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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,600 CHURCH BELL TOLLS 2 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,280 Bah! 3 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,880 Humbug! 4 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,320 CLOCK CHIMES 5 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,520 Hush, confounded chimes! 6 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:43,800 Wherever I go, all I see is this clock, staring back at me. 7 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,640 No good in funerals. 8 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,480 Marley wouldn't have approved, himself. 9 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:53,680 Waste of money! 10 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,120 Waste of time! 11 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,440 Hey! Hey! 12 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:00,080 - Oh! - Get off! 13 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:03,280 - All right, everyone out. - Who are you? 14 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,600 Head of the BBC. 15 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,720 - That was a Twix. - Get out! 16 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:08,880 All right. Plan B it is. 17 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,520 - Coats. - Yes! 18 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,080 - What are you doing? - You said I'd be taking over as Scrooge. 19 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,320 No, I'm playing Scrooge, that's why I've got the notes. 20 00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:24,400 You're playing the Ghost Of Christmas Yet To Come. 21 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:25,520 He doesn't have any lines. 22 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,520 The cast said they'd walk if you played Scrooge! 23 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,240 What, the whole cast?! I'm the leading actor! 24 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:32,880 No, you're the worst actor in the company. 25 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,320 - AUDIENCE: - Aww! 26 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,600 Auntie Diana, you promised. 27 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,040 Just hurry up. 28 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,160 Well, you'll have to do it over the phone, then. 29 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,720 - Annie. Annie! - What? What? 30 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,480 - I can't remember any of my lines. - Again?! 31 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:44,800 It's the nerves. 32 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:45,920 Come with me. 33 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,600 - What if you become ill? - I won't! 34 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:48,760 What if you get injured? 35 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:51,880 I would have to be completely incapacitated to pull out now. 36 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:57,520 - THOUGHTFULLY: - Really? 37 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,800 ALL SHOUTING 38 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,640 Give it here. Just stop, stop! 39 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,680 Good evening, BBC viewers. Unfortunately, 40 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,080 the cast of A Christmas Carol have all been taken ill. 41 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,760 SHOUTING, FEEDBACK. 42 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:16,040 But don't worry, the Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society 43 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,960 happened to be passing by, and will be filling in, 44 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:23,520 with special guest narrator, Sandra's aunt, Dame Diana Rigg. 45 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,440 Please enjoy A Christmas Carol. 46 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,640 CHURCH BELL TOLLS 47 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,520 Bah. 48 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,080 Humbug! 49 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:11,400 MUFFLED CLOCK CHIMES 50 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,520 Hush, confounded chimes! 51 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:25,520 Everywhere I go, all I see is that damn clock. 52 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,320 Everywhere I go... 53 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,240 ..all I see... 54 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,040 ..is that damn clock... 55 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,760 ..staring back at me! 56 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:41,320 Ha! 57 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,680 No good in funerals, anyhow. 58 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,360 Marley wouldn't approve, himself. 59 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,400 Waste of money. Waste of time. 60 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,080 Marley was dead to begin with. 61 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,960 There was no doubt whatever about that. 62 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:17,120 The register of his burial was signed by the solemn undertaker, 63 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:22,400 and of course, the only mourner, his partner, Mr Scrooge. 64 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,080 HE GRUNTS 65 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,200 HE GRUNTS 66 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,440 HE SPLUTTERS 67 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,000 Auntie Diana, you're on. Go! 68 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:05,240 On Christmas Eve, Scrooge walked into his counting house. 69 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,600 He was a tight-fisted hand on the grindstone, 70 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:14,840 a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping covetous old sinner, 71 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:17,120 who was as hard as flint. 72 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,760 The weather was biting, 73 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:23,000 but cold and heat had little influence on Scrooge. 74 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,400 No warmth could warm him. 75 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,760 No wintry weather could chill him. 76 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:33,400 No wind that blew was bitterer than he. 77 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,960 Get off! 78 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,040 Stop it! Stop it! Stop! 79 00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:42,400 - PUNCH - Ow! 80 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:46,360 There was not a man, woman, or child in London 81 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:50,000 who chose to walk close to Scrooge in the street. 82 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,160 - Oh! - Get off! 83 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:53,640 Get off! 84 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:57,440 But as long as he was able to go about his business with thrift, 85 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,640 and count his coins, what did Scrooge care? 86 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,000 Merry Christmas, Mr Scrooge. 87 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:10,400 Oh! 88 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,720 Merry Christmas, Uncle. God save you. 89 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,840 Bah, humbug. 90 00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,800 Christmas, a humbug? 91 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,200 Uncle, och, you don't mean that, I'm sure. 92 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,320 I do, Frances. What's Christmas but another time 93 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,760 to find yourself a year older, and not an hour richer? 