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1
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آه، داگلاس همون مردی که می خواستم ببینمش
2
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Give my résumé a once-over, will you?
3
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Your résumé? What's that about? What, you...
4
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- You want to go back to work?
- Yeah.
5
00:00:10,699 --> 00:00:12,710
I just can't take it anymore, Douglas.
6
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Sitting alone in that basement all day.
7
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To be honest with you,
8
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I'm starting to have some very strange thoughts.
9
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Really. Huh.
10
00:00:21,665 --> 00:00:23,046
Hadn't picked up on that.
11
00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:24,785
So
12
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, this going to land me a job, or what?
13
00:00:28,067 --> 00:00:30,992
Well, my first thought is, you might not want to do it in magic marker.
14
00:00:31,503 --> 00:00:33,285
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
15
00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,347
and which Little Rascal were you?
16
00:00:38,112 --> 00:00:42,820
Onions, beloved by millions, till
that bastard Alfalfa took it all away.
17
00:00:44,736 --> 00:00:46,960
All right, this, see, I got to throw a flag on this, okay?
18
00:00:46,985 --> 00:00:48,741
Somebody's going to check with NASA.
19
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:50,347
That's for me to worry about.
20
00:00:50,372 --> 00:00:54,699
All I wanted was for you to double-check my spelling
and grammar and not nitpick at every little detail!
21
00:00:54,724 --> 00:00:56,090
Okay! Fine!
22
00:00:56,559 --> 00:00:58,722
You spelled GPA wrong.
Other than that, it's perfect.
23
00:01:00,046 --> 00:01:01,518
Thank you.
24
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,852
"Hey, when is Aunt Gwinnie
getting here?"
25
00:01:35,009 --> 00:01:37,919
So I hear Larry King on the TV say,
26
00:01:37,944 --> 00:01:39,343
"She'll be with us at 7:00."
27
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,501
See, he was talking about a guest.
28
00:01:42,526 --> 00:01:45,293
Uh, I think it was Joyce Dewitt or Cindy Williams.
29
00:01:45,318 --> 00:01:46,194
I always get those two mixed up,
30
00:01:46,219 --> 00:01:49,694
but it sounded like he was answering me.
31
00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:51,342
That's so weird, isn't it?
32
00:01:54,619 --> 00:01:55,905
I wonder where Doug is.
33
00:01:57,299 --> 00:02:00,210
I bet you wish to God
you hadn't lost your house key.
34
00:02:00,235 --> 00:02:01,934
No, no. This is...
35
00:02:01,959 --> 00:02:03,257
This is nice.
36
00:02:03,282 --> 00:02:06,382
Did you read that thing in The Times
about how some men can lactate?
37
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:09,193
That was awesome!
38
00:02:09,218 --> 00:02:11,030
I'm telling you, it's a rush every time you get on.
39
00:02:11,055 --> 00:02:11,810
Hey.
- Hey, babe.
40
00:02:11,942 --> 00:02:12,645
What's up?
41
00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:15,515
Oh, not much.
I was just out riding on Richie's hog.
42
00:02:16,234 --> 00:02:17,483
Okay. Please rephrase that.
43
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:19,413
I got a motorcycle.
44
00:02:19,688 --> 00:02:21,866
- Really?
- Yeah It's unbelievable.
45
00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:24,202
We went from here to, like,
Modells and back in, like, two minutes.
46
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,358
It's so fast.
You zip in and out through traffic,
47
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,765
and I got to level with you.
48
00:02:27,790 --> 00:02:29,608
There was a breeze blowing up my shorts
49
00:02:30,015 --> 00:02:31,601
that felt like Christmas.
50
00:02:33,266 --> 00:02:34,952
Very nice. House key, please.
51
00:02:34,977 --> 00:02:35,851
Oh, right.
52
00:02:35,876 --> 00:02:37,140
God, that was so cool.
53
00:02:37,165 --> 00:02:39,101
Everybody's looking at you, like, whizzing by...
54
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:41,226
and then, out of nowhere,
Richie just pulls this wheelie.
55
00:02:41,251 --> 00:02:43,809
I wasn't going for one. You just leaned back.
