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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,178 --> 00:00:02,771 I'll open the pot, gentlemen. 2 00:00:02,933 --> 00:00:04,465 - I'm in... - Stay... 3 00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:05,776 I'll stay... 4 00:00:06,701 --> 00:00:08,293 - How many cards? - Two... 5 00:00:09,304 --> 00:00:10,718 - And you... ? - Three... 6 00:00:12,129 --> 00:00:13,339 One... 7 00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:14,852 One... and one here. 8 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,074 Subtitles downloaded from... 9 00:00:22,409 --> 00:00:24,529 - 30.000 lire... - No... I'm out! 10 00:00:24,631 --> 00:00:27,957 - I raise another 30... - I'm out! 11 00:00:28,659 --> 00:00:30,475 - Let's have a look... - A pair of aces! 12 00:00:30,678 --> 00:00:31,890 3 Jacks! 13 00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:46,797 DOES THE LADY PLAY SCOPA WELL? [aka POKER IN BED] 14 00:00:47,402 --> 00:00:48,719 - 20.000... - I'm out! 15 00:00:53,252 --> 00:00:54,964 120.000... 16 00:00:56,477 --> 00:00:57,700 Let's have a look! 17 00:00:57,901 --> 00:00:59,501 3 aces! 18 00:01:00,107 --> 00:01:01,621 Full house! 19 00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:19,057 200.000 20 00:01:20,858 --> 00:01:22,358 600.000 21 00:01:26,311 --> 00:01:27,031 [Touch wood] 22 00:01:27,232 --> 00:01:28,732 1.600.000 23 00:01:28,932 --> 00:01:30,155 I'll raise... 24 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,956 2.400.000 25 00:01:33,164 --> 00:01:34,675 Let's have a look... 26 00:01:35,381 --> 00:01:37,098 4 Aces! 27 00:01:37,904 --> 00:01:41,531 I got nothing... except a straight flush! 28 00:01:57,202 --> 00:02:01,874 - You can't win 'em all! - I don't seem to win any... 29 00:02:02,975 --> 00:02:05,330 - Here... - Thank you! 30 00:02:05,331 --> 00:02:08,054 - 3.810.000... - It was just a stroke of luck, my boy! 31 00:02:08,155 --> 00:02:09,547 - I'll say... - So long! 32 00:02:09,548 --> 00:02:11,059 Tomorrow, my friend... 33 00:02:11,424 --> 00:02:14,503 Thanks for a nice time... goodbye. 34 00:02:22,954 --> 00:02:26,985 - Have you noticed, he always loses to me! - I'd wait on cashing that check, if I were you. 35 00:02:26,986 --> 00:02:30,918 Why? It's always been good before. You're not trying to put a curse on it, are you? 36 00:02:31,220 --> 00:02:35,150 No, of course. But that guy's been on a losing streak for a long, long time! 37 00:02:35,558 --> 00:02:40,896 He had to take out a second mortage on his store. I got that straight from his junior partner... 38 00:02:41,197 --> 00:02:44,323 Well, rumors don't frighten me, because I know he can get money when the chips are down! 39 00:03:42,582 --> 00:03:44,401 Alright, come on Michele. Let's go... 40 00:03:45,910 --> 00:03:48,329 Give me a double! How are you, Camillo? 41 00:03:50,850 --> 00:03:53,874 - I don't believe it! I don't believe it! - That doesn't make the slightest difference... 42 00:03:53,875 --> 00:03:59,419 When I heard how much you lost the other night - 2.600.000 - I couldn't believe my ears. 43 00:03:59,621 --> 00:04:01,435 - Don't blame me! - Yeah? Then who's to blame? 44 00:04:01,436 --> 00:04:02,948 - Well... I nominate you! - Oh, you do? 45 00:04:02,949 --> 00:04:04,663 Sure... you're the person who gave me these! 46 00:04:04,664 --> 00:04:06,680 - So... ? - You gave me these as a good luck charm. 47 00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:10,712 That was all bullshit! You told me these charms were a player's best friend. 48 00:04:10,713 --> 00:04:15,048 "Knock on wood - you'll make it good." I ought to punch your face in, you big liar. 49 00:04:14,049 --> 00:04:16,972 You ought to be drawn and quartered! Those charms are worthless! 50 00:04:16,973 --> 00:04:19,996 - I don't ever want to see them again! - These were my grandfather's charms. 51 00:04:19,997 --> 00:04:23,021 - He always carried these when he won at cards! - Sure, for games like rummy or crazy eights. 52 00:04:22,022 --> 00:04:26,054 My only interest is poker. Remember when we used to play a game called "scopa"? 53 00:04:26,357 --> 00:04:30,389 Nobody plays that anymore. Poker is the only game today that requires intelligence. 54 00:04:30,390 --> 00:04:36,423 - If you don't have that, then don't sit down at the table! - In your case, it's got nothing to do with intelligence! 55 00:04:36,524 --> 00:04:38,757 Oh, a natural loser, am I? Don't tell that to my buddies over at the social club. 56 00:04:38,758 --> 00:04:43,986 - My powers as a gambler are completely intact! - Is that also true about your other powers? 57 00:04:43,987 --> 00:04:44,996 What's that? 58 00:04:45,497 --> 00:04:49,526 - ... and it's that long! - That's nothing. The tail on our retriever was that long! 59 00:04:49,534 --> 00:04:52,350 They're only talking about dogs. They don't know anything about me! 60 00:04:52,551 --> 00:04:55,574 - Concerned about length, Michele? - You mind my own business! 61 00:04:56,692 --> 00:05:02,834 Cut it out! Stop worrying. We have a great business, and we're making good money. 62 00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:08,083 Aptly stated - we're making money. Only problem is, we can't pay the debts that are piling up! 63 00:05:08,084 --> 00:05:13,019 - That poker game is going to be our downfall! - Don't worry ... I'll pay them. I'll pay them. 64 00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:15,337 The store will save us, you'll see. 65 00:05:15,544 --> 00:05:17,963 Get serious! You know what the people around town are calling us? 66 00:05:17,964 --> 00:05:19,476 - It can't be that bad... - A couple of bums! 67 00:05:19,477 --> 00:05:21,090 - A couple of what? - That's what they think of us! 68 00:05:21,091 --> 00:05:24,513 - People are calling us bums? - Including me! Why me? 69 00:05:24,514 --> 00:05:25,325 - And why me? - It's unfair! 70 00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,846 You should be glad they call you a bum! It means free publicity... 71 00:05:27,847 --> 00:05:31,979 - Let's forget about it. We'll talk about it another time. - Yeah... tomorrow's another day. 72 00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:36,312 If anyone tries to cash that last check you wrote, we'll find ourselves peddling our asses out on the street. 73 00:05:36,313 --> 00:05:38,634 Wait a minute. Would you mind repeating that? 74 00:05:38,635 --> 00:05:41,257 If anyone tries to cash that check, we'll find ourselves where? 75 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:43,375 - Peddling our asses? - Bravo! You're a genius, my bald-headed friend! 76 00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,097 Bravo, Peppino! A marvelous idea, peddling our asses! 77 00:05:46,098 --> 00:05:49,220 Although I'll have to consult with someone who's had a lot of experience in that area, the whore Marisa. 