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1
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,280
Who's this guy now?
2
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,360
Oh, he's Connell,
from Normal People. Oh.
3
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:14,040
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
He looks like him,
4
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:15,680
doesn't he? Ah, little peach!
5
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,920
Loving the peach costume, Rose.
See you, then. Have a good day.
6
00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:20,480
Mwah! She looks great.
7
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,480
What's the book, Kev? Have you read
Call Me By Your Name, Anne?
8
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,680
I have, yeah, years ago.
I don't remember anything
9
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,240
about a peach, though...
Oh. Very funny, Liz.
10
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,640
No, it's James and the
Giant Peach, of course.
11
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,360
Rose, Rose, remember,
try not to sit down.
12
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,160
Love you! Move quicker.
13
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,760
Shh...
14
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,240
Did you forget? No.
15
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,200
No, not at all. Just haven't...
16
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:50,040
haven't got my...bits and bobs
out yet, so... Ha-ha! Silly.
17
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:54,360
Oh! It's the...
18
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,920
Umbrella. It's a book by Will Self.
Off you go, there.
19
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:08,400
Here we go.
20
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,160
There.
21
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,280
And that's, er...
That's Where's Wally?, so...
22
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,160
So, right...
23
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:17,400
Bye, guys.
24
00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,680
Oh, er, decaf, please.
25
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:29,120
No caffeine for me for another year.
Ha! Oh, God, I'm sick of March
26
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,800
already! It's just constant
dress-up, children's parties,
27
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,240
then it's bloody Easter egg hunts.
Then, to top it off, it's shitting
28
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Mother's Day! You going to turn down
your Mother of the Year Award
29
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,840
again, then? I love Mother's Day.
I love that there's one day that
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00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,720
the world remembers they came out
of a woman. What are you going to be
31
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,680
doing, Liz? Lee's got the kids
this year, so I'm hoping they'll get
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00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,160
diarrhoea in time.
33
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,160
HE TUTS
34
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,920
Let bloody Jill see what
she's bloody missing. Oh, Amanda!
35
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,600
Are you doing anything lovely for
Mother's Day? Yeah, actually, yeah.
36
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,640
I'm having lunch with
my mother. She's, er,
37
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,400
coming down from Cheltenham
especially. You've got a mother?!
38
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,560
You doing anything nice
for Mother's Day?
39
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:19,760
My mammy's coming over, yeah.
I've told her all about your cafe.
40
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:22,160
She can't wait to meet you. Hmm.
41
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:27,080
Only two more sleeps. Until what,
you get your skin tags off? No,
42
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,160
till Mother's Day. Aw! All my
favourite things in one day! Aw!
43
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:35,040
My mammy, a lie-in,
breakfast in bed, opening presents,
44
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:38,920
kisses from the children, a pound
of marzipan, bobbing for apples,
45
00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:42,320
kittens for the day, walnuts...
I think Anne's malfunctioning.
46
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:43,800
..a roll down the hill.
47
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,360
SHE GIGGLES
48
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,360
Huh! Huh-huh!
49
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,080
have a little cheese plate
out in the garden, or...
50
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,200
Or we could watch
that new documentary, erm,
51
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,080
about the octopus.
52
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,800
Yeah, thanks, but, er,
got to get going.
53
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,840
Yeah, no, of course. I said
I'd watch it with Mother, anyway.
54
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:11,120
You... You doing anything nice
for Mother's Day?
55
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,560
There's six of you?!
Are you all builders? No, just me.
56
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,600
One's an accountant, three are
firemen... Three are firemen? Yeah.
57
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,800
Three are firemen? Yeah.
58
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,960
SHE LAUGHS
Three are firemen?! Yeah. Firemen!
59
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,320
Hmm. Oh, my God! Yeah.
60
00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,800
Er, I found this. Do you want it?
61
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,680
For me? It's just a spare tap.
I found it in the back of the van.
62
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,240
I noticed the one in the
en suite was knackered, so...
63
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:42,280
I was only going to dump it
otherwise. Oh, my God!
64
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,320
I... I love it. Thank you
65
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,400
so much! All right.
I'll see you Monday, then. OK.
