Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:15,519
-Stop it! Give it! Give it back!
-A total mess.
2
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,519
A total mess! OK, when we get there,
we need to be really quick.
3
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,960
I'm just going to drop you in the
playground, OK?
4
00:00:19,039 --> 00:00:21,280
Really, really quickly, no hugs,
no kisses, nothing.
5
00:00:21,359 --> 00:00:23,280
Baby on board, arsehole!
6
00:00:29,039 --> 00:00:32,799
Why do we even need them? Why do we need
to slow people down? It's ridiculous!
7
00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,759
Go on, you're supposed to do it there,
that's what they're there for.
8
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,759
That's why they plant them.
9
00:00:43,399 --> 00:00:46,439
-Don't do that, don't do that!
-Marie! Hi, at last.
10
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,840
Can you...
No, my hands-free isn't working.
11
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,679
Listen, can you, uh,
can you put me on the phone to...
12
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,000
Can you give Andrew a message for me?
13
00:00:52,079 --> 00:00:54,359
Can you just tell him that I'm
running a bit late?
14
00:00:54,439 --> 00:00:57,320
I've got to drop the kids off at school.
15
00:00:57,399 --> 00:00:59,320
What? My kids, yeah.
16
00:01:00,119 --> 00:01:02,759
A boy and a girl. Listen,
I can't talk now, Marie.
17
00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:03,799
OK, bye.
18
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,599
Give me the Bop It.
Give me the Bop It.
19
00:01:10,719 --> 00:01:12,280
Someone's in a hurry, aren't they?
20
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,200
What is this? What is this?!
21
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:18,200
What?!
22
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:25,680
Come on, there's nothing there.
23
00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,719
There's nothing here, there's no hole,
there's no roadworks,
24
00:01:27,799 --> 00:01:29,280
there's no traffic jam,
there's nothing here.
25
00:01:29,359 --> 00:01:31,879
Why are you here?
Why are you here?!
26
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,239
OK, I'm going to go.
I'm going to go.
27
00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:36,239
Go.
28
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,959
Can you... I'm sorry!
29
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:52,840
Can you move back?
30
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,359
Sorry. I'm so sorry.
Can you go back?
31
00:01:55,439 --> 00:01:58,840
Just reverse! Move! Go back!
32
00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:01,560
Just go back! I'm stuck in again!
33
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,840
Come on, faster!
34
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,199
Come on, quicker!
In we go, in we go.
35
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,639
In, in! Which one is it?
36
00:02:24,719 --> 00:02:25,680
Here.
37
00:02:28,319 --> 00:02:30,319
All right, which is your classroom?
I know it's not that one.
38
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,120
Hello? Hello.
39
00:02:33,199 --> 00:02:36,120
Hello, Ivy. Hello, James.
Sorry, you are?
40
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:39,120
-I'm Julia, I'm their mum.
-Oh, of course.
41
00:02:39,199 --> 00:02:42,120
-Have you got an appointment?
-No. I was just here to...
42
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:47,120
Did you forget it was half-term?
43
00:02:49,599 --> 00:02:50,840
No.
44
00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:53,120
Children are in their school uniforms.
45
00:02:53,199 --> 00:02:56,080
Yeah. That's because
they're going to a...
46
00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:00,479
back to school
disco/children theme party.
47
00:03:02,199 --> 00:03:04,120
Are you here to see Mrs Lawson?
48
00:03:04,199 --> 00:03:06,439
-Who?
-The headmistress.
49
00:03:07,199 --> 00:03:10,400
Yes. Yes, that's why I'm here,
that's what I'd like to do.
50
00:03:10,479 --> 00:03:11,800
OK. OK.
51
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,000
Ivy didn't mention anything
about being bullied.
52
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,280
It's classic victim behaviour.
53
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:21,919
Who's doing this?
54
00:03:25,199 --> 00:03:28,120
-Leo Martin.
-Leo Martin?!
55
00:03:29,759 --> 00:03:32,439
-But you know he's five?
-Yes.
56
00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:38,120
Yes, my understanding is
that he is an evil...
57
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,120
child prodigy type.
58
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,120
Let me speak to Leo's teacher.
