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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:03,637 JOE: You know, 2 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:04,972 life is so unfair. They got 3 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,807 Snakes on a Plane, Dances with Wolves, 4 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:07,975 The Elephant Man. (scoffs) 5 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:11,379 When did they stop making movies about cats? 6 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:14,014 About a week after the movie Cats came out. 7 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,151 Hey, Joe. Joe. 8 00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:19,153 Shouldn't you be helping me fix the truck? 9 00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:20,321 What are you talking about? 10 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,389 We finished working on the truck an hour ago. 11 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:22,856 Oh, that's right. I think we probably 12 00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:26,494 forgot the part where you, uh, pack up and go home. 13 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,496 Come on, you had your mechanic time with Joe. 14 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,065 Now he and I get to have our usual glass of wine 15 00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:32,400 and talk about poetry. 16 00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:36,337 The only poem Mike knows was, 17 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,706 -"There once was a man from Nantucket..." -(Vanessa laughs) 18 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,709 I like this one, though. 19 00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:45,579 "Before I start bitchin', why don't you leave my kitchen?" 20 00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:47,615 * 21 00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:54,088 -Morning. -Morning. 22 00:00:54,122 --> 00:00:55,389 Morning, Mikey. 23 00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:58,526 Mikey, how about a nice hot cup of joe? 24 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,594 (shivers) 25 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:04,064 If it was the Joe I know, it'd be dim and lifeless, 26 00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:05,733 and leave a bitter taste in your mouth, 27 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:08,102 and I'd never be able to get rid of it. 28 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:10,704 All right, what'd he do now? 29 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,941 -Well, apparently, Joe and my wife have become friends. -Oh? 30 00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:15,909 -She asked the dude over for dinner. -Hmm. 31 00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,611 You know, Dante was incorrect. 32 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:19,947 There are ten circles of hell. One of them... 33 00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,450 is made of denim. 34 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,552 He's lonely. He doesn't have what we have. 35 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,321 Love. Real love. 36 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,791 -You know, Ed, I like you, but... -Mm? 37 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,926 I don't think we have real love. 38 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:36,230 The man just needs a girlfriend. 39 00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:37,965 Yeah, fat chance of that. 40 00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:41,302 It'd be easier finding a cheap, renewable source of energy. 41 00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:44,438 Who ordered the CeCe, extra saucy? 42 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,443 Oh, Mandy. OMG. 43 00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:52,780 Those shoes are too sexy for a married lady. 44 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:56,317 -Hey, hey, I may be married but my feet aren't dead. -(chuckles) 45 00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,586 Hey, girl, I am glad you're married. 46 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,121 More men for me. Whoop whoop! Huh? 47 00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:04,091 Come on. Okay. All righty, then. 48 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:07,428 (sighs) Good morning, gentle-freaks. 49 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,129 (chuckles) 50 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,532 -The room suddenly got very crowded. -(chuckles) 51 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,602 That CeCe, she's... 52 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,271 a lot. 53 00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,607 Ooh, I am going to help myself 54 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,342 to an everything bagel, 55 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:22,976 because, like me, 56 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,346 it can satisfy anyone. 57 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,115 Hey, everybody. 58 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,118 Oh, bagels, nice. I hope there's an everything. 59 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,955 Uh-oh, looks like I took the last one. 60 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,324 Well, I think a lady like you 61 00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:38,459 should have the pick of any bagel she wants. 62 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,295 Oh, my goodness. What a gentleman. (chuckles) 63 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,963 We could go halfsies. 64 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:46,334 It would leave us both... wanting more. 65 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:49,870 I don't believe I've had the pleasure. My name is Joseph. 66 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,705 They call me Joe. 67 00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:54,041 It's kind of a nickname I came up with. 68 00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:55,476 CeCe. 69 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,212 That means, "yes yes." 70 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,882 Yes, yes. 71 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,389 But my favorite action fantasy series is 72 00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:10,524 The Promised Neverland. 73 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:13,727 Demons breed humans to be super intelligent. 74 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,730 Because the smarter they are, the more delicious they taste. 75 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:20,167 Wow, that is so fascinating. 