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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:05,520 -[upbeat relaxing music] -♪ Somewhere beyond the sea ♪ 2 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:11,920 ♪ Somewhere waiting for me ♪ 3 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:17,680 ♪ My lover stands on golden sands ♪ 4 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:23,480 ♪ And watches the ships that go sailing ♪ 5 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:31,160 ♪ Somewhere beyond the sea ♪ 6 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:37,600 ♪ He's there watching for me ♪ 7 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:42,920 ♪ If I could fly like birds on high ♪ 8 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,760 -Here you go, David. -Cheers, Carol. 9 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,480 ♪ I'd go sailing ♪ 10 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:06,000 [knitting needles clicking] 11 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,000 [gulls squawking] 12 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,560 One of the bin men fell over this morning, Carol. 13 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,040 I saw him out the window. 14 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:36,360 He was wheeling the bin, the wheelie one, 15 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,480 and it got stuck on the pavement 16 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,600 and he fell over into the road. 17 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:45,200 Carol? 18 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:47,000 What's that, Mum? 19 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,480 I said one of the binmen fell over this morning. 20 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:58,480 He was wheeling the bin, the wheelie one, 21 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,400 and it got stuck on the pavement 22 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,320 and he fell over into the road. 23 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,720 Did he, Mum? 24 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:05,560 Yeah. 25 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,280 The wheelie one. 26 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,040 Into the road. 27 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,960 He's ever so lucky a car wasn't coming. 28 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:18,960 He'd have been dead. 29 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,320 Okay, Stan. See you in a bit. 30 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,080 Have you seen my calculator? 31 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:46,880 It's by the ball of elastic bands. 32 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,640 James Martin's mum was at the Deaf Aid dinner. 33 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:53,280 -Pardon? -James Martin's Mum was at... 34 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:54,800 Oh, very funny. 35 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,640 [Mary laughs] 36 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,760 He's a lawyer now in Bridgewater. 37 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,920 -Who is? -James Martin. 38 00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:01,000 He'd sort you out. 39 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,840 Sort me out? I don't need to sorting out. 40 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,720 Makes a lot of money, according to his mother. 41 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:07,200 -Who does? -James Martin. 42 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,720 Make a lovely boyfriend. 43 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,800 -Who would? -James Martin. 44 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:11,840 [Mary] Who's James Martin? 45 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,160 Can we please stop talking about James Martin? 46 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,920 Is he that chef? 47 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:16,840 No, Nan. 48 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,200 I likes him on "Saturday Kitchen". 49 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,520 I don't need a boyfriend. 50 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,120 Well, you're not gonna get one moping around here 51 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,800 with a face like a smacked arse. 52 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:25,640 I'm not moping. 53 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,640 And you can't keep pining after Christopher. 54 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,760 I'm not pining, I just don't want a boyfriend. 55 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:32,640 Don't be ridiculous, Sarah. Everyone wants a boyfriend. 56 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:33,600 Lesbians don't. 57 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:34,520 Are you lesbian? 58 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:35,440 [Sarah] Not that I'm aware of. 59 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,600 It's okay if you are. 60 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,400 I know, but I'm not. Are you? 61 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,240 [Carol] No. 62 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,360 It's okay if you are. 63 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:41,880 I know, but I'm not. 64 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,080 You do wear comfy shoes. 65 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:47,320 I'm just saying it's time you moved on. 66 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:48,720 [Mary chuckles] 67 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,040 [Mary] Pot calling kettle. [chuckles] 68 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,320 [light upbeat music] 69 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,480 [train whistle hoots] 70 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:05,520 Did you know, Mrs. Dobson, 71 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,120 that by the time they reach 60, 72 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,200 the average human being has lost half their taste buds? 73 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,480 That doesn't surprise me. 74 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:16,080 So I've got you two and a half biscuits to make up for it. 75 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:16,880 Back in a min. 76 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:18,680 All right, Dad? 77 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,920 Chloe. What is wrong with that? 78 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,480 I don't know. 79 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,680 How many bottles of shampoo did you order? 80 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,600 -50. -Look again. 81 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,320 Uh, 50. Oh, whoops- 82 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:39,160 Yes, whoops, we don't need 83 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,960 500 bottles of shampoo, you clown. 84 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,040 Go and cancel the order. 85 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,560 Kids, eh, Alice? 86 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,440 Can't live with them. Can't kill them. 87 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:48,440 Where are you going? 