59
00:03:44,199 --> 00:03:45,960
-Please do.
-Janet.
60
00:03:46,599 --> 00:03:48,919
Oh, Leo's teacher,
you are Leo's teacher.
61
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,719
-Listen to this. Leo Martin.
-Leo? Has something happened to him?
62
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,319
No, no, he's been bullying little Ivy.
63
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,719
Bullying?
64
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,719
What kind of bullying?
65
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,400
Mind... games.
66
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,120
Overtly condescending,
tapping into her insecurities,
67
00:04:05,199 --> 00:04:07,919
I think he said some things
about her online.
68
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,319
-So, what's going on now?
-I'm calling Leo's mum.
69
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,360
Don't worry, we will get to the
bottom of this.
70
00:04:16,439 --> 00:04:17,680
Go for it.
71
00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:26,160
Do you know what?
I just, I think...
72
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,439
I should just check the facts with Ivy
first, because now I come to think of it,
73
00:04:31,519 --> 00:04:35,879
she can be a little untrustworthy
and manipulative herself.
74
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,720
Thank you so much for this.
75
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,040
It's like a weight off.
76
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,680
I already feel so much
better about it already.
77
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,000
Thank you. Thank you.
78
00:04:51,319 --> 00:04:54,600
Actually, while I'm here, are there
any clubs on this half-term?
79
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,439
Chess? Latin?
80
00:04:56,519 --> 00:05:00,000
I just don't like them to switch off.
Is there anything happening today?
81
00:05:00,079 --> 00:05:02,360
Like now? Is anything
happening right now?
82
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,720
OK, kids, forget school,
we're not doing school.
83
00:05:10,399 --> 00:05:11,639
Right.
84
00:05:12,319 --> 00:05:13,240
OK.
85
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,680
Two minutes, two minutes,
I'll be back.
86
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:27,680
Mum?
87
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:30,680
Mum?!
88
00:05:30,759 --> 00:05:31,879
Oh, my God!
89
00:05:34,079 --> 00:05:38,160
I can see you. I know you're in
there, hiding behind the sofa.
90
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:39,720
Mother!
91
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,720
-Mother!
-Julia, is that you?
92
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,240
Yes, it's me.
93
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,720
Were you hiding?
94
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,639
No, I was having a lie down.
95
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:56,959
Behind the sofa?
96
00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,360
I had a fall.
97
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,639
Why are you acting like you're 90
years old or something?
98
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:03,920
Oh, right.
99
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:08,079
I see. Yeah, nice, yeah.
They really suit you.
100
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,879
So when did you get back
from your cruise?
101
00:06:10,959 --> 00:06:12,399
-Yesterday.
-Oh, that's funny.
102
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,000
Because Paul saw you in Waitrose
on Saturday.
103
00:06:15,079 --> 00:06:16,920
I must still be on Caribbean time.
104
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,839
You're here now, that's the main
thing. I'll go and get the kids.
105
00:06:19,319 --> 00:06:20,920
-Julia. Julia!
-What?
106
00:06:21,519 --> 00:06:22,839
-We talked about this.
-Talked about what?
107
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,160
I'm not doing it any more, I can't.
108
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,759
I love them to bits, but I can't
look after them any more.
109
00:06:30,439 --> 00:06:32,360
Sorry, I thought that's
what the holiday was for,
110
00:06:32,439 --> 00:06:34,279
-I thought...
-No. No.
111
00:06:35,079 --> 00:06:37,560
In fact, the holiday made me
even more certain.
112
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:39,839
After my lung collapsed...
113
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,560
-It didn't collapse!
-My lung did collapse!
114
00:06:41,639 --> 00:06:45,079
OK, I'm not having this argument again.
If you're really serious about this,
115
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,879
how about we think about starting
that in the new year,
116
00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:53,000
and we can work out a way
of getting you some free time.
117
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:56,519
-No, Julia, from now.
-OK. What about next month...
118
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,720
No, now, Julia.
Starting from now.
119
00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:05,759
OK.
120
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:11,160
-I'm sorry.
-No...
121
00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:14,079
I haven't got time for sorry. Unless
it's "Sorry, I've changed my mind."
122
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,839
-Is it "Sorry, I've changed my mind"?
