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1
00:00:01,159 --> 00:00:03,879
-Come on, we're going to be late!
-Come on, we're late!
2
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:08,400
Take it, take the bread, let's go!
Come on, come on, into the car!
3
00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:11,679
Come on!
4
00:00:12,919 --> 00:00:14,679
Oh, God, come on!
5
00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:17,800
You stop it!
6
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,199
Give me. Stop it!
7
00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:22,679
Don't do that to your brother!
8
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:23,760
Give me the Bop-it!
9
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:25,199
Chill out!
10
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,439
You're late! So I'm going to be late.
Go and find your book bag.
11
00:00:36,039 --> 00:00:37,880
Where's the baby's
trousers and other shoe?
12
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:42,240
OK, one shoe's all I can manage,
and he said he doesn't like trousers.
13
00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:45,759
So when am I going to meet
this Debbie woman then?
14
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:50,399
OK, it's not Debbie, it's Debbie-Louise,
and she's not a woman, she's my partner.
15
00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:53,759
What? She went from zero
to partner in three weeks?
16
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,759
Didn't even have to climb the charts?
17
00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,240
-What is she, Ed Sheeran?
-OK, well, you don't need to meet her.
18
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,439
Course I do! She's moved in!
19
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:01,679
She's living in your home.
20
00:01:01,759 --> 00:01:04,079
If my kids are going to be
using the same bathroom as her,
21
00:01:04,159 --> 00:01:05,319
then I want to meet her.
22
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,159
-She could be a nutter.
-I don't go out with nutters.
23
00:01:08,239 --> 00:01:11,840
What are you fucking talking about?
Of course you do!
24
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:17,840
-Hiya!
-Hi!
25
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:21,519
Morning.
26
00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:26,280
-You got time for a coffee?
-No, sorry.
27
00:01:26,359 --> 00:01:28,040
Couples counselling today.
28
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,560
Oh, OK. Good luck with that.
29
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,359
Oh, no, everything's fine.
It's just preventative.
30
00:01:33,439 --> 00:01:35,439
We're rock solid, Jill and I.
31
00:01:35,519 --> 00:01:36,920
Although she disagrees.
32
00:01:38,079 --> 00:01:40,000
It's like physio or yoga.
33
00:01:40,079 --> 00:01:42,319
We're just doing it to
keep the marriage supple.
34
00:01:43,239 --> 00:01:44,319
Gonzalez.
35
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,000
-You got time for a chat?
-No, no, no.
36
00:01:46,079 --> 00:01:49,000
I received an official
bollocking for lateness yesterday.
37
00:01:51,959 --> 00:01:52,920
Who's that?
38
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,359
Don't touch the door.
It's automatic open.
39
00:01:56,439 --> 00:01:59,439
It opens on its own.
Don't touch the door.
40
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:02,239
-Holy shit, it's Ann.
-Why's she got all of those kids?
41
00:02:02,319 --> 00:02:05,280
She's part of the car
pool now, for school drops.
42
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,159
Car pool? Car...
Why don't we have a car pool?
43
00:02:07,239 --> 00:02:09,919
-That would really help me!
-I live right there!
44
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:14,039
-If I spit now, I'd hit my window.
-I don't drive. My wife does the driving.
45
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,680
I'm sans licence.
46
00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:20,680
Thought you were late.
47
00:02:20,759 --> 00:02:22,759
Hey! Ann!
48
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:24,199
Nice big car!
49
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:27,800
Yeah, we traded in the old
one for this flashy so-and-so.
50
00:02:27,879 --> 00:02:29,280
It's a bit hi-tech now for me,
51
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:33,400
but I couldn't look at the Volvo
the same after I ran over the cat.
52
00:02:33,479 --> 00:02:36,719
But anyway, it means I get
to run a car pool now, so...
53
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:40,039
Yeah. I'd love to talk to
you about that sometime.
54
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,479
-Hello, Claire.
-Bloody hell, Ann!
55
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:44,639
Nice wheels!
How many kids can you fit in there?
