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MGM presents...that's me.

MGM presents me as..

As Hercule Poirot,
the Belgian sleuth.

Au revoir.

No, no, no.

Don't try to sneak up on Poirot

my friend.

It could be...dangerous.

Now I know that normally,
wherever Poirot goes

there is intrigue,
excitement, murder.

But not here,
not today, not in London.

No, I'm here actually,
simply to see my tailor.

Now, if you'd been with me
last week in Istanbul, well..

But...here we are.

I'm sorry. Again, au revoir.

Please, do not follow Poirot.

This is London.
Nothing is going to happen.

Goodbye.

What, may I ask,
is the meaning of this?

What is the meaning of, uh..

What, uh, Monsieur Poirot?

- This, this.
- That?

It tugs.

- Tugs?
- Tugs, tugs, it's a tugs.

Ah..

"Ah?" Ah, what?

- Cigarette, huh?
- Yes, no.

No, I don't want a cigarette.
Put them away. Put them away.

Just as I thought, sir.

We have given up smoking since
our last fitting, have we not?

We have, and we do not
care to discuss it.

Tsk, tsk, not only does
it upset the nerves

but as one might say

we exchange the weed
for the weight.

And the bulge
is no longer disguisable.

- Bulge?
- Bulge.

I have no bulge.
I've not changed my shape.

Hmm?

Perhaps, you will be so kind

as to observe this jacket,
the one you came in.

Notice the crease.
It also tugs.

I'm afraid we have
only two alternatives

either we resume smoking

or we diet.

I shall do neither.

Phew.

Thank you, Cracknell.

Here he is, sir, snoopin' about

just like you said he would be.

Ah, you picked well for

a discreet killing, my friend.

Very professional.

What have you to say
for yourself? Hm?

Come on, speak up.

Doesn't seem
to want to talk, sir.

Your hand, Cracknell.

Well, explain yourself.

I'm neither French,
Italian, German

Greek, Spanish or Burmese.

I happen to be an Englishman.

'Well, then,
you have disgraced yourself.'

How so, pray?

One does not expect
an Englishman

to be an assassin.

Good heavens,
I haven't come here

to assassinate you.

I've come here to protect you.

Protect me, indeed,
I've never heard

such an extraordinary assertion.

'Can you support
such a statement?'

Certainly, would you care

to see my credentials?

As you see,
I am temporarily attached

to the Ministry
of Agriculture and Fisheries.

Thank you, Cracknell.

"Arthur George Thomas
Rufus Hastings."

- Hastings.
- Of course, Hastings.

By the way, how is Sir Edward?

Sir Edward?

Your chief..

- Is that his name?
- Hm.

- I've always known him as X.
- Really?

What is the interest of British
Secret Service in Poirot?

Her Majesty's government
seems to think that

you're a very important person

and as such, are entitled
to protection.

Ah..

I understand
you're not very popular

with the criminal classes.

No.

It'll be the most almighty

top level fuss, you know

if you were stabbed,
shot or blown up

or indeed suffer
any inconvenience

while on British soil.

Yes. Yes,
I suppose it would actually.

Well..

In that case..

...I suppose you must join me in
a massage, my faithful bulldog.

One never knows, does one?

You know, I once found
a black widow in my bed.

Black widow in his bed?

I wonder why
he should object to that

unless she wasn't very..

Ah!

Ah, Cracknell.
Be ruthless, Cracknell.

Be merciless.

Oh! Oh! Too hard.

'Monsieur Poirot.'

There's going to be a murder.

This is a sacred establishment.

You shouldn't be on
the other side of the building.

- There's going to be a murder!
- Oh?

I'm frightened, that's why I'm
here. I'm terribly frightened.

Oh, you think someone
is going to kill you, eh?

No, I'm going to kill someone.

- No more massage, please.
- I can't help it.

You see, I must kill.

Hastings!

- Hastings! Hastings!
- Don't, call out!

Monsieur Poirot.

'Hastings! Hastings!'

Don't do that, Monsieur Poirot.
Don't do that!

You mustn't do that!
You can't do that!

Hastings!

I've killed this morning
already, a man.

- His initials were AA.
- AA, eh?

I've killed before,
I must kill again!

No. Hastings.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

- Hasting! Ha..
- Toodle-oo.

- Don't do that! No-no, listen!
- Cracknell! Cracknell!

- Ow, oh, oh.
- Don't!

Oh! I am sorry, sir.

'Cracknell, help me!'

- How, sir?
- I don't know this woman.

Alright, young woman,
on your way.

'Get out!'

After her!

'Come back, come back!'

Poirot, stay put!
Stay where you are, Poirot!

- I'll handle her.
- Go!

You're sure we wish
to commence with brandy--

Yes, yes, yes.

Monsieur.

Ah! Extraordinary.

And this is even
more extraordinary.

What is?

That such a chic creature

has nothing in her handbag.

No mirror, no makeup, nothing.

Only this. What is this?

What is that?

It's a scoring card
from a bowling alley.

A score card?

For monsieur,
pate de foie with toast.

How you can eat
at a time like this?

It is not for this,
you may believe me.

It is for this,
the little gray cells.

Ah! "ABC."

Her initials, obviously, ABC.

Good Lord.

I also read the newspapers.

Now, I ask myself

why should she wish
to kill Poirot?

You want to be
jolly careful from now on.

Where you go, what you do.

- What you eat.
- Eat?