78 00:05:50,786 --> 00:05:55,977 Hey, Michele, where the hell have you been all this time? Sit down and tell me what you've been up to. 79 00:05:55,978 --> 00:05:59,405 - Well, I've got the store, and I've... - I'm so glad you've come to... 80 00:05:59,406 --> 00:06:04,538 Please, leave my leg alone! No more of that grabbing at my... my leg. 81 00:06:05,144 --> 00:06:06,559 You used to tell me how much you liked it! 82 00:06:06,561 --> 00:06:08,883 - The pain is just a little more than I can stand. - I can't figure you out! 83 00:06:08,884 --> 00:06:13,923 You walk in here without even calling ahead to see if I'm busy with a client. 84 00:06:13,924 --> 00:06:17,351 You just snap your fingers, and expect me to make time for you. 85 00:06:17,352 --> 00:06:20,880 Will you shut up for a moment, Marisa! I'm here because I need your help. 86 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:23,804 - You see, I'm in a hell of a lot of trouble. - I will... only... will you swear you love me? 87 00:06:23,805 --> 00:06:27,635 Darling! Why do you even ask? There's never been anyone but you! 88 00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:30,857 Tell me... is Caminata supposed to come here today? 89 00:06:31,159 --> 00:06:33,577 He comes every other Tuesday. Never on Monday! 90 00:06:33,678 --> 00:06:35,692 That dirty motherfucker! 91 00:06:36,199 --> 00:06:40,533 Oh, I love it! Come here and talk dirty to me again! 92 00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:44,566 Slut! Whore! Prostitute! 93 00:06:44,728 --> 00:06:46,784 - Filthy cunt... - I love it! I love it! 94 00:06:46,785 --> 00:06:51,521 - Are you sure he won't walk in? - Calm down... he never comes without calling first. 95 00:06:51,624 --> 00:06:57,369 - Are you sure he'll call? - Are you afraid of that fat old windbag, Michele? 96 00:06:57,370 --> 00:07:02,409 Am I afraid? Don't be ridiculous! It's just that he has a check of mine, and I need it back. 97 00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:05,334 Don't bother explaining it. I'll murder you if you've been playing cards again! 98 00:07:05,435 --> 00:07:07,953 Go ahead and murder me, darling. That would almost wipe me out. 99 00:07:08,054 --> 00:07:10,678 - You still haven't learned how to play? - If he cashes my check, I'll... 100 00:07:10,679 --> 00:07:17,029 Don't worry about the money. I offer reasonable interest rates to my clients who are a little short. 101 00:07:17,030 --> 00:07:20,155 - I offer long-term credit... - I'm glad to know that! 102 00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:25,498 - Marisa! Get this hound off of me! - You said he never came on Monday... 103 00:07:25,499 --> 00:07:28,628 - Here, hide under the bed! - I can't fit under here... 104 00:07:28,729 --> 00:07:31,049 Yes you can. They all do. I'll get rid of him... 105 00:07:34,028 --> 00:07:37,052 Little beast! Vicious bitch! That mutt ought to be locked up! 106 00:07:37,053 --> 00:07:41,387 She's the best argument for vivisection that's ever been invented! 107 00:07:41,388 --> 00:07:45,107 What's the matter with her? Why does she get so excited? It's a disgrace! 108 00:07:45,408 --> 00:07:51,153 - Well, I warned you to be careful. - What good is that when there's a dragon in the entry? 109 00:07:50,154 --> 00:07:54,597 She sank her fangs into my leg, and tore my pants! Look at them ... they were new, too. 110 00:07:54,698 --> 00:07:57,714 What's the matter with you today, honey? Are you nervous about something? 111 00:07:57,715 --> 00:07:59,630 You can tell me, honey! 112 00:08:03,764 --> 00:08:06,889 I've asked you never to grab my thighs. You know I'm tender! 113 00:08:08,693 --> 00:08:13,232 Now don't pout! You know I don't like it when you pout. Come on, Marisa, I don't have much time today! 114 00:08:13,433 --> 00:08:18,271 Why don't you just get out! You're all upset about something, and then you come here anyway! 115 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,006 And then you tell me you're in a hurry! What do you think this is, the express check-out lane? 116 00:08:21,107 --> 00:08:25,138 Marisa, don't give me a hard time today! I have the tax people on my back. 117 00:08:25,139 --> 00:08:29,373 They're coming to the factory to check the books. Thank God for my friend in City Hall... 118 00:08:29,374 --> 00:08:33,607 ... or they would have walked in unannounced. So have a heart, Marisa - forget I ever hit you. 119 00:08:33,608 --> 00:08:37,133 Of all your patrons, you should realize that I'm your ace in the hole. 120 00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:38,034 What? 121 00:08:38,038 --> 00:08:41,169 The time you set aside for me doesn't always work. And you've offered no alternative other than evenings. 122 00:08:41,170 --> 00:08:45,293 You drive me crazy. Now come on, darling, because I have to leave soon. 123 00:08:45,294 --> 00:08:48,527 Hey! Get lost! I'm not impressed by the fact that you have friends in City Hall! 124 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,648 If you're in such a hurry, why don't you go fuck the tax collector? 125 00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:55,790 No, Marisa... let me underdress you. You're beautiful, Marisa. My beautiful Marisa... 126 00:08:55,791 --> 00:08:58,613 Time is money for both of us! 127 00:08:58,614 --> 00:09:02,847 There... You know I have to fit you in as best I can. 128 00:09:02,848 --> 00:09:06,679 My darling, don't begrudge me the few minutes I have free during a busy week! 129 00:09:07,587 --> 00:09:09,905 You know how I like it. Yes! Touch me there... 130 00:09:09,906 --> 00:09:13,535 Oh... I love it! Yes! Touch me there! You know how to do it! 131 00:09:13,737 --> 00:09:15,955 More! Yes! You're wonderful! 132 00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:19,173 It's never been like this before! 133 00:09:19,974 --> 00:09:21,374 What's that? 134 00:09:21,492 --> 00:09:24,718 The telephone - it's for me. I told them to call me here. 135 00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:31,169 Hello! Ah, Soreno, yes! It's Zacharia, my friend at City Hall. 136 00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:33,489 In case anything came up, I told him where he could reach me. 137 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:37,723 I'm here... those tax people made the appointment, just like you said. 138 00:09:37,724 --> 00:09:41,657 No way! I'm ready for them now. I take it you want your check? 139 00:09:41,858 --> 00:09:42,958 Speak up... 140 00:09:42,959 --> 00:09:48,006 Who's check? The one that guy from Naples gave me last night at the poker game. 141 00:09:48,612 --> 00:09:51,837 Sure it's good! He's too stupid to write a bum check. 142 00:09:52,039 --> 00:09:57,778 No... I don't have it. I passed it on to that Nascimbeni woman to pay for some milk. 143 00:09:57,783 --> 00:10:01,514 No, I'll write you out another check when we meet for poker. Goodbye... 