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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,157 — And I'd like to begin with a prayer. 4 00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:39,831 Creator, Holy Mother Earth, 5 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,916 holy people all around. It's me. 6 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:47,589 I'm coming before you on this holy day 7 00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:49,758 reaching out to you, 8 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,510 reaching out to my ancestors, 9 00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:54,888 reaching out to the ancestors to come. 10 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,726 May I ask that you be the ones to, 11 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:00,935 to speak here. 12 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:02,604 Show us the truth. 13 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:04,522 Show us what real love is 14 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:09,069 and may all of the stories 15 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:13,948 serve to show us the way forward. 16 00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:19,788 Reaching out to the ancestors to come, I just ask you to, 17 00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:21,915 to call out to us and to sing to us 18 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:24,209 because we're headed your way. 19 00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:27,462 Walking that beauty way pathway. 20 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,971 Let this storytelling be a part of that. 21 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:39,766 All my relations 22 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,451 — As children, we were told 23 00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:00,954 you don't cry 24 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,331 for any reason. 25 00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:08,294 You fight and you hold back those tears. 26 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:11,923 Why? 27 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,993 Historical trauma 28 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,453 has really tested us as a people. 29 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:49,002 A lot of the memories we've become so good at suppressing. 30 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:56,301 We've become experts at it, 31 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:02,223 and we've become comfortable with that, 32 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,642 comfortably sick. 33 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,355 — Why did we go through this? 34 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,610 Why is it ignored today? 35 00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:59,864 Why is it not written in history books? 36 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:04,160 Why is it put under the rug? 37 00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:10,416 Why can't the new generations of Americans 38 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:15,171 learn the truth so they can better understand their history? 39 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:35,441 — From the beginning, here in the Navajo land 40 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,486 k'é was the first thing, 41 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:46,160 K'é is the shortest word and so simple, k'é, 42 00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:50,081 but it is the seedling of who we are. 43 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,004 Relationship and kinship, 44 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:57,505 love, 45 00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,632 belonging. 46 00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:05,221 — The clan system is very important, 47 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:08,266 and it extends beyond just blood. 48 00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:12,854 You know, this is establishment of relationship, of family, 49 00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:14,355 of kinship 50 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:18,735 that goes through our matriarchal side, 51 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,903 it goes through the women's lineage. 52 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:28,745 — Our four clans that make us a whole person, 53 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,621 which is our mother and father 54 00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:34,250 and our grandparents, our paternal grandparents, 55 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,127 maternal grandparents. 56 00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:38,838 They are who we are. 57 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:47,347 — They wouldn't call me by an English name or a given name. 58 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,599 They would say, "Hey, shiyáázh." 59 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:54,771 And shiyáázh, just that simple word means my child, 60 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,523 or you belong to me, 61 00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,233 you are mine. 62 00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:00,818 "Can I talk with you?" 63 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,320 That's how it is. 64 00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:03,946 You're rooted. 65 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,366 You know, you belong here. 66 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,828 — Just imagine being a child 67 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:13,206 and being called "my child". 68 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:14,749 To every child, 69 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,918 "Good morning, my child." 70 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,754 "Good morning, my little one." 71 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:21,839 We're part of one another. 72 00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:27,637 — A Navajo child, they're not born to just parents, 73 00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:29,389 they're born into a family. 74 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,100 They're born into a community, 75 00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:36,771 and they all have a role in bringing up a child. 76 00:06:39,857 --> 00:06:44,404 — And so every time we speak of k'e 77 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:49,325 the smallest thing, clanship, relationship, kinship, 78 00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,619 all rolled up in one. 79 00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,162 When we express that, 80 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:56,791 we are in contact with all our relatives, 81 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,502 even the ones that go beyond 82 00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:01,337 into the next world. 83 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,464 That's the spirit 84 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,258 of who we are. 85 00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:09,220 Our songs, our prayers, 86 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,638 our expressions, 87 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,723 and how we speak 88 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:14,475 is who we are. 89 00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:41,502 — Our language evolved from spiritual beings, 90 00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:45,798 like the talking god, what we call Hastseyalti. 91 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,801 And then Hastsehogan, 92 00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:50,887 the spirit of the home. 93 00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:54,140 That's where our language developed. 94 00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:56,809 That's where it caught a spirit. 95 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,446 — You have to hear it from 96 00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:10,990 when you're a child, a little baby. 97 00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:14,076 Your little gugu and gagas 98 00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:16,287 are the most sacred sounds 99 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,624 that were given to us by the holy people. 100 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:07,421 — My childhood was in a hogan, 101 00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:10,550 a traditional home made out of mud and logs. 102 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:19,267 That's where I recognize home as. 103 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,730 The round home is what it's translated to. 104 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:35,241 Being in our traditional home, 105 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:38,703 we always feel that sense of belonging, 106 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,754 a sense of nurturing feeling, 107 00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:52,925 a sense of family. 108 00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:50,441 — Here's one rare photo 109 00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:53,486 of my grandpa in his ceremony. 110 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,617 I grew up with a grandfather 111 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,577 who was a medicine man, 112 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:05,289 a part of my childhood involved rhythm. 113 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:09,835 And the songs were a big part of that. 114 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,216 And they were very sacred. 115 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,259 They were not for everyone. 116 00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,805 They were for those who 117 00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:22,306 were in need. 118 00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:30,189 People would come from all parts of the reservation 119 00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:34,985 to see my grandpa who offered those songs. 120 00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:41,242 I, as a curious little girl, 121 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,494 with so many questions, 122 00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:45,663 I wanted to hear, 123 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,999 the songs. 124 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:54,130 And so I would sneak by the hogan. 