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1
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,189
Hold up!
2
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:19,322
Yeah, how--? Smooth as an eel.
3
00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:21,324
- Good morning.
- Morning.
4
00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:22,500
Something smells nice.
5
00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:26,808
What is this? "Polish Gals"?
Yeah.
6
00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:29,593
The best sausage sandwich
in Lucas County.
7
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:30,681
Are we celebrating?
8
00:00:30,682 --> 00:00:32,335
- Might be.
- Might be.
9
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:33,510
Something
to do with the billboard?
10
00:00:33,511 --> 00:00:34,903
Could be.
11
00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:37,558
- Oh, it's a lovely billboard.
- It certainly is.
12
00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:40,256
I tried to talk Marv
into putting up a billboard
13
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:43,477
congratulating us
on the awards, and he did it.
14
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:45,783
And we've got the number
for new subscriptions up there,
15
00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:47,133
so-so...
16
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,135
Oh, man.
She's calling right now.
17
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:51,485
I feel like
I'm in Times Square!
18
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:54,445
Apparently, though...
19
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:59,275
- Yes?
- It's backfired. Badly.
20
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:02,844
Marv put the number for
subscriptions on the billboard.
21
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:05,368
So people who forgot
to cancel their subscriptions,
22
00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:09,459
have been phoning,
in droves, to cancel.
23
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:11,375
Oh, here I am.
24
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,336
Oh-- Ned? Word to the wise.
25
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:17,685
Marv would hate to do it,
26
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:20,166
but just purely
in terms of making savings,
27
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:22,908
he might cut a couple of pages
from the paper.
28
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,781
Aerobics Instructor:
We got this.
29
00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:01,468
Guys, a recent horrible irony
30
00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:03,470
has caused us
to lose subscribers.
31
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:05,776
We need more
award-winning stories.
32
00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:08,083
So please. Come on.
Ideas, please.
33
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:11,130
You can't have great ideas
every single day.
34
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,088
- Take Mr. Digit.
- Oh, my God.
35
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:16,004
No. Now, that germinated
for a long time.
36
00:02:16,005 --> 00:02:18,224
Yeah, Toledo isn't big enough
for great news
37
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,922
- to happen every single day.
- You're so right, Nicole.
38
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,663
Our readers out there,
they're punishing us
39
00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:24,882
by not being interesting,
even to themselves.
40
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,146
Uh... We could put high school
sports on the front page.
41
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,625
- Desperate.
- All right.
42
00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,671
Do you know the show
Is It Cake?
43
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:33,761
Where people make cakes
that are so lifelike
44
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:36,024
that you can't tell them apart
from real things.
45
00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:37,025
Yes.
46
00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:39,201
We say that
47
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:41,508
we are doing that
with the paper.
48
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:44,599
If they bite into it,
they have to buy it.
49
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:48,341
- That's actually a good idea.
- Yeah.
50
00:02:48,342 --> 00:02:50,908
Not what you said.
I was talking to myself.
51
00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:52,693
We start a crusade.
52
00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:55,391
We create a journalistic
crusade, right?
53
00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:57,872
We pick an issue, and we just
hammer away at it every day
54
00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:01,310
from every different angle,
like noble knights.
55
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,094
- Oh...
- Sorry. Devil's advocate.
56
00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:05,227
Isn't that kind of
yellow journalism?
57
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:07,360
Making news
instead of reporting it?
58
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,666
I mean, who are you? The next
William Randolph Hearst?
59
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:12,582
No, no. Hearst played
fast and loose with the truth.
60
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,715
The only thing he had
good taste in was women.
61
00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:15,977
His mistress, Marion Davies,
62
00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:17,631
was one of
the coolest women ever.
63
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:21,635
Probably cooler than any woman
of today, it sounds like.
64
00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:24,290
No, I know someone
as cool as her.
65
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,596
It's just Marion had
a certain sort of a quality
66
00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:28,250
that has never been duplicated.
67
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:32,559
She could be gritty, plucky,
witty, alluring, beautiful.
68
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,343
She was a piece of ass too.
69
00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:37,303
Yeah, okay.
She was old-timey hot at best.
