All language subtitles for the.bold.type.s04e06.720p.web.x264-xlf

- Previously
on "The Bold Type."

- Dating is a real minefield
these days.

- If you were dating a woman
who was rich,

would you let her
pay for everything?

- Yeah, if it made her happy.

- I am not looking for
anything serious right now.

As long as I pick someone
that I have

no emotional connection to,

everything's gonna be fine.
It's just sex, you know?

- You said that there was
the possibility

of more verticals,
and I'm up for that challenge.

- Well, let's see
how your next piece does.

- No wonder she pushed back
on my brilliant wedding pitch.

Her marriage is falling apart.

- Ian and I are separating.

- I'm sorry to hear that.

- It's not about
the uniform or Babs.

It's about me and Richard.

Oh, wow.

Oh, my God, I got tagged
in the "Scarlet" bridal shoot.

- You're an influencer now.

[ambient music]

♪ ♪

- A vagina facial?

- Shh.

- Sorry.

- Now, does the facial
come with a vagina massage?

Because if it does, I'm in.

- That's a different
kind of spa, honey.

- Yeah, I read that it's
supposed to give you

"the confidence and glow
you didn't know you needed,"

but that feels unnecessary,
you know?

- Is any of this necessary?

- Yes.

If I could,
I would live in a spa.

- Well, thank you Sabrina George

for the free passes.

- Oh wait, stop, no spa pics.
It's too bougie.

- Shh.
- Sorry.

- So, Jane, how are you feeling

about that, uh,
wellness seminar, baby?

- Fine, nervous.

I just don't understand
why Jacqueline wants me

on a panel with a bunch
of CEOs and sex therapists.

- What are you talking about?

Your articles on that sex party
and tantric sex were great.

- And yet Jacqueline still
hasn't given me a vertical.

- Oh, she will.

- This is so nice.

- It really is.

- Hm, I had sex
with a dude last night.

- What?
- Get out.

All: Shh!

- Shh!

[upbeat music]

- So what does this mean?

- It means I was looking
for no-strings sex,

and with everything
that happened with Ellie,

I just decided to look for it
somewhere unexpected.

- Does this mean
you're not a lesbian?

- I'd say emotionally, yes,

I've only had
feelings for women,

but I've always loved
having sex with dudes.

- It sounds like
your heart is a lesbian,

and your vagina is bisexual.

- Or I'm Kat,
lover of human beings.

- So are you gonna see
this human being again?

- Cody?
Uh, yeah.

He left his watch
at my place, so...

- Oh, classic.
- Aha.

- He left his watch.

- Oldest trick in the book.
He likes you.

- No, he likes having sex
with me.

Big difference.

- Mm-hmm.

- All right, I'm calling it.

Wellness time of death
is 9:00 a.m.

- I think I need to do
a little more research

since I'm gonna be sitting
on that wellness panel.

And Tinier Jane has been
working overtime with Ryan

and needs a little R & R,

so think I might try
that "vagacial",

see what it's all about.

- Okay, have fun, Tinier Jane.

See you later.
- It's okay.

- How can you possibly think

that the Mets are better
than the Yankees?

- No, I didn't say better.
I said more loveable.

- More loveable...
What is more loveable

than a team that is
consistently excellent?

They've won 27 World Series...

- No, that's not love.
That is boring.

You know what love is?

It's drama and suspense
and hope and despair

all rolled up into one,
and that is the Mets.

- Wow, I think I just learned
so much about you.

- I once saw Derek Jeter
buy bananas at Whole Foods.

Made my week.

[punchy music]

♪ ♪

- You need to go after her.

- What?

- Do you really think
Derek Jeter

buys his own groceries?

- I'm not writing
a missed connection.

- Well, if you don't write one,
I will.

- Look, I appreciate
that you're taking an interest

in my personal life,
but if I'm meant to see

this woman again,
I'll meet her again.

- [laughs] No shit.

- That's weird.

- Andrew.

[quietly]
Who is that?

- [laughs]

- Oh, Dr. Alicia Golden.

- You look amazing as always.

- Well, thank you.

Oh, I am so glad this has
worked out for you to be

the keynote speaker
at our wellness seminar.