She used poison on the dart,
it says so there.

Well, then you'd
better taste it.

Oh, no. I don't think
there's much chance in here.

It's your duty,
you're here to protect me.

I don't normally eat pate.

Taste.

I say, this is rather good.

This is a challenge to Poirot.

Why should this woman
have nothing in her handbag

except that?

My little gray cells tell me,
obviously, she wants me to go

to the bowling.

- The bowling?
- Yes. No, wait.

Oh, the bowling.

Maybe she's in love with me.

It's happened before.

Very well, I shall go.

Look here, for your own sake

why don't you cut back
to Brussels?

I shall go where I choose

when I choose, how I choose!

In that case,
it'll be my painful duty

to stay right behind you.

Monsieur.

No, here.

I shall prepare the seasoning.

Thank you.

Ah, the pickle.

'Just enough, eh. Yes.'

Now, the salt.

Do you mind? Thank you.

'Alright. Now, lemon.'

'Very good.'

Now, the brandy.

No, not enough. A good tot.

Now..

Bet you don't do it again.

Oh!

I need some bowling shoes
in a hurry, please.

- What size?
- Afraid I don't know the size.

I usually have my shoes
made for me.

Well, if you don't mind getting
to the back of the queue, sir

we'll see if we can
knock you up a pair.

Back.

Looking for someone
to play with?

I'm looking for someone,
actually, yes.

Well, this someone
is Betty Barnard.

I'm very pleased
to meet you, Miss Barnard

but I'm expecting someone.

It seems she stood you up,
doesn't it?

It would seem so, yes.

Maybe, you can help me.

Well, it rather depends
on what you have in mind.

I'll be off in a few minutes.

Got a cigarette?

Egyptian on the right.
Virginian on the left.

'Solid gold! "Hercule, from Danielle."'

Who's Danielle?

La Contessa Sirenuse
is the most

beautiful woman
in Europe, actually.

- Light?
- Of course.

Won't you join me?

No, thank you.
I've given them up.

Then why do you carry
them with you?

To strengthen my willpower.

What good is willpower?

May I have
my cigarette case, please?

How much is it worth?

It is beyond price.

- It's mine.
- And this is mine.

Me? You couldn't afford
the down payment.

Come on, get your coat on.
You've got a date, remember?

So I have.

I happen to be looking
for a young lady.

So I notice.

Very tall, very beautiful.

Very blonde, very strong.

A little strange
in a manner, you know.

I don't know her name

but her initials are ABC.

- You know her.
- No.

- Now, why should you say that?
- Uh, you can tell me about her.

- You bet your life I can!
- Shut up!

There's no point
in asking her about women.

All she knows about is men.

Especially the size
of their wallets.

Alright, that's it,
Don Fortune.

May I have
my cigarette case, please?

There's your case.

My goodness, these young people

certainly take
their bowling seriously.

'Hey!'

Hey, Poirot, where're you going?
Come back, Poirot.

Hey, you!
Bring back those shoes.

- Poirot, come back.
- Hey, you, fat boy.

Hey, you!

Let go of me.
Will you let go of me?

- 'Where are you going?'
- 'I have to follow a man.'

Young lady.

Young lady,
I've been looking for you.

I am Hercule Poirot. Now, surely
you wanted me to find you.

I don't know you.
What do you want?

Oh, come, of course,
you remember wrestling with me

in the steam room?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

- I've never seen you before.
- Will you please turn this off?

- You want some help, miss?
- Yes, please.

This man keeps bothering me.

Oh, come on, please.
Young lady, please.

Please, young lady.
Please, please.

I think you better catch
some other bus, don't you?

You mind your own business.

He'll mind his
as long as you mind yours.

That young lady is my business.

- She doesn't think so.
- You mind your business!

Look, you just clear off.

- 'Someone get the police.'
- That's a good idea.

Call the police.
Call the police.

Thank you.

What's all this then?

Well, it's a bit
late for Christmas.

Sorry, sir. Been a long night.

You've noticed that too,
have you?

- I want to borrow some boots.
- Boots?

Boots.

I suppose it wouldn't
be in the national

interest to inquire--

No.

No, sir. What size boot, sir?

Well, I generally have..

Yes, well,
we won't go into all that again.

Just give me
the largest boots you have.

Ha. Dragbot!

- 'Take your boots off.'
- What?

No questions,
take off your boots.

Now then,
I want your help in tracing

a very important missing person.

I better see your inspector
in charge of CID.

I'm afraid you can't, sir.
He's out on a case.

Well, get him back.

Well, it's a,
it's a case of murder, sir.

- Scotland Yard are involved.
- Yes.

We don't want
little routine matters to..

- Did you say murder?
- These things do happen, sir.

Ah-ah, thank you, Dragbot.

- Boots, sir.
- Thank you.

I suppose
the victim wasn't a little

short bald-headed Belgian

with a bit of a beak, was he?

I hope they fit, sir.

You don't mean a very short

very balding, little
Belgian, with a beak?

That's what I just said.

This way, sir.

Well, the charge is using
insulting behavior towards

a young woman with intent
to commit a breach of the peace.

Sir. Uh..

There's nothing to worry about.

He, uh,
claims he's doing his yoga.

Well, Poirot,
what are you doing there?

Get up, get down at once!

- Open the door, come on!
- 'Yes, sir.'

When I collected
your clothes in the hotel

they asked me
when you were leaving.

I told them today.

