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1
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:08,442
(epic action music playing)
2
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:27,294
Now that I, Chinnos,
finally wield the Doomsday App,
3
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:30,764
I can restart this planet
in flames,
4
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:32,099
as a utopia.
5
00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:34,334
I don't know, Chinnos.
You say "utopia,"
6
00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:36,169
but what I'm hearing is
"kill everyone."
7
00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:38,972
And I really don't want to find
a new dry cleaner.
8
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,941
Your funny‐but‐not‐too‐funny
banter
9
00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:43,944
will not save you,
Magnesium Man.
10
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:46,914
Yeah, but it did distract you,
didn't it, Dad Bod?
11
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,148
Take him, Airshot!
12
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:51,351
(weapon clicking)
13
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:53,854
Yes, Airshot, pump that air gun!
14
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:57,057
Five pumps?
Think of the pressure.
15
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:03,997
Aw, what's the matter?
Bad head day?
16
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:10,237
It's time I took the Vindicators
out of the equation.
17
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:18,045
I'll take that dance now.
18
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:22,249
(audience crying)
19
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:26,153
Their first kiss was their last.
20
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:38,365
(audience crying)
21
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,367
Huh? (stammering)
22
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,436
(snoring)
23
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:47,374
Wow. It was called Crystal War
24
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,576
because they were all
turned to crystals.
25
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:53,146
Hey, now is not the time
for your cold‐hearted analysis.
26
00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:55,849
The sequel isn't coming out
for a year.
27
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,885
What loving God would make us
wait that long?
28
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,121
A year?
That's, like, a million years.
29
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:04,291
I cannot wait.
Don't you leave me,
30
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:06,293
you be‐cape‐ed gob‐smashers!
31
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,728
(grunts)
32
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,503
Children, I pulled you
out of your classes today
33
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:19,072
to warn you of a dangerous
new Internet trend.
34
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,008
The paprika challenge?
35
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,076
(muffled):
The eight ball challenge?
36
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,979
No, the highly‐imitatable stunt
I'm referring to
37
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:28,248
is the "flag yourself"
challenge.
38
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,851
(excited chatter)
39
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:32,953
Instead of a merely
verbal warning,
40
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:35,055
it's clear to me
a more effective deterrent
41
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:36,957
would be to show you
a video of the stunt
42
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:40,861
performed by YouTube star
Reaction Guy.
43
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:42,729
Whoa, Reaction Guy?
44
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:45,766
Everybody who's anybody
gets reacted to by him.
45
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,135
Watch and learn...
to not do this.
46
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:51,738
What up, Reaction Faction?It's your boy, Reaction Guy.
47
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:54,641
Today I'm gonna be reactingto the Flag Yourself Challenge.
48
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:58,311
Shout‐out to my crew, Hedgehog,Thin Mint, and White Malik.
49
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,080
They're gonna raise melike a flag.
50
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,049
(students exclaiming)
51
00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:04,084
(excited chatter)
52
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:08,689
Whoa‐ho!Whoa, this is so clench!
53
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:09,956
‐(overlapping chatter)
‐Wow, cool!
54
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,358
Ooh, ooh!
55
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,097
Hey, guys, this is Bart Simpsn
56
00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:19,199
from my new channel,Reaction Bart.
57
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,568
Big shout‐out to my boy WhiteSeymour for putting me onto
58
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:24,304
the Flag Yourself Challenge.So clench!
59
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,907
Okay, hit it. Check it out.
60
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:29,910
I'm waving at my hatersand they don't even know it.
61
00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:32,546
Clench! Clench! Whoa‐ho‐ho!
62
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:34,081
Buy my merch.
63
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,616
Merch to come. Merch!
64
00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:37,684
Whoa.
65
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:44,691
Whoa. His obliques
must be shredded.
66
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:47,327
I got to check them out
next time we go swimming.
67
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:50,597
Whoa! (grunting)
68
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:53,533
Oh, ooh, ow, ooh.
69
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,535
Milhouse, no!
70
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:58,205
I need your passcode
to upload the video.
71
00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:03,610
Yo, Milhouse, I got you
a balloon form the gift shop.