88 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,120 To take a long walk off a short pier. 89 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,920 Ooh, get me a latte and tell Sarah I'll be down in a bit. 90 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,920 What did your last servant die of? Laters. 91 00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,560 Now, Mrs. D, found anything you fancy? 92 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:04,000 [light upbeat music] 93 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,000 Oh, that's interesting. 94 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,400 [gulls squawking] 95 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,800 [Carol] Business going well though, Brenda? 96 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,960 Well, I really can't complain, Carol. 97 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,760 There we are. Blueberry muffin, take-away black coffee. 98 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:19,040 That's 3.50 please. 99 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,320 Will I see you at the town planning meeting 100 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,120 next week, Carol? 101 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,640 [Carol] Oh yes, definitely. 102 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:23,840 Yeah, you should come. 103 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,720 They've got some great ideas for the seafront. 104 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:26,800 Might be of interest to you. 105 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,520 Oh yes, lovely. 106 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,760 Great. Thanks for this. 107 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,600 Nice to be home, Sarah? 108 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,240 Yeah, you know. 109 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,360 I don't know how you do it. 110 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,320 Two minutes with my mother 111 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:42,920 and I'd throw her down the stairs. 112 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,400 [Sarah and Brenda laugh] 113 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:45,240 Bye, all! 114 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:46,320 -Bye. -Bye, Brenda. 115 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:49,480 [door clicks] 116 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,400 You think she goes to bed in that suit? 117 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,800 You wanna do that in an Excel spreadsheet, Carol. 118 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,680 Yeah, thank you, Bill Gates. 119 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,800 Oh, for goodness sake. I keep getting the same number. 120 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:06,680 [Mary] That's good. 121 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,240 Not if you can't pay it. 122 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,400 [door squeaks] 123 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,320 Ooh, talk of the devil. Hello Richard, love. 124 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,800 Yeah not bad, thanks. All right? 125 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:18,640 -All right? -All right. 126 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:19,840 -All right? -All right. 127 00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,280 Carol, Big Issue Frank wants to know 128 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,120 if there's any leftovers yet. 129 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:25,000 End of the day, Frank. End of the day. 130 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,120 What can I get for you, Richard? 131 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,920 Could I get a egg mayo baguette 132 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,520 but no mayo, on a roll please. 133 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,880 -Egg roll then? -Yeah. 134 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,480 Do you want a muffin, Richard? 135 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:38,640 -No, thanks. -Oh, go on. 136 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,120 Okay. How's the writing going Sarah? 137 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,880 [Carol] Ooh, don't mention the war, Richard. 138 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,240 Okay. Got a new car today, Sarah. 139 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,040 -Did you? -Yep. 140 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,160 -Did you, Richard? -Yep, off the internet. 141 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,120 [gasps] You got a car off the internet? 142 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:49,960 Yep. 143 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:53,120 Pound Shop Pam's daughter got boyfriend off the internet. 144 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,080 Okay? I'm gonna lease it. 145 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,760 Normally would have been 300 a month, got it down to 270. 146 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,480 [Carol] Oh, well done, Richard. Good lad. 147 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:01,480 Yep, plus extras. 148 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,760 [Mary] Who's Pound Shop Pam? 149 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,160 You sat next to her at Alice's barbecue. 150 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,320 She had coleslaw all round her mouth. No one told her. 151 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,200 Oh yeah. [chuckles] 152 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,960 Yeah, electric windows, fitted alarm, 153 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,560 sound system, and interior fabric protection 154 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,920 if I can't remove a stain. 155 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,640 -ABS brakes, Richard? -No. 156 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,760 -Trip computer? -No. 157 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,840 Wendy's nephew got his car with ABS brakes 158 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,360 and a trip computer. 159 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,200 Oh, right. 160 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,840 What is a trip computer, Richard? 161 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,400 I dunno, Mar. 162 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,360 It sounds wonderful, Richard. 163 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:34,200 Cheers, Carol. 164 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,360 So where is it? 165 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:40,760 [Richard] Where's what? 166 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:41,720 Your car. 167 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,240 Oh, uh, well I haven't got it yet. 168 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,120 -Oh. -But I will though. 169 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,440 Of course you will. 170 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,240 -It's gonna be amazing. -Amazing. 171 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,520 Yeah, yeah. He's a real entrepreneur. 172 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,480 He owns the third largest flying school in Europe. 173 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,440 [upbeat rock music] 174 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,120 Cool, well Skype me for the morning meeting 175 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,600 and I'll be back in the afternoon. 