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1
00:01:14,267 --> 00:01:15,968
Last time on Married With Children...
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00:01:16,135 --> 00:01:18,738
...I was neither fed, walked
or had a close-up.
3
00:01:19,805 --> 00:01:21,307
That's better.
4
00:01:21,507 --> 00:01:23,209
Last time on Married With Children...
5
00:01:23,409 --> 00:01:26,612
...Al was having a typical day
at the shoe store, when suddenly:
6
00:01:26,812 --> 00:01:29,682
Oh, what in Sam Hill are you doing?
7
00:01:30,016 --> 00:01:33,219
-I'm breast-feeding.
-But why?
8
00:01:33,419 --> 00:01:35,554
Because he can't cook.
9
00:01:36,589 --> 00:01:38,791
You just told me it was all right
if I fed him.
10
00:01:38,991 --> 00:01:42,695
Well, I meant to give him something
healthy, like an Orange Bang.
11
00:01:43,162 --> 00:01:45,798
Al made the lady leave,
but only temporarily.
12
00:01:45,998 --> 00:01:48,868
How dare you deny her
her God-given right to nurse her baby...
13
00:01:49,035 --> 00:01:51,237
...whenever Mother Nature calls!
14
00:01:52,004 --> 00:01:55,107
Breast-feeding is a natural
biological function.
15
00:01:55,308 --> 00:01:57,910
So is peeing, but you don't see me
doing that in public.
16
00:02:00,279 --> 00:02:02,181
Al stuck by his guns on this one...
17
00:02:02,348 --> 00:02:04,750
...so you know his life could've
only gotten better.
18
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:08,020
Company halt!
19
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:10,956
Present babies.
20
00:02:12,124 --> 00:02:14,827
Express milk.
21
00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:20,425
So, Al had no choice...
22
00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:23,193
...but to counterprotest
in his usual classy manner.
23
00:02:23,424 --> 00:02:24,958
Present.
24
00:02:25,157 --> 00:02:27,159
Beer bellies.
25
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:39,025
Boogie down.
26
00:02:45,323 --> 00:02:47,825
And now, despite
my vehement objections...
27
00:02:48,023 --> 00:02:49,992
...Married With Children continues.
28
00:02:50,189 --> 00:02:52,958
One, two, three, four
We will breast-feed in your store
29
00:02:53,156 --> 00:02:56,526
Two, four, six, eight
Hide your breasts or--
30
00:02:58,122 --> 00:02:59,457
Wait, what rhymes with eight?
31
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,857
-Get a date?
-Guess my weight.
32
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:03,757
Urinate.
33
00:03:04,655 --> 00:03:09,727
Well, this past week there have been
two fires, a flood and a mass murder.
34
00:03:09,922 --> 00:03:12,992
Unfortunately, none of them here
at Gary's Shoes...
35
00:03:13,188 --> 00:03:16,758
...where I, Miranda Veracruz
de la Jolla Cardenal...
36
00:03:16,954 --> 00:03:20,158
...have been since
this breast-feeding protest began.
37
00:03:20,355 --> 00:03:21,723
But since I am here...
38
00:03:21,921 --> 00:03:25,058
...I might as well speak to the leader
of the counterdemonstration.
39
00:03:25,255 --> 00:03:28,758
A former high school football player,
current shoe salesman...
40
00:03:28,954 --> 00:03:33,326
...and future food-stamp abuser,
Al Bundy.
41
00:03:33,521 --> 00:03:36,991
Mr. Bundy, what is your group trying
to achieve here?
42
00:03:37,155 --> 00:03:39,590
We wanna show that men have
a God-given right...
43
00:03:39,754 --> 00:03:42,657
...to live
in a breast-free environment.
44
00:03:43,554 --> 00:03:44,822
Don't get us wrong.
45
00:03:44,987 --> 00:03:48,357
We're not some of those sissy marys
who don't like breasts.
46
00:03:48,554 --> 00:03:50,790
I mean, I'm not.