66
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,320
Yeah. Thank you, Garry,
that's a date...
67
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,440
A day. A day in the calendar.
Thank you, Garry, bye!
68
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,600
Children, breakfast
is ready! Come on!
69
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,680
Mum, Mother! Yes?
70
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,200
Your porridge is ready!
71
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,880
Ooh, lovely! And did you
make it with milk? Yeah.
72
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,920
Oh, no, I can't have
it with milk, love.
73
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,360
CHILDREN PLAY IN BACKGROUND
74
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,760
PHONE RINGS
75
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:36,600
Why are you calling me from
upstairs? Julia, why are the kids on
76
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,400
the trampoline? You know I need
bed rest after the vasectomy.
77
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,080
Paul, love, you are aware it's
Mother's Day, yes? Oh, shit,
78
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,680
I've got to call my mum!
79
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:44,880
LOUD THUD
80
00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,480
DOORBELL RINGS
81
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,480
Oh!
82
00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:58,320
Are they for me? Why are you
all tarted up? Oh, your sister's
83
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,480
FaceTiming me at 11.
84
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,240
Oh, they're lovely!
85
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,800
Thank you, Julia.
Happy Mother's Day, Mother. Oh!
86
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,080
Ah...
87
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,280
Look!
88
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,800
"All my love, Emily!"
89
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:16,680
Both of us! It just says, Emily!
Oh, Emily!
90
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,080
What a total bitch.
91
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,320
Is it weird doing Mother's Day
without the boys? Yeah.
92
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,760
They always make me
a crappy little card.
93
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:28,400
Charlie brings me a bowl of
dry cereal in bed,
94
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,720
usually around 4am. Well, why
didn't Lee swap weekends with you,
95
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,240
so you could have them?
Because he's a cock and a dick.
96
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:37,640
Ah, double penis.
Fancy a spontaneous trip to London?
97
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,240
Ah, it's lambing season.
I can't really leave.
98
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,840
You can come here, though.
You might even get to see a little
99
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:46,280
lamb being born. Ooh, tempting. It's
a bit of a miracle. You get to see
100
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,240
them appearing, take
their first breaths.
101
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,920
Seen enough placenta dragged
out of my own vagina, thanks.
102
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,400
So, what do you think,
we could meet up halfway?
103
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,280
Chippenham Lorry Park.
104
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:02,160
Oh, they've got showers!
Sounds almost TOO romantic.
105
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,280
SHEEP BLEAT
106
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,280
Ooh, your wife's calling.
107
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,760
All right, speak to you soon.
Speak soon. Bye.
108
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:13,640
I'm going for a bath.
Oh, there's no hot water. Eh?
109
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,160
And you've run out of milk. Mother,
you literally just said you can't
110
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,520
have milk in your porridge!
111
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,680
Yeah, but I can't drink black tea.
112
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,440
Jesus Christ!
113
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,720
SHE HAMMERS ON DOOR
114
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,720
Open up, it's the pigs!
115
00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,040
Happy Mother's Day.
Oh, shove it up your hole!
116
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,200
Have you got any milk
I could borrow, please? Yeah.
117
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,600
I also have a Bloody Mary
you can borrow. Bloody, yes!
118
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:58,360
MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY
119
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:05,280
Oh, my God!
120
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:09,440
You guys make me want to puke!
Here, this'll settle your stomach.
121
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,800
SIGHING: Thanks.
122
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:18,640
KNOCK ON DOOR
123
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:24,880
Oh, shit! What's happened?
124
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,800
Just thinking about drinking.
125
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,400
What's the earliest you can start if
you're not officially an alcoholic?
126
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,920
Friday night? No, I usually
just stick to the weekends,
127
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,320
but I'm the wrong person to ask.
128
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,040
I only drink for fun.
129
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,560
Er...
130
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,280
You know I'm not your mum, right?
131
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,440
No. They arrived for bloody Jill,
132
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:55,120
cos I forgot to cancel
the standing order at the florist.
133
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:58,320
Seriously, it took all my might
not to make a fuss of her.
134
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,560
Normally it's, you know,
breakfast in bed,
135
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,960
home-made chocolates,
I keep the kids out of the way
136
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,600
so she can properly chill.