94 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:31,360 Every idiot who goes about with "Merry Christmas" on his lips 95 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,520 should be boiled in his own pudding, 96 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,320 - and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. - Oh! 97 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,720 Wipe that stupid smile from your face. 98 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:42,360 I have every reason to smile, Uncle, and make merry at this time of year. 99 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:46,320 What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough. 100 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,680 What reason have you to be dismal? You're rich enough. 101 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:53,240 What else can I be while I live in such a world of fools as this? 102 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:57,040 Why is one a fool for wishing her uncle a Merry Christmas? 103 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,960 - Because it does you no good. - Does me no good? 104 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:03,880 It is the one time in the long calendar of the year 105 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:08,520 when men and women can open their shut-up hearts freely, 106 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:14,280 and hold out their hands to those below them as their true companions. 107 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:15,440 Fine speech, Frances. 108 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:16,800 You belong in Parliament. 109 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:17,920 Christmas, Uncle, 110 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:21,800 though it has never put a scrap of gold in my pocket, has done me good, 111 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,200 and will do me good, and I say God bless it. 112 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,840 Miss Frances. 113 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,680 What a pleasure it is to see you. 114 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,920 Well, Merry Christmas, Bob Cratchit. 115 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,240 A Merry Christmas to you, too! 116 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,600 We hear a knock at the door. 117 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,240 KNOCK AT DOOR 118 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,160 Oh, a knock at the door! 119 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,120 Oh, that must be the lovely couple raising money for the orphanage. 120 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,560 What merry, bold and charitable souls they are. 121 00:07:55,840 --> 00:08:00,240 Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr Scrooge or Mr Marley? 122 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:04,360 Mr Marley died seven years ago this very day. 123 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,320 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 124 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,480 We're raising money for the orphanage 125 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,520 to care for the sickly and make provision for the poor, 126 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,480 like young Jane, here. 127 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,840 - On the shelf, Bugsworth. - Yes, Mr Scrooge. 128 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,520 Ah! Merry Christmas, Miss Frances. 129 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,040 And to you. 130 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,320 Ah, let me help you, Mr Scrooge. 131 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,520 Oh, no! 132 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,920 He's completely incapacitated. Don't worry, I'll step in. 133 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:34,880 - I'm fine! - Humbug! 134 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,360 Get out, Bugsworth! 135 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:42,040 What shall I put you down for, Mr Scrooge? 136 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,160 - Nothing. - You wish to be anonymous? 137 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,320 I wish to be left alone and keep my money. 138 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,920 What would you want for the needy? 139 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,400 That they should die and decrease the surplus population! 140 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,360 I have not much in my coin-purse. 141 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,680 Fear not, Mr Cratchit. 142 00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:03,720 You are poorer than most. 143 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:08,400 But what little I have...you are welcome to. 144 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,800 I'm afraid there is only a single penny I have saved. 145 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,120 You would part with your only coin? 146 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,200 Yes! 147 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,480 Do you not need it for your family? 148 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,800 No. 149 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:32,960 Thank you, Mr Cratchit. 150 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,520 You'd give all you have to charity. 151 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,200 No. 152 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,920 No? 153 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,760 You don't want to give to charity? 154 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,360 Yes. 155 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,240 Are you sure? 156 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,040 No... 157 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,680 You have to make a choice. 158 00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:52,080 Make a choice. Will you give them the coin? 159 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:56,880 Yes. 160 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,640 Thank you! 161 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,200 This bag was made in China. 162 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,520 God bless you, Jane. 163 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,120 May the generosity of goodly people of London Town 164 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,000 keep you merry this Christmas. 165 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,360 Merry Christmas, Miss Frances. 166 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,880 Merry Christmas, Mr Cratchit. 167 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,720 And to you! 168 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,920 Don't be cross, Uncle. 169 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,840 Say you'll come and dine with us tomorrow. 170 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,440 No, Frances. I shall spend Christmas alone. 171 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,200 Kindly keep Christmas in your own way, 172 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,880 - and let me keep it in mine. - Keep it? But you don't keep it! 173 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:38,760 Let me leave it alone, then. 174 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,600 Very well, Uncle. If you change your mind, 175 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,200 you have our address. 176 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,080 CHAIR CLATTERS 177 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,600 Merry Christmas. 178 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,480 CHAIR CLATTERS 179 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,280 Sorry... 180 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:29,800 Sorry... Can we just...? Look... 181 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,600 OK, Jane. 182 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,880 And the coat. And the coat. 183 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,160 Just... 184 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,040 Don't look, Bob, don't look! OK. 185 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,000 Right. 186 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,280 Just get my coat... 187 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,160 OK. 188 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,080 Right. Open the door, open the door. 189 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,600 Open the door. 190 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:55,320 OK. OK. 191 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,520 And a merry Christmas to you, Bob Cratchit! 