70
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,261
She's like what pretty was
71
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,567
before the polio vaccine
and sunblock.
72
00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,264
No.
73
00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:44,832
She just came from a time when
sexuality was more restrained.
74
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,486
That was a little weird.
75
00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:49,532
Whoever ends up with Ned
is a lucky girl.
76
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:52,405
Because it looks like
his hall pass died in 1936.
77
00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:56,322
Just picture Ned with this
old lady of his dreams,
78
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,193
lifting her skirt,
79
00:03:58,194 --> 00:04:00,804
then finding another skirt
under that.
80
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:03,198
Ooh...!
Another layer.
81
00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:09,813
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
82
00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:14,470
I just do that in here to get
the mockery out of my system.
83
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,080
...and then there is
another skirt.
84
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:18,474
And then there
is another skirt.
85
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:22,043
Oh, Marion. So many layers.
86
00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:23,784
I don't even know
what I'm looking for.
87
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,829
Yeah.
88
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,701
- I feel better now.
- Yes, very funny.
89
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,572
That's very funny.
90
00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:32,271
Let's get back to the crusade,
okay? Let's think big.
91
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,317
What about a crusade
against injustice?
92
00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:38,451
Mm-hm. That's a bit vague.
93
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:40,453
What about something
a little more specific?
94
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:42,368
Like, I don't know. Potholes?
95
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:45,545
- Potholes. Yes, I like that.
- Ooh, yeah.
96
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,068
Potholes is good.
97
00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:49,070
Love that. Love potholes.
98
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:52,073
Because everyone cares
about potholes. Right guys?
99
00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:54,293
You know, there's a huge one
near where I live.
100
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,642
It's so big it looks infected.
101
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,557
- Why don't we check it out?
- Yeah.
102
00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:59,080
Great.
Let's do it. -Cool.
103
00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:01,300
- What are we checking out?
- Mare's pothole.
104
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,562
- It's infected.
- I realized I have
105
00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:03,954
a meeting right now.
106
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:06,217
Let's pick it up in like
half an hour. -Sweet.
107
00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:08,743
- Cleared mine right up.
- Oh, thank you.
108
00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:13,050
I just, uh, remembered
from your training session
109
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:16,532
that if anything
happens romantically, uh,
at work,
110
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,273
- that I have to report it.
- Yes.
111
00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:20,319
Yes, that's right.
You have to report it to me.
112
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,495
You have to tell me all
the details of what happened.
113
00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:25,454
- It's my job to listen and to
hear all the details.
- Okay.
114
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,456
So don't skip any.
115
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:32,200
All right, um, well, uh,
I have started
116
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,637
what I think might be
a relationship, uh,
117
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:38,380
recently with,
um,
someone who works beneath me.
118
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,339
- Oh my God.
- Yeah.
119
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,167
Okay. Okay.
120
00:05:43,168 --> 00:05:46,301
- That's insane. Okay. Um...
- I know.
121
00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:48,216
Was it consensual?
I have to ask.
122
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:50,087
Yes, very consensual.
123
00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:52,699
Says it was consensual.
Awesome.
124
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,702
I'm so happy for you.
Does she have a name?
125
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,486
Mare.
126
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,053
Is that the Chinese one?
127
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:03,579
No. She is, uh, white.
White lady, blonde hair.
128
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,364
- Oh, oh, oh. Yes!
- She's got blue eyes.
129
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,279
I know who you're talking about.
I can see it in my mind's eye.
130
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,760
She doesn't know that I'm here,
though, so... -Oh...
131
00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:13,850
Why? What now, she's
threatening you? Is she crazy?
132
00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:16,897
'Cause she-- she is the one that
was in the military, right?
133
00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:19,029
Or the army, was it?
'Cause she could be violent.
134
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,727
A lot of those people
have concealed weapons
135
00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:22,250
and they wear it
around their ankle
136
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:23,904
so you would never know
it's a woman with a gun.
137
00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:27,821
It's not really a case of being
worried about her behavior.
138
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:30,127
I think everything
is-is-is good there.
139
00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:31,607
But i-if I'm being honest,
140
00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:33,479
I worry that we both love
what we do,
141
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,786
but what
if we don't have enough
in common beyond that?
