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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:23,199 New York City, the world capital of culture and industry. 2 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,698 Here, among the towering skyscrapers, 3 00:00:25,699 --> 00:00:30,199 civilization is guided by men of progress and the wonders of technology. 4 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:34,199 But for all this industrial advancement, there is a price to pay. 5 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:39,200 Pollution. The unavoidable byproduct of today's society. 6 00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:45,199 Every year, millions of gallons of poisonous wastes, 7 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,699 garbage, and radioactive chemicals are disposed of in nearby towns 8 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:53,700 such as Tromaville, the toxic waste dumping capital of the world. 9 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,899 Our story takes place at the Tromaville Health Club 10 00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:59,699 where a young man named Melvin Furd works. 11 00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:02,199 Melvin's entire life, in fact 12 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:07,200 entire being was changed by toxic chemical waste. 13 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:31,699 Would you take a look at that fucking guy? 14 00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:35,700 Dumb mop boy can't even mop right. 15 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,199 He's so stupid! 16 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,699 He's always got that shit-eating grin on his face. 17 00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:43,700 What's he so happy about? 18 00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:46,200 I hate that mop boy. 19 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:51,700 I think that creep is coming over here. 20 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:58,199 Julie, you smell something? 21 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:03,200 Ew! P-U! What's that stink? 22 00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:10,200 Gee, that's funny. I don't smell nothing. 23 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,699 Melvin, clean up the toilet, it stinks over here! 24 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:18,700 OK. I'll be right there! 25 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,199 Look what you did, you fucking asshole! 26 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,199 Yeah, you fucking asshole! 27 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,699 - Hey, what are you, retarded? - Huh? Retarded? 28 00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:29,699 I'm sorry! 29 00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:31,199 Sorry, huh? 30 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,698 You want me to go and get a fucking disease! 31 00:03:32,699 --> 00:03:35,198 Yeah, you want her to go and get a fucking disease? 32 00:03:35,199 --> 00:03:36,199 I didn't mean it! 33 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,200 Aw, I didn't mean it. 34 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:44,200 Next time you fuck with me, I'm gonna take this mop and shove it down your throat. 35 00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,199 He is stressing me, Julie! 36 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,699 He is stressing me! 37 00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:49,699 Oh, Bozo... 38 00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:54,200 I can't take it. I cannot take it Julie. He is screwing up my karma! 39 00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:59,699 See what you did, you idiot? See what you did!? 40 00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,199 You've stressed Bozo! 41 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,199 I'm sorry, Julie. I didn't mean to do it. He was sitting there and I... 42 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:10,300 Ah! How dare you talk to me, you twerp! 43 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:27,700 Keep it up, Bozo. Keep it up. 44 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,699 But remember, 45 00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:32,700 there is only one muscle you gotta worry about. 46 00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:39,199 Hey, you know. I think you ought to work a little bit on your gut. 47 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,698 You're getting a little bit flabby there. 48 00:04:41,699 --> 00:04:43,699 Where!? What are you talking about? 49 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:47,200 I don't got no fat! There's no fat here. I don't got no f... 50 00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:50,700 Fat! Fat! 51 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,699 Slug, are you sure no one will come in? 52 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,699 I paid Tony 15 bucks. 53 00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:14,700 He said the place is ours until tomorrow morning. 54 00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:18,699 Relax. You want a drink? 55 00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:21,000 - Yeah. - Alright. 56 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:31,199 Slug, can I come again next time you and Bozo go driving? 57 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,099 If you want to, bad enough. 58 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,699 I love it when we go real fast. 59 00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:38,199 And they never know what hit 'em. 60 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,299 They never believe we're going to run 'em down. 61 00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,299 We keep getting closer and closer. 62 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,599 And faster and faster. 63 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,899 They're just standing there and yeah. 64 00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:50,099 We hit them! 65 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,099 I love the sound of breaking bones! 66 00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:55,199 The car driving over them, dragging their bodies. 67 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,699 All that beautiful blood! 68 00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,699 Slug! 69 00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:02,200 I want you, now. 70 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,700 Oh, Slug! 71 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,400 Oh, Slug! 72 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,400 Give it to me! Give it to me! More! More! 73 00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:48,400 Get out of here, you pervert! 74 00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:51,400 Or I'll kill ya! 75 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,199 Julie. Julie, the points. The rules, what are they? 76 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,699 Let me see if I can remember the whole list. 77 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:16,699 Now, jews, whops, niggers and chinks, 78 00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:19,699 they're all worth twenty-five points. 