76 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,736 Oh, but I feel like I've been talking this whole time. 77 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:24,838 Maybe we should move on to Kyle's topic. 78 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,674 Uh, yeah, yeah, we will, we will. 79 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,410 -But I have one more question for you... Ooh. -(laser beam sound effect) 80 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:32,846 -What's that? -Ah. That means that we are out of time. 81 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,850 And my topic today was unappreciated sidekicks. 82 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:40,087 Yeah. Sorry, we were a little off-topic today 83 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,723 because we were talking to Jen Zhen about 84 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:45,393 the quickly evolving art of Japanese graphic novels. 85 00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:47,194 And sitting here and not talking 86 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,897 has been Kyle Anderson. 87 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,533 Well, I'd like to thank both my guests. 88 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,568 Jen, you were so refreshing, so well-informed, 89 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,570 just fantastic all around. 90 00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,406 And, uh, Kyle... thanks. 91 00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:01,942 You've been listening to Ryan Vogelson 92 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:04,244 and this is (echoing): "Ry-Ry the Sci-Fi Guy." 93 00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:05,879 (gentle chimes) 94 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,549 (echoing): Bye-bye. 95 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,719 Ah, I'm late for Geology Club. 96 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,887 -Thanks for having me. -Yeah, see you! Bye. 97 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,789 -Bye, you guys! -Yeah. Bye. 98 00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:19,126 Hey, sorry we ran out of time. 99 00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,894 But, uh, pretty good show, right? 100 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,431 Yeah. Yeah, you and Jen were great together. 101 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:26,133 I almost could have stayed home. 102 00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:27,801 Come on. It was one show. 103 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,603 You kill it every time you're on. 104 00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,605 You're a "Ry-Ry" favorite. 105 00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:34,074 -Ah, I guess. -Hey, you want a sparkling water? 106 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,243 I got your favorite flavor: purple. 107 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,746 (chuckles) Okay. 108 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,748 Jen took the last one. 109 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,784 Oh, Jen is having quite the day, isn't she? 110 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,257 Honey, I'm wondering if we have enough food for somebody else. 111 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,625 I invited CeCe over, 112 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,594 hoping that she and Joe would hit it off. 113 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,795 CeCe? 114 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,764 What, the tall blonde, big laugh, 115 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,766 always shouting "whoop whoop"? 116 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,434 That would be CeCe. 117 00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:02,936 -(exhales) Well, you really think she's right for Joe? -Yeah. 118 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,773 I mean, isn't she... a lot? 119 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:06,807 Well... (chuckles) 120 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,476 a lot of people say that about me. 121 00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:09,643 It's-it's actually a compliment. 122 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:11,011 No, uh, it's not. 123 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:14,147 Uh... No. Do you remember the Outdoor Man picnic? 124 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,316 She heckled everyone in the talent show. 125 00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:19,687 That's because the talent at that show was horrible. 126 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,289 Honey, they were children. 127 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,291 Why are you fighting this? 128 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,360 -I thought you'd want Joe to be happy. -Well, honey, 129 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,362 you don't care about your friends, so somebody has to. 130 00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:29,463 (doorbell rings) 131 00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:31,465 -Just... (mutters) -All right. Well, hey. 132 00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:33,501 I will be watching her. 133 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,469 And, uh... (clears throat) 134 00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:39,172 ...there will be no l'amour if she doesn't pass muster with me. 135 00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,174 Well, prepare to have your muster passed. 136 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,579 -Hey, Cees! -'Sup, Baxter. 137 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,315 Lady Baxter. 138 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:52,152 I came to drank, huh?! Whoop whoop! 139 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,554 There you go. 140 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,661 MIKE: All right. 141 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,663 Sorry, CeCe, I didn't have the ingredients 142 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,331 or enough butane for that 143 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,200 -Flaming Black Widow thing you ordered. -(laughs) 144 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,169 -White wine? Yeah. -Yeah. Yeah. 145 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,738 -There you go. There you go, hon. -Okay. 146 00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:13,340 The last party I was at had a slide made of ice, 147 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,842 -with vodka running down it. -Oh. 148 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,343 Oh, my... (chuckles) Wow. 149 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,179 We all stood at the bottom, just guzzling it. 150 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,380 You know. (glugging sounds) 151 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:21,682 -(laughs) -MIKE: Nice. 152 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,384 Best funeral ever. 153 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,688 You know what might be something to try? 154 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,090 Like, a calming green tea and a weighted blanket. 