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1
00:00:02,020 --> 00:00:04,180
Probe.
2
00:00:05,180 --> 00:00:11,220
Typical. Could you hand me the probe,
please? That's just how it starts!
3
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:13,940
The probe.
4
00:00:13,940 --> 00:00:18,540
I'm sorry? Next thing you'll want
is...the mirror.
5
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:23,220
Yes, you're right...
You dentists are all the same.
6
00:00:23,220 --> 00:00:26,940
Sorry,
do you have a problem with dentists?
7
00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:32,220
You don't want to know. You're right
there! My ex-husband was a dentist.
8
00:00:32,220 --> 00:00:39,500
I worked alongside him faithfully
for 15 years, only to be discarded
like a used swab.
9
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:42,060
That reminds me... Swab, please.
10
00:00:42,060 --> 00:00:44,780
You're all alike, you dentists,
11
00:00:44,780 --> 00:00:48,140
with your fast cars
and your fast women!
12
00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:52,660
Which dental school
did your ex-husband actually go to?
13
00:00:52,660 --> 00:00:54,820
You're just after one thing.
14
00:00:54,820 --> 00:01:00,540
Yep... The swab, thanks. Now, would
you be quiet and do as you're told?
15
00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:06,740
That's just what HE said -
just before he ran off with his
young, attractive dental assistant.
16
00:01:06,740 --> 00:01:13,500
Well, there's no danger
of that happening here. Are you
saying I'm not good enough for you?
17
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:19,300
I'm sorry for what has happened
to you in your past,
but you have a job to do!
18
00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:26,540
Next you'll be saying it's not me,
it's you! It's definitely you. There
are two of us in this relationship.
19
00:01:26,540 --> 00:01:30,780
PHONE RINGS
20
00:01:31,780 --> 00:01:36,660
Who is this?
21
00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:39,300
I don't think so!
22
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:44,740
Who was that?
She said she was a patient,
23
00:01:44,740 --> 00:01:47,740
but I know she was another assistant!
24
00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:51,620
Ah. ..Look, I'm sorry about this.
25
00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:55,980
I've tried, but I'm afraid
this isn't working, is it?
26
00:01:55,980 --> 00:01:58,780
That's what HE said.
27
00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:21,300
Janey! Janey! What the hell
are you doing in there?!
28
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:24,220
Flossing - like you tell us to.
29
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:27,900
Yes.
But flossing can harm your health
30
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:32,700
when your father
wants into the bathroom! Oh, Dad!
31
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:36,100
I have to go to work.
I have to go to school.
32
00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:41,780
It's a draw. You're not being clever.
So how come I'm in here
and you're not?
33
00:02:41,780 --> 00:02:47,340
Hello, Dad. Is it? Mind
if I nip in first? Yes, I DO mind.
34
00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:50,660
Is there a queue?
Yes, and this is a V.
35
00:02:51,660 --> 00:02:57,620
Why don't you use your own loo?
You know why.
OK, I'll take another look at it.
36
00:02:57,620 --> 00:03:02,140
It was you taking a look at it
that broke it in the first place!
37
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:07,420
Does anything in this house work
after you've looked at it? The TV!
38
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:13,020
Can I go first?
No. You're doing nothing all day.
I'm waiting in for the plumber.
39
00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:18,180
I'll be quicker if you stop talking.
What does she mean? ..Don't answer.
40
00:03:18,180 --> 00:03:22,700
Ben. What? May I have a word?
Mm-hm. In the bedroom.
41
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:26,260
But... It's private. Oh, Sue...
I'm...
42
00:03:27,860 --> 00:03:30,540
Thanks, Dad!
43
00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:33,260
Oh, Janey!
44
00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:38,260
What!
45
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,980
Look. Janey's diary.
46
00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:47,340
Where did you get that?
I found it. You FOUND it?
47
00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:52,620
In what sense? Found...as in
search of her personal possessions?
48
00:03:52,620 --> 00:04:00,220
As in when Fleming found penicillin -
he was looking for something else.
What were YOU looking for?