-No.
123
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:17,720
Right! Haven't got time for sorry.
124
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,600
No, no. Haven't got time for that.
125
00:07:30,519 --> 00:07:32,839
You know, it was your idea to have
grandchildren, Mother!
126
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,120
What about Jelenka?
127
00:07:39,199 --> 00:07:41,680
She's a cleaner,
she's not a baby-sitter!
128
00:07:41,759 --> 00:07:43,920
Anyway,
I really don't trust Jelenka.
129
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,199
I'm almost certain it was her
that ate my Easter egg that time.
130
00:07:46,279 --> 00:07:49,480
-Why don't we have a nanny again?
-What? No, I've told you...
131
00:07:50,439 --> 00:07:53,639
I really want the children to be
brought up the way I was.
132
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,680
-By my mother.
-What can I get you?
133
00:07:55,759 --> 00:07:57,839
Look, I've got to go.
Let's talk more later.
134
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,720
What am I going to do for the rest
of the week? I work too, you know.
135
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,480
Oh, God. There's this
Peter Mandelson thing on Thursday.
136
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:08,959
Yeah, I know, and listen, whatever
you decide, I am right behind you.
137
00:08:09,439 --> 00:08:11,079
-Bye.
-Paul!
138
00:08:12,199 --> 00:08:14,319
Paul! Paul!
139
00:08:14,399 --> 00:08:16,399
Oh, you go ahead,
I haven't decided yet.
140
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:19,560
Thanks. I'll have a
Matcha please, and a...
141
00:08:24,759 --> 00:08:28,120
Charlie, drop it.
You're not getting an iPad.
142
00:08:28,199 --> 00:08:31,680
Santa doesn't do them, the elves
don't have the technology.
143
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,919
I wonder if Amanda knows about
the situation up at Toasty's.
144
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,440
Situation at Toasty's?
What situation at Toasty's?
145
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:43,240
Another breast-feeding incident.
They asked Deirdre to cover up.
146
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,360
I tell you, Liz, if it was men
doing the feeding,
147
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,039
there'd be blokes all over this cafe
with their breasts out.
148
00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:50,720
Yeah.
149
00:08:50,799 --> 00:08:52,679
I'm just going to see if
Amanda heard about it.
150
00:08:52,759 --> 00:08:54,679
-Don't!
-What?
151
00:08:54,759 --> 00:08:57,320
-It's not going to happen, Kevin.
-What's not?
152
00:08:57,399 --> 00:09:00,320
We're not getting on the
big table, they don't want us there.
153
00:09:00,399 --> 00:09:02,320
You're going to have to accept it.
154
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:04,679
I'm just going to have a word.
155
00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:11,840
"Oh, hi, Amanda, just wondering if you
heard about the war on tits at Toasty's?"
156
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:15,440
"Oh, sorry, Kevin, my friends and I
were hoping you'd died."
157
00:09:15,519 --> 00:09:18,679
"OK, great, I'll send round an e-mail
to discuss an appropriate response."
158
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:22,039
"Do whatever you like, my computer shits
all your e-mails to a spam folder."
159
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,240
-"OK then, bye."
-"Bye. Go away forever."
160
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,679
-I'm going to send round an e-mail.
-Yeah.
161
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:49,679
No, no, Duncan, today's out, okay?
Just forget about today.
162
00:09:49,759 --> 00:09:51,320
I'm minding my kids.
163
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,279
Boy and a girl. Five and nine.
164
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:56,559
Look, Duncan,
165
00:09:56,639 --> 00:10:00,279
I don't need to be there to watch Elaine
print out a press release.
166
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,080
I'll definitely be there on Thursday.
167
00:10:02,159 --> 00:10:04,080
I'm working on it, OK?
168
00:10:17,639 --> 00:10:19,200
-We can go swimming.
-Yes.
169
00:10:19,279 --> 00:10:21,559
-That'd be OK.
-And Miguel is watching yours and mine.
170
00:10:21,639 --> 00:10:24,080
-And we're getting the mani-pedi...
-Guys. Guys.
171
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,679
Go play with those kids over there.
172
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,720
No, the other ones!
The other ones.
