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1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:04,715
Do you want to marry me? I'm
applying for a job. What for?!
2
00:00:04,717 --> 00:00:07,430
What if he gets someone difficult?!
3
00:00:07,432 --> 00:00:09,519
If you wanted to come
for dinner, I could cook.
4
00:00:09,521 --> 00:00:12,170
Are you seeing anyone?
Tell me about Lawrence.
5
00:00:12,172 --> 00:00:14,210
They do a YouTube channel.
6
00:00:14,212 --> 00:00:15,610
I've got woodworm.
7
00:00:15,612 --> 00:00:18,770
Needs doing sharpish.
Do you have that sort of money?
8
00:00:18,772 --> 00:00:20,890
We might have to put the
kitchen on hold.
9
00:00:20,892 --> 00:00:24,490
This is you all over, Gillian.
We'll find another way.
10
00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:26,290
PHONE RINGS
It's Ted.
11
00:00:26,292 --> 00:00:29,252
He's coming over.
The plot thickens.
12
00:01:16,612 --> 00:01:18,252
Ta-ra. Night.
13
00:01:31,612 --> 00:01:33,970
All right, look, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said...
14
00:01:33,972 --> 00:01:35,930
Let's...
15
00:01:35,932 --> 00:01:37,972
SHE SIGHS
16
00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:43,490
I shouldn't have said anything,
not on people's birthdays,
17
00:01:43,492 --> 00:01:46,690
I should've waited till we got
home. No.
18
00:01:46,692 --> 00:01:50,130
I should've spoken to you
about it before we set off,
19
00:01:50,132 --> 00:01:54,010
then we could have
discussed it properly.
20
00:01:54,012 --> 00:01:56,250
I do understand why you want
to help her.
21
00:01:56,252 --> 00:01:59,170
No, you're right. She's 53.
22
00:01:59,172 --> 00:02:00,330
Just.
23
00:02:00,332 --> 00:02:03,770
She needs to stop thinking
she can tap money off me.
24
00:02:03,772 --> 00:02:06,530
I just worry, you know,
about workmen.
25
00:02:06,532 --> 00:02:09,930
They can have you over a barrel
if you start mucking them about.
26
00:02:09,932 --> 00:02:13,410
Yeah. Not turning up,
turning up late,
27
00:02:13,412 --> 00:02:16,692
turning up when it suits
them. I know, I know.
28
00:02:18,612 --> 00:02:19,930
We can't fall out, can we?
29
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,610
No!
30
00:02:21,612 --> 00:02:23,652
And we're not going to.
31
00:02:27,972 --> 00:02:31,730
Have you applied for this job
in this supermarket
32
00:02:31,732 --> 00:02:33,290
because you're fed up with me?
33
00:02:33,292 --> 00:02:34,650
No!
34
00:02:34,652 --> 00:02:37,610
I know things haven't been
the same between us
35
00:02:37,612 --> 00:02:41,172
since we couldn't agree about
Brexit.
36
00:02:43,452 --> 00:02:47,490
It's just...to get out of the
house now and again.
37
00:02:47,492 --> 00:02:49,050
Just...
38
00:02:49,052 --> 00:02:51,690
..to see a few new faces.
39
00:02:51,692 --> 00:02:54,372
Seeing new faces keeps you
young.
40
00:02:56,052 --> 00:02:59,172
Are you fed up with this old face?
41
00:03:01,492 --> 00:03:03,250
OWL HOOTS
42
00:03:03,252 --> 00:03:04,612
No.
43
00:03:22,172 --> 00:03:24,050
TV ON
44
00:03:24,052 --> 00:03:26,170
DOG WHINES
45
00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:28,330
Listen, don't take this the
wrong way,
46
00:03:28,332 --> 00:03:30,450
but I can lend you this �5,000.
47
00:03:30,452 --> 00:03:31,770
No.
48
00:03:31,772 --> 00:03:33,490
Caroline,
49
00:03:33,492 --> 00:03:35,410
she's right.
50
00:03:35,412 --> 00:03:38,570
Shouldn't have asked.
Well, it's there. The offer.
51
00:03:38,572 --> 00:03:39,690
If you need it.
52
00:03:39,692 --> 00:03:42,170
You're kind, but no.
53
00:03:42,172 --> 00:03:44,772
I'll have to find another way.
54
00:03:48,452 --> 00:03:49,972
I, er...
55
00:03:51,972 --> 00:03:53,132
What?
56
00:03:59,452 --> 00:04:01,292
I got a birthday card off Robbie.
57
00:04:07,092 --> 00:04:10,130
Sounds like he's doing all right.
Do you think he'll stay in Canada?
58
00:04:10,132 --> 00:04:12,410
That's the first time he's been
in touch since he went.
59
00:04:12,412 --> 00:04:13,410
Well, in touch with me.
60
00:04:13,412 --> 00:04:15,490
He texts Raff every now and
again. It's a nice message.
61
00:04:15,492 --> 00:04:16,850
That's what I thought.
62
00:04:16,852 --> 00:04:19,010
I mean...it's, er, reassuring.
63
00:04:19,012 --> 00:04:23,730
He hasn't changed his mind about not
saying anything to anybody...
64
00:04:23,732 --> 00:04:25,172
..about owt.
65
00:04:26,212 --> 00:04:27,492
Hmm.
66
00:04:29,732 --> 00:04:33,330
I don't miss him. I thought
I might, in time, but...
67
00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:34,970
You don't get lonely?
68
00:04:34,972 --> 00:04:37,292
I think this is the least lonely
I've ever been.
69
00:04:39,492 --> 00:04:42,010
Do you? Get lonely?
70
00:04:42,012 --> 00:04:45,970
Yeah. I think, you know,
when you've got a little one
71
00:04:45,972 --> 00:04:49,170
and you spend so much time
talking their language,
72
00:04:49,172 --> 00:04:52,810
and then there's nobody there
to talk yours, then...yeah.
73
00:04:52,812 --> 00:04:55,850
You want to put yourself out
there. I don't.
74
00:04:55,852 --> 00:04:58,850
You need to get yourself over
to Hebden Women's Disco.
75
00:04:58,852 --> 00:05:01,770
I am not going to
Hebden Women's Disco.
76
00:05:01,772 --> 00:05:04,770
Second Saturday in the month.
I'll come with you.
77
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:06,610
You'll be there by yourself,
mate, cos I'm not coming.
78
00:05:06,612 --> 00:05:09,450
Where do posh lesbians go to
get...? The Guardian!
79
00:05:09,452 --> 00:05:12,650
Soulmates. Don't do this to me.
No, they do!
80
00:05:12,652 --> 00:05:14,250
I've got someone coming round for
dinner tomorrow night.
81
00:05:14,252 --> 00:05:18,570
Don't get excited! It's not...
She's probably not, erm...
82
00:05:18,572 --> 00:05:22,130
It's my head of English. Ruth.
83
00:05:22,132 --> 00:05:23,930
Wow.
84
00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:25,650
Yes, the same as... The dog.
85
00:05:25,652 --> 00:05:27,130
I know. Yeah. What's she like?
86
00:05:27,132 --> 00:05:28,450
Well, she's not...
87
00:05:28,452 --> 00:05:29,930
WHISPERING: ..gay.
88
00:05:29,932 --> 00:05:31,850
Her husband's sleeping
in the spare bedroom,
89
00:05:31,852 --> 00:05:34,250
but she's not gay, so...
90
00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:36,410
But you like her.
91
00:05:36,412 --> 00:05:38,492
She's 15 years younger than
me and she's not...
92
00:05:39,852 --> 00:05:42,930
..as I say, but, yeah, yeah.
I do, yeah.
93
00:05:42,932 --> 00:05:44,690
Do I? No, I don't know.
94
00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:47,570
So, she's coming round for...?
95
00:05:47,572 --> 00:05:49,250
Well, to go through the Q&A.
96
00:05:49,252 --> 00:05:52,570
She's doing the Q&A when Judith
comes, so, obviously,
97
00:05:52,572 --> 00:05:54,970
it's got to go smoothly
98
00:05:54,972 --> 00:05:58,370
and be well planned...
Yeah! God, yeah, Judith.
99
00:05:58,372 --> 00:06:00,050
No messing about.
No tripping up, pissed.
100
00:06:00,052 --> 00:06:03,690
So you've invited her over for
dinner? Ruth?
101
00:06:03,692 --> 00:06:06,850
Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have.
No, you should have!
102
00:06:06,852 --> 00:06:10,612
Yeah, but I don't know what
you...what you do. I don't know...
103
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,250
..anything, and I kind of wish
I hadn't now,
104
00:06:14,252 --> 00:06:15,610
now that I've said it out loud.
105
00:06:15,612 --> 00:06:18,410
Do you want me to come?
Say all the wrong things?
106
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,930
Yeah, that'd help.
Show you up, embarrass you?
107
00:06:20,932 --> 00:06:22,410
Yeah, brilliant.
108
00:06:22,412 --> 00:06:23,850
"Caroline fancies you"!
109
00:06:23,852 --> 00:06:25,050
Shh.
110
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,210
That'd focus everyone's thoughts.
111
00:06:27,212 --> 00:06:28,652
Don't make me wish I hadn't
told you.
112
00:06:30,612 --> 00:06:32,090
You should go for it.
113
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:33,650
You're very attractive,
114
00:06:33,652 --> 00:06:35,530
even if she is 15 years
younger.
115
00:06:35,532 --> 00:06:37,010
She should be so lucky.
116
00:06:37,012 --> 00:06:38,252
Seriously.
117
00:06:39,252 --> 00:06:40,572
Life's short.
118
00:06:42,772 --> 00:06:44,530
You deserve something nice.
119
00:06:44,532 --> 00:06:46,452
You're a nice person.
120
00:07:07,612 --> 00:07:08,810
Dad?
121
00:07:08,812 --> 00:07:10,530
Hmm?
122
00:07:10,532 --> 00:07:13,412
You all right? Mmm. Yeah.
123
00:07:14,612 --> 00:07:16,210
Sitting in the dark.
124
00:07:16,212 --> 00:07:17,450
Cool.
125
00:07:17,452 --> 00:07:19,052
Bit weird.
126
00:07:22,012 --> 00:07:23,970
What would you think about...
127
00:07:23,972 --> 00:07:25,490
..if I got married again?
128
00:07:25,492 --> 00:07:26,610
Who to?
129
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:28,090
Well, Judith, of course.
130
00:07:28,092 --> 00:07:29,452
HE GIGGLES
131
00:07:32,212 --> 00:07:33,610
You don't like her.
132
00:07:33,612 --> 00:07:35,090
How do you mean?
133
00:07:35,092 --> 00:07:36,170
She doesn't like you.
134
00:07:36,172 --> 00:07:38,410
In what way?
You hate each other.
135
00:07:38,412 --> 00:07:39,810
Oh, I see.
136
00:07:39,812 --> 00:07:41,410
Well, yes.
137
00:07:41,412 --> 00:07:47,330
I realise that's...an impression we
may have cultivated.
138
00:07:47,332 --> 00:07:49,172
I've always found it convincing.
139
00:07:50,412 --> 00:07:51,890
The thing is,
140
00:07:51,892 --> 00:07:53,452
I don't want to hurt her.
141
00:07:54,852 --> 00:07:56,052
No.
142
00:07:57,252 --> 00:07:58,612
Yeah. Yeah. Right.
143
00:08:02,652 --> 00:08:07,050
Well, I'm just invading Iraq
upstairs, so...
144
00:08:07,052 --> 00:08:09,772
I'm just going to... Sure.