49
00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:07,260
What was Fleming looking for? The
point is, I found it. Eureka! Return
it before all hell breaks loose.
50
00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:11,900
You don't want Janey to think...
You've read it, haven't you?!
51
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,820
Yes, I did.
52
00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:18,580
And it's...it's horrible.
53
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,860
Why? Um... What does it say?
54
00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:25,900
She says, "Mum doesn't trust me."
55
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:32,780
And? Isn't that enough?!
Well, you DON'T trust her -
you read her diary!
56
00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:37,980
The point is, she's noticed, so
how can we have an open relationship
57
00:04:37,980 --> 00:04:44,580
with a free flow of confidences
between mother and daughter?
What the hell do you want that for?!
58
00:04:44,580 --> 00:04:46,820
So I know what she's up to.
59
00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:50,180
Well...
60
00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:56,060
What IS she up to? Oh, the
usual stuff. What? What usual stuff?
61
00:04:56,060 --> 00:04:58,940
I can't tell you that. It's private!
62
00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:01,580
I mean, does she...you know...?
63
00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:03,100
What?
64
00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:05,660
Um, you know... Nothing. OK.
65
00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:08,020
Sh...
66
00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:16,140
Oh, come on! What does she say
about me? Nothing. Nothing? There
can't be nothing. I'm her father!
67
00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:22,180
Look for yourself. I don't want to
get involved. Maybe that's why Janey
68
00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:26,180
Great. What a wonderful sense
of achievement(!)
69
00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:32,300
Yep, goodbye, brooding resentment,
hello, total indifference.
70
00:05:39,020 --> 00:05:41,620
Nick! ..Nick!
71
00:05:42,620 --> 00:05:48,380
I'd leave it for a couple of minutes
if I were you. ..Why?
72
00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:52,260
Because I'm next!
Hey...Mike! Michael!
73
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:58,580
Wavy lines.
74
00:05:58,580 --> 00:06:00,820
No.
75
00:06:05,340 --> 00:06:07,860
Wavy lines.
76
00:06:08,860 --> 00:06:11,380
No.
77
00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:14,380
Wavy lines.
78
00:06:16,260 --> 00:06:18,540
No.
79
00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:21,180
Wavy lines.
80
00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:25,060
No. ..Wavy lines. No.
81
00:06:25,060 --> 00:06:30,500
Wavy lines. Yes. Hey!
Wow, Mum! I'm telepathic!
82
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:37,180
What am I thinking? Mum wants you
to lay the table while I get a beer.
83
00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:43,580
Hello, dear. Nice day at work?
I won't answer that
but I appreciate the question.
84
00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:49,500
So, did the plumber turn up? No.
Mmm. Isn't that always the way? Mmm.
85
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:54,380
You take a day off and what happens?
YOU tell ME. You're the expert.
86
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:57,140
I had another look at your toilet.
87
00:06:57,140 --> 00:07:03,780
Oh, God! No, no, no! Nick,
please...! Dad, Dad, Dad! It's OK.
It's just a bit cracked... In half.
88
00:07:03,780 --> 00:07:07,300
But we're getting a new one,
aren't we?
89
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:12,260
You idiot! I knew you were going
to say that. He's telepathic today.
90
00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:15,140
Dad, language!
91
00:07:15,140 --> 00:07:17,940
Hi, Mum!
92
00:07:17,940 --> 00:07:23,780
I got an A for my French project!
93
00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:28,900
Really? If Janey says she got an A,
she got an A. It's a matter of trust!
94
00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:32,340
I feel
one should trust one's children.
95
00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:37,980
Where did you read this? I didn't
read it. You just found it somewhere?
96
00:07:37,980 --> 00:07:43,700
I simply engage with my children,
and, in return, they notice me. Ah!
97
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:49,620
What are you doing in there?
There's a bit of old pizza
stuck to the back wall...
98
00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:51,660
Got it!
99
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:57,900
That is the most revolting thing
I've ever seen.
That's because you're out all day.
100
00:07:57,900 --> 00:08:02,940
Can I have a party because I got an A
in French? That's how it works(!)