Top neurosurgeon
at Columbia Hospital.

- Any chance you're going
to the alumni mixer next week?

- Ugh, I wish I could.

My husband is working
in Ukraine,

so I've got the kids
and "Scarlet" and...

- Well, it is gonna be
a good one.

Chef Anita Lo is catering,

and Miles Shaw will be reading
from his new novel.

- Miles Shaw?

Wow, I have not heard
that name in forever.

- Was he in your class?

- One above.

Yeah, we dated, actually,
my junior year.

[laughs]

[warm ambient music]

♪ ♪

- What's the emergency?
- Oh, no.

Are you wearing
a pearl necklace?

- Yeah, not the fun kind.

- Okay, okay.
Why?

- Well, I had to switch
dinner with Richard's mom

to a Safford lunch
with Richard's mom

because of Oliver's schedule,
so what do we think?

- Is she June Cleaver?

- [sighs]

- Come on, honey,
just lose the cardigan,

unbutton your blouse,
and chill out.

She's cool, right?

- Yeah, I mean,
she's... you know, she's great,

but she's Richard's mom.
She's like a real mom.

I mean, no offense to Babs,
but this is the first time

we're hanging out alone, and I
really want her to like me.

It's fine.
I'm fine.

You know, everything's fine.

[high-pitched beeping]

- I gotta go, you know,
give the man his watch back.

- He left it on purpose.
- Okay.

[punchy beat]

♪ ♪

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- You will go on first,
of course, ten minutes.

And Kat,
our head of social media,

will give you the guidelines
of how to promote the event,

and of course,
there's always Andrew

if you have any other questions.

♪ ♪

- Who is that guy over there?

- Her TED talk has
more than a million views.

- Wait, is that her with Oprah?

- If you don't ask her out,
I am going to.

- Really?

- Hey, I saw you
downstairs at the café.

- [laughs] Yeah.

Yeah, that was me.
I'm Alex.

Alex Crawford.
- Alicia Golden.

But you already knew that.

[both chuckle]

Call me.

Let's get dinner.

[lively music]

[Alina Baraz's
"Lavender and velvet" plays]

- Hey.
What's up?

- My favorite customer.

- This is for you.

- Thank you, m'lady.

- Wow, had no idea
you were such a cheeseball.

- But totally endearing, right?

- Eh, if you wanna call it that.

[laughter]

- Beautiful and sarcastic,
a deadly combination.

- Hmm.

Hey, uh, is there any chance you

left that at my place
on purpose?

- No.
- Okay.

'Cause this is just sex.

- Yeah, I know.

I saw you break up
with that girl

right over there, remember?
- Mm.

- Ruthless.
- [laughs]

Got you laid though.

- ♪ I'll take you anywhere
you say ♪

- So just sex.

- Mm-hmm.

- Any sex?

- ♪ I wanna give you the world ♪

- Come here.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Let my love run wild ♪

- What do you want?
- Come here.

- [laughs]

- ♪ Let my love run wild ♪

♪ Let me, let me love you down ♪

♪ Whoa, let my love... ♪

- Maybe we could
change it up a bit.

- Hm, I like changing it up.

- I thought you would.

- What'd you have in mind?

- You could peg me.

- [quietly] Uh.

I'm sorry, what?

- Since this is just sex,
and we're having fun,

I thought maybe you
could use your strap-on.

- Oh, I don't have a strap-on.

- Okay, I just assumed...

- Because I sleep with women,
I would have a strap-on?

No, that's not really
how it works,

and, you know, there's plenty
of other ways to get off.

- Oh, you know I know that.

- [laughs]

- I just assumed 'cause
you're like this powerful boss

that you'd enjoy being dominant.

- Yeah, honestly, it's more of
a boss in the boardroom,

bottom in the bedroom
kind of situation.

But thanks for the offer.

- [laughs]

- I'm... I'm gonna have to go
back to work, though, so...

- Listen,

like, peg or no peg, I still
really wanna see you again.

- Yeah, me too.

- Just for sex.

- Absolutely.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Let my love run wild ♪

♪ ♪

- I'm so sorry
for having to change the plan.

- Oh, no, no,
please don't worry.

You're a busy woman.

