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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,190 How's he doin'? 2 00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,018 Hundred and four and a half. 3 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,715 - Oh, great. - It's gone up? 4 00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:04,977 A hundred four and a half? 5 00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:06,259 And that's not the worst of it. 6 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:07,806 Uncle Yusef, don't go out tonight. 7 00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:09,690 It's dangerous. They know you stole the melons. 8 00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,810 Poor fella. That fever's got him crazy. 9 00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:13,464 What do you think's causing it? 10 00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,727 Well, he complained of lower right abdominal pain 11 00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:16,728 with a little nausea, 12 00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:18,121 I'd say appendicitis. 13 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,359 If he had some right back pain too. 14 00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:20,515 Maybe it's his kidneys. 15 00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:22,430 Uncle, beware of someone in a hat. 16 00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:24,040 Well, that's always good advice. 17 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,738 Uncle. Listen. The grandmother, she knows. 18 00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:30,133 She read your future in the dust balls under the bed. 19 00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,961 Someday I've got to meet his family. 20 00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:33,223 I got the lab reports. 21 00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,007 What is this? You're all on this case? 22 00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,768 Well, he's our puppy too. What'd you find out? 23 00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:37,967 Ah, his white count is up, 24 00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:39,186 red count is low. 25 00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:40,926 He's got pus in his urine. 26 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:43,035 Gotta be a kidney infection with gram-negative sepsis. 27 00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:44,582 MAN: Sorry, folks. 28 00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,169 This afternoon is temporarily postponed. 29 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,498 Wounded in the compound. 30 00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:50,066 Grandmother, you put a curse on my turnip. 31 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,155 Get some blood cultures, and do an I.V.P. 32 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:54,505 See if there's any obstruction in his urinary tract. 33 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,464 - You will find there isn't. - Oh, says you. 34 00:01:56,507 --> 00:01:58,944 He'd be all right if you hadn't cursed his turnip. 35 00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:05,125 We've got enough casualties here. 36 00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:06,778 What the hell kind of driving was that? 37 00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:08,432 This guy was almost dead when we left. 38 00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,217 They told me every second counts. 39 00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:12,393 Is he all right? Will he be okay? 40 00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:19,400 He just never had a chance. There's too much damage. 41 00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:21,750 - Aw. Damn! - This man can make it, 42 00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,162 but we gotta get him right into O.R. 43 00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:24,186 Corpsman! 44 00:02:25,797 --> 00:02:28,060 Put him down over there by the wall. 45 00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:34,241 Colonel Potter, 46 00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:37,069 I'd like to help in triage, sir. 47 00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:38,941 I'm a little shaky, 48 00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:41,987 but while I have any strength at all, 49 00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:44,076 I'd like to pitch in. 50 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:47,950 Okay! Let's get this patient into pre-op! 51 00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,212 Hubba-hubba! 52 00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,692 - Orderly! - Goldman! 53 00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:53,042 Get him someplace where he won't hurt himself. 54 00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,391 B.J.: Klinger, go lie down. 55 00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:59,309 Get him out of here. He might be infectious. 56 00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:01,442 - It's a kidney problem. - Let's be safe. 57 00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:02,854 Get him over there against the wall. 58 00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:04,551 I need an orderly. Get this guy out of here. 59 00:03:04,575 --> 00:03:06,795 B.J.: These legs are damaged, but not too bad. 60 00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:09,232 Give him something for pain, and he can wait. 61 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:12,453 - Get him out of here. - How is he, Father? Can I help? 62 00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:14,846 There's nothing we can do, Klinger. 