142
00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:38,397
We have
very different backgrounds
143
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,355
and different tastes and--
Could this be a mistake
144
00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:42,662
if we don't actually share
those things?
145
00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:45,012
Anything you wanna know?
You can look, if you want.
146
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:48,145
- Uh-- no-- I'm--
- That's employment history, allergies.
147
00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:50,409
Hey, don't give that girl
any eggplant.
148
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,759
- Except for that eggplant.
- Ugh.
149
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,370
I thought that maybe you could
put it in your secure file
150
00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:58,982
that I came in and told you and
that everything's above board.
151
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:02,116
Just so Mare and I are both,
you know, protected.
152
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:05,511
Okay. Above board,
I'll put it everywhere.
153
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:06,947
No, I really--
154
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:08,427
I'll write it down later.
155
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,298
But, okay.
Come back and let me know
156
00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:13,214
how it progresses
and what happens and...
157
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:15,172
If and when you guys
have sex and how it is,
158
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:16,913
and what is the positions
or whatever.
159
00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:18,741
- There's--
- Do I need to tell you that?
160
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:20,439
Oh! No, not officially.
161
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,441
I just mean as friends.
How friends go,
162
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,051
"We did it doggy,
and we did it regular,
163
00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:25,792
and we did it front
facing," or...
164
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:28,316
If you want. I think it'd be
fun, come hang out with me.
165
00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:29,970
I feel like we never hang.
166
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:32,059
We actually started
front facing.
167
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,321
Good, that's romantic.
168
00:07:33,322 --> 00:07:35,149
We're the only mammals
that do that.
169
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:37,107
- Is that true?
- Mm-hm.
170
00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:40,024
Yeah, I've never done it
that way, but...
171
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:44,854
I need to bring Oscar
down below for a quick word
172
00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:47,336
with the all powerful
lord of darkness.
173
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,469
I'm talking about Marv,
but, um...
174
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,862
Adam believes that Satan
is actually real,
175
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,517
and it's fun to trigger him.
176
00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:58,912
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
177
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,480
Oscar, no.
178
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:05,745
Oscar, Enervate would like
179
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,877
to buy Mr. Digit
to run in our other newspapers.
180
00:08:07,878 --> 00:08:11,533
I think we will both find
this very lucrative.
181
00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:12,926
As one man to another,
182
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:15,494
do you think lake boats
are worth the trouble?
183
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,017
I do love to float.
184
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:19,802
How does $10,000 sound?
185
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:22,414
- Monthly?
- As the full amount.
186
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:26,853
Okay, so not boat money.
187
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:29,159
I think it's
an interesting first step
188
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:33,642
in what is sure to be
a lively negotiation.
189
00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:35,731
And I do love to haggle.
190
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:36,950
The dance of it.
191
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:41,433
So I will see you later
at the ball.
192
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,357
- Hey.
- Ah...
193
00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:54,794
Phil.
194
00:08:54,795 --> 00:08:57,144
You're coming along.
That's great.
195
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:58,885
It's important to document.
196
00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:07,807
Bro, this piece.
The one you did yesterday.
197
00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:10,897
"Construction workers building
a factory for automated labor."
198
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:12,028
- That's fire.
- Thank you, man.
199
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,726
I appreciate it.
200
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:15,554
How are you able to talk to
so many people that work there?
201
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,730
Usually I can get maybe,
like, one good quote.
202
00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:20,733
So, like, what's your technique
to get people to talk?
203
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:24,780
So basically it starts
with a look, right? Eye contact.
204
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:27,217
And then we enter a flow state
of conversation.
205
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:30,308
- Hm...
- Just talking. And then, uh...
206
00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:34,747
Nah, nah.
I-I'm making up quotes, man.
207
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:38,751
- What?
- Hey! No screaming, please.
208
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:40,709
People are working here.
209
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:43,582
I hate getting quotes. You got
to steer the conversation
210
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,758
so people say this one thing
you want them to say.
211
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:48,369
It's disgusting. It's
manipulation. I won't do it.
212
00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:50,589
You can't make up quotes.
You wanna get fired?
213
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,723
Man. I don't deserve this.