192 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,080 You'll want all day tomorrow, I suppose? 193 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,880 If it's quite convenient, sir. 194 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,480 It's not convenient, Bob Cratchit! 195 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,640 Christmas comes but once a year. 196 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:21,600 Look outside at the people going about their business with glee. 197 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,560 This is not a time for money but for family, 198 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:28,280 and mine would appreciate me home, sir. 199 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:31,120 Spare me your foolish humbug, Cratchit. 200 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,040 I... 201 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,400 I... I... 202 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,760 I... 203 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,600 I... I...erm... 204 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,080 I... 205 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,200 I am not a rich man! 206 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,840 BOOKS CLATTER 207 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,600 If I can spend Christmas with my family, 208 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,400 I would be content to... 209 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,480 ..gnaw... 210 00:12:55,840 --> 00:13:01,160 ..upon a bone, or sleep on a bed of...warts. 211 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,840 Fine, Cratchit, take the whole day. 212 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,840 Uoy sselb! 213 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,760 Bless you. 214 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,160 Thank you. 215 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:24,840 Humbug! 216 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,920 But be here all the earlier the next morning! 217 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,720 Wang! 218 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,360 OWL HOOTS 219 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,000 Jacob Marley? 220 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,440 Scroo... 221 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,520 KNOCKER CLATTERS 222 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,240 - MUFFLED: - Scrooge... 223 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,720 Humbug. 224 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,880 Scrooge, shaken by the vision, 225 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:35,560 went to search the rooms of his house for signs of an intruder. 226 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:50,760 Finding nothing untoward, he returned to his bedroom, 227 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:55,200 secure in the knowledge the house was completely empty 228 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,080 other than Scrooge. 229 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,640 SPLAT 230 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,600 BELLS JANGLE 231 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:23,160 I'll get it! 232 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,400 - EERILY: - Scrooge... 233 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,040 Who's there? 234 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:34,240 Ebenezer Scrooge... 235 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,160 Humbug! 236 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,600 THUNDER CRASHES 237 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:46,160 What trickery is this? Who are you? 238 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:50,200 In life, I was your partner, Jacob Marley. 239 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,760 You don't believe in me? 240 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,520 I do not! 241 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,200 Why do you doubt your senses? 242 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,240 Because a little thing affects them. 243 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:03,280 You may be an undigested bit of beef. 244 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,960 A blot of mustard. 245 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:09,480 There's more of gravy than a grave about you. 246 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,040 Wah... 247 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,040 THUNDER CRASHES 248 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:20,360 That's it, you dreadful apparition. Why do you trouble me? 249 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,280 If a spirit goes not forth in life, 250 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:27,680 it is condemned to do so after death. 251 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:31,640 I am doomed to wander through the world 252 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,800 and witness what I cannot share. 253 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:39,000 I wear the chain I forged in life. 254 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,280 I made it link by link 255 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,080 and yard by yard. 256 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:53,680 You must listen! My time is nearly gone! 257 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,960 CRASH! 258 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:01,640 Oh, how I wish I could cast off these cursed chains! 259 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:09,760 I am made captive by my deeds but, like me, Scrooge, 260 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,240 you have girded yourself a great chain 261 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,120 which in time shall hang heavy around you. 262 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,560 DOOR RATTLES 263 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,840 Stay away, vile spirit! 264 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,640 I wish to see no more of you! 265 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,280 DOOR RATTLES 266 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:27,200 - Unlock the door! - Be gone! 267 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,280 DOOR RATTLES 268 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,760 Undo the bottom one. 269 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:40,040 You will be haunted by three spirits. 270 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,160 Without their visits, 271 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,480 you cannot hope to shun the path I tread. 272 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:54,080 Expect the first when the bell tolls one. 273 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,760 Farewell, Scrooge! 274 00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,920 - ECHOING: - Scrooge... 275 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,440 Scrooge was left alone again. 276 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:20,080 He looked out through his window, which was locked shut, 277 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:24,440 undisturbed, just as it was before the ghost arrived. 278 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:29,200 Resolved to forget what he had experienced, 279 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,600 Scrooge went to bed 280 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,720 and blew out the light. 281 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,520 CLOCK CHIMES 282 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:23,200 Are you the spirit whose coming was foretold to me? 283 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,680 I am! 284 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,400 Who and what are you? 285 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,680 Come close and I shall tell you. 286 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:42,640 I am the ghost of Christmas Past. 287 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,280 I shine with the light of a thousand Christmases gone. 288 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,160 I have never seen your like before. 