125 00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:57,508 My grandma and I had this little pact. 126 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,219 I would tell her, 127 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:03,222 I promise to cut two bags of potatoes 128 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:07,685 if you only open the window this much, 129 00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:10,855 because I want to sit under it. 130 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,399 And of course, grandma's going to like, 131 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,484 okay, yeah, two bags of potatoes, 132 00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,653 you know, let's... I'll open the window. 133 00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:25,494 — Your story is through these songs. 134 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,663 It was passed on from generation 135 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,290 to generation to generation. 136 00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:31,751 He prays through the earth, 137 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,377 he prays through the air, 138 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,129 he prays through the water, 139 00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,547 he prays through the sun, 140 00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:40,009 the moon, the stars, the universe. 141 00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:57,401 — They were songs to restore a broken self. 142 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:00,571 You hear the songs, 143 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,698 but you also hear of the struggle 144 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:07,161 and you are aware of the struggle. 145 00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,088 — As a child, I remember when 146 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:22,343 you know, people first started coming into our region. 147 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,721 You kind of start to see this mentality of 148 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:27,139 you're poor. 149 00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,432 You know, you don't have anything, 150 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:31,352 you have a dirt floor hogan that's not... 151 00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:35,147 By the standards of value in American society like 152 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,608 like, you have nothing. 153 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:38,609 But for me, 154 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,194 it felt like we had everything 155 00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,780 that we were maybe the richest people in the world. 156 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:51,497 All of our cultural things that we still carry on, 157 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:55,876 all those just are so beautiful and rich that 158 00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:58,838 I really thought we were millionaires. 159 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:17,398 — What's really important is how we reframe 160 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,441 our traditional life ways, 161 00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:23,487 because so many people see it in this colonized sense 162 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,864 as being poverty. 163 00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:27,157 When in fact it is not poverty. 164 00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:32,288 There is an incredible richness 165 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:36,625 that we have in our own Indigenous identities 166 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:40,546 with our language, our culture, our foods, our ceremony, 167 00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:43,883 our song, our prayer, and our connection to Mother Earth. 168 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:10,618 — For me, there's a very important significance 169 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,162 with the hair. 170 00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:16,290 When I was a child, I've always had long hair 171 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,668 and mom had to fight my father, 172 00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:22,338 to ensure that I was able to keep my hair long 173 00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:23,547 —part of my identity. 174 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:27,259 They say this represents the rain, the moisture. 175 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,803 We live in one of the most dry, arid environments. 176 00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:35,768 At a young age 177 00:15:35,809 --> 00:15:37,811 you know, I was bullied and 178 00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:40,814 even held down in a locker room and branded 179 00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:42,191 where they heated up a lighter 180 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,068 and burned me and scarred me 181 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,778 and would call me TROG 182 00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:47,863 which means Total Reject Of God, 183 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,323 prairie n****r, 184 00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:52,618 all kinds of just hurtful, spiteful things 185 00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:56,080 because of having long hair, having pierced ears, 186 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,247 having a darker skin, 187 00:15:57,289 --> 00:16:00,042 and coming from the Navajo reservation, 188 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:02,044 the Diné nation. 189 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,841 The way that we tie hair is as it connects us 190 00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:09,468 with our universe. 191 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:13,013 So from Yádiłhił, from the sky, father sky, 192 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:17,309 the way that our jish, our sacred mountain soil bundles 193 00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:19,645 are wrapped and prepared. 194 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:23,357 This is way of bringing all those thoughts 195 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,943 in nitsáhákees, our thought processes, 196 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:29,029 everything into a harmonious place of balance. 197 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,156 You're prepared for 198 00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:32,908 all the challenges in life. 199 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,201 But it's more in the, 200 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,578 the beauty way and the blessing way. 201 00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:45,546 — We always talk about the beautiness of being Diné. 202 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:47,423 We talk about our culture, 203 00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:48,590 we talk about our language, 204 00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:50,592 we talk about the art 205 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,970 and the land, how beautiful it is. 206 00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:55,848 But I think we never talk about the darks, 207 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,766 the dark paths of 208 00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:00,144 what, what really, who we are. 209 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:14,366 — Our people experienced oppression 210 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,035 through and through. 211 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,829 They didn't know 212 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,748 what was coming for them. 213 00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:27,921 — At that time, 214 00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:30,799 the US government says 215 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,676 annihilate the Navajos. 216 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,184 — In the mid 1800s, we were told 217 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,227 that any male member of our people 218 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,146 could be captured or killed 219 00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:46,440 if they didn't turn themselves in 220 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,442 to the US military. 221 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:51,945 — Kit Carson 222 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,865 did the Scorched Earth Campaign where they 223 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,992 didn't wanna waste their bullets. 224 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,369 You know, they would murder women and children 225 00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:01,622 and elders with the backs of their guns. 226 00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:04,249 That was to save bullets 227 00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:07,252 as they forcibly removed our people from their homelands. 228 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:13,258 — Using the same tactics that they used in the Civil War, 229 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,094 burn down homes, 230 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,387 burn down fields. 231 00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,975 — Go back into our history... 232 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:24,812 The Long Walk. 233 00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:30,567 We were taken to a concentration camp 234 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,402 in the southern part of New Mexico, 235 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:33,987 which is about a 400 mile walk. 236 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,073 Very, very cruel walk. 237 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,992 You know, there's stories of pregnant women who couldn't walk 238 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:42,412 were shot and left by the side of the road. 239 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,333 We were taken down to, 240 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,376 they called it Fort Sumner. 241 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,045 And we have our own name for it, 242 00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,839 which was Hwéeldi, 243 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,924 which means the place of suffering. 