All language subtitles for MASH (1972) - S04E23 - Deluge (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 ImE)_track3_[eng]

ANNOUNCER:
Here he is at
Plymouth, England,

with this to say about
our G.I.s in Korea.

Now, I have not the knowledge
to enable me to predict

how this Korean
fighting will end.

But-- But let me here
express our admiration

for the daring
and skill

with which the handful
of American soldiers,

three or four
battalions at most,

who-- who have as yet been
brought into action in Korea,

have fought their
delaying action

against overwhelming odds.

I really wasn't
expecting more wounded!

Uh, General MacArthur
said the fighting

would be over
by Christmas.

Yeah, but he didn't
say what year.

Actually, he was
referring to the fighting

between himself
and Mrs. MacArthur.

She's got an entirely
different idea

on how the war
should be run.

This is not a war,
it's a police action.

If it's a police action,
why didn't they send cops?

ANNOUNCER:
A night rendezvous
inside Wonsan Harbor

with a stubborn
Communist fort.

A spectacular display
of rocket firepower.

Look, Colonel, a hospital's
got to know what to expect.

If there's a push on,
give me some warning.

We're both in the
same war, you know?

I'm not over here because
I'm such a fan of diarrhea.

Now if you hear any--
Hello? Colonel?

Colonel?

Creeps.

-Who, sir?
-Colonels.

You can't trust
any of 'em.

They're just this far
from making general.

They can taste
those stars.

They'll do anything
to get 'em.

Never mind if they
don't deserve 'em,

if they don't know their
brass from their elbows.

Captains and majors are okay.
They're too far away.

They don't have
to make points.

And generals usually relax
once they've made it.

Although, I had one
in the cavalry,

ordered all horses corked
before parades.

Is that a beak?

Uh, chicken, sir.
It's sort of a beak stew.

-That's surplus.
-Yes, sir.

Take it away.
I sent this dinner back
in World War II.

MAN :
Ambulance to
the upper helipad.

Ambulance to the pad.

Incoming wounded.
South Korean infantry.

South Koreans
are getting younger.

POTTER:
Complain to Syngman Rhee.

♪ Ah sweet
Syngman Rhee of life ♪

♪ At last I found you ♪

Can the balloon
juice, Pierce!

Close.

Bad belly wound.
Got an arterial pumper.

-Need some help?
-You bet.

Get me some gloves.

Lap sponge.

Clamp.

I'll try to expose
the bleeder.

You know, I've been around
overseas at different times,

visiting our boys.

They're a swell lot
doing a wonderful job

to protect us
here at home.

Many of them get wounded

or suffer from
loss of blood, shock.

And blood or blood plasma
given in the field

means life itself.

Yes, just that.

Please, don't let
those Army, Navy,

Airmen and Marines down.

Have a heart.
Give some blood.

Ah. Ah!

Father,
irrigate his eye.

B.J., you okay?

-POTTER: I've got it, B.J.
-B.J.: Okay.

Talk about
your bloodshot eyes.

HAWKEYE: Retract that.

Excellent.
A page one retraction.

Ahh. Ahh,
it's better. Thanks.

You're pretty good
with your hands, kid.

Can you get me
a tracheotomy
at the Garden?

Uh, let's try
a couple of hernias
out of town first.

Get all their
personal possessions,
Corporal.

Make sure they
get a receipt

and file copies of your
copy in triplicate.

Major, I done
this a hundred times.

I write to my mother
in triplicate.

I got triplicate
on the brain.

Somebody wants
change for a ten,

I give 'em
three fives.

-Get moving.
-Yes, ma'am,
times three.

Hey, Major, I already
gave my things.

-What?
-My personal effects, right?

-Yes.
-I already gave 'em
to some guy outside.

Tsk! You've been
robbed, soldier.

A wounded soldier robbed,
in the middle of a war.

I don't know what's
happening to this army.

Me either.
That does it for me.