214
00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:58,205
Don't stress, man. We'll figure
it out. I'm gonna help you out.
215
00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,251
- Yeah? Okay.
- Yeah, we'll work on it.
216
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:08,650
- Oh, my God, it's beautiful.
- Right?
217
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:10,783
Can't you see this on
the front page?
218
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:13,437
It's just so huge
and infuriating.
219
00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:15,875
Totally. It's like--
It's like a meteor hit.
220
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,964
Don't fall in there.
You might end up in China.
221
00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:20,793
Yes. Or, like, how deep
is your pothole?
222
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:22,359
Or we could, like,
run a whole thing
223
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,100
where we hammer away
at it for months.
224
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:25,667
- Yeah.
- Like "Pothole Watch."
225
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:27,322
You know? "Day 26." I...
226
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:30,846
What's going on?
Whoa, are you okay?
227
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,456
Yeah, I'm all right.
228
00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:33,632
I threw out my breakfast.
229
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,503
My blood sugar's dipping
a little bit.
230
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:36,983
Okay. Um...
231
00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,724
Is there something good
around here I could get...?
232
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:41,640
I'm sorry. There's
literally nothing, but...
233
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,467
I mean, my apartment's
right up there.
234
00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:46,470
I have, like, five quarts
of curry I made last night.
235
00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:48,559
We can go have a break
and have lunch.
236
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,300
Uh-huh.
237
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:53,000
Oh, come on, you guys can find
a place to go, right?
238
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:56,655
It's all right.
239
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,048
- Lunch with the doc crew.
- Yeah.
240
00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:01,050
- At Mare's. Work lunch.
- Yeah.
241
00:11:01,051 --> 00:11:02,704
- Yeah. Let's go.
- Okay. Let's go.
242
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,227
...hard to measure the value
243
00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:05,751
financially of what a newspaper...
244
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:07,187
I'm on with Perry Kronk,
245
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:09,668
Wall Street Journal
crossword editor.
246
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,408
It depends on a lot of factors,
247
00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,019
but an award-winning
syndicate game
248
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,455
can range from
a few hundred bucks
249
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:17,066
all the way to two million.
250
00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:20,200
- Really? Is that so?
- Oh, my God!
251
00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:23,421
Let me check some stats
to see the latest trends in...
252
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:26,902
No. Marv, I am so sorry.
253
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:28,687
I don't know
what's gotten into Oscar.
254
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,297
I did my homework, Marv.
255
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:32,081
And I'm willing
to sell Mr. Digit
256
00:11:32,082 --> 00:11:35,258
to Enervate
for $1.2 million.
257
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,043
What do you think of me now?
258
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,960
- Okay, Oscar, I'll consider it.
- Okay.
259
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:44,659
Here we are.
260
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:45,705
Should be...
261
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:49,229
Bolt's kind of stuck.
262
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,014
The lock doesn't work.
263
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:53,930
Super's supposed to fix it.
264
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:57,019
- Homey.
- Um... Act-- Sorry.
265
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,891
Can you guys wait out here
for a second?
266
00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:02,242
I just wanna tidy up.
One second.
267
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,504
Oh--
268
00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:05,680
Ow!
269
00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:07,900
Need a hand?
All right. -Nope!
270
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:11,817
Hey, could I get a snack
or something to tide me over?
271
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:14,384
I'm kind of a little bit
queasy here. -Yeah.
272
00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:15,430
Yeah?
273
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,563
Hi.
274
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:22,871
- Well...
- Hey.
275
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:25,265
You know Oscar's
little Mr. Digit? -Yes.
276
00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:27,615
Well, that little worm
never reminded me
277
00:12:27,616 --> 00:12:29,182
to force him to sign a contract.
278
00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:32,272
So now he's milking Marv
for 1.2 million. -No.
279
00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:35,579
Yeah. When really it should be
us who's milking Marv.
280
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,321
Totally. We are the milkers.
281
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:41,760
- So how do we milk?
- Well, we create our own game.
282
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,457
We come in a few bucks cheaper.
283
00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:45,154
- Oh...
- We are both very creative.
284
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:46,895
This will be easy.
285
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:50,029
- Oh... Child's play.
- I'm a child, you know.
