All language subtitles for The Baby Maker 1970 (inglés_ASR)

[music]

She's a fine looking lady as she walks

through

stars call her baby and the moons.

You love her like she's crazy cuz that's

just how she planned it. So you try but

she tells you you can only whisper and

the wind is something like a pain.

And that fine looking lady has drowned

herself in laughter once again.

She crosses her borders to confuse

pioneers.

The sea gives her orders and the sand

[music] gives her years. And them that

would take her must conquer first her

fears. So they try, but she tells them,

"Hey, you'll never win me, cuz your

touch ain't nothing like the earth."

She's a fine looking lady with many

loyal friends of noble.

Well, Miss Smith T.

>> Who is it?

>> Well,

hello.

>> Yes,

>> this is Mrs. Colnik.

>> Hi.

Hi.

You still there?

>> I was just lighting a cigarette. Am I

disturbing you?

>> No, I'm just having a sandwich. My

mouth's full.

>> Should I call later?

>> No. No.

>> Are you sure?

>> Oh, wait a minute. I'm dripping

mayonnaise.

>> No. Okay. Hi. Who gave you this number?

>> I spoke to Charlotte. How are you, Fish?

>> Told you I'm fine.

>> Uh, I was wondering if you'd like to

come over for a cup of tea this

afternoon.

Is he still at 4:30?

>> My habits never change. I have someone I

want you to meet. Someone I want to meet

you. You are still interested in meeting

someone, aren't you? You haven't changed

your mind.

>> No.

>> Good. See you here.

>> So you try, but she fails. People

[music and singing]

come, [music]

people go.

That's the way it is. I know it is.

[music] Taking life

day by day, that's all I know. Oh,

[music]

that's so w

one and one make two. [music]

Don't ask me why. Why? [music]

Why won't even [singing] try?

>> [music]

>> Mrs. Colick.

>> Yes.

>> Hi, it's me.

>> Come right on up.

>> Okay, I'm on. [music]

>> People laugh,

people cry.

That's the way it is. I know it is

[music]

living life

till [singing] they die. That's all I

know.

[music] As for birds

flying [singing] high

in the [music] sunshine,

don't ask me why. Why? Why? I only know

[music]

what I [singing] know.

People come,

[music] people [singing] go. Got to get

going.

[music]

[music]

>> Hello my dear. Hello.

>> Don't you look wonderful? Come on in.

>> This is Tish Patricia Gray. And this is

Suzanne. Suzanne Wilcox. Mrs. J. Wilcox.

>> Hello.

>> Nice meeting you.

>> I told Suzanne all about you. So, you

are at a disadvantage.

>> Excuse me. I'll make the tea while you

two get to know each other. Do you need

any help?

>> Oh, no, no, thank you, my dear. Just sit

down and get acquainted.

>> It's a beautiful day.

>> You live in Los Angeles?

>> Yes. I was born back east, but we've

lived here for about 12 years now.

>> I've only ever been as far east as

Vegas.

>> Tish is one of those rarities. She was

actually born in Los Angeles basin.

>> Do you like Vegas?

>> Never been there. Do you?

>> Oh, yeah. I worked there for a couple

weeks.

>> Oh, yes. During what?

>> In a sort of teeny bopper topless joint

until the boss found out my ID was fake.

Miss Colnik didn't mention that, did

she?

>> No. No, she didn't. Here

we are. Would anyone like some rum in

her tea? It's a lapang sush

darling. Would you get the rum? It's on

the other table.

>> Why didn't you tell Suzanne I worked in

Vegas. Mrs. Con, I did this terrific

number on the glass swing. Eight of us

right all over the audience. It was

incredible. Thank you.

>> What did you tell her? She told me that

you went to UCLA and you had your degree

in English literature.

>> It was American literature and I went

two semesters.

>> You must really be into books if she

told you I have a degree in English

literature.

>> My husband reads a lot.

>> Well, there you are.

>> Rum. No, thank you.

>> Can we get down to business and talk

about what we came here to talk about,

>> Tish?

This kind of thing has its own natural

rhythm. I'm afraid you are disturbing

the natural rhythm.

>> No. No. She's right. I was right. I

thought your eyes were green.

>> Now, to begin with,

my marriage is not in trouble. It's just

the opposite. All of our friends say

that Jay and I are the happiest couple

they know.

>> Fantastic.

Do

>> you take drugs?

What do you call drugs?

>> LSD.

>> Just peyote.

It's organic.

>> The Indians live by it.

>> Marijuana?

>> Are you serious?

>> Oh, but you could give it up.

>> Yeah, if I had to, sure.

>> Of course you would. Good. I want you to

meet my husband.

>> Yeah, obviously.

>> Now?

Right now?

Right now?

What does your husband do?

>> He's a management engineer.

>> What's a management engineer?

>> Efficiency expert.

>> What does that mean?

>> It means he goes into business

corporations and detects the excess fat,

deadwood in production. Then he teaches

them to reorganize for maximum

efficiency.

Hot damn.

>> Do you see him? No,

>> not yet.

>> There he is. There's Jerry.

>> Which one?

>> That one. The handsome one. Of course.

>> Okay.

He does read a lot.

>> What?

>> I was just looking at your record

collection. You have a lot of friends

after Jay.

>> Hello, darling.

Hi,

>> Tish. I want you to meet my husband,

Jay.

>> Hello, Tish. How are you?

>> I'm fine.

I was just looking at your records. You

have an awful lot of Frank Sinatra.

>> We have all the Beatles, too.

>> Would you like a drink? The bar is open.

>> I'll have a Scotch and Soda, darling.

You are staying for dinner.

I'll have to make a phone call.

>> Oh, there's one on the table

>> and there's one in the kitchen.

>> There's one in the bedroom.

>> What would you like to drink?

>> Uh, do you have any wine?

>> Red or white?

>> White.

>> White.

Ryan,

is there any other way? It's good [ __ ]

man. There's another way, man.

>> Is this how you go up this way?

>> Up is the other way. You want to get

that phone?

>> Hello. Hello, Billy.

>> No, it's Wanda.

>> Oh, hi, Tish.

>> Hi.

>> It's uh Hey, where are you? I'm in

Brentwood.