One more week,
and I'm through!

ANNOUNCER:
At Laramie, the chief
executive speaks

to the students at the
University of Wyoming.

It's a fatherly talk.

I hope you will all
make the most

of your opportunities here,

to fit yourselves
to be good citizens
of the United States,

the greatest republic
the world has ever seen.

SOLDIER:
Hey, Father,
you got a second?

Are you all right?

That's my problem.

I'm all right.
Least the doctor said I was.

I don't think
I understand.

When I got hit
on the line,

I thought for sure
I was gonna die.

I had no idea they
was gonna pick me up

and fix me so fast.

Well, we have the fastest
docs in the West.

Yeah, well,
the thing of it is,

when I was out there,
layin' there, not knowin',

I made a promise
to God.

I said, "Dear God,
you get me out of this,

"and I'll become
a priest."

And he got you
out of it.

And I don't wanna
be a priest.

You think
he'll understand?

If everyone who ever
promised to take the vow

in a moment of stress
made good,

there'd be so many
of us around,

it'd look like
the priesthood

had had a population
explosion.

Let me put
that another way.

He'll understand.

Ah, thanks for letting me
chew your ear, Father.

That's what
they're there for.

Got a chest
or a belly wound?

Legs.

You can have a beer.
Compliments of the doctors.

Well, I'd rather
have some scotch.

You're too young
to drink.

You're lucky you didn't
have to show your I.D.

to get shot.

Clean out the sink.

In the middle of a war,
I couldn't care less who wins.

I mean, for my money,
I give you Red China
and six points,

or the other way around.

And now they got me
scrubbin' sinks.

It's crazy, right?
No, being in is sane.

You know my problem?
I played hard to get.

You do that,
and the Army's
got to have you.

Kid from my neighborhood,
really nuts,

Archie Jagloff.

He fell into a sewer
when he was little.

He was always a little jerky
after that.

Grew up to be a Nazi.
No kiddin'.

Tried to volunteer,
join up.

Couldn't wait to
come over here.

drop anything from
an A bomb to a Z bomb.

The Army turned him down.

Said he had flat feet.

You know how he got
flat feet?

Goose steppin'
in his basement.

Me they had to have.

Said I was nuts.

They said,
"What's your religion?"

I said, "Aztec."

They said,
"Stop jokin'"

I said, "Bring me a virgin,
I'll cut her heart out."

They looked into my ears,
I said, "Ahh."

They said,
"Stick out your tongue,"
I pulled down my pants.

They called in a psychiatrist,
I kissed him on the mouth.

You know what
the guy in charge said?

"Keep this up and
we'll make you an officer."

-B.J.: Right through here.
Watch the door.
-HAWKEYE: Don, is it clean?

KLINGER:
You really gonna operate
in the sink?

B.J.:
We have to work underwater.
He's got phosphorus burns.

HAWKEYE :
It's in the tissues.

If it hits the air,
it can ignite.

Next thing you know,
you got G.I. flambé.

The guy could catch
on fire? Wow.

-We're gonna need
some more sulfa powder.
-We're low on sulfa.

We've got enough saltpeter
for World War IX.

That stuff really work?

Search me, fella.

What's happening?

Cleaning the wound.

Debriding the necrotic
or loose tissue.

I don't know
how you guys do it.

Helps a little if
you think you're God.

Over there.

All right.
I think that's all.

Copper sulfate.

This stuff coats
and neutralizes

the, uh, little bits
of phosphorous

that might still
be in the leg.

It also helps to
see where they are.

How do you keep all
that stuff in your head?

You wear earplugs
so it doesn't leak out.

Turn off the lights.

Observe, Klinger.

B.J.:
The solution fluoresces,

and we take out
whatever shines.

HAWKEYE:
Like so...

and so.

And thus...

And this.

Lights.

-And the sulfa.
-Here.

All right, we'll
leave the wound open.