286
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:52,205
Mmm... Sort of.
287
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,338
This is it. Sorry for the mess.
288
00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:02,258
Wow! I've always wanted
to sit in one of these. Can I?
289
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:04,130
- Oh, please.
- What do I do? Pull this?
290
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,654
You better. Yeah.
291
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,438
Oh, man.
292
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,963
- That was my granny's La-Z-Boy.
- Oh, that's nice.
293
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:12,399
She died in it.
294
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,488
Cool.
295
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:18,797
Okay. I'll go heat up
some curry.
296
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,624
- Don't snoop.
- I won't.
297
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:22,322
Oh, my God, is that you?
298
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:23,932
Aah!
299
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,455
- What was that?
- Nothing.
300
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,501
- You okay?
- Yep.
301
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:33,289
You read all these books?
302
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:35,031
- Most of them.
- Uh-huh.
303
00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,250
Cool.
304
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,732
What's in this box?
Is it a secret?
305
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:44,170
No, no, no,
don't touch that.
Don't touch that.
306
00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:45,562
No, no, no, that's my gun.
307
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:46,737
- What?
- That's my gun.
308
00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:48,044
- Don't touch that.
- Okay.
309
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:55,094
Ah...
310
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:58,097
This is it, it's the place
that scammed my niece.
311
00:13:58,098 --> 00:14:00,012
"The Jurassic Immersive
Experience Park,
312
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:02,753
where science and fun meet
without refunds."
313
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:04,930
- No, this is sketchy, man.
- Exactly.
314
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:07,062
- Sketchy.
- Let's get out of sight.
315
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:10,109
So we're gonna write an article
and expose this scam. -Okay.
316
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,806
- I need you to go inside...
- Yeah?
317
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:14,026
- ...get some quotes.
- You mean like, by myself?
318
00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:16,289
I thought we were gonna be
a team, dude. -Yeah.
319
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:18,552
You would lie and deceive,
and I would watch,
320
00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:20,380
- and just try to be okay--
- No, no, no.
321
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:21,556
You can do this.
322
00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:24,950
Can't believe this
is happening.
323
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,996
Citizen Kane. Yes.
324
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:30,869
Oh, yeah, no. My dad
is big into physical media.
325
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,741
Gave me all these VHS tapes
and a tape player.
326
00:14:33,742 --> 00:14:35,351
Nice.
327
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:37,224
Xanadu!
328
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,703
I don't...
329
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:41,880
Have you've not seen
Citizen Kane?
330
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,056
Never seen it.
331
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:45,840
- We should watch it.
- Sure.
332
00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:48,669
As research for William
Randolph Hearst.
333
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,453
Yes. Yes, that would be great.
334
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,020
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah.
335
00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:54,893
I am thinking of a game.
336
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,634
- Good on you.
- And the game is...
337
00:14:57,635 --> 00:14:58,941
Here it comes.
338
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:04,511
- I lost it.
- Wall framed pictures.
339
00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:07,296
Ceiling tiles, smoke alarm.
340
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:08,863
Chair. Too much makeup.
341
00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:11,910
- Don't look at me for ideas.
- Go on then. Slap me.
342
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,607
- What?
- Slap me.
343
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,739
Let's jar something loose.
344
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,306
- I like that.
- Mm-hm.
345
00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:19,569
Ay! Yes! Wow.
346
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,441
Number slaps. Number bungalow.
347
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:22,921
Number wack-a. Number thack-a.
348
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,835
Number. Number. Number Dash.
Number Dash.
349
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:28,230
Oh, my gosh. I like that.
Number Dash.
350
00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:30,711
- We made it. Number Dash.
- Number Dash.
351
00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:36,064
There are 45 other
Number Dashes already out there.
352
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:39,068
Come on, Kenneth. Think, man!
353
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,900
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
354
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,256
Mmm...
355
00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:56,345
- Yeah?
- That is delicious.
356
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:58,782
- Oh, good. Good.
- Thank you.
357
00:15:58,783 --> 00:15:59,783
Wow!
358
00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:02,743
Wow.
359
00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:05,702
I'm in. Confirm visual.
360
00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:06,965
Yep, I can see you.