I know 'cause I follow you
on instant gram.

- Oh.
[laughs]

It's actually Instagram,
but I like your way better.

And thank you,
every like counts.

- Well, I guess we all
like to be liked.

- Well, for me,
it's actually more about work.

- Oh, so this is part
of your assistance job?

- Uh, no, influencing is
actually a means to an end.

I'm trying to use it
to get a promotion.

- So if I understand correctly,
you take photos,

you post them, and then what?

- The more likes
and followers that I get,

the more influence I have.

- Influence over what?

- My... my followers.

- Oh, so you want them
to follow you

so that you can go and get
a promotion to what?

Oh, I'm sorry,
am I interrogating you?

- No, not at all.
These are great questions.

I guess the whole point is
for me to influence the people

who follow me to buy the things
that I post about,

so that the people at "Scarlet"
see me as being a commodity.

- So you're a saleswoman.

[punchy beat]

- More of a brand,
or trying to be.

- Well, it all seems
a bit silly to me,

but what do I know?

Let's have a look
at some wedding venues.

- Hi, Dr. Gerard, thank you
for calling me back.

- Sure.
What's going on?

- I need some advice again.

I went to the spa today...
- Uh-huh.

- And I decided to get
a vagina facial,

and something
doesn't feel right.

I know that having BRCA
makes you more prone

to get cervical cancer, so...

- Jane, it just sounds
like this facial

threw your pH levels off.

It's really nothing
to worry about.

- Are you sure?

- Mm-hmm, yep.
- Okay.

- Just don't be alarmed
if you experience

a slight discharge or odor
in the next few days.

- Excuse me?

- What kind of odor
are we talking about?

- Just your basic vaginal odor.

Jane, it's not a given.

It's just a possibility.
You'll be fine.

Listen, if you wanna come by
my office in the next few days

for a quick checkup,
my door is always open.

Oh, and Jane,
facials... for the face.

- Yeah, got it.

Thank you.

[punchy music]

♪ ♪

- Hey.

- Cody asked me to peg him.

- What?
- Yeah.

- How?

- You put on a strap-on,
and then you just...

- Well, I know what pegging is.

I was just more so asking,
like, how do you ask someone

you barely know to peg you?

- Leave your watch
at their place,

and then when they drop it off,
you say "Hey, wanna peg?"

- Hm, impressive.
- Yeah.

- What'd you say?
- I said no.

- Jane, come on, you know
I've never liked being dominant

in the bedroom,
and I'm not very good at it.

That's just not for me.

- I feel like this is different.

This is a dude.

Yeah.

- What... what are you doing?
Where are you going?

We're gonna go check out
the strap-ons

at the Pleasure Porium.

- Why?
Are you gonna peg Ryan?

- No, but you might peg Cody.
- I'm not gonna...

- So I think that we should go
and check out all your options

before you make a rash decision.

- Jane, I'm not gonna peg him.

[lively music]

- Totally fine.
Whatever you say.

But, you know, you might.

- All right, fine,
we can go shopping.

- [laughs]

- But it doesn't mean anything,
and text Sutton.

She'll be pissed
if she misses this.

You okay?
- Yeah, I'm just excited.

- So, where are you two going?

- You always wait a day
before you text.

- No.
Why do men think games work?

- Because they do?

- No, not on women like Alicia.

A woman like that
knows what she wants,

and that is you.

So call her.

[electronic beat]

- [sighs]

♪ ♪

- There, now how long
do you think

it's gonna take for her
to text me back?

[phone chimes]

That was fast.

- I love this woman so much.
You should take her to Lupe's.

- Mm...

[phone chimes]

She wants to go to Kokana.

- I heard that place is amazing.

- Yeah, but it's also booked up
for, like, a month.

I'm just gonna suggest Lupe's.

[phone chimes]

She's got Kokana.
7:30 tonight.

- Now that is how
the game is played.

♪ ♪

[hip-hop music]

Wow, look at all these
strap-ons.

- Is that a vein?
- Mm-hmm.

- How do you choose?

- Maybe it's like
a "Harry Potter" situation.

The strap-on chooses you.

- No, I mean, like,
what do you value?

Length or girth?