Then you erred,
my dear Hastings.

You erred.

Your, uh, valuables, sir.

- I'm sorry, sir--
- I do not wish to discuss it.

- Or even to think about it.
- Yes, sir.

Look, why don't you go home?
Then I could go home.

I've been up all night.
My wife won't understand.

There's a telephone.
There's a telephone.

I'm not allowed to tell her
that I'm in the secret service.

She thinks I'm in the Ministry
of Agriculture and Fisheries.

Beyond belief!

Please, tell me
where you're going.

I cannot see why they're
having such difficulty.

The whole thing
is very clear, Mr. Stringer.

I quite agree, Ms. Marple.

The solution is ABC.

to anyone
with half a brain cell.

If you must know,
I've some unfinished business

with my little
bowling instructors.

Then, I shall have
to come with you.

I can't prevent you but at least
don't appear to be with me.

If you must follow,
must you follow so close?

Listen.

Ah, ah.

Follow!

You mustn't be afraid.

It pays to be careful.

Ah-ha-ha! Violent boyfriend.

Is she dead?

Hmm?

- Dead.
- Oh.

Any-any blood?

- Blood?
- Blood, blood.

- 'No.'
- Oh.

- Just a book.
- Hm.

"ABC," the initials
of the blonde. ABC!

But..

Well, you've taken
your time getting here.

You can thank Mr. Poirot
for this. There's your murderer.

'This is Inspector Japp of Scotland Yard.'

I've talked to your
ambassador, sir.

- Aw, how is he?
- Oh, very well, sir.

I'd like to apologize
for this misunderstanding, sir.

I got the name as "Parot."

Of course,
if I'd realized it was Purot.

- Poirot.
- Yes, that's right.

Yeah, well,
never mind all that now.

- Did you telephone my wife?
- Oh, yes, sir.

She says she's looking forward
to having you home again.

- Inspector!
- Oh. Yes, sir.

Now, so, this blond young woman,
so this nutcase, sir..

Actually, I said her manner
was rather strange, did I not?

Yes, sir, yes.

You say you've seen her on just
those two occasions, sir.

Yes.
Try that trouser pocket, man.

Oh, yes.

She didn't happen
to threaten you

with an air gun, sir?

- Air gun?
- 'Yes.'

That's how she was killed,
a poison dart to the neck

fired from a high velocity
air pistol.

And don't you know
it was not a blow gun?

- Ah..
- Congratulations.

Now, you've seen this blonde
only on these two occasions?

To repeat myself, yes.

- There.
- Thank you.

- And you, sir?
- To repeat myself, once.

Give me the key, I'll manage.

You know, it's funny she never

tried this air gun
lark on you, sir.

I mean,
that seems her modus operandi.

I mean, there was this
water clown and now this one.

Same fatal death, sir.

Yes, that man's name

was Albert Arken, AA.

The initials of
my strange blonde, A-B-C.

Her first victim, AA.

Her second, BB.

Her third..

CC.

'She thinks she's going
right through the'

'alphabet, inspector.'

All finished here, sir.

Yeah. Alright, sergeant.
Carry on.

How do you explain this calling card?

A nutcase.

Could it be that someone
wants to make

quite sure this girl,
ABC is blamed?

'No, no. You saw for yourself, she attacked you.'

You jumped to that conclusion.

No, no, I didn't. You did.

Oh, come, we're splitting ears.

As the good inspector said

she could easily have used
her air gun on me, twice.

Why did she not?
My little gray cells answered.

Maybe, she did not want
Poirot's life.

Maybe, what she wanted
was Poirot's help.

Well, sir, all the help she
may want, she can get from us.

- From you?
- The police.

'In the meantime, I'd be glad if you'

'and the captain
would accompany me'

'to the police station
and write'

'out your statements, sir.'

And, of course,
any theories you may have--

Statements? Theories?
There is no time.

Afterwards,
I will be glad to provide you

with a motorcycle escort
to London airport.

Oh, that's very kind
of him, isn't it?

- 'Thank you, inspector.'
- 'The pleasure is mine.'

Where is the bathroom?

Why? Oh..

- You better go with him, sir.
- No, I'm alr..

Oh, I see what you mean. Yes.

- Through there, sir.
- Thank you, I'll come.

As you wish. A thought for you
to conjure with, inspector.

Who is CC?

'Help!'

It came from the most
beautiful head in Europe.

- What?
- I used it to pick your lock.

Shh!

My wife.

Oh, well.. No, no.

You come here
to make trouble for me

about Betty, haven't you?

I'm in the position
to ask questions, not you.

Who is ABC?

I thought last night
you knew about her.

And I thought last night
you knew about her. No?

I tried to pick her up
a few weeks ago.

Betty was giving me
the runaround

I wanted to make her jealous.

I did.

It's very important
you tell me about this girl.

What, her?

No.

Betty.

- No.
- 'Oh.'

ABC.

Well, she gave me the brush off.

I don't know anymore about her

than than the initials
on her handbag.

You want to talk
to Dr. Doncaster, not me.

Doncaster?

Some headshrinker
she's been going around with.

You don't seem
to like him very much.

He's after Betty too.

Well, why don't you go
and bother him?

You're obviously potty,
so he'd be fascinated.

- I think we will meet again.
- I hope so.

Then I shall be able
to break your neck, won't I?

Excuse me, madam.

'Oh!'

Ah, you have
a death wish, I see.