244 00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,595 And they say that they didn't give us even 245 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,264 anything to build shelter with. 246 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,474 So we were living in holes that we dug in the ground 247 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:04,143 with a blanket put over the top. 248 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,728 We were given government rations, 249 00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:08,939 and that was food that was completely foreign to us. 250 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,733 We didn't really know exactly what to do with it right away. 251 00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:13,610 We were trying to eat coffee beans like beans. 252 00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:16,780 And it was a time of, of great suffering 253 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,241 and a lot of our people perished. 254 00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,745 Initially, the plan was 255 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,706 out and out, you know, murder 256 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:28,959 like every single one of us was to be 257 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,210 exterminated, you know 258 00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:31,170 and that's what they say 259 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,337 about the whole continent, right, 260 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:35,257 that 9 out of 10 of the inhabitants were exterminated. 261 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,597 So, I don't really know at what point, 262 00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:42,848 like this conscience grew, 263 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,516 or I don't know if it was conscience 264 00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:46,727 or what, what was it that happened where, 265 00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:48,896 I mean, I guess what I'd like to think is that 266 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,772 it was our prayers and our ceremonies 267 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,483 that shifted just that, that place 268 00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:57,029 of just outright slaughter of every single Indigenous person 269 00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:01,116 to a place of, of wanting to negotiate. 270 00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:08,081 It was proposed that we sign a treaty 271 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:10,334 and in that treaty, 272 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:13,086 it said that we would send our children 273 00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,671 to their schools. 274 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:18,717 So this is when the, we shifted from just, 275 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:21,511 you know, outright genocide to 276 00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:23,347 Kill the Indian, Save the Man 277 00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:26,058 — that was the name of the campaign. 278 00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:49,289 So, they signed the treaty, you know, 279 00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:51,166 and then we were allowed to walk back 280 00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:54,628 400 miles again, a lot of people didn't make it there either. 281 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,966 And then when we got back home, our territory was greatly, greatly reduced. 282 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:07,266 — They estimate that our tribe was down to maybe 3,000 people. 283 00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:12,604 There's a historical photo that Edward Curtis had taken 284 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:13,981 in that time period 285 00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,441 and he titled it Vanishing Race 286 00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:20,153 because we were expected to go extinct. 287 00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:28,537 The way the reservation was designed, 288 00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:33,250 we were viewed as wards of the United States government, 289 00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:35,252 as prisoners of war, 290 00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:39,798 because we had been engaged in warfare against 291 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,300 the United States government. 292 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,678 The federal government says that we're sovereign, yet 293 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,014 all the land is held in trust. 294 00:21:47,764 --> 00:21:50,225 So we don't have ownership of the land. 295 00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:03,447 — In the 1930s, they did a... 296 00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:05,073 there's a program called the 297 00:22:05,073 --> 00:22:07,034 Navajo Livestock Reduction Program. 298 00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:11,496 My dad was just a child 299 00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:12,998 when they came through and they 300 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:16,168 slaughtered every single living animal. 301 00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:19,504 They were saying that we were overgrazing the land 302 00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:21,757 and that it was creating desertification. 303 00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:24,092 And as my dad recalls, you know, 304 00:22:24,092 --> 00:22:25,719 it's like we were self-sufficient, 305 00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:29,264 had everything that you need for our people. 306 00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:31,975 It wasn't necessary for them to work 307 00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:36,355 or to, you know, go off the reservation for anything 308 00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:40,734 and everything that they needed was there on the land. 309 00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:45,697 — It led to our people becoming impoverished 310 00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:49,534 in a sense that we hadn't ever known, 311 00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:54,122 because so much of what sustains our people as Diné 312 00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:57,209 comes from these beautiful creatures. 313 00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:01,963 — It's hard. It's not easy. 314 00:23:01,963 --> 00:23:04,049 There's no economy on the reservation. 315 00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:06,551 So, to survive and sustain, 316 00:23:06,593 --> 00:23:08,595 you know, especially with the prices of gas, 317 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,430 when you have to haul water. 318 00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:12,099 They really make it difficult 319 00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:15,685 for you to, to live and exist on the reservation. 320 00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:21,900 The way that they've designed it is for people to flee, to leave. 321 00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:25,779 And that's in the end, you know, the way 322 00:23:25,779 --> 00:23:30,700 of the United States government kind of finalizing the, 323 00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:33,829 the Indian wars and abolishing the reservations 324 00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:36,373 and terminating us as a people. 325 00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:47,759 — I felt like I was in another land, another country. 326 00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:50,554 I had worked with other cultures 327 00:23:50,554 --> 00:23:53,849 and this felt like a place other than 328 00:23:54,349 --> 00:23:56,101 anything I had ever seen. 329 00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:03,066 I knew that I wanted to go to work with an Indigenous people 330 00:24:03,066 --> 00:24:05,610 that was still living on their land. 331 00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:11,700 The trauma was everywhere. 332 00:24:14,744 --> 00:24:19,291 Here I was, inspired by Indigenous people and cultures, 333 00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:22,586 but in many ways, there was no sign of that. 334 00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:25,130 There were only the signs of 335 00:24:25,881 --> 00:24:28,508 generations of trauma. 336 00:24:31,678 --> 00:24:35,307 I didn't come there because I felt sorry for them. 337 00:24:35,515 --> 00:24:37,476 That wasn't what called me. 338 00:24:38,185 --> 00:24:41,354 What called me was my admiration 339 00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:44,691 for what I had learned about these people, 340 00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:50,864 and yet here, what I was encountering was so much lost, 341 00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:56,453 so much being passed on in the way of pain and hurt. 342 00:25:03,460 --> 00:25:04,461 — Shake my hand. 343 00:25:04,544 --> 00:25:05,545 There you go. 344 00:25:23,813 --> 00:25:27,192 — Our people have really gone through 345 00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:29,528 so many historical afflictions. 346 00:25:29,569 --> 00:25:34,407 You have the influenza, the tuberculosis. 347 00:25:34,908 --> 00:25:40,539 You have the the land dispute that forced 348 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:43,750 families away from their homelands. 349 00:25:46,002 --> 00:25:49,214 You have the, the boarding school era. 350 00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:55,470 — Any native child you saw, 351 00:25:55,470 --> 00:25:57,055 anybody could pretty much just grab them 352 00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:59,641 and say, "Hey, you gotta go to one of these schools." 353 00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:04,229 That was the law. 354 00:26:07,107 --> 00:26:09,401 — We were sent everywhere, 355 00:26:09,442 --> 00:26:13,655 California, Utah, Washington. 356 00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:17,450 — I went to Leupp boarding school. 357 00:26:17,492 --> 00:26:20,078 I was six years old. 358 00:26:21,162 --> 00:26:22,581 When we walked in, 359 00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:25,584 I was clinging onto, hanging onto my mom's skirt, 360 00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:28,753 and I said, you guys aren't gonna leave me here, you know? 361 00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:32,465 And she says, yeah, we'll come back for you. 362 00:26:33,550 --> 00:26:35,176 But they didn't. 363 00:26:35,218 --> 00:26:36,469 I remember that night, 364 00:26:36,511 --> 00:26:40,557 just little girls crying like, "my mom, my dad." 365 00:26:41,808 --> 00:26:45,854 I think that was the very first time that we were ever away from home. 366 00:26:47,647 --> 00:26:50,775 — They came to my house, they took me away from my parents. 