- Mm, you know, as the receiver,

I've always been
more of a girth girl.

- Right.

- But I feel like, as the giver,

which is still
a hypothetical by the way...

- Mm-hmm.

- It's probably length, yeah.
- Hm.

- What about ethnicity?

Would you say your member

is more African-American,
Caucasian...

- Mm, the flesh-colored ones
are kind of scary.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- I think,
if I were gonna buy one,

it'd be this one.

Look how cute it is.

[laughs]
- Pretty cute.

- See, it's not black.
It's not white.

It's not too masculine,
not too feminine.

It's got these cute, little
suspender straps

which I feel like would do
great things for my boobies,

and, um, you know.
It's just right.

Just Kat.
- Tiny Kat.

- Who are you calling Tiny?

- [chuckles]

- Hey, quick question,
do you think that they sell

anything here to get
the stick out of Claire's butt?

- Maybe.

[laughter]

Did lunch not go well?

- Uh, she thinks I'm a joke.

She kept asking me
what the point

of being an influencer is.

- Oh, well she
legit might not know.

- There was judgment.

- Mm-kay, well, what you
need to do is you need

to get a sponsor
for your wedding.

And that way you can show
old Claire how influential

her future daughter-in-law
really is.

What are you doing?
- You're buying this.

- What?
No, I'm not.

No, I am not.

- You have 14 days to return it
with a receipt.

- I haven't decided yet.

And how do you
know the return policy?

- Don't ask me questions.

Jane, are you coming?

- Uh, you guys go,
I'll catch up.

I'm just gonna do some browsing.

- Oh, okay.

Do you think she's buying
a strap-on for her and Ryan?

- Maybe.
So proud.

[lively music]

♪ ♪

- Jacqueline, your 1:00 p.m.
is in the conference room.

- Good.

I want any information
you can find for me

on the novelist Miles Shaw.

I want a full download
tomorrow morning

before the wellness seminar.

- Oh, uh, that's a pretty busy
time for you.

Maybe we should j...
- We'll set up a call.

- Oh, sure, no problem.

♪ ♪

- Ryan.
[coughs]

No, I'm so sorry.
I think I need to stay in.

No, no, no, no, no, no.
[coughs]

Don't come over.
[coughs]

Okay, yeah, okay,
I love you too.

Bye.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, this is Sutton Brady.
I'm an Instagram influencer.

I'm calling about sponsors

for my highly anticipated
upcoming wedding.

Thank you so much for your time.

[phone chimes]

- ♪ I leave a blaze
when I'm moving ♪

♪ You'll see me first ♪

- "Vaginal moisturizer
and lubricant."

"Vaginal perfume."

"Vaginal shea butter."

Who comes up with this stuff?

- Hi, I'm Sutton Brady.
I'm Instagram influencer.

Style by Sutton.
- Thank you for your t...

- ♪ I'm in control ♪

♪ Everywhere I go ♪

♪ I know, I know, I know ♪

- Hm.

- I am gonna sell
your product... hello?

Ugh.

[rock music]

- ♪ Everybody want what I got ♪

♪ Look all you want... ♪

- No, no.

♪ ♪

- Oh, thank... hello?
I...

♪ ♪

That wasn't very nice.

- ♪ I turn it out ♪

- That's... I'm... anyway, I...

That one was fair.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Everybody want what I got ♪

♪ Yeah, everybody want
what I got ♪

♪ ♪

[spray bottle hisses]

- [screams] No!

Ah, ah.

No, I did a bad thing.
I did a bad thing.

[punchy music]

- Hello.
- Hey.

- Hey, guys, uh, need your help.

Think I broke Tinier Jane.

Both: What?

- Okay, so you didn't buy
a strap-on for you and Ryan?

- What?
No.

- Oh.
- I...

Oh, gosh,
this is so embarrassing.

Okay, I... [clears throat]

after I got my "vagacial"...
- You got a yeast infection?

- Yes.
- Mm.

- And I was nervous
that it was gonna smell,

so I did something.

- You did all of the things.

- Mm, this one says
it makes your vagina

smell like
freshly baked cookies.

- But why?

- Because freshly baked cookies
is better than,

you know, this situation.