144 00:10:02,924 --> 00:10:05,749 Now, Marisa ... do me like you used to do! 145 00:10:06,254 --> 00:10:11,496 Get those drums pounding in my brain! Boom, boom, boom... 146 00:10:14,528 --> 00:10:19,560 - Oh, gently, gently! - I'll make it, unless your foot has changed size. 147 00:10:19,561 --> 00:10:21,980 It's the same as you always wear. Can't you... 148 00:10:22,082 --> 00:10:24,499 ... put it further in? 149 00:10:25,302 --> 00:10:26,516 Just a little more... 150 00:10:26,935 --> 00:10:28,452 There it goes! 151 00:10:30,753 --> 00:10:33,670 How does it feel? Comfortable? 152 00:10:34,072 --> 00:10:36,194 A bit snug, Mister Michele. 153 00:10:37,298 --> 00:10:39,924 The sacrifices you ladies make in the cause of beauty. 154 00:10:40,726 --> 00:10:43,147 - They feel better already. I'll take them. - I think you'll be happy with them. 155 00:10:43,451 --> 00:10:47,785 I'm also looking for something I can wear this summer. Something lightweight and sporty. 156 00:10:48,088 --> 00:10:50,307 - Open toed... - Yes, open toed. Tonino! 157 00:10:51,113 --> 00:10:53,532 - You calling me, sir? - You think is a good time to be stirring up dust? 158 00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:57,363 My back was turned, like you told me to do when a lady is trying on a pair of... 159 00:10:57,364 --> 00:11:00,086 Forget what I said. the point is, not to be dusting when I'm with a client. 160 00:11:00,087 --> 00:11:03,514 - Now bring me those shoes I asked for. - Ah! I understand... I brought them over already. 161 00:11:03,515 --> 00:11:06,538 - They're mountain-climbing boots. - Who needs mountain-climbing boots? 162 00:11:06,539 --> 00:11:10,672 You ought to have your head examined. The lady has beautifully tiny feet ... 163 00:11:10,673 --> 00:11:12,790 ... so small they must have been bound when she was a child. 164 00:11:12,791 --> 00:11:15,512 Like she was brought up by Chinese. Now get those 'Butterfly' sandals I asked for. 165 00:11:15,513 --> 00:11:17,334 22-D. 166 00:11:18,437 --> 00:11:22,066 It will be the perfect shoe for two lovely feet. 167 00:11:23,982 --> 00:11:27,106 - Do you still have that house in Capri? - Yes... 168 00:11:27,107 --> 00:11:29,728 - By the beach, I imagine? - Yes... it's nice and large. 169 00:11:30,129 --> 00:11:33,052 - Beg pardon... here you are, Mr. Michele! - Perfect! This style is called 'Butterfly.' 170 00:11:33,758 --> 00:11:38,697 Quite elegant... Tonino, don't you have something to do? 171 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,722 - What's the matter with you? Get to work! - Oh, yeah... turn the back... 172 00:11:41,723 --> 00:11:43,456 That's right, go stir up some dust. 173 00:11:44,257 --> 00:11:45,957 And is your husband the same as ever? 174 00:11:45,958 --> 00:11:47,973 - Oh please! Don't speak about him! - I understand... 175 00:11:48,478 --> 00:11:51,401 If every woman had such beautiful legs, how lucky they'd be. 176 00:11:51,404 --> 00:11:53,019 These fit you like a glove! 177 00:11:53,020 --> 00:11:56,867 They may feel a little tight right now, but you'll be surprised how much they'll loosen up. 178 00:11:57,072 --> 00:12:00,998 Like fine silk stockings, they flatter your beautiful legs! 179 00:12:01,607 --> 00:12:11,665 The surprising fullness here, the lovely curve of the calf, tapering here to the climax of the 'Butterfly.' 180 00:12:11,968 --> 00:12:14,899 I would probably wear shorts, or nothing less than a miniskirt, if I were you. 181 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:18,932 Legs like these deserve all the exposure they can get. Don't you agree? 182 00:12:19,134 --> 00:12:21,654 Oh, your stocking is crooked! That spoils the effect. 183 00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:26,387 Just a quick twist, and everything will be straight. Permit me... 184 00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:29,316 A twist... and straight! 185 00:12:29,317 --> 00:12:33,243 Straightening a stocking isn't something I do for everyone, but your legs... 186 00:12:33,444 --> 00:12:36,268 - Michele! - What are you shouting about? 187 00:12:36,269 --> 00:12:38,889 Can't you see I'm busy with the lady? Why are you interrupting? 188 00:12:38,890 --> 00:12:40,906 What is it? Some new shoes come in? 189 00:12:41,512 --> 00:12:44,737 - Excuse me, ma'am, my partner is calling. - Hurry back, because I'd like to try some more... 190 00:12:44,738 --> 00:12:46,552 When I get back, we'll try everything. 191 00:12:47,158 --> 00:12:50,585 - Well, what is it? - We're already in trouble, and you're fondling her thighs? 192 00:12:50,586 --> 00:12:53,207 It's because of the trouble we're in that I've been fondling her thighs. 193 00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:57,038 She's rich! You recognize her? Her husband is Fontonio Alorio. 194 00:12:58,349 --> 00:13:00,466 What do you want? What are you doing here? 195 00:13:00,467 --> 00:13:02,483 - I don't know. - Look at the cash register... 196 00:13:02,484 --> 00:13:04,903 - ... there's no one watching the cash register! - Why not put something in it to watch. 197 00:13:04,904 --> 00:13:07,524 Then put some money in it. Go, go! There's nothing in the cash register? 198 00:13:07,525 --> 00:13:09,541 - Are you telling me? - This is getting to be a crisis! 199 00:13:09,342 --> 00:13:12,769 - You know that check has disappeared? - And you think you'll find it on her thighs? 200 00:13:13,677 --> 00:13:17,104 Someone may overhear you. We're going to be in real trouble the minute that check is deposited! 201 00:13:17,307 --> 00:13:21,331 Now you tell me what I'm supposed to do if I can't play around with a lady... 202 00:13:21,332 --> 00:13:23,356 - There's Giulia Nascimbeni... - I don't want to hear anyone mention her name! 203 00:13:23,558 --> 00:13:26,078 I won't have anything to do with that portrait-painting vampire! 204 00:13:26,079 --> 00:13:30,212 That's what she was to me, a vampire! I almost had to go to the hospital for a blood transfusion! 205 00:13:30,213 --> 00:13:33,934 I nearly died! I don't even want to think about her! 206 00:13:34,141 --> 00:13:35,855 - Then don't turn around. - What did you say? 207 00:13:35,956 --> 00:13:37,368 - Don't turn around! - Why not? 208 00:13:37,369 --> 00:13:39,085 - She's right there! - She'd never dare... 209 00:13:41,098 --> 00:13:43,719 Ah, Miss Giulia! How nice of you to drop in. 210 00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:47,150 - To what do we owe this pleasant surprise? - Oh, it's pleasant, is it? 211 00:13:47,151 --> 00:13:48,651 Pleasant, thank you. Pleasant... 212 00:13:48,857 --> 00:13:55,711 I stopped by because your partner, Peppino, called to let me know about the arrival of your new spring line. 213 00:13:55,712 --> 00:13:58,031 Then I have Peppino to thank for this visit. 214 00:13:58,233 --> 00:14:01,358 I'm looking for something I can wear at night. Something in satin... 