79 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,699 But Puerto Ricans, they're worth thirty points. 80 00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:27,700 Now kids under twelve they're worth double points. 81 00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,399 Skippy, don't forget your helmet. 82 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,900 OK, sis. 83 00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:36,200 And be careful out there. 84 00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:42,200 Julie, does it count if I graze them? 85 00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:49,900 You got to destroy them! Bozo, I want them dead. 86 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,399 Now we're gonna get 'em. 87 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,112 Come on. Come on! Come on! 88 00:07:56,138 --> 00:07:59,425 Where the fuck is everybody? Where the fuck is everybody? 89 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,399 How much is a kid on a bicycle? 90 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,620 Where? 91 00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:14,599 Twenty-eight points if you get both the kid and the bike? 92 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,600 Let's take a closer look. 93 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,699 Oh, he a cute little boy, isn't he? 94 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:26,700 Out pretty late, aren't you, honey? 95 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:31,199 The coast is clear, Bozo. 96 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,200 We got him! 97 00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:43,200 We're gonna kill him! We're gonna get him! 98 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,399 Now you get full points! 99 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:10,400 No way! The kid's still moving! 100 00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:14,699 We're not finished yet! 101 00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:17,199 He's still moving, no way you get full points. 102 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:21,200 No way, huh? No way? I'll fucking show you no way. 103 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:38,200 Give me that! Gibe me that! 104 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:44,699 Full points, my man! 105 00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:48,700 Look at him! Wow, oh my God! 106 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:59,499 These are gonna be the best shots we've ever taken. 107 00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,500 Yeah, this is fun! 108 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,999 These are great! 109 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,500 Show me your pretty pictures! 110 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,000 That was good! That was good! 111 00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:20,498 I want to do it again! I want to do it again! 112 00:10:20,499 --> 00:10:24,000 - Yeah, let's do it again! - Yeah, let's go for it again! 113 00:10:24,001 --> 00:10:26,999 No, no I can't. I've got to go home. 114 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:27,999 What? 115 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,799 Well, I got to get up early in the morning. 116 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,799 Got to go to church. 117 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,350 Oh! 118 00:10:39,048 --> 00:10:41,573 And up! Up! Up! Up! 119 00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:44,599 Now kick! Out! Out! Out! 120 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,199 Now arms up! Stop. Stop. 121 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,699 That's really pitiful. Just stop. Just stop a second. 122 00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:52,699 Look how many times do I have to tell you people? 123 00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:55,699 Do exactly what I do. 124 00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:58,499 If I kick my right foot, you kick your right foot. 125 00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:01,299 If I kick my left foot, you kick your left foot. 126 00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:04,399 Okay? Whatever I do, you do exactly the same thing. 127 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:08,499 Okay? Now how about we start again? You're gonna do exactly what I'm doing. 128 00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,650 Okay guys, you know what I'm talking about? 129 00:11:10,651 --> 00:11:15,400 Let's go, let's do it this time. Okay! Let's get the music! 5, 6, 7, and hey, hey... 130 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,599 Watch what I'm doing here. Watch how I hit this ball. 131 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,624 Are you watching me!? Are you watching me!? 132 00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:45,399 I'm going to kill it! I'm going to kill it! I'm going to kill it! 133 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:50,400 Aah! I'm gonna kick that freak's mouth in! 134 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:55,499 Bozo, it's okay. It's okay. Hey, guys, come here. 135 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:59,354 Have I got a plan to fix that mop boys wagon. 136 00:11:59,355 --> 00:12:01,050 Great! What is it? 137 00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:03,041 Well... 138 00:12:07,447 --> 00:12:08,404 Hi, Melvin. 139 00:12:08,405 --> 00:12:10,499 Whoa! 140 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:13,962 Melvin. Melvin, it's okay. It's okay. 141 00:12:13,963 --> 00:12:20,499 Hey, I just came to apologize. Yes, I didn't mean to be so nasty yesterday. 142 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,999 Oh, that's okay, Julie. I didn't really mind. 143 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,499 In fact, I was hoping you could help me, 144 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,724 with a little problem. I've been having. 145 00:12:27,725 --> 00:12:29,999 - Who, me? - Yes but... 146 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,500 I can't talk about here with all these people around. 147 00:12:33,507 --> 00:12:36,271 Hey, I got a great idea. 148 00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:38,500 Why don't you meet me in the girls locker room? 149 00:12:38,811 --> 00:12:40,631 Girls' locker room? 150 00:12:40,632 --> 00:12:44,991 Yes. Then we can discuss it alone. 151 00:12:44,992 --> 00:12:47,733 Oh, oh! 152 00:12:49,749 --> 00:12:51,272 Okay. 153 00:12:51,273 --> 00:12:53,499 Great! Let's say 7 o'clock. 154 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:56,448 Okay. That'll be good for me, too, 'cause I gotta to clean the toilets 155 00:12:56,449 --> 00:12:59,500 in there around that time anyway. 156 00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:01,499 Good. It's a date. See you then. 157 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:04,000 Okay. 158 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:13,990 490... 491... 492... 159 00:13:15,391 --> 00:13:23,499 493... 494... 495... 160 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:28,226 Hi, guys. Well, Melvin fell for it. Hook line and sinker. 161 00:13:28,227 --> 00:13:29,400 Great! 162 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,499 We've been driving for two whole hours. 