56
00:02:44,719 --> 00:02:46,280
Safely? Nine.
57
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,560
So you might have room for
a couple more in the car pool?
58
00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:50,080
Yeah, well...
59
00:02:50,159 --> 00:02:52,560
Oh, my God! You bought it!
60
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,080
You look like a drug dealer, Ann!
61
00:02:56,159 --> 00:02:58,639
It's actually the top-rated
people carrier on Which?, so...
62
00:02:58,719 --> 00:02:59,919
You're in my spot.
63
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:01,800
Joking, but you are.
64
00:03:03,599 --> 00:03:06,159
We should definitely,
definitely catch up soon.
65
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,800
-I'd love to hear more about the car pool.
-I like your hair.
66
00:03:08,879 --> 00:03:10,439
Heidi's desperate to see Darius.
67
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,080
Do you want to come over for a play date?
68
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:14,000
We've just got a family
pass to Chessington.
69
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:15,360
Yeah, I can't talk and drive.
70
00:03:27,879 --> 00:03:29,759
So we need to make a new...
OK, that would be...
71
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:30,919
Amanda!
72
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:33,759
Amanda! Amanda!
73
00:03:35,879 --> 00:03:38,039
Amanda! Amanda!
74
00:03:40,159 --> 00:03:42,120
Don't think she saw me.
Amanda!
75
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,439
Don't think she could hear me.
76
00:03:49,639 --> 00:03:53,000
Love, if you're hungry,
just go over and help yourself.
77
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,520
No one'll notice.
78
00:03:54,599 --> 00:03:57,479
Just kick the ball by their rug
and grab a handful of crisps.
79
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,960
Right, go. Off you go! Hiya.
80
00:04:02,039 --> 00:04:03,599
Oh, you came.
81
00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:04,840
Pull up a pew.
82
00:04:04,919 --> 00:04:05,960
Or a jacket.
83
00:04:06,039 --> 00:04:08,360
You can sit on my jacket.
Oh, thanks.
84
00:04:09,599 --> 00:04:10,800
-Bubbles?
-Yeah.
85
00:04:18,319 --> 00:04:19,920
Hey, there's Ann.
86
00:04:21,319 --> 00:04:23,040
So what's been going on?
87
00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:24,160
Nothing much.
88
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:28,040
Apart from my ex, Lee,
having a new partner.
89
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,120
Not girlfriend, partner.
90
00:04:30,199 --> 00:04:32,199
Debbie-Louise, for fuck's sake.
91
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,680
Who double-barrels two stupid names?
92
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,439
Anyway, she's welcome to him.
93
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,920
All we'd do was fight, if I'm honest.
94
00:04:42,759 --> 00:04:43,920
I stabbed him once.
95
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,279
Just with a spork from
a Tesco pasta salad.
96
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,439
Just in the leg.
97
00:04:50,879 --> 00:04:52,399
Police got involved.
98
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,000
I got a caution for sporking.
99
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,480
The wanker.
100
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,800
Wish I could just stay
angry with him, but...
101
00:05:00,879 --> 00:05:03,439
he looks at me with his stupid eyes and...
102
00:05:04,519 --> 00:05:06,160
I'm 20 again.
103
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,360
And I don't have two kids,
104
00:05:08,439 --> 00:05:09,759
and it's Saturday night...
105
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:12,199
Julia?
106
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,000
What the hell?
107
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,600
Sorry, babe. Do you want
to go and get a coffee?
108
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:21,639
Yeah, all right.
109
00:05:22,759 --> 00:05:24,199
We'd love to, Ann.
110
00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:26,079
Great,
I'll see you back at mine in 20.
111
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,079
Wicked!
112
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,319
Coffee's not too hot, is it?
113
00:05:38,399 --> 00:05:39,759
No, no, no, it's perfect.
114
00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,240
-So true.
-Yeah.
115
00:05:43,319 --> 00:05:45,560
I made that. I made all of them.
116
00:05:45,639 --> 00:05:48,879
I got terribly into driftwood
crafting after my early menopause.