56
00:02:45,079 --> 00:02:50,163
Uh, you know, from here, it sounds like
Mr. Doug wants to buy himself a motorcycle.
57
00:02:50,293 --> 00:02:51,241
You know what?
58
00:02:51,266 --> 00:02:52,483
I am a little tempted.
59
00:02:52,508 --> 00:02:54,522
Moose, you should see the guy that I got mine from.
60
00:02:54,547 --> 00:02:57,108
He's got some real beauties cheap,
and they run like new.
61
00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:58,516
You know what? Give me his number.
62
00:02:58,541 --> 00:02:59,772
Maybe I'll...
63
00:03:00,773 --> 00:03:02,288
You're not getting a motorcycle.
64
00:03:02,313 --> 00:03:03,296
Why not? Okay, Doug,
65
00:03:03,321 --> 00:03:05,288
did you not hear my buzzer noise?
66
00:03:05,548 --> 00:03:07,181
This is not going to happen.
67
00:03:07,206 --> 00:03:08,124
Why not?
68
00:03:08,149 --> 00:03:10,936
Because they're too dangerous,
and people die on them.
69
00:03:10,961 --> 00:03:12,866
I don't want
to have to constantly worry about you.
70
00:03:12,891 --> 00:03:13,539
Yeah, but, Carrie, I wouldn't...
71
00:03:13,564 --> 00:03:15,893
Doug, no motorcycle.
72
00:03:15,918 --> 00:03:18,546
If you want, I'll buy you a Schwinn,
we'll put a baseball card in the spokes,
73
00:03:18,571 --> 00:03:20,499
so It'll sound almost the same...
74
00:03:20,611 --> 00:03:21,452
Okay?
75
00:03:21,841 --> 00:03:24,274
Screw that noise.
76
00:03:24,299 --> 00:03:25,522
I can get one if I want.
77
00:03:25,586 --> 00:03:26,483
Okay, Doug, give me your hand.
78
00:03:26,508 --> 00:03:27,941
I want to make this easy for you.
79
00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:29,241
No.
80
00:03:30,872 --> 00:03:32,866
No.
81
00:03:33,031 --> 00:03:34,960
Now, give me the keys. I don't
want to miss The Real World.
82
00:03:34,985 --> 00:03:36,063
I love you. Don't be home late.
83
00:03:36,088 --> 00:03:36,593
Bye, guys.
84
00:03:36,618 --> 00:03:38,061
Goodnight, Carr. Bye-bye. Bye.
85
00:03:40,881 --> 00:03:41,709
What?
86
00:03:41,799 --> 00:03:43,987
Nothing. So, uh...
87
00:03:44,012 --> 00:03:45,905
you want to shoot some pool,
Mrs. Heffernan?
88
00:03:47,798 --> 00:03:50,038
Yeah, we could spot you two balls.
89
00:03:53,779 --> 00:03:56,421
Hey, so much for traditional gender roles,
90
00:03:56,446 --> 00:03:57,073
huh?
91
00:04:00,549 --> 00:04:02,217
I'm going to use the bathroom.
92
00:04:03,866 --> 00:04:05,091
So, yeah, you want to shoot a game?
93
00:04:05,191 --> 00:04:05,854
For real.
94
00:04:06,109 --> 00:04:07,780
No. You know what? No, thanks.
95
00:04:07,805 --> 00:04:09,311
Come on, man, we're just kidding around.
96
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,084
It's not you. It's Carrie.
97
00:04:11,329 --> 00:04:13,429
I mean, what was that about?
"No. No discussion."
98
00:04:14,001 --> 00:04:14,410
Sorry.
99
00:04:15,908 --> 00:04:16,739
Sorry!
100
00:04:16,918 --> 00:04:18,185
Easy. Easy.
101
00:04:19,472 --> 00:04:23,382
I just thought marriage was supposed to be
this mutual sharing dialog thing.
102
00:04:24,175 --> 00:04:25,116
No.
103
00:04:26,037 --> 00:04:28,343
Well, you know what? Ours is. Usually.
104
00:04:28,492 --> 00:04:29,407
Oh, really?
105
00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:31,100
Last year, uh...
106
00:04:31,352 --> 00:04:33,052
Where was it you wanted to go on vacation?