145
00:08:34,292 --> 00:08:36,210
So I thought I'd jump in
the Jag
146
00:08:36,212 --> 00:08:39,572
with you and Flora, and Ted can
travel in the Lexus with Alan.
147
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,570
We'll need the Jag, anyway, for
Ted's luggage,
148
00:08:42,572 --> 00:08:45,050
by the sound of things. Right.
149
00:08:45,052 --> 00:08:48,812
Are you feeding the 5,000? No.
150
00:08:49,812 --> 00:08:52,650
Got someone coming? Possibly.
151
00:08:52,652 --> 00:08:54,970
Well, shall I set off, then,
if you're going together?
152
00:08:54,972 --> 00:08:56,730
Do you know,
I could've met you there.
153
00:08:56,732 --> 00:08:58,132
Yeah, that's what I said.
154
00:09:06,292 --> 00:09:09,370
I just wanted five minutes
with you. Why?
155
00:09:09,372 --> 00:09:12,850
I think he's fed up with me.
Alan? Why?
156
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:15,210
Well, why has he applied
for this job?
157
00:09:15,212 --> 00:09:18,130
"To get out of the house,"
he's told me.
158
00:09:18,132 --> 00:09:20,010
"To see a few new faces."
159
00:09:20,012 --> 00:09:21,652
Well, that's...
160
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:27,170
Doesn't mean he's fed up of you.
Well, if he was happy at home,
161
00:09:27,172 --> 00:09:30,290
he wouldn't think of applying
for a job, would he?
162
00:09:30,292 --> 00:09:33,530
You know, it isn't as if he
needs to, is it? He's retired.
163
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,010
Yeah, but you don't want to be
164
00:09:35,012 --> 00:09:38,810
in each other's pockets all day,
do you? Do you?
165
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:42,210
And then this business last
night with bloody Gillian.
166
00:09:42,212 --> 00:09:43,530
Shh! Just...
167
00:09:43,532 --> 00:09:45,050
Oh...
168
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:46,372
Be careful what you say. Oh.
169
00:10:04,372 --> 00:10:06,210
There. Look.
170
00:10:06,212 --> 00:10:09,570
Grando! Hello, love.
171
00:10:09,572 --> 00:10:10,890
Hello.
172
00:10:10,892 --> 00:10:11,930
Hey, you beat me!
173
00:10:11,932 --> 00:10:14,490
Hmm. Looks like he's landed,
if he's on it.
174
00:10:14,492 --> 00:10:17,330
He'll have security to get
through, four bags to collect,
175
00:10:17,332 --> 00:10:19,770
and can't walk so fast, so he's
going to be, what,
176
00:10:19,772 --> 00:10:21,210
20 minutes? Ah.
177
00:10:21,212 --> 00:10:23,492
Can I go and look in that shop?
Stay where I can see you.
178
00:10:27,092 --> 00:10:29,452
Can I have some money?
No, you can window-shop.
179
00:10:30,572 --> 00:10:32,130
It's all landfill.
180
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:35,930
Have you seen Celia,
and Caroline? Not yet.
181
00:10:35,932 --> 00:10:40,290
Everything all right at home
last night when you got back?
182
00:10:40,292 --> 00:10:41,650
Yeah!
183
00:10:41,652 --> 00:10:43,052
Yeah. Yeah.
184
00:10:44,412 --> 00:10:47,370
HE SIGHS
I should've talked to her
185
00:10:47,372 --> 00:10:51,090
about that there before we came
over, and then...
186
00:10:51,092 --> 00:10:53,930
Yeah. Well... I'm sorry.
187
00:10:53,932 --> 00:10:57,610
It's fine. Here, happen I could give
you a bit of something towards it,
188
00:10:57,612 --> 00:11:01,610
at least, and not tell Celia.
No. No, I'm not having that.
189
00:11:01,612 --> 00:11:04,770
You see, you try and please
everyone, and you end up pleasing nobody!
190
00:11:04,772 --> 00:11:07,410
Presumably Celia's happy now?
HE SIGHS
191
00:11:07,412 --> 00:11:10,092
Which is fine. It's fine. Hey!
192
00:11:15,012 --> 00:11:16,490
Ey-up, they're here.
193
00:11:16,492 --> 00:11:17,650
Yeah.
194
00:11:17,652 --> 00:11:20,850
Long time no see!
Long time no see!
195
00:11:20,852 --> 00:11:22,490
They're great chums,
them two, aren't they, hey?
196
00:11:22,492 --> 00:11:25,490
They never stop chatting when we
pick 'em up from school.
197
00:11:25,492 --> 00:11:26,690
Yeah, they love each other.
198
00:11:26,692 --> 00:11:28,690
She's a nice little kid, Flora.
199
00:11:28,692 --> 00:11:30,650
Yeah.
200
00:11:30,652 --> 00:11:32,932
Looks like he's landed! Yup!
201
00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:35,372
Hopefully.
202
00:11:57,532 --> 00:12:01,452
I'm going feeding chickens!
Right!
203
00:12:35,252 --> 00:12:36,932
Ohh...
204
00:12:47,492 --> 00:12:49,572
Fuck...off!
205
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,252
PHONE RINGS
206
00:12:56,092 --> 00:12:57,770
Hiya.
207
00:12:57,772 --> 00:13:01,210
You need to come and look at this.
Why, what's up?
208
00:13:01,212 --> 00:13:02,892
Well, where are you?
209
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,532
Are you smoking? No.
210
00:13:09,972 --> 00:13:13,090
You were, you were smoking!
211
00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:16,170
You know, I'm not stupid,
I'm not blind.
212
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:18,410
This is that Leah
you're always on about!
213
00:13:18,412 --> 00:13:20,810
When we went out for that drink
before Christmas with your lot,
214
00:13:20,812 --> 00:13:23,850
she were never inside the pub!
Always standing outside
215
00:13:23,852 --> 00:13:25,890
in the rain cracking her baccy
open!
216
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:29,132
This is just so typical of you,
this is. You're just so...
217
00:13:32,572 --> 00:13:35,412
Oh, my actual God.
218
00:13:40,932 --> 00:13:42,890
Who did you say you'd got
coming for dinner tonight?
219
00:13:42,892 --> 00:13:44,570
I didn't,
220
00:13:44,572 --> 00:13:47,052
cos I don't want any
comments or opinions.
221
00:13:50,092 --> 00:13:51,532
Is that Ted?
222
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:53,770
Ted!
223
00:13:53,772 --> 00:13:57,090
Ah! Here we are! Thanks,
love, that'll do.
224
00:13:57,092 --> 00:13:59,090
Are you all right? Yes.
225
00:13:59,092 --> 00:14:01,170
Oh, no, it's not mine, no.
No, we borrowed it.
226
00:14:01,172 --> 00:14:02,930
We just saw it down there.
227
00:14:02,932 --> 00:14:04,730
I think it belongs to the airline.
228
00:14:04,732 --> 00:14:07,250
Either that, or there's someone
down there struggling.
229
00:14:07,252 --> 00:14:08,490
BOTH CHUCKLE
230
00:14:08,492 --> 00:14:12,170
How are we all? Hello, hello,
hello! Look at you!
231
00:14:12,172 --> 00:14:14,330
Ted!
232
00:14:14,332 --> 00:14:17,690
Gillian!
Oh, Ted, hello. Mwah.
233
00:14:17,692 --> 00:14:19,890
And Caroline! Hello, Ted.
234
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:21,770
Hello, love. Aw.
235
00:14:21,772 --> 00:14:24,970
And, er, who're these young
ladies?
236
00:14:24,972 --> 00:14:28,410
This is Calamity - Emily -
and this is Flora.
237
00:14:28,412 --> 00:14:29,930
How are you?
238
00:14:29,932 --> 00:14:31,650
I'm... I'm lovely!
239
00:14:31,652 --> 00:14:33,930
Oh, yeah, this is, er... Mia.
240
00:14:33,932 --> 00:14:35,610
Mia! And, er... Alyssa.
241
00:14:35,612 --> 00:14:36,930
And Alyssa.
242
00:14:36,932 --> 00:14:39,290
Hi. We chummed up in Hong Kong.
243
00:14:39,292 --> 00:14:41,850
He's so lovely! We love him.
244
00:14:41,852 --> 00:14:45,130
They've been looking after me.
I said we'd give them a lift.
245
00:14:45,132 --> 00:14:47,850
You have brought the Land Rover,
haven't you? Yeah! Yeah!
246
00:14:47,852 --> 00:14:50,930
Aw! Uncle Ted!
247
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,970
Where are you going, exactly?
248
00:14:52,972 --> 00:14:54,490
Where do you want a lift to?
249
00:14:54,492 --> 00:14:55,970
Anywhere! Wherever you're going.
250
00:14:55,972 --> 00:14:58,570
We could put them up for a couple
of nights, couldn't we?
251
00:14:58,572 --> 00:15:00,530
Yeah! Yeah!
252
00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:04,250
Till they've got their bearings.
Yeah, if...
253
00:15:04,252 --> 00:15:06,650
Er, yeah.
We're no trouble.
254
00:15:06,652 --> 00:15:09,450
We can sleep anywhere.
We could sleep in a ditch.
255
00:15:09,452 --> 00:15:12,132
We'd rather not, but, um...
If we had to.
256
00:15:18,492 --> 00:15:20,730
See you later.
See you later!
257
00:15:20,732 --> 00:15:22,810
So...I'm confused.
258
00:15:22,812 --> 00:15:26,570
So I'm taking Ted's...everything
and the kitchen sink
259
00:15:26,572 --> 00:15:29,530
in my car with Mia and Alyssa,
260
00:15:29,532 --> 00:15:31,370
but you're taking their backpacks
261
00:15:31,372 --> 00:15:33,210
and Flora in your Land Rover.
Right.
262
00:15:33,212 --> 00:15:34,890
Then I'll collect Flora
from you later,
263
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,090
when I've got five minutes.
264
00:15:36,092 --> 00:15:38,412
And where are the Kiwis
going to?
265
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,810
Well, I have no idea. I know they're
not staying with me,
266
00:15:41,812 --> 00:15:42,890
because I've got Ruth coming.
267
00:15:42,892 --> 00:15:44,690
I would have them,
only we've no spare bedrooms.
268
00:15:44,692 --> 00:15:46,930
So, what am I doing with
their backpacks?
269
00:15:46,932 --> 00:15:48,610
Well, I'd drop them round at
my mum and your dad's.
270
00:15:48,612 --> 00:15:50,292
That's where I'm intending to
drop them.
271
00:15:51,572 --> 00:15:54,332
Good thinking, Batman. See you
there. I'll see you somewhere.
272
00:16:07,292 --> 00:16:09,090
GIRLS GIGGLE
273
00:16:09,092 --> 00:16:10,770
PHONE RINGS
Hello!
274
00:16:10,772 --> 00:16:13,730
You know when you set off
to the airport?
275
00:16:13,732 --> 00:16:15,290
Yeah.
276
00:16:15,292 --> 00:16:17,530
As you were driving away
from the house,
277
00:16:17,532 --> 00:16:20,010
did you not look in
your rear-view mirror at all?
278
00:16:20,012 --> 00:16:22,810
Why? What for?
You didn't notice
279
00:16:22,812 --> 00:16:26,930
anything...unusual about
the barn?
280
00:16:26,932 --> 00:16:28,410
The barn?
281
00:16:28,412 --> 00:16:30,610
No. OK.
282
00:16:30,612 --> 00:16:32,330
Why?
