Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,121 --> 00:00:03,656
Oh, hey, Adam.
2
00:00:03,859 --> 00:00:05,401
- How's it going? Jonah.
- Hey!
3
00:00:05,580 --> 00:00:06,930
What's go... Bring it in.
4
00:00:06,931 --> 00:00:08,072
Okay, watch the tin.
5
00:00:08,073 --> 00:00:09,620
Oh, I didn't mean to...
6
00:00:09,621 --> 00:00:11,489
I stumbled on the ladder
and I fell into your hair.
7
00:00:11,523 --> 00:00:12,724
- I wasn't trying to kiss you.
- Oh, yeah.
8
00:00:12,791 --> 00:00:14,525
- I didn't think it was a kiss.
- Cool.
9
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,327
Yeah. I'm here to pick up Amy.
10
00:00:16,362 --> 00:00:18,696
All right. Husband picking up the wife.
11
00:00:18,731 --> 00:00:21,499
[Laughs] Classic.
12
00:00:21,533 --> 00:00:23,916
Uh, how's your, uh,
barbecue business going?
13
00:00:23,917 --> 00:00:25,384
Oh, it didn't work out.
14
00:00:25,418 --> 00:00:27,519
- Oh. I'm sorry, buddy.
- Yeah.
15
00:00:27,554 --> 00:00:30,856
Hey, you know, uh,
we... we might still be looking
16
00:00:30,890 --> 00:00:32,257
for some seasonal help if you're...
17
00:00:32,292 --> 00:00:33,959
you're looking for a gig, you know?
18
00:00:34,027 --> 00:00:36,762
Wow. Yeah. That's not a bad idea.
19
00:00:36,796 --> 00:00:38,197
What's not a bad idea?
20
00:00:38,231 --> 00:00:39,531
Uh, working here.
21
00:00:39,566 --> 00:00:41,767
Jonah says you're hiring.
22
00:00:41,801 --> 00:00:44,436
Oh, um...
23
00:00:44,486 --> 00:00:46,768
- That is not a bad idea.
- Mm-hmm.
24
00:00:46,769 --> 00:00:48,903
But I think we're all full up.
25
00:00:50,105 --> 00:00:52,040
Yeah. Yep.
26
00:00:52,074 --> 00:00:53,908
- Yes, we are all full.
- Yeah...
27
00:00:53,943 --> 00:00:55,743
Uh, but you just said... Full of what?
28
00:00:55,778 --> 00:00:57,712
- Seasonal help.
- But we're not hiring.
29
00:00:57,746 --> 00:00:58,478
- Hey, Glenn?
- Hmm?
30
00:00:58,479 --> 00:01:00,612
- We hiring seasonals?
- No, we're all full.
31
00:01:00,647 --> 00:01:02,482
God, I'm so pissed, Glenn.
32
00:01:02,516 --> 00:01:03,683
I mean, I've been here so long
33
00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:05,585
and you can't even make
an exception for me?
34
00:01:05,619 --> 00:01:07,787
I can't. I'm... I'm sorry.
35
00:01:07,821 --> 00:01:08,788
Come on, Glenn!
36
00:01:08,822 --> 00:01:10,523
- No exceptions.
- Oh, it's okay.
37
00:01:10,591 --> 00:01:12,258
It's just the way they do things here.
38
00:01:12,292 --> 00:01:15,428
No, no, you're right.
I should make an exception.
39
00:01:15,462 --> 00:01:17,196
Yeah, but you're all full up and that...
40
00:01:17,264 --> 00:01:18,598
- Welcome aboard.
- Thank you.
41
00:01:18,632 --> 00:01:19,632
Glad to have you.
42
00:01:19,666 --> 00:01:21,173
Amy, you owe me one.
43
00:01:22,603 --> 00:01:24,604
Awesome! This'll be fun!
44
00:01:24,638 --> 00:01:27,469
- Ultra cool!
- I'm so excited about this.
45
00:01:27,569 --> 00:01:28,487
[Upbeat Music]
46
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:31,767
- Synced and corrected by hawken45 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
47
00:01:32,439 --> 00:01:34,107
It has always been the manager's spot.
48
00:01:34,141 --> 00:01:35,375
I want you to stop parking in it.
49
00:01:35,409 --> 00:01:36,643
There is no such thing
as the manager's spot...
50
00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:38,578
- [Coughing]
- There is.
51
00:01:38,612 --> 00:01:42,048
The manager's spot is the one
that says "The Manager."
52
00:01:42,082 --> 00:01:43,216
- Are you done?
- [Coughs]
53
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:44,550
Excuse me. All right, thank you.
54
00:01:44,585 --> 00:01:47,387
I'm just trying to get away
from that guy's boner.
55
00:01:47,421 --> 00:01:50,256
Okay, everyone. Good morning!
56
00:01:50,291 --> 00:01:53,419
Let's settle down. Um, 'tis the season.
57
00:01:53,420 --> 00:01:56,022
And I'd like to give a permanent welcome
58
00:01:56,091 --> 00:01:59,793
to all our new temporary workers
in the light blue vests.
59
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:02,296
Now, I haven't put all the
faces to the names yet,
60
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:04,856
but I do know that you are Reggie
61
00:02:04,857 --> 00:02:07,359
and... and we now have a Black Todd.
62
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:08,860
Nope, you'll just be Todd.
63
00:02:08,895 --> 00:02:10,862
Uh, you'll be White Todd? Thank you.
64
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:14,633
And, uh, oh, and this
sweetheart here is Opal,
65
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,568
who, at 90 years old, I think is
66
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,704
the oldest employee we've ever had.
67
00:02:18,745 --> 00:02:21,364
[Applause]
68
00:02:21,365 --> 00:02:24,334
Oh, and lastly, let's give
a big Cloud 9 welcome
69
00:02:24,368 --> 00:02:27,604
to Amy's better half, Adam Dubanowski.