Then, usually, she watches
137
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,720
Point Break on her own.
She loves that film.
138
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,520
Tell me you didn't do any of that?
No, of course not.
139
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:13,160
Well, actually, I did...
I did make breakfast.
140
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,320
I was just on autopilot.
141
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,880
I left it in the kitchen, though.
142
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,560
Bloody Jill can...
143
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,480
bloody get it herself.
You need to toughen up, Kev.
144
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,480
Get some lessons from my ex
on how to be a thoughtless,
145
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,560
self-obsessed piss-bag.
I can't believe he wouldn't let you
146
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:30,080
have the boys today. Hmm, I can.
147
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,880
This is the bloke who went on his
stag do during our honeymoon.
148
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,240
Poor old you... No.
149
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,800
Not seeing Sam Shepherd
this weekend?
150
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,600
We could do anything
we goddamn please.
151
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,600
Yeah, all right. Like what?
152
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,560
Visit my mum?
153
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,240
So, I've got my last lot
of chemo next week,
154
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,160
then I find out if I need an op
to lop it off.
155
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:02,760
Hey, no, you won't need that.
156
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:07,080
Well, if I do, then as a booby
prize, they can give me a new booby.
157
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,840
Ooh! That's, ugh...
158
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,760
Why are you looking at porn?
I'm researching my new rack.
159
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,920
I've got the search history
of a 14-year-old boy. Oh,
160
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,920
if I was offered a free boob job,
I'd go like, you know, whole hog.
161
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,720
The full Sam Fox. Yeah, no,
I was thinking more the other way,
162
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,880
but not too flat, like you, because
you're, like, concave. Thank you.
163
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,200
Yes, no, they did rather
give up the ghost after, er,
164
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,080
the breast-feeding... Ooh!
165
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,160
That drink looks delicious!
166
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,640
Can... Can I stay here forever?!
167
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,040
Your Mother's Day is just much,
much, much, much better than mine.
168
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,960
How come I don't get spoilt
like this? Christ! I had...
169
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,360
32 stitches with Ivy!
When she came out, she was, like,
170
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,160
the same size as my own torso!
Well, you reap what
171
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,600
Paul.
172
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:53,920
"Toilet roll..."
173
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,480
MESSAGE ALERT
174
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,120
"..ASAP." Sorry, what, what...
175
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,440
What did I sow to deserve this?
Is this, erm...
176
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,800
Please can I stay here? No, get out!
177
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,080
I'm just...
I'm just going to take...
178
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,240
Cheers, my dears!
Would it help if I told you that
179
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,080
they'd never done
a Mother's Day like this before?
180
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,520
Ah, yeah, maybe a bit. I think
they're just making a special effort
181
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:26,800
because it might be my last one
ever. God, no. No. It's true.
182
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,800
Do you know, I once, erm, lay down
on the kitchen floor over there -
183
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,920
just lay down just to see
if anyone would notice -
184
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:34,560
and, actually, they all just, erm,
185
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,920
stepped over me. So, in the end,
I just sort of lay there
186
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,600
Give it back! Give it back!
No, get your own!
187
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,040
Hiya.
PAUL: Julia?
188
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,440
Did you get bog roll?
Can you run it up here?
189
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,200
SHE SIGHS
190
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,280
Do you want a water?
191
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,800
Mint?
192
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,120
Sick bag? Condoms?
193
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,600
I've got them all for the Uber
driving. I'll have a water, please.
194
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,120
Just so you know, even though
I'm not going to charge you
195
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,600
for this drive, I will need
you to rate me five stars.
196
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,960
Mummy! Hello, darling,
I'm so sorry I'm late.
197
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,200
I totally forgot! Aw!
198
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,840
It's fine, it's only 20 minutes,
199
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,280
OK...
200
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,520
I'm fine.
201
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:56,480
Are you going to come in
and say hi to the kids?
202
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,280
We should hurry.
I'll shout out to them.
203
00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,680
Hello, babies!
204
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,160
Love you, love you!
205
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,440
So good to see you!
206
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,920
Shall we go? Yeah.
Er, Johnny, I'm off now!