155 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,725 -(laughs) Mike... -Um... 156 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,026 -You know, CeCe... -Yeah. 157 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,562 ...it's-it's great that you like parties. 158 00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:37,865 But I've gotten to know Joe, and he's-he's kind of a homebody. 159 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,067 Well, I like the body part. 160 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,769 (laughs) 161 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,204 -Come on. -MIKE: Come on. (laughs) 162 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,574 -Come on, you-you set her up. -VANESSA: Yeah, okay. 163 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,075 -What was she supposed to do? -Yeah! 164 00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,577 Not go for the sleazy joke? 165 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,278 VANESSA: Well, look. 166 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,880 No, wait a minute. Joe is... 167 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,247 -Joe is a sensitive guy. -MIKE: Yeah. 168 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,416 I mean, did you know that he wrote a children's book? 169 00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:58,051 -Children's book, huh? -MIKE: Yeah. 170 00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:01,154 So that means there's no sex in it, then. 171 00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:04,424 (chuckles): Yikes. 50 shades of boring. 172 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,228 Well, look, it's a kids' book. There is no sex in it. 173 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,731 She-She's just stating a fact. You're a scientist. 174 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,299 -You-you love facts. -VANESSA: Well, look, 175 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,902 here's a little fact about Joe. 176 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,070 Uh, he absolutely dotes on his elderly mother. 177 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,139 -MIKE: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. -He's a very, very caring person. 178 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,141 Oh, well, I dote on my mother, too. 179 00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,744 -Oh, nice. -Yeah. I designed her a sports bra 180 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,913 to keep her sandbags from hitting her in the face 181 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,915 when she's Jazzercising, you know? 182 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,950 (grunting) 183 00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,321 She's not only caring. She paints a... 184 00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:36,156 -a pretty picture, doesn't she? -(knock on door) 185 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,625 -Hey, everybody. -MIKE: Hey, Joe. 186 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,459 -Hey, hi. -Oh! (chuckles) -Sorry I'm late. 187 00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:42,162 -Madonna threw up on my rug. -(laughs) 188 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,430 Oh, my God, Joey. 189 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,265 You party with Madonna?! 190 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,800 -And Lady Gaga. -Okay. 191 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:50,437 Well, they... they're my cats, you know. 192 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,807 It's, uh... It's not really a party. 193 00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:57,010 It's just a feather on a stick kind of thing. 194 00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,813 -So you have cats. -Yeah. 195 00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,014 Yeah, but he fixes cars. 196 00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:02,616 Y-You know, like guys do. 197 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:05,285 Yeah, he-he has cats and a mom. 198 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,620 Does that bother you? 199 00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,622 I love cats. (chuckles) 200 00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:12,292 My favorite breed is the seal point Siamese. 201 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,863 -Madonna is a seal point Siamese. -Shut up. 202 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,130 VANESSA: Wait, wait, wait, wait! 203 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,365 Is it cat or a seal? 204 00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:19,967 It should make up its mind, right? 205 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,368 (laughs) 206 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,708 You know what I hate? 207 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:31,011 They don't make enough movies about cats. 208 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,483 This woman is amazing. 209 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,819 You know, this is a lot of fun. Actually a lot of fun. 210 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,153 Uh, Joe, can I get you a beer? 211 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,655 -Uh... -MIKE: Yeah, good, good. 212 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:44,692 You want something to eat? Like, maybe a slice of crow? 213 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,864 (knock on door) 214 00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:52,566 Hey. 215 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,335 Hey. Uh, what you doing here? 216 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,838 Well, I was telling Mandy about the other day 217 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,340 when Jen was on the show, and she was saying 218 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,843 maybe I was being a little too sensitive. 219 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,178 Uh, actually, Kyle, now's not really a great time. I... 220 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,347 -Hey, you left all the equipment out. -Uh, oh, yeah. 221 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,349 Yeah, just doing a quick little sound check. 222 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,052 Getting a little pop on my Ps. 223 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,724 (chuckles): Hey, it's Jen. 224 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,261 What? 225 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:24,732 Am I early? You said 6:30. 