47
00:03:51,521 --> 00:03:54,324
Of course, I can't vouch
for these other guys.
48
00:03:54,753 --> 00:03:57,723
Our point is breasts have no place
in a women's shoe store.
49
00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,990
Unless they're on a pinup calendar
in a bathroom.
50
00:04:01,820 --> 00:04:05,590
Or in one of them pens
where the bathing suit disappears.
51
00:04:08,653 --> 00:04:12,590
Mr. Bundy, sorry to break up
the Mensa meeting...
52
00:04:12,787 --> 00:04:16,457
...but how does your wife feel
about this protest?
53
00:04:16,652 --> 00:04:18,721
Oh, I'm not married.
54
00:04:19,719 --> 00:04:22,221
But if I was married,
I'm sure she'd be here for me.
55
00:04:32,019 --> 00:04:33,354
Hi, Al.
56
00:04:33,552 --> 00:04:37,323
Hello, woman I've never seen before.
57
00:04:38,419 --> 00:04:41,689
Oh, yeah, here you wear the bag,
but in bed....
58
00:04:41,851 --> 00:04:45,689
If you two don't mind, I'll head over
to the other wing of the asylum.
59
00:04:45,851 --> 00:04:49,121
-Here she comes, girls.
-Look fertile and oppressed.
60
00:04:50,518 --> 00:04:53,621
Hi, honey. Brought you your lunch.
61
00:04:55,151 --> 00:04:57,286
It's just three pieces of bread, Peg.
62
00:04:57,451 --> 00:05:01,055
Yeah, it's a club sandwich,
hold the "club."
63
00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:04,586
Oh, I'd like to hold the club, Peg.
64
00:05:04,784 --> 00:05:08,854
Oh, well, I guess it's better
than yesterday's hot-dog bun on rye.
65
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:12,454
Now, look, Al, I know I'm not supposed
to ask you about your business...
66
00:05:12,617 --> 00:05:13,685
...or your future...
67
00:05:13,850 --> 00:05:17,220
...or why there's never a pair of your
dirty underwear in the hamper...
68
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:19,786
...but just how long
is this protest gonna continue?
69
00:05:20,117 --> 00:05:21,952
Until we've made our point, Peg.
70
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:25,228
Which shouldn't be long once these
women realize how united we men are.
71
00:05:25,228 --> 00:05:25,350
Which shouldn't be long once these
women realize how united we men are.
72
00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:28,320
-Food!
-Hey, burgers! Come on!
73
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:31,552
What--?
74
00:05:31,717 --> 00:05:34,353
Hey, you're supposed to bring
the food back to us...
75
00:05:34,550 --> 00:05:36,185
...not eat it all yourself.
76
00:05:36,383 --> 00:05:38,919
I hit a red light on the way back.
77
00:05:39,983 --> 00:05:44,087
Now, look, Al, you've been gone
a week and I miss you.
78
00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:46,052
There's no one to take
the trash out...
79
00:05:46,249 --> 00:05:49,018
...and sex without you
just isn't the same.
80
00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:51,418
Well, actually it is.
81
00:05:51,582 --> 00:05:54,652
I want this protest
to be over right now.
82
00:05:54,848 --> 00:05:56,950
Marcie, get over here.
83
00:05:57,616 --> 00:05:59,251
Now, how long have
we been friends?
84
00:05:59,416 --> 00:06:01,985
What, me and you, or me and her?
85
00:06:02,215 --> 00:06:04,184
You and soap.
86
00:06:06,182 --> 00:06:08,017
Why don't you just drop
this whole thing?
87
00:06:08,182 --> 00:06:10,351
Don't worry, Peggy,
this will all be over soon.
88
00:06:10,782 --> 00:06:13,751
Al and I have already found a way
to settle our differences.
89
00:06:13,948 --> 00:06:15,617
Our philosophical ones.
90
00:06:15,782 --> 00:06:18,217
The physical ones
are still too close to call.