Ah, Dr. Doncaster,
your secretary

told me I'd find you here.

- 'Did she indeed?'
- 'Yes.'

Speaking of a death wish

do the initials ABC
mean anything to you?

- Should they?
- Or the name, Betty Barnard.

Can't we have him arrested?

Well, it seems we're acquainted.

One of your patients, obviously.

Not a patient exactly, no.

No. Although it's true, madam

I would like to discuss
with Dr. Doncaster

'what I have on my mind.'

In Rotten Row?

That depends on the
good doctor, doesn't it?

Uh, yes. Well, shall we say
at my office in an hour.

I don't think we should say
anything of the sort, darling.

Because in an hour,
you'll be somewhere with me.

Yes, of course. I..

I'm afraid, I shan't be free
until six o'clock.

Very well. Six sharp.

Where have I seen her before?

Where was it?

'Monsieur Poirot.'

'Monsieur Poirot.'

You were looking for me
last night, weren't you?

And I found you. You remember.

Not exactly. I did tell you
about AA, didn't I?

Yes, you did.

And now you're going
to tell me about BB, hm?

- Oh, please.
- Don't do that.

Let's talk. BB is dead.

'Who killed her?'

- Do you want my balloons?
- Yes.

Then I'll have your funny hat.

Alo!

Pull.

Now, let's gather around.

I propose to assume the girl

'is still somewhere
in this area, here.'

'Now, I propose to divide
it into convenient sections'

'and allot one car and two of
you to each section, you see.'

'Now, Jenkins..'

Yes, Sir Edward. I mean, Sir X.

'And, uh, Roberts, I think, you take this area here.'

I quite agree, sir, it's not

in the best tradition
of the service.

'Smith and Hodgeson, this area, there.'

I don't regard him
as being lost.

I regard him as being
temporarily mislaid.

'Bachmann and Arbeid, this area to the left side.'

- 'Alright, sir.'
- 'Uh..'

Thank you, sir.

'Now, Denham and Ibbotson'

'that area down there.'

'Alright?'

Now, look here, inspector

the armed murder here and there

is neither here nor there.

X tells me that anything
happens to Poirot

Her Majesty's government
will have to apologize.

He's got to be found!

Yeah. Well, you look after
your nutcase, captain

and I'll look after mine.

Japp.

Yes. Yes.

What?

- He's been at it again, sir.
- Has he?

- Where?
- Uh, where?

Hyde Park.
Molesting a young woman, sir.

- Oh, my goodness--
- What? On a horse?

- You mean she was on the horse?
- Uh..

Who was on the horse?
Oh, he was, sir.

That's something to be thankful.
Oh, well, nail him, nail him.

Alright, yeah.

Look, get me a car
and two motorcycles.

I thought
you've given up smoking.

This is a celebration.

Oh, really? Heh.

What are you celebrating?

I'm celebrating
my first cigarette

in 51 days.

You must have one.

Oh, that's awfully nice of you.

Oh, that's very nice of you.

- We're friends, eh?
- Of course.

Good. I was so hoping, you know,
that if you couldn't see it from

Her Majesty's government's
point of view

you would see it from mine,
well, I mean

'I've got really
no interest in this matter'

except just to get home

explain things to my wife.

- 'Get a shave.'
- Hm.

Get these boots off

and get some sleep.

Hm. Yes, of course.

Well, I mean,
you got some sleep last night.

Hm, a little in the cell. Yes.

All that yogi stuff,
upside down.

You slept like a bat.

Yes, I suppose I did.

I say..

...these cigarettes are ripping.

Where did you get them?

- I make them myself.
- Really? Oh!

Fancy.

You know..

...I've always wanted..

...to make my own
cigarettes-s-s.

Was the question
of getting the right filter.

- Miss Sparks.
- Yes, doctor.

I know I have
another appointment

tonight but you needn't wait.
Goodnight.

I could work late again.

'Are you absolutely certain?'

'I mean,
are you quite sure, you--'

Quite, quite sure.

Yes, doctor.

'Doctor, it is exactly 6 o'clock.'

Good evening.

I suppose
your business is blackmail.

My business is justice.
I am Poirot.

I am not interested
in your name.

Only in what you're up..

- Poirot?
- Hercule Poirot, please.

Yes, of course. It does look rather ridiculous, doesn't it?

- Won't you..
- Doctor..

Betty Barnard is dead.

Shock tactics, eh,
Monsieur Poirot?

I'm sorry to disappoint you.

It was in the evening papers.

'You're an intimate friend
of hers, of course.'

Of course.

'No tears, doctor?'

No tears, Monsieur Poirot.

She was an experiment.

An experiment?

A near perfect
specimen of the, uh

primitive aggressive female
acquisitive personality.

In lay language, a gold-digger.

I see.

Women and their mental
processes are my work.

- Interesting work.
- I enjoy it.

Is that all?

Who is ABC?

ABC.

Blonde, beautiful

very tall.

You're speaking of Amanda,
of course.

Amanda! Amanda, who?

- Amanda Beatrice Cross.
- ABC.

- Tell me about her.
- I'm sorry.

I never discuss
my patients with anyone.

Your patient, eh?
You still treating her?

No, she went
to Switzerland last month.

Some idea that the mountain air
will be beneficial.

- Hm.
- I haven't seen her since.

And what if I tell you
that your former patient

asserts she's a murderess.

I'm not surprised.

That she asserts it,
or that she is?