- That's why I just bake
cookies and then eat 'em

when I get a yeast infection.

- That is a million dollar idea.

- What... I'm sorry.

Why did I not know

that you guys get
yeast infections?

- Well, it's not something you
necessarily advertise like,

"Hey, everybody,
my vagina's making yeast!"

- Yeah, but we're not everybody.

I mean, we were
more than comfortable

talking about
what strap-on Kat would be.

Why aren't we
comfortable talking about,

you know, our problems
down there?

- It's the patriarchy, bro.

Get in our heads,
messin' with it.

- I just... the patriarchy hurts,
okay?

I can barely sit.

How am I gonna sit
on that panel tomorrow?

That's gonna be impossible.

- Okay, I have a plan.

We're gonna go to Duane Reade.

We're gonna get you
some real medicine.

We are gonna get you
some ice packs.

- Boxers... medicine.

- Boxers?

- Yeah, gotta let Tinier Jane
breathe, you know?

[exhales]
- I know, like...

- Please stop doing that.

- [exhales loudly]
- St... ah!

Stop talking
about Tiny Jane breathing.

- Oh.

- What?
- Oh, nothing, it's just work.

[lively music]

- Oh, no.

The panel
is gonna be livestreamed.

- Ah.

[romantic pop music]

♪ ♪

- Here's the thing,
my dad was taking me

to Yankee games
before I could even walk.

He actually claims to be

the first black
season ticket holder.

- He's like the Jackie Robinson
of baseball tickets.

[laughter]

So "Scarlet" must be
an interesting place to work.

- Yeah.

It was an adjustment coming
from "The Wall Street Journal,"

which was more my speed.

- Mm, believe it or not,
I actually like "Scarlet" more.

- But I did some amazing work

covering the Bloomberg
administration,

and I got to do a great series
on New York mob bosses.

- That's cool.

- Don't get me wrong,
I love "Scarlet," but...

[phone vibrates]

- I'm sorry.
I have to take this.

It's the hospital.

Dr. Golden here.

Sub-Q emphysema.

Yes, I'm at Kokana
across from Central Park.

I'll meet them out front.

I'm being called into surgery.

A car's gonna be here
any second.

- Everything okay?

- [chuckles] It's never okay

when I'm being called,
unfortunately

- Stupid question.

- No, it's not stupid at all.

A diplomat from Australia
got in a car crash.

It's really serious.

I'm so sorry.

I hate to just leave you,
but they requested me, so...

- Oh, don't worry about it.
You're a surgeon.

People need you.

- Uh, can I call you later?

Maybe we can reschedule
for another night?

- That'd be great.

Oh, actually,
I'll take the bill.

- Dr. Golden
took care of it, sir.

Would you like this to go?

- No, I'm fine, thanks.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- Guys, I can't even feel
Tinier Jane anymore.

- Here, here's this towel.

Put it between you
and the ice pack.

- How many times
have you done this?

- What's up?
- Too many.

- I won't ask.
- Thank you.

How was your date?

- Well, it wasn't boring.

- So do you think
you'll see her again?

- Actually, I don't think so.

I mean she's smart,
funny, good-looking,

and very successful.

- Why are you saying
that like it's a bad thing?

- Well, it's not bad,
just not great.

- Hm.
- Go on.

- Look, this is silly,
but I write articles

about dating while she
literally saves lives.

I just don't think
it's gonna work.

- So what I'm hearing is,
you're gonna walk away

from an incredible woman
because of your ego.

- What about all the stuff
that you said to me

about Richard, you know?

"Let him buy you
the sewing machine.

The power struggle
is in your head."

- That's different.
- Why, 'cause I'm a woman?

- That's not what I said.
- But that's what you meant.

- Why do I feel like
I need a lawyer?

- Maybe you do.

- Mm, I kinda get it.

But it's just fear.

You said that
this woman's great, right?

Cody's kind of great too,
but putting on a strap-on

and pegging him's really scary.

- I feel like
I missed something.

- But it's scary
because it's different

than what we were taught
to expect.

Patriarchy has taught us

that men are supposed
to be powerful,

women are supposed
to be submissive.

That's it.