91
00:06:19,782 --> 00:06:21,684
Actually, the key was
to find someone...
92
00:06:21,847 --> 00:06:23,916
...who could track down
what the law says.
93
00:06:24,114 --> 00:06:26,717
Someone neutral,
with no more loyalty to Al than to me.
94
00:06:26,914 --> 00:06:29,317
So we picked your son, Bud.
95
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,282
And when he gets back,
we'll find out...
96
00:06:31,447 --> 00:06:34,850
...that this is still the United States
of America, where men have rights.
97
00:06:35,014 --> 00:06:39,152
That's why George Washington chopped
down that tree, called it macaroni.
98
00:06:39,314 --> 00:06:41,416
That's why George Hamilton
and Raymond Burr...
99
00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:43,716
...fought their famous duel.
100
00:06:43,914 --> 00:06:47,451
And that's why a lot of other guys
did a lot of other stuff.
101
00:06:48,314 --> 00:06:52,117
Believe me, Marcie, my government
would never rule against me.
102
00:06:52,314 --> 00:06:54,816
Dad, they ruled against you.
103
00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:57,749
Damn George Washington!
I wish he was dead!
104
00:06:57,946 --> 00:07:00,716
-We won! We won! We won!
-We won! We won!
105
00:07:00,913 --> 00:07:02,982
Well, it looks like Sucklegate...
106
00:07:03,180 --> 00:07:06,950
...much like my career,
has finally come to an end.
107
00:07:07,146 --> 00:07:10,215
This is Miranda Veracruz
de la Jolla Cardenal...
108
00:07:10,413 --> 00:07:14,517
...saying good night and yikes.
109
00:07:17,313 --> 00:07:21,450
Oh, gee, Al, I know you really put
a lot into this protest.
110
00:07:21,645 --> 00:07:23,113
I'm sorry you lost.
111
00:07:31,012 --> 00:07:34,382
Thanks, Peg.
I knew that you'd understand.
112
00:07:35,512 --> 00:07:38,315
You know what I love
about America in the '90s?
113
00:07:38,512 --> 00:07:40,580
Jockey for Her?
114
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:45,516
No. It's that people like you
never get what they want.
115
00:07:45,711 --> 00:07:46,945
It's so amusing to watch.
116
00:07:47,111 --> 00:07:50,214
You try, but things
just never go your way.
117
00:07:50,411 --> 00:07:52,346
That's what makes
this country great.
118
00:07:53,245 --> 00:07:56,248
I don't care what the law says!
I do what I want, Marcie!
119
00:07:56,444 --> 00:07:58,813
I laugh at the law!
120
00:08:11,643 --> 00:08:15,380
Hello, officer.
What brings you here?
121
00:08:15,543 --> 00:08:17,011
The law.
122
00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:19,446
You know, that thing
you were just laughing at.
123
00:08:19,643 --> 00:08:21,545
Come on, Dan, you're a guy.
124
00:08:21,743 --> 00:08:23,512
I'm a cop first, Al.
125
00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:26,646
Well, actually I'm a cop about 11th.
126
00:08:26,843 --> 00:08:30,714
I'm a lover first,
and then a bowler...
127
00:08:30,909 --> 00:08:32,978
...then a lover again.
128
00:08:33,209 --> 00:08:36,179
And then sometimes late at night
I like to pretend I'm Barney...
129
00:08:36,376 --> 00:08:38,378
...on Mission Impossible.
130
00:08:39,575 --> 00:08:42,845
But anyway, I'm here to uphold the law.
It's the job I've sworn to do.
131
00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:46,812
Officer! Someone's being mugged
in the food court!
132
00:08:47,009 --> 00:08:49,345
Tell someone who cares.
133
00:08:51,108 --> 00:08:54,645
Anyway, the law says you can't stop
a woman from breast-feeding.
134
00:08:54,842 --> 00:08:56,844
Sorry, Bundy, but we live in an age...