72
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,746
Oh.
73
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,814
So what'd the doctors say?
74
00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:10,317
(groans) I have
a full‐body sprain.
75
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:13,820
Most of my muscles are wrapped
around the wrong bones.
76
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,022
Okay, champ,
physical therapy time.
77
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,158
Who's ready for four hours
of stretch bands?
78
00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,494
No, not the purple.
79
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:24,331
(whimpering)
80
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,701
Glucose? (chuckles)
81
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,936
Don't mind if I do‐cose.
(slurping)
82
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,174
Okay, mate, you can do this.
83
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:37,177
It's hard, but those little
buggers are counting on you.
84
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:40,113
Do it for the buggers.
85
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,615
(gulping)
86
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,216
Ugh. (shudders)
87
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,789
(gulping)
88
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:53,026
‐Top of the bing‐bong, ladies.
‐(gasps)
89
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,929
‐You're Glen Tangier.
‐You're Airshot.
90
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,898
Good on you, Nightingales.
91
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,167
Now, who can point me
towards, uh,
92
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,969
"Milhouse Van Houten"?
93
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:06,439
Ooh, right down the hall
and to the left, Glen.
94
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:10,677
Wow. Flirt much, Debby?
95
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,846
Sorry, we can't all
be married to
96
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:16,550
Ogdenville's car detailing king
Duke Druthers.
97
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,919
What's up, little bro?
98
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,822
How's my favorite
real‐life superhero?
99
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:24,257
Holy crap, you're Glen Tangier.
100
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,560
Uh‐uh‐uh, never heard of him.
101
00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:29,162
The name's Airshot.
102
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:31,231
(blows)
103
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,266
You're my favorite Vindicator.
104
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,903
You don't even have any powers,
you're just super good at air.
105
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,873
Uh, easy now. Don't get
too excited, Milhouse.
106
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,875
Oh, I'm not...
107
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,677
I am Milhouse.
108
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:46,012
(whimpering)
109
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,948
That's right. (chuckling)
Calm down, hero.
110
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,617
Don't make whatever
you have worse.
111
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,954
Is it something that gets worse?
Please don't say it gets worse.
112
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,922
Oh, don't worry, Airshot,
I'm okay.
113
00:05:55,989 --> 00:06:00,060
Well, aren't you just Pimm
to the brim with Adelaide spunk?
114
00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:01,494
(gulping)
115
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,730
Oh, thank boomerang Jesus
116
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,332
you're not one of those
brave little buggers
117
00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:07,000
that I have to show this to.
118
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,002
Wait, what do you got in there?
119
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,938
Oh, it's a laptop
with the sequel
120
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:15,842
to the Vindicators:Crystal garbage.
121
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:20,513
(gulping) All that matters is
you're gonna be okay, mate.
122
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:24,184
(yawns) Never wanted
to be an actor anyway,
123
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:27,954
just a simple koala butcher
like me old man.
124
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:31,024
(snoring)
125
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:37,163
Yo, Airshot. Glen.
126
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,233
(snoring continues)
127
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,469
Hello.
128
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:47,007
(laptop beeps)
129
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:48,909
Sweet boomerang Jeebus.
130
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,977
(epic action music playing)
131
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,184
What an ending.
132
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,454
People are gonna freak out
when they see it...
133
00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,223
in a month from now.
134
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:07,594
Till then, I'm the only one
that knows what happens.
135
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:10,130
Only I know.
136
00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:14,267
I'm the most powerful kid
in the world.
137
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:17,137
‐(thunder crashes)
‐(snoring)
138
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:20,073
Toss that Kanga shank
into the billy‐boil.
139
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:23,009
It'll be tender by moon jump.
140
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:32,519
Yo, Fat Thor, I've seen
Vindicators: Crystal War 2.
141
00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:35,322
‐You blaspheme!
‐My buddy Airshot
showed it to me.
142
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:37,290
Ha. I repeat, ha.
143
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,293
As if Glen Tangier,
the Tasmanian Adonis,
144
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:45,198
would deign to interact with
someone of your insignificance.