117
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:53,480
Oh, well, what you lost in the oestrogen
you definitely made up for in hobbies.
118
00:05:56,959 --> 00:05:58,160
Oh, that's Claire again.
119
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,519
Car pool business.
120
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,839
-I'm terribly popular all of a sudden.
-Annoying!
121
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,639
I don't know Claire at all,
122
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,959
but she's always struck
me as a bit of a user.
123
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,839
That might be unfair,
but I think it's true.
124
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,560
-Turn your phone off.
-Yeah.
125
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:17,160
-Can I get you girls anything to eat?
-Got a hobnob?
126
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,000
I don't have any hobnobs
but I can get you some.
127
00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:22,079
-I just meant a biscuit or...
-I'll go to the corner shop!
128
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,600
No, no, you don't need to do that.
129
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,079
Oh, it's fine, it's just two doors
down and one straight across.
130
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,759
I'll be two minutes, five minutes.
I'll take the car.
131
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:37,319
-Come on, you can get in on it, too.
-I live fucking opposite the school.
132
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,519
I've got to get up, my arse is numb.
133
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,000
-What are you doing?
-Just having a nose.
134
00:06:50,519 --> 00:06:54,040
Trying to fill my eyes with anything
that isn't a driftwood affirmation.
135
00:06:55,759 --> 00:06:57,399
Oh, God, that's creepy.
136
00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,439
Do you think there are others
in this range?
137
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,199
What, like, you've scraped a pass?
138
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,279
Oh, I love these!
139
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,519
-What are you doing?
-I had one of these then I was little.
140
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:09,600
But that's her dad!
141
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,240
That was her dead dad's face.
142
00:07:13,319 --> 00:07:14,839
-Her dead dad?
-Yes.
143
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,120
It was an impression of his
face, like a death mask.
144
00:07:17,199 --> 00:07:18,680
What do you mean?
How do you know that?
145
00:07:18,759 --> 00:07:20,839
Because they had it
like that since he died.
146
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,199
Well, that's stupid...
What are we going to do, Liz?
147
00:07:23,279 --> 00:07:24,279
What are we going to do?
148
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,920
We have just replaced her
dead dad's face with your fist.
149
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,839
We've got to fix it.
What are we going to do, Liz?
150
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,800
Just, like, put your face in it.
151
00:07:30,879 --> 00:07:33,160
I don't look anything like her dead dad.
152
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,199
You do a bit.
153
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:36,720
Scrape your hair back.
154
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,639
And put some glasses on,
he was a specs wearer.
155
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:42,360
-I don't have my glasses with me.
-I've got some of Charlie's. Hang on.
156
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:45,759
Give them to me.
157
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:48,839
You hold this. God!
158
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,079
What are you doing?
159
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,759
Just... trying to get a
better view of your garden.
160
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,759
-Is that a little cat grave?
-No. No, it's just a raised flower bed.
161
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,199
The foxes dug up the cat grave.
162
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,279
-Hello, Kevin.
-Amanda!
163
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,440
-Are you lost?
-No, I was just passing.
164
00:08:32,519 --> 00:08:34,000
-Can I...
-Of course.
165
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,519
Oh, watch your clean
shoes on the dirty doormat.
166
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,840
I wondered if you wouldn't
mind keeping quiet about
167
00:08:45,919 --> 00:08:47,840
seeing me at Dr Guldaguin's today.
168
00:08:47,919 --> 00:08:49,519
Oh, so you did see me, then.
169
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,879
Of course I saw you, Kevin.
You saw I saw you.
170
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000
Oh, right, yeah.
171
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:56,080
But then why...
172
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,639
Oh, yes, of course. Yes.
173
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:02,000
Yeah, it's just that I'm, you know...
174
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,840
I don't know what the word is,
kind of... high profile. Like, locally.
175
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,399
Which is nuts, of course,
176
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,720
because I'm actually a private person,
very discreet person and...