63 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,848 Private Weston is dead. 64 00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:17,892 Aw. 65 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,636 A mouse has four paws. 66 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,246 Yes. 67 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:26,293 - But he doesn't wear a belt. - Please. I... 68 00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:27,903 I'm going to administer the last rites. 69 00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:44,006 Hey. 70 00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:46,443 Hey. 71 00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,619 Hey! 72 00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,708 Are you sure I'm dead? 73 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:53,320 'Cause I don't feel dead. 74 00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,409 Hey. You gotta talk to him, will ya? 75 00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:57,193 I don't think I'm dead. 76 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,282 I mean it! 77 00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:02,024 Look at him. He... He's gonna give me last rites. 78 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:04,027 They're gonna put me in a bag, stick me in a truck, 79 00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,419 and that's gonna be it. 80 00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:06,855 And I do not feel dead. 81 00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,683 Can't you do somethin' about it? 82 00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:10,206 What can I do? 83 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,296 Dead is dead, right? Right, Father? 84 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,993 Just give me a minute now, Klinger. 85 00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:16,517 I have to concentrate. 86 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,694 Am I dead or what? I don't want to die. 87 00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:22,305 Who wants to die? I don't want to die. 88 00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:25,352 You're not going to die. Now please. 89 00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:27,832 I didn't bring the subject up. Weston did. 90 00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:31,314 - Weston is dead. - Don't tell me. Tell him. 91 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,622 Wait. Wait a minute. 92 00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:36,537 Wait a second. Will you use your own hook? 93 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,278 I got no place to hang my clothes. 94 00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:40,541 First of all, this is my hook. 95 00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:43,761 Secondly, it is not a hook. It is a nail. 96 00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:46,503 Thirdly, your shirt could stand up by itself. 97 00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:47,722 I've been using that hook 98 00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,811 since long before you got here, bub. 99 00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:51,465 You may have used it, 100 00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:54,598 you may indeed have some unnatural attachment to it, 101 00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:57,340 but the fact remains that is my hook. 102 00:04:57,384 --> 00:05:00,561 See? My name. My hook. And this is a nail. 103 00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:04,347 Why don't you hang your stuff down here somewhere? Okay? 104 00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:06,262 I do not want my name down there. 105 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,090 I want it here. 106 00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:09,744 What difference does it make? 107 00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:12,224 Because the boards at that end of the bench 108 00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:14,096 are uneven and they pinch my bottom. 109 00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:15,750 Does that satisfy your morbid curiosity? 110 00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:18,100 Okay, okay, that does it. That's fine. 111 00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,928 Fine. I'm giving you a new hook. 112 00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:22,583 Nail! This is a nail! 113 00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:25,499 - It's not a hook. - Go pinch your bottom. 114 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,457 Rave on, Macduff. 115 00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:29,372 Rave on. 116 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,766 Sir, am I dead? 117 00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:34,856 Hammer away, you pathetic fool. 118 00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:37,511 Look. Really. I don't feel dead. 119 00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,295 There's just gotta be a mistake. 120 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,558 Although I must say, for my taste, 121 00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:44,474 the entertainment value of fools is vastly overrat... 122 00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,911 What have you done to my shirt? 123 00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:48,260 You're right, it is a nail. 124 00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:50,132 My shirt! You imbecile! 125 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,829 You sub-moronic cretinous idiot! 126 00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:54,179 Hey. Fellas. 127 00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:57,269 No, no, no! Ow! God! 128 00:05:57,313 --> 00:06:00,621 No, no! No, no! These are folded wrong! 129 00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:03,580 I should be able to pick it up with two fingers and pop it open. 130 00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:05,495 These'll take three, maybe four fingers. 