163 00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:41,120 Let's pull this rig over and take a break. 164 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,526 Hey, the boss'll have our asses. 165 00:13:42,527 --> 00:13:44,752 You know he don't want us to stop in habitated areas 166 00:13:44,753 --> 00:13:47,499 with this radioactive chemical waste we got on the back. 167 00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:51,226 It's dangerous. It's like that cancerogenic stuff, you know. 168 00:13:51,227 --> 00:13:55,385 Hey Joey, you remember that dope we were snorting last week? 169 00:13:55,386 --> 00:13:59,744 - Do I? - Well, buddy boy. Check this out. 170 00:13:59,745 --> 00:14:01,499 Holy shit! Why didn't you say so. 171 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:04,000 Let's pull it over! 172 00:14:13,023 --> 00:14:14,421 Julie. 173 00:14:14,547 --> 00:14:17,919 - Hi, Melvin. - Hi, Julie. 174 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,441 Come in, don't be shy. 175 00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:24,878 So, what was it that you wanted me to help you with? 176 00:14:24,879 --> 00:14:26,999 - Well, it's about Bozo. - Bozo? 177 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,999 Yeah, you see, I'm so sick of the way he goes around 178 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,499 pushing people around all the time. 179 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,499 He's so immature. 180 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:37,499 In fact, I don't like to go out with him anymore. 181 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:40,999 But I don't know quite how to tell him. 182 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:45,499 In fact, Melvin, I think you're handsome, 183 00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:50,372 and sensitive and kind. 184 00:14:50,373 --> 00:14:55,245 Oh, Melvin, I find you irresistible. 185 00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:57,500 - Me? - Yes. 186 00:14:57,721 --> 00:15:00,155 Melvin, I want to do it with you. 187 00:15:00,156 --> 00:15:00,893 Do it? 188 00:15:00,894 --> 00:15:01,810 Do it! 189 00:15:01,811 --> 00:15:02,697 Do what? 190 00:15:02,698 --> 00:15:03,999 Do it, Melvin, do it! 191 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,621 Do it? Okay. 192 00:15:07,622 --> 00:15:10,634 Wait a minute. Have I got a great idea, Melvin. 193 00:15:10,635 --> 00:15:11,641 What is it? 194 00:15:11,642 --> 00:15:13,368 We'll go down by the pool. 195 00:15:13,369 --> 00:15:16,307 And afterward we can take a cool dip. 196 00:15:16,346 --> 00:15:17,959 Alright. 197 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,241 There's one other little thing, Melvin. 198 00:15:21,452 --> 00:15:23,500 You're not wearing pink. 199 00:15:23,686 --> 00:15:27,000 - Pink? - It's my favorite color. 200 00:15:27,161 --> 00:15:29,999 I have my pink on. 201 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,499 So, I brought this for you. 202 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:39,971 - But this is sissy stuff. - Oh, no, Melvin. Pink makes me so hot. 203 00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:42,500 - It does. - Yes. 204 00:15:42,534 --> 00:15:47,342 If you put on your pink, I'll take off my pink. 205 00:15:52,335 --> 00:15:57,000 - I love pink! - Hurry up, I'll be waiting for you. 206 00:15:58,176 --> 00:16:00,832 - And bring your mop. - I will! 207 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:26,499 - Julie? - Here I am, Melvin. 208 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:30,233 It's so dark in here, where are you? I can't see you 209 00:16:30,234 --> 00:16:34,500 I'm right here, Melvin. Come here. 210 00:16:34,718 --> 00:16:37,500 My lips are waiting for you, Melvin. 211 00:16:37,742 --> 00:16:40,285 Whoa, put your arms around me. 212 00:16:40,286 --> 00:16:44,349 Oh, Julie! Julie! Oh, Julie! I'm here! 213 00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:47,000 Okay! Turn on the light! 214 00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:50,927 You're so soft, Julie. 215 00:16:50,928 --> 00:16:52,319 Baaa. 216 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,820 Ooh! 217 00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:24,646 Ooh, he doesn't look very good to me. 218 00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:31,272 He's faking it, Julie! He's faking it. 219 00:18:34,952 --> 00:18:36,311 I think he's in trouble. 220 00:18:36,312 --> 00:18:39,812 Julie, this guy, if he can't take a joke, he stinks. 221 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:45,854 Get back! Get back! Step off! Get back! 222 00:18:45,855 --> 00:18:47,339 Get out of here! 223 00:18:47,381 --> 00:18:49,058 Easy, guy. 224 00:19:05,273 --> 00:19:08,197 Melvin's on fire! Melvin's on fire! 225 00:19:24,281 --> 00:19:27,521 Melvin, dear, are you alright? 226 00:19:28,882 --> 00:19:31,130 Is anything the matter? 227 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,811 God, my arms! Ow! Ow! 228 00:19:41,178 --> 00:19:42,899 Oh my feet! 229 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:46,892 Oh my God! 230 00:20:23,773 --> 00:20:25,894 Are you okay? 231 00:20:40,351 --> 00:20:42,784 Melvin, dear, are you alright? 232 00:21:21,045 --> 00:21:27,545 My little Melvin! He must have finally reached puberty. 233 00:21:43,523 --> 00:21:46,030 One. Two. 234 00:21:46,031 --> 00:21:48,998 Three. Four. Five. 235 00:21:48,999 --> 00:21:51,748 When we lay this wad on, old Clancy. 236 00:21:51,749 --> 00:21:54,939 The boss is going to have him by the balls. 237 00:21:55,923 --> 00:21:58,391 I don't think old Clancy will take the money. 238 00:21:58,392 --> 00:22:01,094 Everyone says he's an honest cop. 239 00:22:01,095 --> 00:22:05,499 If he don't take the dough, I'm gonna give him a blow. 240 00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:06,233 Ha ha! 241 00:22:06,234 --> 00:22:08,976 A pair of knuckles. 242 00:22:13,528 --> 00:22:19,355 Well, if it ain't, Cigar Face. What are you and your friends up to? 243 00:22:19,356 --> 00:22:22,104 We brought you a little present from the boss. 244 00:22:22,105 --> 00:22:23,387 Here. 245 00:22:26,686 --> 00:22:29,908 No way. You're wasting your time. 246 00:22:29,909 --> 00:22:32,423 No. That's where you're wrong. 247 00:22:32,424 --> 00:22:34,500 You're wasting our time. 248 00:22:36,078 --> 00:22:38,578 Now we're going to waste you! 249 00:22:39,281 --> 00:22:40,781 Ow! 250 00:22:42,164 --> 00:22:47,512 Now you're going to find out why they call me Cigar Face. 251 00:22:58,507 --> 00:23:00,231 Get him Nipples, yeah! 252 00:23:08,867 --> 00:23:10,620 Come on, now. Come on! 253 00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:22,439 What the matter, Clancy? 254 00:23:25,656 --> 00:23:27,408 Get him! 255 00:23:37,523 --> 00:23:42,485 Honest cops are all alike! A bunch of fuckin' fagots! 256 00:23:42,958 --> 00:23:46,412 What do you say, shall I blow his nose off or what? 257 00:23:46,413 --> 00:23:48,944 Boss says if he doesn't want to cooperate, 258 00:23:48,945 --> 00:23:51,967 we should make love to him. 259 00:23:52,366 --> 00:23:56,248 Well, whatever the boss says, goes. 260 00:23:56,780 --> 00:24:00,163 No... No, no, please! Please, oh God, please. 261 00:24:00,164 --> 00:24:03,639 No, no. No, please. Come on. I've got a family! 262 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,303 Say your prayers, copper! 263 00:24:14,437 --> 00:24:15,954 Holy shit! 264 00:24:40,037 --> 00:24:44,996 Could that be the, O'Shanahee boy back from school. 