107
00:04:33,201 --> 00:04:35,124
- Baseball Hall of Fame.
- Baseball Hall of Fame.
108
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,201
Cooperstown,
109
00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:38,242
and, uh, where'd you end up going?
110
00:04:38,596 --> 00:04:40,085
Antiquing in Connecticut.
111
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:42,788
So you did, and, uh, last week,
112
00:04:42,813 --> 00:04:45,176
when we were renting movies to watch with the wives, uh...
113
00:04:45,417 --> 00:04:46,782
what did we end up renting?
114
00:04:47,399 --> 00:04:49,179
I don't know.
I can't remember.
115
00:04:49,204 --> 00:04:50,604
No, no. What did we rent?
116
00:04:50,847 --> 00:04:51,734
I don't know. What did we rent?
117
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:54,452
Hope Floats, all right?
There it is! Hope Floats!
118
00:04:54,477 --> 00:04:55,744
You see what I'm saying?
119
00:04:56,211 --> 00:04:57,510
You're married.
120
00:04:57,604 --> 00:04:58,356
Don't fight it.
121
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,355
You just got to...
Focus on a point on the wall and...
122
00:05:01,611 --> 00:05:02,626
let it happen.
123
00:05:03,473 --> 00:05:06,351
No. No, you know what?
You focus. Not this guy.
124
00:05:06,376 --> 00:05:08,765
I'm picking up my own soap,
and I'm getting out of the shower.
125
00:05:09,217 --> 00:05:09,869
Soap?
126
00:05:10,103 --> 00:05:11,077
What the hell are you talking about?
127
00:05:12,002 --> 00:05:13,108
I don't know. What are you talking about?
128
00:05:17,938 --> 00:05:18,741
She's pretty sweet, huh?
129
00:05:18,766 --> 00:05:19,765
Oh, that she is.
130
00:05:19,826 --> 00:05:20,825
Richie's right. You, uh...
131
00:05:21,246 --> 00:05:22,304
- You do nice work.
- Yeah.
132
00:05:22,329 --> 00:05:26,749
I hollowed out the cams, put in bigger piston
heads. You know, give it a couple more horses.
133
00:05:26,774 --> 00:05:28,677
Good. Yeah, because I, uh...
134
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:32,319
I probably would've hollowed them out
myself. Now I don't have to. That's good.
135
00:05:33,019 --> 00:05:34,051
So, you want to do the deal?
136
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:36,038
Hmm. I don't know.
What do you want for it?
137
00:05:36,063 --> 00:05:36,858
1200.
138
00:05:37,877 --> 00:05:39,913
It's a nice bike,
but I don't know if it's 1200 nice.
139
00:05:39,938 --> 00:05:40,551
1200.
140
00:05:40,576 --> 00:05:41,578
It is nice.
141
00:05:43,278 --> 00:05:46,894
Still, I don't know, you know?
1200...
142
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,387
What are you looking for?
143
00:05:51,928 --> 00:05:53,453
I don't know. Here's 1200.
144
00:05:57,822 --> 00:05:59,983
Darling, I need to borrow the iron.
145
00:06:00,071 --> 00:06:01,694
Dad, I told you.
146
00:06:01,719 --> 00:06:05,686
If you want a grilled cheese sandwich,
I will make you one.
147
00:06:05,851 --> 00:06:08,733
No, no.
I just wanted to press my pants.
148
00:06:09,050 --> 00:06:11,296
I got a job interview in the morning.
149
00:06:11,321 --> 00:06:12,406
Really?
150
00:06:12,431 --> 00:06:13,741
Good for you.
151
00:06:13,766 --> 00:06:14,835
What for?
152
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:18,190
Head of Pediatrics, Long Island Jewish.
153
00:06:21,868 --> 00:06:22,526
Great.
154
00:06:22,905 --> 00:06:24,361
Sure hope you don't get it.
155
00:06:25,444 --> 00:06:28,147
Okay, I think I know where that came from.
156
00:06:28,172 --> 00:06:28,975
Now, look,
157
00:06:29,261 --> 00:06:30,308
I love you.
158
00:06:30,982 --> 00:06:34,694
When I go back to work,
you will not become a latchkey child.