367 00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,486 I fought to get away. 368 00:26:53,695 --> 00:26:55,655 As much as I could, I fought, 369 00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:58,241 trying to get out of their grip. 370 00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:00,910 I couldn't do it. 371 00:27:01,077 --> 00:27:02,203 I fought, I fought 372 00:27:02,203 --> 00:27:05,957 until I was locked up in a room for two days, 373 00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:11,212 and then I gave in. 374 00:27:14,049 --> 00:27:17,218 — When I got to five years old, they took me to 375 00:27:17,969 --> 00:27:20,972 Leupp boarding school 376 00:27:21,389 --> 00:27:24,351 and they separated me from my grandmother, 377 00:27:25,143 --> 00:27:28,355 put you in school and cut your hair. 378 00:27:29,689 --> 00:27:32,442 — They were told to take away our, 379 00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:35,570 our culture, our way of life. 380 00:27:35,820 --> 00:27:38,907 — We have the Navajo, as we find him in the desert, 381 00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:42,535 yet, through the agencies of the government, 382 00:27:42,744 --> 00:27:47,040 they are being rapidly brought from their state of comparative 383 00:27:47,082 --> 00:27:50,877 savagery and barbarism to one of civilization. 384 00:28:02,806 --> 00:28:04,599 — When we first went into 385 00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:06,393 the boarding school, 386 00:28:07,227 --> 00:28:08,978 we didn't talk English. 387 00:28:09,562 --> 00:28:11,147 We only talked Navajo. 388 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:15,276 — My voice was Diné, 389 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,654 my language was Diné, 390 00:28:23,451 --> 00:28:29,249 — Their goal was to make our own culture so repulsive to us 391 00:28:29,749 --> 00:28:32,127 that we would never think about going back. 392 00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:36,339 Any part of the way that they acted, 393 00:28:36,339 --> 00:28:39,342 that could be construed as being Diné 394 00:28:39,384 --> 00:28:42,262 was ridiculed and shamed. 395 00:28:44,180 --> 00:28:47,100 — We were really penalized 396 00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:49,769 when we talked Navajo. 397 00:28:50,103 --> 00:28:54,858 We were, we had to be, they'd tell us to eat soap. 398 00:28:55,233 --> 00:28:56,276 We were spanked, 399 00:28:57,485 --> 00:28:59,154 they would pull our hair. 400 00:28:59,237 --> 00:29:00,864 They really abused us, you know 401 00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:02,866 in different ways. 402 00:29:05,285 --> 00:29:07,454 — They had a board in the office, 403 00:29:08,204 --> 00:29:11,040 and it's called Board of Education. 404 00:29:11,499 --> 00:29:15,879 That thing was that long, that wide, and you got a spanking, 405 00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:20,091 and you could just close your eyes and ears 406 00:29:20,133 --> 00:29:23,219 and hear the screaming of the girls. 407 00:29:28,224 --> 00:29:30,727 I was ashamed of who I was. 408 00:29:31,144 --> 00:29:34,481 I was ashamed about, 409 00:29:34,564 --> 00:29:36,733 you know, being Indian, I guess. 410 00:29:39,027 --> 00:29:41,780 — The sexual abuse, the physical abuse, 411 00:29:41,821 --> 00:29:45,408 such a violent process of trying to separate 412 00:29:46,159 --> 00:29:50,163 and ensure that the parents had no influence on their children. 413 00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:53,333 That none of the language was gonna be passed on, 414 00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:55,210 none of the ceremonies, all of that. 415 00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:57,545 They were trying to break that connection. 416 00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:04,844 — This is someplace where church and state 417 00:30:04,886 --> 00:30:07,347 really came together to cooperate 418 00:30:07,347 --> 00:30:10,683 and collaborate on kidnapping these children. 419 00:30:14,395 --> 00:30:18,358 — Every Wednesday and every Sunday we had church services. 420 00:30:18,733 --> 00:30:21,444 We were mandatory to go to those services. 421 00:30:21,986 --> 00:30:26,199 So we can forget our traditional ceremonies 422 00:30:26,199 --> 00:30:27,492 or traditional culture. 423 00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:32,580 — We weren't allowed to be kids. 424 00:30:33,206 --> 00:30:36,125 I think our childhood was severed. 425 00:30:36,751 --> 00:30:38,253 That's the way I felt. 426 00:30:39,003 --> 00:30:41,256 And to this day, I still feel the, 427 00:30:41,381 --> 00:30:44,133 the pain of boarding school, 428 00:30:44,133 --> 00:30:45,134 what has happened. 429 00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:05,613 — God is in our midst no matter what. 430 00:31:05,905 --> 00:31:08,199 You know, that's one, one thing that 431 00:31:08,658 --> 00:31:11,661 no one can take away from us. 432 00:31:12,412 --> 00:31:14,873 No trouble, no hardship, 433 00:31:15,248 --> 00:31:20,336 no problems of this world can overcast and 434 00:31:20,545 --> 00:31:23,673 override the biblical fact 435 00:31:23,673 --> 00:31:25,925 that God is with us. 436 00:31:30,638 --> 00:31:34,183 — I consider myself raised traditionally. 437 00:31:36,769 --> 00:31:39,188 I would ask questions and I'd say, 438 00:31:39,314 --> 00:31:40,940 "Why are you guys doing this?" 439 00:31:41,065 --> 00:31:42,775 "How come you don't allow the kids over there?" 440 00:31:42,859 --> 00:31:44,652 "The hogan's where the ceremony is happening." 441 00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:48,448 So, a lot of it was not answered. 442 00:31:48,948 --> 00:31:52,327 So somewhere along the way, I just came to my own conclusions: 443 00:31:52,493 --> 00:31:54,913 Okay, that's not for me. That's not for me. 444 00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:01,920 So, by the time I met my husband, 445 00:32:02,211 --> 00:32:06,007 he was the one that turned to Christianity 446 00:32:07,175 --> 00:32:10,053 and I was kind of like caught in the middle. 447 00:32:10,094 --> 00:32:12,847 You know, I have my whole family here that's traditional 448 00:32:12,847 --> 00:32:15,642 Then I have my husband just by himself over here. 449 00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:19,520 So, and then it was kind of creating conflicts between us. 450 00:32:22,649 --> 00:32:25,151 Finally, I just had to think, 451 00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:27,111 I'm gonna go with my husband. 452 00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:31,199 My family was kind of like 453 00:32:31,449 --> 00:32:32,909 "you betrayed us." 454 00:32:33,076 --> 00:32:35,370 You know, like, you're turning against us. 455 00:32:36,037 --> 00:32:38,247 And it's like, no, it's not like that. 456 00:32:38,247 --> 00:32:39,624 It's not like that. 457 00:32:43,127 --> 00:32:44,337 — Of my siblings, 458 00:32:44,379 --> 00:32:47,882 I was the first to attend church with my dad. 459 00:32:49,342 --> 00:32:54,180 It presented in a sense of spiritual inquiry of 460 00:32:54,222 --> 00:32:55,974 where do we come from? 461 00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:58,559 Where am I going? 462 00:33:00,603 --> 00:33:05,400 And then you have the traditional side 463 00:33:05,441 --> 00:33:08,528 where you already knew the answer to that. 464 00:33:12,031 --> 00:33:13,866 It was a beautiful blend 465 00:33:13,908 --> 00:33:17,537 because they shared morals, 466 00:33:18,121 --> 00:33:22,166 they shared values. 467 00:33:24,210 --> 00:33:28,548 My faith really just reinforced 468 00:33:29,716 --> 00:33:34,095 my identity, my cultural identity. 469 00:33:36,639 --> 00:33:39,350 — I was raised in the Dutch Christian Reformed Church myself, 470 00:33:39,517 --> 00:33:42,103 and then when I finally decided to leave it, 471 00:33:42,270 --> 00:33:44,230 when I got sent to East Coast boarding school, 472 00:33:44,230 --> 00:33:45,648 and I realized nobody was watching, 473 00:33:45,648 --> 00:33:47,942 nobody knew if I was at church or not, 474 00:33:48,276 --> 00:33:49,861 you know, it was terrifying. 475 00:33:50,319 --> 00:33:53,072 It was terrifying to not go to church. 476 00:33:53,239 --> 00:33:56,743 I mean, I had deeply instilled in me the fear of hell 477 00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:57,994 and damnation, you know? 478 00:33:59,328 --> 00:34:02,790 So it was, it was a very big move and moment for me. 479 00:34:08,755 --> 00:34:12,383 There's a lot of judgment among Indigenous peoples around, 480 00:34:12,633 --> 00:34:14,427 you know, why would you be Christian? 481 00:34:14,552 --> 00:34:17,638 You know? But I think, you know, as a small child 482 00:34:18,639 --> 00:34:20,558 being torn out of your family, 483 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,227 being torn away from your grandparents, being stripped 484 00:34:23,227 --> 00:34:26,230 of all the beautiful things that they made to adorn you 485 00:34:26,230 --> 00:34:28,649 because they loved you, and having those just be stripped 486 00:34:28,649 --> 00:34:30,610 and thrown in the fire in front of your eyes. 487 00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:35,073 If you decide to hold onto Jesus, that's all right with me. 488 00:34:37,241 --> 00:34:38,659 That's all right with me. 489 00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:43,706 Whatever you need to do, you know, whatever you need to do. 490 00:34:49,545 --> 00:34:50,922 — I feel love 491 00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:54,383 and I feel... hope 492 00:34:54,801 --> 00:34:56,052 when people pray. 493 00:34:58,679 --> 00:35:01,474 If people are praying and, 494 00:35:01,516 --> 00:35:03,518 and looking for their spiritual self 495 00:35:03,893 --> 00:35:06,062 out of a place that is 496 00:35:06,437 --> 00:35:07,522 of goodness 497 00:35:08,356 --> 00:35:09,607 and kindness, 498 00:35:10,149 --> 00:35:11,192 compassion 499 00:35:11,567 --> 00:35:12,568 and love, 500 00:35:13,861 --> 00:35:15,363 then that prayer 501 00:35:15,488 --> 00:35:17,490 can be said in any language. 502 00:35:17,907 --> 00:35:19,617 It could be said from a book, 503 00:35:19,826 --> 00:35:21,744 it could be said from the heart. 504 00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:24,831 It could be said from your ancestral wisdom. 505 00:35:26,916 --> 00:35:29,127 But I don't feel any animosity. 506 00:35:32,463 --> 00:35:35,091 The only time that I felt grief or loss 507 00:35:35,341 --> 00:35:37,927 or pain from 508 00:35:38,386 --> 00:35:40,471 organized religions 509 00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:42,265 is when 510 00:35:42,932 --> 00:35:46,018 we're hated as traditional people. 