283
00:16:32,332 --> 00:16:35,730
Just...when you come back,
284
00:16:35,732 --> 00:16:39,210
see if you can spot anything.
285
00:16:39,212 --> 00:16:40,930
See if anything catches your eye.
286
00:16:40,932 --> 00:16:43,852
Am I getting any clues?
No. No, I'll, er...
287
00:16:45,092 --> 00:16:46,850
I'll leave it with you.
288
00:16:46,852 --> 00:16:48,452
What are you on about?
289
00:16:55,612 --> 00:16:58,532
You do realise this could be worth
a lot of money, don't you?
290
00:17:01,252 --> 00:17:02,650
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
291
00:17:02,652 --> 00:17:05,450
I've no idea who they are,
them two lasses.
292
00:17:05,452 --> 00:17:08,570
They just latched on to me
in Hong Kong.
293
00:17:08,572 --> 00:17:10,372
But they're pleasant enough.
294
00:17:11,972 --> 00:17:14,450
Although one of them talks all
the time.
295
00:17:14,452 --> 00:17:16,970
HE CHUCKLES
And the other one's a bit quiet.
296
00:17:16,972 --> 00:17:18,770
But they...
297
00:17:18,772 --> 00:17:20,452
They were very helpful.
298
00:17:22,172 --> 00:17:23,530
Let's go for a pint!
299
00:17:23,532 --> 00:17:24,890
A pint? Sure!
300
00:17:24,892 --> 00:17:28,170
Shall we call the others
to come and join us?
301
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,850
No. Just you and me.
302
00:17:29,852 --> 00:17:31,890
Somewhere nice.
303
00:17:31,892 --> 00:17:33,572
Somewhere quiet.
304
00:17:34,932 --> 00:17:36,212
Sure.
305
00:17:49,732 --> 00:17:51,610
Is this near Scotland?
306
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:55,292
Well...relative to New Zealand
it is, yeah.
307
00:17:56,932 --> 00:17:58,050
What?
308
00:17:58,052 --> 00:18:01,210
You can probably get to
Edinburgh from Leeds
309
00:18:01,212 --> 00:18:02,610
in a couple of hours on a train.
310
00:18:02,612 --> 00:18:05,930
We could drop you in Leeds,
if you want, at the station.
311
00:18:05,932 --> 00:18:07,450
They haven't got their bags.
312
00:18:07,452 --> 00:18:10,690
Well, whose bloody idea was that?
313
00:18:10,692 --> 00:18:12,250
Logistics!
314
00:18:12,252 --> 00:18:14,090
You saw how full the boot was.
315
00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:15,690
Oh, we'll do here first!
316
00:18:15,692 --> 00:18:18,530
What are the top five things to
do in Yorkshire?
317
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:20,890
Like...in a cultural way.
Oh! Well...
318
00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:25,210
You know what we're world
famous for round by us?
319
00:18:25,212 --> 00:18:27,692
What? The Bronte sisters.
320
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:31,050
Are they...?
321
00:18:31,052 --> 00:18:32,490
Is that...?
322
00:18:32,492 --> 00:18:34,410
Is that, like, erm...? What is that?
323
00:18:34,412 --> 00:18:37,010
Oh, the Bronte sisters!
324
00:18:37,012 --> 00:18:39,210
You know, they wrote novels...
325
00:18:39,212 --> 00:18:43,650
..walking round a table
at the parsonage in Haworth.
326
00:18:43,652 --> 00:18:47,130
The Bronte sisters.
Charlotte and Emily and...
327
00:18:47,132 --> 00:18:48,570
..the other one.
328
00:18:48,572 --> 00:18:50,890
And Branwell.
No, he was the brother.
329
00:18:50,892 --> 00:18:53,690
Yes, I know he was the brother.
You've heard of them?
330
00:18:53,692 --> 00:18:56,330
They wrote Jane Eyre
and Wuthering Heights
331
00:18:56,332 --> 00:18:58,170
before they died.
332
00:18:58,172 --> 00:19:00,370
What else did they write?
333
00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:02,730
The Turn Of The Shrew...Screw.
334
00:19:02,732 --> 00:19:04,530
The... What is it?
335
00:19:04,532 --> 00:19:07,170
The Taming Of The...
The Tenant Of Wildfell Hall.
336
00:19:07,172 --> 00:19:09,930
No, that's that other one.
The other fella.
337
00:19:09,932 --> 00:19:11,050
What other fella?
338
00:19:11,052 --> 00:19:13,050
The Woman In White.
339
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:14,490
No, that's Wilkie Collins.
340
00:19:14,492 --> 00:19:16,250
What is?
The Woman In White.
341
00:19:16,252 --> 00:19:19,130
Well, who am I thinking
about, then? Which one?
342
00:19:19,132 --> 00:19:22,330
Which fella wrote that other
one? That other one I said.
343
00:19:22,332 --> 00:19:23,810
The Taming Of The Shrew
is Shakespeare.
344
00:19:23,812 --> 00:19:26,090
The Turn Of The Screw is
Henry...um...
345
00:19:26,092 --> 00:19:27,930
Henry...
346
00:19:27,932 --> 00:19:30,170
What's his name?
He's really famous.
347
00:19:30,172 --> 00:19:32,450
The Bostonians,
Washington Square.
348
00:19:32,452 --> 00:19:35,610
What's his...? Henry...
VIII?
349
00:19:35,612 --> 00:19:37,050
James!
350
00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:38,532
It's Henry James!
351
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,770
You can't not have
heard of the Bronte sisters,
352
00:19:42,772 --> 00:19:44,932
even in New Zealand.
353
00:20:31,652 --> 00:20:32,972
It's good, innit?
354
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,450
Oh, I dream about this.
355
00:20:47,452 --> 00:20:49,012
There you go.
356
00:20:50,052 --> 00:20:52,930
It's what gets me to sleep at
night.
357
00:20:52,932 --> 00:20:54,450
A Yorkshire pint
358
00:20:54,452 --> 00:20:55,810
in a Yorkshire pub
359
00:20:55,812 --> 00:20:57,090
on a Yorkshire hillside.
360
00:20:57,092 --> 00:20:58,372
BOTH: Cheers.
361
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:03,130
You know we've been worried
about you, don't you?
362
00:21:03,132 --> 00:21:06,170
Nadine rang.
Oh, bugger Nadine!
363
00:21:06,172 --> 00:21:08,410
She's a bloody nuisance.
Oh, is she?
364
00:21:08,412 --> 00:21:09,810
And she tells lies.
365
00:21:09,812 --> 00:21:11,250
They all do.
366
00:21:11,252 --> 00:21:12,930
She said you'd sold the house.
367
00:21:12,932 --> 00:21:15,730
What else did she tell you?
Well, just that.
368
00:21:15,732 --> 00:21:20,810
Well, that you'd, er,
fallen out with 'em all.
369
00:21:20,812 --> 00:21:22,770
She didn't say why.
370
00:21:22,772 --> 00:21:24,170
PHONE BEEPS
371
00:21:24,172 --> 00:21:26,090
Ooh.
372
00:21:26,092 --> 00:21:30,370
Oh! Well, there you go.
I've got a job! You have?
373
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:32,690
Yeah...
My interview was successful.
374
00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:34,450
Doing what?
375
00:21:34,452 --> 00:21:37,730
I've got to go on an induction
course.
376
00:21:37,732 --> 00:21:39,930
Monday morning, 9am.
377
00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:41,892
Four hours!
378
00:21:43,172 --> 00:21:46,610
Smart, comfortable clothes,
comfortable shoes.
379
00:21:46,612 --> 00:21:49,330
Um, checkout assistant
380
00:21:49,332 --> 00:21:51,050
in, um, a supermarket.
381
00:21:51,052 --> 00:21:52,930
What are you doing that for?
382
00:21:52,932 --> 00:21:56,410
Then I go straight on to a shift
in the afternoon. Hmm?
383
00:21:56,412 --> 00:21:57,812
Fun.
384
00:21:59,212 --> 00:22:00,570
We must get some champagne!
385
00:22:00,572 --> 00:22:02,930
Champagne? Yeah, I want to
stop off somewhere,
386
00:22:02,932 --> 00:22:04,690
buy some champagne to celebrate.
387
00:22:04,692 --> 00:22:06,050
My new job?
388
00:22:06,052 --> 00:22:08,370
No, not your bloody job!
389
00:22:08,372 --> 00:22:12,050
What do you need a bloody
job for at your age? No.
390
00:22:12,052 --> 00:22:13,732
Me being here!
391
00:22:15,252 --> 00:22:17,970
And, er, Bovril!
392
00:22:17,972 --> 00:22:20,530
Who?
We must get some Bovril.
393
00:22:20,532 --> 00:22:22,770
You can't get Bovril
in New Zealand.
394
00:22:22,772 --> 00:22:24,052
Oh.
395
00:22:26,532 --> 00:22:30,370
So, what did you all fall out
about?
396
00:22:30,372 --> 00:22:33,130
Oh, it's long and boring.
397
00:22:33,132 --> 00:22:34,530
I'm not going anywhere.
398
00:22:34,532 --> 00:22:36,650
Well, you know what kids are
like.
399
00:22:36,652 --> 00:22:39,050
Always looking for hand-outs,
400
00:22:39,052 --> 00:22:40,812
even when they're in their 50s.
401
00:22:42,412 --> 00:22:45,210
So I've... I've told them all,
they can...
402
00:22:45,212 --> 00:22:47,090
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
..do one.
403
00:22:47,092 --> 00:22:48,290
Oh...
404
00:22:48,292 --> 00:22:50,970
They didn't even know
you were on a plane.
405
00:22:50,972 --> 00:22:52,050
No.
406
00:22:52,052 --> 00:22:53,330
Well...
407
00:22:53,332 --> 00:22:56,372
..happen it'll make them
think. Hmm.
408
00:22:58,492 --> 00:23:01,930
You're not short of money,
are you? Me?
409
00:23:01,932 --> 00:23:06,132
HE CHUCKLES
Oh, no, no!
410
00:23:07,572 --> 00:23:09,212
I'm glad to hear it.
411
00:23:18,332 --> 00:23:21,010
CALAMITY: What is that?
412
00:23:21,012 --> 00:23:22,210
What is that?
413
00:23:22,212 --> 00:23:23,890
It's a giraffe!
414
00:23:23,892 --> 00:23:25,690
I'm screaming!
415
00:23:25,692 --> 00:23:28,290
BOTH SCREAM
She's screaming!
416
00:23:28,292 --> 00:23:30,450
We're screaming!
417
00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:33,050
GIRLS SCREAM
How did it get there?
418
00:23:33,052 --> 00:23:35,090
Has somebody done that?
What is it?
419
00:23:35,092 --> 00:23:36,612
GIRLS SCREAM
420
00:23:41,732 --> 00:23:44,370
How could you not see it
when you left?
421
00:23:44,372 --> 00:23:47,170
I...I might not always be
looking in my mirrors.
422
00:23:47,172 --> 00:23:48,650
I might be looking
in the direction of travel,
423
00:23:48,652 --> 00:23:51,770
for instance, in the traditional
manner. It's a Banksy.
424
00:23:51,772 --> 00:23:52,970
I can...
425
00:23:52,972 --> 00:23:54,452
I can see...
426
00:23:57,292 --> 00:23:59,290
How did...?
427
00:23:59,292 --> 00:24:01,130
It wasn't there yesterday.
428
00:24:01,132 --> 00:24:03,290
It definitely wasn't there
yesterday,
429
00:24:03,292 --> 00:24:05,090
because I walked down here,
430
00:24:05,092 --> 00:24:07,770
and everyone came round
last night for supper!