265 00:24:46,241 --> 00:24:47,793 No! No! 266 00:26:19,992 --> 00:26:23,342 I'll get you for this, you monster faggot! 267 00:26:37,218 --> 00:26:39,439 Don't worry. Don't worry, I won't hurt you. 268 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,338 I don't know what came over me. 269 00:26:42,538 --> 00:26:45,061 I just couldn't control myself. 270 00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:47,978 I've never done anything like this before. 271 00:26:58,796 --> 00:27:00,064 Bye. 272 00:27:01,546 --> 00:27:02,939 Quiet! 273 00:27:03,529 --> 00:27:06,741 Quiet! 274 00:27:06,742 --> 00:27:14,190 Now, you will raise your hand and you will ask one question at a time. 275 00:27:14,219 --> 00:27:15,920 Exactly where did it happen? 276 00:27:15,921 --> 00:27:18,317 It happened in Shinbone Alley. 277 00:27:18,318 --> 00:27:20,326 These three guys were going to kill me, see. 278 00:27:20,327 --> 00:27:24,373 And then of nowhere comes this thing, this monster, 279 00:27:24,374 --> 00:27:26,639 I never seen anything like it before. 280 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:30,309 Because it took the three guys and threw them away. 281 00:27:30,310 --> 00:27:34,810 I don't know what it was but, but God bless him, 'cause he saved my life. 282 00:27:47,046 --> 00:27:48,953 Alright, boys. 283 00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:51,100 Chief, what have you got? 284 00:27:51,803 --> 00:27:55,825 That alleyway was the most gruesome sight I have ever seen. 285 00:27:55,826 --> 00:27:57,640 Gruesome, huh? 286 00:27:58,100 --> 00:28:00,099 Have you ever met my mother-in-law? 287 00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:02,099 Now, that's gruesome 288 00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:03,278 What about Cigar Face? 289 00:28:03,279 --> 00:28:05,099 Have we gotten anything out of him yet? 290 00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:08,099 He must still be in shock. All he does is sit around 291 00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:11,514 all day babbling about some seven foot monster. 292 00:28:11,515 --> 00:28:14,599 Yeah, and the only other clue we've got are those mops, 293 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,599 stuffed in their mouths. 294 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:21,145 Mops... It must be some sort of political statement. Do we have any suspects? 295 00:28:21,146 --> 00:28:26,099 Nah, the whole town is suspect. Knuckles and Nipples were hated by everyone. 296 00:28:26,100 --> 00:28:29,599 Not by me. They were our two best producers. 297 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,919 Speaking of which, I almost forgot. 298 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,557 The boys made their rounds last night and here is the collection. 299 00:28:35,558 --> 00:28:37,614 Yeah, and it would've been double if it wasn't for this 300 00:28:37,615 --> 00:28:40,841 devastating tragic turn of events. 301 00:28:40,842 --> 00:28:42,216 Yeah. 302 00:29:39,818 --> 00:29:43,099 Slug, will you stop with that Elephant Man bullshit. 303 00:29:43,100 --> 00:29:49,232 I am not an animal. I'm Melvin, the mop boy. 304 00:29:57,100 --> 00:30:00,508 - Who is it? - It's me, Ma. Melvin. 305 00:30:09,100 --> 00:30:12,114 Ma? Ah, Ma! 306 00:31:20,928 --> 00:31:25,028 Tom. Tom, is he dead? 307 00:31:25,029 --> 00:31:26,713 Hey, Tom. 308 00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:31,303 Yeah, over here. Tom, the zoning board has designated 309 00:31:31,304 --> 00:31:35,765 the old Rawlins Chemical Plant as the new toxic waste dump site. 310 00:31:36,100 --> 00:31:40,368 Now that's contaminated, but valuable waterfront property. 311 00:31:44,826 --> 00:31:49,051 We think it's a crime to let that property go to waste as a dump. 312 00:31:49,052 --> 00:31:52,324 You are aware, of course, that that would place our new toxic chemical dump 313 00:31:52,325 --> 00:31:55,647 just 20 feet from the reservoir for the entire area. 314 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,584 Gentlemen, I think we have a deal. 315 00:32:06,114 --> 00:32:09,672 Here to better living through chemistry. 316 00:32:31,716 --> 00:32:35,716 Mr. Fred! Mr. Fred, what's wrong with this thing!? 317 00:32:50,114 --> 00:32:51,216 Alright, everybody! 318 00:32:51,217 --> 00:32:54,293 Drop your tacos or I'll blow your brains out! 319 00:32:56,787 --> 00:32:58,715 Rico, get the cash register! 320 00:32:58,716 --> 00:33:01,158 Okay, you got it! 321 00:33:02,229 --> 00:33:04,393 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 322 00:33:04,412 --> 00:33:07,372 We are the entertainment for this afternoon. 323 00:33:07,373 --> 00:33:11,889 Now on shotgun, we've got my man Leroy. 324 00:33:12,467 --> 00:33:16,638 On cash register we've got magic fingers, Rico! 325 00:33:16,639 --> 00:33:18,069 That's me. 326 00:33:18,201 --> 00:33:22,405 And last but not least, yours truly Frank. 327 00:33:23,811 --> 00:33:25,366 On the stick. 328 00:33:27,561 --> 00:33:28,984 Shut up! 329 00:33:29,740 --> 00:33:32,068 Now if you all do just what we tell you, 330 00:33:32,069 --> 00:33:36,783 you just might, just might get your asses home all intact. 331 00:33:37,982 --> 00:33:43,416 Look who we got here! A little mother, and a littler baby. 332 00:33:44,232 --> 00:33:46,884 Do you like Mexican food, little baby? 333 00:33:47,219 --> 00:33:48,969 Well, How'd you like to have this hot tamale 334 00:33:48,970 --> 00:33:51,072 shoved down your throat? 335 00:33:53,186 --> 00:33:54,923 What are you looking at? 336 00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,360 Hey, Frank, teeny boppers! 337 00:34:00,609 --> 00:34:02,399 You like video games, teeny boppers? 338 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,985 Your mom give you quarters for video games? 339 00:34:04,986 --> 00:34:06,635 Well, cough them up! 340 00:34:07,508 --> 00:34:10,117 Hey, this one's cute, Frank. 341 00:34:10,118 --> 00:34:12,492 Look how cute she is, Frank. 342 00:34:12,493 --> 00:34:14,746 Say, Leroy, I think she likes you. 343 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,325 Hey, why don't you leave her alone? 344 00:34:26,259 --> 00:34:28,669 We'll give you our money, if you want money. 345 00:34:29,055 --> 00:34:31,359 Hey, look, pal, why don't you just let everyone go 346 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,399 and keep me as a hostage, huh? 347 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:34,376 Huh? 348 00:34:34,642 --> 00:34:37,330 That's an idea, ain�ft it, Frank? 349 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,291 - Yeah. - No, thanks. 350 00:34:50,633 --> 00:34:53,909 Shut up! It was self defense. 351 00:34:56,502 --> 00:35:00,686 Yo, Leroy, check out this pretty little thing, 352 00:35:00,767 --> 00:35:03,302 and the bitch got a dog. 353 00:35:04,353 --> 00:35:07,539 Hey, wait a minute. I think this bitch is blind. 354 00:35:07,540 --> 00:35:10,068 Are you sure she is blind, Frank? 355 00:35:13,056 --> 00:35:15,453 Yeah, the bitch is blind. 356 00:35:15,454 --> 00:35:16,195 Ow! 357 00:35:16,196 --> 00:35:18,460 Hey, what are you doing? Don't do that! 358 00:35:18,461 --> 00:35:19,782 Let go of me! 359 00:35:20,900 --> 00:35:24,235 Yo, Leroy, you want to walk this damn dog! 360 00:35:24,673 --> 00:35:26,344 Yeah, sure, Frank. 361 00:35:30,111 --> 00:35:31,463 Gary? 362 00:35:33,142 --> 00:35:35,788 Harry! What have you done to my dog? 363 00:35:35,789 --> 00:35:38,220 I didn't do anything to the dog, but listen... 364 00:35:38,236 --> 00:35:39,333 Gary! Gary! 365 00:35:39,334 --> 00:35:40,762 You wanna meet my friend, Ben? 366 00:35:40,763 --> 00:35:43,387 We's make everything alright. Just let me introduce you to Ben. 367 00:35:43,388 --> 00:35:44,461 Ben who!? 368 00:35:44,462 --> 00:35:46,962 Ben Dover! 