511 00:35:46,686 --> 00:35:50,982 When we're misconstrued as being something that is evil. 512 00:35:58,447 --> 00:35:59,574 — My grandmother 513 00:35:59,615 --> 00:36:01,367 my understanding was that 514 00:36:01,367 --> 00:36:04,453 she was the one who was home when the missionaries came, 515 00:36:04,453 --> 00:36:06,164 and her siblings were not home. 516 00:36:06,372 --> 00:36:08,249 So she was the only one that was taken 517 00:36:08,457 --> 00:36:09,709 from her family 518 00:36:09,917 --> 00:36:13,296 and her siblings all remained traditional Diné. 519 00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:18,342 Her version of Christianity was to not 520 00:36:18,342 --> 00:36:20,303 denigrate the people around her. 521 00:36:23,931 --> 00:36:26,559 When we used to go visit her traditional sister, 522 00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:28,644 they would just weep when they saw each other 523 00:36:28,936 --> 00:36:31,939 with just joy and such a deep feeling. 524 00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:35,026 That was a totally foreign world to me, 525 00:36:35,067 --> 00:36:38,279 a very traditional woman living in a traditional circumstance. 526 00:36:39,739 --> 00:36:41,532 I didn't know anything about it, 527 00:36:41,574 --> 00:36:43,367 and I didn't know what to do there 528 00:36:43,743 --> 00:36:45,620 and it caused problems, 529 00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:51,417 because in Diné way, there is a way to do absolutely everything. 530 00:36:51,792 --> 00:36:53,878 Like there's a way to do it, you know, 531 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:55,213 and I had no idea. 532 00:36:58,007 --> 00:37:00,718 I didn't understand the foods that we ate. 533 00:37:01,260 --> 00:37:05,848 And I rejected them and that was a huge problem. 534 00:37:08,142 --> 00:37:12,271 So, eventually, what happened on those visits was I got to sit in the corner 535 00:37:12,647 --> 00:37:14,982 with a thermos of milk and some crackers. 536 00:37:15,024 --> 00:37:17,318 Like, you just sit over here while we, 537 00:37:17,818 --> 00:37:20,446 basically I think the way I interpret is, while we be Diné 538 00:37:20,738 --> 00:37:23,741 because you're not one of us and you're never gonna be one of us. 539 00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:29,080 And that message, that went so deep, so, so deep. 540 00:37:29,330 --> 00:37:31,958 And somewhere along the way, when I was very young, I thought 541 00:37:31,999 --> 00:37:34,043 If I ever have a chance to avoid my people, 542 00:37:34,210 --> 00:37:38,172 I'm gonna avoid my people because it's rough, man. It's mean. 543 00:37:39,298 --> 00:37:40,883 My father ended up, you know, 544 00:37:40,883 --> 00:37:43,010 working on his PhD at Stanford University. 545 00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:45,596 My brother went to Stanford, even carried on 546 00:37:45,596 --> 00:37:48,224 to my daughter going to Stanford, my niece and nephew. 547 00:37:48,641 --> 00:37:51,978 Many of my relatives are very highly educated in 548 00:37:52,061 --> 00:37:54,105 you know, American school systems. 549 00:37:54,438 --> 00:37:56,941 My father's full blood Diné, my mother's full blood Diné, 550 00:37:57,149 --> 00:38:00,361 I'm as native as you can be blood wise, right? 551 00:38:00,820 --> 00:38:03,489 But I was sent into American school systems. 552 00:38:04,073 --> 00:38:06,200 So, I have the mannerisms of 553 00:38:06,242 --> 00:38:08,369 basically rich, white, educated people. 554 00:38:10,037 --> 00:38:13,374 That's when the light bulb finally went on and I went, wait a second. 555 00:38:14,166 --> 00:38:18,587 If I'm not native, you know, then who is? 556 00:38:20,047 --> 00:38:23,134 The events of history led to me being here like this. 557 00:38:23,551 --> 00:38:27,221 So, I accept this place but 558 00:38:30,725 --> 00:38:32,810 there's been a cost, let's just say 559 00:38:33,269 --> 00:38:34,854 for me to sit here like this. 560 00:38:46,782 --> 00:38:51,329 — Intergenerational trauma, to me, 561 00:38:51,370 --> 00:38:55,708 we can understand or interpret it in the English language, 562 00:38:55,958 --> 00:39:00,046 but in the Navajo language, 563 00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:03,341 the one thing that I can possibly 564 00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:06,302 describe 565 00:39:06,677 --> 00:39:08,929 back into English from mine: 566 00:39:09,972 --> 00:39:12,600 sorrow and hurt. 567 00:39:14,393 --> 00:39:18,356 — We were never allowed a time to heal 568 00:39:18,814 --> 00:39:23,235 because year, decade after decade after decade after decade, 569 00:39:24,904 --> 00:39:26,405 our people were 570 00:39:27,490 --> 00:39:29,408 affected by something new 571 00:39:29,658 --> 00:39:31,952 and so, as spiritual people, 572 00:39:32,828 --> 00:39:37,291 what does our lives require? a time of healing. 573 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,418 But that never happened. 574 00:39:40,169 --> 00:39:43,339 And so what happens to our physiological self? 575 00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:48,552 Well, then the cells in our body, because they don't heal, 576 00:39:49,136 --> 00:39:51,972 they carry that burden. 577 00:39:53,432 --> 00:39:55,309 — So you saw a lot of 578 00:39:56,102 --> 00:39:58,062 problems with alcoholism. 579 00:39:59,271 --> 00:40:01,649 My children were learning Navajo 580 00:40:02,066 --> 00:40:05,444 and my daughter asked me one day, 581 00:40:05,444 --> 00:40:09,865 "Mom, what are the earliest words you remember in your childhood?" 582 00:40:10,783 --> 00:40:15,788 And instantly, instantly my mind, 583 00:40:15,830 --> 00:40:20,626 the term Nayila popped up. 584 00:40:20,918 --> 00:40:22,378 It was like instant. 585 00:40:23,587 --> 00:40:27,967 I was like, of all the words in our Navajo vocabulary, 586 00:40:28,092 --> 00:40:32,221 why did the word "passed out" come to mind? 587 00:40:34,932 --> 00:40:38,602 As a child, I remember going to town 588 00:40:41,021 --> 00:40:42,606 in the back of the pickup truck. 589 00:40:44,984 --> 00:40:48,362 As we would drive to town, in the back, 590 00:40:48,779 --> 00:40:50,781 there were liquor bottles 591 00:40:51,407 --> 00:40:54,076 set up along the roadside. 592 00:40:54,577 --> 00:40:56,162 And then you get to town 593 00:40:56,787 --> 00:40:59,874 and you see those same bottles being carried 594 00:41:00,249 --> 00:41:01,750 by our people. 595 00:41:04,044 --> 00:41:07,381 We had family members walking the alleys 596 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:09,592 and you'd have to 597 00:41:11,385 --> 00:41:12,470 beg them, 598 00:41:14,054 --> 00:41:15,306 "Get in the truck" 599 00:41:16,599 --> 00:41:17,933 "let's go home." 600 00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:26,525 We are in an era of 601 00:41:27,151 --> 00:41:29,195 escalated problems 602 00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:31,030 with substance abuse. 603 00:41:32,364 --> 00:41:35,743 It has gone beyond alcoholism. 604 00:41:36,535 --> 00:41:41,207 It has now gone into the use of 605 00:41:42,625 --> 00:41:44,251 dangerous drugs. 606 00:41:58,307 --> 00:42:01,519 — I went pretty deep into alcohol and drug use. 607 00:42:01,727 --> 00:42:04,104 I was using hard alcohol when I was 11 years old. 608 00:42:04,313 --> 00:42:06,524 I mean, I look at 11-year-olds now, and I think about 609 00:42:06,649 --> 00:42:10,569 trying to picture them drinking 151 Bacardi like I was when I was 11. 610 00:42:10,569 --> 00:42:12,488 And I'm just like, wow. 611 00:42:14,865 --> 00:42:17,034 Poor dear one, like, 612 00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:19,495 wow, you know? 613 00:42:21,121 --> 00:42:24,250 And that, that was a godsend to me at that time. 614 00:42:24,250 --> 00:42:26,418 I'll just never forget the relief of 615 00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:30,047 feeling that feeling coming on and just being like, oh, thank God, 616 00:42:30,381 --> 00:42:33,050 there's some kind of way to make it just stop. 617 00:42:34,802 --> 00:42:39,640 I overdosed twice in two weeks when I was 16, 618 00:42:40,975 --> 00:42:44,061 on Quaalude and Southern Comfort, I think it was. 619 00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:49,233 So later, I came to a crisis point. 620 00:42:49,275 --> 00:42:51,777 I had two, three small children 621 00:42:52,152 --> 00:42:54,822 and I realized I was gonna self-destruct right in front of them, 622 00:42:54,863 --> 00:42:58,033 and I had had other elders around me, self-destruct, 623 00:42:58,367 --> 00:43:01,120 and it's very confusing to watch that happen. 624 00:43:03,789 --> 00:43:05,457 And I thought, I can't. 625 00:43:05,457 --> 00:43:07,001 I can't do that in front of these kids. 626 00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:09,878 So, you know, I called out to something. 627 00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:13,674 I didn't know what I was calling out to. 628 00:43:13,966 --> 00:43:16,427 I was very ashamed for 629 00:43:17,219 --> 00:43:18,721 resorting to that, 630 00:43:19,346 --> 00:43:22,182 but I did it because I love my kids, 631 00:43:23,017 --> 00:43:25,144 and I just said, if there's anything out there, 632 00:43:25,185 --> 00:43:27,396 I'm telling you I could use some help right now 633 00:43:27,438 --> 00:43:29,315 because if I don't get some kind of help, 634 00:43:29,523 --> 00:43:31,275 I don't think I'm gonna make it. 635 00:43:32,026 --> 00:43:34,862 And what came back to me was 636 00:43:35,070 --> 00:43:37,865 getting invited to my first native ceremony, 637 00:43:38,032 --> 00:43:40,034 and it was a Lakota ceremony, 638 00:43:40,659 --> 00:43:42,703 and I got invited into my first 639 00:43:42,703 --> 00:43:44,872 sweat lodge ceremony. 640 00:43:52,713 --> 00:43:56,717 There is no deeper resetting of the nervous system 641 00:43:57,384 --> 00:44:00,846 than being in that ceremony or being in any of our ceremonies. 642 00:44:02,723 --> 00:44:05,976 It pushes the mind all the way to the back of the line 643 00:44:06,226 --> 00:44:10,606 and what comes forward first is the body, because of the heat, 644 00:44:11,106 --> 00:44:13,067 but then the emotions, 645 00:44:13,067 --> 00:44:14,902 then the spirit. 646 00:44:16,528 --> 00:44:18,364 I was screaming and 647 00:44:18,447 --> 00:44:20,449 crying and clawing the earth in there 648 00:44:20,532 --> 00:44:24,912 to try to get rid of whatever it was, 649 00:44:24,912 --> 00:44:27,915 you know, that was, that was in me. 650 00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:35,339 I was reconnected to 651 00:44:36,423 --> 00:44:37,841 this Mother Earth, 652 00:44:39,385 --> 00:44:41,595 and I was reconnected to 653 00:44:42,763 --> 00:44:44,181 spiritual help. 654 00:44:47,434 --> 00:44:48,519 One of my elders says, 655 00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:53,190 "You were born into beauty, as beauty, for joyful life. That's the truth. " 656 00:44:53,399 --> 00:44:56,110 So, to start from that origin 657 00:44:56,902 --> 00:45:01,115 is a place of great strength for me 658 00:45:03,033 --> 00:45:05,119 and a fountain to, to heal from. 659 00:45:15,295 --> 00:45:16,338 — When you look at 660 00:45:16,714 --> 00:45:20,175 the whole process, a community is coming together, 661 00:45:20,384 --> 00:45:24,555 there's medicine, herbs, there's sometimes sand paintings. 662 00:45:25,055 --> 00:45:31,270 There's a whole reset of mental, physical, and spiritual being and 663 00:45:31,437 --> 00:45:34,314 your community is there to support you, 664 00:45:34,565 --> 00:45:38,026 where in Western ways you go into isolation, 665 00:45:38,026 --> 00:45:40,988 you go into a hospital, you're very alone in that process. 