70
00:02:27,671 --> 00:02:29,506
[Applause]
71
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:30,840
Yeah?
72
00:02:30,875 --> 00:02:32,609
No, babe, nobody else gave a speech.
73
00:02:32,676 --> 00:02:34,544
No, it's cool, babe. It's cool.
74
00:02:34,578 --> 00:02:36,846
Um, I just wanted to tell
you all not to treat me
75
00:02:36,881 --> 00:02:39,382
any differently just 'cause
I'm sleeping with the boss.
76
00:02:39,417 --> 00:02:41,551
[Laughter]
77
00:02:41,585 --> 00:02:43,678
He means Amy, not me. I'm not gay.
78
00:02:45,053 --> 00:02:47,112
Anyway, if you have
any questions about Amy,
79
00:02:47,113 --> 00:02:47,922
come see me.
80
00:02:47,956 --> 00:02:48,956
I've got all the dirt.
81
00:02:49,024 --> 00:02:50,224
- [Laughter]
- Seriously?
82
00:02:50,259 --> 00:02:52,226
Oh, right. Sorry, Bean.
83
00:02:52,261 --> 00:02:54,128
All right, uh, moving on.
Tornado safety...
84
00:02:54,196 --> 00:02:55,429
Whoa, whoa, whoa, not moving on.
85
00:02:55,464 --> 00:02:57,231
I want to know why
you just called her Bean.
86
00:02:57,266 --> 00:02:58,599
No, it's nothing.
87
00:02:58,634 --> 00:03:00,825
Is it because you like to eat beans?
88
00:03:00,987 --> 00:03:02,387
Is it because you fart a lot?
89
00:03:02,388 --> 00:03:04,055
Like this gentleman sitting next to me?
90
00:03:04,056 --> 00:03:06,190
It's 'cause I'm small, okay?
91
00:03:06,191 --> 00:03:08,003
When we first got together,
it was so cute,
92
00:03:08,003 --> 00:03:08,991
the way she'd sleep.
93
00:03:08,992 --> 00:03:10,624
Just like my little naked bean.
94
00:03:10,659 --> 00:03:11,625
[Laughter]
95
00:03:11,660 --> 00:03:12,760
Stop. Please, can you stop?
96
00:03:12,794 --> 00:03:13,794
They like it.
97
00:03:13,829 --> 00:03:15,596
Okay, well, any more questions?
98
00:03:19,167 --> 00:03:21,802
♪ He knows if you've been bad or good ♪
99
00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:25,039
♪ So be good for goodness' sake ♪
100
00:03:25,106 --> 00:03:27,007
♪ You better watch out ♪
101
00:03:30,246 --> 00:03:32,848
Oh, don't worry.
I'll clean that up for you.
102
00:03:33,135 --> 00:03:34,836
Ugh, what is the point of these people?
103
00:03:34,904 --> 00:03:37,005
They're so bad, they make
Jonah look competent.
104
00:03:37,073 --> 00:03:38,174
I know.
105
00:03:38,241 --> 00:03:39,453
This is the grimmest year ever.
106
00:03:39,454 --> 00:03:40,655
I got a buck that says Pornstache
107
00:03:40,690 --> 00:03:42,357
is gone before lunch.
108
00:03:42,425 --> 00:03:44,292
No way, my money's on Ladybutt.
109
00:03:44,327 --> 00:03:45,460
You want in on this action?
110
00:03:45,495 --> 00:03:47,462
Uh, nope, I will not be betting
111
00:03:47,497 --> 00:03:49,431
on people losing their jobs.
112
00:03:49,465 --> 00:03:50,799
Quitting their jobs.
And they're not people.
113
00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:52,100
- They're temps.
- Come on.
114
00:03:52,135 --> 00:03:53,802
I mean, we always lose a
few on the first day.
115
00:03:53,836 --> 00:03:55,871
It's good, clean fun,
like the Myrtle death pool.
116
00:03:55,938 --> 00:03:57,639
That thing's been going on for 20 years.
117
00:03:57,673 --> 00:03:59,674
Yeah, I... [Sighs]
118
00:03:59,709 --> 00:04:01,643
[Groans] I shouldn't gamble.
119
00:04:01,677 --> 00:04:03,575
I used to get a little carried away.
120
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,408
[With British Accent] Oh, I'm Jonah.
121
00:04:05,443 --> 00:04:07,177
I'm too proper to gamble.
122
00:04:07,211 --> 00:04:09,045
- Where's me monocle?
- Mm-kay.
123
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:10,380
[With Russian Accent] Oh, Hi, I'm Jonah.
124
00:04:10,414 --> 00:04:12,215
I eat macadamia nuts out of jar
125
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:14,117
inside of other jar.
126
00:04:14,185 --> 00:04:15,585
[With Normal Voice] [Laughs] Right?
127
00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:17,601
No, what? No, not "right."
What was that?
128
00:04:17,601 --> 00:04:19,435
Okay, all right,
I'll take the... the one
129
00:04:19,475 --> 00:04:21,576
with the dermatological...
130
00:04:21,604 --> 00:04:22,311
Rashface?
131
00:04:22,312 --> 00:04:24,478
Rashface. I'll take
one buck on Rashface.
132
00:04:24,513 --> 00:04:27,016
[With Russian Accent]
Da! One ruble from fur hat
133
00:04:27,032 --> 00:04:28,884
for glory of Soviet Union!
134
00:04:28,980 --> 00:04:30,548
What are you doing? He's not Russian.
135
00:04:30,552 --> 00:04:33,437
[With Normal Voice]
Yeah, well, he's not British either.
136
00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:37,792
Would you mind helping out?