So you feel like less of a man
without your power,

and I feel like
less of a woman with it.

- Mm-hmm.

- But that's trash.

[electronic music]

Okay.

Okay, I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna peg Cody.

- We goin' in!
- [laughs]

- Yeah,
I really missed something.

[upbeat electronic music]

- Ugh, I'm in more pain
than I was before.

- Oh, I'm sorry, baby.

It gets worse
before it gets better.

- Yeah, I just really hope
that the meds

the doctor prescribed
are gonna kick in soon.

- Just give it time.
- I don't have time.

The wellness panel
is in an hour.

I... I can't do it.

I can't sit in front
of people like this.

I have to tell Jacqueline.

How am I gonna tell her
that I have a yeast infection?

- [gasps] Yes.

- Hm?

- I got my first sponsorship.

- Hey, she popped
her sponsorship cherry.

Special.

- Hogsmith Beer,
not my first choice,

but I think Claire
will be impressed.

I'm seeing her later today.

We narrowed it down
to five venues.

- That's great.

Can we walk a little faster
just 'cause

I think it helps me?

Don't tell me you have
a yeast infection too.

- No.

- [gasps]
You're wearing the strap-on?

- I'm hard packin', baby.

[laughter]

- No way.

- Yeah, strapped it
to my inner thigh

just to feel the energy
between my legs.

I'd really like to slap it
on RJ's boardroom table.

- So did you tell Cody
you wanna peg him?

- Sure did.
He's coming over tonight.

- Hey.

[punchy beat]

Jane, listen, it's no biggie.

Just walk in there,
maintain eye contact, and say,

"Jacqueline,
I have a yeast infection."

[laughter]
- Oh, no.

- Oh, and make sure
that Dr. Golden has

an updated itinerary.

- Jacqueline,
I have Miles Shaw on the line.

- What?
Why?

- Because you asked me
to inquire about him

and told me to set up a call?

- A call for you and me,
so that you could share with me

whatever you
found out about him.

- Uh...

- Okay, just tell him that I'm...

Tell him I'm in a meeting.
- Oh, okay.

- And don't say when
or if I will call him back.

Go!
- Okay, sorry.

- Oh, my God.

Jane, hi, come in.
Please sit.

- Actually, I can't sit.
Uh... my... you know.

- Okay, then you just...

You... yeah, stand there.

So what's... what's up?

- I just wanted to tell you...

[lively music]

How...

Excited I am about
the wellness seminar and panel.

[chuckles]
Excited

- Well, that's good because
it's a really big deal,

and you're gonna be great, Jane.

You're gonna be really great.

[laughs]

- Thank you.
- Okay.

Good luck.

- I love this place.
I think it's so beautiful.

- Oh, it's my least favorite,

but I suppose there's a certain
charm to its simplicity.

- Um...

oh, I have really good news.

So, thanks to my
Instagram hobby,

there's a company
that wants to sponsor

all of the beer for the wedding.

It's called Hogsmith.
Isn't that great?

- Hogsmith.

- Yeah, it's not the best name,

but it's supposed to be
really good.

I'm really excited about it.

- I am happy to pay
for all the alcohol.

The champagne, the wine... you
don't have to settle for beer.

We can do much better.

- I like beer.

Richard likes beer.

- I'm just saying,
why not the best?

- What if I think
beer is the best?

- Hogsmith?
- Yes.

I... I'm not a fancy champagne.

I'm a craft beer
from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

I'm never gonna be
a fancy lawyer

with an Ivy League degree,
but I love Richard,

and Richard chose me.

Richard chose beer.

So...

[melancholic music]

I have to go.
I'm running late.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- The culture of wellness
is defined by our attitudes.

But there's a distinction
between good health

and the absence of illness.

- How's it going
back there, Jane?

- Good health is objective...

- I'm sorry.
I know how gross this is.

- It's not gross.

Dudes go around
scratching their balls

like it's nothing all the time.

- Yeah, why do we have to
pretend like we don't

have the urge to
itch the bitch, you know?

- Speaking of Richard's mother,

was she really that bad?

- We both were.
I should probably apologize.

- Bloating, fatigue,
low sex drive,

and so we look

to the wellness-industrial
complex for answers,

whether they are true...