173
00:10:35,039 --> 00:10:37,679
Yeah, I'd love to see it.
174
00:10:37,759 --> 00:10:39,679
-Bit long. Bit long.
-It was.
175
00:10:39,759 --> 00:10:42,679
-Because you do lose concentration...
-I do, I do.
176
00:10:42,759 --> 00:10:45,000
And Friday, you and I could do yoga...
177
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:48,840
Aw, they're getting on
really well, aren't they?
178
00:10:48,919 --> 00:10:50,840
Sweet.
179
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,919
It's Julia, isn't it?
180
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,519
That's right. And you're...
181
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:02,480
-Could you just say your name?
-Amanda.
182
00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:04,480
That's right.
183
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:08,320
-How do we know each other?
-Our kids are in the same class.
184
00:11:08,399 --> 00:11:11,320
Yes! Yes, yes, that's right, because...
185
00:11:11,399 --> 00:11:13,679
Ivy's always talking about...
186
00:11:13,759 --> 00:11:15,679
Your...
187
00:11:16,639 --> 00:11:18,679
-Manus.
-Manus! Yeah.
188
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,799
Have a seat. Budge up, Anne.
189
00:11:25,279 --> 00:11:28,679
So, where's your mum this morning?
She still on her holiday?
190
00:11:28,759 --> 00:11:32,519
No, no, she's back all right.
191
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:36,000
I just thought I'd give her a break,
so I took the day off.
192
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:40,519
You work so hard.
193
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,679
I really admire how you can just
switch off your family
194
00:11:43,759 --> 00:11:47,440
and focus on your job, because...
this is my personal thing...
195
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,960
I would just hate myself too much.
196
00:11:52,759 --> 00:11:55,519
Yeah, I, I hate myself too much...
197
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:59,320
-No, but I think I'd really hate myself.
-But I have to...
198
00:12:00,759 --> 00:12:03,600
I just love my kids too much.
199
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:06,240
Yeah, I love my kids
too much, too, but I...
200
00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,240
I'd die for my kids.
201
00:12:11,759 --> 00:12:14,600
Yeah... I'd die for my kids.
202
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,320
If I had to, if I had... no choice.
203
00:12:20,759 --> 00:12:23,639
-Melissa's sitting there, sorry.
-Oh, absolutely.
204
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,679
So, Amanda, I'll pop a few ideas
in an e-mail,
205
00:12:27,759 --> 00:12:30,039
what to do about the Toasty's situation.
206
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,159
-OK, Kevin.
-Great. Let me know your thoughts.
207
00:12:34,759 --> 00:12:36,399
You all have my phone number,
don't you?
208
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:39,919
Well, I did put it in my last e-mail,
so everyone should have it.
209
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:44,039
Did everyone get my last e-mail?
210
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:48,080
-It had the subject heading, 'Urgent'.
-Tell Melissa we said hi.
211
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,279
-Slut.
-Kevin?
212
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,399
-No, Liz.
-Oh, right.
213
00:12:56,039 --> 00:12:59,480
Oh, sorry, everyone,
I've got a flat on Airbnb,
214
00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:01,840
and the idiots have locked
themselves out.
215
00:13:01,919 --> 00:13:04,840
Manus, Georgie.
216
00:13:05,279 --> 00:13:06,320
Anne?
217
00:13:06,399 --> 00:13:09,519
Is there any chance you could take
Manus and Georgie back to yours
218
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,200
-while I sort this out?
-Oh, God, I'm sorry.
219
00:13:12,279 --> 00:13:14,679
Chris is at home from work, playing
a computer game with swearing in it,
220
00:13:14,759 --> 00:13:17,679
-so we're staying out the house.
-I'll take them.
221
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:21,399
-I could take them.
-You would?
222
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,559
Are you sure?
223
00:13:24,639 --> 00:13:26,159
Yeah! Yeah, totally sure.
224
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,679
You go, go and do your thing,
it's no problem.
225
00:13:28,759 --> 00:13:30,679
I can take them, it's fine.
226
00:13:30,759 --> 00:13:32,879
That's what we do, isn't it, us mums?
227
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,080
Scratch each other's backs,
so I could take...
228
00:13:35,159 --> 00:13:39,320
I could take them today, and you could,
say, have mine on Thursday, for example.