137
00:04:39,528 --> 00:04:42,530
Just finishing this chapter.
138
00:04:45,701 --> 00:04:49,136
Sorry, she just...
she loves that book, so...
139
00:04:50,922 --> 00:04:52,356
- Hey.
- Hi.
140
00:04:52,507 --> 00:04:54,842
Can you maybe not tell
any more personal things
141
00:04:54,876 --> 00:04:56,510
about me to my coworkers?
142
00:04:56,545 --> 00:04:59,065
It just kind of makes it hard
for me to be the boss.
143
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:01,267
Yeah, sure. No problem.
144
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,269
- Okay, thank you. Thanks.
- Okay. You're welcome.
145
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,937
I really appreciate it.
146
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:15,314
Hey, Adam, why don't you
maybe move these boxes closer...
147
00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:18,317
- Please don't criticize me.
- What? I'm not criticizing you.
148
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:19,718
- It sounds like criti...
- What are you talking about?
149
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,387
You can't just say that...
Telling me what to do.
150
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,721
Every time I open my mouth...
151
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,456
You're taking advantage
of me as an underling.
152
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,658
[Sighs]
153
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,660
This is the first year that we're having
154
00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:29,685
an in-store Santa, so I am taking
155
00:05:29,686 --> 00:05:32,587
the selection process very seriously.
156
00:05:32,656 --> 00:05:34,824
Well, I've had a lot of experience.
157
00:05:34,858 --> 00:05:36,592
- Good.
- I've Claused a number
158
00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:38,094
- of department stores.
- Okay.
159
00:05:38,161 --> 00:05:41,530
And I-I was trained by Wayne Gunderson.
160
00:05:41,565 --> 00:05:43,432
- Way...
- Uh, he's a Santa Claus
161
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,000
at the Chicago Macy's.
162
00:05:45,035 --> 00:05:46,102
Oh, wow!
163
00:05:46,169 --> 00:05:47,570
He's a legend.
164
00:05:47,604 --> 00:05:50,039
You sound really qualified.
165
00:05:50,073 --> 00:05:51,874
Well... [Laughs]
166
00:05:51,908 --> 00:05:53,743
[Laughs] Is that it? Is that the laugh?
167
00:05:53,777 --> 00:05:56,779
- That's it, yeah.
- [Both Laughing]
168
00:05:56,847 --> 00:05:58,848
Oh, my God. Oh, wow.
169
00:05:58,882 --> 00:06:00,950
Well, so I have the job?
170
00:06:01,017 --> 00:06:04,186
Well, not yet, my fat red friend.
171
00:06:04,221 --> 00:06:06,589
[Both Chuckling Softly]
172
00:06:06,623 --> 00:06:10,559
♪ Good tidings we bring
to you and your kin ♪
173
00:06:10,594 --> 00:06:13,375
♪ Good tidings for Christmas ♪
174
00:06:13,376 --> 00:06:15,043
'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, Mr. Jonah.
175
00:06:15,077 --> 00:06:16,711
- Hey.
- Looks like you won.
176
00:06:16,746 --> 00:06:19,047
- What?
- Your buddy Rashface?
177
00:06:19,081 --> 00:06:20,682
He found a used condom
in the dressing room
178
00:06:20,716 --> 00:06:22,135
and just walked out the store.
179
00:06:22,136 --> 00:06:24,537
- Congratulations.
- Wow, that's great. That's...
180
00:06:24,604 --> 00:06:26,472
I mean, that's really... that's too bad
181
00:06:26,506 --> 00:06:28,841
about his job, but, uh,
I had a feeling about that guy.
182
00:06:28,875 --> 00:06:31,377
You know, just...
just, like, a really...
183
00:06:31,444 --> 00:06:33,145
a really good feeling.
184
00:06:33,180 --> 00:06:34,900
Okay, well, enjoy that two bucks.
185
00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:37,701
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna. [Laughs]
186
00:06:37,735 --> 00:06:38,768
Hey, uh, you know what?
187
00:06:38,836 --> 00:06:40,003
We should... we should do another round.
188
00:06:40,037 --> 00:06:41,538
- What do you say?
- Okay, sure.
189
00:06:41,572 --> 00:06:43,006
Yeah, yeah, just, like, uh...
190
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,040
just get some more people involved,
191
00:06:44,074 --> 00:06:45,275
you know, raise the stakes.
192
00:06:45,342 --> 00:06:48,344
Oh! Oh, hey! Uh, we should do a pool.
193
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,080
I won.
194
00:06:51,115 --> 00:06:52,582
Congratulations.
195
00:06:52,616 --> 00:06:55,285
Out of over a dozen applicants,
196
00:06:55,352 --> 00:06:57,720
you're the super six who made it past
197
00:06:57,755 --> 00:07:00,290
the grueling yet simple
Megan's Law search.
198
00:07:00,364 --> 00:07:02,417
- So let's get...
- [Cell Phone Chimes]
199
00:07:02,460 --> 00:07:04,577
Oops, sorry. Excuse me. One sec.
200
00:07:06,141 --> 00:07:09,543
Richard, I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave.
201
00:07:14,453 --> 00:07:15,968
Look, why don't you just try
202
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,396
to move the boxes closer to the shelf
203
00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:18,796
and see if that doesn't make it easier?
204
00:07:18,831 --> 00:07:20,598
You mean do it your way.
205
00:07:20,632 --> 00:07:23,134
No, I mean do it the way
literally anybody
206
00:07:23,168 --> 00:07:24,602
older than 12 would do this.
207
00:07:24,636 --> 00:07:25,837
Is this about the dishes?
208
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,079
This has nothing to do with the dishes.
209
00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:31,015
- I was letting them soak, I...
- You can't soak cast iron!
210
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:34,189
Well, stop buying pans
that I can't get wet!