159
00:06:35,303 --> 00:06:37,731
That is my pledge to you.
160
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:23,950
- Hey, babe.
- Hi.
161
00:07:25,897 --> 00:07:28,279
What happened? I thought you
were coming home right after work.
162
00:07:28,304 --> 00:07:30,653
Uh, actually, I stopped... somewhere first.
163
00:07:30,678 --> 00:07:33,263
In fact, I, uh... I need to talk to you.
164
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,060
Let me just get dinner started real quick.
165
00:07:35,085 --> 00:07:37,544
Uh, dinner can wait.
I want to get this out now.
166
00:07:37,696 --> 00:07:39,207
Dinner can wait?
167
00:07:39,673 --> 00:07:41,935
Okay. Now you're really scaring me.
168
00:07:46,846 --> 00:07:47,497
Well?
169
00:07:47,522 --> 00:07:48,232
What?
170
00:07:48,257 --> 00:07:48,911
Carrie,
171
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:50,850
sometimes in a marriage...
172
00:07:53,461 --> 00:07:55,221
there comes a time when...
173
00:07:56,136 --> 00:07:57,421
one of the...
174
00:07:58,066 --> 00:08:01,033
members of that marriage
175
00:08:01,134 --> 00:08:03,349
needs to express themselves
in a way that...
176
00:08:03,374 --> 00:08:07,661
Douglas, that is one bad-ass motorcycle
you got out there. Nice work, kiddo.
177
00:08:20,565 --> 00:08:21,612
You got a motorcycle?
178
00:08:21,637 --> 00:08:23,108
Can I finish my story, please?
179
00:08:23,574 --> 00:08:24,964
You got a motorcycle?
180
00:08:24,989 --> 00:08:26,658
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I got a bike.
181
00:08:26,683 --> 00:08:29,760
I got a bike. I got a bike. There, I said
it. I don't care. I said it. It's out there.
182
00:08:32,666 --> 00:08:35,479
By the way, Douglas,
did Carrie tell you I got a job interview?
183
00:08:37,653 --> 00:08:40,026
Honey, you can't run from this.
Daddy needs to work!
184
00:08:41,292 --> 00:08:42,686
Douglas, get her.
185
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,792
Have you lost your mind?
And we discussed this.
186
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:50,393
No, no, we didn't discuss it. You
discussed it. I barely got a sentence in.
187
00:08:50,418 --> 00:08:53,542
Doug, I specifically forbade you from buying this.
188
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:56,003
Forbade me? Forbade? You can't forbade me.
189
00:08:56,712 --> 00:08:59,862
Are you insane? I mean, what the
hell do you think you're doing here?
190
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,320
I knew you would overreact like this.
191
00:09:01,345 --> 00:09:03,003
Look, I just wanted one. Huh? It'll be fun.
192
00:09:03,028 --> 00:09:05,948
Fun? Really? Will it be fun
when you're in a wheelchair?
193
00:09:06,691 --> 00:09:07,684
Maybe.
194
00:09:09,084 --> 00:09:12,300
- This is going back tomorrow.
- No, it's not going back tomorrow.
195
00:09:13,357 --> 00:09:15,307
- Oh. Oh, it is.
- Uh-uh. It's not.
196
00:09:15,332 --> 00:09:18,292
- It's so going back.
- It's so not going back.
197
00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:20,447
Hey, Doug, not only are you stupid for buying this,
198
00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:23,257
but you're arguing about it in a really annoying way.
199
00:09:23,282 --> 00:09:24,374
Tough noogies.
200
00:09:27,739 --> 00:09:29,694
Look, I'm keeping the motorcycle.
201
00:09:29,719 --> 00:09:31,667
For once,
I'm wearing the pants in the family.
202
00:09:31,692 --> 00:09:32,284
- Fine
- Fine.
203
00:09:32,309 --> 00:09:33,838
Keep the damn bike.
204
00:09:33,863 --> 00:09:34,651
- I will
- Fine.
205
00:09:34,676 --> 00:09:35,596
- I will
- Fine
206
00:09:35,621 --> 00:09:37,503
- I will.
- And by the way,
207
00:09:37,528 --> 00:09:40,409
if you want to wear the pants,
you might think about pulling them up.