101
00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:09,580
A for French, P for Party, N for No!
Of course you can! Doesn't anyone
102
00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:15,860
How about next Saturday? Your father
and I are staying with the Pattersons
in Oxford that night. Are you mad?
103
00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:18,420
I can have a party while you're away?
104
00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:24,140
Why not? You don't want
your stuffy old parents
hanging around, checking up on you.
105
00:08:24,140 --> 00:08:26,620
Hello! Do I exist?!
106
00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:30,260
What sort of party will it be?
I'll tell you...
107
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:35,820
Ear-splitting music,
stains on the carpet,
groping in the bedrooms...!
108
00:08:35,820 --> 00:08:42,900
Should I take notes? Don't worry,
I'll keep an eye on things.
Yeah! Yeah, like you're invited(!)
109
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:49,580
I know lots of boys. Nick'll keep
an eye on things. All my fears
have vanished as the morning dew(!)
110
00:08:49,580 --> 00:08:54,540
I'll be there as well. You'll be
at Colin's. I don't like Colin!
111
00:08:54,540 --> 00:09:01,420
Start liking him, or I'll tell
everyone that you still wet the bed.
I don't! Who will they believe?
112
00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:05,300
I'll put your photo
on the internet. Michael!
113
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:12,420
So, that's agreed! No, it's not
agreed. I'm sorry. No, I'm not happy
about this. You know how I feel.
114
00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:16,620
If you want to go ahead
with this party, it's fine.
115
00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:20,820
Just trample over
the tattered remnants of my dignity.
116
00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:23,460
Thanks, Dad! Yay! Party!
117
00:09:30,460 --> 00:09:32,500
No!
118
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:40,860
Just stop it! We've made our
decision. We've got to stick to it.
119
00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:44,620
YOU made our decision.
And I'm happy with it.
120
00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:46,820
Really? ..Good.
121
00:09:48,140 --> 00:09:52,020
You're happy that our daughter
and her friends
122
00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:57,700
are alone with some spotty herberts
high on testosterone. Good(!)
123
00:09:57,700 --> 00:10:01,420
It'll be like the monkey house
at London Zoo!
124
00:10:01,420 --> 00:10:06,180
Couldn't you suffer in silence?
Let it eat away inside me?
125
00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:10,740
That's what I do. Lie to yourself.
Life's easier that way.
126
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:16,140
You were lying to yourself about
being happy? No, I was lying to YOU.
127
00:10:16,140 --> 00:10:20,620
I knew I should have kept
that manual when I married you.
128
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:25,380
Mrs Norton has my mobile number.
If anything is wrong, she'll call.
129
00:10:25,380 --> 00:10:30,500
We've done all we can. We might
as well enjoy the evening. Oh, yes(!)
130
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:34,700
And you believe that?
Of course not. I'm lying!
131
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:39,380
Oh, boy, it's going to be
a really long journey, this one!
132
00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:48,260
There's an off-licence. We'd better
get a bottle. Considering your mood,
we'd better get a crate.
133
00:10:51,260 --> 00:10:56,380
Right, is there anything else?
There just has to be...
134
00:10:56,380 --> 00:10:58,420
somewhere.
135
00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:04,140
Waasuup! Waasuup! Going to a party
in London tonight, mate!
136
00:11:04,140 --> 00:11:09,940
It's a long way to go. It'll be wild.
Some girl's been given
the run of her house.
137
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:13,740
You're kidding. No.
The parents are out. Idiots!
138
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:18,020
Every drunken yob
within 300 miles will go! Come along!
139
00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:24,100
It'll be wall-to-wall totty!
We'd better get there early while
there's something left to trash!
140
00:11:28,420 --> 00:11:31,260
What will we tell the Pattersons?
141
00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:38,700
That we had to stop the Four
Horsemen Of The Apocalypse trashing
our house and we may be late.
142
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:44,460
There are thousands of parties
on a Saturday night.
It won't be our house!
143
00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:49,500
Of course it's our house! They said
the girl's parents were idiots!