229
00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:43,000
Well... thank you.
230
00:13:43,759 --> 00:13:45,679
I'll give you my address.
Anne, write it down.
231
00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:48,679
I'm having some mums and kids over
later for spag bol.
232
00:13:48,759 --> 00:13:50,639
You and your lot are included.
233
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,399
So, do you want to bring
them back for that later?
234
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,360
-Say, six?
-Six?!
235
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,679
OK, OK.
236
00:13:56,759 --> 00:13:58,440
-Or four?
-No. Six.
237
00:13:58,519 --> 00:13:59,720
Six it is.
238
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,320
This is very kind of you, Julia.
239
00:14:05,399 --> 00:14:08,200
-I'll get you back another time.
-Yeah, say, Thursday?
240
00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:09,919
Thursday?
241
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,399
I just said I haven't got any money.
242
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,399
Yeah, I will be there, Andrew, I will.
243
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,080
I just have some
childcare issues today, so...
244
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:22,279
A boy and a girl.
245
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,480
Jesus! Five and nine!
Who cares?
246
00:14:26,759 --> 00:14:27,679
Andrew?
247
00:14:36,159 --> 00:14:38,679
Manus, can I have a crisp?
I didn't have any breakfast.
248
00:14:38,759 --> 00:14:40,120
No!
249
00:14:40,519 --> 00:14:43,120
-Can I just have one crisp?
-Stupid horse.
250
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,679
Just sit on it. Just sit on it!
Rock it.
251
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,080
Stick two pennies together.
252
00:14:49,159 --> 00:14:50,200
What?
253
00:14:50,279 --> 00:14:53,000
If you stick two one-pences together,
it thinks it's a pound.
254
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,320
Thanks.
255
00:15:02,759 --> 00:15:03,919
Thanks.
256
00:15:07,759 --> 00:15:08,960
You all right?
257
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:12,600
Yeah, I'm just not really used to
being with my kids like this.
258
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:14,399
Now there's all these other ones.
259
00:15:14,759 --> 00:15:17,679
The one with the plait's just been
really mean to me.
260
00:15:18,759 --> 00:15:22,120
Look, I live just over there. Do you
want to come and have a cup of tea?
261
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,200
I'll just wait for the horse to finish,
cos I just want to get my money's worth.
262
00:15:29,279 --> 00:15:30,399
Sure.
263
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,639
Here we are. Downton Abbey.
264
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,120
Tea?
265
00:15:46,759 --> 00:15:48,679
Yeah. You haven't got
any herbal, have you?
266
00:15:48,759 --> 00:15:52,279
Fennel, ginger, jasmine or mint?
267
00:15:52,879 --> 00:15:54,840
I'll have a mint, please.
268
00:15:54,919 --> 00:15:56,679
I'm joking,
I don't have any herbal tea.
269
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,720
Yorkshire. I've got tea from
Yorkshire, how's that?
270
00:15:59,799 --> 00:16:02,080
-Yeah, OK.
-Hey, guys...
271
00:16:06,639 --> 00:16:07,679
No milk.
272
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:12,240
-So, what about you? Do you work?
-Yes, I organise corporate events.
273
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:13,879
On Thursday,
274
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:18,200
I've got Peter Mandelson presenting
the Women In Construction Awards.
275
00:16:18,279 --> 00:16:20,679
Was it Mandelson who was on
I'm A celebrity?
276
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,159
No.
277
00:16:23,759 --> 00:16:25,679
Don't know who
you're thinking of there.
278
00:16:25,759 --> 00:16:28,639
Wish I could restart my career
by eating worms.
279
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,039
Paul Burrell. That's who it was.
280
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,279
Should they be doing that?
Is that not...
281
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:39,879
No, it's fine.
282
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:41,600
That's why I put the mattress there.
283
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,879
-Do you work?
-I was at Citizens Advice,
284
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:50,360
but one of my calls got recorded for
training purposes, so that was that.
285
00:16:54,159 --> 00:16:56,679
-What time is it now?
-Just past midday.
286
00:16:56,759 --> 00:16:58,679
Fucking hell!
287
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,399
Are you going to this
spag bol thing?