>> Oh, me and Sam and a bunch of freaks. We

spent the afternoon at the bottom of the

Pacific Ocean floor. Yeah,

>> we brought you home some food.

>> Well, we're waiting. Are you coming?

>> Uh, let me talk to Tad. Okay,

>> Tad.

>> Yes, please.

>> Telephone.

>> Oh, yeah. Hey. Hey, where are you?

>> I'm in Brenwood.

>> Tad.

>> Hey, Tish. I'm in the kitchen and

Wanda's moving at me with something.

It's a lie.

>> Put lemon on it. But I s porcupine.

>> Come on.

>> Get you high.

>> Good.

>> Like a malt.

>> Honey, do we only have two steaks?

>> No. No, sweetheart. There's another one

in the freezer.

>> What do you think?

>> I think she's very attractive.

>> Hey, I don't know what time I'll be

home. Okay.

>> Well, she's been around. Well,

>> of course she's been around. I mean,

what other kind of girl is going to

agree to this kind of thing? Most kids

today have been around.

How old is she?

>> She's 22.

>> Oh, look. Here's a lighter fluid. I

didn't forget it.

>> No, look. I I'm I'm having dinner here.

And just save me one. Yeah. Save me some

of that, too.

>> Goodbye.

Push it to the left.

Well, it may be locked.

>> There you go.

>> Did you ever try to walk right through

it?

>> Suzanne has twice.

>> What a bummer.

>> Hey, do you want to ask me any

questions? Ethnic background, stuff like

that.

>> Tell me about your boyfriend.

>> Well, his name is Tad.

>> Mhm.

>> And he's beautiful.

We've been living together about 6

months now. He makes fantastic things

out of leather. Did you Did you see my

coat in and in and purse on the couch?

He made those. We're trying to get

together a little shop. Hey, maybe you

could come down and give us some advice

on being more efficient.

Well, anyway, he's been busted three

times. Twice in New York and once once

here. And he's tired of it. So, he's

like hiding out down there and trying to

get his head together. Is that enough?

>> Yeah, I think that's enough.

>> He doesn't know about this.

>> What's he going to say?

>> We have a very open relationship.

>> What happened to your glass of wine?

>> I don't know. I I I don't drink much. I

turn on.

>> Norman Maylor says booze is the active

man's pop.

>> Oh, yeah. Who's Norman Maylor?

Oh, wow. It's pretty pool.

>> We put it in ourselves.

>> Oh, it's nice.

>> Would you like to go for a swim?

>> Can I?

>> Yeah. I'll get you one of Suzanne's

suits.

>> Oh, no. No. Don't bother. Don't go to

any trouble. I'm not bashful.

>> Oh my god. It's like being in a bathtub.

Thank you, darling.

>> Want some ice cream?

>> What kind? We have vanilla, chocolate,

burnt almond, and coffee. Coffee?

>> I'll get it.

Thank you.

You see,

at first

we didn't want to have any children.

Jay was still in school and I was

working. We couldn't afford them on any

level. We wanted to be alone together

and we did have a child. We wanted to be

able to give it everything.

Then January of the fifth year, we

changed our minds. It was our New Year's

resolution.

We were comfortable. We had a lovely

house. So, we started trying and we

tried and we tried and we tried. We

spent a fortune on doctors.

Then finally, I was sent to a doctor in

New York. That was about two years ago.

And he said yes. He thought there might

be something wrong with me.

and what was to have been an corrective

and exploratory operation.

There were complications.

I developed paritis

and to save my life the doctor performed

hyerectomy.

It's a devastating thing to wake up to.

Jay couldn't tell me my mother had to.

Can I have a doggy bat?

I'm serious. This is my lunch for

tomorrow.

>> You ever thought of adopting a baby?

>> Of course. Thought of everything.

>> But isn't the same, is it really?

I want his child. I want a Jay Jr.

Even if it isn't mine. It's a Jay Jr.

>> Here we are.

coffee.

>> Thank you, darling.

>> And chocolate syrup for those that will

How many babies have you made for

couples like us?

How many did Mrs. Kick tell you?

>> No, no, I'm asking you.

>> I've had one other baby.

He was in a different circumstances,

though, and Mrs. Kick found a wonderful

home for him.

But this is the first time, you know,

like this.

>> And you could give [clears throat] it

up. You could do that.

>> Oh, yeah. I didn't want to.

>> Yeah. I was too young. I didn't want to

be trapped.

>> And you ever seen him or made an attempt

to see him?

>> No. That that was part of the bargain.

>> Um Suzanne and I obviously have to

discuss this whole thing very carefully.

>> Yeah. Well, I want to think about it,

too.

>> Of course you do. If we do decide to go

ahead, there are certain things we'd

insist upon.

>> Me, too. We mean certain rules,

guarantees. You want to be sure you're

the father.

>> I sure as hell do.

>> Well, anyway, you want to work it out.

You know, whatever's most efficient. Um,

lock me up. Chastity belts.

But I just have one thing. after I'm

pregnant and you're satisfied that

you're the father and I like, you know,

live my own life and I see my own

friends and you live your life. You see

your friends and you know, we just don't

get to know each other too well. I think

it'll be easier all the way around, you

know.

>> Mhm.

>> I can start anytime

if we do decide.

>> I have vacation starting the end of next

week.

>> Oh, wow. Terrific. We can shoot for a

Scorpio.

Is there anything else?

>> Yes, it has to be natural child birth.

>> Well, I was knocked out during labor and

delivery before.

>> This is much better for the baby.

>> What about me?

>> You think about it. I'll give you some

books on the subject.

>> Yeah, I'll think about it.

Jingle bells,

jingle balls,

cat.

[laughter]

Turn it off.

[laughter]

[clears throat]

Oh, hey. I saved you a sea urchin.

>> Oh, no thanks.

>> Hey, you smell like chlorine steak.

>> You want some steak?

>> Hey, I was into this whole water trip.

You [snorts] know this water?

I I mean like it it starts in a fresh

spring, right? Far far away.

and it gets channel

through thousands and thousands and

thousands of miles of man laid pipe

chemicals

to come out the other end through

faucets

and that fresh springs as dry as a bone.