-Get him a bed.
-Right.

Boy, seeing the way you guys
work with the wounded,

the way you deal
with burned up legs,

ripped up bellies.

Makes me proud
every time I throw up.

ANNOUNCER:
A mop-up expedition
directed at rooting out

a band of Vietminh
Red terrorists

who have made the swamp
their hideout.

Another Asian country brought
to violence and bloodshed

by Communist conspirators

who have to be
flushed like rats.

Take it easy.

Take good care
of him, Doc.

Friend of yours, Radar?

Somebody said
he was from Iowa.

He's not from
Iowa anymore.

Litter!

Gloves.

I can't believe
the traffic.

One short, Doctor.

Don't tell me.

No. You used 11 sponges,
and we've only removed 10.

Hotshot left
a sponge in.

Not now, Major.

What's the matter
with the big honcho?

-Losing his touch, huh?
-Knock it off, Burns.

I just wanna see
if Dr. Perfect

takes it as well
as he dishes it out.

One more word, Frank,

and I'll button
your lip to your fly.

B.J.:
That was close.

POTTER:
One of our mines.

Weather changes
set 'em off.

-Are you sure about
that sponge count?
-Yes, Doctor.

Amazing what can get
stuck in the human body.

My sister-in-law, Rose,

swallowed a dried apricot
at her bridge club.

Ten minutes later,
she drank a glass of water.

The fruit expanded
to its original size,

lodged in her duodenum.

They rushed her
to the hospital,
called me,

and I had to perform
an "apricot-ectomy."

A little suction.

MAN :
Attention, all personnel.

According to
supreme headquarters,

the Army of the People's
Republic of China

has hit and ruptured the
entire United Nations line.

The Chinese have attacked
with 33 divisions.

That's, uh,
300,000 men, folks.

According to headquarters,

we now face
an entirely new war.

That's for those of you who
were tired of the old one.

-Doctor.
-Oh, good.

That's Chinese
for "thank you."

No sense wasting time.

Radar?

-Radar?
-Here.

Have the nurse start
some plasma, stat!

Lieutenant Gage!

Radar, there are
four other MASHes.

Call to see if they
can give us some help.

-I got it.
-They're flocking in here
like we got a white sale.

-X-rays.
-Lieutenant,
litter number one.

We want plasma, stat.

Okay, you can sit
on a bench out there.

Don't run any races.

I found this
in his pocket.

He was going on leave
tomorrow, to Tokyo.

And so he will.

GENERAL MacARTHUR:
Again, my thanks,

and deepest appreciation

from both Mrs. MacArthur
and myself

for your heart-warming
reception.

We shall never forget it.

You have made us feel

that we are indeed home.

I, for one,
am glad the Chinese

have finally gotten
into the show.

We'll obliterate
them all.

All 600 million,
Frank?

Oh, most of 'em don't
wanna be Reds anyway.

Then why kill 'em?

Well, they can't
have it both ways.

ANNOUNCER:
The people are here
to watch famous folk

in the National Celebrities
Golf Tournament in Washington.

And Milton Berle
clowns with Danny Kaye.

Now look at me,
look at me.

ANNOUNCER:
Easy does it,
Danny Boy.

-Burns.
-Sir?

Be sure not to sew up
any contaminated wounds.

Is the colonel suggesting
my work is careless?

Not at all.
I just know how hard
it is to operate

and be secretary of state
at the same time.

ANNOUNCER:
Now Danny addresses
the ball,

and it turns out to be
the wrong address.

And here comes Bob Hope,
the casual and clever comedian,

contriving to perform a putt
with pool-like perfection.

How about that?

Uh, sir,
are you busy?

Just putting a new hinge
on this bladder, Radar.
What is it?

Uh, cook wants to know
how you feel about dinner.

Mostly nauseous.

Well, it's just that he's got
some wounded in the mess tent,

and he's not sure
what to do.

Did you call about
the plasma?