144
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:54,260
We'll have a quick look round.
What if Janey sees us?
145
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:59,300
We'll say we've forgotten something.
Like the fact that we trust her?
146
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:04,180
It's our house, they're
our children! Why shouldn't we...?
147
00:12:04,180 --> 00:12:09,580
Spy on them? Yeah... No!
If we're open about it...
148
00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:16,020
You know,
I mean, just show them that we care,
see if everything's hunky-dory.
149
00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:20,580
What else can they do but
respect our frankness and honesty?
150
00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:27,140
Best if we park round the corner.
..Yeah.
151
00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:31,020
I can't hear anything. Can you?
152
00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:33,460
No. That's good.
153
00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:38,060
That's bad. Hmm? If there's
no music, they're not dancing.
154
00:12:38,060 --> 00:12:41,980
If they're not dancing,
what ARE they doing?
155
00:12:41,980 --> 00:12:44,900
Conducting a satanic ritual(?)
156
00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:49,340
I hadn't thought of that.
Are you insane?!
157
00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:55,940
Come on! It's just one little look.
Lot's wife said the same thing!
Come on! Don't fight it.
158
00:12:55,940 --> 00:13:02,740
This could be your only chance
to find out what your kids get up to
when you're not there.
159
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:06,740
What's the harm in one little look?
160
00:13:08,460 --> 00:13:11,100
You know you want to.
161
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:22,740
Strange...
No Janey, no Michael, no Nick...
162
00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:27,900
Under any other circumstances,
that would be my idea of paradise.
163
00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:38,860
(Where is everybody?)
164
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:45,660
You remember teenage parties! I know
where they'll all be! Of course! The
pub. The bedrooms! Ben! Come back!
165
00:13:45,660 --> 00:13:49,500
Let's go before the guests arrive.
DOOR OPENS
166
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:52,540
Come in! Drinks are in the kitchen!
167
00:13:54,780 --> 00:13:58,980
Where's the wrinklies? ..Nice gaff.
168
00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:07,740
Look what you've done.
Now we're stuck here. OK, calm down!
169
00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:12,020
We'll explain why we're here,
and then walk out.
170
00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:15,740
Over my dead body.
It was a figure of speech! OK.
171
00:14:15,740 --> 00:14:19,780
It's only Janey! Who already thinks
I don't trust her.
172
00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:26,580
If she catches me here, she'll lose
all respect for me and you'll be
responsible for keeping her in line.
173
00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:29,380
You're right. We're stuck here.
174
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:37,420
This is awful! It's not that bad.
I can't stand the Pattersons. Mmm.
175
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:40,300
We're all alone in our bedroom!
176
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:43,060
Just a nice bit of peace and quiet.
177
00:14:43,060 --> 00:14:47,460
THUMPING BASS
178
00:14:47,460 --> 00:14:50,820
It's all right.
I've got a way out of this!
179
00:14:50,820 --> 00:14:56,300
Drink! We can't drink wine!
Why not? We haven't got a corkscrew.
180
00:14:56,300 --> 00:15:01,220
The pen is mightier than the sword!
That's a pencil. It doesn't matter.
181
00:15:01,220 --> 00:15:06,260
All you've got to do
is push the cork in like so...
182
00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:11,220
Hello?
183
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:14,980
Hello, Mrs Norton.
..Ah! It's Mrs Norton!
184
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:20,220
I thought I'd better let you know
that the music is a bit loud.
185
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:24,260
Is it? I'm surprised
you can't hear it where YOU are!
186
00:15:24,260 --> 00:15:30,620
Well, it would be odd if we could
hear it in Oxford, because that's
where we are. Yes, I know that.
187
00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:35,660
Well, I'll tell Janey to turn it
down...on the phone...from Oxford.
188
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:41,620
Are you all right? Yes.
Well, it sounds pretty noisy
where you are, too!
189
00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:46,780
Yes. A car radio! ..I'm losing
you. We're going into a tunnel.
190
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,820
A tunnel...in Oxford? You've got it.
