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1
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,239
♪ What's on my mind
2
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,719
♪ It only takes a minute, girl
3
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,719
♪ Only takes a minute, girl
4
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:35,279
♪ To fall in love
To fall in love
5
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,559
♪ It only takes a minute, girl
6
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,519
♪ Just one minute for you
7
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:44,679
♪ To fall in love, fall in love
To fall in love... ♪
8
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,800
WHISTLING
9
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:48,920
Papa.
10
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,519
♪ It only takes a minute, girl
Please
11
00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:58,599
♪ To fall in love
Just one minute
12
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,439
♪ It only takes a minute, girl
It only takes a minute, girl
13
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:06,239
♪ To fall in love
To fall in love
14
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,519
♪ It only takes a minute, girl... ♪
15
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,039
Oi, oi!
Oi!
16
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,639
♪ Fall in love. ♪
17
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,800
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:35,999
It's still early season.
So, why's everyone else selling out?
19
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,759
Last Tuesday at Waikiki's,
20
00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:40,079
they were queueing round the block
for Jeff Leppard.
21
00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:41,080
I'm done, mate.
22
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,399
STEVE SIGHS
What's going on?
23
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,639
Darren's leaving the band.
24
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:47,879
Oh, bloody hell!
25
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:52,679
Benidorm's Best Tribute Act 2019,
and you're just walking away?
26
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,279
Mate, if he wants to go, just...
Oh, well, of course, you don't care.
27
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,319
You've always thought
you'd make a better Robbie.
28
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,520
What?!
Well, you have, though, haven't you?
29
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:03,679
Yeah.
Well, it's all yours, mate,
30
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,519
cos I'm gonna do
my own Robbie Williams night.
31
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,159
In Benidorm?
No.
32
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,599
I've got a gig
at Caesars Carvery in Faliraki,
33
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,399
and I'm leaving tomorrow.
34
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,599
If you're going, I'm gonna need
that grand you owe me.
35
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,679
Oh, give it up, mate.
You're never seeing that again.
36
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,639
Dicks like Darren
are only out for themselves.
37
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,399
You know
he's been shagging Isabella.
38
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,720
Oh...
39
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:25,599
You what?
40
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,159
In fact, you can't quit
41
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:30,599
cos I guess now it's time
that you are sacked for good.
42
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,919
I'm sacking you. You're sacked.
43
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:36,519
We only got that award cos I started
singing Angels in the encore.
44
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,039
In fact, that is mine.
45
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,679
You touch that award,
and I'll kill you!
46
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,920
Shh, shh! What's going on?
47
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,399
Boys... Boys,
enough with the argy-bargy.
48
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:50,199
I'm doing you a favour, lads, cos
you're wasting your life out here.
49
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:54,799
Go home, do something else
before you wake up in ten years
50
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,239
and realise
what's obvious to everyone else -
51
00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:01,000
you're just three knobheads
from Yorkshire who can't sing.
52
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,159
I'm actually from Runcorn.
53
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,840
Oh, my God.
54
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:12,800
SIGHS
55
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,359
Darren, it's me. Open up.
56
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:33,159
Darren, I want that award back.
I'm not leaving without it.
57
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,080
You know I've got a key, dickhead.
58
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:28,600
Shell?
59
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:41,920
What we gonna do?
60
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,040
Suppose we'll have to go
to the beach. Oh!
61
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,520
Morning, Dennis.
62
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,959
Archie... What you doing there?
63
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,839
You didn't kick me out last night.
64
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:51,039
You weren't in here last night.
I checked.
65
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,199
Not under the table.
66
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,280
SIGHS
67
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,320
DOOR OPENS
68
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,320
You need help.
69
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,759
Ah. You worked in a pub before?
70
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,759
Have I?! I grew up in a pub.
71
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,840
I've been pouring pints
since I was three years old.
72
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,079
Obviously, that was a lie.
73
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,279
Ten euros an hour, cash in hand.
74
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:37,399
Ten? No, no, no. Let's negotiate.
OK, seven.
75
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:41,759
I am a fast learner
with a diploma... in acting.
76
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,519
Also a proven liar
with no experience.
77
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:45,119
Let's say 12.
Nine.
78
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,479
Eleven?
Ten.
79
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,559
Perfect! But I need time off
for auditions.
80
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:49,680
Deal.
81
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,439
So, anyway, I'm waiting there.
82
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:10,079
There's a queue of beautiful women
wanting to talk to me.
83
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:13,239
Archie, I'm not coming
to some over-50s singles night.
84
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:17,720
Ah, nah, reserve judgment
until you've seen the photos.
85
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,079
Sorry, first day. What was it?
86
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:25,360
A coke.
A coke. I can do that.