145
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:47,434
Whoa!
146
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:52,973
You are defeated, Vindicator.
147
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:56,576
Not as long as
I'm still breathing. (blows)
148
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:03,183
Sweet batarang Jesus.
Tell me more.
149
00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:05,485
Uhp‐uhp‐uhp‐uhp‐uhp.
The first taste was free,
150
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,821
the next is gonna cost you.
151
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:12,058
I've had my eye on that
Dr. 3 A. M. graphic novel.
152
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,496
Okay, strap yourself in.
The way it goes down is...
153
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:18,732
But pause.
The knowledge you offer
154
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:22,569
would spoil the movie event
of the year. Nay, century.
155
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:25,205
Nay, epoch. Nay, summer.
156
00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:26,740
Tell me nothing.
157
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:29,476
Ah,
but my curiosity consumes me.
158
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:32,545
All right, here's the deal,
the movie starts on the logo...
159
00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:34,547
Silence! Speak!
160
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:37,817
Speak not. Expound!
161
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,788
I pass the test.
I will diminish
162
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,190
and remain Comic Book Guy.
163
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,194
Mmm. Ooh, shrimp.
164
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:52,932
Hey. What would you give me
not to find out what happens?
165
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:54,601
(slurps)
166
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,970
Be gone, Spoiler Boy.
167
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,039
Hm, Spoiler Boy.
168
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,840
(laughs)
I like that.
169
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:04,511
♪ ♪
170
00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:06,146
(gasps) That's the kid who saw
171
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:09,015
Vindicators: Crystal War 2:Resurgence.
172
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,918
Do what he says
or he'll spoil the ending.
173
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,854
I must protect my virgin ears.
174
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:17,524
‐(toilet flushing)
‐(gurgling)
175
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:23,530
I think you can do better
than that.
176
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:25,799
Four chicken lumpettes
per person.
177
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:28,034
Even if that person knows
which Vindicator
178
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:31,971
loses a third of their powers
fighting Karate Scorpion?
179
00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:34,541
Zip it. My boyfriend's taking me
to see that movie
180
00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:36,609
when it gets to
the two‐dollar theater.
181
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,180
♪ ♪
182
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,984
Simpson, you're getting
one day of detention
183
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:48,988
for every extra
lumpette you eat.
184
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:51,524
Mmm.
185
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,026
Detention, is it?
186
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,595
I guess we'll have
plenty of time to discuss
187
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:58,965
the fate of your favorite
Vindicator, Black Voodoo.
188
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,000
(gasps) The champion
of the French Quarter.
189
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,802
You wouldn't dare spoil
the only thing
190
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,471
that brings me joy
in this world.
191
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:05,772
Give me your toupee.
192
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,874
(laughs) Toupee?
193
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,110
I don't wear a toupee.
194
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,212
We fade in on Bourbon Street...
195
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,346
(gasps softly)
196
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,116
(singing nonsense)
197
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:17,383
Ooh! (stammers, laughs)
198
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:21,421
Principal Skinner. T‐To what
do we owe the honor, sir, at‐‐
199
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,189
Oh, it's just you.
200
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,859
Hey, how'd you get
all this stuff?
201
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,560
'Cause people do whatever I say
202
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,662
or I spoil the Vindicators movie
for them.
203
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:31,097
Like so:
204
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,733
tell Mom it's okay for me
to have soda on my cereal.
205
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,102
I don't know.
Mom's not gonna go for that.
206
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:39,105
Okay. Get ready to hear
the surprise ending.
207
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:41,407
Let me guess.
The good guys win.
208
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,176
(gasps) Who told you?
209
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,512
You can't spoil
that movie for me,
210
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:48,248
because I don't care
what happens.
211
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,116
You see, as a grown‐up,
212
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:53,920
I know that muscle jerks
in tights with magic powers
213
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:57,824
punching and hugging each other
is boring BS for babies.
214
00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,760
So go ahead,
tell me what Captain Doodad does
215
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,061
to Zippity Whoever.
216
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:04,030
Because it means nothing.
217
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:08,034
(gasps)
My powers don't work on you.