289 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:50,560 May I look closer? 290 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,080 No, no, no! Oh! Oh! 291 00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:00,480 By my light you shall see the truth of your past. 292 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,080 Take me in your hand, Scrooge. 293 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,960 WIND WHISTLES 294 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,880 HE GASPS 295 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:10,760 Your past is hidden beyond these walls. 296 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,760 Step through with me. 297 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:15,120 I am mortal, Spirit. I cannot. 298 00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:17,800 By my light, you shall. 299 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,720 Humbug! 300 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,960 HE GROANS 301 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,760 This way, Mr Scrooge. 302 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,040 Ohh! 303 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,800 And with that, Scrooge and the spirit 304 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,240 disappeared from his bedroom. 305 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,680 Tip me through. 306 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:38,840 Just go. 307 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:42,040 Tip me. Tip me. Tip me! 308 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,880 HE STRAINS 309 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,560 You're not moving. 310 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,920 - Have we disappeared? - Yes. Shh! 311 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:55,880 And Scrooge found himself soaring over open fields and woodland. 312 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,680 Oh, I'm not sure, Spirit. May we not fall? 313 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,720 We shall not, Mr Scrooge. 314 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,680 Where are you taking me? 315 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:08,240 My light shall show you the man you once were. 316 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:19,560 MAN MUMBLES 317 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,400 Welcome to Greenscreen 1-2-3, 318 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,360 where, with just one click, 319 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,840 you can be on a beach... 320 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,760 ..or at the Eiffel Tower. 321 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,800 Overlay your own exciting footage. 322 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,840 - I think Robert would make a great leading actor. - Oh, come on! 323 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,880 It's Ebenezer Scrooge, not Ebenezer Huge! 324 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,360 Ow. 325 00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:54,880 Ow! 326 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,120 Agh! Stop it! 327 00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:00,880 Stop it! Ow! Stop it! 328 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,720 Get off! 329 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,240 Get off! 330 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,000 - < - Oh! 331 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,360 - Oh, no! - Agh! 332 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,840 - Oh, now he's completely incapacitated. - I'm not! 333 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:17,600 - Humbug! - I'm fine! 334 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,760 I want to be in a grown-up relationship. 335 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,600 I don't want to be dating Max any more. 336 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,960 When are you going to do it? 337 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,600 - After we finish Christmas Carol? - Yeah. 338 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,600 HE SIGHS 339 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,240 Good heavens. 340 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:53,880 I know this place. 341 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,760 I grew up here. 342 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,840 This is where Belle and I would court. 343 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,240 And there we are. 344 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,680 I'm sorry, Ebenezer. We cannot be together any longer. 345 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,320 Why, my love? 346 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,480 Another idol has displaced me that you love more. 347 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,560 Who is this idol you speak of? There is no-one else. 348 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,680 The pursuit of wealth and gain engrosses you. 349 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,680 I don't understand. 350 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:28,360 You have grown hard and unfeeling, like your partner Mr Marley. 351 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:30,960 Please don't leave me. 352 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,080 Our contract is an old one, 353 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,360 made when we were both poor. 354 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,320 I can change. 355 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:38,920 You are changed. 356 00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:42,280 When it was made, you were a different man. 357 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:47,720 I release you with a heart full of love for the man you once were. 358 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,600 Goodbye, my dearest. 359 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,080 Good... 360 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,440 Goodbye, my dearest! 361 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:04,000 Oh, Spirit, why do you delight in torturing me? 362 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,520 Dry your tears, Ebenezer. 363 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:10,240 You must to bed before the other spirits arrive. 364 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,440 CLOCK CHIMES 365 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,000 Oh! Sorry, mate. 366 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:23,560 And just as Jacob Marley said, 367 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:25,440 upon the stroke of two... 368 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,520 CLOCK CHIMES 369 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:32,600 ..Scrooge heard the merry sound of laughter. 370 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,200 - WAVERING: - Ho-ho-ho... 371 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,760 - Hello, Scrooge. - Who are you, Spirit? 372 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,680 I am the ghost of Christmas Present. 373 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:50,400 I am cheer, I am joy, I...am Christmas. 374 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,960 Come, and know me better, man. 375 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,720 Oh, Spirit, 376 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,880 I have seen enough for one night. 377 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,360 I cannot bear another heartbreak. 378 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:02,000 I beg you, leave me be. 379 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,480 Haunt me no longer. 380 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,920 Humbug! 381 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:09,200 MUFFLED GROANS 382 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,320 Haunt me no longer. 383 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,840 - No, me. - Get off! - Me! 384 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:19,520 Worry not, Scrooge. 385 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,200 Your journey with me shall not be one of heartbreak 386 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:23,920 but of mirth. Now, come. 387 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,200 You look hungry. 