226 00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:27,200 No, no, I didn't. No, I didn't. 227 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,537 Well, well, well. 228 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,941 What do we have here? 229 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,743 Kyle, are you feeling better? 230 00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:37,778 Ryan said you were sick. 231 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,582 Oh, I'm sick. 232 00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,217 Sick of being lied to. 233 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,253 There's no pop on your Ps. 234 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,221 Okay, would you stop, all right? 235 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,757 I am just doing a little follow-up with Jen, 236 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,391 and I didn't tell you because I knew 237 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,626 you'd blow it out of proportion. 238 00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:54,828 My life is in tatters. 239 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,899 Uh, if I'm coming between you guys, I can leave. 240 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,901 No. No, no. You stay, okay? 241 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,903 He's being a baby. You're the guest today. 242 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,905 And I'm yesterday's news. 243 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,473 Hey, good luck with your little show. 244 00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,075 May I suggest a topic? 245 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,509 Betrayal! 246 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:14,314 Oh, and I'm not mad at you, Jen. Break a leg. 247 00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:24,424 (laughs) Yeah, that is hilarious, CeCe. 248 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,460 The cat literally had your tongue. 249 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:32,032 CELIA: They had to put him down after! 250 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,170 I... (sighs) 251 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,439 I don't understand what he sees in her. 252 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,274 You know what they say, love is crazy. 253 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,276 They're both nuts. It's perfect. 254 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,945 All right, well, you know, 255 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,613 it doesn't have to make sense to me. 256 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,615 If Joe's happy, then, uh, then I'm happy. 257 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,283 I think the phrase you're actually looking for is, 258 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,518 "Mike, you were right, 259 00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:54,287 I'm in awe of your abilities." 260 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,824 Yeah, yeah. Nice work, Cupid. 261 00:10:56,857 --> 00:11:00,193 You know, the secret to Cupid is the-the arrow. 262 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,962 Especially the point-- I use a single-point broad-head. 263 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,031 It actually rips right through the heart. 264 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,799 Brings it home to me. 265 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:08,035 -Hey. -Hey, what are you doing here? 266 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:10,203 I just came by to grab some leftovers. 267 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,872 Usually you guys aren't here when I do this, 268 00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:14,307 so I'll take it easy. 269 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,676 Take whatever you want, I've licked all the food in there. 270 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,146 Well, not all of it. 271 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,981 That's what makes it so much fun. 272 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:24,151 -Is that Joe and CeCe? -Mm, yeah, yeah. 273 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,485 They're getting to know one another. 274 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,686 It's a date. I set it up, 275 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,688 because I love love. 276 00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:31,358 Huh, I know you find Joe annoying, Dad, 277 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:34,527 but I didn't think you wanted to ruin his life. 278 00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:36,196 Why are you saying that? 279 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,231 Because CeCe's a total man-eater. 280 00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:39,699 She's always telling stories about breaking guys' hearts 281 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,568 and kicking them to the curb. 282 00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:43,837 -I knew it, but you wouldn't listen to me! -Hey, hey... 283 00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,372 Yeah. 284 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:46,840 She chews them up and spits them out 285 00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:47,841 like she's Ms. Pac-Man. 286 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,176 (imitating Ms. Pac-Man) 287 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,677 Okay, okay, okay, okay! 288 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,245 Just take the tofu. 289 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,881 I'm positive I haven't licked that. 290 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,348 Okay. 291 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,717 I'll be back later to steal dessert. 292 00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:01,721 Look at the upside-- we got rid of that old tofu. 293 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,196 VANESSA: She is gonna 294 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,730 break his sweet, sensitive heart. 295 00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,365 Listen, you know what? 296 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,367 I've had a lot of marketing meetings with that woman. 297 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,269 -She's a lot of talk. -What do you mean? 298 00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:20,240 I think the lady doth whoop too much. 299 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,375 Look, what-what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? 300 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,044 What am I gonna do? Listen, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. 301 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,612 -Okay. -I'm gonna show you how, how I peel an onion. 