191
00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:54,580
Look at this. Easy as... Oh, God!
192
00:15:55,900 --> 00:16:00,620
Things are as you predicted.
Loud music, stains on the carpet...
193
00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:06,260
What was next on the list? Eh?
Ah, yes! ..Groping in the bedroom!
194
00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:10,060
Hey...I give good list!
So I believe!
195
00:16:10,060 --> 00:16:12,780
Red or white? White. Cheers!
196
00:16:13,780 --> 00:16:15,820
Cheers. Oh, yeah!
197
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:25,980
I feel like a naughty teenager!
I can pop down and get you one!
198
00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:30,020
Put your things in here!
ALL: Cheers!
199
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:35,020
You can put your things in MY room.
200
00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:38,060
Is it true that you wet the bed?
201
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:41,100
Janey!
202
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:52,340
Who'd have thought
a kid would bring food to a party?!
203
00:16:52,340 --> 00:16:56,420
Kids today are ready for anything...
..God! What?
204
00:16:56,420 --> 00:17:01,380
When you say "kids today", you know
you're getting old. You are...
205
00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:06,020
mistaken...in mistakenly thinking
you are getting old...
206
00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:12,060
You say the nicest things
in the most convoluted way.
I know. I'm so glad to hear it!
207
00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:14,740
I fancy a bit of dessert. Mmm.
208
00:17:14,740 --> 00:17:18,180
So, I wonder
if the kid's got any fruit.
209
00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:22,060
Oh, yeah. Strawberry flavoured...
210
00:17:25,620 --> 00:17:29,860
You're so right.
Kids today don't forget anything!
211
00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:34,780
Good - they're being sensible.
He should have taken them with him!
212
00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:37,100
DOOR OPENS
213
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:43,780
Oh, that was close!
214
00:17:43,780 --> 00:17:50,580
Oh, it's ridiculous, Susan!
We're in our own bed, we're married
and we're afraid of getting caught!
215
00:17:50,580 --> 00:17:53,220
I know. Exciting, isn't it?
216
00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:55,380
Yeah...
217
00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:58,460
Oh, yeah! What are you doing?
218
00:17:58,460 --> 00:18:02,500
I don't know -
let's just see what turns up!
219
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,540
Come on, Kevin!
220
00:18:05,540 --> 00:18:08,380
- It's Declan.
- Whatever...
221
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:13,420
This is my parents' room!
What are you doing?
222
00:18:13,420 --> 00:18:17,700
- What does it look like?
- Get out!
223
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:24,220
You'll probably break the bed.
No-one's had sex in it for years!
..Bloody kids!
224
00:18:31,580 --> 00:18:37,540
This is awful.
Well, it's you who got us back here,
and all for nothing.
225
00:18:37,540 --> 00:18:40,380
She's being perfectly responsible.
226
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:47,660
Now we're stuck in our bedroom, being
groped by teenagers and listening to
jokes about our waning sexual powers.
227
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:51,340
Things couldn't get worse.
Yeah, they could.
228
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:55,500
I wanna go toilet.
229
00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:08,180
So, it looks like
it's just you and me, then.
230
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,940
No - just you.
231
00:19:26,820 --> 00:19:34,060
You cannot use that bathroom. The
water's turned off and the toilet's
got a bloody great crack in it!
232
00:19:34,060 --> 00:19:41,500
You can't use that bathroom either.
Why not? What if Janey catches you?
She'll get over it. Well, I won't.
233
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:47,220
It's 11.30. The party will be over
by 3.00. It's only another 4 hours.
234
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,540
All right. Fine.
235
00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:56,500
So what do you do? I'm at school.
236
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,540
Yeah?
237
00:19:58,540 --> 00:20:00,780
Did that once.
238
00:20:00,780 --> 00:20:06,660
So what do you do? I'm an astronaut.
We don't have astronauts in England.
239
00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:11,900
Yeah, we do. There's
that European space...thingy.
240
00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:15,780
Aha! So how many times
have you been into space?