666 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:45,576 The patients, they're processing the trauma or whatever occurred 667 00:45:45,826 --> 00:45:47,828 but then addressing it and thinking of it 668 00:45:47,828 --> 00:45:50,664 in a more positive, hopeful way. 669 00:45:50,831 --> 00:45:52,166 So that they will, 670 00:45:52,666 --> 00:45:54,501 you know, they see themselves recovering, 671 00:45:54,543 --> 00:45:56,795 yhey see themselves getting well or healing, 672 00:45:57,087 --> 00:45:59,214 and they see that support from loved ones. 673 00:46:00,549 --> 00:46:04,219 My father, who's traditional Hatááłii is what we refer to them, 674 00:46:04,261 --> 00:46:06,138 or medicine practitioners, 675 00:46:11,101 --> 00:46:13,228 My dad actually got to work in a hospital 676 00:46:13,228 --> 00:46:14,938 using our traditional medicine. 677 00:46:15,898 --> 00:46:19,026 It took a long time to kind of get to that place of recognition. 678 00:46:19,401 --> 00:46:23,530 It was supposed to be just a very short period just 679 00:46:23,530 --> 00:46:26,450 to test it out, a trial for six months. 680 00:46:26,658 --> 00:46:29,203 And they kept renewing it because it was so successful. 681 00:46:30,579 --> 00:46:34,082 There were so many cases where they'd call him in, they'd be like, 682 00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:37,211 Our patient didn't return, What did you do to them? 683 00:46:37,461 --> 00:46:39,046 And the patient would say, 684 00:46:39,379 --> 00:46:42,925 after 30 years of taking your medications, I never got well 685 00:46:42,925 --> 00:46:44,802 but a cultural practitioner, 686 00:46:45,052 --> 00:46:46,887 he actually fixed me and healed me 687 00:46:46,887 --> 00:46:48,430 and I don't need your medication. 688 00:46:50,599 --> 00:46:52,309 Our ceremonies, our culture, 689 00:46:52,392 --> 00:46:54,937 the teachings that we receive from the holy ones 690 00:46:55,062 --> 00:46:56,104 are just 691 00:46:56,438 --> 00:46:58,398 a way to communicate with the Earth. 692 00:46:59,274 --> 00:47:01,485 The things that the Earth is affected by, 693 00:47:01,568 --> 00:47:03,946 all those things, also affect us, so 694 00:47:04,196 --> 00:47:07,866 in order to heal those things, the Earth 695 00:47:08,283 --> 00:47:10,452 has always had remedies for us. 696 00:47:12,079 --> 00:47:14,540 The Earth, this is our pharmacy. 697 00:47:15,707 --> 00:47:19,044 My dad, he does diagnostics 698 00:47:20,546 --> 00:47:25,217 my sister as well, and there's different methods that we use. 699 00:47:28,554 --> 00:47:31,181 — I started learning traditional medicine 700 00:47:31,473 --> 00:47:33,433 and our traditional sciences. 701 00:47:33,976 --> 00:47:36,770 There was no direct education or school. 702 00:47:36,895 --> 00:47:38,897 It was just, it is. 703 00:47:40,607 --> 00:47:46,363 Understanding that sacred relationship between plant, mineral, animal, 704 00:47:46,488 --> 00:47:49,366 water, sky, and human 705 00:47:50,075 --> 00:47:51,952 is just like breathing. 706 00:47:56,623 --> 00:47:59,001 My daughters are learning traditional medicine. 707 00:48:01,211 --> 00:48:05,215 Being a mom, and understanding traditional medicine, 708 00:48:05,340 --> 00:48:08,677 my role is to support them 709 00:48:09,261 --> 00:48:12,014 so they feel comfortable, confident, 710 00:48:12,222 --> 00:48:15,350 and empowered to continue 711 00:48:15,392 --> 00:48:18,604 to utilize traditional medicine, 712 00:48:18,812 --> 00:48:23,567 to have it be as natural as breathing for them as well. 713 00:48:24,234 --> 00:48:25,611 — You wanna take a sprig of it. 714 00:48:26,194 --> 00:48:29,489 Take a piece of it, but don't take the root, 715 00:48:29,615 --> 00:48:33,368 because the root needs to continue to grow. 716 00:48:36,455 --> 00:48:39,917 In our traditional Diné perspective, 717 00:48:39,958 --> 00:48:42,336 illness is a disharmony. 718 00:48:42,377 --> 00:48:45,547 It's a dis-ease, not a disease. 719 00:48:45,839 --> 00:48:48,467 Dis-ease that exists. 720 00:48:49,384 --> 00:48:53,555 We don't treat the symptoms, we go to the root cause 721 00:48:54,348 --> 00:48:58,936 and then we look for a path forward towards healing. 722 00:49:01,313 --> 00:49:04,024 — Being a traditional practitioner is not an easy road, 723 00:49:05,609 --> 00:49:07,110 but it's a beautiful road 724 00:49:07,110 --> 00:49:09,488 because it means that you get to help people. 725 00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,449 You get to see families be whole. 726 00:49:14,242 --> 00:49:15,243 And that's, 727 00:49:16,536 --> 00:49:17,663 that's a gift. 728 00:49:22,584 --> 00:49:24,628 — There's so much knowledge 729 00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:27,422 and wisdom that come from our elders 730 00:49:27,589 --> 00:49:29,091 in those, those teachings. 731 00:49:30,676 --> 00:49:32,344 Every time we lose an elder, 732 00:49:32,886 --> 00:49:34,888 it's like a library is just, 733 00:49:35,263 --> 00:49:37,975 you know, just erased from our people. 734 00:49:52,781 --> 00:49:55,784 — Little Singer was my great-grandfather. 735 00:49:57,911 --> 00:50:00,455 I was an infant when he passed, 736 00:50:01,790 --> 00:50:03,208 so I never knew him. 737 00:50:04,459 --> 00:50:06,586 I knew him through stories. 738 00:50:15,512 --> 00:50:16,555 — Oh man. 739 00:50:21,476 --> 00:50:24,396 — She is saying he used to sit around when he was free, 740 00:50:24,813 --> 00:50:27,399 when he didn't have like any ceremony schedule, 741 00:50:27,691 --> 00:50:31,111 he would be home and he would sit there. 742 00:50:31,319 --> 00:50:34,156 "Come on, you, let me teach you how to sing." 743 00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:36,575 "Let me teach you this, let me teach you that." 744 00:50:37,075 --> 00:50:38,994 But they just were too busy. 745 00:50:39,161 --> 00:50:41,872 They didn't really, nobody really took the time 746 00:50:41,872 --> 00:50:44,332 to actually listen to him. 747 00:50:44,624 --> 00:50:46,918 But he sat there, "Let me teach you this." 748 00:50:47,127 --> 00:50:48,628 "Let me teach you how to sing." 749 00:50:48,754 --> 00:50:52,382 The horse song, the sheep song, all of these songs. 750 00:50:56,344 --> 00:51:00,223 — During that blizzard of, what was it, '69? 751 00:51:00,474 --> 00:51:02,392 When my uncle got lost. 752 00:51:03,935 --> 00:51:09,191 So he went to round up the sheep on horseback and 753 00:51:09,608 --> 00:51:13,236 he lost his sense of direction because there was snow everywhere. 754 00:51:15,322 --> 00:51:17,449 Visibility was zero. 755 00:51:19,409 --> 00:51:23,288 And so instead of heading home, he just started heading the other way. 756 00:51:23,830 --> 00:51:27,417 It was getting dark and my grandmother was getting worried. 757 00:51:27,584 --> 00:51:30,754 And then Little Singer was just sitting there like, 758 00:51:30,796 --> 00:51:33,256 "he'll be back," you know? 759 00:51:37,511 --> 00:51:38,762 was kind of getting impatient, 760 00:51:38,762 --> 00:51:40,639 was getting after my grandpa. 761 00:51:40,639 --> 00:51:44,810 So, then my grandpa says, "Okay, get me a basket." 762 00:51:44,851 --> 00:51:48,522 And so they gave, they got him a big wedding basket, like, 763 00:51:48,647 --> 00:51:50,315 you know this big, and 764 00:51:50,357 --> 00:51:53,110 if you look at the wedding basket, there's an opening. 765 00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:57,030 You're supposed to always put that basket to the east. 766 00:51:59,866 --> 00:52:01,535 And then he said, "Go to his house 767 00:52:01,618 --> 00:52:05,747 and get the clothes that he changed, you know, out of." 768 00:52:05,872 --> 00:52:07,541 And he put it in the basket, 769 00:52:07,999 --> 00:52:09,501 and he started chanting. 770 00:52:10,460 --> 00:52:13,171 When he went so far, he would move the, 771 00:52:13,213 --> 00:52:16,133 the basket like a quarter, then he would, you know, 772 00:52:16,133 --> 00:52:17,259 start chanting again. 773 00:52:17,509 --> 00:52:19,803 And then he would turn it again. 774 00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:24,850 When he got the basket all the way around, facing back 775 00:52:24,850 --> 00:52:28,186 to the east, when he finished his chant, guess what? 776 00:52:28,645 --> 00:52:30,272 He comes walking in. 777 00:52:30,981 --> 00:52:34,860 He had frostbites on his fingers, his toes, 778 00:52:34,985 --> 00:52:36,695 and he was just cold. 779 00:52:37,112 --> 00:52:39,531 And so we asked him, "how did you come home?" 780 00:52:40,157 --> 00:52:41,950 He said, "I saw a light." 781 00:52:43,743 --> 00:52:46,788 "Four times," he said, "There was a light way over there." 782 00:52:46,830 --> 00:52:48,248 "I got to that light." 783 00:52:48,540 --> 00:52:51,376 "And when I got there," he says, 784 00:52:51,376 --> 00:52:53,086 "the light would move this way again." 785 00:52:53,503 --> 00:52:56,590 "And then I'd get to that light again. It would move again." 786 00:52:57,257 --> 00:52:59,926 "The fourth light led me home," he said. 787 00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:02,929 That I will never understand. 788 00:53:02,971 --> 00:53:06,975 I was like, wow, that overwhelms me to this day. 789 00:53:07,058 --> 00:53:11,313 Like how, just by his chance did he lead, you know, 790 00:53:11,354 --> 00:53:12,772 lead him home? 791 00:53:13,982 --> 00:53:15,567 All his grandchildren, 792 00:53:15,567 --> 00:53:17,944 they all were, you know, hauled to the boarding school. 793 00:53:18,486 --> 00:53:20,572 So he found himself 794 00:53:20,947 --> 00:53:24,117 alone with my grandmother. 795 00:53:25,202 --> 00:53:28,371 And so that's where a lot of this, you know, 796 00:53:28,371 --> 00:53:30,540 like bring the children home, you know, 797 00:53:30,790 --> 00:53:32,542 I need to hear the laughter. 798 00:53:32,626 --> 00:53:34,961 I need to communicate with my grandchildren. 799 00:53:35,253 --> 00:53:37,589 I want to be able to tell stories. 800 00:53:37,881 --> 00:53:40,342 I want to be able to share what I have, 801 00:53:40,425 --> 00:53:43,428 the songs, the prayers, I want them here. 802 00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:16,086 — The medicine man and the community, 803 00:54:16,127 --> 00:54:19,256 their first goal was to bring their children home. 804 00:54:22,968 --> 00:54:25,512 And because of that, the community said, 805 00:54:25,595 --> 00:54:27,973 let's start our own school here 806 00:54:28,181 --> 00:54:30,225 so we can hear them again 807 00:54:30,475 --> 00:54:33,478 when they come back from school that same day. 808 00:54:50,287 --> 00:54:51,413 — His school, 809 00:54:51,746 --> 00:54:56,418 it was a school built on the hope that children 810 00:54:57,252 --> 00:55:01,506 would never lose sight of who they are. 811 00:55:21,901 --> 00:55:24,529 At that time, this was just a desert in here. 812 00:55:24,696 --> 00:55:29,993 There's nothing, just... Little Singers' little hogan was the only one sitting here. 813 00:55:32,579 --> 00:55:37,334 — I was working here when the school first opened the door, 814 00:55:38,918 --> 00:55:43,465 and we had 23 students that came on bicycle 815 00:55:43,465 --> 00:55:45,383 that came running, 816 00:55:46,968 --> 00:55:48,595 that came on horseback. 817 00:55:53,516 --> 00:55:55,477 You were overwhelmed with excitement. 818 00:55:55,477 --> 00:55:58,271 Like, wow, this is actually happening, you know, 819 00:55:58,396 --> 00:56:01,900 out here where there's no electricity and no running water. 