361
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,662
Tuck your phone
in your jacket pocket
362
00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:09,880
so the camera's facing out.
363
00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:11,882
Walk and see
who you can talk to.
364
00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:13,145
I'm right there with you.
365
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:16,496
This is pretty underwhelming,
man.
366
00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:18,715
You see this, right?
Dinosaur with the giant teeth?
367
00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:20,195
That's not realistic even.
368
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,849
- Terrible, man.
- Yeah, it is.
369
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,199
No effort.
370
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:27,811
Wait, what's happening?
I lost visual.
371
00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:29,291
I'm just getting
a couple pics.
372
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:32,294
Hey. It's 20 bucks
to ride the dinosaur.
373
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:34,253
This place sucks.
374
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:36,690
Whoo. Is there
cayenne pepper in this?
375
00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,387
- It's hot in here, right?
- Mm.
376
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:41,173
- It's a little hot.
- Yeah. All good. I, um...
377
00:16:41,174 --> 00:16:42,348
- I like it. It's delicious.
- The heat in this building
378
00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:43,523
is so janky.
379
00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:45,264
I'm gonna get the super.
I know he's--
380
00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:46,787
I do this literally
all the time.
381
00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:50,225
Okay. Thank you.
382
00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:04,631
- Hey.
- I'm Jeff.
383
00:17:04,632 --> 00:17:08,548
Hey. How's it going? I'm Ned.
Uh-- Radiator's over there.
384
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:10,768
Yeah, it is. I see it.
385
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:18,427
Uh... That's the refrigerator,
Jeff.
386
00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:19,820
I think the fridge is fine.
387
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:21,778
How's the curry?
388
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:22,866
Yeah.
389
00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,609
Maybe you can have some
when you're done.
390
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:28,830
- With my beer?
- With your work.
391
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:32,964
Maybe don't drink
other people's beers, buddy.
392
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,054
Seriously, how many have
you had today?
393
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,446
Excuse me?
394
00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:39,493
I don't know,
it just keeps, like, clanging.
395
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,539
- Dad.
- Dad?
396
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,630
It's a pleasure to meet you, sir.
397
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,459
I'm Ned. Mare's, uh...
398
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:51,766
boss.
399
00:17:58,642 --> 00:17:59,686
Hi, Marv.
400
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:00,687
Hello, Marv.
401
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,081
Now.
402
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,778
Uh-huh.
403
00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:06,389
"Señor Number."
404
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:08,999
Why not numero?
405
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,089
Well,
we thought it had broader
appeal this way.
406
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,568
- Yeah.
- Something for everybody.
407
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,004
But you're absolutely right.
408
00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:16,572
Go hard or go home,
it should be numero.
409
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,574
Well, it feels to me--
410
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:22,536
And I hate to use this term,
but, uh, racist.
411
00:18:23,798 --> 00:18:27,235
How so exactly?
I'm not seeing it, Marv.
412
00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:34,068
Well, see, what we have here
is Mr. Digit by Oscar Martinez.
413
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,765
- Yes.
- And then we have
414
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:37,463
a very similar concept,
415
00:18:37,464 --> 00:18:41,771
"Señor Number"
and he has on a sombrero.
416
00:18:41,772 --> 00:18:44,426
- Yeah.
- A big mustache.
417
00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:45,993
- Mm-hm.
- I mean, I wouldn't say
418
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:47,560
racism per se.
419
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:51,651
I mean, racism, on the whole
is supposed to be negative.
420
00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:55,307
And this is more
sort of pandering.
421
00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:57,309
- Mm.
- Exactly, exactly.
422
00:18:57,310 --> 00:19:00,138
We are showing respect
for this culture
423
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,271
by bothering
to trick them into liking this.
424
00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:05,012
- Pass.
- Yeah, it's a pass.
425
00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:06,883
That's a hard pass, I'm afraid.
426
00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,233
That's awful.
427
00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:09,712
You can't do--
428
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:12,237
In this day and age,
you can't really do that.
429
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:15,893
I'm-- I'm so sorry, I just--
I thought you were him.
430
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,679
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
431
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:20,897
I'm sure you were just on edge,
432
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:23,291
having to defend
a woman's fridge.