177
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,679
also the type of
person that people have
178
00:09:12,759 --> 00:09:14,919
an unhealthy interest in.
You know, like...
179
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,559
Nigella or Charday.
180
00:09:17,639 --> 00:09:19,600
No, of course, it's going no further.
181
00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:22,080
Jonny has huge jealousy issues.
182
00:09:23,399 --> 00:09:26,320
You know, on the one hand he
loves having an eye-catching wife
183
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,519
but he cannot deal with
the attention I get.
184
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:34,639
And the problem is
I bring it, every day.
185
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,279
I bring it, I never let myself down,
I always look my best and...
186
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:42,159
Johnny, of course, is like,
"Oh, who are you doing that for?"
187
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:43,360
And...
188
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,000
I'm like...
189
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,600
Well, I'm doing it for me.
190
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,240
Come on now.
191
00:09:51,399 --> 00:09:52,480
Johnny's...
192
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,320
Johnny's a very lucky guy.
193
00:09:55,639 --> 00:09:58,159
And every marriage has its issues.
194
00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,120
I just found out in counselling
that my wife finds me
195
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:04,559
less sexually attractive since
I've become a househusband.
196
00:10:04,639 --> 00:10:07,519
-She thinks I'm emasculated...
-I can't take on your shit right now.
197
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,840
No, yes, sorry. Of course. Sorry.
198
00:10:14,039 --> 00:10:15,399
You can talk to me any time.
199
00:10:16,399 --> 00:10:18,360
My door is always open,
200
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:20,519
and my mouth is always closed.
201
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:30,120
I'm sorry, I don't feel comfortable
with you touching me like that.
202
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:31,200
Said my wife.
203
00:10:44,759 --> 00:10:46,600
Did Charlie leave his scooter here?
204
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,360
-He doesn't have a scooter.
-Yeah, he does.
205
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,759
He found one in the park,
so he has a scooter.
206
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,039
Well, it's not here.
207
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,600
Shit.
208
00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:54,919
I bet someone's nicked it.
209
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,000
Where's Debbie Does Dallas?
210
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,000
It's Debbie-Louise, and she's at work.
211
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,440
-Where's all the kids' stuff?
-What?
212
00:11:03,759 --> 00:11:06,360
Where's all the toys
and mess and kiddie crap?
213
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,320
I don't know, in their rooms?
214
00:11:08,399 --> 00:11:10,240
What's with all the cushions?
215
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,440
-I like cushions.
-Since fucking when?
216
00:11:12,519 --> 00:11:14,159
You can't get angry at cushions, Liz.
217
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,720
You know, you can't have strong
feelings against something
218
00:11:16,799 --> 00:11:19,080
that's designed to make your
back feel more comfortable.
219
00:11:19,159 --> 00:11:22,360
How is that not broken?
How can Charlie play in here with that?
220
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,600
And what's this shit?
221
00:11:24,679 --> 00:11:25,759
I don't know.
222
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,240
It's potpourri!
223
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,279
There's just bowls of
potp-fucking-rri everywhere.
224
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,399
She's turning our house
into a nursing home.
225
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:33,840
Yeah, well, it's my house.
226
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:39,039
She can't just erase all
evidence of our kids.
227
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:42,200
I want to meet this woman.
You set something up or I...
228
00:11:42,279 --> 00:11:43,320
I swear I'll...
229
00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:51,080
-What's wrong with potpourri?
-I rather like potpourri.
230
00:11:51,159 --> 00:11:54,799
It's not the potpourri, it's the
principle behind the potpourri.
231
00:11:54,879 --> 00:11:57,000
What, you don't agree
with perfumed bark?
232
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,080
No, it...
233
00:11:58,159 --> 00:12:00,559
Look, I don't want my
kids brought up around it.
234
00:12:00,639 --> 00:12:02,639
Oh, there's Anne. Anne! Hi.
235
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,759
Come and sit down.
Oh, there's no chair.
236
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:05,960
I'll get you a stool.
237
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:11,799
I wouldn't write off all potpourri,
there's some lovely blends.