369 00:35:49,775 --> 00:35:54,946 Hey, Leroy, you know I always did want to cornhole me a blind bitch. 370 00:35:54,947 --> 00:35:56,179 Ow! 371 00:35:56,180 --> 00:35:58,027 I'm going to enjoy this! 372 00:36:02,110 --> 00:36:04,590 Yeah, it's going to be nice. 373 00:36:06,009 --> 00:36:07,894 What the shit!? 374 00:36:21,970 --> 00:36:24,197 Okay, you motherfucker! 375 00:39:26,290 --> 00:39:30,164 No, no, no! We were only kidding! 376 00:39:30,165 --> 00:39:33,094 What's the matter? You can't take a joke? 377 00:39:33,095 --> 00:39:34,727 We were only kidding. 378 00:39:34,728 --> 00:39:37,500 Please, no! You can't do this to me! 379 00:39:40,196 --> 00:39:43,155 No! Please! Please, stop it! 380 00:39:43,156 --> 00:39:46,265 Stop, no! No! 381 00:39:46,266 --> 00:39:48,891 No! We were, we were only kidding! 382 00:40:31,509 --> 00:40:35,467 Please, please don't touch me! 383 00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:36,899 Please! 384 00:40:36,900 --> 00:40:40,211 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's alright. I'm not going to hurt you. 385 00:40:40,212 --> 00:40:41,336 Are you okay? 386 00:40:41,337 --> 00:40:45,180 Yes, I think so. My dog! 387 00:40:45,181 --> 00:40:49,423 Those men killed my dog! They shot my dog! 388 00:40:49,477 --> 00:40:52,336 Could you take me out of here, please? 389 00:40:53,860 --> 00:40:58,124 Please. I'll never make it by myself without my dog. 390 00:40:58,125 --> 00:40:59,242 Please. 391 00:40:59,243 --> 00:41:03,766 Okay, alright, but come on, let's go out the back way. 392 00:41:03,767 --> 00:41:07,593 Hey, don't worry, I won't hurt you. Come on, I'll help you up. 393 00:41:33,994 --> 00:41:36,981 - Don't trip over the step, Melvin. - What? 394 00:41:38,900 --> 00:41:40,934 I'd better get my cane. 395 00:41:45,384 --> 00:41:46,515 Why don't you have a seat? 396 00:41:46,516 --> 00:41:47,899 There's a place for you on your left. 397 00:41:47,900 --> 00:41:48,906 Right over there. 398 00:41:48,907 --> 00:41:50,250 Ow! 399 00:41:50,251 --> 00:41:51,899 Would like you like something to eat? 400 00:41:51,900 --> 00:41:52,899 Uh-huh. 401 00:41:52,900 --> 00:41:54,695 Is peanut butter and jelly, okay? 402 00:41:54,696 --> 00:41:55,758 Uh-huh. 403 00:41:55,759 --> 00:41:57,145 Good. 404 00:41:59,236 --> 00:42:01,762 Now, boys, what have we got here? 405 00:42:02,205 --> 00:42:05,454 Looks like we got a nice crispy taco supreme over here, chief. 406 00:42:08,150 --> 00:42:11,527 Looks like I got a a strawberry thickshake over here. 407 00:42:13,126 --> 00:42:14,180 What have you got? 408 00:42:14,181 --> 00:42:16,863 I've got a pizza with the works to go, Jimmy. 409 00:42:17,267 --> 00:42:21,649 Chief, it was unbelievable. It had an eye up over here, 410 00:42:21,650 --> 00:42:23,930 His nose was twisted to the side. 411 00:42:23,931 --> 00:42:24,631 Huh? 412 00:42:24,632 --> 00:42:27,054 It was the strangest thing I ever saw in my life. 413 00:42:27,055 --> 00:42:30,609 Sure. But it was a pink elephant, too. 414 00:42:30,610 --> 00:42:33,311 I'm telling ya, these guys were going to kill us. 415 00:42:33,312 --> 00:42:36,836 It saved our lives. It was a hero. 416 00:42:36,837 --> 00:42:38,621 A hero! 417 00:42:40,243 --> 00:42:41,879 This guy is drunk. 418 00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:47,492 Would you mind if I touched your face? 419 00:42:47,493 --> 00:42:48,093 No! 420 00:42:48,094 --> 00:42:52,039 No? Why not? I won't hurt you, Melvin. 421 00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:56,547 It's not that. It's just that I have a rash on my face. 422 00:42:56,548 --> 00:42:59,000 A rash? You mean acne? 423 00:42:59,001 --> 00:43:02,055 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it. It's nothing to worry about 424 00:43:02,056 --> 00:43:03,899 but I wouldn't want you to touch it. 425 00:43:03,900 --> 00:43:06,399 You shouldn't be ashamed of acne. 426 00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,399 Everybody's had acne at one time or another. 427 00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,836 Hey, I know. Would you like me to tell your fortune? 428 00:43:12,837 --> 00:43:13,555 Huh? 429 00:43:13,556 --> 00:43:16,630 I read palms. Give me your hand. 430 00:43:19,300 --> 00:43:22,058 What big hands you have. 431 00:43:22,246 --> 00:43:24,605 I bet you're very strong. 432 00:43:24,725 --> 00:43:27,399 Hmm. Let me see. You're going to have 433 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,899 a lot of good things coming too you in the future. 434 00:43:30,900 --> 00:43:34,399 You're going to become a very important man. 435 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,996 Let me see your other hand. 436 00:43:41,461 --> 00:43:44,469 Oops! Sorry. 437 00:43:51,870 --> 00:43:53,916 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 438 00:43:53,917 --> 00:43:57,399 With us this afternoon is, Dr. Mertyn Snodberger 439 00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,899 from the Garden State State Cerebral Reflex Research Center. 440 00:44:00,900 --> 00:44:03,087 Ah, can you tell me, sir, 441 00:44:03,088 --> 00:44:06,719 is it true that the monster only attacks bad people? 442 00:44:06,720 --> 00:44:12,399 Ja. Ja. Since only bad, evil people have been destroyed 443 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:18,320 by the monster, I would have to answer your question. Ja. 444 00:44:18,321 --> 00:44:21,526 From traces that have been found on the scenes 445 00:44:21,527 --> 00:44:25,899 of the crime, and analyzed, we have determined 446 00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:29,399 that whatever it is, this monster has been exposed 447 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,961 to toxic chemical waste. 448 00:44:33,103 --> 00:44:35,070 Achoo! 449 00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:44,399 It is also highly probable that this monster may 450 00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:48,399 have developed a very basic instinct which draws him, 451 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:55,128 or should I say, commands him to destroy evil. 452 00:45:12,845 --> 00:45:15,703 That new camera really captures the moment! 453 00:45:15,704 --> 00:45:20,542 I know. The reds are so red! Really get me hot! 454 00:45:31,908 --> 00:45:32,718 Mr. Mayor? 455 00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:33,273 Yeah? 456 00:45:33,274 --> 00:45:37,733 I got today�fs receipts from the drug division. Ha ha! 457 00:45:37,734 --> 00:45:40,383 Good boy, Dennis. Put it over there on the table. 458 00:45:40,384 --> 00:45:42,402 Bookie will get to it later. 459 00:48:11,086 --> 00:48:13,177 Listen, you asshole, how many times are you going to 460 00:48:13,178 --> 00:48:15,216 pull that Elephant Man joke? 461 00:48:31,595 --> 00:48:34,025 Let this be a lesson to you, hot ass! 462 00:48:41,634 --> 00:48:45,672 This monster may have developed a very basic instinct, 463 00:48:45,673 --> 00:48:49,137 to destroy evil. 464 00:48:49,220 --> 00:48:51,406 Hey, you! In the alley! 465 00:48:51,407 --> 00:48:57,188 Hey, knucklehead! How about some nice young poontang, huh? 466 00:48:57,189 --> 00:49:01,061 No! No, take me home! No, take me home! 467 00:49:01,062 --> 00:49:03,023 No, you lied to me! 468 00:49:03,024 --> 00:49:06,116 You said you were going to take me to see the David Bowie concert! 469 00:49:06,117 --> 00:49:08,405 He's not David Bowie! 470 00:49:09,101 --> 00:49:14,265 Only twelve years old, and only twelve dollars! 