215 00:14:01,359 --> 00:14:04,584 - I'll be glad to show you... - Unfortunately, I'm in a bit of a hurry right now. 216 00:14:04,687 --> 00:14:10,732 Perhaps you could bring the shoes around a little later? Say, 10:00 at my house? 217 00:14:10,738 --> 00:14:14,057 - This evening? - Or tomorrow night... 218 00:14:14,162 --> 00:14:20,414 If I'm satisfied, Michele, I'll pay you with a check. That's acceptable, isn't it? 219 00:14:49,042 --> 00:14:52,267 Yes, yes... I need to feel all of it! 220 00:14:53,175 --> 00:14:55,393 Thrust it! Push! 221 00:14:56,502 --> 00:14:58,619 - Feels good, doesn't it? - Yes... 222 00:14:58,923 --> 00:15:04,061 - After we're done, you'll give me the... - Yes, Michele, now do my balls, darling... 223 00:15:04,568 --> 00:15:07,993 Yes, Michele! My darling! 224 00:15:10,113 --> 00:15:12,733 - Is that some kind of hint? - It's no hint, I pricked myself! 225 00:15:12,734 --> 00:15:16,867 - Look, I'm bleeding! - Oh, you bad, bad garters! 226 00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:20,597 - A little kiss will help... - I've had kisses in my day, only... 227 00:15:20,598 --> 00:15:23,118 - Be healed! - I'm healed! I'm healed! 228 00:15:23,929 --> 00:15:26,178 - I said she'd suck my blood! - Open up your heart to love ... 229 00:15:27,179 --> 00:15:29,596 ... and I will open mine. 230 00:15:29,597 --> 00:15:33,627 Oh, my little Michele... Things will be just the way they were. 231 00:15:34,627 --> 00:15:37,027 - What about your clothes, Michele? - What about my clothes? 232 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:40,460 - Why aren't you naked? - Yes! Naked! I was just about to do that. 233 00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:42,161 - And there's Schubert, too... - Where is he? 234 00:15:42,273 --> 00:15:45,400 "The Unfinished Symphony" Oh, that immortal music playing ... 235 00:15:45,401 --> 00:15:49,933 - I find Schubert so moving... - If he'd gotten up earlier, he could have finished it! 236 00:15:50,445 --> 00:15:53,671 - Hurry, while I can still feel the inspiration! - I'm hurrying. I'm hurrying! 237 00:15:53,672 --> 00:15:58,106 - And afterwards, you give me that... - Of course, Michele... anything you want! 238 00:15:58,107 --> 00:16:02,542 But no more talk. We must seize this fleeting moment before it escapes... 239 00:16:02,745 --> 00:16:07,879 - ... and thoughts of death. - Can't you talk about something more cheerful? 240 00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:15,642 - I heard footsteps. Who's that, your sister? - No, Monica's gone to see Toby... 241 00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:18,767 - She'll be gone all night. - So, your sister's finally found a man! 242 00:16:18,768 --> 00:16:22,095 - None too soon, for a woman of her age. - No, Toby is a bull, silly... 243 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,934 He's lost interest in romance. He needs someone to awaken his attraction to the opposite sex. 244 00:16:27,135 --> 00:16:29,051 Yes... I'd say she's just right for a bull! 245 00:16:29,952 --> 00:16:36,403 Michele, cast aside your seven veils! You're my Salome, revealing all to Herod and his court! 246 00:16:36,712 --> 00:16:43,258 The radiance of your manhood... I shall bind you with the chains of romance! 247 00:16:43,867 --> 00:16:46,490 - And what can break those chains? - The laxative you ordered, ma'am... 248 00:16:46,591 --> 00:16:48,904 Laxative? 249 00:16:49,505 --> 00:16:51,728 - Greetings, Giuditta! - Greetings to you, scumbag! 250 00:16:51,729 --> 00:16:55,361 I can't believe she's invited this loser back! 251 00:16:55,362 --> 00:17:00,299 - Put the tray down, and leave us, Giuditta! - She always has a kind word for her fellow man. 252 00:17:00,804 --> 00:17:05,138 - I'll fire you yet! - You've been saying that for years. Just fire her! 253 00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:08,766 She's nothing to us. Are you prepared to be immortalized? 254 00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:11,791 - Yes. - Then follow me... 255 00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:13,011 I'm almost ready... 256 00:17:16,738 --> 00:17:20,967 Hey! That's absolutely marvelous! A wonderful portrait, Giuila! 257 00:17:21,068 --> 00:17:23,488 - Even though it's unfinished... - What do you mean, unfinished? 258 00:17:23,896 --> 00:17:26,313 Ah... you mean it's missing one small detail? 259 00:17:26,516 --> 00:17:28,933 - Not so small, darling. - I'll agree with that... 260 00:17:28,934 --> 00:17:31,050 But haven't you been working on it for a year? Why isn't it finished? 261 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:35,994 Because I can't work from memory. Without the model my inspiration fades. 262 00:17:35,995 --> 00:17:39,521 - You need the real flesh and blood, eh? - Go on... get up there and pose! 263 00:17:39,522 --> 00:17:41,136 Whatever you say... 264 00:17:43,247 --> 00:17:45,463 - Halt! Stop right there! - Like this? 265 00:17:48,784 --> 00:17:51,614 Cut it out! You're exaggerating... 266 00:17:51,615 --> 00:17:54,840 - How modest you are! - What do you want to paint? My arm, or my...? 267 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,071 Please! Stop hiding behind your hands, and let me examine the details. 268 00:17:58,072 --> 00:18:00,488 You've seen it enough. You ought to know it by heart. 269 00:18:00,489 --> 00:18:02,203 - Come on, drop your hands... - Not so close... 270 00:18:02,404 --> 00:18:05,629 - Oh! Somebody's become a bit shy. - It's been some time since I... 271 00:18:05,735 --> 00:18:08,658 - Stop that! - If you'll drop your hands, perhaps I can find it! 272 00:18:08,659 --> 00:18:12,280 - Will you stop doing that! - Then stop acting so modest... 273 00:18:14,304 --> 00:18:16,623 You see, I've made you drop your hands! 274 00:18:18,733 --> 00:18:23,474 Oh my! I couldn't be mistaken. I'd recognize that anywhere! 275 00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:37,076 It's getting late. I need to get to the store. 276 00:18:37,380 --> 00:18:39,194 What about my check? 277 00:18:39,195 --> 00:18:42,017 Oh God! How can you eat? I can't even move! 278 00:18:42,018 --> 00:18:44,739 Well, before I go Giuila, how about my check? 279 00:18:45,345 --> 00:18:47,361 I know you just like to hear me beg. 280 00:18:47,362 --> 00:18:49,176 I haven't got it... 281 00:18:49,681 --> 00:18:52,302 - What did you say? - I haven't got your check. 282 00:18:53,312 --> 00:18:55,039 She doesn't have it! 283 00:18:55,540 --> 00:18:58,859 This is disgraceful! You told me you had it. Just to make me... 284 00:19:00,068 --> 00:19:02,784 - You're nothing but a dirty slut! - A dirty slut? 285 00:19:01,085 --> 00:19:05,210 I suppose your behavior has been exemplary over the past few years? 286 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:09,042 - What's happened to my check, Giuila? - I'll tell you, but you mustn't lose your temper! 