238
00:12:11,879 --> 00:12:13,440
Especially at Christmas.
239
00:12:14,519 --> 00:12:17,039
Oh, there's Amanda. Can we put
a pin in this for a minute?
240
00:12:30,159 --> 00:12:32,159
What's going on with you two?
241
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,360
Oh, I'm just helping Amanda work
through something at the moment.
242
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,039
Since when?
243
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,279
It's private. I can't.
244
00:12:43,639 --> 00:12:46,960
You know what, I need a drink.
Let's go to the pub tonight, get pissed.
245
00:12:47,039 --> 00:12:48,879
Forget about everything for a minute.
246
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,440
Oh, no, you two go ahead.
247
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:53,080
No, I'm burnt out by eight.
Can't make it to Holby City.
248
00:12:53,159 --> 00:12:56,600
-I don't do anything evening-based.
-What, you never go out in the evening?
249
00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:59,240
Oh, yeah, I do, I just don't...
I don't do mum stuff in the evening.
250
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,639
-Mum stuff?!
-No, I just...
251
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,720
Oh, you... You know what I meant.
252
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,039
Anne, hi.
253
00:13:07,799 --> 00:13:09,080
Aw, hi, Anne.
254
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:14,639
Off to meet Liz, then.
Won't be a late one.
255
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:20,679
Hi, Amanda.
256
00:13:21,799 --> 00:13:22,759
Yes, I can talk.
257
00:13:24,759 --> 00:13:27,480
You all right, Amanda?
I can't really make out what you're...
258
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,559
Are you crying or laughing?
I can't...
259
00:13:33,799 --> 00:13:34,879
I'm coming over.
260
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,000
-You can sit down, Kevin.
-No, I'm fine standing.
261
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:43,559
It's like Churchill with the Queen.
262
00:13:43,639 --> 00:13:45,440
You haven't said anything
to Anne, have you?
263
00:13:45,519 --> 00:13:47,120
Oh, no. God, no.
264
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,279
Jesus, no.
265
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,320
OK.
266
00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:52,799
I'm just feeling a bit...
267
00:13:54,879 --> 00:13:56,279
It's just that...
268
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,360
Johnny is on these rampages.
269
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,159
His jealousy,
270
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,159
it just flares up sometimes.
271
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,320
Well, look, I mean...
272
00:14:05,399 --> 00:14:07,039
we all have our little blips.
273
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,240
Ever since this thing with
Bobby he's been like this.
274
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,240
Well, as I said,
275
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:12,559
marriage is a very...
276
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,120
Sorry, who's Bobby?
277
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:20,679
Well, he...
278
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,559
I feel like I can trust you
with this information, Kevin.
279
00:14:24,639 --> 00:14:25,679
Of course.
280
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,000
Johnny wanted to take
control of his jealousy.
281
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:31,720
The thing is he's...
282
00:14:31,799 --> 00:14:33,000
very complicated.
283
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,480
He's horribly jealous,
284
00:14:35,559 --> 00:14:39,080
but at the same time he enjoys
watching me with another man.
285
00:14:39,159 --> 00:14:40,559
Of course.
286
00:14:40,639 --> 00:14:41,919
What?
287
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,919
So... Bobby is someone we
invited into our relationship.
288
00:14:46,639 --> 00:14:47,799
On a monthly basis.
289
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,720
He's a squaddie.
290
00:14:50,799 --> 00:14:52,399
He drives up from Aldershot.
291
00:14:54,919 --> 00:14:56,320
And that's all I know about him.
292
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,440
Aldershot.
293
00:15:03,159 --> 00:15:06,159
My mum lives in Fleet,
which is very near Aldershot.
294
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,919
Tip for that neck of the woods,
295
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,679
there's a great tandoori,
296
00:15:16,759 --> 00:15:18,240
second to naan!
297
00:15:19,399 --> 00:15:21,480
Oh, goodness! It's fine.
It's fine.
298
00:15:21,559 --> 00:15:22,679
-I'm so sorry.