135
00:08:57,008 --> 00:08:59,244
...where everyone's rights
have to be respected.
136
00:09:01,342 --> 00:09:03,311
Especially mine.
137
00:09:04,142 --> 00:09:09,981
That's why I've got seven citations here
for indecent exposure.
138
00:09:11,841 --> 00:09:13,376
But there's only six of us.
139
00:09:13,574 --> 00:09:16,177
I know. I gave you two.
140
00:09:19,107 --> 00:09:21,376
Come on.
What's he talking about, "indecent"?
141
00:09:21,574 --> 00:09:24,244
I mean, we don't look so bad.
142
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:35,743
When did being born a man
become a crime?
143
00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:39,444
Well, according to
The People of Illinois v. Baby Hayes...
144
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,543
...it was May 12th, 1992.
145
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:43,808
Baby Hayes?
146
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,975
Yeah, he was born naked.
147
00:09:46,507 --> 00:09:50,377
The nurse didn't like it,
sued him for sexual harassment.
148
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:53,409
They tried him as an adult...
149
00:09:54,106 --> 00:09:56,342
...and gave him
the electric highchair.
150
00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:59,709
You'll be seeing it on Fox.
151
00:10:01,939 --> 00:10:05,743
In all honesty, why are you surprised
in having to see breast-feeding?
152
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:08,108
I mean, after all,
this is a women's shoe store.
153
00:10:12,439 --> 00:10:14,374
It is, isn't it?
154
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:18,009
Yeah, Dad, and hold onto your hairline,
you are a woman's shoe salesman.
155
00:10:21,406 --> 00:10:23,107
I am, aren't I?
156
00:10:24,339 --> 00:10:26,241
Well, that's enough for today.
157
00:10:26,438 --> 00:10:29,574
I'll break the Dodge and Mom
to you some other time.
158
00:10:30,405 --> 00:10:32,573
Son, you just gave me a great idea.
159
00:10:32,772 --> 00:10:35,241
I know how to get
around the law, Marcie...
160
00:10:35,438 --> 00:10:39,776
...and her cud-chewing comrades
permanently.
161
00:10:51,305 --> 00:10:53,173
-Hey, Griff.
-Hey.
162
00:10:53,370 --> 00:10:54,605
-Dad.
-Son...
163
00:10:54,771 --> 00:10:58,975
...welcome to Gary's Shoes
and Accessories for Today's Man.
164
00:11:04,103 --> 00:11:06,973
It even says so on the sign. See?
165
00:11:07,803 --> 00:11:10,205
Dad, the imprint of the W and the O
are still there.
166
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:13,540
Well, that's the way
it is with women, see?
167
00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:16,439
Their imprint is always there.
168
00:11:16,603 --> 00:11:19,039
But, son, don't you see the genius
of what I've done?
169
00:11:19,237 --> 00:11:21,005
Now that I just sell men's shoes...
170
00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:24,372
...I never have to worry about women
coming in the store at all.
171
00:11:24,770 --> 00:11:26,772
I need shoes!
172
00:11:27,569 --> 00:11:31,106
Sorry, ma'am,
but this is now a man's shoe store.
173
00:11:31,303 --> 00:11:33,638
-I need shoes.
-Right this way.
174
00:11:36,102 --> 00:11:39,205
Well, at least we know
she's not gonna breast-feed.
175
00:11:40,602 --> 00:11:44,372
But my idea is genius.
Just listen to the silence.
176
00:11:44,935 --> 00:11:46,771
Hey, Al.
177
00:11:51,935 --> 00:11:53,404
Listen, I came by to warn you...
178
00:11:53,568 --> 00:11:55,837
...Marcie's as mad
as a wet hen about this.
179
00:11:56,035 --> 00:11:59,605
Well, that means somewhere out there,
there's a wet hen as mad as Marcie.
180
00:12:01,001 --> 00:12:03,037
Look, you know
she's not gonna give up on this.
181
00:12:03,201 --> 00:12:06,305
I mean, when she sinks her teeth
into something....