471 00:49:18,486 --> 00:49:21,366 Boys! Boys! Help! 472 00:49:24,944 --> 00:49:27,944 Help, boys! Help! 473 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,140 And you can tell all your scum friends that things 474 00:50:02,141 --> 00:50:04,609 are going to change in this town! 475 00:50:04,610 --> 00:50:06,815 I'm not just another pretty face! 476 00:50:33,246 --> 00:50:36,366 Two prime candidates. 477 00:50:36,367 --> 00:50:37,750 Yeah. 478 00:50:37,751 --> 00:50:39,973 Rack 'em up! 479 00:50:50,220 --> 00:50:52,720 - Wow! - Wow! 480 00:51:54,532 --> 00:51:56,547 I hear the monster is so big. 481 00:51:56,548 --> 00:51:59,148 Well, I bet he's got his eye on me. 482 00:51:59,149 --> 00:52:01,727 For your information, everyone knows Monster Prefer Blondes! 483 00:52:01,728 --> 00:52:04,321 There's a feeling going around town that this monster 484 00:52:04,322 --> 00:52:06,508 is here to protect the people. 485 00:52:06,509 --> 00:52:09,367 And the jail's are becoming overcrowded. 486 00:52:09,368 --> 00:52:13,141 This monster has cleaned the streets of every criminal. 487 00:52:13,142 --> 00:52:18,141 Almost all the criminals. He hasn't gotten us yet. 488 00:52:18,142 --> 00:52:20,586 What the hell are we going to do about this monster, eh? 489 00:52:20,587 --> 00:52:23,469 I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to kill him. 490 00:52:23,470 --> 00:52:28,727 Because if we don't kill him, he's going to kill us. 491 00:52:33,291 --> 00:52:36,624 I owe you for the other night, monster fagot! 492 00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:44,680 So now we're going to give you six new assholes, 493 00:52:44,681 --> 00:52:47,967 compliments of me, Cigar Face! 494 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:06,719 Boom! You should've seen it! His teeth was everywhere! 495 00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:09,220 They looked like Chiclets! 496 00:53:09,352 --> 00:53:11,935 Hey, what are you doing, blondie? 497 00:53:11,936 --> 00:53:13,617 I'm waiting for my boyfriend. 498 00:53:13,618 --> 00:53:14,913 She's waiting for her boyfriend. 499 00:53:14,914 --> 00:53:18,223 Well, maybe I'm going to be your boyfriend, baby! 500 00:53:18,376 --> 00:53:21,687 Hey, stop that! My boyfriend won't like that! 501 00:53:21,688 --> 00:53:25,427 Maybe we'll have to take care of that wimp of a boyfriend, huh? 502 00:53:25,663 --> 00:53:26,898 Melvin! Melvin! 503 00:53:26,899 --> 00:53:27,727 Melvin! 504 00:53:27,728 --> 00:53:28,899 Melvin!? 505 00:53:28,900 --> 00:53:30,326 Melvin! 506 00:53:30,327 --> 00:53:33,774 Yeah, Melvin. What's up, guys? 507 00:53:53,610 --> 00:53:58,740 Why, Melvin, you're beautiful. You're a beautiful person. 508 00:54:00,189 --> 00:54:06,005 You're so muscular. It's been two years since I touched a man. 509 00:54:09,158 --> 00:54:14,728 What are you doing to me? I've never felt like this before. 510 00:56:11,086 --> 00:56:12,312 Murderer! 511 00:56:17,220 --> 00:56:19,332 I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll never forget! 512 00:56:35,714 --> 00:56:36,419 No! 513 00:56:36,420 --> 00:56:38,220 Sorry, madam. 514 00:56:46,103 --> 00:56:49,940 Open up please, open up! 515 00:56:50,610 --> 00:56:55,110 Help me! Oh, please open up! Help me! 516 00:57:01,649 --> 00:57:03,182 Going up? 517 00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:09,225 Let me out Let me out! Please, someone help me! 518 00:58:22,540 --> 00:58:27,414 Aah! She's stressing me, Slug! Julie is stressing me, Slug! 519 00:58:27,415 --> 00:58:29,649 I can't take it! I cannot take this, Slug! 520 00:58:29,650 --> 00:58:31,507 She's not here with car and I've got to drive. 521 00:58:31,508 --> 00:58:33,022 I gotta drive, Slug! I gotta drive! 522 00:58:33,023 --> 00:58:35,444 Alright, already. Alright. Will you chill out? 523 00:58:40,648 --> 00:58:44,921 Hey, how would you like to be behind the wheel 524 00:58:44,922 --> 00:58:47,739 of a beautiful Japanese import? 525 00:58:50,322 --> 00:58:52,594 Oh, that would be good! 526 00:58:56,033 --> 00:58:58,187 Hi, can we help? 527 00:58:58,188 --> 00:59:00,180 Oh, you sure can. 528 00:59:01,033 --> 00:59:04,032 Thank you so much. Oh, it's so nice to have you 529 00:59:04,033 --> 00:59:06,910 boys like you here in the neighborhood. 530 00:59:12,603 --> 00:59:16,831 Oh, what a feeling, today! 531 00:59:26,533 --> 00:59:29,532 Did you see her face when I punched her? 532 00:59:29,533 --> 00:59:32,260 I beat that old lady like a dog! 533 00:59:34,033 --> 00:59:36,255 Slug, there's that thing again! 534 00:59:37,736 --> 00:59:39,403 Let's get it! 535 00:59:46,282 --> 00:59:48,781 Shit! He's on the roof! He's on the roof! 536 00:59:48,782 --> 00:59:51,147 Get him off! He's going to kill both of us! 537 00:59:51,416 --> 00:59:54,115 Swerve the car, Bozo! Swerve the car! 538 00:59:55,056 --> 00:59:57,283 I can't control the car! 539 01:00:03,337 --> 01:00:05,945 He's still there, swerve it again! Swerve it again! 540 01:00:13,033 --> 01:00:16,033 I can't get him off the car, Slug! I can't get him off! 541 01:00:20,149 --> 01:00:22,062 Slug, I'm going to die! 542 01:00:22,063 --> 01:00:25,131 Take the wheel, Slug! Take the wheel! 543 01:00:25,218 --> 01:00:27,032 I'm stressed! 544 01:00:27,033 --> 01:00:28,483 Ah, what? 545 01:00:29,220 --> 01:00:30,720 What? 546 01:00:37,611 --> 01:00:39,611 Get out of here! 547 01:00:44,468 --> 01:00:45,718 No! 548 01:00:49,805 --> 01:00:51,648 See how you like this face, huh, Bozo? 549 01:00:51,649 --> 01:00:54,760 You know who this is? It's Melvin, that's who it is! 550 01:01:17,533 --> 01:01:20,126 Hey, hey, hey, what about the kid on the bike, Bozo? 551 01:01:20,127 --> 01:01:23,127 How does it feel to hit a kid on a bike? Feels good! 552 01:01:24,040 --> 01:01:27,391 I've got problems! I've got problems! I'm a stressed person! 553 01:01:31,951 --> 01:01:33,404 No, no! 554 01:02:10,900 --> 01:02:12,659 Give me the wheel! 555 01:02:15,033 --> 01:02:18,080 Just give me the wheel! You'll going to kill both of us! 556 01:02:19,782 --> 01:02:24,282 You want the wheel? Here, take the wheel! 557 01:03:35,533 --> 01:03:38,032 Yoohoo! Mr. Wilson! 558 01:03:38,033 --> 01:03:40,172 Mrs Haskel, how are you? 559 01:03:40,173 --> 01:03:41,423 Fine, thank you. 560 01:03:41,424 --> 01:03:43,211 How are the boys? 561 01:03:43,212 --> 01:03:46,977 Those boys are such terrors. Especially Scott. 562 01:03:46,978 --> 01:03:50,251 He took his best girl out last night and he came home 563 01:03:50,252 --> 01:03:53,539 with these stains, all over his pants. 564 01:03:53,649 --> 01:03:55,646 I don't know what they are. 565 01:03:55,647 --> 01:03:56,882 I don't either. 566 01:03:56,883 --> 01:03:58,883 Do you think you can get them out? 567 01:04:00,071 --> 01:04:03,828 My car! They're putting a ticket on my car! 568 01:04:03,829 --> 01:04:06,514 Mrs. Haskel, don't move. Don't move. Stay right where you are. 569 01:04:06,515 --> 01:04:07,396 I'll be right back. 570 01:04:07,397 --> 01:04:10,717 You can't give me a ticket! You can't give me a ticket! I have to go to a funeral... 571 01:04:13,782 --> 01:04:16,234 Hey, who do you think you're pushing? 572 01:04:17,149 --> 01:04:18,742 What do you want? 573 01:04:18,906 --> 01:04:21,734 Stay away from me! Stay away from me! 574 01:04:21,735 --> 01:04:25,699 Help! Help! Help! Help! 575 01:04:25,700 --> 01:04:30,086 Stay away from me! Stay away from me! Help! 576 01:04:30,087 --> 01:04:32,578 Help! Help! 577 01:04:32,579 --> 01:04:33,858 What the...? 578 01:04:35,766 --> 01:04:38,553 Put me down! I didn't do anything! 579 01:04:44,822 --> 01:04:47,379 No Dickie here. No washie. 580 01:04:57,353 --> 01:05:01,853 Please, don't give me a ticket! Please, don't give me a ticket! 