287 00:19:09,143 --> 00:19:11,269 - Where is it? - I wanted to give it back to you, but Monica... 288 00:19:11,270 --> 00:19:13,260 ... well, you know how she is! 289 00:19:13,270 --> 00:19:14,770 So Monica has it? 290 00:19:16,096 --> 00:19:19,527 Since you've been so accomodating, I decided to give you 100.000. 291 00:19:19,528 --> 00:19:21,744 - Where is it? - Under the Chinese tray... 292 00:19:22,653 --> 00:19:26,794 100.000... All this for 100.000. Taking money just like a gigolo... 293 00:19:27,295 --> 00:19:29,812 Where is it? Oh... here we go. 294 00:19:30,215 --> 00:19:33,339 A 100.000 bribe to keep me from getting my check back! This money is dirty! 295 00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,457 I won't accept it! You can keep your money! 296 00:19:36,268 --> 00:19:39,389 - I'm sorry, my darling... - And I had to endure Giuditta's insults! 297 00:19:39,590 --> 00:19:43,325 I'm through. My life is over. It's finished. All my hopes dashed... 298 00:19:45,237 --> 00:19:49,969 That's the last straw! My God! That does it. I can't believe it! 299 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:55,618 I'm afraid there's only one thing left to do. 300 00:19:55,824 --> 00:19:58,743 - Wait, Michele! Come back! - What do you want? 301 00:19:58,944 --> 00:20:03,077 - You're mad to commit suicide just for me! - You're the crazy one, my dear. Not me! 302 00:20:04,489 --> 00:20:05,902 You're disgusting, put some clothes on... 303 00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:09,431 Is someone there? I said, is someone there? 304 00:20:09,938 --> 00:20:12,355 No... it's just me, Michele. 305 00:20:14,875 --> 00:20:18,302 Michele Cammagliulo. At your service... 306 00:20:18,344 --> 00:20:21,428 You must be out of your mind! What do mean by smoking in here! 307 00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,848 Everyone knows that cows are allergic to smoke! 308 00:20:23,949 --> 00:20:28,684 But I didn't know! Oh... you mean dairy animals? My apologies for upsetting them. 309 00:20:29,091 --> 00:20:32,115 Now listen, miss, I know you have something with my name on it. 310 00:20:32,116 --> 00:20:34,434 - I assume you're talking about your check. - Good guess... 311 00:20:34,435 --> 00:20:37,357 Save your breath. I have no intention of giving it to you. You already know my answer! 312 00:20:37,771 --> 00:20:40,594 No! But why? I intend to pay you cash. A small amount every week. 313 00:20:40,595 --> 00:20:44,316 With interest at the bank rate. On my honor... 314 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,042 Help me, miss. You're the only hope I have left! 315 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,164 I'll promise you one thing. Or rather, I'll swear it! 316 00:20:50,267 --> 00:20:53,895 Just give me that check, and I'll never bother that fat cow of a sister... 317 00:20:53,896 --> 00:20:56,114 I mean, I'll never bother your sister again! 318 00:20:56,115 --> 00:21:00,449 Ha! Why don't you try a new story for a change? I'm guessing you can't cover that check! 319 00:21:00,450 --> 00:21:05,792 And when you can't cover it, you're going to find yourself at the end of your rope. 320 00:21:05,793 --> 00:21:09,119 And if you have any sense left, you'll hang yourself with it. 321 00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:12,950 Now get out of here while I give this bull a booster shot! He's suddenly become impotent. 322 00:21:13,051 --> 00:21:15,468 - Has he? - An example you should follow... 323 00:21:15,570 --> 00:21:17,291 I'm sorry, but about the check... 324 00:21:17,292 --> 00:21:21,424 The check? It'll be deposited tomorrow morning. And when it bounces you'll have to cough up or go to jail. 325 00:21:21,425 --> 00:21:24,848 There's no better place for people like you! Filthy parasite! 326 00:21:24,949 --> 00:21:27,165 - You're being unfair. - Oh yeah? 327 00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:31,199 Many people may think your cynicism is real, but not me. 328 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,720 You're a warm and loving woman! 329 00:21:34,124 --> 00:21:37,954 I know what you're really like. A willing and passionate person. 330 00:21:38,459 --> 00:21:41,180 - Come on... - That's enough! I'm on to you! 331 00:21:41,181 --> 00:21:45,112 So please don't feed me that crap! This place is already full of bull shit! 332 00:21:45,113 --> 00:21:48,843 I'm not impressed by it, mister! Now you get out of here! 333 00:21:48,844 --> 00:21:54,286 You make me sick, just like the rest of your sex! I'd rather keep company with my cows any day! 334 00:21:54,287 --> 00:21:59,126 You're barking up the wrong tree, dear! Don't try to treat me the way you do my sister! 335 00:21:59,127 --> 00:22:02,858 You may have her under your thumb, but don't try flirting with me, or you'll find out! 336 00:22:02,859 --> 00:22:06,785 - But I was just trying to... - Have you forgotten your manners? 337 00:22:06,786 --> 00:22:09,308 Putting your big, filthy hands on an unprotected woman? 338 00:22:09,511 --> 00:22:13,442 Why, you ought to be in jail! Take your hands off me, or I'll... 339 00:22:13,443 --> 00:22:16,971 - So you do love me, Monica! - Sex maniac... leave me alone! 340 00:22:16,974 --> 00:22:18,789 - Come back! - Get out of here! 341 00:22:18,790 --> 00:22:20,805 You dirty pervert! Get out! 342 00:22:24,531 --> 00:22:28,769 - I love you, Monica! This is bigger than both of us! - The hell it is! Leave me alone... get out! 343 00:22:35,524 --> 00:22:37,741 - I want my coat back! - No, Monica! 344 00:22:37,742 --> 00:22:39,258 - Let go! - I want you, Monica... 345 00:22:39,367 --> 00:22:41,790 - I worship you! - It's mine! 346 00:22:41,791 --> 00:22:43,914 You're mine! All mine, Monica! 347 00:22:44,214 --> 00:22:46,625 - Let me go! - No... you're mine now! 348 00:22:46,626 --> 00:22:49,126 We'll dance together, my love... 349 00:22:49,127 --> 00:22:50,627 I don't feel like dancing! 350 00:22:50,628 --> 00:22:52,528 - What's gotten into you? - Just a glimpse of your skin... 351 00:22:54,076 --> 00:22:58,911 Put me down, you bully! You better leave me alone, you hear? 352 00:22:59,719 --> 00:23:02,646 Take your filthy hands off my ass! 353 00:23:02,847 --> 00:23:04,247 Watch out for the pail! 354 00:23:06,555 --> 00:23:09,271 Look out! I'm... I'm falling! 355 00:23:12,336 --> 00:23:15,959 Stop that! Get your filthy paws off me! 356 00:23:16,368 --> 00:23:21,508 No! Stop! Get out of here, you dirty, no good... 357 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,836 No! Not my shirt! 358 00:23:43,564 --> 00:23:46,567 Oh, Michele! Michele... 359 00:23:50,197 --> 00:23:54,430 It's totally beyond me, how you changed your mind so suddenly. 360 00:23:55,439 --> 00:24:01,487 About Michele! Last week you couldn't stand him, and this week you have him working for you. 361 00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:04,612 What about it? I judged him too quickly, that's all. 362 00:24:04,613 --> 00:24:11,867 I'll admit, I underrated him completely. He has talent, so why should I refuse to hire him for his past mistakes? 