- And that is the woman
who is responsible for this.

Sabrina George.

[sighs]

And I have to be
on a panel with her.

[laughs]
Yay.

- You don't have to talk
about your yeast infection.

Just stick to the original plan
from before the "vagacial".

- [sighs] Right.

I can do that.
I can do that.

[applause]

- Thank you.

- I'm gonna do that.

- Yeah.

- Sabrina George,
let's start with you.

Your spas are growing
throughout Manhattan.

And you've recently added

a "pampering your privates"
section

as well as a new line
of scented products.

- Yes.

Wellness starts at the top,
as we heard

from the incredible Dr. Golden,
and works its way down

to the bottom, which is where

we've been
focusing our efforts lately.

We believe that women should
feel confident down there.

- [clears throat]

- Jane Sloan, did you want
to say something?

- Um...

I... I was just gonna say, um,
I mean, why not

just use the word vagina?

I mean, why are we saying
"down there"?

We're all adults here.

- Um...

of course we can say the word.

[laughs]

I just feel that most women
prefer synonyms or innuendos.

Makes things
a little less embarrassing.

Am I right, ladies?

[applause]

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Thank you.

- Dr. Golden?

You were amazing up there.

- Thank you, and I'm so sorry
about last night.

- Oh, don't worry about that.
Everything's okay, right?

- Yeah, I mean, my patient's
got a long way to go,

but he's gonna be fine.

- That's great.

- And I'd love to
take you out to dinner again.

Make it up to you.

[tender pop music]

- I have a confession to make.

I find you intimidating.

You're amazing.

I mean, you're smart,
insanely successful.

As much as I want to be
the kind of guy who

isn't insecure about all that,
I don't know if I am.

- I get it.
You're not ready for me.

- [laughs] I wish I was.

- So do I.

- Our agenda has always been
to promote confidence and fun.

A dash of douche
makes the worries go down.

- Well, that's all
the time we have.

Thank you so much, ladies.

- Oh, just before you all leave,

I want you all to know
that the audience members

are going home
with a Sabrina George

gift package...

with all our latest therapies
for down there.

[excited chatter]

- Uh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
wait, stop.

- Yes, Jane?

- I'm sorry, I just have to say

vaginas aren't supposed
to smell like cookies.

They're supposed to smell
like vaginas.

I mean, yeah, I said it.

Vagina.

While the wellness industry
may have an agenda

to prey on your insecurities,
I'm a writer,

so I have a "vagenda"
to tell it like it is.

Yesterday I used
Sabrina George's products

because I wanted
to pamper myself down there.

And if I'm
being honest with you,

I have the worst yeast infection

I have ever had in my entire
life right now.

I mean, like, I should really
win a medal

for having to sit up here

for the past hour
without scratching.

[Oliva O'Brien's "Love Myself"]

The point is, I'm tired
of women feeling like

they have to be embarrassed
about this stuff.

We need to start talking
about it

because vaginas
all have their issues.

So who's with me?

- ♪ Why am I like this,
can somebody please tell me? ♪

♪ ♪

- Since having kids, I
pee myself every time I laugh.

- ♪ Don't even know
who I wanna be ♪

- I have a low-hanging labia.

I'm scheduled for
rejuvenating surgery next week

even though I don't want it.

- I have acne on my vagina.

- ♪ I need to ♪

♪ I need to love myself
I need to, I need to ♪

♪ I need to love myself
I need to ♪

♪ I need to love myself
I need to love myself ♪

♪ Oh no ♪

♪ ♪

- Claire,
what are you doing here?

- I want to apologize to you.

- Oh, no, I'm one who needs
to apologize.

I was being oversensitive.

- No, no, you weren't.
I had a tone; I felt it.

But I think it's because
I'm jealous of you.

- What?

- You know,
I loved raising Richard,

but I had to give up
my career to do it,

and letting go of my ambitions
is something

I still regret to this day.

But you, Sutton, you're
a successful young woman.

[tender music]

- I'm not successful.
I'm just an assistant.

- An assistant on your way
to amazing things.

I can tell.

And clearly so can Richard.

♪ ♪

- Thanks.

I really miss him.

Long distance is hard.