207
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:11,240
Bye, guys! Oh, is Johnny
not coming with? Well,
208
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,200
no, I...thought we...
209
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,480
Well, who'd look after the children?
Oh, that is a shame. And we're
210
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,800
getting a divorce, Mum. Yes,
I keep forgetting. Poor Johnny.
211
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:24,200
Right, shall we go?
Riverside Cafe, exciting! Ah,
212
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,400
they were full,
but I have got us a table
213
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:30,200
at Fed and Watered, just on the
high street. Oh, that IS a shame.
214
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,560
Mum, I tried my best
and we were actually lucky to get
215
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:35,320
a table anywhere, even though
I booked weeks ago. Oh, darling,
216
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:39,040
I'm so sorry, I am grateful. OK.
And as long as I get to see you.
217
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,840
Now, quickly, get ready,
I'll wait in the car.
218
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:45,720
I AM ready.
219
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,120
Weird, being in the countryside.
220
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:53,720
I don't actually hate it.
221
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,320
Oh, oh, oh, stop. Here we are.
222
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,120
Is your mum a vicar?
223
00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,560
No, Liz!
224
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,040
She's dead.
225
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:14,280
She loved nuts.
226
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,160
Anything salty.
227
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,920
That's probably what killed her
in the end.
228
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,640
How old were you when she died?
229
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,360
Eight. Aw, Kev.
230
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:29,280
My dad married again about a year
later. They live in Spain now.
231
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,960
Probably to get away from me.
232
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,040
Does SHE like salty nuts? Nah.
233
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,800
She's more of a Wagon Wheel woman.
Sweet tooth.
234
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,720
She couldn't be more different
to my lovely mum. My step-mum
235
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,480
couldn't tell me and my brother
Adrian apart, so...
236
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,320
she just used to call us
both Adrian.
237
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,840
LIZ LAUGHS
238
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,640
I used to hide her slipper.
239
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,560
Just...just the one.
She'd spend hours looking for it
240
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:55,480
and I'd just sit there,
knowing it was under my pillow.
241
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,280
Eh, you know what you should do?
What, hide Jill's slipper?
242
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,880
No. She'd have my guts for garters!
No, get back out there,
243
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,720
sow some oats. Oh, no bloody way!
Why not?
244
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:14,560
The smell of another woman,
the feel of her hair,
245
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,840
her hand on my... All right, Kev.
246
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,680
On my chest, Liz!
247
00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:20,320
God!
248
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:21,400
Sorry, Mum.
249
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,720
Nah, that's it for me.
250
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:27,880
I've had my fill with Jill.
251
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,880
Can we open those nuts? Yeah.
252
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:50,920
Huh!
253
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,240
CHILDREN PLAY IN BACKGROUND
254
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,520
Can I do anything? Oh, goodness,
no, it's Mother's Day!
255
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,320
Mothers shouldn't have to lift
a finger on Mother's Day.
256
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,440
SHE LAUGHS
257
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,200
Food!
258
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,320
Ooh, come on in!
259
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,360
Well, this looks lovely!
Oh, I'm sorry, Mum. I'm sorry that
260
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,160
your daughter isn't Heston
Blumenthal. What's for pudding? Ha!
261
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,200
No pudding, no. We'll just be having
a seminar on living in the moment.
262
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,720
DOORBELL RINGS
263
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,960
Pizza... Who ordered pizza? Pizza!
264
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,680
PAUL: Is that my pizza, Julia?
265
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,080
CHILDREN GIGGLE
266
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,440
Look!
267
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,440
SHE LAUGHS
268
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:56,040
Georgie is just mad about
street dance. Wait,
269
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,080
there's something else
I wanted to show you.
270
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:00,760
That is Madison's drawing of
271
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,920
the Houses of Parliament. Darling,
when you WhatsApp photos of the
272
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,920
children, they go straight into
my camera roll. Oh, that's handy!
273
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,680
How do I stop that happening?
I feel bad deleting them.
274
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,280
Chardonnay - for
the beautiful sisters.
275
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,320
Oh, you're sweet!
276
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,920
Isn't he sweet, Amanda? Hmm. Have
you decided? Do you want to share
277
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,960
the fig and chorizo salad?