431
00:24:07,772 --> 00:24:11,010
They'd all have seen it.
Somebody would have seen that!
432
00:24:11,012 --> 00:24:14,290
Well, he must've done it in the
night. I mean, that's what he does!
433
00:24:14,292 --> 00:24:15,452
Like, by stealth!
434
00:24:16,732 --> 00:24:19,132
It'll be worth millions.
435
00:24:28,132 --> 00:24:30,930
You've got more room than me.
436
00:24:30,932 --> 00:24:34,010
No. I haven't. I've got one guest
bedroom, the same as you.
437
00:24:34,012 --> 00:24:35,610
You've got two, in fact.
438
00:24:35,612 --> 00:24:37,770
But Ted's in one of them!
439
00:24:37,772 --> 00:24:41,290
They can share, they're kids.
I'm sorry.
440
00:24:41,292 --> 00:24:45,050
Gillian's dropped your bags
off, girls! Thanks!
441
00:24:45,052 --> 00:24:48,730
Where are Alan and Ted? I thought
they'd be back sooner than us.
442
00:24:48,732 --> 00:24:51,770
Right...I'm off.
443
00:24:51,772 --> 00:24:54,770
You're better with younger
people than me.
444
00:24:54,772 --> 00:24:57,290
You're used to them.
You know how to talk to them!
445
00:24:57,292 --> 00:24:59,330
Yes, all week! This is my weekend.
446
00:24:59,332 --> 00:25:01,410
Yes, but... No!
447
00:25:01,412 --> 00:25:04,050
So, are we staying here,
Celia, or...?
448
00:25:04,052 --> 00:25:07,130
Well, Caroline's got more
room than me, really.
449
00:25:07,132 --> 00:25:09,650
You know, I'd be delighted
any other time,
450
00:25:09,652 --> 00:25:11,730
except I've got a guest
coming this evening
451
00:25:11,732 --> 00:25:12,970
and I still haven't started
cooking,
452
00:25:12,972 --> 00:25:15,170
then I've got to collect Flora
from...
453
00:25:15,172 --> 00:25:17,890
PHONE RINGS, SHE SIGHS
454
00:25:17,892 --> 00:25:19,610
Gillian, hello.
455
00:25:19,612 --> 00:25:21,050
Where are you? Yeah, I'm coming.
456
00:25:21,052 --> 00:25:22,370
I'm just at my mother's. Why?
457
00:25:22,372 --> 00:25:23,652
I...
458
00:25:24,612 --> 00:25:25,970
..need you.
459
00:25:25,972 --> 00:25:27,450
Oh.
460
00:25:27,452 --> 00:25:28,692
OK.
461
00:25:29,772 --> 00:25:31,012
I'll be ten minutes.
462
00:25:34,092 --> 00:25:36,690
Right! I'm off.
463
00:25:36,692 --> 00:25:38,890
Good luck!
464
00:25:38,892 --> 00:25:40,730
Have fun. I'll, erm...
465
00:25:40,732 --> 00:25:42,292
..tomorrow!
466
00:25:46,772 --> 00:25:48,212
Right.
467
00:25:50,412 --> 00:25:53,570
How long are you stopping,
by the way?
468
00:25:53,572 --> 00:25:56,650
What? Oh! Oh! Oh, yeah,
that's it.
469
00:25:56,652 --> 00:25:58,850
That's what I wanted to talk to
you about.
470
00:25:58,852 --> 00:26:00,210
I'm not going back.
471
00:26:00,212 --> 00:26:02,970
I bought a one-way ticket.
472
00:26:02,972 --> 00:26:04,330
Have you told anyone?
473
00:26:04,332 --> 00:26:06,970
Mr Buttershaw? Hello.
474
00:26:06,972 --> 00:26:08,890
I thought it was you!
475
00:26:08,892 --> 00:26:10,332
How did you get on with the lad?
476
00:26:11,372 --> 00:26:13,290
Oh, him. Yeah. Yeah.
477
00:26:13,292 --> 00:26:14,930
He ran off.
478
00:26:14,932 --> 00:26:16,890
I said he would.
I told you not to bother.
479
00:26:16,892 --> 00:26:18,410
I knocked on a door.
480
00:26:18,412 --> 00:26:19,970
He said it was where he lived.
481
00:26:19,972 --> 00:26:21,730
It wasn't. Who?
482
00:26:21,732 --> 00:26:24,210
Oh, this little kiddy.
483
00:26:24,212 --> 00:26:25,890
Shoplifting.
484
00:26:25,892 --> 00:26:27,410
The day I came for my interview.
485
00:26:27,412 --> 00:26:30,530
He's feral. Oh... No, seriously.
486
00:26:30,532 --> 00:26:32,970
Lives in a foster home up
Norland - he's supposed to -
487
00:26:32,972 --> 00:26:35,250
then he runs off,
lives in folk's sheds.
488
00:26:35,252 --> 00:26:37,250
Oh... No, I'm serious.
489
00:26:37,252 --> 00:26:39,050
They keep copping him, taking him
back and then he'll run off again.
490
00:26:39,052 --> 00:26:40,772
Good for him. It's what I'd do.
491
00:26:41,972 --> 00:26:45,850
My brother. Ted. He's just
flown in from New Zealand.
492
00:26:45,852 --> 00:26:48,170
This is David.
493
00:26:48,172 --> 00:26:49,810
He works here.
494
00:26:49,812 --> 00:26:51,170
How do?
495
00:26:51,172 --> 00:26:54,130
Well, did you get your tetanus?
496
00:26:54,132 --> 00:26:55,730
Nah. Didn't break the skin.
497
00:26:55,732 --> 00:26:58,650
Oh... I'm starting - Monday.
498
00:26:58,652 --> 00:26:59,810
Ah!
499
00:26:59,812 --> 00:27:02,890
I've got my induction day.
Well, very good.
500
00:27:02,892 --> 00:27:05,652
Well, I might be seeing you
then. Aye. Keep smiling.
501
00:27:07,132 --> 00:27:10,050
When you say you're stopping,
what do...what do you...
502
00:27:10,052 --> 00:27:11,690
Oh-ho! ..mean?
503
00:27:11,692 --> 00:27:13,210
85 quid!
HE CHUCKLES
504
00:27:13,212 --> 00:27:14,850
Must be good stuff.
505
00:27:14,852 --> 00:27:17,210
Do Nadine and the others know?
506
00:27:17,212 --> 00:27:21,650
I mean, I was born here
and I shall die here.
507
00:27:21,652 --> 00:27:24,892
I'm going to get some flowers
for Celia.
508
00:27:27,132 --> 00:27:28,252
HE SIGHS
509
00:27:30,372 --> 00:27:32,690
Look, I've said I'm sorry,
and I am sorry!
510
00:27:32,692 --> 00:27:35,130
I just thought it would be a
shame, you know,
511
00:27:35,132 --> 00:27:36,770
to waste a good black eye,
that's all.
512
00:27:36,772 --> 00:27:39,410
So what? Oh, come on,
Angus baby, I need you
513
00:27:39,412 --> 00:27:41,890
to do this thing over at Gillian's.
You'll have to give me some
514
00:27:41,892 --> 00:27:44,010
petrol money if we're going all
the way over there.
515
00:27:44,012 --> 00:27:46,092
Yeah, surely will.
516
00:27:50,772 --> 00:27:51,930
Crap.
517
00:27:51,932 --> 00:27:53,570
How much do you want?
518
00:27:53,572 --> 00:27:54,810
30.
519
00:27:54,812 --> 00:27:56,812
WATER BUBBLES
520
00:28:07,092 --> 00:28:08,692
RINGING TONE
521
00:28:11,412 --> 00:28:13,530
John! Caroline! Hi.
522
00:28:13,532 --> 00:28:14,770
Hi. How are you?
523
00:28:14,772 --> 00:28:16,930
I'm fine. How are you?
Good! Good!
524
00:28:16,932 --> 00:28:20,610
I just wanted to say thank you
for dinner again
525
00:28:20,612 --> 00:28:24,170
the other night. It was...
Well, it was delightful,
526
00:28:24,172 --> 00:28:27,050
not having seen you for so
long. What can I do for you?
527
00:28:27,052 --> 00:28:28,972
Oh, just...
528
00:28:30,572 --> 00:28:32,290
..Judith's asked me to marry her.
529
00:28:32,292 --> 00:28:33,492
Oh, shit!
530
00:28:34,812 --> 00:28:38,970
Are you going to?
Can I come over? Why? To talk.
531
00:28:38,972 --> 00:28:41,850
Not today, no,
I'm just collecting Flora,
532
00:28:41,852 --> 00:28:43,890
and then I've got someone
coming over for dinner. Who?
533
00:28:43,892 --> 00:28:46,090
No-one. It's just my head of
English.
534
00:28:46,092 --> 00:28:47,250
Is he...?
535
00:28:47,252 --> 00:28:48,770
Is he...
536
00:28:48,772 --> 00:28:50,290
..a woman?
537
00:28:50,292 --> 00:28:52,650
Yeah. Yeah, he is. A woman.
538
00:28:52,652 --> 00:28:53,972
Yup.
539
00:28:55,572 --> 00:28:57,890
I don't want to marry her.
540
00:28:57,892 --> 00:28:59,330
I don't think it's a good idea.
541
00:28:59,332 --> 00:29:01,290
No. Do you?
542
00:29:01,292 --> 00:29:03,170
No, but it's none of my
business, so there you go.
543
00:29:03,172 --> 00:29:05,010
Thing is...
544
00:29:05,012 --> 00:29:06,370
..I said yes.
545
00:29:06,372 --> 00:29:07,610
OK.
546
00:29:07,612 --> 00:29:08,730
It was...
547
00:29:08,732 --> 00:29:10,730
Well, it was awkward.
I couldn't say no.
548
00:29:10,732 --> 00:29:12,210
I should've done, but I didn't.
549
00:29:12,212 --> 00:29:14,890
And I couldn't say,
"Can I think about it?"
550
00:29:14,892 --> 00:29:16,570
because that sounds like no.
551
00:29:16,572 --> 00:29:17,852
And you see...
552
00:29:18,972 --> 00:29:20,330
..she's...
553
00:29:20,332 --> 00:29:24,890
It's her health, her mental health,
it's so delicate,
554
00:29:24,892 --> 00:29:27,890
so fragile, and I don't want her
to fall off the wagon again.
555
00:29:27,892 --> 00:29:29,450
I just...
556
00:29:29,452 --> 00:29:31,010
..don't want to marry her.
557
00:29:31,012 --> 00:29:32,530
Well, no. No. No!
558
00:29:32,532 --> 00:29:34,810
So this person you're seeing,
559
00:29:34,812 --> 00:29:36,530
this head of English,
560
00:29:36,532 --> 00:29:40,090
is she...? Is that...?
Are you...?
561
00:29:40,092 --> 00:29:41,650
Er, no. No. No, she's...
562
00:29:41,652 --> 00:29:43,370
We're just, um...
563
00:29:43,372 --> 00:29:44,730
Yeah.
564
00:29:44,732 --> 00:29:46,930
I mean, she's...she's... Yeah.
565
00:29:46,932 --> 00:29:49,730
But no. It's not... She's not...
566
00:29:49,732 --> 00:29:52,730
I wish I was still married to
you. There! I've said it.
567
00:29:52,732 --> 00:29:54,090
It's out there.
568
00:29:54,092 --> 00:29:55,570
Hmm.