Hey, it was a good snack.

Hey, who you been with can a good steak,

huh?

>> Oh, wow. [laughter]

Hey, maybe maybe this cow drank from

last spring.

>> [snorts]

>> Did I just ask you if you were going

away and did you just say this maybe the

last time for a while?

>> Yes. I can't remember saying any of

that.

>> How do you see your hair wet?

>> Hey D

piece is horizontal.

Hey,

>> where are you going?

H

>> I'm going to make a baby.

>> You're going to make

>> Oh, wow. Remember what we said?

>> Not with you.

>> What?

>> Not with you.

Remember when I told you about Mrs.

Colnik? You know that that lady I met

through Charlotte. She was really nice

and she helped me out before when when

Charlie's fit for Canada.

>> Yeah. Well, she asked me if I'd be

interested in something almost a year

ago and she phoned me this morning and

and I went out and I met this couple.

>> What couple?

>> Well, their names are Jane and Suzanne

and they can't have any children cuz

she's had a hysterctomy

and they want to have a baby that's at

least half theirs.

And they're thinking about it and I'm

thinking about it. Well, I told Mrs.

Connik, I'd only do it, you know, if I

really like the couple and they really

like me

>> and they're going to give me $500 down.

>> Beautiful. Beautiful.

>> $500 down in cash, all expenses starting

today, rent, food, etc. But not to

exceed $150 a month, $500 upon

affirmation of pregnancy.

maternity wardrobe, doctor and hospital

bills, and at birth $2,000 in cash.

>> An extra hundred if it's a boy.

>> Okay.

One

100 extra if child is made.

Uh, will cooks agree to pay colic fee of

$500, half now, half on delivery. In

exchange, Patricia Gray agrees to follow

all rules. See attached paper

prepared by Mrs. Wilcox on progression

of pregnancy.

Period.

Voila.

And now we return to our afternoon

movie.

>> Mama, look what Tish brought you. A box

of mother seeds.

>> Oh, good. Oh, good. Good.

Wonderful.

M h chocolatecovered marshmallow

chocolate covered pecan you know bon

bonss are my favorites

there's a beauty a beauty of beauty

good

last night on the news there was a young

boy who had been wounded in the war he

looked just like your father

part of his head shot off

asked him if he wasn't grateful to think

the doctors have been able to save his

life. Well, he looked at them as though

they were crazy and he said, "Yes, he

was grateful."

Well, I can't let her see me looking

like this.

Come on.

Hey, wait.

I I don't know when I'll be home again,

but uh you can always reach me at Tad's.

>> I'm not going to ask you where you got

that money.

>> Good.

>> You'd lie to me anyway, wouldn't you?

>> That's right.

>> Hey, let's save a 100 for yourself and

uh treat grandma to the races and put

the rest in the bank.

>> Okay, baby. Anything you say.

>> Okay.

>> Come on. I'll drop you at the

restaurant. You can hitchhike home from

there.

Oh,

that's terrific.

It's beautiful.

Jay, darling, you better bring in some

extra wood before it gets dark.

>> I'll get it later, honey.

>> Oh, and I brought some sugar and some

vanilla extract and whipping cream in

case we get a fresh snow. We're going to

have snow ice cream.

Tish.

Tish. Yes, ma'am. Would

you please take the rock salt, sprinkle

it on the step before one of us breaks

the neck? Sure. Thank you.

You can still change your mind.

>> I won't leave now, right?

>> You know where I'll be if you need me.

>> The motel A8.

Oh,

>> Tish, I'll be back in the morning about

10:30 or 11 to fix us all breakfast. Is

that too early?

>> Not for me.

Look,

this is absolutely ridiculous.

You don't have to wear it if you don't

want to, Tish.

But it mean a great deal to me.

It's okay with me.

Thank you.

>> I walk you to the car.

>> No, I'm fine.

>> I'm walking you to the car, so just shut

up.

>> Go away.

Tish,

>> do you want a drink? I'm having a drink.

>> Oh, no. I don't think so.

>> Sure.

>> Hey, I I don't suppose Suzanne would

approve if I smoked.

>> I thought you didn't smoke

>> some grass.

>> No, no, I don't think Suzanne would

approve if you smoked some grass.

>> Okay, I'll have a drink then.

All right.

>> What's that?

>> It's a thermometer.

>> Is that something new? Does that make

you high or something?

>> I'm taking my temperature.

See, physiologically, it's perfect. You

run you run a low temperature. And we're

in the right part of my cycle. So, if we

do it an hour before ovulation, there's

a better chance it'll be a boy.

>> Well, wait a minute. Now, we're not in a

clinic here now. This whole thing is

being a little too clinical for my son.

>> Oh, your wife figured it all out for me.

>> [bell]

[bell]

[music]

[music]

[bell]

[music]

>> Beautiful.

[music]

You really love her, don't you?

>> Very much.

>> You don't go to bed with other girls.

>> Fantastic.

I can tell by the way you two treat each

other.

I I get the feeling that she like

sometimes like

thinks you do and and and she gets

jealous and all that [ __ ]

and you say, "No, man. I didn't follow

that chick." Right.

>> Right.

>> Does that make me square?

>> Being faithful make me square?

>> I think it's beautiful.

I don't understand it.

But I don't understand a lot of

beautiful things.

Like I don't understand people who can

make music.

I envy that. I I think they're

beautiful.

You two must be very sexually happy.

Mary

You're lucky.

>> That's not luck. That's hard work.

>> I don't understand you. I really don't.

That's okay. I like that. You know, it's

that's nice.

Like you never once asked me why I was

doing this. Not once.

I was waiting for you to ask me, you

know. I I was I was into all the

answers,

but for the money.

>> Mhm.

>> Look, it's it's creative, isn't it?

>> What is it? You know, it's no waste of

time.

It's an easy way to make a living.

And every mother in America

earns her living that way. Why shouldn't

I?

>> Oh, did you did you ever read Shaw on

this subject?

>> Who?

>> George Bernard Shaw.

>> Who's George Bernard Shaw?

He said

that marriage and motherhood

was the greatest slavery invented by

man.

My mother told me that.

My mother

My mother is not a stupid woman.