363 00:24:11,968 --> 00:24:16,999 And what about you? Asking me to delay depositing Michele's check because it was no good. 364 00:24:17,013 --> 00:24:19,029 So he came to the barn to make an installment payment ... 365 00:24:19,030 --> 00:24:21,648 - ... the same as he pays you? - Me? 366 00:24:22,052 --> 00:24:24,874 Oh, by the way, Caminata ... 367 00:24:26,085 --> 00:24:27,899 Plus many other cordial returns. 368 00:24:28,001 --> 00:24:31,730 This evening you're in for a change. Tonight I'm going to win! 369 00:24:32,437 --> 00:24:35,560 Sorry, but you'll probably be paying off on every hand. 370 00:24:36,770 --> 00:24:41,106 Practicing? Of course I'm practicing. You have money to burn, but I need to practice. 371 00:24:41,107 --> 00:24:44,232 You've been lucky so far, but tonight you've had it! 372 00:24:44,434 --> 00:24:46,349 Let's see what you have here, Caminata. 373 00:24:46,350 --> 00:24:49,374 A pair of aces. You can bet your ass you won't get far with a hand like that! 374 00:24:49,375 --> 00:24:53,105 Now, Belleviste, let's see what your hand looks like. 375 00:24:53,106 --> 00:24:56,935 Nothing ... very poor. Don't worry, it's just the way of the world. 376 00:24:57,541 --> 00:25:00,868 Let's see now, Rienzi... I'll just look at your hand if you don't mind. 377 00:25:00,869 --> 00:25:04,800 We're friends, aren't we? How about that! You have a straight, you old fool! 378 00:25:05,002 --> 00:25:07,119 I'll put the evil eye on that one... I'll bet my hand is perfect! 379 00:25:08,833 --> 00:25:12,761 Well, how about that! I've got a full house here, guys... 380 00:25:13,014 --> 00:25:14,479 It happens to me every now and then. 381 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,294 You saw me deal every card. I wasn't cheating, was I? 382 00:25:16,295 --> 00:25:18,511 You cut the cards, Rienzi - everything's okay! 383 00:25:18,715 --> 00:25:21,737 Now, you'll open with a pair of aces. And you're out... 384 00:25:22,143 --> 00:25:24,359 You double the pot. I'll triple it... 385 00:25:26,373 --> 00:25:27,884 You raise? 386 00:25:27,886 --> 00:25:30,053 Caminata, with what you're holding you must be out of your mind! 387 00:25:30,458 --> 00:25:32,272 Fine with me. We're happy to take your money! 388 00:25:32,273 --> 00:25:35,700 Bet all you want to bet! Three cards to Caminata... 389 00:25:37,213 --> 00:25:39,629 Now Caminata's in a fix with... 390 00:25:41,749 --> 00:25:43,765 Four aces!! 391 00:25:43,766 --> 00:25:46,689 Jesus! I get the feeling that this game is too much for me... 392 00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:48,807 Why don't I just give up? 393 00:25:48,808 --> 00:25:50,824 I even lose money playing against myself! 394 00:25:50,926 --> 00:25:52,740 What a jerk! 395 00:25:59,564 --> 00:26:04,232 Now, let me see. In July, milk prices... 396 00:26:07,555 --> 00:26:11,385 - I thought I heard someone. Good morning Giuditta. - You think it's good, do you? 397 00:26:11,386 --> 00:26:15,519 You think anyone can sleep in this house, with you going up the stairs and down the stairs all night ... 398 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:19,048 - ... just to keep those two degenerates happy? - Hey, wait a minute! 399 00:26:19,049 --> 00:26:22,677 You're the maid, remember? No one asked you to keep an eye on me. 400 00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:26,508 - I work here the same as you. - Except my work is done during the day... 401 00:26:27,316 --> 00:26:31,751 Never say things like that, Giuditta. You should always appear to know nothing about it. 402 00:26:31,752 --> 00:26:35,383 You must appear to be totally ignorant of the matter. We want no scandals for the ladies. 403 00:26:35,586 --> 00:26:38,307 Well of course it's perfect! Nothing could be better for him. 404 00:26:38,308 --> 00:26:41,332 As long as we keep Michele in the dark ... like taking communion with the Pope. 405 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:44,357 We can keep it quiet from the others. 406 00:26:44,358 --> 00:26:48,390 They're too wrapped up in their own affairs! And Michele isn't the sort to notice anything. 407 00:26:48,391 --> 00:26:52,221 He's too full of himself to suspect us... 408 00:26:52,222 --> 00:26:55,246 You're right. How many times have you and I said this is the perfect situation? 409 00:26:55,952 --> 00:26:59,984 As for tonight, you may have Michele before me. I have a book to finish. 410 00:26:59,985 --> 00:27:04,117 Why should I take your turn, Giulia? I don't mind. Some leftovers taste better reheated! 411 00:27:04,118 --> 00:27:05,632 Monica, I'm shocked! 412 00:27:05,733 --> 00:27:10,369 Oh no you're not! You haven't been shocked since you caught papa behind the old woodpile! 413 00:27:10,370 --> 00:27:14,100 So, Monica, where will you be screwing Michele? In the chicken coop again? 414 00:27:14,101 --> 00:27:18,032 It suits me. It's more natural there, among the chickens! 415 00:27:18,833 --> 00:27:22,568 You know what really turns me one? The smell! 416 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:27,004 What does this smell like? It smells of bulls, heifers, and the barnyard! 417 00:27:27,005 --> 00:27:31,339 - It will cost you a fortune to have me wash these! -Yes, your prices are outrageous for a couple of shirts! 418 00:27:31,542 --> 00:27:34,364 - Considering that I'm part of the family now... - Oh, are you now? 419 00:27:34,365 --> 00:27:38,094 - You're just around here to keep everyone happy. - Please don't start on me, Giuditta... 420 00:27:38,095 --> 00:27:42,329 You ought to have someone here to help you. I have an idea. Come here... 421 00:27:42,330 --> 00:27:46,765 - When have you ever had an idea? - Let's play a game of cards for payment on the shirts ... 422 00:27:46,766 --> 00:27:52,505 - ... and I'll wager double or nothing! - Oh no! You're not going to cheat me again! 423 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,334 There goes my income... 424 00:28:07,314 --> 00:28:08,528 Michele! 425 00:28:15,079 --> 00:28:18,707 Michele! What are you doing? Playing cards? 426 00:28:19,012 --> 00:28:21,027 No! Certainly not. I'm working! 427 00:28:21,028 --> 00:28:23,951 - You'd rather be playing cards, right? - No... I'm working on these accounts! 428 00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:27,983 Don't! It's just one more thing for the tax collector to poke his nose into! 429 00:28:27,984 --> 00:28:29,899 - But, why... ?? - Just do as I say! 430 00:28:29,900 --> 00:28:32,521 I want you to go down to the station and pick up that load of phosphate! 431 00:28:32,522 --> 00:28:34,840 - You want me to go? - Yes, please - and take my car! 432 00:28:34,841 --> 00:28:37,160 - Thanks a lot! - And another thing... 433 00:28:37,161 --> 00:28:39,277 ... the ventilator on the chicken coop is full of feathers. 