131 00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:07,976 Margaret, would you mind ranting someplace else? 132 00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:09,475 I've got a big dramatic scene coming up in O.R., 133 00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:10,892 and I want to get in the mood. 134 00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:12,633 And I'd like to do some nursing. 135 00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,678 Next time, see that they're folded properly. 136 00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:17,246 Look at this! Look at this! Seven fingers! 137 00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:20,118 When my company commander strapped me onto the jeep, 138 00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:22,077 he... he said that I would be all right. 139 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,253 And he never lies to us. 140 00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:26,298 You're pretty particular about the way 141 00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:27,972 you're handed the instruments in O.R., though, aren't you? 142 00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:29,780 Let's just drop it. Okay? 143 00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:31,565 He never lies. And we respect him for that. 144 00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:33,697 And I've watched you in the mess tent too. 145 00:06:33,741 --> 00:06:35,220 You have a special fork. 146 00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:36,700 - I have a what? - A special fork. 147 00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:38,441 I've seen you pick through all the forks, 148 00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:40,530 looking for one with long, thin tines. 149 00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:43,011 I've seen you keep 15 people waiting on line, 150 00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:45,100 looking for your special stupid fork! 151 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:48,669 It so happens I can't pick up food with a blunt instrument. 152 00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:50,105 Two fingers. 153 00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:55,110 You know, I was in a lot of pain before. 154 00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:56,807 I couldn't even turn my head. 155 00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:58,461 But look at me. 156 00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,463 I'm walkin' around. I'm talkin'. 157 00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:05,773 I think there's been a mistake. 158 00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:07,427 -POTTER: Almost done here. 159 00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:10,865 Rake retractor. 160 00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:12,170 Rake retractor. 161 00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:14,956 Oh, I like that. Long thin tines. 162 00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,065 HAWKEYE: Where's all that blood coming from? 163 00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,351 You better run the bowel again. 164 00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:20,875 I might have missed something. 165 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,461 CHARLES: Right. Colonel, as soon as you're free, 166 00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:23,660 we need you over here. 167 00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:26,446 POTTER: On my way. 168 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,448 Hicks. 169 00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:30,972 Hicks, what... What happened to you? 170 00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,496 Last time I saw you, 171 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,629 you were making jokes about your C-rations. 172 00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:37,457 You were sitting on that log 173 00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:38,806 and laughing like a hyena. 174 00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:40,285 Okay. I'm free. 175 00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:43,245 Now, what can I do to help you folks? 176 00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:44,681 Help me clamp off these bleeders. 177 00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,248 It was a mortar shell, wasn't it? 178 00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:48,642 There. Another perforation. 179 00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:50,184 They're hard to find, but they're there. 180 00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,490 I must have run the bowel too fast. 181 00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:52,907 I was worried about the chest. 182 00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:56,258 - Don't worry. I got it. - Go get 'em, doc. 183 00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:59,391 Listen to me, Hicks. You got four people workin' on you. 184 00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:00,828 You know what they're doing? 185 00:08:00,871 --> 00:08:02,743 They're looking for those C-rations you ate. 186 00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:06,268 Now, how many times did I tell you not to eat that stuff? 187 00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:08,183 One wallet, brown. 188 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:12,143 One wallet, brown. 189 00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:14,537 - Any money in it? - Yeah. Wait a sec. 190 00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:17,453 My mother gave me that wallet before I went away. 191 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,194 It's genuine calfskin. 192 00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,458 It used to be stamped in gold there, 193 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,592 but with all the heat and sweat 194 00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:28,290 and everything, the letters just wore off. 195 00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:31,336 It smelled great the day I got it. 196 00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:33,469 I love the smell of leather. 