288
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,319
Nah, none of that lot like me.
289
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,480
I'm single, so they're afraid I'm going
to steal one of their fat husbands away.
290
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,559
I'm going to make a pizza
for the kids.
291
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:12,680
Charlie gets a bit punchy
if he hasn't eaten.
292
00:17:12,759 --> 00:17:15,039
All right, let's get these
lunatics rounded up.
293
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,240
Excuse me, we are not animals.
294
00:17:20,319 --> 00:17:22,240
Use a magazine, please.
295
00:17:23,319 --> 00:17:25,279
Actually, Liz, I will have something.
296
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:28,920
I didn't have any breakfast
and I forgot to eat at the cafe.
297
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,640
Oh, shit, sorry,
there's no more pizza.
298
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,680
-Cheese sandwich?
-If it's not a hassle. I am starving.
299
00:17:38,759 --> 00:17:41,680
-You can freeze cheese?
-You can freeze anything.
300
00:17:44,599 --> 00:17:46,279
-Do you want a hand with that?
-No, it's fine.
301
00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:51,000
I just need to hack into it
to carve out some slices.
302
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,200
-Oh, shit.
-What?
303
00:17:55,279 --> 00:17:58,160
Can you call a cab?
I think I need to go to A&E.
304
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,440
-What? Why?
-Cut my finger off.
305
00:18:00,519 --> 00:18:02,319
You cut your finger off?
306
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,400
Don't, don't!
Just keep it together.
307
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,119
-Your finger is off!
-Focus.
308
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,680
Just focus!
309
00:18:09,759 --> 00:18:11,480
An ambulance, yes?
310
00:18:11,559 --> 00:18:13,160
An ambulance.
You need an ambulance.
311
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,599
-Just call a cab.
-OK.
312
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,200
Neil's Taxis...
313
00:18:18,279 --> 00:18:20,039
0207...
314
00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:21,480
...9.
315
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,920
Hi, I need a taxi.
316
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,480
-What's your address?
-29 Minell Street.
317
00:18:26,559 --> 00:18:28,359
29 Minell Street.
318
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,960
They said it's £50 if you
bleed on the seat again.
319
00:18:33,039 --> 00:18:34,559
-That's fine.
-That's fine.
320
00:18:35,559 --> 00:18:36,599
OK.
321
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,079
-Oh, will you be OK?
-Yeah, I think so.
322
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,960
-I'll try and get back as quick as I can.
-Great, just out as quick as you can.
323
00:18:48,039 --> 00:18:49,079
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
324
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,839
Any idea how long these things take?
325
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,599
Liz? Any idea how long
these things take?
326
00:18:57,039 --> 00:19:00,039
Hi, Liz. I was just phoning to see
how you are,
327
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:03,279
and I was just wondering what to do
with your kids.
328
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:06,000
I have to go to this spag bol thing.
329
00:19:06,079 --> 00:19:11,680
I am so hungry
and all your food is frozen.
330
00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:15,680
No pressure,
but it is half-five now.
331
00:19:15,759 --> 00:19:19,359
OK, see if you could
just give me a call. Bye.
332
00:19:25,079 --> 00:19:26,200
I've got it!
333
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:29,880
Keith!
334
00:19:30,279 --> 00:19:32,920
Keith! Keith!
335
00:19:33,599 --> 00:19:35,640
Keith! Keith!
336
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,359
Ah, Keith!
337
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,000
It's Kevin!
338
00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:42,680
Keith! Keith!
339
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,359
-Kevin!
-Wait there, wait there!
340
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:49,960
My God, is she all right?
341
00:19:50,039 --> 00:19:52,680
No, no, she's fine,
she just cut off a bit of her finger.
342
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,960
But listen, I have now got...
343
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:59,160
just a massive amount of children.
344
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,680
Could you help me
with all these children?
345
00:20:01,759 --> 00:20:04,960
-Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course.
-I'm just so hungry, Kevin.
346
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:09,480
Amanda's having a dinner, are you sure?
I haven't heard anything about it.
347
00:20:09,559 --> 00:20:12,000
That's just an informal thing.
It's just a...
348
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,920
It's a spag bol drop-in thing.