218
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:11,404
But what if I could make them
work for you?
219
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:15,408
Hmm. Your sinister tone
intrigues me.
220
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:18,511
All‐you‐can‐drink beers on me!
221
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:19,879
OTHERS:
Yeah!
222
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:21,581
But paid for by Moe.
223
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:25,285
All right, I'm not even gonna
dignify that with a "Whaaa?"
224
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,086
(zips)
225
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:28,821
Do the thing, boy.
226
00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:30,323
No, no, don't ruin it, kid!
227
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,125
I'm taking my girlfriend
to that movie
228
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,060
when it gets
to the two‐dollar theater.
229
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,862
‐(Bart chuckling)
‐(zips)
230
00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:41,935
(Homer groaning)
231
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:43,970
What time did you get home
last night?
232
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,272
Ugh, it's not my fault.
233
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:47,907
Bart used his superpower
234
00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:50,944
to get me drunker
than I've ever beer.
235
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:53,580
(groans) I'm worried that
all this blackmail
236
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,682
is turning Bart
into a bad person.
237
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,750
(groans)
238
00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:00,053
(zips)
239
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,087
(yawns)
240
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,056
What's the story,
morning glories?
241
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:06,759
Young man, I don't like the way
you're using those spoilies
242
00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:08,628
to boss people around.
243
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:11,097
What?
244
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,298
I was given an amazing power,
245
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,900
so I'm using it.
246
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,970
If you were in my suitcase,
you would do the same thing.
247
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:21,641
Fans have a deep connection to
the Marble Cinematic Universe.
248
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:25,178
I would never exploit that,
not for anything.
249
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:28,281
Oh... wouldn't you?
250
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:31,351
("True" by Spandau Ballet
playing)
251
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,854
♪ ♪
252
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:38,024
(American accent): Lisa Simpson,
I think your superpower
253
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,659
must be stealing hearts.
254
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:42,528
OTHERS:
Aw...
255
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,064
How do you feel
about exploitation now?
256
00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:48,534
(giggling): It's okay.
257
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,237
(regular accent): How much
longer do I have to keep up
258
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,006
this kookaburra charade?
259
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,675
How badly do you not want
your bosses at Marble Studios
260
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:59,212
to know that I used your drunken
thumb to see that movie?
261
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:04,851
You think I'm your jolly
swagman, do you?
262
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:06,819
Well, my jumbuck's gonna be free
263
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:08,788
from your tucker bag
next Thursday,
264
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:12,358
when that movie goes wide
on every screen in creation.
265
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:15,862
And after that, you're nothing.
266
00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:18,865
Let's get this party finished!
267
00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:21,367
(dance music playing)
268
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,169
He's right.
269
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,570
I'm running out of time.
270
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,973
This is... endgame!
271
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:30,476
And so, today, we celebrate
the 200th birthday
272
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:33,379
of our beloved oak tree,
Old Susie.
273
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:36,683
Her stately branches
have shaded our town's weddings,
274
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:41,254
family reunions,
and quincen‐‐ quincien‐‐
275
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:44,023
uh, Mexican bar mitzvahs.
276
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,425
We're, uh, ow!
277
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:46,426
(chuckling)
278
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,696
Cover you ears!
It's Spoiler Boy!
279
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,030
That's right. It's me.
280
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:53,199
And if you don't want
the movie spoiled,
281
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,301
you'll all pull together
and build me
282
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:58,404
the ultimate tree house
of my own design.
283
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,840
Right here in Old Susie.
284
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:01,974
(all gasp)
285
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,243
Not in Old Susie!
286
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,679
Everyone in this town
loves that tree!
287
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,881
We have no choice.
288
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:12,051
He's got us all
by the short and curlies.
289
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:17,090
Unless the boy should meet
with an unfortunate accident.
290
00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:20,693
Oh. And if anything suspicious
should happen to me,
291
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,963
I've hired the loudest man
in town to yell the ending
292
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,232
on every street corner.
293
00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:28,067
I'm on it!
294
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:30,803
You have 24 hours
to build my tree house.
295
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,372
The clock is ticking.