569
00:29:55,572 --> 00:29:57,410
Caroline?
570
00:29:57,412 --> 00:29:59,410
Jesus Christ!
571
00:29:59,412 --> 00:30:03,010
I know! I know, I know, I get that
completely,
572
00:30:03,012 --> 00:30:06,250
but, look, I don't think you can
be completely gay
573
00:30:06,252 --> 00:30:11,090
because we had such a good life
together. We get each other.
574
00:30:11,092 --> 00:30:13,130
We're on the same wavelength.
Everyone else I know is...
575
00:30:13,132 --> 00:30:15,610
John... ..so shallow and
empty and dull...
576
00:30:15,612 --> 00:30:18,250
John! ..compared to you!
John, I'm going to have to go.
577
00:30:18,252 --> 00:30:19,490
Why? No, don't.
578
00:30:19,492 --> 00:30:22,490
I-I-I talk too much, I know.
I'm sorry. I...
579
00:30:22,492 --> 00:30:24,210
What did you just say?
580
00:30:24,212 --> 00:30:25,490
When?
581
00:30:25,492 --> 00:30:28,170
Then, just then, all that.
Sorry, I wasn't listening.
582
00:30:28,172 --> 00:30:29,530
Well, I...
583
00:30:29,532 --> 00:30:30,890
Can I ring you back?
584
00:30:30,892 --> 00:30:33,050
Yes! Yes, sure. When?
585
00:30:33,052 --> 00:30:34,690
It might not be today.
586
00:30:34,692 --> 00:30:36,132
CALL ENDS
587
00:30:39,612 --> 00:30:41,172
Well, that went well.
588
00:30:45,412 --> 00:30:46,850
Caroline's here.
589
00:30:46,852 --> 00:30:48,810
Why's your mum so weird
about the barn?
590
00:30:48,812 --> 00:30:51,970
She should be laughing her
socks off, and look at her.
591
00:30:51,972 --> 00:30:53,132
Oh...
592
00:30:54,332 --> 00:30:57,010
It's cos it's where me dad
killed himself.
593
00:30:57,012 --> 00:30:58,732
Oh, God.
594
00:31:00,172 --> 00:31:02,972
I... I didn't know
that's where it was.
595
00:31:04,572 --> 00:31:06,292
Sorry.
596
00:31:14,492 --> 00:31:16,892
Oh...
597
00:31:18,292 --> 00:31:20,290
Is it real?
598
00:31:20,292 --> 00:31:21,770
People are going to come
gawping, aren't they?
599
00:31:21,772 --> 00:31:23,290
They're going
to come poking about.
600
00:31:23,292 --> 00:31:24,970
It's going to be on
the f-f...news,
601
00:31:24,972 --> 00:31:28,010
I mean, whether it's real or
not. And what does it even mean?
602
00:31:28,012 --> 00:31:29,530
Giraffe?
603
00:31:29,532 --> 00:31:30,930
Giraffe!
604
00:31:30,932 --> 00:31:33,250
On a barn. On a farm?
605
00:31:33,252 --> 00:31:35,050
What? What?
606
00:31:35,052 --> 00:31:37,330
Oh, it'll be a metaphor.
For what?
607
00:31:37,332 --> 00:31:40,330
Well, it's something about the
industrialisation of farm animals
608
00:31:40,332 --> 00:31:42,330
or...or...in the modern world,
609
00:31:42,332 --> 00:31:45,370
or the exploitation of...
I'm organic! Nearly.
610
00:31:45,372 --> 00:31:47,930
I'm nice! My sheep are happy!
Ask them!
611
00:31:47,932 --> 00:31:49,610
I'm not exploiting anybody!
612
00:31:49,612 --> 00:31:52,290
I ought to be ringing 99 f-f...9!
613
00:31:52,292 --> 00:31:55,090
It's not personal.
It can't be, can it? It's just...
614
00:31:55,092 --> 00:31:56,852
Yeah, well, do some research!
615
00:31:58,132 --> 00:32:01,132
This is vandalism!
Fucking painters!
616
00:32:02,572 --> 00:32:05,730
Well, David Hockney will be
at it next. Gauguin, one o' them.
617
00:32:05,732 --> 00:32:07,610
Cannelloni!
He can come and have a go.
618
00:32:07,612 --> 00:32:08,930
Canaletto.
619
00:32:08,932 --> 00:32:10,690
Any of 'em. Twats.
620
00:32:10,692 --> 00:32:13,290
They need to leave people alone.
621
00:32:13,292 --> 00:32:14,770
Look, it's not... It's not, um...
622
00:32:14,772 --> 00:32:16,850
I hate that barn! I know.
623
00:32:16,852 --> 00:32:18,970
It's alive - that barn
has a mind of its own.
624
00:32:18,972 --> 00:32:21,770
I've told you before. No.
It doesn't, Gillian. He's in there.
625
00:32:21,772 --> 00:32:23,810
Eddie, not Banksy.
626
00:32:23,812 --> 00:32:26,770
He's in there.
Look, this could be a blessing.
627
00:32:26,772 --> 00:32:29,810
I know it's weird, but it could be
worth a lot of money.
628
00:32:29,812 --> 00:32:31,970
This could pay for your woodworm
and your roof timbers.
629
00:32:31,972 --> 00:32:34,530
Nothing good will ever come
out of that barn, Caroline.
630
00:32:34,532 --> 00:32:37,092
Oh, you don't know that.
This could be a turning point.
631
00:32:40,052 --> 00:32:41,810
Listen, I can't stay,
I've got to start cooking.
632
00:32:41,812 --> 00:32:44,650
Oh, God, you've got
your girlfriend coming.
633
00:32:44,652 --> 00:32:46,410
You've got to calm down.
I know it stirs things up,
634
00:32:46,412 --> 00:32:48,810
I know it does your head in,
but...
635
00:32:48,812 --> 00:32:50,250
..she's not my girlfriend.
636
00:32:50,252 --> 00:32:53,090
Flora! Come on!
637
00:32:53,092 --> 00:32:54,890
Bye. See you tomorrow!
638
00:32:54,892 --> 00:32:57,570
I'm at the end of the phone.
OK? Yeah. Yeah.
639
00:32:57,572 --> 00:32:58,692
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
640
00:33:01,332 --> 00:33:02,810
How did they get up there?
641
00:33:02,812 --> 00:33:06,452
Bye. See you, Auntie Gillian.
Yeah.
642
00:33:09,252 --> 00:33:11,212
Yo.
643
00:33:13,612 --> 00:33:16,290
Lawrence! Is your m...?
Hi, Angus.
644
00:33:16,292 --> 00:33:17,450
Is your mother see...?
645
00:33:17,452 --> 00:33:19,050
Ooh, Popular!
Can you lend me 30 squids?
646
00:33:19,052 --> 00:33:20,810
No, sorry. It's for petrol, please.
647
00:33:20,812 --> 00:33:22,932
Not got any cash on me, sorry.
648
00:33:25,372 --> 00:33:27,530
Sorry, just out of interest,
649
00:33:27,532 --> 00:33:29,210
is your mother seeing someone?
650
00:33:29,212 --> 00:33:30,732
No. Not that I know of.
651
00:33:31,932 --> 00:33:33,492
And anyway, what if she was?
652
00:33:46,092 --> 00:33:47,852
TV ON
653
00:33:49,412 --> 00:33:51,330
HE SNORES
654
00:33:51,332 --> 00:33:54,370
I was beginning to wonder
where the hell you'd got to!
655
00:33:54,372 --> 00:33:57,050
Well, yeah, he wanted a pint,
656
00:33:57,052 --> 00:33:58,930
and some Bovril, so...
HE CHUCKLES
657
00:33:58,932 --> 00:34:01,090
You have got a mobile phone.
658
00:34:01,092 --> 00:34:03,490
Yes. I never think.
659
00:34:03,492 --> 00:34:06,212
Have you learnt anything?
Hmm? Cos I have.
660
00:34:07,332 --> 00:34:09,410
They're nurses, them two.
661
00:34:09,412 --> 00:34:11,290
So, not as daft as they look.
662
00:34:11,292 --> 00:34:13,570
Nurses? On holiday.
663
00:34:13,572 --> 00:34:15,612
They've taken three months
off to travel.
664
00:34:16,812 --> 00:34:19,690
And they did just bump into
him in Hong Kong,
665
00:34:19,692 --> 00:34:22,450
but then they were having
to look after him.
666
00:34:22,452 --> 00:34:24,610
They reckon he'd been in a pickle
667
00:34:24,612 --> 00:34:27,130
trying to fathom Hong Kong on his
own.
668
00:34:27,132 --> 00:34:30,450
Anyway, I've said
they can stop a few nights,
669
00:34:30,452 --> 00:34:33,210
because they've obviously
been very kind to him.
670
00:34:33,212 --> 00:34:37,210
But that's it. Then we've got Martin
starting on the kitchen next week.
671
00:34:37,212 --> 00:34:39,650
And I can't be doing
with a houseful.
672
00:34:39,652 --> 00:34:42,450
Well, he says
he's not going back. Eh?
673
00:34:42,452 --> 00:34:45,850
Yeah, he says he's stopping.
Where? Here. Here?
674
00:34:45,852 --> 00:34:48,570
Well, I assume he's going to
buy himself a little house.
675
00:34:48,572 --> 00:34:51,890
If it's going to be
a permanent arrangement.
676
00:34:51,892 --> 00:34:53,170
I mean, he can't be short,
677
00:34:53,172 --> 00:34:56,530
spending �85 on a bottle of
champagne.
678
00:34:56,532 --> 00:34:58,490
And where is he going to be
stopping
679
00:34:58,492 --> 00:35:01,850
until he buys this little
house? Here?
680
00:35:01,852 --> 00:35:05,970
He sounds as if he's fallen out
with Nadine and everybody,
681
00:35:05,972 --> 00:35:09,330
cos they were tapping money off
him - trying to -
682
00:35:09,332 --> 00:35:10,930
after he'd sold his house.
683
00:35:10,932 --> 00:35:12,930
Well, where was he living
after he sold his house?
684
00:35:12,932 --> 00:35:13,970
With her.
685
00:35:13,972 --> 00:35:16,290
For a bit. Then I think he went
to their Simon
686
00:35:16,292 --> 00:35:19,250
for a month or two,
and then to one of the others.
687
00:35:19,252 --> 00:35:21,330
And then he rented a little flat.
688
00:35:21,332 --> 00:35:24,892
Rented? Why didn't he buy a
house there? I don't know.
689
00:35:26,132 --> 00:35:32,210
He'll not want to be stopping here
for any length of time, surely.
690
00:35:32,212 --> 00:35:34,372
He's been over there too long,
surely.
691
00:35:35,412 --> 00:35:38,010
I mean, his life's there,
not here.
692
00:35:38,012 --> 00:35:39,490
He seems quite adamant.
693
00:35:39,492 --> 00:35:42,970
He'll be thinking
that the grass is greener.
694
00:35:42,972 --> 00:35:45,490
Well, I think he'll be
disillusioned.
695
00:35:45,492 --> 00:35:48,852
He's brought Alice's ashes
back with him.
696
00:35:50,212 --> 00:35:53,652
Cor, she's been dead ten years.
697
00:35:54,692 --> 00:35:57,050
Has he not scattered 'em
before now?
698
00:35:57,052 --> 00:36:00,010
He says she always wanted to come
back here, so he's brought her.
699
00:36:00,012 --> 00:36:03,530
He says he was born here,
and he'll die here.
