that what's that what's

that?

Oh fuck that It's a cobra Oh

my god, there he goes again Fred dies

into things without thinking finally, I think Fred's

got balls I was petrified Petrified but at

the end of the day somebody's got to

step up and show these two clowns how

it's done Was fucking shitting myself shitting myself

Is he me or this place is full

of knick-knack it's incredible it's almost like

walking through a postcard maybe My slightly unhinged

friends and I have made it to Marrakech

the city that Churchill described as the Paris

of the Sahara Of course, Gina wants to

rock the cath bar.

Should we do some shopping?

What are you looking for?

I want to get some you know, those

belly dancer costume for my wife No, I

cannot Hey, that's what you wanted Once you

just model for me for a sec I

like it.

Hello.

Come here.

We thought 800 800 tell him I get

another wife I'm gonna put Gino inside Hope

you pop out.

I'll pick a man Look at the magic

carpet.

Oh, look at this This is for pictures

the real Moroccan spices we have inside please

I like to show you can you have

seat a little bit Just a minute, please

But it's like being in a doctor's place

because you are in the Berber pharmacy.

Have you got something for?

We have Moroccan Viagra.

Oh Jesus.

I need the Christmas present for my wife.

I give you a Viagra for ladies.

Okay How does it work like tea, okay,

if we want this and for you This

is this is for men.

Yes So three bags of that and three

bags of that please is this female flag

is it legal Take it for you Gordon.

Don't worry.

That's a grassy guy.

What kind of Christmas is this spice up

your Christmas?

There's nothing spicy.

Mr. Boring Ramsey VOR RING supposed to be

looking for lamb Mishri lamb We're on the

hunt for the best lamb in Marrakech after

a tip-off from a host in the

desert How do we know where to find

it?

It's in Mishri, LA.

Mishri, LA.

Okay, let's go.

We have to ask for Mustafa.

Mustafa?

Mustafa Bonjour monsieur Mustafa Yes, I see look

this on there Mustafa, but you're watching Fred,

Saba Gino hello, how you doing?

So I live in a Marrakech a voodoo

goatee.

Let me show you Let me show you

royals.

You let me show you the Marrakech.

He says that we can try the royal

Mishri of Marrakech.

Yeah People come from miles around for most

of us Mishri or spit roast.

He slow roast the whole lamb and sells

up to 40 a day It's a big

community see It's 50 years since he'd been

working here doing the Mishri his father and

his grandfather.

We're here cooking Mishri How'd you get a

lamb like that?

But where where's the restaurant Mustafa?

Excuse me.

Where's can we see was a new?

Oh, oh, no, I'm full up Where Well,

I Wait, so see the food.

I'm a limo toy.

See Traditional.

Oh, yeah.

Wow Wait, it was or do food.

I won't I won't rise or do food.

It's a little more talk I'm pretty desert

to us.

We but sell songs a piece.

No song.

No spices.

Nothing.

Yes, not your element There's about 12 lamb

underneath I'm hungry.

Oh my lord.

I was the seasoning Sadie said educate me.

I love you booty.

Yes.

See Wow, oh wow, don't put too much

Oh my god, right that's a boom

delicious best lamb I Know Freaky Simple it's

so tender and succulents and for me you'd

serve this quality of lamb in a restaurant

I can see this on the menu the

Savoy delicious was it the grand chef?

Just we treasure of the world.

He said he's very happy to meet a

proper chef for the first time He doesn't

know what you do.

So, all right, let me pay come here.

You do us.

You play miss you Nasty, but cool.

So the money Sure, I'm about Malik.

Um, Salam.

Yes.

That has to be the best lamb.

I've ever tasted better than even Gino barn

grill.

I Am going to make a Beautiful mulled

wine.

I'll go few olives.

What about a nice stop and add with

a little bousquet.

We're just having toast That's it.

The olives on toast.

That's it.

It's tapenade on bruschetta So I'll go black

olives green olives then fresh garlic.