My mother thinks like sh

You see,

I discovered that I I really just love

being pregnant.

I love it.

I love everything about it.

But I I don't want any kids, you know. I

like kids but uh

I know that I don't want the

responsibility of raising somebody

in the world the way it is you know the

the way it is.

>> Mhm.

>> And I'm not doing it for the money just

for the money.

It's like

proof of the reality of my own

existence.

Oh, wow. What a wrap.

You're at a terrible disadvantage.

>> That you're very beautiful.

your wife, you know, explained a lot of

things about you. Oh,

>> for Christ's sakes.

>> Oh, no, no, no, no. It's beautiful. It's

It's lovely. She loves you.

In the beginning, love is so important.

I want to make

first moment of life so beautiful.

like creation.

Like this is going to be a terrific kid.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

>> Good morning.

>> Good morning.

How does she like her eggs?

>> I don't know how she likes her eggs.

>> You want your coffee now?

>> Yes, please.

>> Thank you,

>> Tish. Yeah. How do you like your eggs?

I'll sit side up, please.

>> It smells good.

I'm hungry.

>> Yeah, me too.

>> [music]

>> People [music] come,

people go.

That's the way it is. [music] I know it

is. Taking life

day [music] by day. That's all I know.

As for why

skies [music] are blue,

one and one make two.

Don't ask [music] me why. Why? Why?

Won't even try. [music]

People laugh,

people cry.

That's [music] the way it is. I know it

is. Living life

till they die. That's all I know.

[music]

[music]

J,

you better go before you [music] fall

asleep.

Mhm.

>> [music]

>> Thank you.

[music]

>> Good night.

>> Good night. [music]

[music]

>> [bell]

[bell]

>> darling.

>> Huh?

>> I've been reading in the Golden Bell.

>> Did you say hello?

>> Yes.

>> How do you know that? Suzanne majored in

art, but she minored in anthropology.

>> Let me finish. This is really very

interesting. They make a doll, and the

mother to be cradles it in her arms.

Then the man holds a chicken over her

head and says something like, "Oh,

let a child come."

>> "Oh, let a child come."

>> Yes. And then the woman pretends to

nurse the baby, the doll.

Then the man holds a chicken by its feet

over the husband's head and mumbles

something. Then they sacrifice a

chicken.

[laughter]

The two tribe of Mayor believe that

trees have the power to make women

fruitful. So they hang all the umbilical

cords on a certain tree and women who

want to bear children embrace that

particular tree.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

>> My god, it's mother earth. M is for the

many things she

>> gave me.

>> Success.

>> Success.

>> Far out.

Oh, wow. Um, Charlotte phoned a week

ago, Tuesday, and uh, your mother phoned

once. Your grandmother has some kind of

bronchial infection, but I phoned back

in a couple days. She's okay now.

>> Did you miss me?

>> Wow. And somebody poisoned one's dog.

Nobody knows who dead or why. That's

real bummer.

Awake and aware.

>> 1,000 beautiful things.

>> Everything an expectant mother sees,

hears, eats, feels, etc. has an effect

upon the child. She wants me to have the

kind of pregnancy she'd have by the

numbers.

>> Beautiful. Hey, what's your eat? A lot

of health food

>> outside.

>> Hey, I've been thinking about getting

myself a set of drums. Wanda knows this

cat's got a $600 set of drums. Let me

have for a hundred.

What's

>> this? Sati

pursel.

>> They have a fantastic stereo.

>> Hello.

>> Hello. Hi. It's It's me. I just wanted

to check in and tell you I got home. All

right.

>> Oh, Tish. Thank you. That's very sweet

of you. We appreciate it. Are you all

right?

>> Oh, sure. Fine. They don't approve it

though.

>> Good. How do you feel?

>> Terrific. My my tits tingle a little

bit, but you know that's that's all

right. It feels good.

>> How's dad? Oh,

>> he's fine.

>> Jay and I'd love to meet him.

>> Uh, well, I'll bring him over some

Sunday.

Look, we'll talk really soon. Okay.

>> All right, D. Goodbye.

>> Goodbye. Now, hello to Jay.

>> All right. Bye.

Dad, I really miss the ocean. Let's go

for a walk.

>> She called to tell us she got home. All

right.

>> You would have done the same thing.

>> Hello to you.

[music]

[music]

>> [music]

[music]

>> We drove up to Marin County to see the

heather.

It's really beautiful. Fantastic. Far

out. It's worth a trip. I got in this

whole plant [music] thing while you were

gone. You know they feel pain.

And when you go out, they wait for you

to come back. I ran into this cat

Harvey. Laid the [music] whole thing on

me while you were gone.

>> Hey,

>> what

>> is he better than me?

>> Well, he's older than you,

>> but you've had more experience.

Come on, let's go home. Even changed the

sheets for us.

>> I promised [music] him I wouldn't.

>> You what?

>> I promised him I wouldn't.

>> You're kidding.

>> I promised them. You

>> promised him.

>> You're crazy.

But there are other things we could do.

[music]

>> Pregnant women have the strangest

cravings.

Pickles and strawberries,

>> peanut butter, hot dogs,

>> onions and marshmallows,

>> donuts and mustard,

>> mashed potatoes with hot fudge sauce.

Put them all together, [music]

they spell.

By the time a woman misses her first

period, the baby's head and brain have

already begun to take form.

>> The heart, though only a tiny tube at

this stage, has already begun to beat,

[music]

and [bell] the backbone has begun to

develop. There's a definite tail at the

end of it. Four tiny buds have appeared.

These will grow into the baby's arms and

legs. At the end of the first month, the

embryo baby is about one quart of an

inch in length and is curled in a tight

sinister.

>> Come on up.

>> Come on up with me.

>> Come on. Is it good for the kid? It'll

be good for

>> What do you do [music] when your grass

grows tall?

[music]

>> [music]

>> Now,

what do you do when your wagon st

[music]

>> What do you do when you're having balls

[music]

know it.

>> Jay, darling, listen.

>> Suzanne, don't call her.

>> Jay, she was on her stomach going down

that slide.

>> Leave the girl alone.

>> Darling, look. I spent the entire

afternoon reading the dos and don'ts of

pregnancy in every book we have. And

several of them specifically stated no

riding in roller coasters or any similar

amusement rides.