388 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:26,880 What is all this? 389 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:29,400 Why, it is the bounty of Christmas. 390 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,280 Ho-ho-ho! 391 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:32,880 I don't believe... 392 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,720 ..you have merely come to feed me. 393 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,120 Tell me, Spirit, the purpose of your visit. 394 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:40,160 Each year, you have shunned the present, 395 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,400 but this year you will mark the lessons it holds. 396 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,080 CLATTER AND GROANING 397 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:46,520 Very well. 398 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,200 Conduct me where you will. 399 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,040 If you have aught to teach me, 400 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,840 I shall listen and profit by it. 401 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,560 Then follow me to the street, Scrooge. 402 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,320 Show me something I may smile upon. 403 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,960 - GASPS: - Jacobi! - Ho-ho-ho-ho! 404 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,480 DART WHIZZES 405 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,360 Oh, come now, he's completely incapacit... 406 00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:10,080 Oh, for God's sake! 407 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:11,720 Right, come on, Jacobi. 408 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,360 Come down to the street, Scrooge, 409 00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:17,160 and see how the goodly people celebrate Christmas, 410 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,720 a day where all mankind can forget their position 411 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,680 and go about with glee and good tidings, 412 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,800 masters and servants, judges and scoundrels, 413 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:30,800 landlords and lodgers can all make merry together 414 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,800 and wish each other well. 415 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,760 Do you recognise this house, Scrooge? 416 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,920 Why, 'tis Bob Cratchit's house, for sure. 417 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,040 Here comes his youngest, Tiny Tim, 418 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,280 walking home. 419 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:47,480 Ah, Tiny Tim, the sweetest, dearest boy that there ever was. 420 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,520 Ho-ho-ho! 421 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,480 Come, Scrooge, look through the window and observe 422 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,400 how these humble folk live. 423 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,920 I've had the children clean up before we eat. 424 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,400 What will we be having for Christmas dinner, Bob? 425 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,520 Bob? 426 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,000 A goose! 427 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,720 Oh, Bob, you saved up for it! How wonderful. 428 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,200 Anything for you, my sweet? 429 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,120 A drop to drink? 430 00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:42,800 Oh, why, thank you. How was Tiny Tim at church? 431 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,600 As good as gold and better. 432 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,320 He told me coming home 433 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,520 he hoped people saw him because he was a cripple 434 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,280 and it might be pleasant for them to remember upon Christmas Day 435 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,320 who made lame beggars walk and blind men see. 436 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,360 Enough wine for you, my dear? 437 00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:58,800 Plenty. 438 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,440 I pray for him every day. 439 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,000 Here he comes now. 440 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,440 Hello, Mama! 441 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,360 Tim! Come here, my little boy. 442 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,120 Lift me in your arms, Papa. 443 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:28,800 We... 444 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,240 Oh, Tim, you do look frail of late. 445 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,040 I am frail. 446 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:36,720 Frail and ill. 447 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,000 Atchoo. 448 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,560 Uoy sselb! 449 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,720 Sit up to the table, my little Tim. 450 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,360 Oh, Mama. 451 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:02,520 Now...let...us...raise...a ...glass...to... 452 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:06,360 ..Mr Scrooge, the...founder...of...the... 453 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:09,800 ..feast. 454 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,960 The founder of the feast indeed. 455 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:16,240 That hard, unfeeling scoundrel is the cause of our suffering! 456 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,680 Mr Scrooge has not the kind family I have. 457 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,360 - I pity him. - Hmm. 458 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:22,960 Alone on Christmas Day. 459 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,800 We maybe poor but we are rich in company, eh, Father? 460 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:28,320 Oof! 461 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:32,000 There is the wealth Mr Scrooge may never know. 462 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:36,400 To Mr Scrooge. 463 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,600 BOTH: The founder of the feast. 464 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:39,920 God bless us... 465 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,200 Good bless us every one. 466 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,720 A remarkable boy. 467 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,520 Tell me, Spirit, if Tiny Tim will live. 468 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:55,600 I see a vacant seat and a crutch without an owner. 469 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,960 Do I really pay Bob so poorly? 470 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,680 They have such a meagre feast... 471 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:03,840 ..but what a fine family they are. 472 00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,560 Tiny Tim is such a brave boy. 473 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:12,080 Mrs Cratchit such a loyal and devoted woman. 474 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,760 But they should get on with dying and decrease the surplus population, 475 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,320 should they not? 476 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:18,960 What more can you afford to pay? 477 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,440 I don't only care about myself, do I? 478 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:24,280 Come, there is more to see. 479 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:27,360 Do you recognise this house, Scrooge? 480 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,880 It belongs to my niece, Frances. 