182
00:12:17,901 --> 00:12:21,638
Well, if you wanna step
in the backroom, I'll show you.
183
00:12:24,767 --> 00:12:29,438
No! That's okay,
I'll do a silent scream from here.
184
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,934
But I'm glad she's mad at me.
185
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:34,404
That'll teach her
to get into a milking contest with me.
186
00:12:36,134 --> 00:12:37,402
Get that, son.
187
00:12:37,566 --> 00:12:41,570
Oh, and if it's your mother, tell her
I've remarried and she gets the kids.
188
00:12:42,433 --> 00:12:44,302
I feel good. Yep, I do.
189
00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:48,770
Hey, Al, aren't you afraid
that Gary will find out...
190
00:12:48,932 --> 00:12:51,135
...that you turned this
into a men's shoe store?
191
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:53,001
Who's Gary?
192
00:12:54,433 --> 00:12:56,735
You know, Gary of Gary's Shoes.
193
00:12:56,932 --> 00:12:59,135
Jefferson, I've worked here
20 years--
194
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:06,168
Twenty years?
Where the hell has my life gone?
195
00:13:06,832 --> 00:13:10,936
But anyway, I've never even seen Gary.
I don't even know if the Gary exists.
196
00:13:11,132 --> 00:13:15,336
But I haven't been this happy in years.
Let me just sit back and revel in it.
197
00:13:16,532 --> 00:13:20,236
Dad, that was Gary's office
on the phone.
198
00:13:20,831 --> 00:13:24,368
Gary's flying in the day after tomorrow
to take a personal look at the store.
199
00:13:35,197 --> 00:13:38,501
Hello, La Crappé Shoe Distributors?
200
00:13:39,531 --> 00:13:43,335
Yeah. I'm Al Bundy.
I returned $20,000 worth of shoes.
201
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,733
Okay, 20,000 pesos.
202
00:13:46,730 --> 00:13:48,365
Look, I need them back today.
203
00:13:48,530 --> 00:13:50,799
Three weeks?
Look, you don't understand. My boss--
204
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:54,167
Hey, don't "ay caramba" me
in that sarcastic tone!
205
00:13:54,597 --> 00:13:57,166
Now, I need those sh-- Hello?!
206
00:14:01,697 --> 00:14:04,099
Oh, Dad, so you traded
your women's shoes...
207
00:14:04,297 --> 00:14:06,365
...for men's shoes
without telling your boss.
208
00:14:06,563 --> 00:14:09,233
It's not like when you bought
that $200 bowling ball...
209
00:14:09,397 --> 00:14:11,198
...and you didn't tell Mom.
210
00:14:12,230 --> 00:14:14,699
Now, that would be trouble.
211
00:14:16,729 --> 00:14:19,198
Well, thank you, pumpkin.
212
00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:24,034
You just spoiled
your mother's birthday present.
213
00:14:25,562 --> 00:14:27,931
And let's not spoil
your father's birthday present.
214
00:14:28,095 --> 00:14:30,765
He's getting a cocktail dress.
215
00:14:31,828 --> 00:14:34,498
Quiet down, the two of you!
I gotta think.
216
00:14:34,696 --> 00:14:37,766
Leave the wife. Leave the wife.
217
00:14:39,561 --> 00:14:42,831
Gary's coming. Gary's coming.
218
00:14:43,029 --> 00:14:46,299
Peg, you just gave me an idea.
You have shoes. Lots of shoes.
219
00:14:46,495 --> 00:14:49,097
I can sell them. Give them to me.
220
00:14:50,029 --> 00:14:51,930
No! I need them.
221
00:14:52,128 --> 00:14:54,897
Well, what does a woman need
with over 200 pairs of shoes?
222
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:58,431
Well, let's start with the black ones.
223
00:14:58,628 --> 00:15:01,197
You know, black is a basic,
so you need all the styles.
224
00:15:01,395 --> 00:15:05,632
I have black flats for casual outfits,
black mules for lounging...