433
00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:26,207
You can always blame it
on the "mleh" curry.
434
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,948
Hey.
435
00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:33,388
Citizen Kane.
Such a classic, right? Rosebud.
436
00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:34,782
So...
437
00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:37,000
See you later, slugger.
438
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:38,046
Love you.
439
00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:45,313
Nice to meet you.
440
00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:52,451
All right. See that guy?
I want you to go over to him.
441
00:19:52,452 --> 00:19:54,192
I want you to talk to him, okay?
442
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,367
I want you to get him to say,
443
00:19:55,368 --> 00:19:57,195
"This is not
an acceptable museum."
444
00:19:57,196 --> 00:20:00,546
Okay. But I don't think
he's gonna wanna say that.
445
00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:04,332
Hey, man. That's an awesome
dinosaur mask you got on.
446
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:07,336
I'm really excited
to talk to you.
447
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:13,428
Bro, what are you doing?
That was a great opening.
448
00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:14,821
That was
the most pathetic thing
449
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,518
I've ever seen
in my entire life.
450
00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,216
You got me
out here without
a parachute, man.
451
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,174
What are you doing to me?
Jeez.
452
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:21,436
Travis. Travis.
453
00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:22,960
Tr--
454
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:25,919
If I was acting weird...
455
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,703
- I've never met a dad before.
- I could strangle him.
456
00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:29,227
My college girlfriend
had two moms.
457
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,837
It's all I talk about
in therapy.
458
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:32,273
We are so codependent.
459
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:33,970
I was gonna watch Roseanne
to prepare.
460
00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:35,450
- That's really sweet.
- I know.
461
00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:38,541
- Look.
- What?
462
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:42,806
Those bastards.
They filled it in. -Yeah.
463
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,071
- It's filled in.
- And they did a good job.
464
00:20:48,072 --> 00:20:49,943
Well, there goes the crusade.
465
00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:51,510
- You misspoke how?
- I did
466
00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:53,120
a bit more research.
467
00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:55,253
The market is saturated
with sudoku puzzles.
468
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,037
Technically, Mr. Digit is not--
469
00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:59,780
You're looking at the lower end
of my previous estimate.
470
00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:03,348
So like 500k?
471
00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,219
Like a few free weekends
472
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:06,394
at a Courtyard Marriott.
473
00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:07,656
- All right.
- The market--
474
00:21:15,012 --> 00:21:16,710
Mr. Putnam.
475
00:21:18,233 --> 00:21:20,495
Marv. I love this company.
476
00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:25,152
And you've been a very good
partner to me and Mr. Digit.
477
00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:27,807
So...
let's just call it 500k.
478
00:21:27,808 --> 00:21:29,635
I know I'm leaving money
on the table,
479
00:21:29,636 --> 00:21:31,464
but I'd rather sleep at night.
480
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:40,123
I hear you, I hear you.
481
00:21:40,124 --> 00:21:42,517
500k may be a little steep
for friends.
482
00:21:42,518 --> 00:21:43,824
100k even.
483
00:21:44,825 --> 00:21:46,522
100k.
484
00:21:47,741 --> 00:21:50,003
You pay me, good sir, or I'm...
485
00:21:50,004 --> 00:21:51,613
- 25k.
- Done.
486
00:21:51,614 --> 00:21:53,789
- Okay.
- Thank you.
487
00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:55,052
Oscar.
488
00:21:56,140 --> 00:21:57,184
You're good.
489
00:21:57,185 --> 00:21:58,533
All right then.
490
00:21:58,534 --> 00:22:01,928
Cool. You live
right next to a park.
491
00:22:01,929 --> 00:22:05,105
No, no, that's
the Glass Club golf course.
492
00:22:05,106 --> 00:22:07,455
Nearest park's,
like, 20 minutes away.
493
00:22:07,456 --> 00:22:09,457
There must be hundreds of acres.
494
00:22:09,458 --> 00:22:11,329
- That's all private?
- Mm-hm.
495
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,592
Oh, yeah. I think they'd
try and tackle any non-member
496
00:22:13,593 --> 00:22:15,071
who tried to use it.
497
00:22:15,072 --> 00:22:16,899
That's ridiculous.