She's a certain type
of schizophrenic.

Split personality.

Perhaps I can explain it
in simple language.

A paranoid schizophrenic,
one-half immature

one-half influenced
by a system of delusions.

'Probably,
delusions of persecution.'

Conscientious with their sharply
developing obsessional anxiety.

Uh, quite.

'One moment homicidal'

the next,
a frightened child actually.

- 'Indeed.'
- Now, tell me, doctor.

Is it possible
for this obsession

to take the form
of a preoccupation with..

...the alphabet, ABC?

Monsieur Poirot, for you,
I'm prepared to break a rule.

Please, sit down.

'Listen.'

'A, B, C.'

'A-A, B-B.'

'B...B'

'A, B, C.'

'A-A'

'B-B.'

'I injected her
with a so called truth drug.'

I use it sometimes
to break down inhibitions.

- But is that all?
- 'Yes.'

She proved
90% Pentothal resistant.

What she said there
was its only effect.

But at least it crystallized
her obsession.

So that people with initials
AA, BB and CC and so on

would be the natural targets
for her homicidal drive, eh?

- Obviously.
- Hmm.

Tell me, doctor

is it possible for such
a person to be dominated?

- Dominated?
- Used as an instrument.

Either for murder itself

or a cover for murder?

It would make
a fascinating experiment.

Thank you vey much, doctor.

We shall resume this
consultation at a future date.

- Amanda!
- Hide me. Please, hide me.

Amanda, you must go out
the way you came in.

No. Please, no.

Go out the way you came in!

I'll do anything.

Anything, anything.

Oh.

If you don't mind my saying so,
captain, your appearance

is getting a little embarrassing
even for the secret service.

A wash and brush-up
wouldn't hurt.

Yes, well,
it's only a suggestion.

- Look, there he is!
- Well, stop him!

'Mr. Bat-- Come back!'

- Drive. Drive.
- I'm very sorry, sir.

- This is a police car, sir.
- Police?

Taxi! Taxi!

Drive. Drive.

Come back, Poirot!

'"Sir Carmichael Clarke."'

'Oh, that will be
the famous ship owner.'

'Carmichael..'

Carmichael Clarke, CC.

- CC.
- Oui, oui, to you, monsieur.

- Where you going?
- Ah!

Uh, "6 Darlington Square"
and hurry.

"6 Darlington Square."
Are you sure?

Yes, of course..

No. We must go to
The Dorchester, I must change.

Are you suggesting
that this young woman

is going about London
killing people

and that she now proposes
to butcher me?

Yes.

Simply because
my initials are CC?

Yes.

What you need, sir, is a sherry.

- Thank you, sir.
- I'm sorry, Monsieur Poirot.

What you are saying
is sheer nonsense.

The police at least
don't think so.

In fact, I imagine, they'll be

at this home very shortly.

The police here, why?

To protect you.

Sir Carmichael.

Diane, may I remind you
that we are expecting

a guest for dinner.

Oh, Judson,
some men may be calling shortly.

Police, send them away.

You may stay for
as long as it takes you

to finish your sherry,
Monsieur Poirot.

Lady Carmichael..

- Allow me.
- Thank you.

You just heard
our master's voice.

Lady Carmichael, hm.

- Is anything the matter?
- Egyptian tobacco.

- Do have one.
- No.

I mean, no, thank you.
I've given them up.

- Poor man.
- Lady Carmichael..

I'm sure you can persuade
your husband

to take this matter seriously.

- Really?
- Yes, of course.

Monsieur Poirot,
in certain moods

no one can persuade my husband
of anything.

Not even me. Believe it or not.

My step.. My stepbrother lives

in a square world
of his own, Mr. Poirot.

For instance, he still thinks
I'm too young to drink.

Most people are.

I must say that he's taking
this whole affair

with remarkable coolness
and so are you.

Seriously, old Clark
has been monotonously right.

For instance, if there's
anything wrong with Amanda

she certainly
won't do us any harm.

As long as it takes you
to drink your sherry

the master said.

Strange family.

Ah! No, no.

Backdoor.

Go away.

I want a word
with Sir Carmichael Clarke.

Sir Carmichael Clarke
does not want a word with you.

Alright, captain,
we'll return to the square.

If you'll be kind enough
to observe the premises

I'll procure a search warrant.

It's alright, Judson.

Very well, madam.

- Diane--
- Shh!

- Look, something came up--
- Oh, never mind.

I've missed you.

Oh, congratulations.

W-why are you still here?

I was told I could
finish my sherry.

Well, I never like to see
a man drinking alone.

Why don't we join him, Diane?

Well, we are civilized, eh?

'Tell me, doctor, how did you get along'

'with my friend Inspector Japp?'

Oh, a plain closed case

of retarded development
I should say.

But not as interesting
as the chap who was with him.

A sort of tramp in a bowler hat.

Oh, yes. They are inseparable.

I put it to them,
Monsieur Poirot

as I put it to you. Thank you.

This girl is lost, distracted.

- You've seen her?
- No. No, no.

But that's how I imagine
she must be by now.

Anyhow, I feel that any shock

'such as a clumsy attempt
to arrest her'

'might well send her right over
the edge into suicide.'

'Oh, poor Amanda.'

'I offered my full cooperation
to Inspector Japp'

but I might as well have been
talking to a trained chimpanzee.

Yes. Did you also offer
your full cooperation

in the case of Betty Barnard?