302 00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:27,714 -Okay? Watch-watch this. -All right, all right... 303 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:28,882 Hey, Cees, could you come in here 304 00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,417 -a minute before you go? -No, no, no, no, no, no! 305 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,219 When I said what are we gonna do I meant what are you gonna... 306 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,421 Look, she probably has a knife! 307 00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:37,390 What's up, Bax, huh? 308 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,793 But make it quick, because Joe and I still got 309 00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:41,761 a whole lot of holler left in this night, you know? 310 00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,064 Whoop whoop! 311 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,066 Listen, listen, there's, there's some stuff 312 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,100 I should tell you about Joe. 313 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,401 Oh, like what? 314 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,070 I just want you to know 315 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,972 Joe's a player. 316 00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:55,408 Love 'em and leave 'em sort of guy. 317 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,777 Oh, okay, but hang on, because... 318 00:12:57,811 --> 00:13:01,081 you said that Joe was a homebody and see, 319 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,749 now you're saying that Joe's a player? 320 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,084 Yeah! 321 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,919 Yeah, yeah. 322 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:08,755 Eats them up, chews them up, spits them out like Pac-Man. 323 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,591 -(imitating Pac-Man) -Ooh. Yeah, yeah... 324 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,994 Right, right, yeah, yeah, because when I said that he was 325 00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:16,463 a homebody, I mean, that was before I knew you. 326 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,932 And now that I know you, you guys are exactly 327 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:22,302 the same type. (growls) 328 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,104 (Vanessa whooping) 329 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,106 You know, um, actually, 330 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,775 uh, I should make this an early night. 331 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,611 (stammers) I didn't mean to offend you or anything... 332 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,113 certainly didn't mean to scare you, 'cause you, 333 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,615 can't scare you, 'cause you're a party girl. 334 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,517 -Yeah, yeah. -Yeah! 335 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:41,021 It's just that I've got a really early meeting in the morning 336 00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,490 and my social life is just jam-packed. 337 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,125 I get it, I get it. Do you smell an onion? 338 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,826 -Do you see an onion? -Yeah... 339 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,828 Uh, yeah, you know what, uh, CeCe, before you cancel 340 00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:50,964 your plans, you want to give us a minute, honey? 341 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,200 -Just, yeah. -Yeah, I'm gonna get outside and do some drinking! 342 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,339 -Hey. -Hey. 343 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,308 Thank you for agreeing to help me, Kyle. 344 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,976 Yeah, I was surprised to get your text. 345 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:06,646 I thought you'd still be recording "Rye Bread" 346 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,481 or whatever he calls that thing. 347 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,850 Oh, no, I didn't stay. 348 00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,485 It didn't feel right. 349 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:15,388 And Ryan was pretty upset after you left. 350 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:18,325 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 351 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,659 Hey. 352 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,995 Hey, what are you doing here? 353 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,830 Uh, just closing up the pot shop 354 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,832 and I got the note that the toilet was overflowing. 355 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:29,369 My toilet is flowing perfectly, thank you. 356 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,371 You're free to leave. 357 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:32,672 Okay. 358 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:33,840 Wait. 359 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,842 I wrote the note. 360 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,078 I need both your help. 361 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:39,712 I'm doing a report on the differences 362 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:43,183 between American zombies and jiangshi. 363 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,018 -Those are Chinese zombies. -I knew that. 364 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:47,520 -Did not. -Did, too. 365 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,590 But I don't know anything about American zombies, 366 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,293 and you guys know so much. 367 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,697 Please? 368 00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,400 Okay, well, when it comes to zombie movies, 369 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:03,236 N-O-T-L-D is probably a good place to start. 370 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:05,038 What's that? 371 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,206 Uh, that's how annoying people 372 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,875 say Night of the Living Dead. 373 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,211 Which is not the first zombie movie, Jen. 374 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,046 Uh, didn't say it was the first zombie movie. 375 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,547 Did I? Did I say that? 376 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,216 (mocking): "Did I say that?" 377 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,617 Do you listen to yourself? 