-It's fine.
299
00:15:22,759 --> 00:15:23,840
Don't worry, just leave it.
300
00:15:23,919 --> 00:15:25,720
It's fine... Kevin...
301
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:28,960
You know,
look... Look... Look...
302
00:15:29,039 --> 00:15:31,080
Many couples have...
303
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:33,519
I think.
304
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,000
Who am I? I mean, you look at...
305
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,039
Many marriages...
306
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,559
Many couples...
307
00:15:42,559 --> 00:15:44,000
I mean, the conventional...
308
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,200
I mean... Who hasn't?
309
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:49,720
What is a marriage?
310
00:15:49,799 --> 00:15:51,200
What is normal?
311
00:15:51,279 --> 00:15:52,799
There isn't any...
312
00:15:52,879 --> 00:15:54,200
There isn't any normal...
313
00:15:54,279 --> 00:15:55,200
Oh, my God.
314
00:15:56,799 --> 00:15:58,039
It's Johnny.
315
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,240
Kevin, would you mind just
stepping into the garden?
316
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:03,120
-What? Surely there's no...
-No, it's totally fine, but just...
317
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:05,000
Would you? If you'd just
step into the garden,
318
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,360
it'd be so much easier for me.
319
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,440
-Hey, honey.
-Hey. How come you're back so early?
320
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,279
Really? I do live here, you know!
321
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,679
Is it such a bad thing
for me to come home?
322
00:16:23,759 --> 00:16:26,600
-Johnny, what's wrong?
-Well, I come home,
323
00:16:26,679 --> 00:16:28,879
you're not pleased to see
me, there's no kiss...
324
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,120
-What are you talking about?
-What about normal couples?
325
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,519
I just said how come you're
back so early? That's all I said.
326
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,039
What's wrong with you?
I can't keep doing this...
327
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,440
You can't keep doing this?
You're exhausted?
328
00:16:39,519 --> 00:16:41,200
I'm going outside for a cigarette.
329
00:16:41,279 --> 00:16:42,360
What?
330
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:43,960
I'm having a cigarette.
331
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,120
Johnny, why are you smoking?
332
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,039
I'm smoking, because from the
moment I walk in the door
333
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:53,080
you're busting my balls.
Do we not have a lighter in this house?
334
00:16:53,159 --> 00:16:56,759
-Oh, God!
-15,000 candles, and not one lighter!
335
00:17:36,039 --> 00:17:38,839
-Let me get the first round in.
-No, no, no, let me get them.
336
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:44,000
OK, I'll have a Cava,
and then I'll get the next one.
337
00:17:44,079 --> 00:17:46,519
Oh, well, let's see how we feel.
I mean...
338
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:49,200
we may find that we're fully
quenched after this one.
339
00:17:49,279 --> 00:17:50,839
I'll just get a seat.
340
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,000
Liz!
341
00:17:52,079 --> 00:17:53,759
I thought you didn't
do mum stuff at night.
342
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:55,680
No, this is...
343
00:17:55,759 --> 00:17:58,559
This is strictly carpool business.
344
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,079
Kev!
345
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,200
Over here.
346
00:18:02,759 --> 00:18:03,880
I got you a drink.
347
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:04,920
OK.
348
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,799
-Yes, please, another.
-Are you all right, Kevin?
349
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,480
What happened to your jeans?
350
00:18:25,799 --> 00:18:26,960
I was just climbing.
351
00:18:29,079 --> 00:18:30,759
Claire's in the house!
352
00:18:31,839 --> 00:18:33,200
The gang's all here.
353
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:43,960
God, I love Cava.
354
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,440
It's a terrific alternative.
355
00:18:46,519 --> 00:18:48,400
I actually think it's
nicer than champagne.
356
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,359
So do I, I love it.
357
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:53,400
Yeah. I don't like to drink
Cava around my husband though.
358
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,640
He had to cut it out.
359
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,160
He hasn't had a drop since
our son's christening...
360
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,640
which is difficult,
because he really loved Cava.