- I explained about her, yes.
- Yeah.

May I, may I have my lighter?
Thank you.

Did you also explain that you
and Miss Barnard were friends?

Actually more than that.

Duncan!

Duncan?

Doncaster?

DD?

'Congratulations, sir.'

Car, eavesdropping?

My wife is never jealous of me.

How very interesting.

The cheater cheated.
The deceiver deceived.

You're taking a long time
over your sherry.

It-it-it's such a large glass.

Didn't think
I knew about it, did you?

Sneak out
in the middle of the night.

Back before the old fool wakes.
So clever.

I presume you have some grants

for these allegations,
Sir Carmichael?

Grants?

Certainly.

The word of a gentleman
but you so obviously are not so.

I happened to be passing, sir.

Ask Mr. Franklin
to come here, please.

So it was Franklin.

- Mr. Franklin is out, sir.
- Out where?

Well, he said he was going
to the Belfry, sir.

- The Belfry?
- A gaming club!

Your precious stepbrother's
practically bought the place.

- With your money.
- I don't believe you.

Go and see for yourself!

- I'll be dining alone, Judson.
- Very well, sir.

I shall require a taxi
at 9 o'clock.

Well, I suppose
I won't finish my sherry.

Will you excuse me?
Madame...doctor.

Hold on. Hold on.

'I'm coming. I'm coming.'

Sir, please excuse me.

Thank you.

Sir Carmichael. Sir Carmichael.

'Excuse me. Excuse me.'

- 'Sir Carmichael.'
- Please leave me alone.

- Please listen to me, sir.
- Stand up. I wanna talk to you.

'Sir, believe me, your life is in danger.'

- I have some questions.
- Your life is in danger

Ah!

That's him running away.
He did it! He did it!

Ah!

Oh!

- Ah!
- I've got you!

ABC, I've got you.

Help. I've got the murderer.

Help me! Help me!

No! Not me!

No, you fools!

You fools, not me! No!

Don't you at least wish to know
my thinking on this case?

Every policeman in London
is looking for ABC, yes?

Well, she's not only remarkably
beautiful and remarkably blonde

she's about six feet tall.

'Does not something strike you?'

But of course,
why haven't you caught her?

'Precisely.'

Someone must be arboring her.

Arboring her?

- Arboring her.
- Harboring her. That's right.

I asked myself, who?

My little gray cells replied

"Probably, Doctor Doncaster."

Call him, tell him
ABC has been spotted

and your men are closing in.

- Then, if I am right..
- He'll go to her.

Exactly.

Really, it's so simple,
it's childish.

And that's all it is, childish.

What kind of a nut
is gonna harbor a nut

who's already killed
three times?

Oh!

Oh, so sorry. Oh.

I trust you'll allow me
to accept defeat with dignity.

I don't relish this,
this bum's rush.

No, no, of course not.
Alright, inspector.

I'll take it from here.
Come along.

Oh! Come on, boys.

I must say, you're taking
this extremely well.

- Just like an Englishman.
- Oh, you flatter me.

- Not at all. I mean it.
- Thank you.

- Not at all.
- Thank you.

- Allow me.
- Oh, thank you.

'Help! Help!'

I believe there's a man locked
in there. You must find a key.

'Help!'

To town.

This hairpin came from the head

of the most difficult woman
in England

my wife's.

Hastings, I'm beginning to think
I've underestimated you.

Shall we return?

- Too much trouble.
- Really?

If I put you on a plane, you'll
only come back on the next.

Oh, yes.

You're determined not to go home
until you've solve the case.

Yes.

Very well, then,
I shall speed things up.

I've decided to help you.
Proceed, driver.

What are you going to do?

Well, I shall ring
Doctor Doncaster

impersonate Inspector Japp--

- You?
- Of course.

It's easy.

'Allo. Dr. Doncaster?

This is Inspector Japp.

Well, you'll be very wise
to tell him that.

- This is Dr. Doncaster.
- 'Hello.'

'This is Inspector Japp
here, sir.'

I think we may be able to use
your help after all, sir.

We've just spotted
the young lady.

- 'Spotted her?'
- Uh, spotted, sir.

We're hoping to pick her up
at any moment.

'So, if you'll just hold
yourself available, sir--'

Where did you find her?

No, I'm afraid
I can't tell you any more

just at the moment, goodbye.

Well, what did you
think of that?

Very good.

I could have done that.

Got to remember the number of the car.

- Yes.
- H-M-X 1-3-B. H-M-X 1-3-B.

- H-M-B-1-3-X.
- H-M-B-1-3-X.

- 'Ah!'
- 'H-M-X 1-3-B.'

That's right.
I forgot to tell you.

It's a big white American car.

Shh! Open the boot.

In!

Oh, I really don't think
I should care for that.

That's usually for the luggage.

Did you wish to work
with Poirot? In.

Huh? Oh, what have you done?

- What is it now?
- We're working together, yes?

- Well, where are we?
- Shh!

He went that way.

Phew.

Well, wait. My foot's stuck.

My foot's stuck!

Oh.

Oh, hello there.

Would you mind coming over here?

'Oh.'

'Could you come a bit closer?'

Oh.

I wonder if I might
trespass on your kindness.

I-I can't get out.
It's my foot, you see?

- It's got caught somehow.
- Oh..

Has your little foot got caught?

- That's right.
- Has it? Oh..

- Ow!
- Oh, it's got caught.