820 00:56:01,941 --> 00:56:03,318 And here we are. 821 00:56:09,657 --> 00:56:11,534 — So Little Singer was 822 00:56:11,951 --> 00:56:15,288 committed to bringing the culture back to the children 823 00:56:15,538 --> 00:56:17,248 and to have them 824 00:56:17,999 --> 00:56:20,585 planted well in the culture. 825 00:56:21,002 --> 00:56:24,339 Their teaching staff are Navajo, 826 00:56:25,006 --> 00:56:27,425 their bus drivers, their cooks, 827 00:56:28,009 --> 00:56:31,304 their coaches, they're Navajo. 828 00:56:31,679 --> 00:56:37,185 And so when there is that common ground in identity, 829 00:56:37,477 --> 00:56:41,815 these children already know who they are, who they belong to. 830 00:56:45,944 --> 00:56:49,531 — I am the principal here at Little Singer Community School. 831 00:56:49,823 --> 00:56:52,951 Little Singer's wish is to 832 00:56:53,451 --> 00:56:57,497 continue with the language, really make the language strong, 833 00:56:57,997 --> 00:57:00,375 and to keep the kids happy, 834 00:57:02,377 --> 00:57:06,089 with happy voices, happy noises, 835 00:57:06,381 --> 00:57:09,259 happiness is what he wanted for the kids. 836 00:57:09,342 --> 00:57:12,470 And so here it's the same, 837 00:57:12,554 --> 00:57:15,640 the same thing that Little Singer wanted for the kids. 838 00:57:25,358 --> 00:57:28,069 Our Navajo, our Diné education 839 00:57:28,319 --> 00:57:31,114 is very different from the Western world. 840 00:57:40,957 --> 00:57:42,667 We don't call this a class, 841 00:57:43,084 --> 00:57:47,547 this is our home, just a place of learning and gaining knowledge. 842 00:57:59,642 --> 00:58:03,813 The Western education is very linear, 843 00:58:08,318 --> 00:58:10,862 and it feels like they don't wait for you. 844 00:58:12,030 --> 00:58:13,740 You will be left behind. 845 00:58:14,949 --> 00:58:18,953 In our way, nobody leaves anybody behind. 846 00:58:21,873 --> 00:58:23,583 Why? K'é. 847 00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:26,336 We belong to each other. 848 00:58:29,881 --> 00:58:34,219 — The school has really helped in a sense of 849 00:58:35,261 --> 00:58:37,222 preserving our language. 850 00:58:40,141 --> 00:58:43,269 They have such a desire to, to sing these songs, 851 00:58:44,187 --> 00:58:45,396 and they know them by heart. 852 00:58:47,023 --> 00:58:48,733 Had that school not been there, 853 00:58:52,153 --> 00:58:55,990 I think that their sense of self wouldn't be as strong. 854 00:58:58,243 --> 00:59:01,329 — I got to witness the culture returning, 855 00:59:01,704 --> 00:59:04,457 coming back, and being called out of them. 856 00:59:07,585 --> 00:59:12,006 I could see how different the children were when they were in the classes 857 00:59:12,173 --> 00:59:15,510 with their language and with their culture, 858 00:59:17,387 --> 00:59:22,100 how differently their bodies responded to those teachings. 859 00:59:25,103 --> 00:59:27,939 — We always say that we're a unique school, 860 00:59:28,022 --> 00:59:31,150 so we have an alternative discipline. 861 00:59:31,359 --> 00:59:34,862 We don't expel, we do peacemaking. 862 00:59:38,408 --> 00:59:41,160 Peacemaking is in the Navajo courts. 863 00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:43,997 If you decide not to go to court, 864 00:59:44,205 --> 00:59:46,249 you can choose to have peacemaking. 865 00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:57,093 — Peacemaking is entirely different than the majority culture justice system. 866 01:00:05,727 --> 01:00:08,313 I had already learned about restorative justice. 867 01:00:08,855 --> 01:00:12,191 Didn't know how related it was to peacemaking. 868 01:00:12,567 --> 01:00:14,986 It's not often mentioned that 869 01:00:15,570 --> 01:00:20,366 this has been sourced from peacemaking and 870 01:00:20,491 --> 01:00:26,331 pretty much in particular Navajo, Diné peacemaking. 871 01:00:29,709 --> 01:00:34,964 Peacemaking doesn't even have a word for offender. 872 01:00:34,964 --> 01:00:38,134 It only has a word for broken relationship. 873 01:00:38,468 --> 01:00:42,555 When something happened, the relationship is broken. 874 01:00:42,555 --> 01:00:44,307 So there is "k'é" again. 875 01:00:44,682 --> 01:00:47,101 You repair the relationship, 876 01:00:47,393 --> 01:00:50,438 you bring the relationship back together again. 877 01:00:50,938 --> 01:00:54,192 And then you have what they call hózhó, 878 01:00:54,275 --> 01:00:57,445 then you have beauty again, you have balance. 879 01:00:57,445 --> 01:01:00,948 Hózhó means a lot of things, it's not just beauty. 880 01:01:01,449 --> 01:01:05,328 It means balance and connection, 881 01:01:06,704 --> 01:01:08,164 harmony. 882 01:01:09,832 --> 01:01:11,417 And it wouldn't just be a parent, 883 01:01:11,417 --> 01:01:12,794 it would be an aunt, 884 01:01:12,794 --> 01:01:15,546 it would be a grandmother sitting in this circle. 885 01:01:18,007 --> 01:01:22,136 At some point the aunt would say, 886 01:01:23,971 --> 01:01:25,640 I wanna tell you 887 01:01:27,392 --> 01:01:30,645 why I'm responsible for this happening. 888 01:01:31,354 --> 01:01:33,314 I haven't been paying enough attention. 889 01:01:35,358 --> 01:01:41,406 And then the grandmother would say why she's responsible too. 890 01:01:42,407 --> 01:01:44,867 And each person in the circle 891 01:01:45,368 --> 01:01:48,871 would share how this had happened 892 01:01:48,871 --> 01:01:52,041 because they had not been there in the right way. 893 01:01:53,418 --> 01:01:56,254 And it would very soon go into Navajo 894 01:01:56,254 --> 01:01:59,924 because the English language doesn't have the language 895 01:01:59,966 --> 01:02:03,594 for the emotion that was shared in that circle. 896 01:02:04,178 --> 01:02:08,641 And I always felt I could understand it, you know, somehow 897 01:02:08,933 --> 01:02:12,979 my heart could understand the language right from the start. 898 01:02:19,485 --> 01:02:21,988 There's not only generational trauma, 899 01:02:22,071 --> 01:02:24,031 there's generational culture. 900 01:02:28,745 --> 01:02:31,831 Not only trauma affects us, 901 01:02:32,457 --> 01:02:35,042 but healing affects us 902 01:02:35,126 --> 01:02:36,961 and we have generations 903 01:02:36,961 --> 01:02:39,505 that we can call on and remember from. 904 01:02:40,631 --> 01:02:42,550 And you can't miss it. 905 01:02:42,759 --> 01:02:44,218 It's, it's there. 906 01:02:45,052 --> 01:02:50,183 — It is the spirit of what was prayed for, what was sung for, 907 01:02:50,224 --> 01:02:54,479 what was believed, and in the Diné way is moving, still. 908 01:03:13,372 --> 01:03:15,917 — There are so many young people, 909 01:03:15,917 --> 01:03:18,419 not only in my community, 910 01:03:18,461 --> 01:03:21,923 but other communities that are constantly searching. 911 01:03:29,013 --> 01:03:32,225 Some of them don't have the same support system that I did. 912 01:03:32,725 --> 01:03:35,144 Some just continue to wander. 913 01:03:35,895 --> 01:03:40,233 I met a group of young men who 914 01:03:40,483 --> 01:03:43,736 have such a sad story. 915 01:03:46,823 --> 01:03:48,699 — Our mother is all of our mother, 916 01:03:48,991 --> 01:03:50,785 but our father, we have different fathers, 917 01:03:50,868 --> 01:03:54,831 and my dad was the brother to their dad. 918 01:03:58,251 --> 01:04:00,920 My dad ended up passing away and then my mom passed away. 919 01:04:03,339 --> 01:04:05,258 I found a way to mentor them. 920 01:04:12,557 --> 01:04:14,559 Maybe if they know 921 01:04:15,935 --> 01:04:17,228 of a hope 922 01:04:18,729 --> 01:04:20,523 that I carry, 923 01:04:21,482 --> 01:04:23,526 maybe they'll see it, 924 01:04:23,568 --> 01:04:25,444 maybe they'll hold onto it. 925 01:04:26,153 --> 01:04:29,365 — I dream of myself being in other places, 926 01:04:29,365 --> 01:04:31,617 meeting with people, talking with people. 927 01:04:32,869 --> 01:04:34,245 My dream, honestly, 928 01:04:35,496 --> 01:04:36,622 is to leave this place. 929 01:04:44,630 --> 01:04:47,675 — Financially, it's just a struggle 930 01:04:47,675 --> 01:04:52,430 'cause not most of us are working, there's not that much jobs out here. 931 01:04:53,097 --> 01:04:55,349 So, we have to go out and get jobs. 932 01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:57,852 Not much out here to do. 933 01:04:59,437 --> 01:05:03,691 You can't really make a life out here if you really don't got nothing, you know? 934 01:05:05,610 --> 01:05:08,613 We don't have no ride, we don't got nothing, so we can't go to work 935 01:05:08,779 --> 01:05:10,865 and with that, it's just another financial problem 936 01:05:10,865 --> 01:05:12,783 too where we can't buy our food and all that. 937 01:05:12,909 --> 01:05:17,580 And it's just...you know, it gets tiresome doing the same thing over and over, 938 01:05:17,580 --> 01:05:19,498 having the same struggles over and over. 939 01:05:19,540 --> 01:05:21,042 You know, it'd be better... 940 01:05:22,043 --> 01:05:24,795 it'd be better with somewhere different. 941 01:05:29,050 --> 01:05:30,718 — They're young men. 942 01:05:31,385 --> 01:05:33,262 Had them for over a decade 943 01:05:35,097 --> 01:05:37,558 and I call them my sons, 944 01:05:39,310 --> 01:05:43,731 and... they're still with me. 945 01:05:46,567 --> 01:05:48,444 — You know, a prayer I've been making, 946 01:05:48,945 --> 01:05:52,448 asking the ancestors, what was our love like? 947 01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:58,496 What was our love like before 948 01:05:58,663 --> 01:06:00,206 all of this, you know? 949 01:06:01,123 --> 01:06:04,001 And I just think about us and our life 950 01:06:05,670 --> 01:06:08,714 with our ceremonies and our prayers and our... 951 01:06:09,048 --> 01:06:11,717 the beautiful things that we spent our time doing 952 01:06:12,093 --> 01:06:16,430 and the closeness of our relationships, our clans. 953 01:06:18,891 --> 01:06:23,312 And I just think, you know, our love must have just been so extraordinary. 954 01:06:23,980 --> 01:06:25,356 Like incredible. 955 01:06:33,406 --> 01:06:35,074 — When the ships arrive here, 956 01:06:35,116 --> 01:06:37,660 what do they describe that they see? 957 01:06:39,495 --> 01:06:42,540 Everything is flowering and fruiting and flourishing. 958 01:06:45,710 --> 01:06:46,669 Game is plentiful. 959 01:06:46,711 --> 01:06:48,838 Water is sparkling, you know, gorgeous. 960 01:06:51,132 --> 01:06:54,093 And they even describe it as 961 01:06:54,176 --> 01:06:55,928 you know, they've come upon Eden. 962 01:06:58,514 --> 01:07:02,351 So, it implies that human beings had not touched that place. 963 01:07:10,484 --> 01:07:13,904 When the truth of the matter was there were millions of human beings 964 01:07:13,946 --> 01:07:15,781 occupying this continent. 965 01:07:17,199 --> 01:07:18,576 I think the logic is 966 01:07:18,784 --> 01:07:21,203 that if it had been touched by human beings, 967 01:07:21,203 --> 01:07:23,289 it would look like where we came from 968 01:07:24,790 --> 01:07:26,292 and it doesn't look that way. 969 01:07:29,754 --> 01:07:31,255 — This world is fragile 970 01:07:31,255 --> 01:07:33,007 and the things that we do to it 971 01:07:33,424 --> 01:07:35,676 have very real consequences. 972 01:07:36,427 --> 01:07:41,015 That's something that we're suffering with, we're afflicted by it today. 973 01:07:42,767 --> 01:07:45,895 Climate change, even tornadoes coming back into our region, 974 01:07:45,936 --> 01:07:48,606 all these things are signs. 