361
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,720
And his father loved Cava also.
362
00:19:03,799 --> 00:19:08,079
His father would drink two to three
bottles of Cava a day, at his worst.
363
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:09,240
Which was sad,
364
00:19:09,319 --> 00:19:11,920
but it also meant he was very
easy to buy presents for.
365
00:19:20,279 --> 00:19:21,640
-Do you like Cava, Liz?
-No.
366
00:19:34,079 --> 00:19:35,680
-Jesus Christ!
-What's going on?
367
00:19:37,079 --> 00:19:38,759
-Nothing's going on.
-Yes, there is.
368
00:19:38,839 --> 00:19:40,039
What's going on, Kevin?
369
00:19:41,519 --> 00:19:43,960
I'm just dealing with some
very personal stuff right now
370
00:19:44,039 --> 00:19:46,359
that isn't even my personal
stuff, and it's just...
371
00:19:47,599 --> 00:19:49,599
It's too complicated,
Liz, I can't talk about it.
372
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,119
Great, I'll just be ignored
by you and Julia then.
373
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:54,680
I'm in here!
374
00:19:58,599 --> 00:19:59,759
Last orders!
375
00:19:59,839 --> 00:20:02,519
I'd better make a move.
I have had such a fun evening.
376
00:20:02,599 --> 00:20:06,440
-Can we just have a chat about carpool?
-Or back to mine for the after party?
377
00:20:06,519 --> 00:20:08,880
-I'm afraid I can't.
-I can't either.
378
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,039
I can, actually! I'm afraid I can.
379
00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:14,759
-Liz?
-No, thank you!
380
00:20:22,519 --> 00:20:24,240
Right.
381
00:20:32,759 --> 00:20:34,359
Have you found the scooter?
382
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,279
OK, let's get some tunes going.
383
00:20:50,519 --> 00:20:54,599
My husband's got an early shift, OK?
But let's get this after party started.
384
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,880
I can just stay for one, Anne.
Anne, I'm just staying for one!
385
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,960
God, this is my worst nightmare
come true.
386
00:21:01,039 --> 00:21:04,000
I'm surrounded by mums at night.
387
00:21:04,079 --> 00:21:07,759
I could just about handle it
on the school drop, but this...
388
00:21:16,039 --> 00:21:17,440
-Amanda.
-Hi.
389
00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:20,880
I'm sorry, I'm in my dressing gown!
390
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,160
Well, we're on the phone,
so it doesn't really...
391
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,920
Have you got time for a chat?
392
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,400
Well, I'm not a little party at Anne's.
393
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:33,079
-It's a bit...
-What? Anne didn't mention a party.
394
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,400
That's because it's just
a little impromptu after party.
395
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,359
Anne is having an after party?
396
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:40,519
Pate?
397
00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:43,720
I made it myself. It's so simple.
398
00:21:43,799 --> 00:21:47,680
You just whizz up a liver, any old liver,
and then throw in a dash of Tabasco.
399
00:21:49,519 --> 00:21:51,519
Now, where's our Cava?
400
00:21:51,599 --> 00:21:53,519
I think I have a nice one up behind Daddy.
401
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,440
This one, though.
402
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,240
My phone was off,
so I must have missed your call
403
00:22:18,319 --> 00:22:20,160
that you're having a party.
404
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:21,799
Yeah, well, it's an after party.
405
00:22:22,839 --> 00:22:24,480
And the whole deal with an after party
406
00:22:24,559 --> 00:22:26,880
is that you have to have
been at the party before.
407
00:22:28,599 --> 00:22:31,079
But you mustn't have heard
your phone when I called.
408
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,200
Sorry about that, Anne!
409
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:56,599
For fuck's sake!
410
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,240
You left your jacket in my kitchen,
and Johnny found it,
411
00:23:10,319 --> 00:23:12,880
and he has completely lost it.
412
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,160
What?!
413
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,079
How did he know it was my jacket?
414
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,200
Your name is stitched in it, Kevin.