208
00:09:49,905 --> 00:09:53,050
Well, peaches,
I think congratulations are in order.
209
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,550
Your father got himself a job.
210
00:09:56,026 --> 00:09:58,565
Well, I'm going to assume it's not the head of Pediatrics.
211
00:09:59,588 --> 00:10:02,792
No, no. Unfortunately, they
did a little fishing around,
212
00:10:03,299 --> 00:10:07,839
so instead, I accepted an offer from an
enterprise known as "A Big Hot Pretzel."
213
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:13,042
Well, the important thing is, you still get to work with kids.
214
00:10:13,398 --> 00:10:14,792
Congratulations.
215
00:10:14,886 --> 00:10:15,878
I'm proud of you.
216
00:10:15,903 --> 00:10:16,921
Thank you.
217
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:20,206
The pay's not great, but they
agreed to let me work evenings.
218
00:10:20,231 --> 00:10:22,925
That way, you and I can have our days together.
219
00:10:23,935 --> 00:10:26,234
I'd love to, Dad, but you know, I work during the day.
220
00:10:26,657 --> 00:10:29,917
Come on, darling. You're going to have to be
flexible if we're going to make this work.
221
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,565
Okay, well, I guess my only other option
is to quit my job?
222
00:10:34,632 --> 00:10:35,534
That's my girl.
223
00:10:37,206 --> 00:10:39,057
Sewing kit? Here we go.
224
00:10:39,321 --> 00:10:44,034
Got to let the crotch out on these trousers.
After all, I'm selling pretzels, not myself.
225
00:10:50,044 --> 00:10:51,084
What's up?
226
00:11:00,931 --> 00:11:02,018
Hey, babe.
227
00:11:02,613 --> 00:11:03,276
Kiss?
228
00:11:05,660 --> 00:11:07,760
You, uh, you want to know where I was?
I was...
229
00:11:07,881 --> 00:11:08,932
I was out cruising.
230
00:11:10,394 --> 00:11:12,370
Good for you, sweetie.
231
00:11:13,767 --> 00:11:15,003
I was on my motorcycle.
232
00:11:15,817 --> 00:11:17,083
I know. I know.
233
00:11:17,348 --> 00:11:19,322
- I'm fine with that.
- You are?
234
00:11:19,347 --> 00:11:23,839
Yeah, you know, I had a good night's sleep, thought
things through, and I figured, hey, you know what?
235
00:11:23,864 --> 00:11:26,016
If a motorcycle makes you happy,
236
00:11:26,194 --> 00:11:28,421
then I'm happy too, because you know what?
237
00:11:29,054 --> 00:11:32,164
Life's too short
not to do the things that make you happy.
238
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,045
Right?
239
00:11:38,095 --> 00:11:38,718
Right.
240
00:11:40,348 --> 00:11:41,919
So, you want to split an egg roll?
241
00:11:42,777 --> 00:11:44,140
- Do you?
- All right...
242
00:11:45,453 --> 00:11:46,874
What are you doing here?
243
00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:48,835
What? Oh. Oh, this?
244
00:11:48,860 --> 00:11:51,593
I'm just doing what makes me happy.
Oh, you know what?
245
00:11:51,618 --> 00:11:53,254
These are so smooth.
246
00:11:53,934 --> 00:11:55,703
We've come a long way, baby.
247
00:11:56,943 --> 00:11:58,960
So you're going to get cancer to make a point?
248
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,607
Sure. I'll be in an iron lung, you'll be in a wheelchair.
249
00:12:01,632 --> 00:12:04,499
Hey, you know what? Maybe we
can chip in and share a helper monkey.
250
00:12:05,682 --> 00:12:07,314
Well, you know what? It's not going to work.
251
00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:09,195
You can smoke all you want.
I don't care.
252
00:12:09,220 --> 00:12:11,421
Well, I'm glad you feel that way, sweetie.
253
00:12:11,446 --> 00:12:12,344
Oh, I do.
254
00:12:13,096 --> 00:12:14,769
I do. I do. You know?
255
00:12:14,825 --> 00:12:18,320
Look, I'm not going to play games, Carrie. I'm not
going to that place where you want me to go here.