Well, the lines are
all jammed, sir.

-Un-jam 'em.
-Yes, sir.

Radar.
What happened to
your glasses?

Oh, I slipped and fell
on the bus.

It's kinda bloody.

Can you see?

Oh, yes, sir,
everything.

Just a few times more
than I'm used to.

I sort of know how
a fly feels.

-Get on the plasma, Radar.
-I'll get on the plasma.

Hey, put out
that cigarette.

There's a lot of
ether in there.

Hey, I'm a
sergeant, fella.

And I'm a captain,
fella,

which means if
we're blown up,

I'll fly higher than you.

So put it out.

Sorry, sir.

This area is only
for hospital personnel.

I got a buddy in there.

Everybody's got
a buddy in there.

All right.

Look, we'll keep
you posted.

Let you know the minute
it's a boy or a girl.

Hi, Dusty.
Yeah, it's Radar.

Oh, I'm fine.

Well, not really.
I'm closer to lousy
than fine.

Listen, Dusty, we got
a terrible plasma problem here.

No, plasma.

Yeah, all of our stock
is over 21 days old.

We're not supposed
to use it then, huh?

H-How's your
outfit fixed?

-No kidding.

Hey, listen, uh, maybe we
can make a swap then, huh?

Let me get my quartermaster
sheet out here.

Hey, we got rain here.
You too?

Wonder why the army
ordered that.

Okay, hold on now.

Listen, this is gonna be
a little rough, uh, Dusty.

I broke my glasses,

and it's like looking
through an ice cube.

Uh, how would you
like some, uh--

Wait a minute.

Hey, would you like
some Jeep butter?

No. No, that's, uh--

Uh, Jeep batteries.
We got two extra.

No, huh?
Well, let's see.

We got Bunsen burners,
throat swabs.

Hey, you can't
pass this up.

The quartermaster
made a mistake

and sent us 5,000 extra
rolls of toilet paper.

Yeah, well,
I know it's a lot,

but, uh, maybe you could
start your own newspaper.

Colonel Potter,
I want to see you.

One step closer, and you'll
get the whole picture.

I just heard something
very disturbing,

and if it's true
I'm afraid I'm going
to have to fight you.

You might at least let
me get into my trunks.

-It can't wait.
-Well, fire ahead then.

Is it true you might
ship us out, the nurses?

Major, the Chinese are
pouring over the border

like the country's
sprung a leak.

It's a drastic situation.

The nurses have
to be evacuated.

Colonel, you don't
understand.

It won't be
the first time.

The service is my life.

I was born in
an army hospital.

Started in
khaki diapers, eh?

Mother and I
followed Dad

to every army post
he was assigned to.

Benning, Ord,
Dix, Kilmer.

The army was all I knew.

I had no idea
what a civilian was.

I thought it was somebody
waiting around for his uniform

to come back
from the cleaners.

When I was five,
I had a crying fit

because they wouldn't
let me have a crew cut.

I was born to serve,
Colonel.

You must let me!

I'd rather not
have the nurses

in the path
of the fighting.

I can look
after my girls.

Things could get ugly.

Uglier than our own mines
trying to kill me?

Uglier than rats mating
in my duffel bag?

I get your point.

ANNOUNCER:
Arriving in New York,
Rita Hayworth,

film queen who became
a real life princess

by marrying the heir
of the fabulous Aga Kahn.

You know, the first thing
I'm going to do is

go out and get
myself a hot dog.

I'd like to give you
about 20 more sutures, pal,

but business
is just too good.

Okay, Lieutenant,
he's ready to re-enlist.

Fresh gloves.
Somebody, please.

All out, sir.

-I beg your pardon?
-That's it for the gloves.

They're torn, shot,
finished, eighty-sixed.

How can a hospital
run out?

How can we operate
without gloves?

ANNOUNCER:
Meet Dagwood,
a female feline

featuring prodigious
prowess at Ping Pong

in Portland, Oregon.