700
00:36:03,532 --> 00:36:06,370
And then he wants him and
her to be buried together -
701
00:36:06,372 --> 00:36:09,410
their remains - up Blackley
702
00:36:09,412 --> 00:36:11,890
with me mum and dad,
and her mum and dad,
703
00:36:11,892 --> 00:36:13,852
and her sister.
704
00:36:15,812 --> 00:36:18,130
Oh, and, erm...
705
00:36:18,132 --> 00:36:19,610
What?
706
00:36:19,612 --> 00:36:22,452
I know it's a sensitive subject.
707
00:36:24,132 --> 00:36:25,492
But I've been offered that job.
708
00:36:26,532 --> 00:36:28,092
I start on Monday.
709
00:36:29,812 --> 00:36:32,052
I'm saying nothing.
710
00:36:33,372 --> 00:36:34,812
CUTLERY RATTLES
711
00:36:40,212 --> 00:36:43,492
KNOCK ON DOOR, DOG BARKS
712
00:36:47,052 --> 00:36:49,970
Ooh! It's the Mothership. I didn't
know you were coming!
713
00:36:49,972 --> 00:36:52,330
Yeah, cos I didn't ring an' tell
you, that's why.
714
00:36:52,332 --> 00:36:53,970
Love, light and peace.
715
00:36:53,972 --> 00:36:56,692
What's the matter with your
eye? Erm...
716
00:36:57,972 --> 00:36:59,450
We were drunk.
717
00:36:59,452 --> 00:37:01,610
Mm. Right, well, I've got someone
718
00:37:01,612 --> 00:37:03,130
coming round for dinner.
Smells good.
719
00:37:03,132 --> 00:37:04,690
Yeah, but the thing is, they'll be
here any minute, so...
720
00:37:04,692 --> 00:37:06,290
Oh, don't worry.
We're off over to Gillian's.
721
00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:07,410
We've got all the camping stuff.
722
00:37:07,412 --> 00:37:08,730
Just thought we'd come and say
howdy.
723
00:37:08,732 --> 00:37:11,690
Oh, well, that's very nice.
And can you lend me 30 quid?
724
00:37:11,692 --> 00:37:15,770
No, I can't. I've got no cash on
me. You people are useless.
725
00:37:15,772 --> 00:37:19,130
Hey! Hey, it's the little weirdo
from the planet Zog.
726
00:37:19,132 --> 00:37:22,850
Have you come to read to me? No.
Aw. I like it when you read to me.
727
00:37:22,852 --> 00:37:25,770
It's funnier than when
Mummy does it. Ah!
728
00:37:25,772 --> 00:37:27,130
Er, Ruth's here.
729
00:37:27,132 --> 00:37:30,970
What's he done to his face?
So, Ruth's here now.
730
00:37:30,972 --> 00:37:32,890
So, Angus got in a fight
with an orangutan.
731
00:37:32,892 --> 00:37:36,170
He didn't! Gillian's got a
giraffe! A what?
732
00:37:36,172 --> 00:37:37,972
A real one? Has she?
733
00:37:43,252 --> 00:37:44,490
Hi! Hi!
734
00:37:44,492 --> 00:37:45,850
Come in!
735
00:37:45,852 --> 00:37:47,410
Hi. Hi.
736
00:37:47,412 --> 00:37:48,690
Bye.
737
00:37:48,692 --> 00:37:50,772
Oh, sure.
738
00:37:52,932 --> 00:37:55,250
So this is Lawrence,
my, erm, my...
739
00:37:55,252 --> 00:37:58,210
Well, he was my youngest
until Flora came along.
740
00:37:58,212 --> 00:38:00,250
And then I've got another one
in London. That's William.
741
00:38:00,252 --> 00:38:02,210
He works for a publisher,
he's 24.
742
00:38:02,212 --> 00:38:04,850
Nice.
Judith's publisher, in fact.
743
00:38:04,852 --> 00:38:06,210
And this is Ruth.
744
00:38:06,212 --> 00:38:09,052
And this is Angus. He's...
745
00:38:10,612 --> 00:38:11,650
..got a black eye.
746
00:38:11,652 --> 00:38:13,612
And now they're off camping!
747
00:38:15,492 --> 00:38:18,010
See ya, boss.
748
00:38:18,012 --> 00:38:19,290
Bye.
749
00:38:19,292 --> 00:38:20,650
Bye, Mum. Bye.
750
00:38:20,652 --> 00:38:22,130
Bye. Bye, weirdo.
751
00:38:22,132 --> 00:38:23,330
Can I come?
752
00:38:23,332 --> 00:38:25,250
No. A real giraffe?
753
00:38:25,252 --> 00:38:27,810
No, you'll see when you get
there. Have fun!
754
00:38:27,812 --> 00:38:29,370
And don't irritate Gillian!
755
00:38:29,372 --> 00:38:32,532
She's...not very happy about
the giraffe.
756
00:38:33,572 --> 00:38:35,890
Seriously, someone has a real...?
No, no, no, it's...
757
00:38:35,892 --> 00:38:38,770
Actually, it's probably
not a Banksy.
758
00:38:38,772 --> 00:38:41,810
It's a painting, a mural that's
appeared on her barn wall.
759
00:38:41,812 --> 00:38:42,890
Wow.
760
00:38:42,892 --> 00:38:44,650
Won't be a real one. OK.
761
00:38:44,652 --> 00:38:47,092
Although it does look like one.
762
00:38:49,852 --> 00:38:51,170
These are for you.
763
00:38:51,172 --> 00:38:53,010
Ah.
764
00:38:53,012 --> 00:38:54,772
Thank you. Pleasure.
765
00:38:56,052 --> 00:38:57,812
So this is Flora?
766
00:38:58,932 --> 00:39:01,330
DOG WHIMPERS
But who's this?
767
00:39:01,332 --> 00:39:03,690
Ah, so that's...
768
00:39:03,692 --> 00:39:06,090
Ruth. Yes, that's...
769
00:39:06,092 --> 00:39:08,650
The dog's called Ruth, Ruth.
770
00:39:08,652 --> 00:39:09,890
Ruth?
771
00:39:09,892 --> 00:39:11,650
Sorry, I can explain.
772
00:39:11,652 --> 00:39:13,530
No.
773
00:39:13,532 --> 00:39:15,130
Erm...
774
00:39:15,132 --> 00:39:18,250
Listen, is it all right
if I leave my car here tonight
775
00:39:18,252 --> 00:39:22,332
and get a taxi home and then come
and pick it up tomorrow morning?
776
00:39:23,572 --> 00:39:25,570
It's just then I can have
a couple of glasses of wine
777
00:39:25,572 --> 00:39:27,570
and not worry about it.
778
00:39:27,572 --> 00:39:30,490
Er, yeah, course!
779
00:39:30,492 --> 00:39:33,452
You can stay over, if you like.
We've, erm...
780
00:39:35,132 --> 00:39:37,332
..plenty of room.
781
00:39:48,172 --> 00:39:53,450
Mm. Laura looked up
some wedding venues online.
782
00:39:53,452 --> 00:39:55,810
I mean, we could really go for
it if we wanted to.
783
00:39:55,812 --> 00:39:58,212
We could really push
the boat out.
784
00:39:59,412 --> 00:40:02,010
But I don't know that I wouldn't
like to just get married
785
00:40:02,012 --> 00:40:07,690
in some charmless, nondescript,
threadbare little registry office.
786
00:40:07,692 --> 00:40:08,732
Yes...
787
00:40:10,092 --> 00:40:11,850
Yes. Sure.
788
00:40:11,852 --> 00:40:13,370
Sure.
789
00:40:13,372 --> 00:40:17,930
It isn't like we've got millions of
people to invite, is it?
790
00:40:17,932 --> 00:40:19,372
PHONE BEEPS
791
00:40:25,692 --> 00:40:27,050
What's that?
792
00:40:27,052 --> 00:40:28,092
Oh.
793
00:40:29,172 --> 00:40:30,332
Lawrence.
794
00:40:32,572 --> 00:40:36,730
I just think something small
and discreet
795
00:40:36,732 --> 00:40:38,772
and a bit shit is just...
796
00:40:39,812 --> 00:40:41,330
..more us.
797
00:40:41,332 --> 00:40:42,612
Don't you?
798
00:40:44,532 --> 00:40:45,572
Yeah.
799
00:40:48,932 --> 00:40:53,250
And this is LAADS riding through the
West Riding of Yorkshire,
800
00:40:53,252 --> 00:40:55,570
trying to find Granny's
little gaff.
801
00:40:55,572 --> 00:40:57,130
And what does Riding mean, Angus?
802
00:40:57,132 --> 00:40:59,290
Will you get that out of my
face when I'm concentrating?
803
00:40:59,292 --> 00:41:00,690
Can you drive properly?
804
00:41:00,692 --> 00:41:01,810
This is properly.
805
00:41:01,812 --> 00:41:03,930
Yeah, I need smooth. Whoa!
806
00:41:03,932 --> 00:41:06,810
You nearly went into the
signpost, you fuckin' idiot!
807
00:41:06,812 --> 00:41:08,370
Well, stop being a tit.
808
00:41:08,372 --> 00:41:10,330
You're a tit. You're a tit.
809
00:41:10,332 --> 00:41:12,290
Which one is it?
Which one is what?
810
00:41:12,292 --> 00:41:14,210
House! Which house?
I don't know. It's the one
811
00:41:14,212 --> 00:41:15,370
with their car on the drive,
812
00:41:15,372 --> 00:41:17,610
I guess. Tell everyone
what Riding means, Angus.
813
00:41:17,612 --> 00:41:19,970
A third. It means a third.
814
00:41:19,972 --> 00:41:21,810
North, East, West.
815
00:41:21,812 --> 00:41:23,532
No South.
816
00:41:24,652 --> 00:41:25,850
Can you do it like you care?
817
00:41:25,852 --> 00:41:27,730
I don't care. It's not funny.
818
00:41:27,732 --> 00:41:28,850
Well, make it funny!
819
00:41:28,852 --> 00:41:30,770
It's not funny, it's not
interesting.
820
00:41:30,772 --> 00:41:32,570
West Riding.
821
00:41:32,572 --> 00:41:36,410
The West Riding of Yorkshire.
Oooh, it's this one!
822
00:41:36,412 --> 00:41:37,570
TYRES SQUEAL
823
00:41:37,572 --> 00:41:39,972
Mind the Lexus!
824
00:41:43,092 --> 00:41:44,890
Did you get that,
did you film that?
825
00:41:44,892 --> 00:41:46,412
That was good.
826
00:41:47,772 --> 00:41:49,092
Piss.
827
00:41:51,532 --> 00:41:54,410
CELIA: �30? Course you can,
chicken.
828
00:41:54,412 --> 00:41:56,012
Where have I put my purse?
829
00:42:01,292 --> 00:42:02,930
Well, where are you going
camping, lads?
830
00:42:02,932 --> 00:42:03,970
BOTH: Gillian's.
831
00:42:03,972 --> 00:42:05,012
Ah!
832
00:42:06,132 --> 00:42:07,970
There we are. Is that enough?
833
00:42:07,972 --> 00:42:09,690
Would you like a bit more?
No, Gran.
834
00:42:09,692 --> 00:42:13,932
No, go on, then, just....
How big's your tint?
835
00:42:17,932 --> 00:42:21,690
Oh, our tent! Our tent is,
erm...
836
00:42:21,692 --> 00:42:22,890
Big.
837
00:42:22,892 --> 00:42:24,852
It's big.
838
00:42:31,612 --> 00:42:35,090
My stars! Look at that!