- I know.
It's hard for me too.

But I am going to throw you two
the best wedding

that you can imagine,
and if it means Hogwash beer,

so be it.

Welcome to the family, Sutton.

- Thank you.

It's Hogsmith, though,
just in case you hashtag it.

- I'm not gonna
hashtag it, sweetie.

- Okay.

- [chuckles]

[Lykke Li's "neon" plays]

[romantic pop music]

- ♪ I never love half-hearted
I'm down to get bruised ♪

♪ Who's gonna let go hardest?
We fight and we lose ♪

- What do you think?

- ♪ Another round,
another round in me, yeah ♪

- I think you look beautiful.

- ♪ Knock me down I don't care ♪

- How do you feel?

- Hm...

Powerful.

- Good.

You are.

Are you ready?

- No, but...

- ♪ In the nights we glow
we glow ♪

- Yeah.

- ♪ I'd rather cry all night,
night, night ♪

♪ Then let the feeling die,
die, die ♪

♪ Neon, neon, neon
I'm still holding on, neon ♪

[Tala Parx's "I Want You"
plays ]

- ♪ Ooh ♪

- It's gonna be fun.
I promise.

- ♪ Get your message ♪

♪ You won't just let me go
and let you down ♪

♪ I'm one of those
bad decisions ♪

- I don't wanna hurt you.

- You won't.

I trust you, Kat.

- ♪ One keeps me grounded
and one in the clouds ♪

♪ Contradicting the things
I thought I knew ♪

♪ So indecisive,
don't know what to do ♪

[both moaning]

♪ ♪

♪ Can you really blame me
wanting you? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And you, and you,
and you, and you ♪

♪ Can you really blame me? ♪

♪ ♪

- I trust you too.

- ♪ So far from grounded
and close to the clouds ♪

♪ Contradicting the things
I thought I knew ♪

♪ So indecisive,
it's so hard to choose ♪

♪ ♪

- Oh, my gosh,
you guys are so cute.

- She actually loved
Hogsmith beer.

- Oh, Jane, Jacqueline
wants to see you.

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Jacqueline?

- Ah, good, Jane.

What you did yesterday
on the panel

was very brave and inspiring.

- Thank you.

And, miraculously,
I am feeling better down there.

My vagina.

- [laughs]
Well, that is good to know.

- [laughs]

- And you know
what else is good?

- What?

- Your "vagenda" speech

caught the attention
of Forbes magazine.

Between that and your
great, honest work lately,

they are nominating you
as a possible candidate

for their "30 Under 30" issue.

Congratulations.

- You're serious?
- Yes.

Taking risks really pays off,
doesn't it?

- Yes it does.
Thank you so much.

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Andrew.
- Yeah, hi, hi.

- I'd like you to get Miles Shaw

on the phone for me please.

- Miles Shaw on the phone.

- Yes, for real this time.

- On-on-on
the phone... on the phone.

- Oh, my God, how was it?

- Was it great?

- It was.

- Are you gonna do it again?
Are you, like, a pegger now?

- [laughs]

You know, it was different than
what I thought it would be.

- Different good or bad?

- Good.

Good, but...

- Butt indeed.

I'm just kidding, sorry.

I just had to.

- I just... I guess I just
thought it would be,

you know, sexual
and physical and primal.

- And it wasn't?

- No, it was, but it was
also intimate, you know?

And I don't know if that was
just because

I was in a place of power
and he was vulnerable,

or if I maybe caught a feeling,
or just, like,

half a feeling... calm down.

But we connected.

You know?

Like, really connected,
like eye-contact.

- Mm.

- It was weird.

I've never had
that with a guy before.

- Well, it's like you said,
you're a lover of people.

- Yeah, yeah.

But I also think
that maybe it's more than that.

Um, maybe I might be bisexual?

And you guys know I hate labels,

but this one feels important
right now

to own the space I'm in

and to make sense of it.

- If you need a label,
pick a label, any label.

- Thank you.

- Bisexual, lesbian,
queer, Kat...

We love all of them as long
as you're just being you.

- [laughs]

[Maggie Rogers'
"Back in My Body" plays]

- ♪ This time I know
I'm back in my body ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