211
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:38,323
Uh, it's a...
it's a professional dispute.
212
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:40,325
Bean to customer service.
213
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,728
Bean, you are wanted
in customer service...
214
00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:44,656
preferably with your clothes on.
215
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,866
Thank you for that.
216
00:07:48,949 --> 00:07:51,162
Ignore me. Just doing some research.
217
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:55,863
Okay, smiling.
You're not going anywhere.
218
00:07:55,898 --> 00:07:56,899
Excuse me, sir?
219
00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:58,100
Uh, just out of curiosity,
220
00:07:58,134 --> 00:08:00,936
how long were you at your previous job?
221
00:08:00,970 --> 00:08:02,577
- Uh, 25 years.
- Oh.
222
00:08:02,577 --> 00:08:04,911
You know, it's an interesting
story, actually.
223
00:08:04,946 --> 00:08:06,746
My father started out
as a baker, so I...
224
00:08:06,781 --> 00:08:09,082
- It is interesting.
- Oh, my God.
225
00:08:09,116 --> 00:08:13,053
Are you kidding me?
Are you out of your mind?
226
00:08:13,087 --> 00:08:16,456
- Stupid bitch.
- Excuse me, sir?
227
00:08:16,524 --> 00:08:17,436
Yeah, what?
228
00:08:17,437 --> 00:08:18,703
I just couldn't help but notice
229
00:08:18,737 --> 00:08:20,538
you're getting a little
frustrated over here.
230
00:08:20,572 --> 00:08:23,408
Oh, a little? How about
I'm this close to quitting?
231
00:08:23,442 --> 00:08:27,545
Oh, well, we will be
sorry to lose you...
232
00:08:27,579 --> 00:08:28,613
Isaac.
233
00:08:28,681 --> 00:08:31,549
20 bucks on Isaac the Ginger Giant.
234
00:08:31,583 --> 00:08:33,551
Man, this is intense.
235
00:08:33,585 --> 00:08:35,787
I didn't even know we sold
dry erase boards this big.
236
00:08:35,854 --> 00:08:36,888
Bought it at a different store.
237
00:08:36,922 --> 00:08:38,890
- Who's next?
- So we just pick one?
238
00:08:38,924 --> 00:08:41,390
It's a pari-mutuel
betting pool with live odds,
239
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,791
no rake, and I'm open
to exotic bets, okay?
240
00:08:43,859 --> 00:08:47,428
You know, exactas, trifectas,
quadrellas, or "quaddies."
241
00:08:47,463 --> 00:08:49,697
- [Chuckles]
- Or we could all just pick one.
242
00:08:49,732 --> 00:08:51,566
- Oh, yes.
- Pick one, nice.
243
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,202
Fine, so whoever's temp
quits first takes the pot?
244
00:08:54,236 --> 00:08:55,570
Okay, cool. I mean, I...
245
00:08:55,604 --> 00:08:57,105
I worked out all the odds,
I guess, for nothing.
246
00:08:57,139 --> 00:08:59,107
But I had fun doing it, so good times.
247
00:08:59,141 --> 00:09:00,141
Who's next?
248
00:09:00,142 --> 00:09:01,809
Hey, Glenn. Excuse me.
249
00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:03,553
Um, do you have a sec to talk?
250
00:09:03,554 --> 00:09:04,854
Oh, yeah, sure.
251
00:09:04,888 --> 00:09:06,389
Now's a good time.
252
00:09:06,456 --> 00:09:07,673
Um, here?
253
00:09:09,459 --> 00:09:11,294
- You're hurting my leg.
- Okay, look.
254
00:09:11,328 --> 00:09:12,628
You're gonna have to get used to that.
255
00:09:12,663 --> 00:09:14,819
We get a lot of little porkers up here.
256
00:09:15,735 --> 00:09:17,068
Yeah, go on.
257
00:09:17,198 --> 00:09:19,299
[Sighs] Well, I was just wondering
258
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:20,834
if there was any way
that we could switch around
259
00:09:20,835 --> 00:09:23,103
Adam's schedule just so that
we're not on the same shifts.
260
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,805
You know, just 'cause I feel like it...
261
00:09:24,806 --> 00:09:26,107
Okay. Say no more.
262
00:09:26,577 --> 00:09:27,995
I totally get it, okay?
263
00:09:27,996 --> 00:09:30,892
I-I was actually surprised
you wanted him to work here,
264
00:09:30,892 --> 00:09:32,893
seeing how things are
with your marriage.
265
00:09:32,927 --> 00:09:34,228
How things are with my marriage?
266
00:09:34,262 --> 00:09:36,263
- How things are with your...
- What does that mean?
267
00:09:36,297 --> 00:09:37,898
[Stammering] Not that things are bad.
268
00:09:37,932 --> 00:09:40,567
You know, just that you've been
married a long time,
269
00:09:40,602 --> 00:09:43,937
- so maybe the spark is gone, or...
- What?
270
00:09:43,972 --> 00:09:45,372
No, no, I mean
maybe you hit a rough patch.
271
00:09:45,407 --> 00:09:46,974
Okay, no, no, Glenn. That's worse.
272
00:09:47,042 --> 00:09:49,001
Okay, um, you know what?
Don't listen to me.
273
00:09:49,001 --> 00:09:50,535
I don't know what I'm
talking about, you know.
274
00:09:50,602 --> 00:09:53,371
But I do know I got to
get back to sitting.
275
00:09:54,339 --> 00:09:56,340
Um... okay.
276
00:09:56,375 --> 00:09:58,676
- Well, thank you.
- Yeah.
277
00:10:04,049 --> 00:10:06,717
Well, you were absolutely no help there.
278
00:10:06,785 --> 00:10:08,186
- [All Talking At Once]
- Amy's husband.
279
00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:11,656
- Who else?