481 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:31,480 There she is now. 482 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:32,920 Erm... 483 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,200 Oh, dear. 484 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,800 It looks like they've got the decorators in. 485 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:44,440 I'm sure they'll be done any moment now... 486 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,920 ..and there we are, they're done! 487 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,360 THEY ALL LAUGH 488 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:55,080 Is it a vegetable? 489 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:58,160 - Not a vegetable, no. - Mineral, then? 490 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,760 Not a mineral, which leaves you with...? 491 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,360 - Animal. - Quite so. 492 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:05,880 - Alive? - More or less. 493 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:07,760 Oh, my dear Frances. 494 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,920 Why must you always be so cryptic? 495 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,880 Is this animal disagreeable or friendly? 496 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,240 Oh, disagreeable, for sure. 497 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,400 - Does it growl? - Sometimes. 498 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,640 - Is it found in England? - It's found in London, Topper. 499 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:24,840 A horse. 500 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,880 No, but it says "nay" more than a horse does! 501 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:35,960 - Is it a pig? - Is it a fox? 502 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,600 Is this animal domesticated? 503 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,120 Mmm, hardly. 504 00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,800 Frances, I know what it is. 505 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,360 HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 506 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:52,920 A disagreeable creature but none of these - it is your uncle, 507 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:57,320 - Ebenezer Scrooge. - It is! It is! Oh, bravo, Topper! 508 00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:58,880 Oh... 509 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,520 A disagreeable creature. 510 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,000 Is that what they think? 511 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,480 And a growling one. 512 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:09,360 But what does Scrooge care what these fools believe? 513 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,120 I don't care. 514 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:12,800 Indeed. 515 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:15,560 More or less dead, hardly domesticated. 516 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:17,520 What childish blabber. 517 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,560 I care perhaps a little. 518 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:24,080 The time has come for me to away and let in another spirit 519 00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,080 before Christmas Day... 520 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:33,000 - It's all right. - I'm sorry. - It's all right. - Sorry. Sorry, mate. 521 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,440 CLOCK CHIMES 522 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,160 Oh... 523 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:49,640 Sorry, mate. Sorry. 524 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,360 HE GASPS 525 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:31,200 HE GASPS 526 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,520 Come on! 527 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,400 Come on... 528 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,040 HE GROANS 529 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,200 RASPING BREATHS 530 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,920 Are you a ghost... 531 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,120 ..of Christmas Yet-To-Come? 532 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:35,640 Sandra? 533 00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,840 I've got good news. That agent just called. 534 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:44,520 He's going to take me on. 535 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:46,440 He said the exposure from Christmas Carol 536 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,600 will easily get me that advert. 537 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:52,720 We'll never have to work with this bunch of freaks again. 538 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,280 I don't suppose anyone will attend the old goat's funeral. 539 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:25,720 He never gave a penny to charity. He stole from the poor. 540 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:29,280 Selfish. 541 00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:38,440 Spirit, show me some tenderness connected with a death, 542 00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:43,840 or this dark conversation will be forever present to me. 543 00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,280 CLUNK! 544 00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:16,680 Oh, my poor Tim. 545 00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:21,880 Be at peace, my dear, sweet boy. 546 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,960 HE ROARS 547 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:26,800 HE GASPS 548 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,400 Why did you put him in the coffin? 549 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,720 How else am I supposed to keep him contained? 550 00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:35,760 CLOCK CHIMES 551 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,600 CLUNK! 552 00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:41,280 Oh, come on! 553 00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:46,960 CLUNK! 554 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:51,360 Yes, he died a week ago, I heard. 555 00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,200 Good Lord, I thought he'd never die! 556 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,560 THEY CHUCKLE 557 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:59,720 - Well, I certainly shan't miss him. - Nor I. He was very unpopular. 558 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,680 CLUNK! 559 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,000 Spirit... 560 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:14,760 ..are these the shadows of things that will be? 561 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:18,760 Or are they the shadows of things that may only be? 562 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:20,720 THUNDER RUMBLES 563 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,560 Oh... 564 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,480 Spirit... 565 00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:31,320 ..a man may change the course of his life! 566 00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:32,960 Spirit, I... 567 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,160 Spirit, I'm sorry. 568 00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,280 I have been greedy and selfish. 569 00:37:43,240 --> 00:37:45,760 I've served myself before others... 570 00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:49,760 ..and shut out the gift of their kindnesses. 571 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:51,560 I'm sorry to everyone. 572 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:54,400 All of you. 573 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,480 I've taken you all for granted. 574 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:01,000 I thought I wanted to go it alone, but... 575 00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,400 ..truth is... 576 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,120 ..I'd be lost without you. 577 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,440 In fact... 578 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,240 ..I believe... 579 00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,600 ..I'm not feeling at all well. 580 00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:20,520 I think... 