197 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,079 23.60. 198 00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:36,603 23.60. 199 00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:41,433 One picture. 200 00:08:41,477 --> 00:08:44,219 Look at that sweet fresh face. 201 00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:47,004 One picture. 202 00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:49,833 That's Sarah Lee Pinter. 203 00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:52,749 I can still taste her kiss from when we said good-bye. 204 00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:55,143 Did you have sweethearts when you were in school, Father? 205 00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:58,059 Yes, I did, actually. In fact, when I was 12, 206 00:08:58,102 --> 00:09:00,104 I was a champion at spin the bottle. 207 00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,323 Oh! 208 00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,194 No matter where Patricia Dugan sat, 209 00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:06,328 I could always put just the right English on that bottle 210 00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:07,938 to make it point right to her. 211 00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:11,289 -She has six children now. 212 00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:15,163 I wonder if I put ideas into her head when she was 12. 213 00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,731 I remember school so well. 214 00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:22,126 It's only 200 years ago. 215 00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:25,216 - One ring. - One ring. 216 00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,001 Boy, that brings back a lot of memories. 217 00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:28,611 That's my high school ring. 218 00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,657 I never take it off. 219 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:34,051 What's it doing in that box? 220 00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,273 Weston. 221 00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:45,889 What do you say I buy you a beer, Father? 222 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,804 Yes. 223 00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:49,719 I think so. Thank you. 224 00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:55,856 -My God. 225 00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,293 I think I'm dead. 226 00:09:58,336 --> 00:09:59,947 I'm not here! I'm someplace else! 227 00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,296 - Easy. - I'm not here! 228 00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:02,360 - I can't find my fingers! - Shh! 229 00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:03,777 My hands are coming off! 230 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,343 - I can't find my fingers! - All right. 231 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,827 We've gotta get his temperature down. 232 00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:15,092 Excuse me. There are people in here recovering from surgery. 233 00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:16,461 How do we know he won't infect them? 234 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,356 Relax. Here's his ticket of admission. 235 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:19,662 - What is that? - Kidney stone. 236 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,229 Passed it about an hour ago. 237 00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:23,013 His blood culture shows gram-negative rods. 238 00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:25,252 He's not contagious. And I want him here with the nurses. 239 00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:27,931 - Quite a stone. - Practically Mount Rushmore. 240 00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:31,282 It's got the faces of three Lebanese presidents on it. 241 00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:32,806 Here we go. All right, Klinger. 242 00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:34,111 - We're home. - Hmm? 243 00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:36,461 - Here we go. Up. - Oh. Hi, Captain. 244 00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:38,420 - Hi. - I'm glad to see you. 245 00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:40,074 I'm glad to be seen by you. 246 00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:42,380 - How you doin'? - Oh, great. Wonderful. 247 00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:44,861 - What are you doing in Miami? - Wonderful. 248 00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,994 Some weather down here, huh? 249 00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:48,865 I'm glad I brought my trunks. 250 00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:51,389 Start him on streptomycin. One gram every 12 hours. 251 00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:53,130 Push the fluids, and keep him off the beach. 252 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,703 How you feeling, son? 253 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,444 Hurts like hell, sir. 254 00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:03,837 Well, that's understandable, 255 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,360 considering the number of people 256 00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:07,057 who waltzed through your insides. 257 00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:11,018 Sir, is Weston okay? 258 00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:13,300 Weston. I'd have to check our records. I didn't work on him. 259 00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:15,544 Colonel. 260 00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:17,677 Was he the boy you worked on, Father? 261 00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:25,119 I'm sorry, son. He didn't make it. 262 00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:30,515 I thought he would. 