It's so unfair.
498
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:21,295
Glass Club bought
200 acres for $200 in 1910
499
00:22:21,296 --> 00:22:23,124
and pay zero property taxes.
500
00:22:24,473 --> 00:22:26,997
I think we've found
a new crusade.
501
00:22:33,961 --> 00:22:36,310
Released in 1941, Citizen Kane
502
00:22:36,311 --> 00:22:39,357
tops every critic's list
for greatest film ever made.
503
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:41,881
Feast your eyes.
504
00:22:41,882 --> 00:22:43,361
What are we watching, guys?
505
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:46,146
- What do you guys want?
- Oh, great.
506
00:22:46,147 --> 00:22:48,931
Sorry, chief. Couldn't find
anybody to go on record.
507
00:22:48,932 --> 00:22:54,328
Oh. Oh, but this
picture's amazing.
508
00:22:54,329 --> 00:22:55,764
- Yeah, this is--
- Can I see?
509
00:22:55,765 --> 00:22:56,853
This is great.
510
00:22:57,941 --> 00:22:59,594
- Hey.
- Good job, guys.
511
00:22:59,595 --> 00:23:01,857
Well, um, I'm so glad
you like it,
512
00:23:01,858 --> 00:23:03,337
but I will now be resigning
513
00:23:03,338 --> 00:23:05,208
as a reportorial-style
journalist,
514
00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:07,167
effective immediately
for moral reasons.
515
00:23:07,168 --> 00:23:09,169
Here's my press pass, homemade.
516
00:23:09,170 --> 00:23:10,779
Thought I took that already.
517
00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:13,173
Yeah, well
they're pretty easy to make.
518
00:23:13,174 --> 00:23:16,698
I mean, Ned, it's pretty great.
519
00:23:16,699 --> 00:23:20,398
Yeah. I don't wanna lose you
from the team, Travis.
520
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:23,183
Would you consider staying on
and taking photos?
521
00:23:23,184 --> 00:23:25,054
I think you would make
a great photojournalist
522
00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:26,099
for the paper.
523
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:27,230
Yes. I accept.
524
00:23:27,231 --> 00:23:28,536
- Yeah.
- Yes? Fantastic.
525
00:23:28,537 --> 00:23:30,582
Thank you. Take that from you.
526
00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:32,279
Okay.
We will miss your articles.
527
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,107
No one on the team
got better quotes.
528
00:23:34,108 --> 00:23:36,327
That's right.
Okay, see you guys.
529
00:23:42,551 --> 00:23:45,161
Please tell me you're not gonna
watch me the entire time.
530
00:23:45,162 --> 00:23:47,773
No.
531
00:23:47,774 --> 00:23:50,253
Our good old friend
William Randolph Hearst,
532
00:23:50,254 --> 00:23:51,864
he ordered all of his newspapers
533
00:23:51,865 --> 00:23:53,561
to pretend
that this didn't exist.
534
00:23:53,562 --> 00:23:55,911
- Really? Dang.
- Mm-hm.
535
00:23:55,912 --> 00:23:58,000
Come on slugger,
nice and loud.
536
00:23:58,001 --> 00:24:01,090
Oh, my God. No. No, no, no.
537
00:24:01,091 --> 00:24:03,092
You don't wanna watch this.
538
00:24:03,093 --> 00:24:05,530
I-I absolutely do.
539
00:24:05,531 --> 00:24:07,270
- That's me.
- Wow.
540
00:24:07,271 --> 00:24:08,837
I can't believe
my dad taped over
541
00:24:08,838 --> 00:24:10,143
an American classic for this.
542
00:24:10,144 --> 00:24:12,581
I... I can believe it.
543
00:24:13,930 --> 00:24:17,193
♪ Consider yourself well in ♪
544
00:24:17,194 --> 00:24:19,239
I think your dad
made the right choice.
545
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,546
This is perfect.
546
00:24:21,547 --> 00:24:24,810
♪ There isn't a lot to spare ♪
547
00:24:24,811 --> 00:24:26,246
♪ Who cares ♪
548
00:24:26,247 --> 00:24:28,815
♪ Whatever we got we share ♪
40453
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