I put a touch of mint and Arisa

paste.

Thank you Salute Let's relax Why is it

so salty?

It's not salty at all.

That is salty as anything take the criticism

As a as a chef, you just need

to know where to draw the line.

It's salty.

I've got a present for you What is

it?

I got it in the market.

Oh For somebody who doesn't like tapenade with

bruschetta, you're doing quite well, are you?

He always complains when I cook something then

he eats everything I think he's getting all

that guy Well, he's 52.

No 53 This

is reminds me Christmas on my house argument

and then we cuddle each other Oh

Gordon be careful that red light.

It's flashing.

It goes off against five relax How lucky

are we to be here in the middle

of the saffron harvest?

Oh Saffron can only be picked for three

weeks every year Today, we're heading to the

Eureka Valley in the foothills of the Atlas

Mountains for the harvest of the world's most

expensive spice Talking About expensive spices.

Yes.

What is being your most expensive?

Christmas present that you received my one if

I tell you you won't believe me go

on My wife went to an auction for

charity.

Yes for 3,700 pounds one pubic air

from Madonna What that's disgusting it comes in

a transparent box in a nice frame It's

a lot about this long and what color

was it?

It's a little bit like your color blonde

what It's come back on again now go

back off again the light what have you

done?

I don't know I said red lights.

Come on now.

It's a stop.

Don't go in a ditch.

You're You're on the ditch Showcases stop Now

it's fucked try and turn it on right

I Just lock it See we are here

and we need to get there, right?

It's a flipping long way It's supposed to

be picking saffron and look at you too,

you're going so fast.

Oh why because I hate hanging around Well,

let's go for a light job no, no

Oh, no, my shoes are no good for

doing that.

What are you doing?

Doing the Italian jogging Oh Gordon yes, look

the man with the donkey Bonjour Salam alaikum

Allora hello Gino now see there look Can

we then we all left?

Oh, he said yes.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah, I'm gonna go there.

Okay Watch out.

There's a goat and three chickens Come

to Jerusalem to celebrate Christmas with me really

We are together right we are together that's

the most important thing is about being together

for Christmas a Sort of fun way.

I'm happy that the van broke down ready.

Why because we're never gonna speed in something

like this It's like we've been back to

up 2,000 years ago You know the

name of saffron come from the Arabic is

up around and he means yellow Some people

say it's as effective as a stimulant for

people who take who have a PhD What

people who are hyperactive like Gordon?

That's why I put saffron in my coffin.

That's why do you yes Is there any

eggs?

Look we get no taking my kids on

bikes.

Oh, yeah.

Merry Christmas.

I really I could walk faster I

Every time I move with his pin changes

No, don't don't do that because I don't

understand what he says either We're in the

foothills of Morocco's Atlas Mountains where once again,

do you know the genius has got us

lost if we managed to find?

The saffron farm.

I want to take some home and add

a twist to my Christmas stuffing Christmas day.

You have turkey.

I Hate turkey what I really dislike.

I really really don't like you're not cooking

it properly What do you mean?

I'm not cooking.

I've tried many recipe I've tried everything you

put it the streaky bacon on top and

put the batter between based this is based

Yeah, but it's bland.

He's dry And let it rest for as

long as you cook it What about over

there come on Oh Joe Oh shush la

la fam de saffron Finally That's

me, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm afraid Lynn Ducker moved to Morocco

seven years ago and started her farm.

So her saffron by hand planting eight tons

of crocus bulbs She now produces some of

the highest grade saffron in the world You

see one unique flower or can you get

saffron from different variety of flowers?

There's only one crocus flower that produces saffron

That is the most important the red threads

if you get a flower that has more

than three We all regard it as a

lucky break like a four-leaf clover.

Why are they all women in the field?

It's considered to be woman's work.

We made it more delicate.

I mean look because he's sausage fingers You

could not pick up a saffron.

The only thing you can pick up is

a fillet steak I can pick up saffron

Gina do you want this line?

So beautiful I've never picked saffron before