581 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:21,960 ..I may be... 582 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,440 ..completely incapacitated. 583 00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:30,000 Scrooge... 584 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,440 What? 585 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,480 I'm completely incapacitated. 586 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,040 Mr Scrooge. 587 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,400 Chris, I don't know what to say. 588 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,520 - I couldn't. - You have to. 589 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,360 We're all counting on our lead actor. 590 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:50,640 Chris, it's your part and you should finish it. 591 00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:53,200 I'm not going to take your role. 592 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:56,840 Well, why don't we do it together? 593 00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:58,640 No, I'll do it. 594 00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:02,920 Humbug! 595 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:04,600 Quickly, we'll finish the thing. 596 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,760 Here we are. Come on, quickly. 597 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:11,320 Hurry up, this way. Up to the bedroom. Come on, quickly. 598 00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,880 Hurry up, there's still time. We can still make it work. Quickly! 599 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:19,520 Scrooge fell before the spirit and woke to find himself in bed. 600 00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,800 Good morning. 601 00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,680 I shall live in the past, present and the future, 602 00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:28,640 the spirits of all three shall strive within me. 603 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:30,760 You there, child. What day is it? 604 00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:35,480 - It's Christmas Day! - Christmas Day? Oh, Jacob Marley be praised! 605 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:38,120 Wait there, for I must speak with you a moment. 606 00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,680 I shall have that girl run to the poulterer's 607 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,360 and fetch the plumpest bird she can find in the shop. 608 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:46,960 Merry Christmas, everyone. 609 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:50,040 Merry Christmas! A merry Christmas to you, sir. 610 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,760 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 611 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,880 Merry Christmas to one and all! 612 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:58,440 Excuse me, are you playing Scrooge? 613 00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,600 No. Chris is playing Scrooge. 614 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,320 I am not playing Scrooge. You took over as Scrooge. 615 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,440 I only took over as Scrooge because you forced me 616 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:06,760 to take over as Scrooge. 617 00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:08,760 I did not force you to take over as Scrooge. 618 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,480 If anything, you forced me to play Scrooge by being such a bad actor! 619 00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:13,560 Nobody forced either of you to play Scrooge. 620 00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,200 You came here and took Scrooge from me. By force! 621 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:19,040 Stop fighting. Look, it doesn't matter who's playing Scrooge. 622 00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:22,160 - That's what we've learned tonight. - It's not what I've learned tonight. 623 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:26,120 I've learned that it absolutely matters! I am Scrooge! 624 00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:28,040 Get them out! 625 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:29,480 Come on, it's over. 626 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,160 They're using force! They're using force! 627 00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:35,720 Chris! Understudy! 628 00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:37,240 I'm Scrooge! 629 00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:40,200 THEY ALL SHOUT 630 00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,400 Quick! The cameras. 631 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,320 Get off him! 632 00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:51,480 Ow! 633 00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,920 We may as well finish the show outside. Everyone, outs... 634 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:05,560 Hurry, quickly. 635 00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,640 We're still filming, so, action! 636 00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:13,440 Here's a better idea. 637 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:18,000 Why don't we all go to the poulterer's and fetch a goose? 638 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,680 We shall take it to Bob Cratchit's house. 639 00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:23,520 # Ding-dong merrily on high 640 00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,080 # In heaven the bells are ringing 641 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,480 # Ding dong merrily the sky... # 642 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,160 THEY STUMBLE OVER LYRICS 643 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,800 # ..Glo-o-o-o-oria 644 00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,760 # Hosanna in excelsis! # 645 00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:45,640 Now, everyone, we must search for the plumpest goose we can find. 646 00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:47,800 # Jingle bells 647 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,400 # Jingle bells, jingle all the way 648 00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,360 # Oh, what fun it is to ride 649 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:54,960 # In a one-horse open sleigh... # 650 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,960 Ah, no goose, then, 651 00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,360 but fare well, Bob Cratchit, 652 00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:03,000 if this is what you desire most then it is what you shall have. 653 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:07,440 # For everyone at Christmas loves goujons! # 654 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:09,440 Hey! 655 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:10,840 # Jingle bells 656 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,320 # Jingle bells Jingle all the way... # 657 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,640 Sorry, would you mind if we went ahead? 658 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:17,560 Yes, I would mind. 659 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:20,200 # Dashing through the snow 660 00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,080 # On a one-horse open sleigh... # 661 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:23,680 Greetings, good fellow. 662 00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:27,040 - Hiya. - I would like to purchase these fine goujons, please. 663 00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:28,320 That's 3.99, please. 664 00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:31,080 Does anyone have any money? Do you have any money? 665 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,480 No. 666 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:43,800 I appear to have left my coin-purse in my other britches. 667 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,480 If you don't have any money, you'll have to leave. 668 00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:50,560 Might you be able to open your heart to those in need at Christmas? 