What?
839
00:42:35,092 --> 00:42:36,250
Is that a what's-it?
840
00:42:36,252 --> 00:42:38,370
A what?
A thingy! That bloke.
841
00:42:38,372 --> 00:42:40,690
Oh, my God! What? What are you
looking at?
842
00:42:40,692 --> 00:42:42,930
Holy mole shit! This is one for
Instagram.
843
00:42:42,932 --> 00:42:43,970
BRAKES ENGAGE
844
00:42:43,972 --> 00:42:46,730
MIA AND ALYSSA SCREAM
Eyes on the road!
845
00:42:46,732 --> 00:42:48,290
MIA AND ALYSSA LAUGH
CAMERA CLICKS
846
00:42:48,292 --> 00:42:50,450
And they were both 75?
847
00:42:50,452 --> 00:42:52,930
They hadn't seen each other
for nearly 60 years.
848
00:42:52,932 --> 00:42:55,130
It was very romantic.
849
00:42:55,132 --> 00:42:57,050
Oh, there's hope for us all.
850
00:42:57,052 --> 00:42:58,730
Except the reality,
851
00:42:58,732 --> 00:43:00,450
when you haven't seen
anyone for that long,
852
00:43:00,452 --> 00:43:03,290
is that you don't really know
them. And what's become apparent
853
00:43:03,292 --> 00:43:04,690
is that they have very different
854
00:43:04,692 --> 00:43:07,170
views on things
sometimes and...
855
00:43:07,172 --> 00:43:08,850
Oh, I don't know.
856
00:43:08,852 --> 00:43:11,970
It was kind of funny to start
with, him with his Guardian
857
00:43:11,972 --> 00:43:14,210
and her with her Daily Mail.
858
00:43:14,212 --> 00:43:15,970
Can I...?
859
00:43:15,972 --> 00:43:17,490
Oh, sure, I'll get another one.
860
00:43:17,492 --> 00:43:19,410
It's like this morning.
861
00:43:19,412 --> 00:43:22,290
So my mother is worried
that he's fed up with her.
862
00:43:22,292 --> 00:43:26,130
And I'm all,
"Oh, Alan? Surely not!"
863
00:43:26,132 --> 00:43:29,850
Because we've all bought into
how marvellous it all is
864
00:43:29,852 --> 00:43:32,450
that two elderly people can fall in
love again after all this time,
865
00:43:32,452 --> 00:43:35,492
and yet the reality, seven
years on, is that...
866
00:43:36,692 --> 00:43:38,410
Well, for instance,
867
00:43:38,412 --> 00:43:40,170
he can't understand why anyone
868
00:43:40,172 --> 00:43:42,730
would want to spend �20,000 on
a new kitchen.
869
00:43:42,732 --> 00:43:44,250
And she can't understand
870
00:43:44,252 --> 00:43:47,970
why anyone would want to
spend anything less.
871
00:43:47,972 --> 00:43:50,370
Would you like to sit somewhere
more comfortable?
872
00:43:50,372 --> 00:43:51,652
Sure.
873
00:43:52,692 --> 00:43:55,330
But he goes along with it,
kind of because he has to,
874
00:43:55,332 --> 00:43:57,610
because - let's not mince words -
875
00:43:57,612 --> 00:44:01,170
she is a force to be reckoned
with, my mother.
876
00:44:01,172 --> 00:44:03,130
But sometimes I look at him,
877
00:44:03,132 --> 00:44:05,010
and he just looks...
878
00:44:05,012 --> 00:44:06,810
..bewildered
879
00:44:06,812 --> 00:44:09,090
and, erm...
880
00:44:09,092 --> 00:44:10,850
Oh, I don't know.
881
00:44:10,852 --> 00:44:13,172
Maybe sometimes he is fed
up of her.
882
00:44:19,852 --> 00:44:21,810
It'll be jet lag.
883
00:44:21,812 --> 00:44:23,850
Don't you think we should
wake him up
884
00:44:23,852 --> 00:44:25,370
so he can get into bed?
885
00:44:25,372 --> 00:44:27,730
I don't know -
he looks very comfortable.
886
00:44:27,732 --> 00:44:29,370
Does he know where his
bedroom is?
887
00:44:29,372 --> 00:44:31,410
Well, I showed him. Earlier.
888
00:44:31,412 --> 00:44:34,370
I don't want him waking in the
night, wondering where he is.
889
00:44:34,372 --> 00:44:36,170
Especially if he needs the
bathroom.
890
00:44:36,172 --> 00:44:39,050
Does he know where the bathroom is?
Yes. He went.
891
00:44:39,052 --> 00:44:41,490
When you both finally
decided to show up.
892
00:44:41,492 --> 00:44:44,812
I've explained why we were late.
893
00:44:47,252 --> 00:44:49,850
Give him a nudge.
894
00:44:49,852 --> 00:44:52,330
Ted? Mm?
895
00:44:52,332 --> 00:44:54,370
Ted?
896
00:44:54,372 --> 00:44:56,690
Ted! Oh, leave him.
897
00:44:56,692 --> 00:44:59,132
Let's leave the side light on.
He'll be all right.
898
00:45:00,572 --> 00:45:03,610
I wonder where Alice's ashes are.
Well, they'll be somewhere.
899
00:45:03,612 --> 00:45:05,090
No shit, Sherlock.
900
00:45:05,092 --> 00:45:08,370
Well, I imagine
they're in one of his suitcases.
901
00:45:08,372 --> 00:45:10,650
Should we get her out,
do you think?
902
00:45:10,652 --> 00:45:12,850
Put her somewhere...
More dignified?
903
00:45:12,852 --> 00:45:14,210
Less cramped.
904
00:45:14,212 --> 00:45:18,170
I don't know, I don't want
to be going through his stuff.
905
00:45:18,172 --> 00:45:20,850
Here, shall I put this blanket
over him?
906
00:45:20,852 --> 00:45:21,972
You can do.
907
00:45:23,612 --> 00:45:25,570
Eh, Ted.
908
00:45:25,572 --> 00:45:27,852
What have you been up to
this time, old lad?
909
00:45:33,412 --> 00:45:34,812
Are you all right?
910
00:45:36,612 --> 00:45:37,970
Alan?
911
00:45:37,972 --> 00:45:39,212
Yeah.
912
00:45:40,772 --> 00:45:43,090
Just remembering things.
913
00:45:43,092 --> 00:45:44,852
What things?
914
00:45:47,372 --> 00:45:49,012
Shall we get into bed?
915
00:45:53,492 --> 00:45:54,732
Hmm.
916
00:45:56,612 --> 00:46:00,292
He never wanted to go
to New Zealand in first place.
917
00:46:01,292 --> 00:46:04,130
It were my mother and dad...
made him go.
918
00:46:04,132 --> 00:46:05,730
Why?
919
00:46:05,732 --> 00:46:08,210
Well, she was pregnant. Alice.
920
00:46:08,212 --> 00:46:11,370
They'd only been together
five minutes.
921
00:46:11,372 --> 00:46:13,410
My mother and dad were livid.
922
00:46:13,412 --> 00:46:14,772
And her mother and dad!
923
00:46:15,852 --> 00:46:18,690
They wouldn't speak to her. They
wouldn't have her in the house.
924
00:46:18,692 --> 00:46:20,290
You're joking.
925
00:46:20,292 --> 00:46:24,210
Well, they thought
they were a bit of summat...
926
00:46:24,212 --> 00:46:25,530
..up at church.
927
00:46:25,532 --> 00:46:27,690
So...
928
00:46:27,692 --> 00:46:29,290
Oh, hell.
929
00:46:29,292 --> 00:46:34,970
I remember me dad and Ted
having a fight.
930
00:46:34,972 --> 00:46:39,052
A proper set-to -
shouting, me mother crying...
931
00:46:40,132 --> 00:46:44,170
It was when the government were
advertising for people to emigrate.
932
00:46:44,172 --> 00:46:46,850
They were desperate for people
to go over and build houses
933
00:46:46,852 --> 00:46:50,690
and dams and roads
and all sorts.
934
00:46:50,692 --> 00:46:55,290
There were a lot of incentives for
anybody that was short of work.
935
00:46:55,292 --> 00:46:56,330
I remember.
936
00:46:56,332 --> 00:46:57,810
Or...
937
00:46:57,812 --> 00:47:00,250
..needed to get away.
938
00:47:00,252 --> 00:47:02,092
So they got wed and off they went.
939
00:47:03,292 --> 00:47:04,610
They made the most of it,
940
00:47:04,612 --> 00:47:07,050
but he'd not have gone
through choice.
941
00:47:07,052 --> 00:47:10,850
And I think he felt
like they'd been banished.
942
00:47:10,852 --> 00:47:12,450
And it wasn't fair.
943
00:47:12,452 --> 00:47:15,410
They thought the world of
each other,
944
00:47:15,412 --> 00:47:18,130
and they shouldn't have been
made to feel like that.
945
00:47:18,132 --> 00:47:19,730
I never realised.
946
00:47:19,732 --> 00:47:22,650
When we visited him,
he's never said anything.
947
00:47:22,652 --> 00:47:26,330
Well, like I say,
I kind of forgot about it myself.
948
00:47:26,332 --> 00:47:30,450
But you get on with life, don't
you? Put a different spin on it,
949
00:47:30,452 --> 00:47:32,530
for your own sake.
950
00:47:32,532 --> 00:47:36,530
And then that becomes the truth.
951
00:47:36,532 --> 00:47:42,730
But it was when he said that he'd
brought her ashes with him...
952
00:47:42,732 --> 00:47:45,210
..it all came back to me.
953
00:47:45,212 --> 00:47:46,530
And it saddened me,
954
00:47:46,532 --> 00:47:49,970
the idea that all this time
955
00:47:49,972 --> 00:47:53,812
they never stopped wanting to
come back. And now they have.
956
00:47:55,132 --> 00:47:56,530
Only it's too late.
957
00:47:56,532 --> 00:47:58,012
She's dead, and he's...
958
00:48:01,412 --> 00:48:05,090
I do think he is losing it a bit.
959
00:48:05,092 --> 00:48:08,330
Oh, Alan.
I'll have to help him.
960
00:48:08,332 --> 00:48:10,772
Shan't I? Whatever's gone on.
961
00:48:12,652 --> 00:48:15,212
He's the only brother
I'll ever have.
962
00:48:18,092 --> 00:48:19,292
HE SIGHS
963
00:48:23,132 --> 00:48:24,332
No way!
964
00:48:25,932 --> 00:48:27,610
Yes! No...
965
00:48:27,612 --> 00:48:28,810
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
966
00:48:28,812 --> 00:48:32,210
So I could say, "Judith,
967
00:48:32,212 --> 00:48:36,410
"tell us about the time you trashed
Caroline's kitchen
968
00:48:36,412 --> 00:48:39,490
"and then puked up behind
the stairs"?
969
00:48:39,492 --> 00:48:41,410
Yes, you could!
970
00:48:41,412 --> 00:48:43,050
SHE SIGHS
971
00:48:43,052 --> 00:48:45,610
It's possibly not a suitable
anecdote
972
00:48:45,612 --> 00:48:48,210
for her adoring
adolescent acolytes,
973
00:48:48,212 --> 00:48:51,290
but, wahey, who cares?
974
00:48:51,292 --> 00:48:54,690
Oh, God, and then the first
time I met her.
975
00:48:54,692 --> 00:48:57,210
Well, she fell over -
976
00:48:57,212 --> 00:49:00,970
she was pissed - on some glass, and
she slit an artery in her wrist,
977
00:49:00,972 --> 00:49:04,090
and I ended up in casualty with her.