- I got $20 on the old bitch.
280
00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,157
I got her listed as "Old Lady,"
281
00:10:13,192 --> 00:10:14,692
but I got you, Myrtle.
282
00:10:14,726 --> 00:10:16,661
- Who else is left?
- Uh, let's see.
283
00:10:16,687 --> 00:10:19,322
We have Unibrow, Unibrow 2,
284
00:10:19,364 --> 00:10:21,968
Short Guy Tall Hair, and Booklady.
285
00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:22,935
Oh, I'll take Booklady.
286
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:25,600
No, I wanted her. I hate her.
287
00:10:25,601 --> 00:10:27,306
I hate her too. Splitsies.
288
00:10:27,374 --> 00:10:28,808
- Yes.
- All right!
289
00:10:28,876 --> 00:10:31,778
The joy of sport,
bringing people together.
290
00:10:32,207 --> 00:10:34,881
Which temp will quit next?
291
00:10:35,949 --> 00:10:39,318
[Water Spilling]
292
00:10:39,386 --> 00:10:43,756
♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪
293
00:10:43,791 --> 00:10:46,259
And that's it next to
a golf ball just for scale.
294
00:10:46,293 --> 00:10:48,761
- Oh.
- That polyp is huge, right?
295
00:10:48,796 --> 00:10:50,329
Glenn said the weirdest thing to me.
296
00:10:50,397 --> 00:10:52,098
Okay, I guess it's Amy time now.
297
00:10:52,132 --> 00:10:53,266
- She does that.
- Yeah.
298
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,101
He was like, "I'm surprised you wanted
299
00:10:55,135 --> 00:10:58,337
Adam to work here, given 'how things are
300
00:10:58,405 --> 00:11:00,273
in your marriage." [Laughs]
301
00:11:02,943 --> 00:11:06,145
- Crazy.
- [Laughs]
302
00:11:06,180 --> 00:11:07,814
- Shh.
- I know.
303
00:11:07,848 --> 00:11:08,915
It's crazy.
304
00:11:11,224 --> 00:11:12,658
- Right?
- [Laughs]
305
00:11:12,692 --> 00:11:15,361
- Shh.
- Ow.
306
00:11:15,395 --> 00:11:16,729
I'm not uncomfortable.
307
00:11:16,796 --> 00:11:19,698
I just keep thinking of funny things.
308
00:11:19,733 --> 00:11:22,635
Anyways, uh, I... I'm gonna go.
309
00:11:22,669 --> 00:11:23,802
[Laughs]
310
00:11:23,837 --> 00:11:26,538
- I'll come too.
- Sorry. [Laughing]
311
00:11:26,573 --> 00:11:29,408
Oh, no. There's no one
to make an announcement.
312
00:11:32,245 --> 00:11:34,213
Why are there all these chairs?
313
00:11:34,247 --> 00:11:36,682
Stupid temps.
314
00:11:39,183 --> 00:11:40,851
Look, the reason
they're all eager to get away
315
00:11:40,885 --> 00:11:42,853
is because they all agree with Glenn.
316
00:11:42,887 --> 00:11:45,489
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
317
00:11:45,523 --> 00:11:47,124
Good girl talk.
318
00:11:50,895 --> 00:11:53,206
♪
319
00:11:53,287 --> 00:11:55,355
I was just opening up
some shampoo boxes,
320
00:11:55,389 --> 00:11:57,390
and I think I extended
my box cutter too much.
321
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:00,260
So it's kind of a mess.
Who do I call to clean that up?
322
00:12:00,294 --> 00:12:02,562
You. You call you.
323
00:12:02,594 --> 00:12:03,481
Okay.
324
00:12:03,482 --> 00:12:05,585
Well, sorry I don't know
how everything works here,
325
00:12:05,586 --> 00:12:07,151
considering I just started, and the...
326
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:10,488
I mean, I-I haven't even been
trained on the box cutter, so...
327
00:12:12,858 --> 00:12:14,225
- What was that for?
- Nothing.
328
00:12:14,293 --> 00:12:15,559
Just felt like kissing you.
329
00:12:15,627 --> 00:12:19,397
Oh, I guess I should
start using this shampoo, huh?
330
00:12:19,464 --> 00:12:21,132
[Both Laugh]
331
00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:24,001
[Laughs Loudly]
332
00:12:24,036 --> 00:12:26,203
- That's... you're so funny.
- [Laughs]
333
00:12:26,238 --> 00:12:27,471
[With Robotic Voice]
I am from the future.
334
00:12:27,506 --> 00:12:29,140
[Laughs Loudly]
335
00:12:29,174 --> 00:12:32,678
I am Shampoo Man. I'm coming to get you.
336
00:12:32,678 --> 00:12:33,711
- I...
- Okay.
337
00:12:33,779 --> 00:12:35,179
I don't get it, but it's great.
338
00:12:35,214 --> 00:12:37,849
It's a shampoo... he's a Shampoo Man.
339
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,183
Love you.
340
00:12:39,218 --> 00:12:41,052
Shampoo Man!
341
00:12:47,492 --> 00:12:50,327
Oh, well, that looks like absolute crap.
342
00:12:50,362 --> 00:12:52,396
- Hey. Hey.
- Yeah?
343
00:12:52,464 --> 00:12:54,365
- How's it going?
- Not good.
344
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:55,633
Listen, so, um,
345
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,234
I'm not supposed to tell you this,
346
00:12:57,302 --> 00:12:58,836
but it's actually after 3:00,
347
00:12:58,870 --> 00:13:02,406
so if you quit now, they got
to pay you for a full day.
348
00:13:02,474 --> 00:13:03,541
- Okay.
- Huh?
349
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,009
Yeah, thanks, but, uh, I need to stop
350
00:13:05,043 --> 00:13:07,028
quitting everything
just because it's hard.