256
00:12:18,376 --> 00:12:20,757
If you want to ruin your lungs,
then that's...
257
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:24,345
All right.
258
00:12:24,639 --> 00:12:26,687
Put her out.
I can't eat in that stink.
259
00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:30,365
Well, then go eat with your motorcycle,
because I likes to smoke while I eat.
260
00:12:33,167 --> 00:12:35,109
Fine. You know what? I will. I will.
You know what?
261
00:12:35,134 --> 00:12:37,849
I will, and you can smoke all you want,
because I'm keeping my motorcycle.
262
00:12:38,746 --> 00:12:40,013
Duck sauce.
263
00:13:48,347 --> 00:13:49,758
Oh, don't mind me.
264
00:13:49,783 --> 00:13:51,555
I'm just looking for something.
265
00:13:53,021 --> 00:13:54,500
Oh, thank God.
266
00:13:55,917 --> 00:13:59,547
You know, if you lose one of these things,
it comes right out of your paycheck.
267
00:13:59,695 --> 00:14:02,281
I already owe them
for that stupid soda machine.
268
00:14:04,638 --> 00:14:06,758
So, uh... you...
269
00:14:06,864 --> 00:14:09,131
You still enjoying the chopper?
270
00:14:09,423 --> 00:14:09,940
Hmm?
271
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,594
Oh, uh, yeah.
It's great.
272
00:14:13,531 --> 00:14:15,930
Don't let Carrie get you down.
273
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,579
You know, when I had my motorcycle,
274
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,422
her mother was the same way.
275
00:14:20,447 --> 00:14:21,490
You had a bike?
276
00:14:21,555 --> 00:14:23,258
Sure. Loved it too.
277
00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:25,249
The great open road.
278
00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:27,103
Rumble of your machine.
279
00:14:27,874 --> 00:14:30,535
Camaraderie of your gang brothers.
280
00:14:32,869 --> 00:14:34,337
You were in a gang?
281
00:14:34,494 --> 00:14:35,417
Not really.
282
00:14:35,687 --> 00:14:40,219
I asked them to let me in, but they drank heavily
all weekend and beat me pretty severely...
283
00:14:44,607 --> 00:14:45,148
Okay.
284
00:14:45,890 --> 00:14:50,641
And I think I may have been compromised
by a gentleman named...
285
00:14:50,766 --> 00:14:52,016
Road Dog.
286
00:15:12,242 --> 00:15:14,391
God, I hate you!
287
00:15:16,974 --> 00:15:17,836
Carrie!
288
00:15:18,172 --> 00:15:19,257
Up here.
289
00:15:25,283 --> 00:15:26,065
Hey.
290
00:15:27,599 --> 00:15:28,562
Want to have sex?
291
00:15:30,117 --> 00:15:31,308
I'm getting rid of the bike.
292
00:15:31,825 --> 00:15:32,852
You are? Mm-hmm.
293
00:15:32,877 --> 00:15:34,109
Selling it tomorrow. You happy?
294
00:15:34,575 --> 00:15:35,415
Well...
295
00:15:35,866 --> 00:15:36,875
yeah.
296
00:15:37,684 --> 00:15:39,250
What happened? You get sick of it?
297
00:15:39,756 --> 00:15:41,937
No. Sorry. I didn't get sick of it.
298
00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:44,471
You got sick of it.
299
00:15:44,496 --> 00:15:45,734
- No
- Yes!
300
00:15:45,759 --> 00:15:47,234
No. Let me tell you something, Carrie, okay?
301
00:15:47,259 --> 00:15:48,206
I love that bike, okay?
302
00:15:48,231 --> 00:15:49,903
I'm a free spirit on that bike.
303
00:15:49,928 --> 00:15:51,928
Me and that bike are like this, okay?
304
00:15:52,574 --> 00:15:54,407
Then why you getting rid of it?
305
00:15:55,810 --> 00:15:56,876
Why, you ask me?
306
00:15:57,513 --> 00:15:59,294
Because it just so happens
307
00:15:59,442 --> 00:16:01,841
that I love this...
more.
308
00:16:02,783 --> 00:16:05,701
This is why I'm getting rid of
the bike, and no other reason,
309
00:16:05,726 --> 00:16:06,668
and you know what?