296
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:33,840
(laughs evilly)
297
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:37,076
(gasps)
298
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:38,077
(humming)
299
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:39,645
Hey, buddy.
300
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,880
You're out of the hospital.
301
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:42,949
Don't you "Hey, buddy" me.
302
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:45,084
You stole my visit
from Airshot.
303
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:47,120
You‐‐ you villain!
304
00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:49,922
Me, a villain?
No way.
305
00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:51,758
You just blackmailed
the whole town
306
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,092
to build you a lair.
307
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:55,361
Okay. I will grant you
the optics on the lair
308
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:56,929
are less than ideal.
309
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:59,599
You have actual powers
which you use for evil.
310
00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:02,068
You're a supervillain!
311
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:05,071
You dare call me a supervillain?
312
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,539
Then get a load of this:
313
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:09,776
the biggest spoiler
in the whole movie!
314
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,911
BOTH:
Magnesium Man!
315
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:12,945
Don't say another word!
316
00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:15,548
The fate of our universe
depends on it.
317
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:18,551
(Bart screams)
318
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,490
(Bart groans)
319
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:25,625
(yelps)
320
00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:27,326
Where the hell am I?
321
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:29,162
Relax there, Spoiler Boy.
322
00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:31,597
All we did was take you
from your dimension into ours.
323
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,666
You know, the Marble universe?
324
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:37,103
What you consider to be movies
make up our reality.
325
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:40,006
No way. Superheroes aren't real.
326
00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:42,008
How dumb do you think I am?
327
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:45,144
(gasps)
Actual superpowers!
328
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:47,346
Everything you see
in your Vindicator movies
329
00:15:47,413 --> 00:15:48,948
actually happens to us.
330
00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:51,851
Even the post‐credit sequences?
331
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:53,886
‐Mm.
‐We brought you here
332
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:57,323
to see the result
of your selfish actions.
333
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,927
Whoa! Airshot! Dead?
334
00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:02,428
But in the movie he lives.
335
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,130
Wh‐what happened?
336
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,465
You happened!
337
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,467
You son of a swamp witch!
338
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:11,804
You showed your Comic Book Guy
a spoiler
339
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:15,041
of Airshot using his breath
to save himself.
340
00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:17,043
The powers of evil
in our dimension
341
00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:21,280
saw this and, so warned,
taped Airshot's mouth shut.
342
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:22,482
And killed him.
343
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:25,051
(whimpers)
I didn't know!
344
00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:27,553
I never dreamed that spoilers
really hurt people.
345
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:31,691
But they do.
Spoilers kill!
346
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:34,894
I love you, Airshot! (sobbing)
347
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:36,929
The virtual reality's working.
348
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:40,199
The kid has no idea
that this has all been fake.
349
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,068
I can't believe he didn't notice
350
00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:44,036
that the dimensional portal
in his backyard
351
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:47,373
was just a garbage bag
full of glow sticks.
352
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,242
Tell me we're doing
the right thing.
353
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,277
Tell me this is
Bart's best chance
354
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,112
to choose to be a good person.
355
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,881
Don't worry, Marge.
356
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:57,884
No one's ever been hurt
by a little gaslighting.
357
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,219
Remember how
you always say that?
358
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:02,021
Remember?
359
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:03,155
Mm‐hmm.
360
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:04,991
Oh, don't think of it
as gaslighting.
361
00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:06,993
Think of it as
an ultra‐enhanced,
362
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:08,728
immersive fan experience.
363
00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:12,098
All this, just to keep
spoilers from leaking.
364
00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:15,334
Vindicators, colon,Crystal War, colon, Resurgence
365
00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:16,769
bombing at the box office
366
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,905
would have devastating
consequences.
367
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:22,041
Failing theme parks,
unsold Halloween costumes
368
00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:23,175
rotting on the docks,
369
00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:25,545
mass suicides
by popcorn farmers;
370
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:28,681
anything worse than a 55% hold
371
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,182
on its second weekend,
372
00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:33,419
the global economy
collapses like a house of cards.
373
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,922
Is that what you want,
little girl? Is it?