I'm not a fan of chori-tho.
278
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,800
I think I'll have
the mushroom veloute
279
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,240
and a sparkling water, please.
Thank you, darling.
280
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,920
Goat's cheese salad, please. Merci.
281
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:36,400
So, darling, how are you,
with the divorce and everything?
282
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,120
God!
283
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,120
Mum! It's from a David.
He sounds lovely.
284
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:48,200
Great. Darling, dating apps are
a game-changer. Mummy, please,
285
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,480
I really don't want to see. It's
actually making me feel a bit ill.
286
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,600
Oh, come on!
You're getting divorced,
287
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,760
you'll soon be doing exactly the
same, you just wait. I won't, Mummy.
288
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,640
This is still so raw for me,
289
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,400
like I did when I was going
through it with your father.
290
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,280
This is very different to your
divorce from Daddy. It's exactly
291
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,760
the same. He'd had his fill
of me and I was discarded.
292
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,720
You should take him for everything
he's got. Mummy, I'm not being
293
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,760
discarded, and this
is not about money.
294
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,280
Is that what he said? I always said
295
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,200
Johnny was no good. No, you didn't,
you said you loved him, and if you
296
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,320
were ten years younger, I'd have to
watch my back. Five years younger.
297
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,160
Voila! Can I get you anything else?
298
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,080
BOTH: Another dry white wine,
please.
299
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,600
The girls would love it here.
300
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:40,600
If I pass my driving test,
I can take 'em to places like this.
301
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,800
It always peed Jill off
that I couldn't drive,
302
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,440
or swim, or grow a beard.
Actually, to be fair,
303
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,080
that last one was out of my hands.
She hates stubble.
304
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:52,120
I'll teach you to drive. Would you?
305
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:56,440
I'm not a complete novice. I've had
about 90 hours of lessons. 90?!
306
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,120
For the price of them, you could
have just hired a chauffeur!
307
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,600
It's reversing that stymies me.
308
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,240
I'm absolutely fine going forwards
but, for some reason,
309
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,280
going backwards terrifies me.
MESSAGE ALERT
310
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,600
It's the same with swings.
Going up - exhilarating,
311
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,160
coming down - no, thank you.
Oh, God! Sam keeps texting me
312
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,280
pictures of baby lambs. Let me see.
313
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,360
There. Still in the birth bag.
314
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:19,640
It's amazing, isn't it?
Life from life. That your...
315
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,800
your body can make another body.
Yeah, tell that to the ewe.
316
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,320
She just made four legs of lamb
and a pound of chops.
317
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,760
Poor lamb.
318
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,160
The girls and I are vegetarian now.
319
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,680
Not Jill, she's always
the last at the table,
320
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:34,560
sucking the living daylights
out of a plate of ribs.
321
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,680
Do you think he's trying to
tell me something?
322
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,760
Jill said she'd rather
have laser eye surgery.
323
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,120
I've only just reclaimed control of
my pelvic floor.
324
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,440
I can finally sneeze
without pissing myself.
325
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,880
Eh, do you want to
drive us back, Kev?
326
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,520
What, really?
Yeah, come on, new you.
327
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,240
OK.
328
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,320
OK, let's do this! Yeah? All right!
329
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:05,920
KEYS HIT PAVEMENT
330
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:14,800
Relax! My mum always said, "You
wouldn't bump into anyone as you're
331
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,120
"walking about, would you? So just
don't bump into any other cars."
332
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:21,400
OK, come on, Kevin, you can do this!
333
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,360
Indicators...
334
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:30,600
and mirrors. Check the road ahead.
335
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:31,960
Here we go.
336
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,200
Oh, my God!
337
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,200
TYRES SCREECH
338
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:38,400
Well,
339
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:42,080
that was really lovely. Oh, God,
it was absolute shit, Mother!
340
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,880
Sorry, I was just trying to...
341
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,840
It would just be...just be so lovely
if my family, you know,
342
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,560
just could pretend that they like me
just for one day, maybe
343
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,160
serve me Bloody Marys,
344
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,720
put my face on a T-shirt. You don't
have children to be liked, Julia.