310
00:16:06,962 --> 00:16:09,029
If you can't understand that,
then...
311
00:16:09,467 --> 00:16:11,900
how sad your world must be.
312
00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:21,979
Ah, there she is.
313
00:16:22,004 --> 00:16:24,513
The harpy who made her husband sell his motorcycle.
314
00:16:25,097 --> 00:16:25,865
Dad, please.
315
00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:28,849
Please, nothing. I know why you did this,
but let me tell you one thing.
316
00:16:28,874 --> 00:16:31,923
Motorcycle or no motorcycle,
I'll find a way to get to work.
317
00:16:31,981 --> 00:16:32,980
Dad!
318
00:16:33,005 --> 00:16:34,491
I'll take the bus if I have to.
319
00:16:34,516 --> 00:16:37,250
Sure, the bus can't pick me up at my front door
320
00:16:37,275 --> 00:16:39,685
or make my tushy feel good with its rhythmic vibrations...
321
00:16:39,710 --> 00:16:42,419
Dad, wait.
Would you just listen to me, please?
322
00:16:42,444 --> 00:16:44,388
I'm glad you got a job.
323
00:16:44,466 --> 00:16:47,958
I made Doug get rid of the motorcycle
because they're way too dangerous.
324
00:16:48,104 --> 00:16:48,766
Uh-huh.
325
00:16:49,447 --> 00:16:50,507
Well...
326
00:16:51,233 --> 00:16:52,791
you know what's more dangerous?
327
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:54,373
What?
328
00:16:55,552 --> 00:16:59,373
Having somebody resent you
for making them give up their dream...
329
00:17:00,934 --> 00:17:03,279
and you know what's even more dangerous?
330
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:09,107
Leaving a pair of boxer shorts drying on
a space heater, so if you'll excuse me...
331
00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:17,511
Aah!
332
00:17:24,246 --> 00:17:25,394
I sold you.
333
00:17:28,094 --> 00:17:32,495
Oh, shoot. You're home already. I didn't
get a chance to put the bow on it yet.
334
00:17:32,682 --> 00:17:33,425
Well...
335
00:17:33,494 --> 00:17:34,339
here.
336
00:17:34,364 --> 00:17:36,636
What...
What have you done?
337
00:17:37,392 --> 00:17:42,433
I felt really guilty about making you sell it, and I
didn't want you to hate me for the rest of your life, so...
338
00:17:42,952 --> 00:17:44,753
- I bought it back.
- You bought it back!
339
00:17:44,778 --> 00:17:45,405
That's...
340
00:17:45,674 --> 00:17:46,675
You bought it back.
341
00:17:48,392 --> 00:17:50,386
So what's the deal?
I don't get a hug for this?
342
00:17:50,605 --> 00:17:52,894
Oh, yeah!
Yeah.
343
00:17:54,613 --> 00:17:55,495
Now...
344
00:17:55,976 --> 00:17:57,676
no riding at night,
345
00:17:57,826 --> 00:18:00,511
no riding on the expressway,
and no riding in bad weather.
346
00:18:00,536 --> 00:18:01,839
- You got it?
- Yeah. Yeah.
347
00:18:01,864 --> 00:18:03,828
Oh, wait.
I have another surprise for you.
348
00:18:04,619 --> 00:18:06,351
They just keep coming, don't they?
349
00:18:09,287 --> 00:18:11,617
Now we can go riding together.
350
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:12,877
Look at me.
351
00:18:14,483 --> 00:18:16,917
I'm Pinky Tuscadero.
352
00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:19,573
Come on.
Let's take it for a spin.
353
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:21,082
Let's bust some heads, baby.
354
00:18:21,421 --> 00:18:22,425
Okay.
355
00:18:24,406 --> 00:18:25,722
Come on!
356
00:18:25,803 --> 00:18:27,769
Okay! Yeah! Okay!
357
00:18:28,271 --> 00:18:29,503
All right.
358
00:18:35,550 --> 00:18:39,526
Honey, don't you need to, like...
start it or something?
359
00:18:43,650 --> 00:18:44,425
Funny story.
360
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:46,344
Uh, hey, get ready to laugh.