263 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:33,693 I was sure he would. 264 00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:36,739 I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have told you, 265 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,063 but I think it's only worse later 266 00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,437 if you don't hear the truth. 267 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:41,135 Oh, God. 268 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:46,793 Do you know how young he was? 269 00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,449 How can that happen? 270 00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:52,886 I know it's hard, son, 271 00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,931 but don't let it get you down. 272 00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:56,977 You need all your strength right now. 273 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,675 You know how many bad guys there are in the world? 274 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:03,157 Guys who just wanna get drunk and fight. 275 00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:07,509 I seen a guy steal a watch off a dead man. 276 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,774 And Weston's the one to go. 277 00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,863 Why, then, do the wicked live? 278 00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:15,386 Why are they advanced 279 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,040 and strengthened with riches? 280 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,999 Pardon me, Father? 281 00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,740 That was Job's question to God. 282 00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,350 How can the wicked flourish 283 00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,047 when the good are allowed to die? 284 00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:25,614 And do you know what the answer was? 285 00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:27,442 No. 286 00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:29,574 God spoke to Job out of a whirlwind, 287 00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,968 and He said, "Where wast thou 288 00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:33,796 "when I laid the foundations of the Earth? 289 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:37,191 Did you create the whales or the wild goats?" 290 00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,412 The answer is in the vastness 291 00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:42,674 and grandeur of the universe, 292 00:12:42,718 --> 00:12:44,024 not in bitterness. 293 00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:46,417 It's too easy to despair, Frank. 294 00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:48,376 I'm sorry, Father. 295 00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:53,816 I know I shouldn't feel this way. 296 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,949 I just don't think there's any point to it all 297 00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:58,125 if they can take a guy like Weston. 298 00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:02,259 Look. I'm gone. Okay? Just let me go. 299 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:05,480 Don't waste your strength. 300 00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:08,396 - I can't believe he's dead. - Hicks. 301 00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:12,095 It's over. Use your sense of humor. 302 00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:14,924 Talk about what a jerk I was sometimes. 303 00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,317 Laugh at me. 304 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,319 I can't believe it. 305 00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:21,801 What the hell's the matter with this guy? 306 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,760 I mean, he's tearing himself apart. 307 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,197 Well, look. What do you expect? 308 00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:29,939 How would you feel if you lost your best friend? 309 00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,419 Klinger, hush. 310 00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:33,551 One second, Colonel. 311 00:13:33,595 --> 00:13:36,293 Look, Weston. Be reasonable. 312 00:13:36,337 --> 00:13:38,295 I don't know how you feel being dead, 313 00:13:38,339 --> 00:13:41,385 but it scares the daylights out of the rest of us. 314 00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:46,826 Klinger, I'm gonna talk to you like a father. 315 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:49,045 Shut your trap. 316 00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:51,961 Colonel Potter, hi. 317 00:13:52,005 --> 00:13:54,877 Listen. I'm very thirsty. Could I have a glass of water? 318 00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,184 Yeah. Sure. I'll get you one. 319 00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:02,624 One last thought, Frank, and then I'll let you rest. 320 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:05,932 Would Weston have given up if you had died? 321 00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:16,856 WESTON: Okay. I know I'm dead. 322 00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:18,422 I didn't think I was at first, 323 00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:20,337 but now I know I am. 324 00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:22,470 And I'll tell you something. It's not that bad. 325 00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:26,256 But I'm worried about my folks. 326 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,258 And I'd really appreciate it 327 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:31,000 if you'd just let 'em know that it's all right. 328 00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:35,135 You hear what I'm sayin'? 