241
00:20:16,820 --> 00:20:22,980
It's kind of top secret,
and I don't like to brag. Too bad,
because that would really turn me on.
242
00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:25,220
Seven.
243
00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:27,780
In fact, I'm going up tomorrow.
244
00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:33,220
Tonight is my last night on Earth.
Is this some bad chat-up line?
245
00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:36,500
Time will tell.
246
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:39,660
So do you really want
to sleep with me?
247
00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:42,380
Because Janey told me you were gay.
248
00:20:44,180 --> 00:20:47,580
I just haven't met the right woman
yet.
249
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:51,820
Maybe in space,
250
00:20:51,820 --> 00:20:54,180
or down here with you.
251
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,380
Was I even close?
252
00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:10,660
Look, I could use the basin!
253
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:15,620
You can't! This isn't the
Young Conservatives' Dinner Dance!
254
00:21:15,620 --> 00:21:19,660
Look, Susan...
just work with me on this, OK?
255
00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:21,900
These are desperate times.
256
00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:26,500
The water is off. The toilet
is broken. Live with it. ..Ben!
257
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:30,740
Just looking for a vase!
258
00:21:32,860 --> 00:21:37,260
Hello? ..Oh, hello, Mrs Norton.
Everything all right?
259
00:21:38,420 --> 00:21:41,380
Oh, dear. Is it still too loud?
260
00:21:42,380 --> 00:21:45,620
I wouldn't know, being in Oxford.
261
00:21:45,620 --> 00:21:49,980
Yes, that's all very well, but I...
Oh...
262
00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:53,020
That is disgraceful!
263
00:21:54,020 --> 00:21:56,460
There's somebody upstairs!
264
00:21:56,460 --> 00:21:59,100
He's... He's...
265
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:04,060
He's urinating out of the window.
266
00:22:05,060 --> 00:22:07,340
Ben!
267
00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:11,500
Ah!
268
00:22:14,220 --> 00:22:19,260
There's a woman there now,
and she's slammed the window on him.
269
00:22:19,260 --> 00:22:24,780
He looks jolly angry...
and now they're having a blazing row!
270
00:22:24,780 --> 00:22:30,900
You can't stop me...! You're
upsetting the neighbours. I don't
care! That's why I had to do it.
271
00:22:30,900 --> 00:22:37,860
I'm going to use the other bathroom,
because I have to do it. You can't!
You just watch me!
272
00:22:37,860 --> 00:22:40,380
Ben, no! Ben! Oh, God!
273
00:22:59,620 --> 00:23:03,100
You all right, Declan?
274
00:23:04,340 --> 00:23:07,100
That is marvellous(!)
275
00:23:07,100 --> 00:23:09,900
Just great(!) Soaked to the skin!
276
00:23:22,460 --> 00:23:26,620
KNOCK AT DOOR
277
00:23:28,780 --> 00:23:34,820
Janey, the door's locked and I
don't think there's anyone in there.
This is always happening. ..Let me.
278
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:43,260
That's disgusting! Oh, God! Oh...
279
00:23:43,260 --> 00:23:46,060
All yours. Ta.
280
00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:52,020
KNOCK AT DOOR
281
00:23:52,020 --> 00:23:57,620
Oh, you all right? You pulled yet?
Yeah, Kevin AND Declan. Oh, nice(!)
282
00:23:57,620 --> 00:24:02,020
I think someone's twisted
my bra strap. Can you look? Sure.
283
00:24:02,020 --> 00:24:08,580
Oh... When will they learn it's
not like opening a can of lager!
284
00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:12,340
Are there any towels in here?
I don't know.
285
00:24:25,700 --> 00:24:28,900
Hello. All right?
286
00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:34,700
It's great...except for Declan.
287
00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:34,700
No, where?
288
00:24:34,700 --> 00:24:39,100
On his...you know.
Oh, my God. Why? So you can find it!
289
00:24:41,420 --> 00:24:47,780
I can't find any soap.
There'll be some by the bath.
Hang on. ...There it is.
290
00:24:47,780 --> 00:24:50,060
Mind if I use the toilet?