378 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,052 All the time. 379 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,088 As do 1,104 subscribers. 380 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:23,890 Oh, sorry, Dr. Laura. 381 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,960 Okay, so, what was the first zombie movie? 382 00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,229 Well, some people would say Frankenstein. 383 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,231 Uh, not a zombie. 384 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:35,102 Uh, brought back to life. A zombie. 385 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:38,905 Uh, did not eat brains. Not a zombie. 386 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,574 Also, Frankenstein wasn't even the monster's name. 387 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,977 True, technically it was "Frankenstein's monster." 388 00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:45,645 But nobody wants to say that. 389 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:48,748 It's like saying "Frankenstein's dog." 390 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,617 Did Frankenstein even have a dog? 391 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,252 I don't know, I mean, he made a guy. 392 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,487 Why wouldn't he make a dog? 393 00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:57,624 Probably 'cause the dog wouldn't stop licking his bolts. 394 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,495 You know, it's too bad we're... 395 00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:04,264 Uh, never mind. 396 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,466 You were gonna say it's too bad we're not recording? 397 00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,801 KYLE: Yeah. 398 00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,770 This is some primo "Ry-Ry." 399 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,672 Jen left. 400 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:18,611 You know, she's pretty smart. 401 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,280 Yeah, she is. 402 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,283 Maybe we should have her back on our podcast. 403 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,952 Our podcast? 404 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:29,022 Like, Ry-Ry and Ky-Ky, the Sci-Fi Guy-Guys? 405 00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,957 Are you in? 406 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:34,894 Did Frankenstein's dog have wet bolts? 407 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,367 So, help me out here, CeCe, because I can't shake 408 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,635 the feeling that there's a completely 409 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:46,039 different person under all this... "Whoop whoop!" 410 00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:48,308 What? No. No. 411 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,678 I mean, what you see is what you get, you know? 412 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:55,382 I'm just a wild, banging, hipster chick. 413 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,484 -Yeah. -Right. 414 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,986 So, then, why isn't a meaningless fling 415 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,021 exactly what you're looking for? 416 00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:04,524 Because if Joe's a player and you're a player, why not play? 417 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,159 Oh, because... 418 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,827 Yeah, because, because you are not 419 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,063 really a wild, banging, hipster chick. 420 00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:11,998 (scoffs) 421 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,434 (sobbing): No. 422 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,505 No, I'm not. 423 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,906 Well, then, who are you? 424 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:21,908 Because-because I would really like 425 00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,510 to meet that person. 426 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,678 I'm just a woman 427 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:26,913 in her mid-30... 428 00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:29,516 Eh! 429 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,751 -Late thir... -Nope. 430 00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,052 Okay. 431 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:38,725 I am a woman past 30... 432 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,693 Okay. 433 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:44,063 ...who would just like to find something real. 434 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,367 Well, I mean, if that's what you want, 435 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,069 -then you need to be real. -Oh, okay. 436 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:52,372 Well, that's easy for you to say. 437 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,740 You're just so beautiful 438 00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:56,776 and you have this perfect relationship. 439 00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,112 Well, one of those things is true. 440 00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,382 But... 441 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,385 my relationship didn't start out that way. 442 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,420 When I first met Mike, he was this 443 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,889 big, stubborn loudmouth. 444 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:13,059 And then you finally got him to reveal his true self? 445 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,128 Oh, no, that, that is his true self. 446 00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:18,064 But, look, no, I-I was the one who was pretending. 447 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,133 I-I was big and loud, too, 448 00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:22,402 because I thought that's what he'd like. 449 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,403 Did it work? 450 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,238 Yeah, yeah, for a while. 451 00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:28,775 I mean, he'd laugh when I belched the alphabet. 452 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,578 Or did the robot dance at a football game. 453 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,613 (both laugh) 454 00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,114 -I hear you. -Yeah? 455 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,250 I've once did "the worm" at a bar mitzvah. 