225
00:15:05,827 --> 00:15:07,729
...black clogs for that retro look...
226
00:15:07,927 --> 00:15:10,363
...oh, and my black heels
for dressy occasions.
227
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:11,862
-Kelly, come with me.
-Okay.
228
00:15:12,028 --> 00:15:16,098
And then there's the black boots,
cowboy boots for boot cut jeans...
229
00:15:16,294 --> 00:15:19,230
...English riding boots
for tweedy suits and skirts...
230
00:15:19,427 --> 00:15:22,263
...and yes, shoe boots,
for when you want that boot look...
231
00:15:22,427 --> 00:15:25,330
...but you just can't commit
to the whole boot experience.
232
00:15:25,494 --> 00:15:28,096
I tell you,
and then it goes on from there....
233
00:15:36,626 --> 00:15:38,895
How do I do it?
234
00:15:39,893 --> 00:15:41,528
I am a genius.
235
00:15:41,826 --> 00:15:44,029
Would you have known
that five minutes ago...
236
00:15:44,192 --> 00:15:45,794
...this was a man's shoe?
237
00:15:48,793 --> 00:15:50,928
Well, yeah.
238
00:15:51,192 --> 00:15:56,731
I defy anyone else to tell me
that these aren't real ladies' shoes.
239
00:15:57,592 --> 00:16:00,595
Pumpkin, let me explain again
what I want you to do here for me.
240
00:16:00,792 --> 00:16:05,830
Now, when Gary comes in, I want you
to act like you're a customer.
241
00:16:06,026 --> 00:16:11,231
If you do a good job, Gary will think
that these are really ladies' shoes.
242
00:16:12,825 --> 00:16:17,797
And then Daddy won't have to wrestle
old women for government cheese.
243
00:16:19,091 --> 00:16:21,160
Can you do that
for Daddy, pumpkin?
244
00:16:21,558 --> 00:16:25,095
Well, I don't know.
How tough are these old women?
245
00:16:27,758 --> 00:16:29,826
You know,
I really think we can pull this off.
246
00:16:29,991 --> 00:16:32,727
Even if women can tell
that these aren't women's shoes...
247
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:35,327
...Gary won't know the difference.
He's a man.
248
00:16:35,524 --> 00:16:38,527
Hi, I'm Gary. I own this store.
249
00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:42,026
Of course.
250
00:16:43,024 --> 00:16:46,327
Excuse me, Mr. Shoe Daddy...
251
00:16:48,291 --> 00:16:52,928
...what a wonderful selection
of women's shoes.
252
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:57,160
I think I'll take
this lovely wiener pair.
253
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:07,193
They're so women's.
254
00:17:07,556 --> 00:17:12,561
Well, that's probably because
this is a woman's shoe store.
255
00:17:12,789 --> 00:17:14,124
How much do I owe you?
256
00:17:15,522 --> 00:17:18,892
Oh, you could never repay me.
257
00:17:20,389 --> 00:17:22,557
-Miss...?
-Bundy.
258
00:17:26,389 --> 00:17:30,226
Anyway, as a satisfied
woman customer...
259
00:17:30,422 --> 00:17:36,228
...in this, a women's shoe store,
I insist that I pay.
260
00:17:40,821 --> 00:17:44,625
Five, ten, fifteen.
261
00:18:00,221 --> 00:18:01,188
What are you doing?
262
00:18:02,221 --> 00:18:04,490
Waiting for my change.
263
00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,956
Get out.
264
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:10,722
I guess I'll see you at home then.
265
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,489
You bet.
266
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,356
Now, do me a favor and leave
the oven on for Daddy, would you?
267
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,355
Okay.
268
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,322
-Mr. Bundy?
-One second, please.
269
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,555
Let me say one thing.
270
00:18:26,287 --> 00:18:29,556
Please. Please, don't fire me.
271
00:18:30,686 --> 00:18:34,590
I'm just a major stroke away
from a comfortable retirement.