329 00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:36,963 It's not that bad. 330 00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:41,358 Look. If you could just, 331 00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:43,534 you know, send 'em a little note. 332 00:14:48,757 --> 00:14:50,106 Aw, geez. 333 00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:56,765 Klinger has been on antibiotics for eight hours. 334 00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:58,177 Not only has his temperature not gone down, 335 00:14:58,201 --> 00:14:59,594 it's gone up a degree? 336 00:14:59,637 --> 00:15:01,311 It takes time to break. He'll be all right. 337 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,119 All right? The man's burning to a crisp. 338 00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,642 Okay. Just to be sure, 339 00:15:04,686 --> 00:15:05,992 we'll start him on sulfadiazine. 340 00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:07,491 Instead of looking for another medication, 341 00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:09,101 you ought to be looking for another cause. 342 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,711 I think we should bring his body temperature down, 343 00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,781 - no matter what. - Excuse me. Moment. 344 00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:15,218 My point is that your diagnosis may be correct, 345 00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:16,872 - but then again, so may mine. - Oh. 346 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,439 Doctors, if I may, 347 00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:19,938 I don't think it's important what caused this. 348 00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:21,485 - I think that what... - Just a moment. 349 00:15:21,529 --> 00:15:23,487 Let's give the antibiotics time to work. 350 00:15:23,531 --> 00:15:25,552 In the meantime, we could bring his body temperature down... 351 00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:27,554 Time to work? The man is frying like a piece of bacon. 352 00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:28,971 By the time the medication works, 353 00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:30,557 they're gonna be serving him in the mess tent 354 00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:32,037 - as a club sandwich. - I'm trying to say... 355 00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:34,324 Why don't you boys run a few more tests? 356 00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:36,413 Cold packs is what I'm trying to talk about. 357 00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:37,588 Wait. What's the discussion? 358 00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:38,783 I thought he passed a kidney stone. 359 00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:40,002 He did. His temperature went up. 360 00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,679 I think we ought to run another culture. 361 00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:43,092 - That's what I think. - That's because you both 362 00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:44,204 have stones in your brains. 363 00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:46,380 -Oh, that makes sense. 364 00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:53,387 -Excuse me. One minute. 365 00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:07,488 Stupid... 366 00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:09,533 insensitive jackasses! 367 00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:15,583 I'm trying to do something practical, 368 00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:18,281 and all they can do is stand around 369 00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:19,456 and argue with each other 370 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,110 as if I don't exist. 371 00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,112 They didn't hear a word I said. 372 00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,723 I know how you feel. 373 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,812 What am I doing here if I can't help? 374 00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:30,032 What am I putting up with the rats for? 375 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:33,296 The lice? The dysentery? 376 00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:36,256 I used to wonder what I'd miss the most when I was dead. 377 00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:40,608 Runnin' down a basketball court. 378 00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:43,785 Makin' out with girls. 379 00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:45,700 Or even smelling the honeysuckle 380 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,702 that grows over our mailbox. 381 00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:50,835 I never guessed it would be just... 382 00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:54,839 having somebody understand what it is you're saying. 383 00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,972 There's only one guy in this place who hears me, 384 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,582 and nobody listens to him. 385 00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:01,194 I'm not putting up with this. 386 00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:04,893 Maybe there are just some things 387 00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,155 you can't do anything about. 388 00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:08,070 Maybe that's what being dead is. 389 00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:11,726 I'm gonna keep on talking until somebody listens. 390 00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,684 And if I have to, 391 00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:16,687 I'll kick a few cans in there. 392 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,559 Go get 'em, slugger. 393 00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:25,740 "Yours very sincerely... 