374
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:37,456
(quietly):
No. No.
375
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:39,392
Bart clearly feels bad.
376
00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:41,160
Can't we let him out now?
377
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,996
No. We have to be
absolutely sure.
378
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,799
Increasing simulation intensity.
379
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:52,672
Bring me the boy.
380
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:53,973
(warriors snarling)
381
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,010
Ahh!
382
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,079
Remember, kid, no spoilers!
383
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:01,681
Our universe depends on it!
384
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:05,585
And don't pirate movies.
That hurts everyone.
385
00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:10,923
So, the boy who's seen
how all this ends.
386
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,425
Tell me what you know,
387
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:14,994
so I can use it
to destroy the Vindicators.
388
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:18,164
In return, I will grant
your deepest desire:
389
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:20,933
actual superpowers.
390
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,902
BART:
Muscles...
391
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:24,303
claws...
392
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:25,738
bike!
393
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,073
Real powers.
394
00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:29,842
That's even better
than spoiler powers.
395
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:31,744
(chuckling)
396
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,413
Oh, no. Our son is going
to choose evil.
397
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:38,951
Oh, no! Our son is so stupid
he's going to fall for this!
398
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,053
It doesn't matter
that's it not real.
399
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,389
Bart's soul is at stake.
400
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:47,793
Great emotion.
Talk about upping the ante.
401
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,695
Tell me the spoilers, child.
402
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:52,398
And embrace your destiny
as a villain.
403
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,666
Hmm.
404
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:55,067
Airshot.
405
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,869
All right.
406
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,471
I'll tell you
what you have to do to win.
407
00:18:58,537 --> 00:18:59,672
‐No!
‐Uh‐uh, kid.
408
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,874
Eat my shorts.
409
00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:04,910
(grunts)
410
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:07,146
No. No.
411
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:09,215
‐No...!
‐(screams)
412
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:19,725
Our son's a good guy!
A good guy.
413
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:23,729
But he's still stupid.
So stupid...
414
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,898
The kid turned down
actual superpowers.
415
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:28,234
I think he'll
keep his mouth shut.
416
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:30,136
Okay. We'll let him live.
417
00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:31,704
‐(humming triumphantly)
‐For now.
418
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:35,875
(groans)
419
00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:37,510
Uh‐‐ I'm back.
420
00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:40,079
I just hope it's not too late.
421
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,681
What day is it?
422
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:45,051
Why, it's the Wednesday
before Memorial Day, it is.
423
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:46,085
Then there's still time.
424
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:47,887
The movie hasn't been spoiled.
425
00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:48,954
Don't worry, son.
426
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,357
Your secret I forgot
is safe with me.
427
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:54,694
I saved their universe.
I'm not a villain.
428
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,563
I'm a superhero.
429
00:19:57,630 --> 00:20:00,766
‐When can we tell him?
‐Never.
430
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,268
All right.
No one's gonna talk.
431
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:03,269
The movie's safe.
432
00:20:03,335 --> 00:20:06,739
We'll let them live.
For now.
433
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,808
(minor key "When You Wish
Upon a Star" plays)
434
00:20:23,137 --> 00:20:25,491
I'm not a bad guy.
I'm a good guy.
435
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,961
I'll never spoil anything again.
436
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:31,697
I'm a changed boy.
A changed boy.
437
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,133
I always knew you had
the stuff of heroes.
438
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,302
Just tell me, does Moby Man
take his place
439
00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:39,705
as the rightful sovereign
of Fishtonia?
440
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:42,141
Does he? Bart!
Tell me!
441
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:43,976
Stop your labors, good folk.
442
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:48,047
Magnesium Man bless us,
every one.
443
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:51,117
NARRATOR:And Bart was as goodas his word.
444
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:53,119
He kept his mouth shut.
445
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:56,222
So when everyone finallysaw the movie on opening day,
446
00:20:56,288 --> 00:20:58,557
they were filled with joy.
447
00:20:58,624 --> 00:21:00,860
Then immediatelygot on their phones
448
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:04,029
and spoiled itfor everyone else.
449
00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:46,105
Shh!
32359
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