272
00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:38,589
Mr. Bundy, I have holdings
all over the world.
273
00:18:38,786 --> 00:18:41,856
I own airlines,
I own oil wells, I own men.
274
00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:44,522
Well, I'm for sale.
275
00:18:46,619 --> 00:18:49,555
-I said men.
-Sorry.
276
00:18:51,286 --> 00:18:56,524
Anyhow, I almost made
the Forbes 400 last year.
277
00:18:56,718 --> 00:19:00,188
I was number 401. You know why?
278
00:19:00,386 --> 00:19:04,189
You're too beautiful to be perceived
as a successful business woman?
279
00:19:04,818 --> 00:19:06,820
That's what I thought.
280
00:19:07,518 --> 00:19:10,154
But, no.
It's because of this shoe store.
281
00:19:10,351 --> 00:19:12,020
That was my second guess.
282
00:19:13,151 --> 00:19:18,089
This is the only holding I have that
has never ever made me any money.
283
00:19:18,485 --> 00:19:20,420
And I think I know why.
284
00:19:20,884 --> 00:19:23,487
Please, don't fire me!
285
00:19:24,951 --> 00:19:27,487
It's because of these shoes!
286
00:19:27,684 --> 00:19:31,121
Did you know that underneath...
287
00:19:32,884 --> 00:19:35,987
...this patina of jaw-breakers
and double-sided tape...
288
00:19:36,183 --> 00:19:38,819
...these are men's shoes?
289
00:19:39,484 --> 00:19:41,619
The hell, you say!
290
00:19:42,950 --> 00:19:47,154
-Oh, of course you knew.
-Oh, I did.
291
00:19:47,350 --> 00:19:49,219
I'll get my lunchbox.
292
00:19:49,417 --> 00:19:54,322
And obviously, you had the acumen
to know that men's shoes don't sell.
293
00:19:54,549 --> 00:19:58,320
Bundy, we're going to turn this store
into a moneymaker.
294
00:19:58,483 --> 00:20:02,186
-And you know how?
-Tear it down, put up a Gap?
295
00:20:03,783 --> 00:20:05,184
No.
296
00:20:05,383 --> 00:20:08,519
We're going to turn it
into a women's shoe store.
297
00:20:08,716 --> 00:20:10,285
A really cheap one.
298
00:20:10,549 --> 00:20:11,984
And we'll cater to their needs.
299
00:20:12,149 --> 00:20:16,353
There will be bidets
and Michael Bolton music...
300
00:20:17,915 --> 00:20:20,084
...and a place
where they can breast-feed.
301
00:20:25,482 --> 00:20:26,983
Congratulations, Mr. Bundy.
302
00:20:27,181 --> 00:20:30,285
You're going to sell women's shoes
for the rest of your life.
303
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:50,150
You have such a wonderful store.
304
00:20:50,414 --> 00:20:53,884
I'm going to have to tell all the women
in my cheesecake club about it.
305
00:20:59,414 --> 00:21:02,784
Oh, Al, I'm so glad to see you
finally dragged your knuckles...
306
00:21:02,980 --> 00:21:05,349
...into the 20th century.
307
00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:06,782
What came over you?
308
00:21:07,747 --> 00:21:09,548
It certainly wasn't a clean T-shirt.
309
00:21:11,947 --> 00:21:14,983
That's right, Marcie, feed the bears.
310
00:21:15,546 --> 00:21:19,417
Excuse me, sir, but do you have
a place I can put this dirty diaper?
311
00:21:23,179 --> 00:21:25,548
No, I do not.
312
00:21:26,146 --> 00:21:28,615
And this is where I draw the line.
313
00:21:28,812 --> 00:21:31,882
There will be no dirty diapers
in my shoe store!
314
00:21:32,079 --> 00:21:33,914
Oh, no?
315
00:21:35,879 --> 00:21:36,880
Oh, no.
316
00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:44,521
Ladies, present loads.
25275
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