394 00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:28,047 Franklin Hicks." 395 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,526 It's not too lighthearted, is it? 396 00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:30,919 I think it's fine. 397 00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:33,008 - You want to hear it back? - Yeah. Okay. 398 00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:36,533 "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Weston, 399 00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:39,232 "I'm Franklin Hicks that Jimmy has written you about. 400 00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:42,191 "I feel I know you from Jimmy's description of you, 401 00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:44,367 "so that's why I'm writing you this letter, 402 00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:46,195 "although I wish I didn't have to. 403 00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:49,807 "Yesterday Jimmy and I were both wounded very badly. 404 00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:52,114 "The medics got there right away, 405 00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,985 "and they did everything they could for Jimmy, 406 00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:56,553 "but I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Weston, 407 00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:58,686 they just couldn't save him." 408 00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:00,142 Maybe I could have said that part better. 409 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,950 I've written a lot of these letters, son. 410 00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:03,908 There's no good way to say it. 411 00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:06,563 "But I want you to know it was very sudden, 412 00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:08,130 "and he felt no pain. 413 00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:11,133 "It's very difficult to write you about this, 414 00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:14,136 "but I had to because of how much Jimmy loved you. 415 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,269 "and how much I loved Jimmy. 416 00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,749 "He used to read the comic page to me 417 00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:21,578 "and make up funny voices for all the characters. 418 00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:24,494 "After a while it would have us both in stitches. 419 00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:26,583 "And then when we'd be on patrol, 420 00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:28,803 "and he'd see I was getting scared, 421 00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:31,110 "he'd start talking in one of those voices, 422 00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:33,547 "and it would really lift our spirits. 423 00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:37,072 "I think that's one of the greatest gifts anyone could have. 424 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,857 "I know how terrible this must be for you, 425 00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,163 "but I want you to know 426 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:43,122 "that you have my deepest sympathies. 427 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,298 Yours very sincerely, Franklin Hicks." 428 00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,778 I hope I'm doing the right thing sending them this. 429 00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:50,346 I think it's one hell of a good letter, 430 00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:52,000 and it's very decent of you to do this. 431 00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:55,153 I'll get this out first thing in the morning. 432 00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,918 You have a good night's sleep, Hicks. 433 00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:59,399 Thank you, sir. Father? 434 00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:02,184 Thanks for what you said. 435 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,143 Well, it was mostly from the Bible. 436 00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:05,883 I have a good writer. 437 00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:08,234 -What's his temperature? 438 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:10,540 - 101. It's coming down. - Oh, thank God. 439 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:12,063 I was getting worried about him. 440 00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:14,283 Well, those ice packs were just the trick. 441 00:19:14,327 --> 00:19:16,503 - Thank you, Colonel. - You know, our problem was 442 00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,722 we were so busy arguing about what caused it, 443 00:19:18,766 --> 00:19:20,724 we never got around to the obvious solution. 444 00:19:20,768 --> 00:19:22,204 Yes. I saw that. 445 00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:23,727 Well, why didn't you say something? 446 00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:28,036 Why did I... Did... Are you... Did you... 447 00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:29,646 All right. What else do we love? 448 00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:30,734 Do you love dirt? 449 00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:31,822 Dirt is my life. 450 00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,433 All right. To dirt. 451 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:36,131 And to the army that lets us eat it, drink it, 452 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,177 breathe it, and salute it. 453 00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:43,530 Now what? 454 00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:44,879 Rats are nice. 455 00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:46,533 Some of my best friends. 