349
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,880
What are we waiting for?
350
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,160
Hey, everyone.
351
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,440
We're all going for
spag bol at Amanda's.
352
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,200
Something smells good!
353
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,400
Can somebody else keep
an ear out for the door?
354
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,000
That's not the point,
the point is they're being picky
355
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:48,599
because they know they can be.
Yeah.
356
00:20:49,079 --> 00:20:51,920
Well, we just have to play the same game
that they're playing. Aren't we?
357
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,480
What are you doing?!
358
00:20:54,559 --> 00:20:57,480
Down there! Down there!
359
00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:01,400
Yeah. I don't know.
360
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,079
Mad woman and a load of kids.
361
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:08,039
-Something smells good.
-Oh, hey!
362
00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:10,839
Aw, Julia, thank you so much.
363
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:12,640
Oh, they were as good as gold.
364
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,240
-Hello.
-Kevin's also here.
365
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,960
-Yes.
-A blackboard wall.
366
00:21:21,599 --> 00:21:23,640
I've always wanted a blackboard wall.
367
00:21:24,519 --> 00:21:26,119
What do you write on it?
368
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,440
Just... what's written on it.
369
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:33,640
Walnuts.
370
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,559
-Yeah.
-What are you going to do with walnuts?
371
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,359
I'd love to eat a walnut.
372
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:42,039
Liz cut her finger off, so Kevin's
been helping me with the kids.
373
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,319
-Liz cut her finger off?
-Yeah, just the top half.
374
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:49,279
Well... help yourself to wine...
375
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:52,640
-And we'll probably start serving soon.
-Great.
376
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,839
I've always wanted a look around
your house, Amanda.
377
00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:58,680
There's nothing I like better than
going into other people's houses
378
00:21:58,759 --> 00:22:00,680
and having a good old poke around.
379
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,119
Yeah, yeah.
380
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,519
Those two seem to have
gotten over the Liz thing.
381
00:22:11,599 --> 00:22:14,240
Passed by Monday.
Storm in a teacup.
382
00:22:15,599 --> 00:22:17,960
The Liz thing? What, her finger?
383
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,240
Ian gave Liz a lift home
a few nights ago.
384
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,640
No, sorry, you lost me.
385
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:32,000
So, Ian gave Liz a lift home...
386
00:22:32,079 --> 00:22:33,480
You don't know?
387
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,640
Liz slept with Melissa's husband.
388
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:39,079
Fuck! God, really?
389
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:42,640
I did not know that.
390
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:46,240
You sure? She doesn't seem like
the type who'd be arsed.
391
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:50,640
Where are the kids?
392
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,119
Gone a bit quiet.
393
00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:03,079
Hello.
394
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,319
Just here to pick up my kids.
395
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,079
Hello, hello.
396
00:23:07,559 --> 00:23:12,160
Liz! No, you should stay,
it's turned into a bit of a free-for-all.
397
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,640
So, help yourself
to a glass of wine.
398
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:18,519
Oh, I shouldn't, I'm on painkillers.
399
00:23:18,599 --> 00:23:21,680
Finger... Julia said. How is it?
400
00:23:21,759 --> 00:23:23,920
It's not too bad. Still works.
401
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:47,640
They're not feeding the adults, Liz!
402
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,640
They're not feeding the adults!
403
00:23:54,799 --> 00:23:56,640
None of these dicks like me.
404
00:23:57,319 --> 00:23:58,359
Dicks!
405
00:23:59,839 --> 00:24:02,359
-I'm sure that's not true.
-They hate me.
406
00:24:03,279 --> 00:24:04,519
Dicks!
407
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,359
You know why that is, don't you?
408
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:07,839
-What?
-You know.
409
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,119
-No, I don't know, Kevin. What?
-Well...
410
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,119
Because you slept with
Melissa's husband.
411
00:24:18,519 --> 00:24:21,440
-Is that what they're saying?
-Yeah.
412
00:24:23,279 --> 00:24:24,640
That's interesting.
413
00:24:27,079 --> 00:24:30,480
Yeah, so we went to the hospital on
Wednesday and they had the results
414
00:24:30,559 --> 00:24:34,839
of the scan, and basically they
think it was a small stroke.