87
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:31,039
Er, excuse me, is your kitchen open?
88
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,879
Kitchen?
89
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,720
Erm, I'm not sure. Dennis?
90
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,480
Is the kitchen open?
91
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,519
Yep.
Yes.
92
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,119
HE SIGHS IN RELIEF
93
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:47,640
Here.
94
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,960
Margarita was Miss Costa Rica 1996.
95
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,039
I'm done with relationships, mate.
96
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,000
Who said anything
about relationships?
97
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,839
Everyone's only there
for one thing -
98
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:06,760
couple of hours of mutually
beneficial physical intimacy.
99
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,680
Longer for me... cos I'm tantric.
100
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:15,560
SIGHS
101
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,080
Sorry.
SHE CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY
102
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,319
You look familiar.
Did you work at the Vegas Lounge?
103
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:32,119
Yeah, I play piano for Non-Jovi.
104
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,919
Rita?
Rosa. I was a dancer.
105
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,399
You remember the sexy horses?
106
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,520
Didn't recognise you
without your stirrups.
107
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:42,639
How are you? You don't look great.
108
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,440
Me and a mate had a falling-out.
109
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,879
But you don't want me to bore you
with my problems.
110
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,919
OK.
111
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:54,319
He always thought
he was the talented one.
112
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:55,440
Maybe he was.
113
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,200
Maybe I was jealous.
114
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,399
But this morning, they found
his body floating in the pool.
115
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,040
Holy shit!
116
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,999
Sorry. What happened?
117
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,879
Well, I don't know.
118
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,679
There must've been
some kind of accident.
119
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,440
Steven Evans?
120
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,960
I'm arresting you
for the murder of Darren Small.
121
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,760
What?
Holy shit.
122
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:46,879
I swear, the last time I saw him
was backstage after the gig.
123
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,759
Yeah, where we know
you had a big fight.
124
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:53,239
CCTV shows you go into his room
last night at 1:46am.
125
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,239
I was drunk.
I just went to get something.
126
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,759
What?
This award.
127
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:01,119
It's a stupid lump of glass,
but it weren't in his room,
128
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,239
and neither was Darren, I swear.
129
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,479
I was in there
no longer than a minute.
130
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,959
Long enough to throw someone
off a balcony.
131
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,000
Yeah, it only takes a minute.
132
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,399
What? Why was that weird?
133
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,160
This way.
Ah.
134
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,839
This is wrong. I know him.
He's actually really nice.
135
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,519
It's OK, lady.
We know what we're doing.
136
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,239
HE SCOFFS
137
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:30,639
You can go back inside now, Dennis.
Is it "bring your kid to work" day?
138
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:34,000
I'm 23.
Got any ID?
139
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:41,119
Jesus Ballesteros.
You know her?
140
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:44,719
Inspector Hernandez and I have a
long-running difference of opinion.
141
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,959
She thinks
my alcohol license is dodgy.
142
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,119
I think she's a complete waste
of tax payers' money.
143
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,160
Ha! As if you pay tax.
144
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,599
We may need to take a statement.
145
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,960
Let me give you my personal number.
Jesus!
146
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,960
HE CHUCKLES SOFTLY
147
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,719
Is Craig With The Monkey
a real person?
148
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,839
Yes and no.
149
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,360
Not his real name?
Not a real monkey.
150
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,599
You were in the police?
151
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,640
HE SIGHS
35 years.
152
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,839
So you should come to the hotel
where the man died and investigate.
153
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,919
SCOFFS
154
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,719
And why would I wanna do that?
155
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,879
Moral obligation.
156
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,439
If we do nothing,
an innocent man will go to jail.
157
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,559
How can you be sure he's innocent?
158
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:56,519
I have a gift.
159
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,759
I know when people are telling
the truth.
160
00:12:58,760 --> 00:12:59,760
OK.
161
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,239
I don't wanna investigate
162
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,639
because I can't be bothered
and I don't care.
163
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:05,800
Was that true?
164
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,520
Hm.
165
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:18,160
That detective woman,
you don't like her, right?
166
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:23,119
Not really.
So prove she's got the wrong man.
167
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:26,639
Make her look really dumb.
Hello?
168
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,480
Serve that fella, would you?
169
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,479
What the hell you doing?
170
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:39,079
One hour,
or I will throw this in the sea.
171
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,759
You throw that in the sea,
I'll sack you.
172
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,480
You don't help,
I quit AND throw this in the sea.
173
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,600
SIGHS DEEPLY
174
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,920
Half an hour.
Estupendo! Vamos.
175
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,159
What, you're coming, too?
176
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,000
What do you know
about investigating murders?
177
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,679
Everything!
178
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:03,159
When I was 12, I broke my leg,
179
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:04,919
so my parents bought me
a DVD player.
180
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,399
You know one of those little
portable ones with the screen?
181
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,239
They bought it second-hand
from some old English woman.
182
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,359
I think she died.
183
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,199
Anyway, when I tried to use it,
I saw there was a disc inside,
184
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:18,159
and that disc was the first-ever
episode of Midsomer Murders.
185
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,359
Do you know that show?
186
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,199
I played it, and I was thinking,
"This is SO old-fashioned,"
187
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,399
and I was going to turn it off,
188
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,919
but then Gerald Hadleigh
is found beaten to death,
189
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,359
and I'm like,
"I have to know who did this."
190
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:29,919
By the time my cast came off,
191
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,320
I had already watched
all 142 episodes.
192
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,559
And after that, I took a super-deep
dive into Murder, She Wrote,
193
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,359
Diagnosis Murder,
Touch Of Frost, Bergerac...
194
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,679
This is not like on telly.
195
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:46,119
Real police work takes hundreds
of hours of gathering information.
196
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,999
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're the boss!
197
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,239
I am only here to observe.
198
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,959
Look, I'll go on my own
and ask some questions in the bar.
199
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:56,359
You stay here
and don't talk to anyone, OK?
200
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,760
Stay here, don't talk to anyone,
million percent.
201
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,560
Excuse me,
can I ask you a few questions?
202
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,520
OK, this is big. I've got something.
203
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,999
This is Shell and Tony.
Call me Big Tone.
204
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,279
No.
Tony and Shell arrived last night.
205
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,599
Tell him what you told me.
Well, we were delayed getting in.
206
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,479
Three hours on the tarmac
at Stansted.
207
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,919
When we got to reception,
there was no-one there.
208
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:41,239
'Then all of a sudden...'
WATER SPLASHES
209
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,639
What was that splash?
It was probably a seagull.
210
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:47,279
A seagull?
Yeah, one of them big ones.
211
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,119
A seagull?
Yeah. One of them big ones.
212
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,759
I said,
"What's a seagull doing in the pool?
213
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,239
"Should be in the sea."
SHE CHUCKLES
214
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,239
And now I'm thinking
it's more likely that bloke.
215
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,199
And what time was this?
216
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,760
Quarter to one.
I'd just checked my watch.
217
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,919
The police said Steve went
into Darren's room at 1:46,
218
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,119
a whole hour later.
219
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,680
Darren was already dead.
220
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,080
OK, not bad.
221
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,400
Thank you.
222
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:19,199
The killer is still out there.
We can solve this case.
223
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,199
If you were still in the police,
what would you do now?
224
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,799
We'd go to the pub.
After the pub.
225
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,680
Probably a curry.
In the investigation.
226
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,679
Er, probably question the band.
227
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,440
Yes! Let's do that.
228
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,040
SIGHS
229
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:46,599
Say that again.
230
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:50,079
I'm Jason,
but in the band, I play Mark.
231
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,559
He's Mark,
but in the band, he plays Jason.
232
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,119
Ah.
233
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,439
And Howard.
Joward.
234
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,159
People could never tell the
difference between Howard and Jason,
235
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,639
so we just combined the two.
236
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:02,760
Saves money.
237
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,039
So, what did you guys do
after the gig last night?
238
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,279
I was with Isabella.
She's my girlfriend.
239
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,560
Ex-girlfriend.
240
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,960
And you?
I was in my room all night.
241
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,960
And what was Darren like?
242
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,759
Well, he was, er... a good singer.
243
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,759
And he knew it. He was arrogant.
244
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,399
And tight. He never got a round in.
Still owes me a grand.
245
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,120
Yeah, you couldn't trust him.
He stole his bird.
246
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,840
Still, he was a good singer, though?
247
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,480
Hi.
248
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:47,959
And, er, who are you?
249
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,719
I'm Sergeant Rosa Ortega.
250
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,519
Inspector... Dennis.
You all right?
251
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,919
Inspector Dennis has just flown in
252
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,239
from the UK
to assist with our investigation.
253
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,399
Did the airline lose your bags?
254
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,640
No.
Yes.
255
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,560
Ah... Yeah.
256
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,959
Please be discrete
with your inquiries.
257
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:16,919
I like everything to be perfect,
perfect, perfect for our guests.
258
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,279
This your place, is it, Carlos?
259
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:22,560
Yes, my wife and I took over
eight years ago.
260
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,279
She's young enough
to be his daughter.
261
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,120
Well, she is my daughter.
262
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,639
My wife died two years ago.
263
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,919
Ah, sorry for your loss.
264
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,759
She's like my Puig Campana,
you know?
265
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,240
The mountain
that looks over Benidorm.
266
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,440
She's my rock.
267
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,279
If you'll excuse me.
268
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,160
Isabella, see that the detectives
have everything they need.
269
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,919
How can I help you?
270
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,959
Ah, it's all right.
We were just leaving.
271
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,999
We need a copy of the CCTV
from last night
272
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,720
and a key to the crime scene.
273
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,000
Sure.
274
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:08,520
So sad to think this is the last
thing someone saw before they died.
275
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:13,439
So, what are we looking for?
CAMERA CLICKS
276
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,319
I'll know when I find it.
277
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,319
Of course, the anomaly.
278
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:21,319
The little thing in the room
that only the detective notices.
279
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,080
The missing chess piece,
the two left shoes.
280
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,959
In Murder, She Wrote,
series five, episode 13,
281
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,879
Jessica finds a feather duster.
282
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:34,319
Everyone thinks, "Whatever,"
but Jessica knows it's important.
283
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,319
In the end,
it turned out the murderer used it
284
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,639
to clean the crime scene.
285
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,359
There you go - the anomaly.
286
00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:41,800
TRAFFIC DRONES
287
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:46,480
Dennis, come out here.
288
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,160
Do you think
someone can climb around that?
289
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,720
HE SCOFFS
Yeah, Spider-Man.
290
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,439
You know, I can't decide
if you're more like Morse,
291
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,599
because you drink too much,
292
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,759
or Columbo,
because of your bad clothes.
293
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,719
I always thought Columbo would have
a bad smell.
294
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,279
Not a super-bad smell
but kind of funky.
295
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,919
You know? Like when you cook
a potato in a microwave.
296
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,400
You know, a bit funky.
297
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,600
Would you like to explain?
298
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,519
Your whole investigation is a joke.
299
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,599
I mean,
why haven't forensics been here yet?
300
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,279
We're over-stretched.
We don't have the...
301
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,039
I don't need to explain myself
to you.
302
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,639
What were you doing in his room?
You've got the wrong bloke.
303
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,599
Did you notice the missing gin
from the mini bar?
304
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,719
Yes. Actually, no, but so what?
305
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,519
Well, he had an all-inclusive
wrist band. Why use the mini bar?
306
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,599
And there was a light bulb missing
from the balcony,
307
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,679
and the trouser press
wasn't in the wardrobe.
308
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,199
So he was using the trouser press.
309
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,559
Oh, look alive, Jesus.
Nobody uses a trouser press.
310
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:04,959
This is why he didn't kill Darren?
311
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,799
Because someone moved
the trouser press?
312
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,639
No, these are what I call anomalies.
313
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,359
Hey! I told you that.
314
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:13,479
Steve didn't kill Darren
315
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,599
because by the time
he went to his room last night,
316
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,319
Darren was already dead.
317
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,080
Let me introduce you to Big Tone.
318
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:25,079
A seagull?
Yeah, one of them big ones.
319
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,839
What time was this?
320
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,519
Quarter to one. I checked my watch.
Can I see the watch?
321
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,279
Shell.
Oh.
322
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,640
He don't like a tan line.
323
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,360
This is an hour slow.
324
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,479
Oh, you dozy twonk.
325
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,079
You forgot to wind it forward
when we landed.
326
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:47,439
This means that the sound
of the body hitting the water
327
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:52,480
coincides exactly with when
we know Steve was in Darren's room.
328
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,880
And being a detective
was your actual job, yes?
329
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,320
HE EXHALES DEEPLY
Why did I ever listen to you?
330
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,720
You've wasted everyone's time.
Leave it, Michelle.
331
00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:30,480
DISTANT RADIO PLAYS
332
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,239
I thought
you were re-stocking the crisps.
333
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,479
Crisps can wait. Look at this.
334
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,399
Half an hour before
Darren comes back to his room,
335
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,159
this guy walks into the room
next door, 514.
336
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:46,280
Then at 1:46, here comes Steve.
337
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:48,519
He goes in.
338
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,399
One minute later,
he comes out again.
339
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,759
Fast forward ten minutes,
340
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,679
Sombrero guy comes back out
of room 514.
341
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,639
I checked with the hotel,
and that room was empty.
342
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,119
Suspicious, yes? Yes!
343
00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:03,799
And now looks like
his arm is missing.
344
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,680
Perhaps he was mauled by a bear.
345
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,280
Is that a roast?
Where'd you get a roast?
346
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:13,519
I had it delivered.
347
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,120
HE SIGHS DEEPLY
348
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:18,039
Rosa, take your medicine.
349
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,359
The guy's guilty,
and if he's not guilty,
350
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:22,319
he's gonna need more
than a knackered old copper
351
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:23,760
and a failed actress
to help him out.
352
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,320
You think I'm a failed actress?
353
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,759
You know what my father said to me
354
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,280
when I told him
I wanted to be an actor?
355
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,680
He said, "I would rather you told me
you were a bank robber.
356
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,919
"At least then
maybe you'd earn some money."
357
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,759
HE SIGHS
Jeez.
358
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,679
I'm... I'm sorry. I...
359
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:53,440
HE STUTTERS
I didn't mean... you know...
360
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,399
Ha! Failed actress? I had you.
361
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,759
No, you didn't.
362
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,519
Yes, I did,
because I am a brilliant actress.
363
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,719
But more importantly,
I am a good person.
364
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,319
And bad things happen
when good people do nothing.
365
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,479
Nothing's all you've done
since you've worked here.
366
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:11,720
Do them crisps.
367
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,399
Why did you come
to Benidorm, Dennis?
368
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,920
To sit in your boring pub
and do nothing until you die?
369
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:21,199
Give or take.
But you can solve this case.
370
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,879
No, I can't. My brain's gone.
371
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,959
I mean, imagine not even checking
the watch. Schoolboy error.
372
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,119
Do the crisps.
373
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:31,720
Do it yourself. I quit.
374
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:34,760
HE SIGHS
375
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:45,839
Seriously, what's wrong
with my toasties?
376
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,800
Hm-hm-hm. Mmm!
377
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:53,560
SIGHS
378
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:10,400
Did you put on weight?
379
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:13,440
Hi, Jackie.
380
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:19,840
You want a funny hat?
381
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,760
I'm OK, thanks.
You're sad.
382
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:26,879
Did you do badly
in an audition again?
383
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:30,559
No, I'm just feeling
a bit out of my depth.
384
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,199
I understand.
385
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,320
I saw your showreel, Rosa.
It's not very good, eh?
386
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:36,840
Can you help me?
387
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:43,719
I'm not talking about acting.
388
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,559
I know this person
who got arrested for murder.
389
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,599
Ah, the Gary Barlow man.
You know about that?
390
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:50,919
I know everyone.
391
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,279
He pushed Robbie Williams
from the fifth floor.
392
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:54,519
But I know he didn't.
393
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,759
The police aren't even looking
at the other bandmates.
394
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:58,279
One was jealous of his new job,
395
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,679
then there's this weird
love triangle with Isabella.
396
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,559
No, not a triangle.
397
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:06,879
She only loved one of them.
Who? Who was Isabella in love with?
398
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,559
I'm afraid that is gonna cost you.
399
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,000
I thought we were friends.
400
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,560
No.
401
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,999
Hola.
No, thank you.
402
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,519
PHONE RINGING
403
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:41,720
SIGHS
404
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,319
Isabella and Darren
were totally in love.
405
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,319
So she chucked him off the balcony
because he was leaving?
406
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,279
No, no, no, that's the thing.
He was not leaving.
407
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,319
Well, he was leaving,
but he was not leaving her.
408
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,519
She was going with him to Greece.
'Interesting.'
409
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:57,959
Well, all the best with that.
410
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,919
No, stop pretending you don't care.
I'm coming to the pub.
411
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:02,639
'I'm not at the pub.'
412
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,879
The pub's closed tonight.
'Where are you?'
413
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:07,439
SIGHS
None of your business.
414
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,639
OK. Weird. I'll see you tomorrow.
415
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,239
I thought you quit?
416
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,520
OK, fine. Goodbye forever.
417
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,120
SIGHS
418
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,079
Shall we just pretend
we didn't see each other?
419
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:31,360
I was here on police business.
Oh, really... Maria?
420
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:34,839
Look, I'm not judging.
421
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,479
I'm just surprised you qualified
for an over-50s thing.
422
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,520
I had to persuade them to let me in.
423
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,480
You'll be fine.
424
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:45,239
How was it?
425
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,159
One of the worst ten minutes
of my life.
426
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:49,240
Enjoy.
427
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,120
I don't suppose
you fancy going for a drink?
428
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:05,039
I was working 12-, 14-hour days.
429
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,639
Tiff ended up having an affair.
Tiff?
430
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,279
Tiffany.
Your wife was called Tiffany?
431
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,919
No, Tiffany was the cat.
We just drifted.
432
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:14,479
Yes, my wife was called Tiffany.
433
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:17,400
I can't picture you
with a woman called Tiffany.
434
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:22,719
When I think of a Tiffany,
I think of someone,
435
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,080
I... I don't know, attractive.
436
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:28,640
She was.
437
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:31,040
That was the problem.
438
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,639
That what happened to you?
Pressures of the job?
439
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:39,160
I don't wanna talk to you
about this.
440
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:41,319
Divorce?
441
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,360
Personal things. Feelings.
442
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,719
Mm. You surprise me.
443
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:51,719
That I don't wanna open up to a man
I barely know and don't respect?
444
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,200
No, that you have feelings.
445
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,759
I'm not bad at my job.
446
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:00,439
What did I say?
I didn't say anything.
447
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,359
You said I was a complete waste
of taxpayers' money.
448
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:04,720
Well, apart from that.
449
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,600
I am a good detective, OK?
The whole force has been cut back.
450
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:13,240
Well, you've always got Jesus.
Jesus?
451
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,119
Yesterday,
he accidentally called me "Mum".
452
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,080
HE CHUCKLES
453
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,039
Do you want another drink?
Hm.
454
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,239
I've got work tomorrow.
So do I.
455
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,119
If you call "sitting around
drinking beer" work.
456
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:34,240
Well, that's not fair.
I often have to stand up.
457
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:36,600
Good night.
458
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:24,840
Why are you still here?
459
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:29,640
'Si, ahora mismo.'
460
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:33,120
No, no lo sabia.
461
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:37,920
De acuerdo.
462
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:43,000
Si, pues dile...
dile que me llame. Si.
463
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,440
Esta manana. Adios.
464
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,840
Seriously, why are you still here?
I was just getting my shoes.
465
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:58,999
So, you've got
the postmortem results back, then.
466
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,119
How do you know that?
467
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,160
Two injuries,
one on either side of his head?
468
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,640
That didn't happen on the fall.
469
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,839
Must have been attacked in his room.
SHE SIGHS
470
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:11,839
I'm so glad you're here
to explain this to me
471
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,079
But that doesn't make sense,
cos why would you kill someone
472
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,200
and then throw their body
over the balcony?
473
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:21,640
Either way, you're now looking
for a murder weapon.
474
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,000
But Steve was empty-handed
when he left the room.
475
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,760
I saw the tape.
How have you seen the tape?
476
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,599
You need to stop interfering
with this investigation right now,
477
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:37,440
or I will arrest you for perverting
the course of justice.
478
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,519
There's only one pervert in here,
things you got up to last night.
479
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:43,839
That was a mistake.
Nah, come on. It was fun.
480
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:45,120
No, I mean the whole thing.
481
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,760
I don't know how it happened.
Please just leave.
482
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,359
Fair enough.
483
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,719
But if I were you, I'd have
another look at that crime scene.
484
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,199
The murder weapon has to be
in there.
485
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,000
I don't need advice
from detectives like you.
486
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:01,799
I googled you last night
while you were snoring in my bed.
487
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,439
Sorry about that.
488
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,319
You didn't retire.
489
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,199
You were fired
for planting evidence.
490
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:08,520
SIGHS SOFTLY
491
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,839
I was set up.
Of course.
492
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,759
I was set up by my boss.
493
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,759
That's who Tiff was having
the affair with.
494
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:20,520
I was a good copper.
Well, now you're a barman.
495
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,360
So go back to your miserable pub
and leave the police work to me.
496
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,120
HE SIGHS
497
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,320
DOOR OPENS
498
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:38,640
DOOR CLOSES
499
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,920
You gonna eat that sausage?
Yes.
500
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,399
What about those beans?
501
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:52,560
Bella, you've not touched the beans.
502
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,559
Does "quit" mean something different
in Spanish?
503
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,479
My father says
if I don't have a job,
504
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:07,840
I have to go and live back at home.
505
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,799
I thought you wanted nothing to do
with the case.
506
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,880
I don't.
Just keeps coming back, like you.
507
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,959
Is it maybe a little to do
with Inspector Maria?
508
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,680
I feel like there's something
you're not telling me.
509
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,160
Mm. There's really not.
510
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:30,199
Darren was hit on the head twice
before he went over the balcony.
511
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:31,239
How do you know this?
512
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:35,359
The Spanish cops think that the CCTV
of Steve coming to Darren's room
513
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,679
is what incriminates him,
514
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:38,919
but I think
it's what proves he didn't do it.
515
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:42,439
He's empty-handed when he leaves,
and there's nothing in the room
516
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:44,759
that you could use
as a murder weapon.
517
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,239
I went back in and had a look
at the crime scene this morning.
518
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:48,280
Without me?
519
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,999
There was a smell of gin
on the balcony.
520
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,519
The mini bar.
521
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,640
Darren was killed
with the missing gin bottle.
522
00:33:57,720 --> 00:33:59,239
What? No!
523
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,399
How's a miniature gin bottle
gonna be heavy enough
524
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:02,839
to do that kind of damage?
525
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,719
What kind of damage?
Where are you getting this from?
526
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:09,359
Whoever killed Darren
is under that sombrero.
527
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,640
Which is literally
what I said yesterday.
528
00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:16,159
Yeah, but now I know who it is.
529
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:18,040
Look what happens
after he leaves the room.
530
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,839
What killer cares
about a wonky picture?
531
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:32,040
One that likes everything to be
perfect, perfect, perfect.
532
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,239
I have called the police.
533
00:34:48,240 --> 00:34:50,879
The real police.
534
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,719
Well, I guess one of us
are getting arrested, then.
535
00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:55,359
Isabella,
when did you tell your father
536
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:56,880
you were leaving for good
with Darren?
537
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,399
The night before
we were meant to leave.
538
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,519
Papa.
Que?
539
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,200
♪ Fall in love... ♪
540
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,720
I was too afraid to tell him sooner.
541
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:20,439
You come into my hotel,
and you say such disgusting things?
542
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,239
How did I kill Darren?
543
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,999
Gotta be honest,
I'm not a hundred percent.
544
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,559
Well, good luck.
545
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:29,319
You have two minutes until
the police arrive to figure it out.
546
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:30,600
Isabella, come now.
547
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,080
Vamos.
548
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,359
You should probably go.
549
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,319
Your father's not gonna be
best pleased if you get arrested.
550
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,680
I think that's why I want to stay.
HE SIGHS DEEPLY
551
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,599
You know what they call this?
This is the brick wall.
552
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,879
The cops are sure
they have their man,
553
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,519
but the crime seems impossible
to solve
554
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,519
and it looks like
he's going to get away with it.
555
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:54,439
But it's OK
because you know what comes next?
556
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:56,599
The eureka moment.
557
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,359
In Miss Marple,
series one, episode five,
558
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,240
Colonel Lucius Protheroe
is found dead in the vicarage.
559
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,840
And it turns out the second gunshot
was fake.
560
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,560
What is it? What are you staring at?
561
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,639
It's happening?
You're having the eureka moment?
562
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:20,280
Not with you banging on, I'm not.
563
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,079
I warned you.
564
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,839
I told you what would happen.
You going down.
565
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:29,039
Shut up, Jesus.
Dennis is about to solve the case.
566
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,839
Right?
Mm, I'd say I'm 50-50.
567
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,559
Jesus...
Wait, wait, wait!
568
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,239
Look...
569
00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:39,639
Carlos called Isabella his rock.
570
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,639
She's like my Puig Campana,
you know?
571
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,760
The mountain that looks
over Benidorm.
572
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:47,759
She's my rock.
573
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,519
He couldn't let her go, especially
not with a bloke like Darren.
574
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:54,119
Lucky for him, he finds Steve
and Darren arguing earlier,
575
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,279
which presents him
with both a suspect and a weapon.
576
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,599
You touch that award,
and I'll kill you!
577
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,199
This is pure speculation.
578
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,439
You think this is flimsy?
I'm just getting started.
579
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:04,480
Keep going.
580
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,119
Carlos goes up to fifth floor.
581
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:10,519
He can't switch the CCTV off
because it would look suspicious,
582
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:14,600
but earlier, he finds a disguise.
583
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:20,760
That's who was on the CCTV.
584
00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:24,719
This man goes
into the room next door.
585
00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:27,400
It's a misdirect. Right?
586
00:37:29,240 --> 00:37:31,760
So how does he get between rooms?
I'll show you.
587
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:36,200
What is happening?
I think this is the denouement.
588
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:39,240
Look at the skirting here.
589
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:44,559
The whole room is made out of evenly
cut pieces, apart from this bit.
590
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:45,959
Why cut it like that?
591
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,479
Why don't you just save
everyone's time and tell us?
592
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,119
Cos the hotel's
just been refurbished,
593
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:53,159
and the wardrobe used to be here.
594
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,039
OK. Where are you going with this?
595
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,280
Next door. Give me your master key.
596
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,199
Right.
597
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,839
I was thinking about the magician,
598
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:05,479
the Amazing Keith
and His Secret Door.
599
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:06,559
DOOR CLOSES
600
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:10,519
There's always some compartment
or a panel or something.
601
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:11,679
NEIGHBOURING DOOR
OPENS
602
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:15,159
And after the hotel was refurbished,
it was adults only.
603
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,319
There's no families staying.
604
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,000
No families
means you don't need any...
605
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:22,440
Ta-da!
606
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:25,759
EXHALES DEEPLY
...interconnecting rooms.
607
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,959
That's good. That's really good.
608
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:29,519
They don't even bother
to brick it up.
609
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:33,239
They just move the wardrobe
from here and put it in front of it.
610
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:36,999
But this would mean Carlos
was in the room when Steve came in.
611
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,119
Almost.
612
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:41,439
Almost? This is total bullshit.
613
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,159
You let yourself
into room 514 next door,
614
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,519
took off your poncho
and got into the wardrobe,
615
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:48,319
where you then popped out
the wee plugs
616
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:49,719
that hold the back panel in place,
617
00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:51,599
taking you through
into Darren's room.
618
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,079
You think he just jumped him
and killed him?
619
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:57,640
Darren was a big, muscly guy,
and Carlos is kind of puny.
620
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:01,359
Good point well made, Jesus.
621
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,679
There was no light bulb
on the balcony
622
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,320
because Carlos took it out.
623
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,039
When Darren got back,
he went outside
624
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,000
and was distracted by the light...
625
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,999
...allowing him to use
the element of surprise.
626
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,959
You hit him once to knock him out...
627
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:21,239
THUD,
DARREN GROANS
628
00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:23,999
...and a second time to kill him.
THUD
629
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:27,319
Anyone could have been on their
balcony and been none the wiser.
630
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,919
The whole thing was done
in near silence.
631
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:32,119
Silent but deadly.
632
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,600
Course you didn't bank on Steve
arriving at exactly that moment.
633
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:37,839
Darren, it's me. Open up.
634
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:41,999
Darren, I want that award back.
I'm not leaving without it.
635
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,640
'You were about to be found
next to a dead body.'
636
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:49,359
You know I've got a key, dickhead.
637
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,079
You did the only thing
you could think of.
638
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,039
You threw Darren's body
over the balcony.
639
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:54,159
WATER SPLASHING
640
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,559
What was that splash?
It was probably a seagull.
641
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:59,199
So when Steve comes out,
he looks around,
642
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,799
sees nothing and leaves.
643
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,159
You clean your finger prints
from the murder scene
644
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:07,519
using the gin from the mini-bar,
go back through the wardrobe...
645
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:09,559
Like Aslan the Lion.
646
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:11,760
Yeah, like Aslan the Lion.
647
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,999
...forgetting to replace
the trouser press.
648
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:21,039
You then put your disguise back on
and left the way you came,
649
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:24,479
clutching the award,
the murder weapon,
650
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:26,200
under your poncho.
651
00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:30,199
I'm guessing
by the look on your face
652
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:31,799
I've pretty much nailed that, eh?
653
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:32,920
Papa?
654
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:44,840
ISABELLA
BREATHES HEAVILY
655
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:08,920
ISABELLA SNIFFLES,
SOBS
656
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:21,920
That was by far the luckiest piece
of police work I have ever seen.
657
00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:26,559
And all done without planting
a single piece of evidence.
658
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,519
I meant what I said.
I was a good detective.
659
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,399
I am a good detective.
660
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,799
So don't ever interfere
in police business again.
661
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:33,880
Not gonna.
662
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,439
Or tell anyone about what happened
last night.
663
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,959
I won't make that mistake
ever again.
664
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:41,119
Me neither.
665
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,719
I mean it. You tell anyone, and...
666
00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:47,359
Yeah, yeah, you'll arrest me and
shut down my miserable little pub.
667
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,959
I was going to say
"depressing little pub".
668
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,520
Hm, well,
can't be right every time.
669
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:00,760
Wow!
JESUS CLEARS THROAT
670
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,919
Maybe after, you and me could go get
a little drink somewhere?
671
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:06,680
After what, puberty?
672
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:09,679
CLEARS THROAT
673
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:11,919
HE CHUCKLES SOFTLY
674
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:14,719
That was perfect -
the anomaly, the brick wall,
675
00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:18,479
classic eureka moment,
and all solved in under two days.
676
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,240
Yeah. That's never happened before.
677
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,039
You've never had me
as a partner before.
678
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:28,000
We're not partners.
OK, partner.
679
00:42:29,240 --> 00:42:31,559
You're not my partner.
OK, partner.
680
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:32,800
HE SIGHS
681
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,999
We have a celebrity
in the Laughter Lounge tonight,
682
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:38,679
Vince Starky.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
683
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:39,759
What you doing here?
684
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:42,119
Five sell-out nights
at The Benidorm Palace apparently.
685
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:43,359
Hey-hey!
686
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,359
There's a lot of pressure
on this case,
687
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:46,759
and I have no detectives.
688
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:50,279
We've got a new case?
That is hilarious.
689
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:51,719
So, this guy is a comedian?
690
00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:53,479
It was meant to be
the start of his comeback.
691
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:56,119
We should speak to Jackie.
JACKIE SIGHS
692
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:58,359
Apparently, you know the word
on the street. What?
693
00:42:58,360 --> 00:42:59,519
What is it? What's going on?
694
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,719
I just found the murder weapon.
695
00:43:01,720 --> 00:43:03,199
What a bloody mess.
696
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:04,600
There's something else going on.
52525
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