669 00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:53,440 - I'm sorry, mate. - Please, it's for the Cratchits. - Who? 670 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,120 Please, we need them. 671 00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,800 I... Just take whatever you want. Just take the money. 672 00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,800 - It's fine. - Really? The goujons? - Take them, just don't hurt anyone. 673 00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,360 Yeah. Yeah, bag it up, yeah. 674 00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,600 Merry Christmas! 675 00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:07,280 # Jingle bells, jingle bells... # 676 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,280 Give us a Snickers. 677 00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,280 - Take one yourself. - What? 678 00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,080 - Take one yourself! - OK! 679 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:15,320 And this lady's shopping's free. 680 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:16,760 - Whatever you say. - OK. 681 00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:18,520 Merry Christmas! 682 00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,160 Oh, everyone, we shall return to Bob Cratchit's house 683 00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:26,760 and present him with the finest Christmas feast 684 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:28,600 he's had in all his life. 685 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:32,040 # Fah-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la... # 686 00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:35,280 THEY HUM THE TUNE 687 00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:37,480 Festive greetings! 688 00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:41,800 We are travelling the town to wish everyone a merry Christmas. 689 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:43,080 ALL: Merry Christmas! 690 00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,200 Oh, that's nice. 691 00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:50,760 Might we enter and spread our joy to the fine townsfolk within? 692 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,760 Not without a pass. 693 00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:54,840 Oh, dear. 694 00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:57,120 That is a shame. 695 00:43:57,120 --> 00:44:02,600 We had hoped we'd might be able to get back in the studio, but... 696 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:04,440 FIRE ALARM RINGS 697 00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:05,920 Oh, that's the fire alarm. 698 00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:08,480 If you could all just make your way out of the building 699 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,240 and across the courtyard. Thank you. All of you. 700 00:44:11,240 --> 00:44:12,760 We will! 701 00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:17,240 Shh! Shh! Shh! 702 00:44:17,240 --> 00:44:20,040 THEY WHISPER 703 00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:30,680 Oh! 704 00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:32,400 No! 705 00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:38,200 Bob Cratchit? 706 00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:41,440 Bob Cratchit, are you in there? 707 00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:43,000 No, I'm here. 708 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:44,520 Go round. 709 00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:51,440 Merry Christmas, Bob! 710 00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:54,680 A merrier Christmas than I have given you in many a year. 711 00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:56,240 May I come in? 712 00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,440 Yes! 713 00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,320 Thank you, Bob. 714 00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:07,560 I have come here to tell you that I intend to double your salary, 715 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,520 and shall endeavour to... 716 00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:12,640 ..to... 717 00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:15,400 Assist your struggling family. 718 00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,520 ..to assist your struggling family. 719 00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:23,960 BOTH: Tiny Tim shall walk again, 720 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,800 and I shall keep Christmas in my heart. 721 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:32,080 First, though, let us all have a Christmas dinner. 722 00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:34,040 What do you say, Bob? 723 00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:36,960 Yes. 724 00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,120 Merry Christmas. 725 00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,080 Pay attention, everyone. 726 00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:46,480 Sorry. 727 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:48,160 Sorry, before we finish... 728 00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,760 ..there's something I'd like to say to Max. 729 00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:53,600 You're going to break up with me on air. What's wrong with you? 730 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:54,960 Break up with you? 731 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:58,040 Yeah. I saw the video. You said you didn't want to be dating any more. 732 00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:01,280 I don't want to be dating any more. I want to be married. 733 00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:05,760 To me? 734 00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:09,280 Yes. 735 00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:13,320 I had a whole plan. I was going to propose. 736 00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:17,120 - But I saw you kissing Chris. - What? 737 00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:19,600 - I thought we were friends. - Look, I found something. 738 00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,120 Look at this. 739 00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:29,520 Oh, same dress! 740 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,600 - All right, Chris? - Yeah. 741 00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,240 That's my sister. 742 00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:43,640 You were going to propose? 743 00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:44,840 Yeah. 744 00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:47,360 Right, that's it! 745 00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:49,280 I've had it! 746 00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:53,320 You've ruined Christmas again, all of you! 747 00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:56,800 It wasn't enough to ruin the production last year. 748 00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,440 Now you've sabotaged mine! 749 00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:01,200 Go on, get out of here. 750 00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:05,640 We are going to perform OUR version from the top now! 751 00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:10,400 - But it's a proposal! - I don't care! I'm going to give my performance. 752 00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:13,040 The only chance you have of continuing 753 00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:15,600 is if I am completely incapacitated. 754 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,920 CAR TYRES SCREECH 755 00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,000 HE GASPS 756 00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:27,440 Oh... 757 00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:30,240 Oh, come on, Derek. This is not about you. 758 00:47:30,240 --> 00:47:32,360 But I...I...I... 759 00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:34,440 Oh, forget it. 760 00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:36,080 Da-na! 761 00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:37,920 Thank you, Auntie Diana. 762 00:47:40,720 --> 00:47:42,440 Aw... 763 00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:49,240 And so, as Tiny Tim observed... 764 00:47:49,240 --> 00:47:52,480 Please, God bless us ev... 765 00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:55,840 God bless us every one! 49791

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