Oh. I'll have
to unlace your shoes.

Hold on.

Good evening.

Goodnight.

Oh, there you are, Mr. Poirot.

Yes.

And not back home in Brussels.

No.

- Might I enquire--
- Is he dead?

- Oh, yes, very much.
- Oh. Oh.

- Hmm.
- Steady on. Steady.

Here, sit down.

Thank you, thank you.

- Poison dart, I suppose, huh?
- 'Yeah, in the neck.'

- Hm. Yeah.
- And the usual, of course.

The girl! She was here.

Well, she's not here now,
but we'll find her.

- But who hit Poirot?
- Ah, let's have him in.

Alright, you.

Ah-ha!

- He admits to clobbering you.
- Does he?

- 'Made a complete statement.'
- 'Did he?'

Boiled down,
he thought Doncaster had killed

his girlfriend, Betty Barnard.

- He was following the doctor.
- Was he?

- You were in the way.
- I was. Ha.

When he got to the cabin,
Doncaster was dead

and the girl gone.

We're not holding him
for the killing.

We know who did that, don't we?

- Do we?
- Hm.

But no doubt,
you'll want to press a charge

'of assault and battery.'

- I will? No.
- Eh?

- It's not..
- Hm?

It's not in the public interest.

Oh, what isn't?

For it to become known
among the criminal classes

that Poirot can be hit
over the head.

Very well. See him off.

Call yourself a copper. Heh.

I'm not a copper.

Well now, ahem,
the deceased appears

'to have been harboring
this young woman.'

Yes. Well, any, um..

Thank you. Any, what you would
call, clues, inspector?

Clues appertain
to mysteries, Mr. Poirot.

- There is no mystery here.
- Hm. Lipstick.

Egyptian cigarette.

So that's what the girl smokes.

Yes, and so does
Lady Diane Clarke.

Very interesting, I'm sure.

Where is Hastings?

Well, we might
introduce ourselves.

My name's Hastings.
Captain Hastings.

Ministry of Agriculture and--

Connie, phone Victoria, 1-9-9-2.

Hah. How do you do?
I must make a note of that.

Hastings! Hastings!

Hastings?

Hastings, it's Poirot.
I'll get you out.

Oh! Ah..

What are you doing,
if I may ask?

My foot stuck and the lock,
must've jammed.

Oh, really?

- We found the girl, sir.
- Oh.

Oh!

My dear young la..

- That's her! Stop her.
- Right, I want nets.

Yes, sir.

'Right, you and you
get up there after her.'

- See if you can talk her down.
- No, no, no, please.

If she sees someone coming,
she will jump.

Well, she'll probably
do that anyway.

'Hurry up with those nets.'

Oh, but if she really did
come to me for help?

Are you still on about that?
Go on. Get up there.

If only I could talk to her.

Now, look, Mr. Poirot

either they go up or you go up.

Hold my cane, please.

You will hurry those nets, huh?

Uh, bring those nets!

Amanda.

Amanda, please come down.

If you come down,
I can assist you.

Amanda, please.

You asked for my help before,
I want to help you all I can.

'I know you're not to blame.
It's not your fault.'

'Amanda!'

I'm your friend!

I know you're not responsible.

'It will be alright. I promise.'

Amanda.

I want you to come down.

Too late. It's too late.

'No, it's not too late.'

'No.'

'No, Amanda!'

No!

Please. No, don't.

Don't jump. Please, don't jump.

Let me try it.

Oh, it's really excellent.

'You mustn't travel
on an empty stomach, you know?'

Are you sure? Well, here goes.

It's wonderful how they get
this stuff up, you know.

It's nothing but a load of old--

- Oh, there you are.
- X!

Not in public, dear chap.

Sir Edward, please.

How are you, Hercule?

Teddy. Teddy!
My old friend, good to see you.

- Sit down.
- Ah, thank you.

Oh!

Oh, sorry.

Well, I just thought I'd drop in

and wish you
bon voyage, Hercule.

Pity the way things turned out
from your point of view, I mean.

Well, of course, it was
an open and shut case all along.

Curious, you couldn't see that.

'I often feel you
continental chaps are just'

'a little bit too fanciful
for your own good.'

Hm, Gaelic temperament,
I suppose.

- Aye, Hastings?
- Oh, yeah, yes.

Extraordinary mixed bag,
wasn't it?

I mean a water clown

'a bowling alley instructress'

a ship owner
and a psychiatrist.

Hm, no rhyme or reason in it.

Still the poor thing
was quite mad.

Better off where she is,
I suppose. Bottom of the river.

Oh, well, that's life.

Ah, what have we here? Kidneys?

I should've thought red herrings

are more in your line,
eh, Hercule?

Red herring.
Red herring, of course!

- What?
- Kill four to kill one.

- Teddy, old friend, I'm sorry.
- Hercule, sit down.

You still have
your health, Hercule.

'The government wants
to keep it that way.'

In one hour from now,
my private plane

'will be taking you home
to Brussels.'

Teddy, Teddy, my dear old--

You are dealing with me
this time.

- Not him.
- Teddy. Please, believe me.

Uh.. I say,
hadn't I better make the sauce

for the jolly old rognone.

- Teddy, Teddy, please--
- Sauce for the kidneys.

Yes.

Well, yes. By Jove,
I believe, I can help you there.

Ah, the kidneys.
Yes, now, first the sauce.

- The sauce.
- Lots and lots of sauce.