176 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,960 Uh, no. Bazingy hours are til six. 177 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,720 I don't know man. 178 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,120 I haven't seen him in years. 179 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,960 [laughs] Yes, mate. Home sweet home. 180 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,600 Well, wish me luck. 181 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,880 ♪ I am the one and only ♪ 182 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,000 -♪ You can't take ♪ -[phone rings] 183 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:30,000 ♪ That away from me ♪ 184 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:34,600 ♪ I am the one and only ♪ 185 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:38,360 ♪ Ain't nobody I'd rather be ♪ 186 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,360 [gulls squawking] 187 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,200 [siren blaring] 188 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:50,400 Oh, something's going on. 189 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,320 [Mary] There's trouble for someone. 190 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,720 They caught who stole Susie's purse in the end. 191 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,640 [Mary] Did they? 192 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,080 Mm, remember the twins that lived on Drakefield Road? 193 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,080 Came to your sixth birthday party 194 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,920 dressed as a chest of drawers. 195 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,640 -[Sarah] No. -Well it was one of them. 196 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,360 -[Mary] Which one? -Bottom one. 197 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,360 Talk of the devil. Hello, Stan. 198 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,520 Hi, my lovers, Dicky-pants. 199 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:20,360 All right, Stan? 200 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,760 Oh, struggling on as a boy does. 201 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,240 Just a tea please, Carol, paper cup. 202 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,800 I'll do it. 203 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:27,960 D'you want a muffin, Stan? 204 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,200 Yeah, go on then. 205 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,240 Don't you dare, they've been sat there a week. 206 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,600 You want apple pie, Stan? 207 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,720 Oh, proper job. 208 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,480 [Carol] You want your cheese on it? 209 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,640 Carol, apple pie without the cheese is like a 210 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:44,600 [Carol And Stan] Kiss without the squeeze. [laugh] 211 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,880 Actually Carol, leave the cheese. 212 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,800 Probably best to leave the pie and all. 213 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,240 Stan, you'll waste away. 214 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,800 I wish! There's today's cuttings. 215 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,240 Oh, they're gorgeous. 216 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,200 Few leftover daisies from a christening bouquet. 217 00:09:58,200 --> 00:09:59,720 And what do daisies mean? 218 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,520 The days eye. 219 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,640 Open with the day, close with the night. 220 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:05,480 Bang on. 221 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,720 Thanks, love. Oh, Chloe says she'll be round in a bit. 222 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:11,920 [Carol] Oh how is she? 223 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,840 Thick as a whale omelette. 224 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:14,760 [Carol laughs] 225 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:15,920 Here, Dig-Dig. 226 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:19,160 Your dad told me about that gig. Good news, ey? 227 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,000 What gig? 228 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,840 Guitar and backing vocals for Meatloaf. 229 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,920 -[Sarah] Meatloaf? -Yeah, Comeback Tour 2012. 230 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,120 [Carol] I didn't know they'd gone away! 231 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,040 That's amazing. 232 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,280 Can't do it though. 233 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,120 [Sarah] Why not? 234 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,800 Teach guitar on a Tuesdays, init. 235 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:31,640 Richard. 236 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,000 I've got responsibilities, Sar. 237 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:33,840 But it's Meatloaf. 238 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,320 Well, that's life. 239 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,760 You're something else you are, lad. 240 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,960 Oh, who invited Night Rider? 241 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:42,160 [gasps] That's posh. 242 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,040 Is that like yours, Richard? 243 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:49,360 No. That's a Porsche. 244 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:52,880 I got a Clio. 245 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,200 Not yet, you haven't. 246 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:55,160 No, but I will have. 247 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:58,280 Wendy's nephew's got an Aston Martin. 248 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,680 Austin Maestro, Nan. 249 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,800 Well, those flowers won't deliver themselves. 250 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,640 You fancy a drink later, Carol? See off the week? 251 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,600 Oh, I can't tonight, Stan. 252 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,000 I gotta get the accounts over to Brian. 253 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,680 Okie-dokie, but you keep turning me down, I'll move on. 254 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:19,440 Here, Mar, you fancy little tipple? 255 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,760 Oh not tonight, Stanley. I'm washing my hair. 256 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,440 Well if you need any shampoo, 257 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,400 Chloe's ordered enough to re flood Brisbane. 258 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,040 -Bye, all. -Buh-bye, Stanley. 259 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,600 -Bye. -Bye, Stan. 260 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,680 [light upbeat music] 261 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,680 [gulls squawking] 262 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:41,040 What you up to later? 263 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:41,840 No plans. 264 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:43,680 Okay, well, I'm walking a dog on the beach at six 265 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,320 -if you fancy it. -Okay, maybe. 