351
00:13:07,029 --> 00:13:08,028
Right, right, right.
352
00:13:08,062 --> 00:13:09,362
But you... you said you were gonna quit,
353
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,398
so now... now is the time.
354
00:13:11,466 --> 00:13:12,966
- Whatever.
- No, no, no, no!
355
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,913
Not whatever. Not whatever!
356
00:13:15,007 --> 00:13:16,236
No, you... you made a promise,
357
00:13:16,304 --> 00:13:19,483
and, uh, I personally would rather
358
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,209
be a quitter than a liar, so...
359
00:13:22,243 --> 00:13:23,643
Maybe I'm just crazy.
360
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:25,245
[Chuckles] Maybe.
361
00:13:29,565 --> 00:13:30,665
Hey.
362
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:31,702
[With British Accent] My name's Jonah.
363
00:13:31,702 --> 00:13:34,838
I couldn't possibly wager
on people quitting their jobs.
364
00:13:34,872 --> 00:13:36,673
Well, you started it, so...
365
00:13:36,707 --> 00:13:38,174
[With Normal Voice] No, what I started
366
00:13:38,209 --> 00:13:39,843
was a simple wager
where no one got hurt.
367
00:13:40,094 --> 00:13:42,062
You were trying to make him quit,
368
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,712
which is so much more awesome.
369
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:45,614
I wish I would have
thought of it sooner.
370
00:13:45,648 --> 00:13:47,683
I wasted a lot of good years.
371
00:13:47,717 --> 00:13:49,551
So the bet's still on?
372
00:13:49,619 --> 00:13:51,220
It's on like Kublai Khan.
373
00:13:51,287 --> 00:13:53,431
You have to be ready for anything
374
00:13:53,431 --> 00:13:57,935
because the questions are gonna
be coming fast and furious.
375
00:13:57,969 --> 00:14:00,504
Like, "How can you deliver presents
376
00:14:00,538 --> 00:14:02,439
to billions of children in one night?"
377
00:14:02,473 --> 00:14:04,508
- Santa One.
- Elves.
378
00:14:04,542 --> 00:14:07,110
Elves? No. Elves make the presents.
379
00:14:07,145 --> 00:14:09,947
- By Christmas, their job's done.
- Whoo! Whoo!
380
00:14:09,981 --> 00:14:12,015
Hi, Glenn! He's a horse!
381
00:14:12,050 --> 00:14:14,885
- I'm a horse!
- Go! Go!
382
00:14:16,797 --> 00:14:20,633
Okay, uh, let's talk about
dealing with the Jewish kids.
383
00:14:20,667 --> 00:14:22,075
Hey, man, what you into?
384
00:14:22,075 --> 00:14:23,309
What do you love? What do you hate?
385
00:14:23,344 --> 00:14:24,477
Let's do hate first.
386
00:14:24,512 --> 00:14:27,013
Uh, I hate war.
387
00:14:27,081 --> 00:14:30,584
Ooh, well, that's a bold stance.
388
00:14:30,618 --> 00:14:32,519
How about more like...
how about this place?
389
00:14:32,587 --> 00:14:34,421
What's the worst part
about working here?
390
00:14:34,455 --> 00:14:36,397
I guess not seeing my son all day.
391
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:38,527
That'll work.
392
00:14:38,759 --> 00:14:41,695
[Run-Dmc'S "Christmas In Hollis"]
393
00:14:41,762 --> 00:14:43,196
♪
394
00:14:43,264 --> 00:14:44,361
Mm, hey, white girl.
395
00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:47,530
You looking real good today.
396
00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:49,718
[Blubbers]
397
00:14:49,719 --> 00:14:51,120
I want this whole floor sparkling.
398
00:14:51,189 --> 00:14:52,889
The floor? You mean the ground?
399
00:14:52,924 --> 00:14:53,890
Heck yeah, I do.
400
00:14:53,925 --> 00:14:55,592
Or if you don't like it,
401
00:14:55,626 --> 00:14:57,627
you're also welcome to quit.
402
00:14:57,695 --> 00:15:03,366
♪
403
00:15:03,401 --> 00:15:04,940
You're actually doing it.
404
00:15:06,804 --> 00:15:07,301
Wow.
405
00:15:08,590 --> 00:15:09,991
I just got sexually harassed.
406
00:15:10,059 --> 00:15:12,927
Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.
407
00:15:12,961 --> 00:15:14,937
I really hope you're okay.
408
00:15:16,098 --> 00:15:19,767
- Because you feel great.
- Okay.
409
00:15:19,802 --> 00:15:22,170
♪
410
00:15:22,237 --> 00:15:24,839
[Shoes Squeaking]
411
00:15:25,571 --> 00:15:26,804
Come in, come in, quick.
412
00:15:26,839 --> 00:15:29,474
Oh, oh, I remember this place.
413
00:15:29,508 --> 00:15:31,676
Yeah, remember we used to...
414
00:15:32,411 --> 00:15:33,745
Whoa, whoa.
415
00:15:33,779 --> 00:15:35,947
What's making you so hot
and heavy all of a sudden?
416
00:15:36,015 --> 00:15:37,048
It's not all of a sudden.
417
00:15:37,083 --> 00:15:38,950
You just look really cute in this vest.
418
00:15:42,588 --> 00:15:44,122
- Ow. Ow!
- What?
419
00:15:44,190 --> 00:15:45,590
What's wrong? What's wrong?
What-something's...
420
00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:47,388
- It's stabbing me in the back.
- Okay.
421
00:15:47,426 --> 00:15:48,544
Oh, I think I found it.
422
00:15:48,544 --> 00:15:49,877
You know what?
That's my hand. Let me do it.
423
00:15:49,912 --> 00:15:50,878
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.