And it was my birthday!
978
00:49:04,092 --> 00:49:05,690
And it was her glass!
979
00:49:05,692 --> 00:49:09,130
It was her bottle of wine
that she'd dropped!
980
00:49:09,132 --> 00:49:11,250
Oh, dear.
981
00:49:11,252 --> 00:49:13,612
Oh, she's a pisshead.
982
00:49:20,252 --> 00:49:23,650
I am glad you're telling me this.
983
00:49:23,652 --> 00:49:26,372
Cos it's making me realise
that she's just...
984
00:49:27,732 --> 00:49:29,690
..a bit rubbish.
985
00:49:29,692 --> 00:49:30,930
Like the rest of us.
986
00:49:30,932 --> 00:49:32,770
Yes, well...
987
00:49:32,772 --> 00:49:34,412
Yeah, she is.
988
00:49:35,892 --> 00:49:40,092
It'll mean I'm not mumbling
incoherently when I interview her.
989
00:49:41,452 --> 00:49:44,410
Right... How far have we got?
990
00:49:44,412 --> 00:49:50,210
Oh, fuck, I can't focus any
more. I'm too pissed.
991
00:49:50,212 --> 00:49:53,610
Well, we can... We'll pick it up
in the morning. It's fine.
992
00:49:53,612 --> 00:49:55,690
You'll be fine,
you've got loads.
993
00:49:55,692 --> 00:49:56,892
God.
994
00:49:58,412 --> 00:49:59,612
BOTH SIGH
995
00:50:02,172 --> 00:50:03,252
Are you all right?
996
00:50:04,732 --> 00:50:05,850
Yeah.
997
00:50:05,852 --> 00:50:07,290
SHE CHUCKLES
998
00:50:07,292 --> 00:50:11,132
Oh, God, it is just so nice...
999
00:50:12,172 --> 00:50:14,372
..not being in that house
with him.
1000
00:50:19,492 --> 00:50:21,010
Is it?
1001
00:50:21,012 --> 00:50:22,410
Yeah.
1002
00:50:22,412 --> 00:50:23,452
Mm.
1003
00:50:24,772 --> 00:50:26,452
Wow.
1004
00:50:33,612 --> 00:50:35,050
I'm going to be nosey.
1005
00:50:35,052 --> 00:50:36,450
Mm?
1006
00:50:36,452 --> 00:50:39,970
How does Flora fit into...?
1007
00:50:39,972 --> 00:50:42,892
Because she's not John's.
1008
00:50:47,572 --> 00:50:49,930
No. Oh, God, no.
1009
00:50:49,932 --> 00:50:52,570
So you had a fling with...?
1010
00:50:52,572 --> 00:50:55,370
Well, no. No, I didn't.
1011
00:50:55,372 --> 00:50:57,450
Erm... No. Flora's, erm...
1012
00:50:57,452 --> 00:50:59,130
Well, I kind of did.
1013
00:50:59,132 --> 00:51:02,252
So after John went off with
her, I, erm...
1014
00:51:03,852 --> 00:51:05,092
SHE SIGHS
1015
00:51:06,852 --> 00:51:08,410
I got married again.
1016
00:51:08,412 --> 00:51:09,730
OK.
1017
00:51:09,732 --> 00:51:11,132
To who?
1018
00:51:13,012 --> 00:51:15,210
To Kate.
1019
00:51:15,212 --> 00:51:16,492
And, er...
1020
00:51:17,732 --> 00:51:19,372
That's Kate.
1021
00:51:20,972 --> 00:51:22,172
There.
1022
00:51:27,132 --> 00:51:28,410
And...
1023
00:51:28,412 --> 00:51:31,572
..Kate wanted a baby, so...
1024
00:51:34,132 --> 00:51:36,732
We got pregnant.
Well, she did.
1025
00:51:37,732 --> 00:51:39,812
And then she was knocked
down...
1026
00:51:40,932 --> 00:51:42,332
..and killed.
1027
00:51:43,372 --> 00:51:45,010
She was pregnant -
eight and a half months.
1028
00:51:45,012 --> 00:51:47,810
They managed to save Flora,
but not her.
1029
00:51:47,812 --> 00:51:50,852
It happened the day after we
got married.
1030
00:51:51,972 --> 00:51:54,450
We got married on the Saturday.
That happened on the Sunday.
1031
00:51:54,452 --> 00:51:56,330
No...
1032
00:51:56,332 --> 00:51:57,812
Five years ago.
1033
00:52:00,652 --> 00:52:01,732
So you're...?
1034
00:52:04,372 --> 00:52:06,332
I didn't realise that you were...
1035
00:52:08,252 --> 00:52:09,890
Bereaved?
1036
00:52:09,892 --> 00:52:11,132
Gay.
1037
00:52:13,172 --> 00:52:14,252
Oh.
1038
00:52:16,772 --> 00:52:18,452
Oh, well, no!
1039
00:52:20,372 --> 00:52:22,772
Neither did I, but, er...
Well, I did.
1040
00:52:24,532 --> 00:52:27,332
I didn't advertise it,
particularly, but I've never...
1041
00:52:28,772 --> 00:52:31,850
..hidden it either. If I was with
someone, it would be more obvious,
1042
00:52:31,852 --> 00:52:34,010
but I'm not now, so...
1043
00:52:34,012 --> 00:52:35,132
Sorry, I thought you...
1044
00:52:36,212 --> 00:52:37,252
..did know.
1045
00:52:38,532 --> 00:52:40,332
Wow. Gosh.
1046
00:52:42,732 --> 00:52:46,172
That is a tragic thing
to have happened.
1047
00:52:48,132 --> 00:52:49,532
Mm.
1048
00:52:53,932 --> 00:52:55,172
I'm sorry.
1049
00:52:56,772 --> 00:52:59,372
Listen, I'm not feeling too good.
1050
00:53:00,932 --> 00:53:02,132
OK.
1051
00:53:03,332 --> 00:53:05,730
I think I've drunk too much.
1052
00:53:05,732 --> 00:53:08,092
I...I have drunk too much.
1053
00:53:09,652 --> 00:53:11,252
I might go to bed.
1054
00:53:12,292 --> 00:53:13,770
Sure.
1055
00:53:13,772 --> 00:53:14,852
It's, erm...
1056
00:53:17,532 --> 00:53:19,972
It's just at the top of the
stairs, far end.
1057
00:53:21,612 --> 00:53:23,452
Would you like some water? No.
1058
00:53:25,772 --> 00:53:28,450
Actually, why don't I ring
for a taxi?
1059
00:53:28,452 --> 00:53:29,930
Oh, you don't have to.
1060
00:53:29,932 --> 00:53:31,212
No, but...
1061
00:53:32,492 --> 00:53:35,570
Saturday night, you'd be lucky to
get one if you...
1062
00:53:35,572 --> 00:53:39,210
Well, if it hasn't been
booked. I had no idea.
1063
00:53:39,212 --> 00:53:41,210
Is it a problem?
1064
00:53:41,212 --> 00:53:43,532
No! God, no.
1065
00:53:44,572 --> 00:53:45,930
Why would it be?
1066
00:53:45,932 --> 00:53:47,012
No, just...
1067
00:53:48,132 --> 00:53:49,770
I just thought you knew.
1068
00:53:49,772 --> 00:53:50,932
No.
1069
00:53:52,332 --> 00:53:54,490
It's not why I invited you
here. Is that why you thought
1070
00:53:54,492 --> 00:53:56,570
I wanted to come here?
You thought that I'm...?
1071
00:53:56,572 --> 00:53:58,052
No!
1072
00:53:59,812 --> 00:54:00,972
No!
1073
00:54:06,572 --> 00:54:08,770
Why don't I make us some coffee?
1074
00:54:08,772 --> 00:54:10,012
Yeah.
1075
00:54:24,212 --> 00:54:25,572
RAIN DRIPS
1076
00:54:28,092 --> 00:54:30,412
THUNDER RUMBLES
1077
00:54:46,572 --> 00:54:47,732
Bastard.
1078
00:54:53,932 --> 00:54:56,452
GUNSHOT, ALL GASP
1079
00:54:58,492 --> 00:55:00,450
What was that?
1080
00:55:00,452 --> 00:55:02,372
Some dumb bastard shooting.
1081
00:55:08,452 --> 00:55:10,570
Morning. What you doing?
1082
00:55:10,572 --> 00:55:12,410
Foxes.
1083
00:55:12,412 --> 00:55:14,012
Pestering sheep.
1084
00:55:18,172 --> 00:55:21,212
Sleep OK?
MIA AND ALYSSA: No.
1085
00:55:22,412 --> 00:55:25,530
There's coffee and bacon on the go
in the kitchen if you're hungry.
1086
00:55:25,532 --> 00:55:26,572
Right.
1087
00:55:46,052 --> 00:55:47,970
BANGING
1088
00:55:47,972 --> 00:55:49,650
DOG WHIMPERS
1089
00:55:49,652 --> 00:55:51,252
DOG BARKS
1090
00:55:59,892 --> 00:56:01,252
SHE GROANS
1091
00:56:02,732 --> 00:56:03,972
DOOR CLOSES
1092
00:56:13,812 --> 00:56:15,172
Shit.
1093
00:56:42,452 --> 00:56:44,290
KNOCKS AT DOOR
1094
00:56:44,292 --> 00:56:46,090
Ted?
1095
00:56:46,092 --> 00:56:47,452
Would you like a cup of tea?
1096
00:57:06,292 --> 00:57:08,250
Where is he?
1097
00:57:08,252 --> 00:57:09,690
Who?
1098
00:57:09,692 --> 00:57:10,810
Is he outside?
1099
00:57:10,812 --> 00:57:13,010
Who? Ted!
1100
00:57:13,012 --> 00:57:14,650
I've no idea.
1101
00:57:14,652 --> 00:57:16,570
Did you open these doors?
1102
00:57:16,572 --> 00:57:18,650
No.
1103
00:57:18,652 --> 00:57:20,090
Where is he?
1104
00:57:20,092 --> 00:57:22,572
Where the hell is he?
1105
00:57:24,092 --> 00:57:25,772
Ted!
1106
00:57:26,852 --> 00:57:28,450
Ted!
1107
00:57:28,452 --> 00:57:30,292
THUNDER CRASHES, CELIA GASPS
1108
00:57:35,692 --> 00:57:39,530
Make it a fiver, and I'll make
sure nobody touches your car.
1109
00:57:39,532 --> 00:57:42,370
And I know you'd be upset
if it got scratched.
1110
00:57:42,372 --> 00:57:43,570
Well, ring the police.
1111
00:57:43,572 --> 00:57:46,690
Obviously, that's exactly
what needs to happen next.
1112
00:57:46,692 --> 00:57:50,690
You're 50-odd. I'm 38.
1113
00:57:50,692 --> 00:57:51,930
Look at yourself.
1114
00:57:51,932 --> 00:57:53,290
JOHN: Don't humiliate Caroline.
1115
00:57:53,292 --> 00:57:54,890
JUDITH: Don't tell me
how to behave.
1116
00:57:54,892 --> 00:57:58,730
When I saw John today, I realised
that I almost miss him.
1117
00:57:58,732 --> 00:58:00,570
Hello.
1118
00:58:00,572 --> 00:58:03,330
Fuck off! Sheep farming...
1119
00:58:03,332 --> 00:58:05,772
Just...don't...
1120
00:58:05,822 --> 00:58:10,372
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