975 01:07:49,774 --> 01:07:51,108 If you think about 976 01:07:51,817 --> 01:07:54,820 all of the water, the fresh potable water in this world, 977 01:07:55,112 --> 01:07:57,156 there are corporations, there are politicians 978 01:07:57,198 --> 01:07:59,575 that are trying to steal 979 01:08:00,242 --> 01:08:02,620 the future rights of our water. 980 01:08:02,912 --> 01:08:05,873 So, this has happened to our people in the past. 981 01:08:09,168 --> 01:08:13,547 The draining of our aquifer from Peabody coal mine, 982 01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:22,139 these giant earth movers destroying our landscape, 983 01:08:23,474 --> 01:08:27,603 removing, eating the earth, you know, to access the liver, 984 01:08:27,686 --> 01:08:31,232 the liver of our earth, the coal. 985 01:08:42,118 --> 01:08:44,745 This world will continue in some other form, 986 01:08:44,745 --> 01:08:46,997 but for us, we've talked about this history, 987 01:08:47,081 --> 01:08:51,085 we know it because these are things our ancestors 988 01:08:51,127 --> 01:08:54,505 or ancient ones, have continued to teach us: 989 01:08:54,505 --> 01:08:57,091 Don't disturb the earth. Don't remove these things. 990 01:08:57,508 --> 01:09:00,302 You know, if you take this out of the earth, this is gonna harm you. 991 01:09:00,511 --> 01:09:04,932 Like uranium or other things that have harmful impacts 992 01:09:05,057 --> 01:09:09,353 for generations upon generations, far outliving us. 993 01:09:13,649 --> 01:09:14,984 — My grandpa 994 01:09:15,693 --> 01:09:18,028 was diagnosed with lung cancer, 995 01:09:18,696 --> 01:09:20,739 just like a lot of the elderly here. 996 01:09:21,157 --> 01:09:23,200 They had the downwinders 997 01:09:23,826 --> 01:09:26,370 where they poured the radiation into the river 998 01:09:27,413 --> 01:09:30,541 and a lot of our families used the river 999 01:09:30,916 --> 01:09:33,919 for farming purposes. 1000 01:09:35,212 --> 01:09:38,299 But the pouring of that radiation eventually caught up 1001 01:09:39,175 --> 01:09:42,845 years later and it manifested as 1002 01:09:43,179 --> 01:09:44,471 cancer. 1003 01:09:46,974 --> 01:09:48,434 — As humanity, 1004 01:09:48,976 --> 01:09:50,603 we have to protect what we have. 1005 01:09:50,603 --> 01:09:52,563 We have to preserve, we have to ensure 1006 01:09:52,897 --> 01:09:56,025 that the water, the air, all these things that are sacred, 1007 01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:58,694 they give us life, they sustain us, 1008 01:09:58,736 --> 01:10:00,529 that's continuance. 1009 01:10:01,155 --> 01:10:04,700 Money, fossil fuels, this greed, 1010 01:10:06,410 --> 01:10:10,873 that's the end of our civilization as humanity. 1011 01:10:25,262 --> 01:10:27,932 — We have always carried ourselves 1012 01:10:27,932 --> 01:10:31,185 in a way of balance, of hózhó, of beauty. 1013 01:10:31,352 --> 01:10:33,229 Hózhó Hajaa, our beauty way, 1014 01:10:33,395 --> 01:10:36,273 is to ensure that there's balance and harmony, 1015 01:10:36,607 --> 01:10:39,568 because we don't want to see this world destroyed. 1016 01:10:43,781 --> 01:10:47,701 — Sustainability is the highest and most sought after technology on the planet 1017 01:10:55,918 --> 01:11:00,256 but we actually have actual human beings who understand 1018 01:11:00,422 --> 01:11:01,423 how to do that. 1019 01:11:04,468 --> 01:11:07,263 These are the premier scientists of sustainability. 1020 01:11:19,316 --> 01:11:22,820 There's plants, there's insects, the hummingbirds are coming. 1021 01:11:22,945 --> 01:11:25,531 All these things are happening out there, and what are they doing? 1022 01:11:25,572 --> 01:11:28,617 Every single thing out there is doing one thing: it's making more life. 1023 01:11:34,915 --> 01:11:38,877 So, how could we develop so many institutions 1024 01:11:41,046 --> 01:11:44,800 creating health institutions, governance institutions, economic institutions 1025 01:11:46,260 --> 01:11:47,803 and none of them 1026 01:11:48,220 --> 01:11:51,056 are constructed placing life at the very center, 1027 01:11:51,724 --> 01:11:54,351 when the entire plan here is life. 1028 01:11:56,895 --> 01:11:59,023 Human beings are looking for 1029 01:11:59,606 --> 01:12:05,946 the kind of omnibeneficence that Indigenous peoples have lived. 1030 01:12:09,408 --> 01:12:13,537 We need to understand collectively what Indigenous people hold 1031 01:12:13,704 --> 01:12:16,832 for all of us and for the planet. 1032 01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:20,669 For me, that's very heartening 1033 01:12:20,711 --> 01:12:22,629 and it's also saying we're not just dreaming 1034 01:12:22,629 --> 01:12:25,424 of some pie in the sky that's probably impossible, 1035 01:12:25,632 --> 01:12:27,676 we have evidence that we've already done it. 1036 01:12:29,845 --> 01:12:32,348 The understanding of how to do it, the science of it 1037 01:12:32,389 --> 01:12:34,892 is in the cultures, is in the languages. 1038 01:12:51,784 --> 01:12:54,119 — Where I learned my weaving, 1039 01:12:55,245 --> 01:12:57,164 my grandmother, my mother, 1040 01:12:57,164 --> 01:13:00,876 anybody else in the family that knew how to weave, 1041 01:13:01,335 --> 01:13:02,795 I just watched. 1042 01:13:09,259 --> 01:13:11,845 My favorite place to play was behind 1043 01:13:12,679 --> 01:13:15,224 because our homes are circular 1044 01:13:15,432 --> 01:13:18,977 so our looms would go across 1045 01:13:19,061 --> 01:13:23,232 and then it would have some room back there 1046 01:13:23,565 --> 01:13:26,151 and so that's where I would play. 1047 01:13:26,568 --> 01:13:28,695 I would see the strings 1048 01:13:28,695 --> 01:13:32,741 and the design beginning to build. 1049 01:13:32,783 --> 01:13:35,828 and I could see my grandmother's, 1050 01:13:35,911 --> 01:13:38,872 my mother's thoughts beginning to build 1051 01:13:39,206 --> 01:13:41,583 and the beauty that they were showing. 1052 01:13:44,962 --> 01:13:46,505 This is our thoughts. 1053 01:13:46,922 --> 01:13:48,632 It's not just an art, 1054 01:13:48,924 --> 01:13:51,885 but it's an expression, it's a love. 1055 01:13:54,638 --> 01:13:56,265 I lost my mom. 1056 01:13:56,432 --> 01:13:58,684 It's been... two years ago. 1057 01:14:00,644 --> 01:14:03,188 So, I just didn't feel like weaving 1058 01:14:03,856 --> 01:14:05,649 until now, just... 1059 01:14:06,358 --> 01:14:09,361 probably within two weeks or so, 1060 01:14:09,653 --> 01:14:12,948 I started feeling that I need to come back to it. 1061 01:14:14,199 --> 01:14:18,704 Because I feel I'm connected with my mom, my grandma, my great-grandma. 1062 01:14:22,875 --> 01:14:24,293 The new world 1063 01:14:24,793 --> 01:14:26,336 is very different 1064 01:14:28,046 --> 01:14:33,093 from the world that our older generations have experienced, 1065 01:14:34,261 --> 01:14:38,807 but you can still have culture 1066 01:14:52,988 --> 01:14:55,991 — These people have survived largely 1067 01:14:56,450 --> 01:14:58,911 because they have a design of culture 1068 01:14:59,369 --> 01:15:03,832 that we no longer see, is rare to be seen. 1069 01:15:05,459 --> 01:15:07,377 The inclusiveness, 1070 01:15:07,794 --> 01:15:09,838 the generosity, 1071 01:15:13,967 --> 01:15:16,637 it's alive and it lives. 1072 01:15:22,601 --> 01:15:24,770 — In this colonized society 1073 01:15:24,770 --> 01:15:26,605 that exists throughout the world 1074 01:15:27,064 --> 01:15:31,193 there is an intense longing to reconnect 1075 01:15:31,568 --> 01:15:35,113 with all that exists that makes us. 1076 01:15:39,409 --> 01:15:42,079 People look at the Indigenous peoples of the world 1077 01:15:42,996 --> 01:15:46,041 and are able to still see that connection. 1078 01:15:51,129 --> 01:15:55,759 And that is something that Western colonized societies yearn for, 1079 01:15:55,759 --> 01:16:00,973 is that deep connection that Indigenous peoples still have. 1080 01:16:04,810 --> 01:16:06,812 The global Indigenous community, 1081 01:16:07,145 --> 01:16:10,732 we're finally at a place where we're respected and people are listening. 1082 01:16:12,067 --> 01:16:16,154 We're finally in a place as humanity to have compassion 1083 01:16:16,363 --> 01:16:17,948 and not just try to 1084 01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:21,034 convert, Christianize or 1085 01:16:21,535 --> 01:16:24,871 destroy those cultures and erase them. 1086 01:16:26,832 --> 01:16:29,376 I think it's a turning point for 1087 01:16:29,668 --> 01:16:32,421 not just us as Navajo in our region, 1088 01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:34,172 but traveling and going to 1089 01:16:34,172 --> 01:16:35,882 different other tribes 1090 01:16:35,882 --> 01:16:37,968 and seeing that their ceremonies are coming back, 1091 01:16:37,968 --> 01:16:39,928 their songs and their learning. 1092 01:16:39,970 --> 01:16:42,639 Their youth aren't afraid to speak their language. 1093 01:16:42,639 --> 01:16:45,809 Their youth aren't afraid to sing their songs in public. 1094 01:16:47,185 --> 01:16:49,313 It's a beautiful place to be, 1095 01:16:49,438 --> 01:16:52,983 but we're, we're still very much like those endangered species, 1096 01:16:52,983 --> 01:16:55,819 like the polar bear in the north. 1097 01:16:56,445 --> 01:16:58,405 We're struggling to survive. 1098 01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:03,619 — I feel like we can make it through. 1099 01:17:03,619 --> 01:17:07,164 We will make it through to find ourselves. 1100 01:17:08,540 --> 01:17:10,125 We won't be the same as we were, 1101 01:17:10,250 --> 01:17:13,962 but we can be that expression of human being 1102 01:17:13,962 --> 01:17:16,048 that is omnibeneficent again. 1103 01:17:17,591 --> 01:17:20,636 — Many people today say that there are two worlds that exist, 1104 01:17:20,927 --> 01:17:23,722 there's the traditional world and there's the modern world, 1105 01:17:24,222 --> 01:17:26,099 and that you have to choose one. 1106 01:17:26,725 --> 01:17:29,603 No, you are both 1107 01:17:30,103 --> 01:17:34,483 and understand, feel grounded 1108 01:17:34,816 --> 01:17:38,278 in who you are in your identity 1109 01:17:38,779 --> 01:17:42,699 as a person of Mother Earth, as a child of Mother Earth. 1110 01:17:47,537 --> 01:17:48,789 The rhythm 1111 01:17:49,665 --> 01:17:51,917 of those songs that 1112 01:17:52,876 --> 01:17:54,127 I grew up with, 1113 01:17:54,836 --> 01:17:56,213 they still echo 1114 01:17:57,172 --> 01:17:58,465 around here. 1115 01:18:00,258 --> 01:18:02,678 You can hear it, you know, in the wind. 1116 01:18:07,140 --> 01:18:12,229 You can hear it with just the sound of the sheep and the sheep corral 1117 01:18:16,191 --> 01:18:18,735 and children and their laughter. 1118 01:18:21,655 --> 01:18:23,990 So, life is giving us these 1119 01:18:25,117 --> 01:18:26,785 savory moments 1120 01:18:28,620 --> 01:18:29,746 and so 1121 01:18:31,206 --> 01:18:33,834 we have to embrace them. 1122 01:18:36,044 --> 01:18:37,421 In our language, 1123 01:18:38,130 --> 01:18:39,673 to close things out, 1124 01:18:41,758 --> 01:18:46,221 whether in action, whether in life, whether in song, 1125 01:18:46,430 --> 01:18:48,765 in gathering, the end 1126 01:18:49,474 --> 01:18:51,601 comes down to k'ad, 1127 01:18:52,060 --> 01:18:53,353 it is done. 1128 01:18:54,229 --> 01:18:56,064 We can't go back. 1129 01:18:56,857 --> 01:18:58,817 But it's also an invitation 1130 01:19:00,402 --> 01:19:02,154 to what is yet to come. 1131 01:19:03,739 --> 01:19:05,031 One day 1132 01:19:06,032 --> 01:19:07,826 k'ad will happen, 1133 01:19:07,868 --> 01:19:08,910 the end. 81724

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