424
00:15:50,913 --> 00:15:52,080
Hey, I thought you guys didn't have
425
00:15:52,114 --> 00:15:53,781
a large-format printer.
426
00:15:53,849 --> 00:15:55,883
Yeah, I guess we have
a large-format printer.
427
00:15:55,918 --> 00:15:56,951
- Found it.
- All right.
428
00:15:57,019 --> 00:15:58,186
- Metal thing.
- 'Cause when I need
429
00:15:58,220 --> 00:16:00,054
to print out banners
for my travel agency,
430
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,856
you said you didn't have one, so...
431
00:16:01,890 --> 00:16:03,858
- Who cares?
- I care.
432
00:16:03,892 --> 00:16:05,696
We didn't have banners,
and my business failed.
433
00:16:05,697 --> 00:16:06,929
No, Adam, your business failed
434
00:16:06,997 --> 00:16:08,898
because nobody uses
travel agencies anymore
435
00:16:08,932 --> 00:16:10,702
due to a little thing
called the Internet.
436
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:12,636
Oh, here we go with
the Internet again, huh?
437
00:16:12,670 --> 00:16:13,870
Yeah, because it exists.
438
00:16:13,905 --> 00:16:15,138
Look, do you want to fight
about this printer,
439
00:16:15,173 --> 00:16:16,139
or do you want to have sex?
440
00:16:16,174 --> 00:16:17,541
I mean, I want... yeah, sex.
441
00:16:17,575 --> 00:16:19,343
- Okay, so shut up.
- Okay, yeah.
442
00:16:23,181 --> 00:16:26,383
This next song is very
near and dear to my heart
443
00:16:26,417 --> 00:16:28,885
because it reminds me of my father.
444
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,989
♪ My child arrived just the other day ♪
445
00:16:32,023 --> 00:16:33,824
♪ He came to the world
in the usual way ♪
446
00:16:33,858 --> 00:16:35,455
You should be ashamed of yourself.
447
00:16:35,455 --> 00:16:38,657
You started it. I'm just finishing it.
448
00:16:38,691 --> 00:16:40,359
Oh, I don't know about that.
449
00:16:40,393 --> 00:16:43,362
All it's gonna take
is for this tower to fall over
450
00:16:43,396 --> 00:16:44,897
and my guy's walking out the door.
451
00:16:44,964 --> 00:16:46,231
Looks pretty steady to me.
452
00:16:46,299 --> 00:16:48,534
No, no, that thing is way too narrow.
453
00:16:48,568 --> 00:16:49,594
Come on, baby.
454
00:16:50,469 --> 00:16:52,470
Come on, baby, come on, come on.
455
00:16:52,504 --> 00:16:54,439
Give it to Daddy. Give it to Daddy.
456
00:16:54,473 --> 00:16:57,809
Give Daddy what he wants!
Give it to Daddy!
457
00:16:57,843 --> 00:16:59,177
Give Daddy that sugar.
458
00:16:59,211 --> 00:17:00,678
♪ "When you coming home, Dad?" ♪
459
00:17:00,713 --> 00:17:03,381
Yeah! Yes!
460
00:17:03,449 --> 00:17:07,115
Oh, [Bleep] you,
you [Bleep] [Bleep]hole.
461
00:17:07,853 --> 00:17:08,820
Come on, baby.
462
00:17:08,854 --> 00:17:10,424
I quit, all right?
463
00:17:10,425 --> 00:17:12,193
- Yes! Yes.
- I quit.
464
00:17:12,227 --> 00:17:13,928
Come on, baby, yeah!
465
00:17:13,962 --> 00:17:16,097
Told you, I get carried
away when I gamble.
466
00:17:16,131 --> 00:17:17,465
You should have seen me last time.
467
00:17:17,532 --> 00:17:19,233
What happened last time?
468
00:17:19,267 --> 00:17:21,769
It was nothing, just a little
online poker thing in college.
469
00:17:21,803 --> 00:17:23,537
I had to sell my brother's Camry.
470
00:17:23,572 --> 00:17:25,539
- It's not a big deal.
- Wait, what?
471
00:17:25,574 --> 00:17:28,142
[Can Clattering]
472
00:17:28,627 --> 00:17:30,143
- [Whistle Blows]
- Keep smiling!
473
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:35,785
[Whistling]
474
00:17:35,785 --> 00:17:38,053
Is that opera?
475
00:17:38,087 --> 00:17:39,988
- No.
- No?
476
00:17:40,056 --> 00:17:42,624
- You all right, Glenn?
- Mm? Oh.
477
00:17:42,658 --> 00:17:45,059
One of the temporary workers quit.
478
00:17:45,093 --> 00:17:47,829
- Oh, oh, that's a shame.
- Mm.
479
00:17:47,896 --> 00:17:50,528
But, you know, it happens
all the time, right?
480
00:17:50,529 --> 00:17:52,667
- These guys quit early.
- Yeah, I know. It's...
481
00:17:52,734 --> 00:17:54,302
I'm just disappointed
482
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,866
'cause I hired them from my
church's Last Chances program.
483
00:17:59,741 --> 00:18:01,943
- But I guess, you know...
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
484
00:18:01,977 --> 00:18:03,578
- Last Chances?
- Yeah, yeah.
485
00:18:03,612 --> 00:18:05,980
You know, they're sort of
former drug addicts
486
00:18:06,014 --> 00:18:08,316
or kids with criminal records
487
00:18:08,350 --> 00:18:10,541
who can't find work anywhere else.
488
00:18:11,954 --> 00:18:13,287
- So...
- [Whistle Blows]
489
00:18:13,322 --> 00:18:16,257
Come on, Santa Three.
Jesus gave you knees.
490
00:18:16,291 --> 00:18:17,959
Pick them up.