415
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,160
-Oh, no.
-Oh, no!
416
00:24:41,039 --> 00:24:43,480
Sorry, I heard "small stroke",
I don't know who that was,
417
00:24:43,559 --> 00:24:46,640
but that is terrible,
whoever that was.
418
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:47,880
My husband.
419
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,960
Yeah. Must've been
a real pain in the arse.
420
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:54,039
How did that happen?
421
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,839
He was playing a computer game,
422
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,880
and I noticed his arm just
dropped down the side of the sofa,
423
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,640
and when I went to take
his hand, it just...
424
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:09,559
it felt like... a little dead bird.
425
00:25:24,559 --> 00:25:27,000
Oh, there's some more.
I'll just put that in the bin.
426
00:25:32,079 --> 00:25:33,279
Julia!
427
00:25:34,839 --> 00:25:36,279
What are you doing?
428
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:39,480
Oh, I was just...
429
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,640
I was just picking up the leftovers.
430
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,640
If you were hungry,
you could've just asked.
431
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:47,640
You're making me feel like
a bad hostess.
432
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,480
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-Do you want me to cook you something?
433
00:25:50,559 --> 00:25:53,640
I can't bear to see you eat out of
the bin like a homeless person.
434
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,640
No, no, I wasn't eating
out of the bin, it's just I...
435
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,000
I was just, you know,
436
00:25:58,079 --> 00:26:00,440
I just thought there would be food
here for the adults.
437
00:26:01,039 --> 00:26:02,640
Oh, God.
438
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,640
Well, Julia, I've been
dealing with something,
439
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,640
and I'm sorry I didn't have time
to lay on a banquet.
440
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:10,880
No, I didn't mean...
441
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,519
Do you want me to cook you
an omelette?
442
00:26:12,599 --> 00:26:14,119
-Honestly, I'm fine...
-No!
443
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,599
I insist. I can't have my guests
eating out of the rubbish.
444
00:26:18,079 --> 00:26:20,119
Does anyone else want food?
445
00:26:20,599 --> 00:26:23,119
Anyone?
I'm making Julia an omelette.
446
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:25,240
Anyone?
447
00:26:26,079 --> 00:26:28,400
I'll have an omelette,
actually, Amanda.
448
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,119
Saves me defrosting some eggs
when I get home.
449
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,640
And while I get the chance, Melissa,
I should say I feel bad.
450
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,839
I feel bad. I should've cleared
the air and apologised
451
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:43,400
for taking your fat husband's
virginity 20 years ago.
452
00:26:45,079 --> 00:26:46,680
And while I'm at it, Anne,
453
00:26:47,079 --> 00:26:49,480
can you RSVP
to Charlie's birthday party,
454
00:26:49,559 --> 00:26:51,319
because he really wants Darius there,
455
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:54,599
and it'll break his fucking heart
if his best friend doesn't make it.
456
00:26:55,079 --> 00:26:56,359
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
457
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,119
-What's going on?
-Amanda's making us an omelette.
458
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,720
Yes, please!
459
00:27:10,759 --> 00:27:13,559
Wow, you must give me
the recipe for that omelette.
460
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:16,480
Eggs.
461
00:27:16,559 --> 00:27:18,720
Yeah. Keep it simple.
462
00:27:19,599 --> 00:27:24,240
So, shall we firm up Thursday...
463
00:27:24,319 --> 00:27:25,799
Thursday's not going to work
for me now.
464
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,799
-Lovely to see you all.
-Oh, I...
465
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,640
Did she just slam the door
in my face?
466
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:39,640
That's a whole network of helpful
mums I have no access to any more.
467
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:43,880
Oh, well. You can't make an omelette
without telling a few skinny bitches
468
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:45,079
to go fuck themselves.
469
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,079
I can have a word with them
if you like, that might help.
470
00:27:49,519 --> 00:27:52,079
Oh, screw them.
We don't need them.
471
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,640
We've got our own
little gang right here.
472
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:56,960
Oh, all right,
I'll take them Thursday.
473
00:27:57,039 --> 00:27:58,720
Thank...
474
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,640
I really appreciate it.
475
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,519
And Friday, can you do Friday?
36521
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof