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1
00:00:06,415 --> 00:00:08,341
(epic action music playing)
2
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:27,193
Now that I, Chinnos,
finally wield the Doomsday App,
3
00:00:27,270 --> 00:00:30,479
I can restart this planet
in flames,
4
00:00:30,556 --> 00:00:31,814
as a utopia.
5
00:00:31,890 --> 00:00:34,024
I don't know, Chinnos.
You say "utopia,"
6
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:35,868
but what I'm hearing is
"kill everyone."
7
00:00:35,945 --> 00:00:38,704
And I really don't want to find
a new dry cleaner.
8
00:00:38,781 --> 00:00:40,864
Your funny-but-not-too-funny
banter
9
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:43,784
will not save you,
Magnesium Man.
10
00:00:43,861 --> 00:00:46,712
Yeah, but it did distract you,
didn't it, Dad Bod?
11
00:00:46,789 --> 00:00:47,880
Take him, Airshot!
12
00:00:47,957 --> 00:00:51,050
(weapon clicking)
13
00:00:51,127 --> 00:00:53,719
Yes, Airshot, pump that air gun!
14
00:00:53,796 --> 00:00:56,931
Five pumps?
Think of the pressure.
15
00:01:01,137 --> 00:01:03,646
Aw, what's the matter?
Bad head day?
16
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:10,152
It's time I took the Vindicators
out of the equation.
17
00:01:15,985 --> 00:01:17,827
I'll take that dance now.
18
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:22,197
(audience crying)
19
00:01:22,274 --> 00:01:26,043
Their first kiss was their last.
20
00:01:35,838 --> 00:01:38,255
(audience crying)
21
00:01:38,308 --> 00:01:40,266
Huh? (stammering)
22
00:01:40,343 --> 00:01:42,310
(snoring)
23
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,056
Wow. It was called Crystal War
24
00:01:47,132 --> 00:01:49,275
because they were all
turned to crystals.
25
00:01:49,352 --> 00:01:52,853
Hey, now is not the time
for your cold-hearted analysis.
26
00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:55,564
The sequel isn't coming out
for a year.
27
00:01:55,641 --> 00:01:58,784
What loving God would make us
wait that long?
28
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,944
A year?
That's, like, a million years.
29
00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:04,239
I cannot wait.
Don't you leave me,
30
00:02:04,316 --> 00:02:06,283
you be-cape-ed gob-smashers!
31
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:07,626
(grunts)
32
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,302
Children, I pulled you
out of your classes today
33
00:02:16,379 --> 00:02:18,971
to warn you of a dangerous
new Internet trend.
34
00:02:19,048 --> 00:02:20,756
The paprika challenge?
35
00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:22,966
(muffled):
The eight ball challenge?
36
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,811
No, the highly-imitatable stunt
I'm referring to
37
00:02:25,888 --> 00:02:27,980
is the "flag yourself"
challenge.
38
00:02:28,057 --> 00:02:30,599
(excited chatter)
39
00:02:30,676 --> 00:02:32,651
Instead of a merely
verbal warning,
40
00:02:32,728 --> 00:02:34,812
it's clear to me
a more effective deterrent
41
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,897
would be to show you
a video of the stunt
42
00:02:36,974 --> 00:02:40,567
performed by YouTube star
Reaction Guy.
43
00:02:40,644 --> 00:02:42,486
Whoa, Reaction Guy?
44
00:02:42,497 --> 00:02:45,406
Everybody who's anybody
gets reacted to by him.
45
00:02:45,482 --> 00:02:47,991
Watch and learn...
to not do this.
46
00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:51,578
What up, Reaction Faction? It's your boy, Reaction Guy.
47
00:02:51,655 --> 00:02:54,340
Today I'm gonna be reactingto the Flag Yourself Challenge.
48
00:02:54,417 --> 00:02:58,127
Shout-out to my crew, Hedgehog, Thin Mint, and White Malik.
49
00:02:58,203 --> 00:02:59,962
They're gonna raise me like a flag.
50
00:03:00,038 --> 00:03:01,847
(students exclaiming)
51
00:03:01,924 --> 00:03:04,016
(excited chatter)
52
00:03:04,093 --> 00:03:08,595
Whoa-ho! Whoa, this is so clench!
53
00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:09,930
-(overlapping chatter)
-Wow, cool!
54
00:03:10,007 --> 00:03:11,273
Ooh, ooh!
55
00:03:15,721 --> 00:03:16,770
Hey, guys, this is Bart Simpsn
56
00:03:16,847 --> 00:03:18,939
from my new channel, Reaction Bart.
57
00:03:19,016 --> 00:03:21,367
Big shout-out to my boy White Seymour for putting me onto
58
00:03:21,444 --> 00:03:24,278
the Flag Yourself Challenge. So clench!
59
00:03:24,396 --> 00:03:26,705
Okay, hit it. Check it out.
60
00:03:26,782 --> 00:03:29,783
I'm waving at my haters and they don't even know it.
61
00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:32,536
Clench! Clench! Whoa-ho-ho!
62
00:03:32,571 --> 00:03:33,996
Buy my merch.
63
00:03:34,072 --> 00:03:36,540
Merch to come. Merch!
64
00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:37,383
Whoa.
65
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:44,557
Whoa. His obliques
must be shredded.
66
00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:47,176
I got to check them out
next time we go swimming.
67
00:03:47,252 --> 00:03:50,471
Whoa! (grunting)
68
00:03:50,547 --> 00:03:53,232
Oh, ooh, ow, ooh.
69
00:03:53,309 --> 00:03:55,476
Milhouse, no!
70
00:03:55,552 --> 00:03:57,820
I need your passcode
to upload the video.
71
00:03:59,932 --> 00:04:03,484
Yo, Milhouse, I got you
a balloon form the gift shop.
72
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,569
Oh.
73
00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:07,529
So what'd the doctors say?
74
00:04:07,606 --> 00:04:10,082
(groans) I have
a full-body sprain.
75
00:04:10,159 --> 00:04:13,577
Most of my muscles are wrapped
around the wrong bones.
76
00:04:13,588 --> 00:04:15,913
Okay, champ,
physical therapy time.
77
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,090
Who's ready for four hours
of stretch bands?
78
00:04:18,167 --> 00:04:20,342
No, not the purple.
79
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:24,138
(whimpering)
80
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,674
Glucose? (chuckles)
81
00:04:27,751 --> 00:04:29,852
Don't mind if I do-cose.
(slurping)
82
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,014
Okay, mate, you can do this.
83
00:04:34,091 --> 00:04:37,059
It's hard, but those little
buggers are counting on you.
84
00:04:37,135 --> 00:04:39,945
Do it for the buggers.
85
00:04:40,022 --> 00:04:41,563
(gulping)
86
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,115
Ugh. (shudders)
87
00:04:47,029 --> 00:04:48,496
(gulping)
88
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,791
-Top of the bing-bong, ladies.
-(gasps)
89
00:04:52,868 --> 00:04:55,702
-You're Glen Tangier.
-You're Airshot.
90
00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:57,704
Good on you, Nightingales.
91
00:04:57,781 --> 00:04:59,957
Now, who can point me
towards, uh,
92
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,960
"Milhouse Van Houten"?
93
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:06,305
Ooh, right down the hall
and to the left, Glen.
94
00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:10,634
Wow. Flirt much, Debby?
95
00:05:10,645 --> 00:05:12,811
Sorry, we can't all
be married to
96
00:05:12,888 --> 00:05:16,315
Ogdenville's car detailing king
Duke Druthers.
97
00:05:16,392 --> 00:05:18,817
What's up, little bro?
98
00:05:18,894 --> 00:05:21,645
How's my favorite
real-life superhero?
99
00:05:21,656 --> 00:05:24,147
Holy crap, you're Glen Tangier.
100
00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:26,483
Uh-uh-uh, never heard of him.
101
00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:28,986
The name's Airshot.
102
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:31,163
(blows)
103
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,998
You're my favorite Vindicator.
104
00:05:33,075 --> 00:05:36,785
You don't even have any powers,
you're just super good at air.
105
00:05:36,862 --> 00:05:39,746
Uh, easy now. Don't get
too excited, Milhouse.
106
00:05:39,823 --> 00:05:41,748
Oh, I'm not...
107
00:05:41,825 --> 00:05:43,625
I am Milhouse.
108
00:05:43,702 --> 00:05:45,794
(whimpering)
109
00:05:45,871 --> 00:05:47,713
That's right. (chuckling)
Calm down, hero.
110
00:05:47,789 --> 00:05:50,349
Don't make whatever
you have worse.
111
00:05:50,426 --> 00:05:53,635
Is it something that gets worse?
Please don't say it gets worse.
112
00:05:53,712 --> 00:05:55,854
Oh, don't worry, Airshot,
I'm okay.
113
00:05:55,931 --> 00:05:59,975
Well, aren't you just Pimm
to the brim with Adelaide spunk?
114
00:06:00,052 --> 00:06:01,268
(gulping)
115
00:06:01,345 --> 00:06:03,687
Oh, thank boomerang Jesus
116
00:06:03,698 --> 00:06:05,188
you're not one of those
brave little buggers
117
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,815
that I have to show this to.
118
00:06:06,892 --> 00:06:08,775
Wait, what do you got in there?
119
00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:11,862
Oh, it's a laptop
with the sequel
120
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:15,824
to the Vindicators: Crystal garbage.
121
00:06:15,901 --> 00:06:20,454
(gulping) All that matters is
you're gonna be okay, mate.
122
00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:24,166
(yawns) Never wanted
to be an actor anyway,
123
00:06:24,242 --> 00:06:27,886
just a simple koala butcher
like me old man.
124
00:06:27,963 --> 00:06:30,848
(snoring)
125
00:06:33,802 --> 00:06:37,062
Yo, Airshot. Glen.
126
00:06:37,139 --> 00:06:40,182
(snoring continues)
127
00:06:40,258 --> 00:06:42,276
Hello.
128
00:06:43,979 --> 00:06:46,813
(laptop beeps)
129
00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:48,857
Sweet boomerang Jeebus.
130
00:06:48,934 --> 00:06:50,868
(epic action music playing)
131
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:58,033
What an ending.
132
00:06:58,110 --> 00:07:01,411
People are gonna freak out
when they see it...
133
00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:03,246
in a month from now.
134
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:07,376
Till then, I'm the only one
that knows what happens.
135
00:07:07,452 --> 00:07:10,095
Only I know.
136
00:07:10,172 --> 00:07:14,049
I'm the most powerful kid
in the world.
137
00:07:14,126 --> 00:07:16,935
-(thunder crashes)
-(snoring)
138
00:07:17,012 --> 00:07:20,055
Toss that Kanga shank
into the billy-boil.
139
00:07:20,132 --> 00:07:22,941
It'll be tender by moon jump.
140
00:07:27,931 --> 00:07:32,401
Yo, Fat Thor, I've seen
Vindicators: Crystal War 2.
141
00:07:32,477 --> 00:07:35,070
-You blaspheme!
-My buddy Airshot
showed it to me.
142
00:07:35,147 --> 00:07:36,955
Ha. I repeat, ha.
143
00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:40,283
As if Glen Tangier,
the Tasmanian Adonis,
144
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:45,130
would deign to interact with
someone of your insignificance.
145
00:07:45,207 --> 00:07:47,216
Whoa!
146
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:52,921
You are defeated, Vindicator.
147
00:07:52,998 --> 00:07:56,266
Not as long as
I'm still breathing. (blows)
148
00:07:59,838 --> 00:08:03,056
Sweet batarang Jesus.
Tell me more.
149
00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:05,225
Uhp-uhp-uhp-uhp-uhp.
The first taste was free,
150
00:08:05,302 --> 00:08:07,820
the next is gonna cost you.
151
00:08:07,896 --> 00:08:11,782
I've had my eye on that
Dr. 3 A.M. graphic novel.
152
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,910
Okay, strap yourself in.
The way it goes down is...
153
00:08:16,313 --> 00:08:18,739
But pause.
The knowledge you offer
154
00:08:18,815 --> 00:08:22,492
would spoil the movie event
of the year. Nay, century.
155
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:25,003
Nay, epoch. Nay, summer.
156
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,580
Tell me nothing.
157
00:08:26,656 --> 00:08:29,341
Ah,
but my curiosity consumes me.
158
00:08:29,418 --> 00:08:32,419
All right, here's the deal,
the movie starts on the logo...
159
00:08:32,496 --> 00:08:34,513
Silence! Speak!
160
00:08:34,590 --> 00:08:37,599
Speak not. Expound!
161
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,762
I pass the test.
I will diminish
162
00:08:41,838 --> 00:08:44,022
and remain Comic Book Guy.
163
00:08:46,051 --> 00:08:48,185
Mmm. Ooh, shrimp.
164
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:52,773
Hey. What would you give me
not to find out what happens?
165
00:08:52,849 --> 00:08:54,483
(slurps)
166
00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:56,818
Be gone, Spoiler Boy.
167
00:08:56,895 --> 00:08:58,945
Hm, Spoiler Boy.
168
00:08:59,022 --> 00:09:00,706
(laughs)
I like that.
169
00:09:00,783 --> 00:09:04,326
¶ ¶
170
00:09:04,402 --> 00:09:05,952
(gasps) That's the kid who saw
171
00:09:06,029 --> 00:09:08,872
Vindicators: Crystal War 2: Resurgence.
172
00:09:08,883 --> 00:09:11,833
Do what he says
or he'll spoil the ending.
173
00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:14,878
I must protect my virgin ears.
174
00:09:14,889 --> 00:09:17,473
-(toilet flushing)
-(gurgling)
175
00:09:21,753 --> 00:09:23,345
I think you can do better
than that.
176
00:09:23,421 --> 00:09:25,514
Four chicken lumpettes
per person.
177
00:09:25,590 --> 00:09:27,849
Even if that person knows
which Vindicator
178
00:09:27,926 --> 00:09:31,737
loses a third of their powers
fighting Karate Scorpion?
179
00:09:31,814 --> 00:09:34,523
Zip it. My boyfriend's taking me
to see that movie
180
00:09:34,599 --> 00:09:36,492
when it gets to
the two-dollar theater.
181
00:09:38,153 --> 00:09:39,870
¶ ¶
182
00:09:42,491 --> 00:09:44,917
Simpson, you're getting
one day of detention
183
00:09:44,993 --> 00:09:48,870
for every extra
lumpette you eat.
184
00:09:48,947 --> 00:09:51,256
Mmm.
185
00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:52,916
Detention, is it?
186
00:09:52,927 --> 00:09:55,335
I guess we'll have
plenty of time to discuss
187
00:09:55,412 --> 00:09:58,755
the fate of your favorite
Vindicator, Black Voodoo.
188
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,841
(gasps) The champion
of the French Quarter.
189
00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:02,676
You wouldn't dare spoil
the only thing
190
00:10:02,752 --> 00:10:04,344
that brings me joy
in this world.
191
00:10:04,421 --> 00:10:05,637
Give me your toupee.
192
00:10:05,714 --> 00:10:07,681
(laughs) Toupee?
193
00:10:07,757 --> 00:10:09,942
I don't wear a toupee.
194
00:10:10,018 --> 00:10:12,185
We fade in on Bourbon Street...
195
00:10:12,262 --> 00:10:13,153
(gasps softly)
196
00:10:14,639 --> 00:10:15,772
(singing nonsense)
197
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,357
Ooh! (stammers, laughs)
198
00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:21,194
Principal Skinner. T-To what
do we owe the honor, sir, at--
199
00:10:21,271 --> 00:10:22,955
Oh, it's just you.
200
00:10:23,031 --> 00:10:25,699
Hey, how'd you get
all this stuff?
201
00:10:25,775 --> 00:10:27,450
'Cause people do whatever I say
202
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,411
or I spoil the Vindicators movie
for them.
203
00:10:29,487 --> 00:10:30,796
Like so:
204
00:10:30,873 --> 00:10:33,540
tell Mom it's okay for me
to have soda on my cereal.
205
00:10:33,617 --> 00:10:35,876
I don't know.
Mom's not gonna go for that.
206
00:10:35,952 --> 00:10:38,920
Okay. Get ready to hear
the surprise ending.
207
00:10:38,997 --> 00:10:41,139
Let me guess.
The good guys win.
208
00:10:41,216 --> 00:10:42,924
(gasps) Who told you?
209
00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:45,302
You can't spoil
that movie for me,
210
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,929
because I don't care
what happens.
211
00:10:48,006 --> 00:10:49,815
You see, as a grown-up,
212
00:10:49,892 --> 00:10:53,602
I know that muscle jerks
in tights with magic powers
213
00:10:53,678 --> 00:10:57,647
punching and hugging each other
is boring BS for babies.
214
00:10:57,658 --> 00:11:00,609
So go ahead,
tell me what Captain Doodad does
215
00:11:00,685 --> 00:11:01,827
to Zippity Whoever.
216
00:11:01,904 --> 00:11:03,737
Because it means nothing.
217
00:11:03,813 --> 00:11:07,824
(gasps)
My powers don't work on you.
218
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:11,336
But what if I could make them
work for you?
219
00:11:11,413 --> 00:11:15,290
Hmm. Your sinister tone
intrigues me.
220
00:11:15,367 --> 00:11:18,343
All-you-can-drink beers on me!
221
00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:19,511
OTHERS:
Yeah!
222
00:11:19,588 --> 00:11:21,513
But paid for by Moe.
223
00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:25,133
All right, I'm not even gonna
dignify that with a "Whaaa?"
224
00:11:25,210 --> 00:11:26,852
(zips)
225
00:11:26,929 --> 00:11:28,595
Do the thing, boy.
226
00:11:28,672 --> 00:11:30,022
No, no, don't ruin it, kid!
227
00:11:30,098 --> 00:11:31,932
I'm taking my girlfriend
to that movie
228
00:11:32,008 --> 00:11:34,017
when it gets
to the two-dollar theater.
229
00:11:34,028 --> 00:11:35,736
-(Bart chuckling)
-(zips)
230
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:41,700
(Homer groaning)
231
00:11:41,777 --> 00:11:43,911
What time did you get home
last night?
232
00:11:43,946 --> 00:11:45,987
Ugh, it's not my fault.
233
00:11:46,064 --> 00:11:47,781
Bart used his superpower
234
00:11:47,857 --> 00:11:50,700
to get me drunker
than I've ever beer.
235
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,453
(groans) I'm worried that
all this blackmail
236
00:11:53,530 --> 00:11:55,622
is turning Bart
into a bad person.
237
00:11:55,699 --> 00:11:57,549
(groans)
238
00:11:58,886 --> 00:11:59,876
(zips)
239
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:00,944
(yawns)
240
00:12:00,946 --> 00:12:03,046
What's the story,
morning glories?
241
00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:06,716
Young man, I don't like the way
you're using those spoilies
242
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,477
to boss people around.
243
00:12:09,471 --> 00:12:10,971
What?
244
00:12:11,047 --> 00:12:12,180
I was given an amazing power,
245
00:12:12,257 --> 00:12:13,715
so I'm using it.
246
00:12:13,792 --> 00:12:16,902
If you were in my suitcase,
you would do the same thing.
247
00:12:16,979 --> 00:12:21,481
Fans have a deep connection to
the Marble Cinematic Universe.
248
00:12:21,558 --> 00:12:24,910
I would never exploit that,
not for anything.
249
00:12:24,987 --> 00:12:28,238
Oh... wouldn't you?
250
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:31,208
("True" by Spandau Ballet
playing)
251
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,703
¶ ¶
252
00:12:34,779 --> 00:12:37,872
(American accent): Lisa Simpson,
I think your superpower
253
00:12:37,949 --> 00:12:39,416
must be stealing hearts.
254
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:42,335
OTHERS:
Aw...
255
00:12:42,412 --> 00:12:44,879
How do you feel
about exploitation now?
256
00:12:44,956 --> 00:12:48,341
(giggling): It's okay.
257
00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:50,885
(regular accent): How much
longer do I have to keep up
258
00:12:50,962 --> 00:12:52,771
this kookaburra charade?
259
00:12:52,848 --> 00:12:55,598
How badly do you not want
your bosses at Marble Studios
260
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:58,902
to know that I used your drunken
thumb to see that movie?
261
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,616
You think I'm your jolly
swagman, do you?
262
00:13:04,693 --> 00:13:06,526
Well, my jumbuck's gonna be free
263
00:13:06,603 --> 00:13:08,611
from your tucker bag
next Thursday,
264
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:12,198
when that movie goes wide
on every screen in creation.
265
00:13:12,275 --> 00:13:15,702
And after that, you're nothing.
266
00:13:15,779 --> 00:13:18,747
Let's get this party finished!
267
00:13:18,823 --> 00:13:21,207
(dance music playing)
268
00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,043
He's right.
269
00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:24,294
I'm running out of time.
270
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,755
This is... endgame!
271
00:13:26,831 --> 00:13:30,425
And so, today, we celebrate
the 200th birthday
272
00:13:30,502 --> 00:13:33,136
of our beloved oak tree,
Old Susie.
273
00:13:33,147 --> 00:13:36,639
Her stately branches
have shaded our town's weddings,
274
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:41,102
family reunions,
and quincen-- quincien--
275
00:13:41,179 --> 00:13:43,897
uh, Mexican bar mitzvahs.
276
00:13:43,973 --> 00:13:45,157
We're, uh, ow!
277
00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:46,232
(chuckling)
278
00:13:46,309 --> 00:13:49,444
Cover you ears!
It's Spoiler Boy!
279
00:13:49,521 --> 00:13:50,945
That's right. It's me.
280
00:13:51,022 --> 00:13:52,947
And if you don't want
the movie spoiled,
281
00:13:53,024 --> 00:13:55,116
you'll all pull together
and build me
282
00:13:55,193 --> 00:13:58,286
the ultimate tree house
of my own design.
283
00:13:58,363 --> 00:14:00,747
Right here in Old Susie.
284
00:14:00,824 --> 00:14:01,790
(all gasp)
285
00:14:01,866 --> 00:14:04,125
Not in Old Susie!
286
00:14:04,202 --> 00:14:06,503
Everyone in this town
loves that tree!
287
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,588
We have no choice.
288
00:14:08,665 --> 00:14:12,017
He's got us all
by the short and curlies.
289
00:14:12,094 --> 00:14:16,805
Unless the boy should meet
with an unfortunate accident.
290
00:14:16,881 --> 00:14:20,525
Oh. And if anything suspicious
should happen to me,
291
00:14:20,602 --> 00:14:23,853
I've hired the loudest man
in town to yell the ending
292
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:25,980
on every street corner.
293
00:14:26,057 --> 00:14:27,866
I'm on it!
294
00:14:27,943 --> 00:14:30,693
You have 24 hours
to build my tree house.
295
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,320
The clock is ticking.
296
00:14:32,397 --> 00:14:33,705
(laughs evilly)
297
00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:36,950
(gasps)
298
00:14:37,026 --> 00:14:37,876
(humming)
299
00:14:37,953 --> 00:14:39,494
Hey, buddy.
300
00:14:39,571 --> 00:14:40,662
You're out of the hospital.
301
00:14:40,738 --> 00:14:42,789
Don't you "Hey, buddy" me.
302
00:14:42,866 --> 00:14:44,883
You stole my visit
from Airshot.
303
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,876
You-- you villain!
304
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,721
Me, a villain?
No way.
305
00:14:49,798 --> 00:14:51,548
You just blackmailed
the whole town
306
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:52,891
to build you a lair.
307
00:14:52,968 --> 00:14:55,060
Okay. I will grant you
the optics on the lair
308
00:14:55,137 --> 00:14:56,728
are less than ideal.
309
00:14:56,805 --> 00:14:59,389
You have actual powers
which you use for evil.
310
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,900
You're a supervillain!
311
00:15:01,977 --> 00:15:04,853
You dare call me a supervillain?
312
00:15:04,929 --> 00:15:06,396
Then get a load of this:
313
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:09,649
the biggest spoiler
in the whole movie!
314
00:15:09,726 --> 00:15:11,693
BOTH:
Magnesium Man!
315
00:15:11,769 --> 00:15:12,911
Don't say another word!
316
00:15:12,988 --> 00:15:15,413
The fate of our universe
depends on it.
317
00:15:17,159 --> 00:15:18,458
(Bart screams)
318
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,372
(Bart groans)
319
00:15:24,449 --> 00:15:25,423
(yelps)
320
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,925
Where the hell am I?
321
00:15:27,002 --> 00:15:29,085
Relax there, Spoiler Boy.
322
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:31,254
All we did was take you
from your dimension into ours.
323
00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:33,506
You know, the Marble universe?
324
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:36,935
What you consider to be movies
make up our reality.
325
00:15:37,012 --> 00:15:39,771
No way. Superheroes aren't real.
326
00:15:39,848 --> 00:15:41,764
How dumb do you think I am?
327
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:44,943
(gasps)
Actual superpowers!
328
00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:47,112
Everything you see
in your Vindicator movies
329
00:15:47,189 --> 00:15:48,771
actually happens to us.
330
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,608
Even the post-credit sequences?
331
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,818
-Mm.
-We brought you here
332
00:15:53,895 --> 00:15:57,122
to see the result
of your selfish actions.
333
00:15:58,483 --> 00:16:00,792
Whoa! Airshot! Dead?
334
00:16:00,869 --> 00:16:02,294
But in the movie he lives.
335
00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:03,962
Wh-what happened?
336
00:16:04,039 --> 00:16:05,288
You happened!
337
00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:07,457
You son of a swamp witch!
338
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:11,628
You showed your Comic Book Guy
a spoiler
339
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:14,797
of Airshot using his breath
to save himself.
340
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:17,050
The powers of evil
in our dimension
341
00:16:17,126 --> 00:16:21,137
saw this and, so warned,
taped Airshot's mouth shut.
342
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:22,472
And killed him.
343
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,891
(whimpers)
I didn't know!
344
00:16:24,968 --> 00:16:27,485
I never dreamed that spoilers
really hurt people.
345
00:16:27,562 --> 00:16:31,489
But they do.
Spoilers kill!
346
00:16:31,566 --> 00:16:34,776
I love you, Airshot! (sobbing)
347
00:16:34,852 --> 00:16:36,736
The virtual reality's working.
348
00:16:36,813 --> 00:16:39,948
The kid has no idea
that this has all been fake.
349
00:16:40,024 --> 00:16:41,783
I can't believe he didn't notice
350
00:16:41,859 --> 00:16:43,826
that the dimensional portal
in his backyard
351
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:47,163
was just a garbage bag
full of glow sticks.
352
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:49,007
Tell me we're doing
the right thing.
353
00:16:49,084 --> 00:16:51,167
Tell me this is
Bart's best chance
354
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:52,835
to choose to be a good person.
355
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,754
Don't worry, Marge.
356
00:16:54,831 --> 00:16:57,757
No one's ever been hurt
by a little gaslighting.
357
00:16:57,834 --> 00:17:00,176
Remember how
you always say that?
358
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,844
Remember?
359
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,096
Mm-hmm.
360
00:17:03,172 --> 00:17:04,856
Oh, don't think of it
as gaslighting.
361
00:17:04,933 --> 00:17:06,849
Think of it as
an ultra-enhanced,
362
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,476
immersive fan experience.
363
00:17:08,553 --> 00:17:11,980
All this, just to keep
spoilers from leaking.
364
00:17:12,056 --> 00:17:15,200
Vindicators, colon, Crystal War, colon, Resurgence
365
00:17:15,277 --> 00:17:16,526
bombing at the box office
366
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,778
would have devastating
consequences.
367
00:17:18,855 --> 00:17:21,864
Failing theme parks,
unsold Halloween costumes
368
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,032
rotting on the docks,
369
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,377
mass suicides
by popcorn farmers;
370
00:17:25,453 --> 00:17:28,380
anything worse than a 55% hold
371
00:17:28,456 --> 00:17:29,956
on its second weekend,
372
00:17:30,033 --> 00:17:33,293
the global economy
collapses like a house of cards.
373
00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:35,837
Is that what you want,
little girl? Is it?
374
00:17:35,913 --> 00:17:37,297
(quietly):
No. No.
375
00:17:37,373 --> 00:17:39,215
Bart clearly feels bad.
376
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,967
Can't we let him out now?
377
00:17:41,044 --> 00:17:43,970
No. We have to be
absolutely sure.
378
00:17:44,047 --> 00:17:46,731
Increasing simulation intensity.
379
00:17:50,478 --> 00:17:52,645
Bring me the boy.
380
00:17:52,722 --> 00:17:53,822
(warriors snarling)
381
00:17:56,768 --> 00:17:57,817
Ahh!
382
00:17:57,894 --> 00:17:59,861
Remember, kid, no spoilers!
383
00:17:59,937 --> 00:18:01,696
Our universe depends on it!
384
00:18:01,773 --> 00:18:05,333
And don't pirate movies.
That hurts everyone.
385
00:18:08,071 --> 00:18:10,705
So, the boy who's seen
how all this ends.
386
00:18:10,782 --> 00:18:12,257
Tell me what you know,
387
00:18:12,334 --> 00:18:14,876
so I can use it
to destroy the Vindicators.
388
00:18:14,952 --> 00:18:18,046
In return, I will grant
your deepest desire:
389
00:18:18,122 --> 00:18:20,882
actual superpowers.
390
00:18:20,958 --> 00:18:22,842
BART:
Muscles...
391
00:18:22,919 --> 00:18:24,218
claws...
392
00:18:24,295 --> 00:18:25,553
bike!
393
00:18:25,630 --> 00:18:27,013
Real powers.
394
00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:29,607
That's even better
than spoiler powers.
395
00:18:29,684 --> 00:18:31,443
(chuckling)
396
00:18:31,519 --> 00:18:34,395
Oh, no. Our son is going
to choose evil.
397
00:18:34,472 --> 00:18:38,783
Oh, no! Our son is so stupid
he's going to fall for this!
398
00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:40,860
It doesn't matter
that's it not real.
399
00:18:40,937 --> 00:18:43,363
Bart's soul is at stake.
400
00:18:43,439 --> 00:18:47,575
Great emotion.
Talk about upping the ante.
401
00:18:47,652 --> 00:18:49,619
Tell me the spoilers, child.
402
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,297
And embrace your destiny
as a villain.
403
00:18:52,374 --> 00:18:53,581
Hmm.
404
00:18:53,658 --> 00:18:54,799
Airshot.
405
00:18:54,876 --> 00:18:56,709
All right.
406
00:18:56,786 --> 00:18:58,303
I'll tell you
what you have to do to win.
407
00:18:58,380 --> 00:18:59,629
-No!
-Uh-uh, kid.
408
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,806
Eat my shorts.
409
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,809
(grunts)
410
00:19:05,837 --> 00:19:07,145
No. No.
411
00:19:07,222 --> 00:19:09,189
-No...!
-(screams)
412
00:19:16,064 --> 00:19:19,607
Our son's a good guy!
A good guy.
413
00:19:19,684 --> 00:19:23,569
But he's still stupid.
So stupid...
414
00:19:23,646 --> 00:19:25,780
The kid turned down
actual superpowers.
415
00:19:25,857 --> 00:19:28,074
I think he'll
keep his mouth shut.
416
00:19:28,151 --> 00:19:30,118
Okay. We'll let him live.
417
00:19:30,194 --> 00:19:31,586
-(humming triumphantly)
-For now.
418
00:19:34,582 --> 00:19:35,673
(groans)
419
00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:37,417
Uh-- I'm back.
420
00:19:37,493 --> 00:19:39,836
I just hope it's not too late.
421
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,513
What day is it?
422
00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:44,849
Why, it's the Wednesday
before Memorial Day, it is.
423
00:19:44,926 --> 00:19:45,967
Then there's still time.
424
00:19:46,043 --> 00:19:47,677
The movie hasn't been spoiled.
425
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:48,686
Don't worry, son.
426
00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:51,356
Your secret I forgot
is safe with me.
427
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:54,517
I saved their universe.
I'm not a villain.
428
00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:57,353
I'm a superhero.
429
00:19:57,364 --> 00:20:00,648
-When can we tell him?
-Never.
430
00:20:00,725 --> 00:20:02,033
All right.
No one's gonna talk.
431
00:20:02,110 --> 00:20:03,109
The movie's safe.
432
00:20:03,186 --> 00:20:06,696
We'll let them live.
For now.
433
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,706
(minor key "When You Wish
Upon a Star" plays)
434
00:20:24,299 --> 00:20:25,223
I'm not a bad guy.
I'm a good guy.
435
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:28,676
I'll never spoil anything again.
436
00:20:28,753 --> 00:20:31,396
I'm a changed boy.
A changed boy.
437
00:20:31,473 --> 00:20:34,015
I always knew you had
the stuff of heroes.
438
00:20:34,091 --> 00:20:36,067
Just tell me, does Moby Man
take his place
439
00:20:36,144 --> 00:20:39,479
as the rightful sovereign
of Fishtonia?
440
00:20:39,555 --> 00:20:41,906
Does he? Bart!
Tell me!
441
00:20:41,983 --> 00:20:43,649
Stop your labors, good folk.
442
00:20:43,726 --> 00:20:47,862
Magnesium Man bless us,
every one.
443
00:20:47,939 --> 00:20:50,748
NARRATOR: And Bart was as good as his word.
444
00:20:50,825 --> 00:20:52,909
He kept his mouth shut.
445
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:55,920
So when everyone finally saw the movie on opening day,
446
00:20:55,997 --> 00:20:58,331
they were filled with joy.
447
00:20:58,407 --> 00:21:00,833
Then immediately got on their phones
448
00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:03,928
and spoiled it for everyone else.
449
00:21:10,011 --> 00:21:12,979
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
450
00:21:44,078 --> 00:21:45,970
Shh!
38742
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