266 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,760 Okay. Well, I'd better get back to work. 267 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,640 When Kieran comes in, tell him to answer his phone. 268 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:51,520 Okay. 269 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:52,880 -Laters. -Laters. 270 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,960 -Bye, Richard. -Bye, Richard. 271 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,240 [door clunks] 272 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,480 What? 273 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:03,840 I'm not saying anything. 274 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,720 -[Sarah] I can see that. -But you was a lovely couple. 275 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,280 12 years ago, Mum. 276 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,800 I know, but look at him now. 277 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:10,640 [Sarah] What about him now? 278 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,160 -Good job, own car. -No he hasn't. 279 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,360 -Got a gig with Meatloaf. -No he hasn't. 280 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,480 He's got a dog and he composts. 281 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,960 Oh, wow. Hand me a rolling pin and I'll bake him a cake. 282 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:21,120 What's wrong With baking cakes? 283 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,280 Nothing. Richard and I are friends, Mum. 284 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,240 -Does he know that? -Course he does. 285 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,520 You're sure you're not a lesbian? 286 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:28,800 [Sarah] Yes. 287 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:29,920 You look a bit like a lesbian. 288 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,360 What does that mean? 289 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,480 I don't mind if you are. 290 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:37,040 Wendy's daughter's a lesbian and she's done ever so well. 291 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,120 And she's single. You should give her a call. 292 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,480 You used to love meatloaf, didn't you Carol? 293 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:45,720 [Carol] What's that, Mum? 294 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,480 Meatloaf every Monday, 295 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,840 gammon and pineapple every Meatloaf, 296 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,520 fish and chips on a Friday. 297 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,560 Those were the days. 298 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,480 Every day's the same these days. 299 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,520 What's that, Nan? 300 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:06,120 I said every day's the same these days. 301 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,000 -Yeah. -[car beeps] 302 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,880 [Carol] Oh, hello there. 303 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:15,360 Hi, can you tell me how to get to Wetlands Nursing Home? 304 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,760 Are you driving or walking? 305 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,960 -Driving. -Oh, that's a shame. 306 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,200 There it is. 307 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,320 Oh, which one? 308 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,200 It's the one with the blue sign. 309 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,040 [John] Cheers. 310 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,520 -Hi. -Hi. 311 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,040 Sorry, do I know you? 312 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,720 No, but I do come here often. 313 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,040 Sarah Porter. 314 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,040 -Yeah? -It's John. 315 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,280 John Streatfield, A-level English Lit. 316 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,440 John, sorry. I didn't recognise you with the... 317 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,280 It's been a while. 318 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:52,720 [Sarah] Yeah. You used to be so- 319 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:53,840 Fat? 320 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,480 -No, different. -Mm. 321 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,080 Nice car. 322 00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,680 Oh yeah, cheers. 323 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:01,360 Corners like she's on rails. 324 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,120 Did you just quote "Pretty Woman"? 325 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,320 I think I might have done, yeah. 326 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:09,760 Smooth. 327 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,280 Well, you know, nobody puts Baby in a corner. 328 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:13,160 [Sarah laughs] 329 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,520 Have you got a toilet I could...? 330 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,440 -It's just... -Thanks. 331 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,720 -Well he's lovely! -Ssh! 332 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:24,600 [Mary] Is he blind? 333 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:25,840 I don't think so. 334 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,560 Why is he wearing dark glasses indoors then? 335 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,360 Ssh! 336 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,840 Oh, talk of the devil. Hello, Chloe love. 337 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,440 Mar, Carol, Scutler. 338 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:36,880 -All right? -Latte please, 339 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,600 and a diet water for the anorexic. 340 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,640 -Oh, how is she? -Thin. 341 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,720 OMG, Mrs. Dobson just told me the best fact in the world. 342 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,920 The blue whale has a willy that's 12 foot long 343 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,120 and dispenses of one tonne of sperm. 344 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,960 Imagine that thing racing towards you in bed. 345 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,040 Oh, that'll make your eyes water. 346 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,360 No pain, no gain, Carol. 347 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:57,920 All right, Scutler? 348 00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,080 -All right? -All right? 349 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,360 Oh, talk of the devil. Hello, Kieran love. 350 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,920 Kieran, Mrs. Dobson just told me 351 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:04,000 the best fact in the world. 352 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,600 -A whale has- -12 foot, one tonne. 353 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,400 She told me. Usual please, Carol. 