361
00:18:47,029 --> 00:18:48,507
It turns out I hate the bike.
362
00:18:50,516 --> 00:18:51,651
- What?
- I hate it.
363
00:18:51,886 --> 00:18:53,098
Hey, let's go buy you a gift.
364
00:18:53,123 --> 00:18:53,979
Come on.
365
00:18:54,442 --> 00:18:55,382
Doug!
366
00:18:55,771 --> 00:18:58,003
What do you mean you hate the bike?
I thought you loved this thing.
367
00:18:58,028 --> 00:18:59,565
I don't love it, okay?
368
00:19:00,161 --> 00:19:02,644
I mean, I get rained on,
people laugh at me,
369
00:19:02,669 --> 00:19:04,792
and at night, no one can see you.
At night, you're going to die.
370
00:19:04,817 --> 00:19:06,386
You might as well just face it.
You're going to die.
371
00:19:07,675 --> 00:19:11,065
Well, then what was that load of crap
you gave me about how much you loved it,
372
00:19:11,090 --> 00:19:13,524
but you loved this more?
373
00:19:13,831 --> 00:19:17,104
I was embarrassed, all right? I was just trying
to get out of this with a shred of manhood.
374
00:19:17,175 --> 00:19:20,714
And you thought you'd do that by making
me feel guilty for the rest of my life?
375
00:19:20,816 --> 00:19:22,846
It felt right at the time, yeah.
376
00:19:23,441 --> 00:19:24,885
What is wrong with you?
377
00:19:24,910 --> 00:19:27,072
I fell there!
378
00:19:28,449 --> 00:19:30,284
- Look, it was your fault too.
- My fault?
379
00:19:30,309 --> 00:19:33,677
Yeah, that... That buzzer noise is so insulting, you know?
380
00:19:33,733 --> 00:19:36,073
I don't like it when you do it in front of my friends...
381
00:19:36,931 --> 00:19:39,199
and I really don't like it when you do it during sex.
382
00:19:39,373 --> 00:19:40,643
Okay.
383
00:19:40,759 --> 00:19:44,685
I'm sorry I buzzed you about getting the motorcycle.
384
00:19:45,006 --> 00:19:47,001
I just did it because I love you.
385
00:19:47,290 --> 00:19:48,556
I know. I...
386
00:19:48,581 --> 00:19:50,311
I love you too. Come here.
387
00:19:52,890 --> 00:19:54,104
All right.
388
00:19:54,698 --> 00:19:56,769
Well, let's see where we're at
with this thing.
389
00:19:57,433 --> 00:20:01,136
We got a bike that we don't want
that we bought twice
390
00:20:01,645 --> 00:20:03,183
and I'm addicted to smoking.
391
00:20:04,205 --> 00:20:06,784
Yeah, but we, uh... We still got this, right?
392
00:20:06,809 --> 00:20:08,839
Hmm? Oh, yeah. We still have this.
393
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:11,096
Okay, um...
394
00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:15,081
I guess I'll just call Dirk tomorrow
and see if I can get my 800 bucks back.
395
00:20:15,106 --> 00:20:15,753
Eight?
396
00:20:15,778 --> 00:20:17,577
You, uh, you got the bike for eight?
397
00:20:17,697 --> 00:20:20,634
Yeah. He wanted 1200. Can you believe that?
398
00:20:21,577 --> 00:20:23,151
That's ridiculous.
399
00:20:28,077 --> 00:20:29,120
Hey, honey.
400
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:29,859
Hey.
401
00:20:29,884 --> 00:20:30,883
How you feeling?
402
00:20:31,049 --> 00:20:31,951
Great.
403
00:20:32,192 --> 00:20:34,313
This nicotine patch really works.
404
00:20:34,576 --> 00:20:36,467
It's like, "Cigarette?"
405
00:20:36,558 --> 00:20:37,599
"No, thanks."
406
00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:39,618
Good. I'm glad you feel that way.
407
00:20:41,094 --> 00:20:44,428
You know, I think we're getting a little
low on shampoo. Can you pick up some later?
408
00:20:44,453 --> 00:20:45,162
You got it.
409
00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:50,263
Oh, and don't forget, we're having
dinner with Deacon and Kelly on Thursday.
30087
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