345
00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:01,240
Well, what's the blinking point of
having kids if they don't friggin'
346
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:06,480
like you?! Look at us, you didn't
talk to me from the age of 13 to 22.
347
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,960
You were a monster, Julia.
348
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,560
I locked myself in the toilet once
to get away from you
349
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,160
and you kicked the door
off the hinges. Did I?
350
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,080
Goodness, I don't remember that.
351
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:17,560
Why were you hiding in the toilet?
352
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,280
It was the only room with a key.
353
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,480
And look at us now.
You look after me. You let me stay
354
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:26,600
in your house, give me your bedroom
and your en suite. Mother, I don't
355
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,600
want to wait until I'm infirm for
my children to give a shit about me.
356
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:33,200
Oh, my God, they used to think
the sun shone out of my arsehole!
357
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,160
All I had to do was fart and
Ivy's face lit up. Now, if I fart
358
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,160
in front of them, they look at me
like Melania looks at Donald.
359
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:45,160
You'll get them back, and it'll
all be worth it, hmm? I promise.
360
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:49,160
SHE BREAKS WIND
Oh, pop a cork in it, Mother!
361
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,800
Would you like to see
the dessert menu?
362
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,200
No, thank you. No, thank you.
Just the bill. D'accord.
363
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:01,600
TAPPING ON WINDOW
364
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,280
Happy Mother's Day!
365
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,480
This is my mammy!
366
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,600
I burned my hand
making toffee apples,
367
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,200
so we're off to the A&E, yeah.
368
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,120
Is that your mammy?
369
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:18,600
It's just Anne.
370
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,760
Amanda, this is my mammy!
371
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,160
Hi. Mammy, this is Amanda's mammy.
372
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:31,920
No way?! You look too young
to be a granny. Not like me.
373
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,680
I'm as old as the hills!
374
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,680
THEY LAUGH
375
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,800
Thank you. This is baby Niamh.
376
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,680
Isn't she a dote?
377
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,840
She was 9lb, exactly. You didn't
have any stitches, did you, Annie?
378
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,360
No, no, no. I'm pretty much
379
00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:46,440
elasticated down there!
380
00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:46,440
THEY LAUGH
381
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:47,960
Would you like a little hold?
382
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,440
Oh.
383
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,520
Ooh!
384
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,960
BABY GURGLES
385
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:57,160
Isn't Mammy gorgeous?
386
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:57,160
SHE LAUGHS
387
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:02,800
You're lovely-looking, Amanda. Oh!
Legs up to your armpits! Ha-ha-ha!
388
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,800
Such a slim thing. I'm not! Ha-ha!
Neither am I!
389
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,120
THEY LAUGH
390
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,920
Check this out.
391
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,920
BLEATING
392
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,080
Oh, my God, what's that?!
393
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,080
TYRES SCREECH
394
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,240
What, what, what?! What's what?!
Not you. Sam. Sam's lambing.
395
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,600
Oh, God! Did you get my message?
396
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,040
Yes, I got your message
and, no, I don't want a baby, Liz.
397
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,360
Right, so that's a definite no
to kids, then?
398
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,960
Definitely not. Anything else?
399
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,760
Cos I'm sort of in the middle of
something here. Yeah, fine. OK.
400
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:46,240
He doesn't want kids,
so that's that answer.
401
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:48,960
Oh, no!
402
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,760
Do I stop?
403
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,760
HORN BEEPS
404
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,360
You're a learner. He can reverse.
405
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:56,960
BEEPING CONTINUES
No kids is a good thing, isn't it?
406
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,840
What do I do? Just stick her
in reverse, Kevin. I mean,
407
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,360
why doesn't he want kids?
408
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:03,640
Why doesn't he want kids with me?
Backwards?
409
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,520
I could have more kids. I've got
about ten to 15 good periods left
410
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,840
in me, I reckon. I can't do it.
I can't reverse. Oh, for God's sake,
411
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,560
Kevin! I'm having a relationship
crisis here!
412
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,920
BEEPING CONTINUES
Yes, I know, I know, but he's being
413
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,560
really heavy on the horn.
All right, shove over, I'll do it.
414
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:19,560
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
415
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,200
You know what, Liz?