581 01:05:06,502 --> 01:05:09,532 Okay, Mrs. Haskel, let's see what we can do with these stains. 582 01:05:09,533 --> 01:05:13,508 Mrs. Haskel. Mrs. Haskel, what are you doing back there? 583 01:05:13,509 --> 01:05:16,598 You know customers are not allowed on that machine. 584 01:05:17,017 --> 01:05:19,017 Mrs. Haskel. 585 01:06:06,673 --> 01:06:09,242 Melvin, is that you? 586 01:06:12,775 --> 01:06:14,578 Melvin? 587 01:06:18,833 --> 01:06:20,474 Who's there? 588 01:06:21,613 --> 01:06:23,337 Who is that? 589 01:06:35,286 --> 01:06:38,786 It's me, Sarah. Only me. 590 01:06:39,027 --> 01:06:42,244 You scared me. Is something wrong? 591 01:06:42,245 --> 01:06:44,745 Everything is wrong. 592 01:06:44,996 --> 01:06:47,089 What the matter? What have I done? 593 01:06:47,090 --> 01:06:51,277 No, it's not what you've done. It's what I've done. 594 01:06:51,278 --> 01:06:53,332 I think I'm out of control. 595 01:06:53,333 --> 01:06:57,730 You see, you're blind, Sara. You don't know who I am. 596 01:06:58,333 --> 01:07:01,832 I'm really the monster hero you heard about. 597 01:07:01,833 --> 01:07:04,924 And everyday I go out and I mash people. 598 01:07:04,925 --> 01:07:07,902 I tear them apart and I can't stop. 599 01:07:07,903 --> 01:07:09,238 You better move back to your apartment. 600 01:07:09,239 --> 01:07:10,769 I don't think its safe for you to be around me. 601 01:07:10,770 --> 01:07:16,292 Oh, Melvin. I couldn't leave you now. I love you, Melvin. 602 01:07:17,855 --> 01:07:20,832 I wish we could go somewhere. 603 01:07:20,833 --> 01:07:25,462 Yeah, some far away place. Where there are no people. 604 01:07:25,463 --> 01:07:27,933 Where I can't kill anybody. 605 01:07:27,934 --> 01:07:31,332 What about that spot near Millers farm that you told me about? 606 01:07:31,333 --> 01:07:33,332 Where you used to go to be alone. 607 01:07:33,333 --> 01:07:35,697 You said that was a very special place. 608 01:07:35,698 --> 01:07:39,680 Well, we could try it. 609 01:07:40,333 --> 01:07:42,832 Do you think I look inconspicuous enough? 610 01:07:42,833 --> 01:07:45,833 I'll feel better when we get to the campsite. 611 01:07:48,090 --> 01:07:49,261 Mayor, Mayor! 612 01:07:49,262 --> 01:07:52,698 Chief, look. Our monster made a little bit of a mistake. 613 01:07:52,699 --> 01:07:54,738 You can't go around dry cleaning little old ladies 614 01:07:54,739 --> 01:07:56,832 the public won't stand for it. 615 01:07:56,833 --> 01:07:58,995 We can kill him now with no flack from anybody. 616 01:07:58,996 --> 01:08:01,832 Nein, nein. Bad news, Mayor, 617 01:08:01,833 --> 01:08:05,113 That old lady was hardly a pillar of the community. 618 01:08:05,114 --> 01:08:09,331 In fact, she can a head of an international white slavery ring. 619 01:08:09,332 --> 01:08:09,878 Shit... 620 01:08:09,879 --> 01:08:12,950 And she had a police record a mile long. 621 01:08:12,973 --> 01:08:14,332 We've got to cover this up. 622 01:08:14,333 --> 01:08:16,581 If it ever gets out to the press we're sunk. 623 01:08:16,582 --> 01:08:19,665 And I want you to do me a favor. Kill that bastard for me! You got it? 624 01:08:19,666 --> 01:08:20,254 Kill him! 625 01:08:20,255 --> 01:08:22,255 Yes, mein fuhrer. Mein mayor! 626 01:08:22,333 --> 01:08:25,090 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. 627 01:08:25,091 --> 01:08:27,832 Mayor Peter Bellgoode will now take questions 628 01:08:27,833 --> 01:08:30,284 from the ladies and gentlemen of the press. 629 01:08:33,629 --> 01:08:35,167 Uh, Miss Fink. 630 01:08:35,168 --> 01:08:38,667 What your administration stance in regards to this alleged monster? 631 01:08:38,668 --> 01:08:40,551 Is he a menace or a miracle? 632 01:08:40,552 --> 01:08:43,566 He's definitely a menace, Miss Fink. Right now there�fs a massive 633 01:08:43,567 --> 01:08:48,054 search underway to find the thing and destroy it. 634 01:08:48,833 --> 01:08:50,332 Yes, Mr. Leonard? 635 01:08:50,333 --> 01:08:52,332 Instead of trying to kill him, shouldn't we be trying 636 01:08:52,333 --> 01:08:55,185 to capture him, bring him in, study him? 637 01:08:55,186 --> 01:09:00,292 It is not a human being. It is an it. You kill an it. 638 01:09:00,293 --> 01:09:01,472 Mr. Mayor. Mr. Mayor. 639 01:09:01,473 --> 01:09:02,487 Yes, Mr. Williams? 640 01:09:02,488 --> 01:09:06,082 The victim killed in the dry cleaners, Mrs, ah, Haskel. 641 01:09:06,083 --> 01:09:07,831 What's her background? What do we know about her? 642 01:09:07,832 --> 01:09:11,832 Mrs. Haskel was a member of our community for over 30 years. 643 01:09:11,833 --> 01:09:15,832 Also a member of the PTA. She had two fine sons. 644 01:09:15,833 --> 01:09:17,956 Everyone that know her, loved her. 645 01:09:17,957 --> 01:09:20,654 Question! Question! Are you certain, Mr. Mayor, 646 01:09:20,655 --> 01:09:22,472 that the chief Himmel and the police department 647 01:09:22,473 --> 01:09:24,451 can handle the situation in Tromaville? 648 01:09:24,452 --> 01:09:28,238 I have the utmost regard for the chief, and his department. 649 01:09:28,239 --> 01:09:30,253 As I've said, he's conducting a massive search 650 01:09:30,254 --> 01:09:32,066 for the monster right now. 651 01:09:32,067 --> 01:09:35,832 I want this thing found and I want this thing killed! 652 01:09:35,833 --> 01:09:38,832 The mayor has notified the governor and he's prepared 653 01:09:38,833 --> 01:09:41,332 to give us all the assistance we need. 654 01:09:41,333 --> 01:09:43,332 Should we break out the heavy weapons? 655 01:09:43,333 --> 01:09:44,332 Come on, boys. 656 01:09:44,333 --> 01:09:46,832 I'd be dead right now if it wasn't for the monster! 657 01:09:46,833 --> 01:09:50,332 Don't you think you're being a bit hasty? 658 01:09:50,333 --> 01:09:54,332 Clancy, you will do as you're told or you'll find yourself 659 01:09:54,333 --> 01:09:57,355 walking a beat in the city dump! 660 01:09:57,356 --> 01:10:02,652 Now I want this thing shot and I want you to shoot to kill! 661 01:10:02,653 --> 01:10:06,339 That monster saved my life. He's done a lot of good for this town. 662 01:10:06,340 --> 01:10:08,722 Why are they going to kill him? 663 01:10:08,723 --> 01:10:11,238 We should speak out! Do something! 664 01:10:11,239 --> 01:10:13,527 Roy, why don't you do something! Speak out! 665 01:10:13,528 --> 01:10:15,715 You want me to speak up? If I speak up, 666 01:10:15,716 --> 01:10:18,832 I lose my business license. If I lose my business license, 667 01:10:18,833 --> 01:10:21,332 I'm dead. Do you want another shake? 668 01:10:21,333 --> 01:10:24,527 No! I want them not to kill the monster. 669 01:10:24,528 --> 01:10:26,332 I want us to do something! 670 01:10:26,333 --> 01:10:28,832 Listen, Johnny, you're just a kid. 671 01:10:28,833 --> 01:10:31,832 People can't go around doing things just because they're right. 672 01:10:31,833 --> 01:10:33,832 We have to leave these decisions up to the mayor 673 01:10:33,833 --> 01:10:35,832 - and the police chief. - That's right. 674 01:10:35,833 --> 01:10:37,832 But why would the mayor want to destroy something 675 01:10:37,833 --> 01:10:41,333 that does more good than the entire police force? 676 01:10:42,333 --> 01:10:43,832 No offense. 677 01:10:43,833 --> 01:10:46,832 I know how you feel, Johnny, he saved my life too. 678 01:10:46,833 --> 01:10:50,832 But us, little guys, are just not qualified to make these decisions. 679 01:10:50,833 --> 01:10:53,332 That's why he's the mayor. 680 01:10:53,333 --> 01:10:55,833 Right? 681 01:10:58,333 --> 01:11:01,859 We're gonna find that bastard, now. Come on. Come on, girl! 682 01:11:01,860 --> 01:11:02,963 Heel. Come on. 683 01:11:02,964 --> 01:11:06,094 My first day on the force and I'm chasing monsters! 684 01:11:11,333 --> 01:11:13,392 The dogs got a scent! 