354 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,240 Plus straw. Don't wanna smudge. 355 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:13,480 -[Sarah] Good one. -What've you come as 356 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,000 today then, Kieran? 357 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,200 The Tin Man, but I don't have no silver. 358 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,720 [laughs] You look like a Quality Street. 359 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:21,560 Cheers, Mar. 360 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,720 There's your USB. 361 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,880 [gasps] Oh. Thanks, love. 362 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,320 [Carol] What have you given her today? 363 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,920 -Matt Cardle. -Ooh no. 364 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:31,960 Uh, he's lush. 365 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,400 Richard says answer your phone. 366 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,200 How many times? I'm a living statue. 367 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,440 I cannot just answer my phone willy-nilly. 368 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,280 What we doing later? 369 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,960 Freddie Mercury tribute at the Yateses. 370 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,720 -[Chloe] There we are then. -Magnifico. 371 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:47,480 [toilet flushes] 372 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,720 -Oh, cheers Carol. -Cheers, Carol. 373 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,200 Thanks. 374 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,560 OMG, Jimbo Jumbo? 375 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,920 -Chloe Astill. -OMG! 376 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:00,560 -How are you doing? -What happened to you? 377 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:01,720 -You used to be so- -Different? 378 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:02,720 -No, fat. -Chloe! 379 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,360 Well, he did. You did. 380 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:06,200 I thought you lived in London. 381 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,680 I did. I do. 382 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,320 Sarah used to live in London. 383 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,600 Ah, did you? Where d'you live now? 384 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,800 -Here. -Oh, sorry. 385 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:15,640 Cheers. [laughs] 386 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,480 So what do you do in London? 387 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,640 I'm an events manager. 388 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,000 What, like fetes and stuff? 389 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,000 Yeah. Yeah, really big fetes. 390 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:22,840 Like what? 391 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,680 Well, like the Olympics. 392 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,360 -The Olympics? -The Olympics? 393 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,200 -The Olympics? -The Olympics? 394 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,240 Yeah. 395 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,880 You're managing the actual Olympics? 396 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,080 Not the actual Olympics, but you know, 397 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,480 events connected with the Olympics, yeah. 398 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,720 Oh my G. 399 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:36,880 [Sarah] Don't say, "Oh my G". 400 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,040 What do you do? 401 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,440 I'm a hairdresser. 402 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,200 Oh. And you? 403 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,440 Um, sort of nothing at the moment. 404 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,960 She's a writer, John. 405 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:45,920 No I'm not. 406 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,480 Oh don't be ridiculous, Sarah, of course you are. 407 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,360 [John] What do you write? 408 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:50,480 Children's stories. 409 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:51,440 -Do you? -Do you? 410 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,160 -Do you? -Yeah. 411 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,840 [Kieran slurps] 412 00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,320 It's Kieran. 413 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,520 Of course, sorry. 414 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,640 I couldn't tell with all the gold. 415 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,280 I'm a living statue. 416 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,600 Oh, and that's a- 417 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,120 -Yeah it's my career. -Sure. 418 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,920 So how long are you back for? 419 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:13,600 Just a couple of days. 420 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,680 What you doing later? 421 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,200 Do you wanna come to a Freddie Mercury tribute up Yateses? 422 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,520 -Oh, I've got a- -Life? 423 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:20,720 No, no. [chuckles] 424 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,320 I have to visit a relative. 425 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,560 He's going to Wetlands. 426 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,120 That's where Richard works. Remember Richard? 427 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,600 Oh yeah. He's given up trying to be a rock star then? 428 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:29,440 No. 429 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,520 -[phone rings] -Sorry. 430 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,240 Is that Seb Coe about the velodromes? 431 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,800 Something like that. Sorry. 432 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:37,960 Hi, Steve? 433 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,960 Hello? Can you hear me? 434 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,560 Yeah, I am literally in the arse end of nowhere. 435 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:46,560 Nice to see you all again. 436 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,520 What the hell happened to him? 437 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,080 He used to be a right minger. 438 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,720 Richard used to hate him. 439 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:55,640 [Sarah] Why? 440 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,000 Because he used to fancy you. 441 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,120 -He used to fancy me? -He used to fancy her? 442 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,440 Don't sound so surprised. 443 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:01,760 -Who used to fancy her? -[car engine revs] 444 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,240 John used to fancy her. 445 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,200 John used to fancy her? 446 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,440 Don't sound so surprised. 