456 00:19:46,576 --> 00:19:48,926 And not just to their cute little bucktooth grins 457 00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:51,102 and pointy little ears... 458 00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:53,409 but to their charming little fleas, 459 00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:55,890 without whom we would not live in the shadow of the plague. 460 00:19:55,933 --> 00:19:59,415 Ah! The plague. I will drink to that. 461 00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:02,331 Are you gentlemen aware of what historically 462 00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:03,941 caused the great plagues of Europe? 463 00:20:03,985 --> 00:20:05,310 Are you historically aware of that? 464 00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,249 Not historically. No. 465 00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:08,816 - War. - Oh. Really? 466 00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:11,906 See, one city would attack another, 467 00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:14,038 -and they'd burn their buildings. -Mm-hmm. 468 00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:15,779 And the rats would scurry. 469 00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:17,868 - Cute little guys. - Spr...... 470 00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:20,088 Spreading their plague-bearing fleas 471 00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:21,698 throughout the population. 472 00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:23,657 To war, 473 00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,876 the fountain of all loveliness. 474 00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:33,188 -What do you think? 475 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,190 - I don't know. Try me out. - Clamp. 476 00:20:43,633 --> 00:20:45,244 Nah. I can still feel it. 477 00:20:49,117 --> 00:20:51,337 Me too. 478 00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,469 I'm having trouble seeing you. 479 00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:56,646 You all look funny, 480 00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:59,258 like you're made up of little dots. 481 00:21:00,607 --> 00:21:03,131 Something's happening to me. 482 00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:04,872 I don't understand it. 483 00:21:04,915 --> 00:21:06,830 To shrapnel 484 00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:09,833 and the skittish little dance it does inside their bodies. 485 00:21:09,877 --> 00:21:11,748 To the blood that drips into our boots. 486 00:21:11,792 --> 00:21:15,317 And stains our socks with gay magenta polka dots. 487 00:21:15,361 --> 00:21:19,365 I can hardly hear you now. You're all fading. 488 00:21:19,408 --> 00:21:21,323 - To butchery. - Mayhem. 489 00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:23,891 Bestiality of every shape and kind. 490 00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:25,371 I feel like I've... 491 00:21:25,414 --> 00:21:28,461 I have to go someplace, 492 00:21:28,504 --> 00:21:30,201 but I don't know where it is. 493 00:21:30,245 --> 00:21:32,595 Gentlemen, 494 00:21:32,639 --> 00:21:35,032 I'm going to my bunk to lie down. 495 00:21:38,122 --> 00:21:39,646 But first... 496 00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:44,085 - To Charles. - To Charles. 497 00:21:44,128 --> 00:21:45,280 WOMAN'S VOICE: I can't believe it. 498 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,566 We had chicken again. 499 00:21:46,609 --> 00:21:48,263 I'm getting to hate chicken. 500 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,762 WOMAN #2: I broke a fingernail again today. 501 00:21:49,786 --> 00:21:51,614 Just makes me crazy when I do that. 502 00:21:51,658 --> 00:21:53,288 MAN'S VOICE: No, no. It's not a police action. 503 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,357 It's a struggle between the free world and... 504 00:21:55,401 --> 00:21:57,707 MAN #2: Ah, forget it. The Giants are nowhere. 505 00:21:57,751 --> 00:21:59,883 They got no hitters, no pitchers. Nothing. 506 00:21:59,927 --> 00:22:01,668 MAN #3: I don't love her anymore. 507 00:22:01,711 --> 00:22:03,365 It's all over between us. 508 00:22:03,409 --> 00:22:05,106 MAN: Hey. Over here. 509 00:22:06,673 --> 00:22:08,805 Hey. Come on. It's this way. 510 00:22:08,849 --> 00:22:10,633 Where do we go? 511 00:22:10,677 --> 00:22:11,721 Down there. Come on. 512 00:22:20,730 --> 00:22:22,341 What did you think it would be like? 513 00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:23,603 I didn't know. 514 00:22:26,997 --> 00:22:29,696 - Where are we goin'? - I don't know. 515 00:22:46,452 --> 00:22:49,411 - Hiya, Major. - Klinger! 516 00:22:49,455 --> 00:22:51,282 Oh, great! 517 00:22:51,326 --> 00:22:53,459 - How are you feeling? - I'm hungry. 518 00:22:53,502 --> 00:22:55,286 - That's a good sign. - Hey, kiddo. 519 00:22:55,330 --> 00:22:57,071 We kept your room just the way you left it. 520 00:22:57,114 --> 00:22:58,178 Pierce, who's on call tonight? 521 00:22:58,202 --> 00:22:59,465 B.J.'s on tonight. 522 00:22:59,508 --> 00:23:01,162 Uh-uh. Oh, no, no. 523 00:23:01,205 --> 00:23:03,164 I was on call last night and the night before. 524 00:23:03,207 --> 00:23:04,644 Hey! Look who's back. 525 00:23:04,687 --> 00:23:06,143 - How you doin', Klinger? - Hi, Captain. 526 00:23:06,167 --> 00:23:08,822 Listen. What happened to Weston? 527 00:23:08,865 --> 00:23:10,650 - Who? - Wait. I have to know. 528 00:23:10,693 --> 00:23:12,062 - Who's on call tonight? - I told you. B.J. 529 00:23:12,086 --> 00:23:13,522 I've been on two nights in a row. 530 00:23:13,566 --> 00:23:14,741 Look... 531 00:23:14,784 --> 00:23:17,134 Captain, what happened to him? 532 00:23:17,178 --> 00:23:19,528 Did he get what he wanted? Is he all right? 533 00:23:19,572 --> 00:23:21,182 - Who? - What are you talking about? 534 00:23:21,225 --> 00:23:22,836 Weston! Are his folks okay? 535 00:23:22,879 --> 00:23:25,012 Where is he? Is he gone? 536 00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:27,536 Klinger, please. We've got more important things to worry about. 537 00:23:27,580 --> 00:23:29,059 I have to know. 538 00:23:29,103 --> 00:23:30,800 HAWKEYE: I'm telling you. B.J. is on. 39207

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