434 00:28:39,278 --> 00:28:42,705 I have a hectic day ahead of me, darling, but I thought we might go take a look at it tonight. 435 00:28:43,210 --> 00:28:45,428 - Look, tonight is out of the question... - Be there at 11:00 on the dot! 436 00:28:45,429 --> 00:28:51,577 - Yes, ma'am! - And don't forget to call the manure man! 437 00:28:51,578 --> 00:28:53,997 - My pleasure... - Michele! Sweetheart... 438 00:28:54,502 --> 00:28:58,231 - There's something of yours on the floor, lover... - Something of mine on the floor? 439 00:28:58,232 --> 00:29:02,163 Use your eyes! It's right in front of you! That's it! 440 00:29:02,767 --> 00:29:05,491 Oh, this isn't mine! It probably belongs to Giuditta. 441 00:29:05,492 --> 00:29:08,010 - I'll see you later! - Sure, what's left of me... 442 00:29:08,415 --> 00:29:10,028 Bitch! 443 00:29:10,146 --> 00:29:15,170 Who would ever have believed that a stud like Michele would end up as her handy man? 444 00:29:16,279 --> 00:29:19,710 Yeah... it's all your fault! Someday I'll take the scissors to you! 445 00:29:20,917 --> 00:29:26,259 Add it up. Tonight I lost 900.000 lire, thanks to that rigged deck belonging to Caminata. 446 00:29:27,570 --> 00:29:32,509 I lost 700 the other evening. That's 1.600.000... 447 00:29:33,115 --> 00:29:37,046 How will I get my hands on that amount? I can't ask for any more money... 448 00:29:37,047 --> 00:29:40,978 Giulia's given me two years worth of advances! 449 00:29:41,180 --> 00:29:44,506 Her sister expects me to do double duty for every single lire! 450 00:29:45,519 --> 00:29:48,442 It's the living end! This life is killing me... 451 00:29:49,653 --> 00:29:53,785 This is for the birds! Sleeping just a couple hours a night. Look what a mess you've become! 452 00:29:53,786 --> 00:29:57,516 Shadows under your eyes. When you sit down to play cards, Michele, ... 453 00:29:57,517 --> 00:30:01,145 ... you're playing with a lot more than just cards! You're also using your personality! 454 00:30:01,146 --> 00:30:03,565 And you're blessed with good looks... 455 00:30:05,375 --> 00:30:09,808 Are you stupid? Caminata is beating the pants off of you! 456 00:30:10,109 --> 00:30:11,609 There has to be a reason. 457 00:30:13,244 --> 00:30:15,559 God... this is giving me a headache! 458 00:30:16,264 --> 00:30:22,717 A voice in my brain repeats continually: "A jerk! You're a jerk! That's what you are." 459 00:30:26,646 --> 00:30:31,186 No... that was a real sound. Coming from the bathroom... 460 00:30:32,899 --> 00:30:36,528 A vision to behold. Incredible! Unforeseen! 461 00:30:37,229 --> 00:30:43,277 Sitting there so completely vulnerable, her senses alive, yet so slender and fragile! 462 00:30:43,278 --> 00:30:48,524 In the flush... and fragrance of youth. 463 00:30:48,629 --> 00:30:53,660 - But who is she? - She speaks, and her voice is warmed ... 464 00:30:53,661 --> 00:30:58,503 ... with awakening desires, and full of innuendo. 465 00:30:59,044 --> 00:31:00,923 Why in hell does the shower not work? 466 00:31:01,324 --> 00:31:06,456 - No, no, no... - Yes, yes, someone broke the handle. 467 00:31:06,767 --> 00:31:09,690 "Why in hell does the shower not work?" is impossible! 468 00:31:09,691 --> 00:31:12,715 - It's completely fake! - You're expecting a lot, don't you think? 469 00:31:12,716 --> 00:31:15,438 What is this woman? Is she a nymphomaniac? 470 00:31:15,439 --> 00:31:17,454 - What do you think? - I don't ... 471 00:31:17,455 --> 00:31:22,394 The characters in this book don't exist! This is a real girl, one that is named Eva! 472 00:31:22,395 --> 00:31:27,032 - And what's this one named? - You think the moment a woman sees a man ... 473 00:31:27,033 --> 00:31:29,149 ... she goes like this? No! 474 00:31:29,151 --> 00:31:31,267 Or like this? No! 475 00:31:31,571 --> 00:31:33,990 Or like this? No! 476 00:31:33,991 --> 00:31:37,317 Or like this? No! 477 00:31:37,623 --> 00:31:41,450 Excuse me, Alberto, but you have no idea how a woman thinks! 478 00:31:41,451 --> 00:31:44,475 I'm straining all my faculties... 479 00:31:44,476 --> 00:31:47,298 ... trying as hard as I can to bring out the best in this wife of mine ... 480 00:31:47,299 --> 00:31:49,718 ... and all I get is "Why in hell does the shower not work?" !! 481 00:31:50,223 --> 00:31:53,146 Incredible! That's the end of me, isn't it? 482 00:31:53,147 --> 00:31:56,977 - Yes, incredible... - It's not the end! You're mad! 483 00:31:56,978 --> 00:32:02,320 You want my honest opionion, darling? Your work isn't as good as Goethe's! 484 00:32:02,321 --> 00:32:04,740 Are you kidding? Goethe couldn't write his own name! 485 00:32:05,548 --> 00:32:07,965 How dare you touch me! What do you take me for? 486 00:32:08,473 --> 00:32:09,889 I don't believe it... 487 00:32:10,190 --> 00:32:14,019 You think this is just a children's book? Hell no, Auntie! 488 00:32:16,844 --> 00:32:22,488 This book is adult... different! It's an outspoken, satirical view of sexual taboos. 489 00:32:22,489 --> 00:32:24,604 Taking up where my first book left off, if you'll recall. 490 00:32:24,605 --> 00:32:27,731 I read it! It's filth! A man in love with a goldfish ... 491 00:32:27,732 --> 00:32:30,958 ... a mackerel that leaves the other fish because he prefers the circus fat lady. 492 00:32:30,959 --> 00:32:35,091 - A satire on society, Giuila... - Society found in the big city, but not around here. 493 00:32:35,092 --> 00:32:38,516 We keep our underpants on in the provinces! Morality still means something to us! 494 00:32:38,517 --> 00:32:39,931 That's feminine psychology for you, Michele! 495 00:32:39,932 --> 00:32:43,762 I offer a rational argument for feminism, and my aunts give me nothing but a lot of ... 496 00:32:43,763 --> 00:32:46,082 - Fancy foot work. - Exactly! There's no such thing as ... 497 00:32:46,083 --> 00:32:49,907 ... the provinces anymore! Let me read where this point is beautifully illustrated. ... 498 00:32:49,914 --> 00:32:54,139 ... in the first chapter of my latest book, which was very well received at Biarritz, ... 499 00:32:54,943 --> 00:32:56,362 My glasses... ? 500 00:32:56,466 --> 00:33:01,001 Listen, Aunt Monica, there are dreadful scandals going on under your provincial noses, but they're kept quiet. 501 00:33:01,002 --> 00:33:04,830 - What scandals? - If there are, it's because of all you writers... 502 00:33:04,831 --> 00:33:07,855 - ... spreading your filth all over the country! - Including my pants. 503 00:33:09,670 --> 00:33:12,996 - Oh, your pants are ruined! - What has he done to himself? 504 00:33:12,997 --> 00:33:17,836 - The best way to remove a gravy stain is... - No, I'll get it! You're don't know... 505 00:33:18,441 --> 00:33:20,457 Please! Watch it there! 506 00:33:20,763 --> 00:33:23,784 - What's going on? - Michele has soiled his pants... 507 00:33:24,289 --> 00:33:26,305 - That's not true! - There! But not by you... 508 00:33:26,306 --> 00:33:29,833 Can I please finish my dinner? Stop it! Get away! 509 00:33:32,145 --> 00:33:34,774 - Please continue... - My point is, in the 20th century, ... 