415
00:23:23,519 --> 00:23:24,839
Shit!
416
00:23:26,759 --> 00:23:28,920
Shit, shit, shit!
417
00:23:32,079 --> 00:23:33,319
Shit!
418
00:23:34,519 --> 00:23:36,960
What a great night.
Thanks, Anne.
419
00:23:37,039 --> 00:23:41,880
God, I just really need to
switch off from work and kids
420
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,799
and school, and carpools.
421
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:47,279
Any decision on the carpool?
Would just really help me out.
422
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,359
God, yeah, sorry!
I gave the spot to Claire.
423
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:51,640
What?
424
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,039
Yeah, I gave a spot to Claire,
that's why we were out for a drink.
425
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,279
Oh, right! It's just that's
also why I was out for a drink.
426
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:00,359
Oh, I thought... I mean...
427
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,559
I thought you just wanted
to go out for the fun of it.
428
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,960
Come on, Anne! I was very,
very specifically there
429
00:24:05,039 --> 00:24:07,279
to talk about carpool,
and do you know what's more?
430
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,640
You knew that, Anne, so you've
actually just been stringing me along.
431
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,480
You're a real carpool tease.
432
00:24:14,559 --> 00:24:17,359
Not cool, Anne! Not cool at all.
433
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,559
Cheers, Anne.
434
00:24:24,799 --> 00:24:26,440
-That was rude.
-What?
435
00:24:26,519 --> 00:24:28,880
-I'm not a fan of Anne, but come on.
-Yeah, well, I'm tired.
436
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,480
No, no, you're on the
make the whole time, Julia.
437
00:24:31,559 --> 00:24:34,039
The only reason you're here tonight
is because you wanted something.
438
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,160
-No! Well, yeah...
-Are we even friends?
439
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:38,359
-What?
-Are we friends?
440
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,240
Of course we're friends!
I see you every day.
441
00:24:41,319 --> 00:24:43,559
I see more of you than
I see some of my bridesmaids.
442
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,680
Yeah, but you never ask me
to do anything with you.
443
00:24:45,759 --> 00:24:47,839
-That's not true.
-I'm your day friend, Julia.
444
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:51,720
Not an evening friend. I'm a mum friend.
I'm a convenience.
445
00:24:51,799 --> 00:24:54,519
I asked you to come for a drink
tonight because I needed to talk
446
00:24:54,599 --> 00:24:56,079
with a fucking mate, and instead,
447
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,680
you chose to hang out with
an emotional storm drain.
448
00:25:01,279 --> 00:25:03,000
I'm an emotional storm drain?
449
00:25:03,079 --> 00:25:04,400
-No.
-Shit.
450
00:25:04,799 --> 00:25:08,200
-Does anyone like me?
-Yes. People like you.
451
00:25:08,279 --> 00:25:10,279
I like you. Liz...
452
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:11,720
Amanda likes you.
453
00:25:11,799 --> 00:25:14,920
Amanda doesn't like me.
She doesn't give a flying poo about me.
454
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,519
She just wants people around
her who can kiss her arse.
455
00:25:17,599 --> 00:25:20,119
And I've kissed every square
inch of that flat arse.
456
00:25:22,839 --> 00:25:26,039
Anne, you're drunk,
and you're embarrassing yourself.
457
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,599
If I were you, I'd take myself
to bed and sleep it off.
458
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,880
I may be drunk, but at least I know
how to unclench my flipping bum hole
459
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,279
and have a good time!
460
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:39,960
Did you just push me?
461
00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:42,079
-No.
-How dare you?
462
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,119
-OK, let's not get violent.
-After everything I've done for you.
463
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,960
You started this.
464
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,519
After everything I've done for you!
465
00:25:57,599 --> 00:26:00,160
I was your friend when
no-one was your friend!
466
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,920
Amanda's having threesomes
with a squaddie!
467
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,599
Right, well, I can't top that,
so I'm off.
468
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,519
-Thanks for a great evening, Anne.
-Do you want to share a taxi, or...
35555
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