416
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,120
I've got to do this. I've
bloody got to grow a pair
417
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:28,880
and get my licence.
I can't give Jill any excuses
418
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,040
to cut me out of my girls' lives.
All right, look,
419
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:32,960
both hands on the wheel,
use your mirrors
420
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:36,640
and, in your own time,
nice and easy, reverse.
421
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:46,480
HE SCREAMS
422
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:51,280
Kevin!
SCREAMING CONTINUES
423
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:52,800
Oh, my God, Kevin!
424
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,240
Stop screaming! Ha-ha!
425
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,240
HORN BEEPS
426
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,680
Oh! Ha-ha-ha!
427
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,920
I did it. Oh... Ha-ha-ha! I did it!
428
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,560
I reversed! Yes.
429
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,880
I reversed, Liz! Yes, all right!
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
430
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,080
bloody mother I know!
431
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,080
MESSAGE ALERT
432
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,160
Do you mind if I drop you off
at the station?
433
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:19,680
I've just got an Uber booking.
434
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:22,840
Hey!
435
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,920
Ha-ha! I missed you!
436
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,280
HORN BEEPS
437
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,280
Hello.
438
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,040
Hello, babies!
Lovely to see you all. Johnny,
439
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,520
you look fantastic, darling.
See you on Tinder.
440
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,400
HE CHUCKLES
Mummy says I should rinse you dry.
441
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,400
No, I didn't, darling.
Don't listen to her,
442
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:41,280
she's just bitter. Nice lunch?
Wonderful, wasn't it, darling?
443
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,840
No, it wasn't.
It made me sad, actually.
444
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:48,680
But whatever happens
with this divorce,
445
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,760
we won't let it make our kids sad,
446
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,240
so thank you for that.
447
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:55,840
Happy Mother's Day, Mum.
448
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:04,880
She's quite right, you SHOULD take
me to the cleaners. Can you imagine?
449
00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:08,200
Can I keep the house? No.
450
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,600
TV IN BACKGROUND
451
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:15,320
SHE SIGHS
452
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,120
Oh! Er, Meg?
453
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,080
Yeah, no, I'll...
I can take them over for her.
454
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:58,760
SHE KNOCKS ON DOOR
455
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,680
Happy Mother's Day again,
you lucky bitch!
456
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,360
SNE SNIFFS
457
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,880
Oh...
458
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,880
Oh, God. Erm...
459
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,200
It's the flowers, isn't it?
Er, lilies. Er, you hate lilies!
460
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,840
OK. That's OK, it's cool,
I... I can take them away.
461
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,480
I... I didn't receive
any fucking flowers, so...
462
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,840
SHE SOBS
463
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,800
I just want to say from the offset,
I'm not very good with crying,
464
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,440
or empathy.
465
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,840
I'm sorry.
466
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,840
It's just...
467
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,160
What if this really is my last one?
468
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,640
No, no, no, it...
469
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:45,120
It's not going to be. We don't know.
470
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,600
And in the meantime, you know,
I've got to carry on being
471
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:53,680
Fun Meg, Hot Wife, Supermum.
Whoa! Let's not get carried away.
472
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:06,360
..and I'm really fucking terrified,
Julia! Yes, yes. Look, look...
473
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,160
Listen, of course you are.
474
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,720
Of course you are.
But you are strong.
475
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,680
OK, er...
476
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,880
Think about, you know,
Lance Armstrong. You... You know,
477
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,920
He's going to go to hell,
yes, for sure,
478
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,800
but not for a long, long time -
because he beat cancer.
479
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:28,680
Look, listen, right...
480
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,040
Come on, let's crack
481
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,360
this little soldier open.
482
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,360
CORK POPS
483
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:36,320
THEY LAUGH
484
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:41,280
To Lance Armstrong! No, no, I'm not
fucking toasting Lance Armstrong.
485
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,920
Uh... Here's to all the
486
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,640
amazing women in our lives.
To the sisters and the aunties
487
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,800
and the grandmas and the teachers.
488
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,400
And to Lance Armstrong's mum.
489
00:27:58,240 --> 00:27:59,360
Fine.
490
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,120
Happy Mother's Day.
491
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,080
Oh... Ha-ha!
38115
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