>> You shouldn't have been spying on her.

Who wasn't spying on her? I went down to

the pier to get some fish.

>> Smells like lamb to me.

>> Couldn't find any fish I liked.

>> I'm not complaining. Your lamb is always

delicious.

Second month. The baby's arms and legs

develop, complete with elbows, knees,

and webbed fingers and toes. The tail

becomes completely formed and reaches

its greatest length. The lungs, heart,

stomach, liver, and intestines begin to

take the position they will occupy in

the full grown baby.

The baby's face too begins to acquire

its features, including eye sockets,

[music] eyelids, and ears. It's

fascinating to realize how incredibly

small all these features, limbs, and

organs are at this stage.

Okay, now we're going to do a fanny

shimmy and One, two, one, two, one, two,

one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two.

Good. One, two, one, two, one, two, one,

two, one, two. Keep going. One, two,

one, two,

go. One, two, one, two,

one, two,

relax.

Two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one,

two, one, two, one, two, one, two. Nice

and good. Two, one, two, one. Keep

going. Two.

>> I want to talk to you. All right.

>> Relax.

Come on.

Two. Two.

>> There is a limit to the amount of

physical exercise a woman can Don't

interrupt me.

>> That a woman [music] can experience

during her pregnancy.

>> You need exercise. Let me finish this.

>> Okay. Okay.

>> The first 3 months are the most crucial.

More miscarriages will occur in the

first 3 months than at any other time.

Now, you may not feel as if you're

pregnant.

>> Oh, I do.

>> Well, you don't look it.

>> Well, not yet.

>> You've got to remember you are.

>> Okay. No more belly dancing lessons.

>> How's Jay?

He's developed a craving for gooseberry

pie.

>> No kidding. Right.

>> You said you'd been back east. What made

you decide to come out here?

>> Well, I don't travel back east.

>> Uh-huh. With with the authorities,

you know, so I figured I'd come out here

and do my leather thing for a while.

>> Get my head together.

Do you feel that climate is more um

suited to your perhaps your type of

existence here than it is back east?

>> I don't know. I met her out here.

>> I don't like it back there, man. Too

many people, you know.

>> That's true.

>> I don't want to live where people can be

like an inconvenience, you know?

>> Yeah, I know.

>> New York City, man. Everybody's on

everybody else's ass.

Third month, the baby's tail [music]

begins to diminish in size. By the end

of the month, it disappears.

The webbing between the fingers and toes

also disappears.

Very thin fingernails and toenails

[music] appear, and the buds that will

grow into baby teeth are forming in the

gums.

>> [music]

[music]

>> What do you do when your child does

fall?

[music] Show it. Show it.

[music]

What do you do when your boots too

[music] small

to

[music]

>> over

Kill it.

>> What is it? What's the matter?

>> Look.

>> Oh my god.

Where is she?

>> They took her right away. She's down

there someplace. You want to sit down?

>> No. Thank you. Champagne?

>> No.

>> How? How'd it happen?

>> It wasn't my fault.

>> I'm not accusing you. You

>> were just horsing around.

>> What were you doing?

>> Playing volleyball on the beach like I

told you on the phone. You're just

playing.

>> You didn't tell me you were playing

volleyball.

>> Yeah, volleyball.

>> And if she loses this baby,

>> you'll just have to try again.

>> What is it? I'm all right.

>> You're sure? Yeah, I'm sure.

>> Mrs. McCann,

>> the baby.

>> The baby's fine.

He said that 20% of all women spot

during pregnancy. My uterus, though,

hasn't risen from the hollow of my lower

spine. It's not serious, but it has to

come forward.

So, he uh put in a ring and he gave me

some instruction on a thing called knee

chest position.

>> Come on, let's get out of here.

>> I'm going to stay and talk with Dr.

Sams.

>> Your baby's fine. Really?

>> I believe you. I just want to talk with

Dr. Sams. You two go on.

Well, that's what I do, George.

No, it's quite all right. We're just

spending a quiet Sunday around the pool.

>> No, we are not being antisocial.

We'd love to sometime.

Look, uh why don't you and I meet at the

courts next Saturday at uh 10:00.

All right.

>> Fish.

Time for the knee chest position.

>> Okay.

>> Fourth month. [music] The baby's growing

rapidly. By the end of this month, it

will be 4 to 6 in long and weigh

approximately 4 oz.

It now looks like a baby, completely

formed, but with a great deal of growing

still to do. At this stage, the baby

could be cupped in the palm of a hand.

[music]

10.

>> How much longer does this have to go on?

>> Well, it doesn't have to go on for a

full 9 months. Why don't you go in the

other room? Huh?

>> I can't. I have 10 more minutes.

>> Sure is attractive.

>> Yeah. Well, you're really terrific.

>> Yeah, I'm learning. [music] I'm

learning. Just like you learn to play

the guitar.

I'm sorry. You play good guitar.

[bell]

>> Yeah.

>> Hello, Dad.

>> Yeah. Just

the wife of the father of your child.

I'm in the position.

>> I'm not checking up on you. I just

called to tell you that Jay got us some

seats for the ballet on Sunday night. I

thought you'd enjoy it.

>> Look, I'll talk to you later. We're

having a fight. Goodbye.

>> Oh, come on, Dad.

Come on.

Come on.

He never stayed out all night before

without calling me or something.

Brick floors are a [ __ ] to keep clean.

Yeah. Well, I guess I haven't felt like

doing much housework lately then.

Morning.

I uh I fell asleep on Harvey's couch.

You do all this?

>> Mhm.

>> Great.

>> Thank you. How much longer have I got to

go?

>> Another 5 minutes.

>> Hey, I fell asleep on Harvey's couch.

Okay.

I'm taking a bath because I fell asleep

on Harvey's couch. Harvey has less than

dogs and Harvey's couch is dirty.

>> T, you left her here all alone, all

night.

>> She's a big girl. She can take care of

herself. You'd be surprised.

>> She's in a delicate condition.

>> Harvey's couch is also uncomfortable. I

understand, Tad, that this must be

difficult for you. But Jay and I would

appreciate if you'd be a bit more

considerate.