Now, what have we here?

The brandy.

Give it a good tot.

No. A bit more in there.

Yes. Alright, now ready?

- Yes, indeed.
- Alright, we pour it in.

Move back.

Voila.

- Please close the door at once.
- Ah, the foreign gentleman.

I wish to speak
to Mr. Franklin Clark.

I'm afraid Mr. Franklin
is out, sir.

Very well, then. Lady Diane.

I'm afraid she's also out, sir.

Phew. Where are they?

They will shortly be
on their way to Scotland, sir.

The 532 from King's Cross.

- Scotland?
- For the funeral, sir.

Mr. Franklin and Lady Diane
are taking my late employer

aboard one of his ships
at Greenock.

The burial, you understand,
is to be at sea.

'Afterwards, sir, Mr. Franklin
and Lady Diane are proceeding'

in the same vessel
on a sunshine cruise

of the South Americas to recover
from what they describe

as the strain
of the past few days.

Ah, I see.

Come, get up.

I say, must we go on
rushing around like this?

I'm really feeling a bit queasy.

Is it my imagination
or is it rather warm in here?

Mr. Franklin turned up
the central heating

before leaving and instructed
that it remained so, sir.

- It is somewhat warm.
- Good, then I'm alright.

Turn up the central heating?

Hmm.

Hastings, don't stand
there like a monument.

Where have you been?
What have you been doing?

Arranging a little
extra insurance, my friend.

Oh, really,
personally, I always feel

perfectly safe
with British Railways.

Mind you, it's very different
in France, isn't it?

I wouldn't know.
I'm not French. I'm Belgian.

Well, it's the same thing.
You both eat horse meat.

Oh. No offence, old man.

Ha. After all,
it's you and I now, isn't it?

Against the world. Hah.

'Come in.'

- Well.
- Well?

I think we deserve
a little drink, don't you?

Napoleon Brandy

I've been keeping it
for a special occasion.

What shall we drink to?

To our good fortune,
don't you think?

Mind you,
I feel sorry in a way.

Oh?

But I feel grateful to old Car

for being so...rich.

I'm grateful to you.

Hm.

Oh.

Is anything the matter, Diane?

I don't know.
Suddenly I feel dizzy.

Really?

Franklin, what's happening?

Franklin, it's the drink.

You.. Oh!

Oh.

It's quite alright, my darling.

I've just put you to sleep
for the moment.

- Can I help you, honey?
- I can manage.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Control yourself, madam.
I'm not stopping, madam.

- Thank you.
- Poirot.

Of course.

I think you owe me
an explanation.

Very well, I believe

you're now considerably
richer than you were, ah?

If you're referring
to my expectations

on the death of my stepbrother,
yes, I am, but..

But? But? But?

Well, she'll inherit
just as much as I--

Oh, yes, yes,
I do know that, of course.

Ah, we were just, um

coming in here to see
if everything was alright.

Uh-huh?

- And then she passed out.
- Oh.

Assisted by a few grains of barbiturate

dissolved in brandy, eh?

Napoleon brandy, actually.

To resume.

I agree that Lady Diane
also has the motive.

Motive? Motive for what?

For killing four people
to kill one.

And thus, inherit a fortune.

I.. I'm afraid
you're far ahead of me.

I ask myself

why should someone
kill four times

and make it look like
the work of a maniac?

My little gray cells answer

because there was
an obvious motive

to kill just one of them.

So obvious, in fact

that even our friend,
Inspector Japp

'would be on to it at once'

unless there were enough
red herrings.

I've killed no one.

Neither my stepbrother,
nor anybody else.

Oh, I know that.
I know that you are no killer.

You see, the real killer
killed just once too often.

Don't you agree?

You mean when I killed myself?

It grieves me to admit it
did not occur to me at the time

but then everything
began to fall into place.

What if,
when you went to Switzerland

it was not for your health

but to contact AA?

'What if he taught you
his diving tricks?'

How to fall from a great height
into the water

and survive?

Yes?

Yes.

You are very clever

Monsieur Poirot.

And so now I wonder
why you have deliberately

involved Poirot in this?

Oh, baffling the great
Monsieur Poirot

added spice.

'I'm sure you will understand.'

My vanity is as great as yours.

Vanity?
What do you mean, vanity?

I'm not vain..

Allow me to hypothesize

what will happen now.

I will join Lady Diane
in that coffin.

And together
we will be buried at sea.

In place
of Sir Carmichael Clarke

whose body even now,
is being used to boost

the central heating
of his own house.

Exactly.

'You then, will take'

the place of Lady Diane

and together
with your brave chaperone..

'...sail to the South Americas'

with both halves
of the fortune to come.

Exactly.

And now, Monsieur Poirot

your death will be
an advantage to me

'but not, I'm afraid, to you.'

Naturally, I anticipated
my little remarks

would cause some
small unpleasantness.

I do hope my insurance
is still in effect.

What are you doing?
Stop it! Stop it!

Oh, stop that, will you?

'Ow!'

'I'm coming, Poirot. Poirot!'

Hastings.

'Hold steady, old fellow'

'I'm on my way.'

- 'I'll help you.'
- Hastings?

'I'm coming, we're in this together. Hold on.'

- Where are you?
- I'll save you. I'm coming.

Poirot

I'll save you.

Poirot, save me!

Poirot, help! Help!

So, Hastings, dear friend, you

you're taking
this like a Belgian.