491
00:18:17,993 --> 00:18:20,161
These poor souls are
just looking for a break
492
00:18:20,195 --> 00:18:21,829
and you turned this into Thunderdome.
493
00:18:21,864 --> 00:18:23,197
Yeah, I feel terrible.
494
00:18:23,265 --> 00:18:25,666
I didn't realize they were Last Chances.
495
00:18:25,701 --> 00:18:28,603
I did. I thought that was why
we were betting on them.
496
00:18:28,637 --> 00:18:31,873
Whoo! Is it hot in here today?
497
00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:33,274
Do I look flushed to you?
498
00:18:33,308 --> 00:18:35,643
What do you mean by flushed?
Do you mean tired?
499
00:18:35,677 --> 00:18:36,604
Because you always look tired.
500
00:18:36,605 --> 00:18:38,426
Oh, my back hurts.
501
00:18:38,427 --> 00:18:42,776
That table in the photo lab
is really uncomfortable.
502
00:18:42,810 --> 00:18:44,378
The photo lab?
503
00:18:44,412 --> 00:18:45,646
Oops.
504
00:18:45,713 --> 00:18:46,980
Busted!
505
00:18:48,983 --> 00:18:51,652
No, me and Adam...
506
00:18:51,719 --> 00:18:54,755
[Imitates Springs Squeaking]
507
00:18:56,591 --> 00:18:57,824
Oh.
508
00:18:58,283 --> 00:18:59,383
Se... sex.
509
00:18:59,384 --> 00:19:00,884
- Yeah, no, we got it.
- Yeah, yeah, mm-hmm.
510
00:19:00,919 --> 00:19:01,986
- For sure.
- Yeah, yeah.
511
00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:03,387
Yeah, no, loud and clear.
512
00:19:05,877 --> 00:19:07,812
After careful consideration,
513
00:19:07,879 --> 00:19:10,614
I've decided to go with
the applicant I pretty much
514
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,750
knew I was gonna go with
from the beginning.
515
00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:15,619
Uh, Santa number one. Congratulations.
516
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,488
Ho, ho, ho. [Laughs]
517
00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:18,823
- Thank you so much.
- Well...
518
00:19:18,890 --> 00:19:22,226
Oh, uh, what did you say this pays?
519
00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:24,261
- Pays?
- Yeah, how much is the pay?
520
00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:27,231
Well, no... no, you get to be Santa.
521
00:19:27,265 --> 00:19:28,499
I get to be.
522
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:29,500
Yeah, it... it pays
523
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:31,235
in a thousand smiles.
524
00:19:31,269 --> 00:19:33,003
It pays in the wonder
525
00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:36,073
on a little kid's face.
526
00:19:36,107 --> 00:19:37,808
What...
527
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,781
Well, I guess it's you.
528
00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:45,249
Congratulations, Cody.
529
00:19:45,283 --> 00:19:46,851
You're Santa Claus.
530
00:19:46,918 --> 00:19:49,587
I'm gonna be the best [Bleep] Santa.
531
00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:51,188
O-okay.
532
00:19:58,196 --> 00:19:59,330
[Sighs]
533
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,532
- Hey!
- Hey. Hi.
534
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,767
- Hey.
- Hi.
535
00:20:03,802 --> 00:20:06,203
We have a good marriage, right?
536
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,838
Uh, yeah.
537
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,707
We just did it at work,
538
00:20:09,774 --> 00:20:11,942
so yeah.
539
00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:15,279
Yeah. I think so too.
540
00:20:18,149 --> 00:20:21,051
Hey! Isaac. Hey, hey.
541
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,721
Oh, good, I was hoping
I was gonna catch you.
542
00:20:23,788 --> 00:20:25,122
Yeah, well I can't go home till 7:00,
543
00:20:25,156 --> 00:20:28,225
or my mom will know I quit another job.
544
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:29,994
I wanted to give you this.
545
00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:33,063
♪ Have yourself ♪
546
00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:34,565
♪ A merry little Christmas ♪
547
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:37,234
- Really? I-I can't...
- No, please.
548
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:39,303
It... it belongs in your hands
549
00:20:39,337 --> 00:20:40,591
way more than mine.
550
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:42,973
Thank you.
551
00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:45,009
Merry Christmas.
552
00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:46,977
♪ From now on ♪
553
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:48,412
You too.
554
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,681
♪ Our troubles will be out of sight ♪
555
00:20:50,715 --> 00:20:51,916
Hey, it's me.
556
00:20:51,983 --> 00:20:56,020
How much crystal can I buy for $200?
557
00:20:56,054 --> 00:20:58,722
Great, I'll see you in
an hour, Uncle Kevin.
558
00:20:58,764 --> 00:21:00,698
♪ Have yourself ♪
559
00:21:00,725 --> 00:21:02,226
Gonna get so [Bleep] high.
560
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:06,196
♪ A merry little Christmas ♪
561
00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:19,109
♪
562
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,978
♪ How many miles left to go
563
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:27,918
.
564
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:31,188
[Dramatic Music]
565
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:38,128
♪
566
00:21:41,032 --> 00:21:42,833
I hate Black Friday.
567
00:21:47,572 --> 00:21:49,440
♪
568
00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:50,808
Here we go.
569
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:55,212
This is the Super Bowl of retail.
570
00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:57,247
There's a buzz in the air,
571
00:21:57,249 --> 00:22:00,918
a charge that probably
doesn't read on camera.
572
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:04,722
Uh, but over here we have
the pre-opening potluck.
573
00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:07,257
Every employee brings a dish,
574
00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:09,393
much in the spirit of sharing.
575
00:22:09,395 --> 00:22:11,195
Isn't that a delightful tradition, Amy?
576
00:22:11,197 --> 00:22:12,763
Yeah, I love waking up at 3:00 a.m.
41155
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.