>> Considerate?

>> I I mean, you could heal for more.

There's absolutely no reason for that

many dirty dishes. You could be nicer.

>> I made cream of wheat for three nights

in a row. What do you want?

>> You have an obligation.

>> I have a headache.

>> And we're paying the rent here.

>> That doesn't obligate me.

Don't give me that obligation [ __ ] I

don't have an obligation to anybody but

myself, right? Now, don't hand me any of

your lame middle class obligation crap.

It's not my kid.

>> Tish, why don't you come over to the

house, spend the rest of the day? We'll

fix a nice supper and go see a movie.

You're welcome to come, too, Ted.

>> No thanks. I'm going to work on my bike.

>> Tish,

>> no. I'll talk to you later. Thanks for

cleaning up the place.

She even did the laundry.

>> I fell asleep on Harvey's couch.

>> You know, she was just trying to be

nice. Tad,

>> what do you want me to do? Kiss her ass?

I didn't ask her to come in here and

clean up my shop. As a matter of fact,

it's too goddamn.

It's better now. I recognize it. I

didn't recognize it so clean before.

Home sweet home.

Hello.

>> Hey, it moved. It moved for the first

time.

>> It moved.

>> Let me speak to her.

>> Here's Suzanne. It's fantastic.

>> God,

>> it moved. Just now. [laughter] It felt

just like the fluttering of a pair of

hands.

>> Fifth month. It is during this month

that the baby begins to be active and is

now growing large enough to make a

noticeable bulge in the abdomen.

>> How's the leather shop coming along?

It's getting there.

Now that Tish is 5 months pregnant and

determined to stay down there, I was

wondering whether you two need any more

money. I realize $150 a month is not a

very realistic figure for two people to

live on.

>> Three.

>> Three people.

>> Yeah. Three people.

I don't want Tish doing any lifting or

any heavy housework.

I don't like the idea of my wife going

down there to do it either. I want to

hire a good cleaning service to come in

once or twice a week and straighten the

place up.

Did uh

Tish put you up to this?

>> Absolutely not.

>> Look, I want you to be nicer to him.

You know, there's a lion in the Central

Park Zoo

who's been there for so many years. He's

had so little room to move around in

that he's lost all the strength in his

legs.

Hey, Tish.

Tish, come on. Let's go. Huh?

Tish,

>> it takes a little time. My ankles are

swollen.

Hey, look. Maybe you want to stay here.

>> I don't want to stay here, but it's I'm

not an invalid. It isn't a disease.

>> Come on, we're late.

>> Hey, be nice.

>> I am nice.

>> Be nicer.

>> Okay, I'm out.

>> [music]

[bell]

[music]

>> 6 months the movement of the baby

becomes more pronounced. It stretches

and kicks and sometimes stands on its

head.

[music]

In heaven, listen to [music] me.

Thou art in one and one in three.

Oh, self [music]

by them that I am.

We [music] are

holy are

holy

are

[music]

I want to go

Oh my papa.

Papa [music]

Christmas.

You know you [music] never should

tell me down here.

Leave it off [music] the bacon.

Go turkey. Take it all [music] if we

can.

Is it funny, man?

[music]

You never [music] told us. When we

finally get there, will we find love? No

way.

[music]

Can you see me drifting spread out and

shift

it out [music] like this?

How can you leave us like [music] this?

We [music] really would appreciate it.

up

for passing by. [music]

Are we over

[music] another

[music]

tell you what to do? What to do?

A little soft

[music]

clouds flashing cooling I

can turn the [music] fire

make

you

[music]

I want to go Oh,

[music]

okay.

[music]

I have

>> I'm tired.

>> I'm having a good time. Yeah, I have a

suggestion.

>> First good time I've had in 6 months.

>> I want to go home, Tad.

>> I told you not to come here.

>> Yeah, I see why now. What's your name?

Huh?

>> Don't do a jealous number [music] on me,

Tish.

>> Take me home.

>> Jesus. I feel like I'm married and I've

got a pregnant wife. I'm sick of it.

[music]

>> What's happening, man?

Holy face.

Holy life.

Holy [ __ ]

>> Don't anybody move.

[music] Old Macdonald had a farm. Ei

[music]

I

>> you put up the bail.

>> That's all right. Forget it.

I haven't been fair to you.

You're not the father

and I've been expecting you to treat me

like you were.

I'm moving in with them.

Do any good if I tried to stop you?

You want me to carry that for you?

>> No thanks. I can carry it myself.

Hey, what are you doing?

>> I'm packing my spices.

You better leave something here.

You might want to come back.

Hey man, how much I owe you?

>> I said forget it. It was only disturbing

the peace.

This thing wholesales for 50 bucks out

of cover. We're in good health.

>> Shall we?

>> Take good care of

[music]

>> [music]

[music]

>> Seventh month. The internal organs of

the baby are nearing their full

development and in some cases are now

capable of functioning outside the

mother.

>> Do you have any pictures [music] of Jay

when he was a baby?

>> I think so. Of course I do. I'd have to

look for them.

>> And this is the famous [music] baby

[ __ ]

Oh wow. I know him anywhere. He hasn't

changed. He hasn't changed at all.

Oh, look at him. He's so beautiful.

[music]

I bet the baby's going to look just like

him. Just like

just like his daddy.

See, baby.

See you, daddy.

Dish,

>> what's matter?

>> What is it?

>> That mean I can't sleep.

Oh,

>> I was lonely.

I don't want to be alone.

>> God, your feet are cold.

>> You're so warm.

8th month. The embryo is now a mature

infant, measuring some 19 in and

weighing around 6 lb. Now, we'll review

the Lama's breathing and expulsion

techniques and especially work on the

transition pant blow pattern or the blow

blow blow pattern which counteracts the

urge to push. The fathers who will be

going into the delivery room will learn

what to do to coach the mother during

the birth of the baby. Now, let's go

into the deep chest breathing.

Contraction begins. Take a deep

cleansing breath.

>> Beautiful.

>> Iron, calcium, BC, potassium. Iron,

calcium, BC, potassium. Iron, calcium.

Mhm.

>> Potassium. Here, baby. Iron, calcium,

BC, potassium. I feel wonderful. I love

you. Repeat after me. I love you, too.