The amazing mouser
reveals fantastic finesse.

Dagwood is just
purring along.

The eight year-old tabby
can really volley, by golly.

And the score
is now one-itch.

Dagwood, you're really
the cat's whiskers.

How about 400 thermometers?

Well, they make nice
Christmas decorations.

You know, they look like
little icicles.

No. Well, wait a minute,
we'll find something.

Hey. Hey, did you ever,
uh, read the, uh,
Tropic of Cancer,

or the Tropic of, uh,
"Copper Can"?

Yeah, they're books.

But I mean books.

Yeah, they're published
in, uh...

France.

Yeah. Do I need to
tell you any more?

They're really something.
No kidding.

They'll get you through
the war without a leave.

Really?
Ah, terrific!

Yeah. Okay,
how much plasma do I--
do I get?

I'd hate it here
without the nurses.

They're the only
reason I stay.

This isn't bad.
What is it?

You didn't
know him, Father.

"A soldier of the legion
lay dying in Algiers.

"It was a lack
of woman's nursing.

There was a dearth
of woman's tears."

Caroline Elizabeth
Sarah Norton.

You know a lot
of poetry.

I went through school on a
scholarship from Burma Shave.

-You know any?
-I got a beaut, but not
in front of the father.

Oh, Hawkeye.

You know, Father...

standing there like that
with the light hitting you
the way it does--

Yes?

You look just like a
"B" girl I knew in San Diego.

It's quite possible.

I worked my way
through divinity school

as a "B" girl
in San Diego.

Oh, Father.

Look out, Dagwood.

Hey, I fell asleep.

Where can I find
my buddy?

Your buddy's
got a name?

Bender.
Jack Bender.

-Try the hospital.
-Where's that?

Two doors down.

It's a beautiful
white building,

with the statue
of Lionel Barrymore
in front.

Hit me with the
alcohol, Margaret.

Barehanded surgery.

Now practicing
the Tarzan School
of Medicine.

Room seems to have
a weak bladder.

I smell
something burning.

I do hope it's
not the crepes.

Watch your language!

Clamp.

Criminy! Klinger!

-Look at that!
-How'd that happen?

How do I know?
Douse it, will ya?

Stand back.

Hey, are you crazy?

-I thought it was water.
-That's alcohol.

Can you imagine what that
does to your stomach?

You moron! I have to
do everything myself!

The laundry's on fire.

I was wondering when things
would get interesting.

MARGARET:
Is it under control?

Well, O'Reilly and Klinger
are working on it.

It'll be fine.

Holy mackerel!

The blind leading
the blind.

B.J.:
Nice thought for
a hospital, Frank.

HAWKEYE:
Never at a loss
for the wrong phrase.

Why don't we go outside
where it's dry and work?

Corpsman,
another bucket here.

Thank you, Major.

-Help!
-I'll get some light!

What happened?

Bulb got wet!
Glass in the patient!

Father, more pickups.

-MULCAHY: Pickups coming up.
-Thanks.

Colonel, I don't know
how to tell you this,

but I've had
a better offer.

Take me with you.

The fire's out.

There's nothin'
to worry about.

-Sandwiches--

Put somethin' over
those windows!

Cover the patients!

That was peanut
butter and jelly.

It took me three weeks
to requisition that!

RADAR:
Holy cow!

MAN :
Attention, all personnel.

By direction of the
secretary of the army,

under A-R-220315,

the Meritorious Unit
Commendation is awarded

to the Mobile Army
Surgical Hospital,
4077 unit,

for exceptionally
meritorious conduct

in the performance of
outstanding services.

Despite the necessity of
working in a forward area,

under adverse
field conditions,

this hospital maintained
the highest professional
standards at all times.

The ability, loyalty,
and esprit de corps

exhibited by this hospital,

reflects great credit
on each and every member.

Just wanted to
thank you for staying.