291
00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:53,940
It's only a number one.
292
00:24:59,580 --> 00:25:02,460
Hello, girls. Oh, in your dreams!
293
00:25:07,620 --> 00:25:10,580
Oh...yes!
294
00:25:27,220 --> 00:25:30,020
Nick!
295
00:25:32,420 --> 00:25:34,940
Oh, hi, Dad.
296
00:25:36,900 --> 00:25:39,580
Nick, I need your help!
297
00:25:39,580 --> 00:25:42,660
Pardon? I need your help, Nick.
298
00:25:42,660 --> 00:25:46,780
Once more? Oh, for God's sake.
I was enjoying that!
299
00:25:46,780 --> 00:25:51,660
Janey has taken all my clothes,
and then all these girls started...
300
00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:54,300
Dad, we've all been there.
301
00:25:54,300 --> 00:25:57,100
Nick, just get me a towel.
302
00:25:58,700 --> 00:26:01,660
Oh, are you doing this deliberately?
303
00:26:01,660 --> 00:26:04,620
Yeah. Get me a towel, Nick.
304
00:26:06,620 --> 00:26:08,700
Come on!
305
00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:15,860
Listen, you've got to get me back to
my bedroom without Janey noticing,
OK? What's in it for me?
306
00:26:15,860 --> 00:26:21,100
A life is at stake. Whose? Yours!
KNOCK AT DOOR
307
00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:24,260
Hurry up! Declan's being sick.
308
00:26:24,260 --> 00:26:29,220
Again?! He's a bottomless pit!
Won't be a second! What do I do now?
309
00:26:29,220 --> 00:26:34,020
Hang on! What? You're supposed to be
in Oxford! Ah-h-h!
310
00:26:34,020 --> 00:26:36,260
All right.
311
00:26:36,980 --> 00:26:40,820
Climb out the window,
shimmy up the drainpipe,
312
00:26:40,820 --> 00:26:47,340
put your right foot on the boiler,
slide, swing your left leg across
and you are at your bedroom window.
313
00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:51,780
What?
Well, it always works for me. Yeah.
314
00:26:51,780 --> 00:26:54,460
KNOCKING
315
00:26:54,460 --> 00:27:00,500
Just trust me. That's it,
I'm staying. Nick, I'm serious!
I'll let him puke in your room.
316
00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:03,220
Just a minute! Come on, let's go!
317
00:27:03,220 --> 00:27:07,820
Let's go! OK, let's go, let's go...!
I've got it... Yep!
318
00:27:07,820 --> 00:27:09,940
Drainpipe! I'm stuck...
319
00:27:09,940 --> 00:27:16,620
You're gonna have to pull me back...
You're gonna...! Pull me back...!
OK, Dad. Back in... I've got you!
320
00:27:19,820 --> 00:27:22,140
Oh, dear...
321
00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:25,100
Sorry about that, Dad!
322
00:27:31,260 --> 00:27:34,020
Oh... Hi, darling.
323
00:27:36,740 --> 00:27:40,780
MOBILE RINGS
324
00:27:43,420 --> 00:27:47,060
Hello, Mrs Norton...
Oh, hello, Janey!
325
00:27:47,060 --> 00:27:49,500
How's it...?
326
00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:51,460
Your father's where?
327
00:27:53,900 --> 00:27:56,460
He's doing what?
328
00:27:58,260 --> 00:28:01,020
How extraordinary!
329
00:28:03,020 --> 00:28:05,620
Yes, I can see why you're upset.
330
00:28:05,620 --> 00:28:09,900
Well, don't worry,
I'll come and sort it out at once...
331
00:28:11,660 --> 00:28:13,900
..except I can't!
332
00:28:14,940 --> 00:28:17,580
Because I'm in Oxford,
333
00:28:17,580 --> 00:28:20,700
and your father's taken the car.
334
00:28:20,700 --> 00:28:24,220
So, I'll...
I'll see you in the morning.
335
00:28:25,500 --> 00:28:27,860
Give my love to Dad!
28934
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