685 01:11:18,083 --> 01:11:20,832 I'm missing the ball game for this bullshit! 686 01:11:20,833 --> 01:11:22,332 We ain't going to find no monster out here, 687 01:11:22,333 --> 01:11:25,832 all we're going to find is a bunch of mosquitoes biting my fuckin' asshole! 688 01:11:25,833 --> 01:11:28,097 Shut your fuckin' mouth! 689 01:11:28,098 --> 01:11:29,901 Hold on a second, I think I see something. 690 01:11:29,902 --> 01:11:31,039 You don't see nothing but a couple 691 01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:33,832 of campers humping each other. Come on, let's go home! 692 01:11:33,833 --> 01:11:35,832 Holy shit! It's the monster! 693 01:11:35,833 --> 01:11:36,832 Oh, sure! 694 01:11:36,833 --> 01:11:38,831 And he's got a bimbo with him! 695 01:11:38,832 --> 01:11:40,332 Oh, he's got your Mama with him! 696 01:11:40,333 --> 01:11:42,854 And she's wearing a bikini! Wow! 697 01:11:42,855 --> 01:11:44,832 Wait, let me see! 698 01:11:44,833 --> 01:11:48,266 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 699 01:11:49,833 --> 01:11:53,070 Come on, let's go tell the chief! I'm going to get me a medal for this! 700 01:11:53,071 --> 01:11:55,236 Mayor! Mayor! Mayor! 701 01:11:55,653 --> 01:11:58,832 The monster has been sighted in a field near Miller farm. 702 01:11:58,833 --> 01:11:59,832 That's wonderful! 703 01:11:59,833 --> 01:12:02,832 I'll have the National Guard meet us out there in full force. 704 01:12:02,833 --> 01:12:03,713 You leave now! 705 01:12:03,714 --> 01:12:05,099 Ja! 706 01:12:05,333 --> 01:12:08,793 Hello, Mr. Governor, how are you, sir? 707 01:12:08,794 --> 01:12:11,332 Fine, just fine. 708 01:12:11,333 --> 01:12:15,293 Governor, I need your help, sir. 709 01:12:15,294 --> 01:12:18,293 It's about this monster that's been terrorizing my town. 710 01:12:18,294 --> 01:12:22,359 The local authorities can no longer handle the situation. 711 01:12:23,231 --> 01:12:25,266 That's why I need your help. 712 01:12:25,627 --> 01:12:27,832 The National Guard? 713 01:12:27,833 --> 01:12:31,133 I was hoping you'd say that, so we can kill it. 714 01:12:33,441 --> 01:12:38,793 Capture it? Well, I was thinking the very same thing. 715 01:12:38,794 --> 01:12:43,762 Yes, capture would be fine. Uh-huh. Well, thank you, Governor. 716 01:12:43,763 --> 01:12:47,263 Talk to you soon. Goodbye, sir. 717 01:12:50,161 --> 01:12:52,657 Capture, my ass! 718 01:13:07,597 --> 01:13:10,292 I don't like the way this is going sargent. 719 01:13:10,293 --> 01:13:11,832 I know. 720 01:13:11,833 --> 01:13:14,672 The little people think he's done a lot for this town. 721 01:13:19,606 --> 01:13:24,033 Oh, my God! They're calling in the National Guard! 722 01:13:24,034 --> 01:13:26,332 Oh, look at all those men! 723 01:13:26,333 --> 01:13:27,832 Oh, I hope they don't hurt the monster. 724 01:13:27,833 --> 01:13:30,800 Monster, they aught to give him a medal, not kill him. 725 01:13:34,833 --> 01:13:39,233 They're going to nuke him! They're going to nuke the monster! 726 01:13:45,333 --> 01:13:48,363 - They found the monster! - He's at the Miller Farm! 727 01:13:48,364 --> 01:13:49,667 They're going to kill him! 728 01:13:49,668 --> 01:13:53,140 Holy cow! We can't let him die! 729 01:13:54,129 --> 01:13:56,629 Let's go! 730 01:14:42,214 --> 01:14:43,714 Out of the way! 731 01:14:43,761 --> 01:14:44,830 Stand aside. 732 01:14:44,831 --> 01:14:47,807 Tent's in the clearing, Mayor. My troops have it surrounded. 733 01:14:47,808 --> 01:14:49,375 We think he's still asleep. 734 01:14:49,376 --> 01:14:52,393 Fine, we'll move in and wipe him out. 735 01:14:52,394 --> 01:14:55,415 You can't do that, Mayor. I've rechecked with headquarters 736 01:14:55,416 --> 01:14:57,588 They want us to take him alive, not kill him. 737 01:14:57,589 --> 01:14:59,603 Your in charge, Pete. Come on, give the orders! 738 01:14:59,604 --> 01:15:03,337 Mr. mayor, please, please, think of what you are doing! 739 01:15:03,385 --> 01:15:05,697 There's an innocent girl in there with him! 740 01:15:06,440 --> 01:15:08,400 Just one life for the whole town! 741 01:15:08,401 --> 01:15:10,297 But, Mr Mayor, you don't understand! 742 01:15:10,298 --> 01:15:12,407 He saved my life! He doesn't deserve to die! 743 01:15:12,408 --> 01:15:13,252 Shut up! 744 01:15:13,253 --> 01:15:16,361 Now you don't understand the seriousness of this situation here, boy! 745 01:15:16,362 --> 01:15:20,799 How dare you discuss my son's life or death like this. 746 01:15:20,800 --> 01:15:23,830 I'm Melvin's mother. He's a good boy. 747 01:15:23,831 --> 01:15:26,179 He's never hurt anybody! 748 01:15:27,776 --> 01:15:33,086 Silence! Silence! The orders have been given! 749 01:15:33,143 --> 01:15:36,971 It is our destiny to follow the orders! 750 01:15:46,143 --> 01:15:50,111 You in the tent, come out with your hands up! 751 01:15:50,112 --> 01:15:51,972 You are surrounded! 752 01:15:55,651 --> 01:15:57,873 The minute he comes out, kill him. 753 01:15:59,698 --> 01:16:01,229 - I'm coming with you. - No, you're not. 754 01:16:01,230 --> 01:16:02,498 You've got to stay here. 755 01:16:02,499 --> 01:16:07,080 No, I can't let you do it! He's a hero. I can't let you do it! I can't let you do it! 756 01:16:07,081 --> 01:16:09,604 Don't shoot him! Don't shoot! 757 01:16:09,605 --> 01:16:12,878 If you want to shoot my son, you'll have to shoot me first! 758 01:16:20,539 --> 01:16:23,461 Okay, lads. Get these kids out of there! 759 01:16:24,831 --> 01:16:26,853 It's okay, Mom. Kids. 760 01:16:26,854 --> 01:16:27,915 Shoot it! 761 01:16:27,916 --> 01:16:29,900 Run! Run! 762 01:16:29,901 --> 01:16:30,932 Fire! 763 01:16:30,933 --> 01:16:33,393 No, I won't do it. 764 01:16:33,394 --> 01:16:35,539 These kids are right. 765 01:16:40,510 --> 01:16:42,064 Captain, have your men fire! 766 01:16:42,065 --> 01:16:43,627 No, I can't. 767 01:16:43,628 --> 01:16:45,628 Shoot them! You shoot! 768 01:16:51,597 --> 01:16:52,424 Fire! 769 01:16:52,425 --> 01:16:53,478 Melvin! 770 01:16:53,479 --> 01:16:55,250 Alright, I'll do it myself! 771 01:16:55,251 --> 01:16:56,817 No! 772 01:16:56,956 --> 01:16:59,935 You touch me again and I'll kill you! 773 01:17:18,065 --> 01:17:20,009 Get away from me! 774 01:17:21,238 --> 01:17:23,064 Get away from me! 775 01:17:24,253 --> 01:17:27,439 No! Ah, get away from me! 776 01:17:27,440 --> 01:17:29,939 Leave me alone! Look, I'll make you a deal! 777 01:17:29,940 --> 01:17:32,157 I'll give you 10%, anything, just leave alone! 778 01:17:32,924 --> 01:17:35,462 Don't hurt me! I'm too young to die! 779 01:17:35,463 --> 01:17:36,978 Please don't hurt me! 780 01:17:36,979 --> 01:17:40,413 Please! 781 01:17:40,995 --> 01:17:44,334 You fat slob, let's see if you have any guts! 782 01:17:59,815 --> 01:18:04,821 Officer O'Clancy, take care of this toxic waste. 783 01:18:07,839 --> 01:18:09,432 Melvin! 784 01:18:09,433 --> 01:18:10,540 Sarah! 785 01:18:10,541 --> 01:18:11,556 Melvin! 786 01:18:11,557 --> 01:18:12,674 Sara! 787 01:18:12,675 --> 01:18:14,431 Melvin! Ah! 788 01:18:14,432 --> 01:18:15,595 Sarah! 789 01:18:15,596 --> 01:18:16,955 Melvin! 790 01:18:16,956 --> 01:18:18,332 Sarah! 791 01:18:18,333 --> 01:18:19,953 Melvin? 792 01:18:20,059 --> 01:18:21,395 Sarah! 793 01:18:44,331 --> 01:18:48,337 So, Melvin, the monster hero, rid Tromaville of all of it's evils, 794 01:18:48,338 --> 01:18:52,406 so the good citizens could live their lives in peace and happiness. 795 01:18:53,128 --> 01:18:56,344 And the next time you're in danger or in need to help, 796 01:18:56,345 --> 01:19:00,726 look to the horizon and maybe, just maybe... 797 01:19:01,542 --> 01:19:04,625 The Toxic Avenger will be there. 798 01:19:07,041 --> 01:19:08,932 Captioned by Korimokosan59812

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