456 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,419 -Oh. -Just ow... 457 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,989 I know, eventually, it's just, it's so exhausting, right? 458 00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:45,492 -I know! -Look, I had to show Mike 459 00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,927 that I, I'm just a geology nerd 460 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,596 who-who loves curling up on the sofa 461 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,764 and watching old movies. 462 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,966 And I'm just a cat lady 463 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,804 who had to butter herself to get into these pants tonight! 464 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:04,677 But what if I show the real me and... 465 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,346 I get rejected? 466 00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,615 Oh, honey, look, that is why 467 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,184 -God made ice cream and wine. -(snorts) 468 00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:12,619 Yeah. 469 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,153 But you will never really know 470 00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:15,955 if you don't take a risk. 471 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,624 MIKE: I hate to interrupt. 472 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,792 Who am I kidding, I love to interrupt, but... 473 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,295 Joe finished all the potpourri in the bathroom, 474 00:19:22,329 --> 00:19:25,332 and I'm done talking to him. 475 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:26,699 Hey, I'm feeling pretty light on my feet. 476 00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,134 You want to hit that rave? 477 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,136 You know, um, to be honest, 478 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,472 Joe, I was thinking maybe we could just 479 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,674 go someplace quiet and talk. 480 00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:38,311 I mean, would that be something that you would like to do? 481 00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:40,313 Yes, when I was in the bathroom, I googled "rave," 482 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,882 -and-and it scared me to death! -I know, right? 483 00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:45,718 Thank you, guys, you know, 484 00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:48,688 -MIKE: Mm-hmm. -for everything, um... 485 00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,990 -So, where you want to go, Joe? -Well, I know a great 486 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,725 all-night deli that serves terrific coffee. 487 00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,994 And my mother works there, so we don't have to tip. 488 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,195 Oh! 489 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:58,331 I'll see you at work, Joe. 490 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:01,000 Well, well, what do you know? 491 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,002 There was more to CeCe than I thought. 492 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,572 Okay, and there was more to Joe, but there wasn't that much 493 00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:08,174 to begin with, so it wasn't a big step up. 494 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,676 You know, who knows? 495 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,711 Maybe it'll work out with them. 496 00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:13,580 -Hmm. -Hmm, so I'm pretty good at this Cupid thing. 497 00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,181 -The big question I have about Cupid is -Yeah? 498 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,049 where-where does Cupid find love? 499 00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,085 (rhythmic grunting) 500 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,524 Get upstairs, human, 501 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,927 and get ready for l'amour. 502 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,863 You know, I got, I got to admit, 503 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,231 that still does it for me. 504 00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,301 (imitating Pac-Man) 505 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:43,876 Hey, Mike Baxter and a couple of my friends here for Outdoor Man 506 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,413 with a few words about duck hunting. 507 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:47,780 (duck call) 508 00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,081 No offense, guys. 509 00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:51,217 Now, you can pre-heat you oven to 350, 510 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,885 leave it open, cross your fingers 511 00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:55,054 -and hope a honker flies in. -(duck quacking) 512 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:58,224 Or you can increase your chances by letting Outdoor Man 513 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,893 outfit you with a duck decoy spread 514 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,962 and the irresistible music of a duck call. 515 00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:05,465 (duck call) 516 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,600 It might not sound like much to us, but to a duck, 517 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:11,571 it sounds like Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On." 518 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,741 When a duck goes for a decoy, it ends up braised, 519 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,744 but when a human falls for a decoy, he gets eaten alive. 520 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,279 My good friend Billy Shakespeare wrote, 521 00:21:20,313 --> 00:21:22,582 "To thine own self be true." 522 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:26,085 But when it came to ducks, he was fine with tricking them. 523 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:29,656 You know what would make you even cuter? 524 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:30,757 Listen to me. 525 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,759 (duck call) 526 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,827 A nice cinnamon glaze, wow. 527 00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:37,296 -(duck call) -Baxter out. 528 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,266 (chicken clucking) 529 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,301 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 38900

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