447 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,240 Some people will do anything for attention. 448 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,840 Right, I'd better remove Mrs. Dobson from under the dryer. 449 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,000 She found a photo in "Heat" she got me to copy. 450 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,320 -Who of? -Russell Brand. 451 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:21,200 She's nearly 80. 452 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,920 I know, she's gonna look wicked! 453 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,280 -Laters. -Laters. 454 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,280 John used to fancy me? 455 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,200 Oh don't sound so surprised. 456 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,600 How did I not know that? 457 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,720 Uh, because you're always looking the wrong way? 458 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:34,560 Thanks Carol. 459 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,640 -Laters. -Laters. 460 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,360 Ta-ra, golden balls. 461 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,520 Well, John's- 462 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:50,400 Don't start. 463 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,200 [Carol] I'm not starting, I'm just saying- 464 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,600 -Mum- -He's got a good job. 465 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:54,720 -Mum- -Posh car. 466 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:55,560 Mum! 467 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,200 Well you've gotta do something, Sarah. 468 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,000 I am doing something. 469 00:18:59,000 --> 00:18:59,840 [Carol] What? 470 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,680 Trying to sort out my career. 471 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,320 No one ever made a living out of being a writer. 472 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,160 Yes they did. 473 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,640 Well not anyone from Weston. 474 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,320 -Yes they did. -Who? 475 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,760 Roald Dahl, John Cleese, Jeffrey Archer. 476 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,280 Yeah, and look how he turned out. 477 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:14,880 Lord Archer. 478 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,320 I'm just saying that I don't want 479 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,360 you to be sat there in 20 years time, 480 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:19,920 penniless and alone. 481 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,280 'Cause what'll you do then? 482 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,560 Run a cafe. 483 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,280 Well, yes. Let that be an incentive. 484 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,480 [Mary] Diana Doors. 485 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,640 What about her, Nan? 486 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,600 She came to Weston. 487 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:40,480 She came third in a beauty contest at the Tropicana. 488 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,200 -When? -1945. 489 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,800 How do you know that? 490 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,440 Who do you think came first? 491 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,560 [Sarah laughs] 492 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,720 [light pensive music] 493 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,840 Yeah, I'm just waiting to see her now. 494 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,280 Uh, [coughs] no, I'll be back Monday. 495 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,320 Tonight? I dunno. 496 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:12,920 Probably just catch up with some old mates. 497 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,680 Yeah, okay, love you too. Bye. 498 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,080 Richard Dickens. 499 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,320 John Streatfield, long time no see. 500 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,160 Yep. 501 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,600 D'you want to come through? 502 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,240 Can't she be bothered to come and meet me? 503 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,760 When was the last time you saw your mum? 504 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,440 Uh, it's been a while. Why? 505 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,320 Okay, I think we need to have a bit of a chat 506 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,160 before you go in. 507 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:51,880 How did I end up back here, Nan? 508 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,320 You got dumped, quit your job and ran out of money. 509 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,880 Oh yeah. Thanks, Nan. 510 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,960 -Nan? -Yes. 511 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,600 How long were you and granddad together? 512 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:07,840 [Mary] 50 years. 513 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,160 Were you happy? 514 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:15,120 God no, he was a cantankerous, miserable 515 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:18,400 old bugger. [chuckles] 516 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:19,320 Do you miss him? 517 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:25,480 Every day, love. Every day. 518 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,840 But, you know what they say? 519 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:31,680 [Sarah] What's that? 520 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,560 Get a new man on your body 521 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,440 to get the old one off your mind. 522 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,400 [laughs] Thanks, Nan. 523 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:44,480 ♪ Somewhere beyond the sea ♪ 524 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:50,800 ♪ Somewhere waiting for me ♪ 525 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,920 ♪ My lover stands ♪ 526 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,480 -♪ On golden sands ♪ -[horn beeps] 527 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:01,960 ♪ And watches the ships that go sailing ♪ 528 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:02,800 "Big Issue"? 529 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:10,240 ♪ Somewhere beyond the sea ♪ 530 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:16,560 ♪ He's there watching for me ♪ 531 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,520 ♪ If I could fly like birds ♪ 532 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,200 -♪ On high ♪ -"Big Issue"? 533 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:28,120 ♪ Then straight to his arms I'd go sailing ♪ 534 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,800 [pulsing music] 36396

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