>> I love you, too. The father should love

the mother of his child.

>> I'll be glad when I get my body back and

be able to go swimming again. It's all

your fault.

>> Oh, what?

>> Guilty. Guilty.

>> What would you like him to be? I called

Charlotte and she said that they're

basically two distinct classes of

Scorpio people. Materialists and

mystics. You materialist.

>> What would you like for him to be? A

mystic.

>> A mystic.

>> I'd like him to be someone who' change

the world. I love you.

>> You know, solve some serious problems.

You know, I think that'd be terrific.

You're not repeating after me.

>> Who's Charlotte?

I love you.

>> I lived for Charlotte before I met Tad.

She's my best friend. She's a political

animal in my life. You want to meet her?

>> Yeah. Okay.

>> You have to promise to wear your jacket.

My jacket.

>> Well, this is the place.

Yeah, we love it. We

>> um shall I uh show you people down here?

Do you want to let them go and do their

thing? And

>> patio.

Oh, wow.

Here. I'll just uh sit here and people

can do whatever you want. If

>> you need anything, I'm here.

>> I feel like a fool.

>> You look like a fool.

>> Garbage disposal,

wallto-wall carpeting,

swimming pool.

Oh, roll around his middle.

>> No, that he doesn't have.

>> Well, he he's not badl looking for one

of the enemy.

>> Jay's not the enemy.

>> Oh, yes, honey.

That is the enemy.

She has her hair done once a week. The

same time, the same place, the same

queen.

She's not there yet, but she is working

her way toward the day of blue hair.

I have a theory

that all the commercial dye American

women put on their head seeps through

the scalp and affects the brain.

Particularly that part that votes.

>> That's what you said. That is not what I

said.

>> That is what you said.

>> That's what you said.

>> Shut up, Dexter.

>> All right.

>> All right.

>> Why don't you try again?

>> What I meant was that a kid raised by a

middle-aged suburban couple,

>> she's talking about us, honey. A

middle-aged suburban couple,

>> right?

>> Is like sending it through a whole

useless thing. What thing? I don't know

what you're talking about.

>> If Tish were to change her mind and

raise it herself,

>> what thing?

>> Why do you want to plan a kid in this

world anyway, man? I mean, with

thermonuclear warfare and cities looking

like antills and

>> Thank you, Dexter.

If she were to change her mind and raise

the kid herself, she would be raising it

in the right order of the universe. You

raise it an unnatural generation behind.

She's talking about revolution. Man,

>> I am talking about the future. I am

talking about the future of your baby.

You're going to impress all of your

false values on it. And she would allow

it to learn for itself.

>> It may be that the hope of the future

has to be raised in the comfortable

middle class home. All the sham and

false values around it to see through

the sham and false values. How do we

know that this kid here, this kid in

here, after Suzanne and I screw it up,

which is your point,

won't grow up to be somebody to change

the world. And how we know that this kid

here, come on, partner.

Raised by you,

won't grow up to um

be the governor of California or the

vice president of the United States.

[laughter]

Brilliant bastard.

>> Are you all right?

>> Oh, sure. I had to lay down for a few

seconds.

>> Do you want me to rub your back?

They're good people, you know.

They have a nice life.

>> That's not life.

Have you seen dad lately?

>> No. Have you?

Mhm.

I ran into him at Papa Box last Friday

night.

>> Who's you with?

>> He was alone. You should call him, you

know.

>> Yeah, I know.

>> You're going to have to have someplace

to go when this is all over.

>> Yeah, I know.

>> Thanks. We enjoyed it.

Me too, Tish. Don't let them uh forget

to come Saturday.

>> Yeah, man. Come back.

>> As expecting parents, you owe it to

yourselves.

>> Oh, we'll be there. We promise.

>> Terrific.

>> TS. Carla, look who's here. Hey, TS. Hi.

>> How are you? Good.

>> Oh, good. Hey, man. Nice to see you

here. Hi. How are you? Listen, Chris.

Here, take this. It's really pretty.

We'll give you this one. Okay.

>> And here you take my side.

>> You don't want Well, okay.

>> Communist

That man has the right to sell anything

he damn well wants to sell.

>> We ain't going to play war.

>> Register communist.

>> Register guns.

>> Register communist.

>> Did you hear me?

>> Get Jimmy out of here.

There is a man who likes to play with

toy guns.

>> Right.

>> This man likes to go hunting.

>> That's right, too.

>> This man likes to kill. I call this man

a killer. And it all started right here.

I got these guns in this shop this

morning. Listen to me. If you're a

mother about to be a mother, a father,

or about to be a father, listen to me.

Nobody calls me a killer.

>> Who's responsible for this kind of

violence? Who's responsible for this

kind of violence? Who's responsible for

this kind of violence?

>> You are.

>> You are.

>> We are.

We're going to lay down our toy guns.

>> We should have somebody like you to

protect everybody, man.

>> [music]

[music]

>> Ninth month.

There it is. Sound of a heartbeat. loud

and clear.

>> Hey didd little the cat and the fiddle.

The cow jumped over the moon.

>> The little dog laughed to see such a

sport and the dish away.

>> Know what Sir Henry Reed said about

that. I prefer to think he said that

this rhyme commemorates the athletic

lunacy to which the strange conspiracy

of the cat and the fiddle incited the

cow.

Darling, I just thought of another name.

Walter. My grandfather's middle name was

Walter.

>> Walter J. Wilcox.

>> I still like William J the best. William

J. Wilox.

>> William J. Wilcox.

Now,

>> I've been thinking about nursing the

baby myself.

It'd be better for the baby.

I mean, he'd never be allergic to his

own mother's milk. Humans milk is for

humans. Cow's milk is more DDT.

I want to.

>> No. No, Tish. Absolutely not. Now, we

agreed on that. I must establish my

relationship with the baby as soon as

possible.

No.

>> [music]

>> This is a recording. You have reached a

disconnected number. Please be sure you

have the right number.

Uh, I'm going out for a while. I'll see

you later.

>> Where are you going?

>> Out.

Isn't it all right,

>> Tish? It's late and it's raining.

>> Don't do a parent number on me, Suzanne.

Please. You can do a parent number on

him when he's born, but but not on me

right now. I'm not a prisoner here.

>> Okay, Tish, that's enough.

I wouldn't go out if I were you. Well,

you're not me, are you?

>> Here,

take the station wagon.

>> I'm sorry.

It's all right.

Sometimes I do forget who's having the

baby.

Heat.

Heat.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

>> What the [ __ ]

Oh god.

[music]

What are you doing?

>> What does it look like?

I um I just woke up this morning, you

know. I flashed that I had to make your

breakfast.

I started even before the sun came up.

Look at the biscuits. See,

I know how a dog feels when when they

start tearing up paper.

I think we're about to have a birthday.

>> You've had a contraction.

I better get Suzanne.

>> No, no, wait. Please sit down. I want to

make you breakfast. Oh my god.

All right.

That's the best orange juice I've ever

tasted. [music]

>> Yeah, I I put the pulp in it, too. Uh

Suzanne doesn't, but I do.

>> Much better. Much better.

>> Yeah, I know.

The biscuits aren't quite done. Coffee,

right?

>> Don't look at me. I'm all blotched and

purple mugly.

>> You are absolutely beautiful. [music]

[music]

>> I don't know. It was so different

before.

It was so easy.

There was no father before.

You can't drink this coffee. It's

terrible.

>> Are you sure you don't want me to go get

Suzanne?

>> You know, I get confused, you know,

and jealous.

I'm possessive, you know. I hate feeling

like that. I hate it. I don't know. I I

never wanted, you know, any security

before. I didn't want it. But it's her

security. It's not mine. Security just

That's our baby. It's not her baby. You

know, she may she may think it is, but

>> [music]

>> I followed the recipe.

[music]

[music]

She's had a contraction.

>> Tish,

>> I'll call Dr. Sam.

>> Tish, when did it happen? How long ago?

>> Suzanne, please leave me alone. Huh? No,

>> of course I'm not going to leave you

alone.

>> Please,

>> darling, I know how you feel.

>> Come on. You don't know how I feel.

No, suppose I don't.

>> Tish, we love you. We love you so much.

Great.

>> Dr.

Where are your shoes?

>> Where are your shoes?

>> They're in the closet, sweetheart. On

the left hand side next.

[music]

>> [music]

[music]

>> Okay, T. It's time to get on the table

now.

Relax

your forehead now. Relax your forehead.

Focus.

[panting]

Blow.

>> Blow. Blow. Blow.

Relax your forehead. Blow.

Relax your forehead. Relax your

forehead. Focus. Focus. Relax your

forehead. Relax your forehead. Relax

your forehead. Focus. Focus. Relax your

forehead.

Focus. That's a girl. That's a girl.

Okay, time to move again now.

You like the forehead now?

>> It's really something.

>> Okay. You want some ice chips? No.

Beautiful. Yeah. I just I hope it go

until the doctor tells us to focus.

Don't push until

blow blow blow blow blow out the camera.

Blow, blow, blow, blow, blow. That's

good. Relax. Blow, blow. Blow out the

candle. Blow, blow, blow, blow. Relax

your forehead. Focus. Blow, blow, blow.

Keep your focus.

[snorts]

[sighs]

>> When do you think I can push? Doctor,

can you push with the next contraction?

>> You can push with the next contraction.

>> Now remember, two times in breath and

hold.

>> One

deep breath and hold it. Up.

>> That's it. Elbows up.

>> 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15. Deep

breath up.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15.

>> Another one.

>> Keep your elbows out.

>> 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15. Very

good. Very good.

Here

it comes.

[sighs and snorts]

>> [snorts]

>> 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

>> I can.

>> Yes, you can. Deep breath. Hold. Come

up. 1 2 3 4 5 6

>> Okay, fish. Don't push. Don't push. Here

comes the head. Blow. Blow.

>> Here comes the head. Relax and blow.

Blow. Blow. It's clearing.

>> [panting]

>> I'm suctioning out the nose and mouth

now.

Head's rotating.

A little push for the shoulders. Just a

little one.

>> Push down. Push down.

>> Good. Here come the shoulders. Relax

now. No more pushing. Here comes the

baby.

It's a boy. [laughter]

[crying]

>> [crying]

[laughter]

[laughter and crying]

>> Isn't he adorable?

6 lb 9 oz. Imagine

Oh, look. Look. He's smiling.

>> Oh, no. He's not smiling. He's not old

enough yet.

>> Yes, you are smiling.

>> Hey, can we get down to business?

>> $2,000 in cash

>> and an extra hundred cuz it's a boy.

I'd like I'd like to buy him something.

>> I think he ought to have at least one

Dylan album.

>> I'll make sure he gets them all.

>> Well, we should be going.

>> Oh, I was just going to offer you all a

drink. [crying]

No, we we should go.

>> Hey, uh

have you ever thought of moving out of,

you know, all the smog in the city?

I bet he'd really love to grow up on a

farm with real horses and fresh springs

and stuff.

You have a very beautiful son, Mrs.

Wilcox. Thank you.

I hope he has a wonderful life. We'll

try.

>> Not too hard. [laughter]

Mrs. Colch, will you want me the

finicular, please?

>> Oh, of course. [crying]

We'll keep in touch. All right.

>> No,

you know, if we run into each other

in the You're in a movie somewhere. We

just nod. Okay.

>> Okay.

Don't you worry about her. I take very

good care of her until she's all well.

People

come,

people [music] go.

That's the way it is. I know it [music]

is. Taking life

day by day. [music] That's all I know.

As for [music] why

skies all blue,

one and one may [music] tear.

Don't ask me why. Why? [music]

Why? Won't even try.

>> [music]

>> People laugh,

people cry.

That's the [music] way it is. I know it

is. Living life

[music] till they die.

That's all I know.

As [music] for birds

flying high

in the sunshine.

Don't ask me why. Why? [music] Why? I

only know

what I know. [music]

People come,

people go.

Got to get going.

As for birds [music]

flying high

in the sunshine.

Don't [music] ask me why. Why? Why?

I only [music] know

what I know.

People [music]

come, [singing]

people go.

Got to get going.

[music]

>> [music]

[music]