510 00:33:34,775 --> 00:33:39,203 - ... everyone is immoral to some degree. - You're being self-righteous! 511 00:33:39,204 --> 00:33:43,335 A man can always take a lover without it being cause for scandal. 512 00:33:43,336 --> 00:33:47,570 It's a natural, healthy thing. But a man who writes about perversity is probably neurotic. 513 00:33:47,772 --> 00:33:50,800 - Possibly he's sick, or completely impotent! - Of course... 514 00:33:51,107 --> 00:33:56,448 And a man who thinks he's desirable to all women is worse than stupid - he's an idiot! 515 00:33:57,458 --> 00:33:59,474 Eva believes in being completely honest! 516 00:34:00,686 --> 00:34:04,414 I've heard enough from you! You're nothing but a bourgeois reactionary! 517 00:34:04,516 --> 00:34:08,548 - Look who's talking! - A writer who knows the ways of the world! 518 00:34:08,549 --> 00:34:10,564 Yeah... the underworld! 519 00:34:12,579 --> 00:34:13,992 Always gets her two cents in... 520 00:34:13,993 --> 00:34:16,412 - Thank you. - I'm paid to do this, lady... 521 00:34:18,631 --> 00:34:22,360 - What's on that plate, dear? - It's a macro-biotic lunch. 522 00:34:22,563 --> 00:34:25,183 It's much better than the miserable stuff you're eating! 523 00:34:25,184 --> 00:34:30,221 Sesame seeds, soy beans, chickpeas, lentils, and rice in mussel juice. 524 00:34:30,627 --> 00:34:32,246 Good, eh? 525 00:34:33,503 --> 00:34:36,688 Alberto has never sold a single copy of his books, and he pays a professional binder ... 526 00:34:36,689 --> 00:34:38,808 - ... and printer to have them published! - Your pulling my leg. 527 00:34:38,809 --> 00:34:40,831 - No! I'm not joking! - Your hand! 528 00:34:40,832 --> 00:34:43,332 - What about my hand? - Your hand! It's hurting my leg 529 00:34:43,432 --> 00:34:44,846 - You're just too sensitive! - Too sensitive... 530 00:34:45,147 --> 00:34:47,580 Will you stop making mush out of that macro- biotic stuff, and eat some real meat and potatoes? 531 00:34:47,581 --> 00:34:50,899 It's not every day you can enjoy a meal like this! 532 00:34:50,900 --> 00:34:53,115 - Try my meat and potatoes? - No! 533 00:34:53,416 --> 00:34:55,835 - I don't want any part of your meat, thank you! - Why not? 534 00:34:55,836 --> 00:34:58,255 - Your meat's inedible! - Oh yeah? Ask her... 535 00:35:01,856 --> 00:35:03,287 Try some... ? 536 00:35:03,388 --> 00:35:06,016 No thanks! I'd probably start to sprout some sunflower seeds . 537 00:35:06,017 --> 00:35:08,536 Imagine... feeling all that vegetation growing inside you. 538 00:35:08,538 --> 00:35:11,514 - How about you, Aunt Giuila? - I think I'll be sick. 539 00:35:11,515 --> 00:35:15,438 Try it, it's good! I think you'll like the chickpeas... 540 00:35:15,561 --> 00:35:20,085 - No, my child! But Michele will like it... - Ah... Michele. So you like this? 541 00:35:20,086 --> 00:35:25,629 - Do you prefer the front or the rear? - Front or rear - just shove it in my mouth! 542 00:35:26,142 --> 00:35:28,259 - How is it? - Good, good... 543 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:32,484 Bravo, Michele! You have very good taste! Bravo! 544 00:35:32,489 --> 00:35:36,008 Leave Michele alone! He's not a macro-maniac, like you! 545 00:35:38,141 --> 00:35:41,164 - Come back! I was just beginning to... - Don't let her impose upon you ... 546 00:35:41,165 --> 00:35:44,887 ... because I'm about to impose upon you instead! 547 00:35:44,888 --> 00:35:47,519 I'd like you to read the book I've just finished. 548 00:35:47,922 --> 00:35:53,970 Yes! Do that! You'll make Alberto happy, and he won't have to waste good money getting the stupid thing printed. 549 00:35:53,971 --> 00:35:56,289 It's his money! Let him throw it away if he wants to. 550 00:35:57,196 --> 00:36:01,935 Don't let her upset you. And her odd diet is harmless. 551 00:36:01,936 --> 00:36:03,550 It's good for... 552 00:36:03,651 --> 00:36:06,573 I know it's good for my head and juices! 553 00:36:06,574 --> 00:36:12,116 - Ah... it isn't "succo lo" [juice], it's "su collo" [neck]. - Ah, my head and neck! Right? 554 00:36:12,521 --> 00:36:17,460 I say, this foreigner doesn't know our language! She could be speaking Balinese! 555 00:36:18,069 --> 00:36:20,486 Mmmm... look at these yummies... 556 00:36:21,796 --> 00:36:24,618 Here, Eva. Have a cream puff! Something to satisfy your sweet tooth! 557 00:36:24,619 --> 00:36:27,342 You Germans are brought up on fattening pastries, right? 558 00:36:27,543 --> 00:36:30,365 I'm sorry, but I don't care for cream puffs. 559 00:36:30,568 --> 00:36:34,804 Hey, Alberto! I see you like cream puffs! 560 00:36:35,305 --> 00:36:37,726 - How about the long ones? - No! 561 00:36:37,727 --> 00:36:39,742 - Excuse me... - What, do you have to leave, Giuila? 562 00:36:39,743 --> 00:36:41,356 - I'm late... - Where are you going? 563 00:36:41,357 --> 00:36:46,800 St. Stephen's parish house. The pastor is having young men and women in for a prayer session. 564 00:36:46,801 --> 00:36:48,816 - Along with a few old balls... - You old goat! 565 00:36:48,817 --> 00:36:50,934 Here's the whiskey! 566 00:36:51,943 --> 00:36:55,975 Oh! It's after 3:00. There's a television show I need to watch. 567 00:36:55,976 --> 00:36:58,997 I don't want to miss the only program dedicated to agriculture! 568 00:36:59,504 --> 00:37:01,823 - The muses summon! - You're leaving too? 569 00:37:01,824 --> 00:37:04,344 - Yeah, I have to work on my book. - Leaving me here alone with ... 570 00:37:04,549 --> 00:37:07,872 - Would you mind keeping an eye on Eva? - Well, if you like... 571 00:37:07,873 --> 00:37:11,905 - And you keep an eye on Michele, darling... - As long as the lady doesn't have anything else... 572 00:37:13,116 --> 00:37:16,341 - I'm busy this afternoon. - She says, go ahead, she's okay. 573 00:37:16,745 --> 00:37:19,164 - I heard you're a lady killer. - Am I ? 574 00:37:19,367 --> 00:37:22,290 - What about it? - Have you killed many ladies? 575 00:37:22,492 --> 00:37:24,508 - What? - You murder them! 576 00:37:24,509 --> 00:37:28,743 It doesn't mean that at all! It simply means a man who impresses the ladies. 577 00:37:28,744 --> 00:37:30,759 - Who told you that? - Alberto... 578 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,776 - Your husband? - He picks up on the gossip... 579 00:37:32,777 --> 00:37:35,095 - That's all it is. I don't... - Let's have some fun! 580 00:37:36,205 --> 00:37:38,221 - Right now? - Yes... right now! 581 00:37:38,222 --> 00:37:42,556 I don't know. What do you call fun? What do you usually do after lunch? Go to bed with your... 582 00:37:42,557 --> 00:37:45,480 - No! Nothing doing! - I'm sorry! I wasn't suggesting anything... 583 00:37:46,489 --> 00:37:48,511 Would you like to play a game for small stakes? 584 00:37:48,517 --> 00:37:51,237 - A game for small stakes? - Yes... if you have any cards with you. 585 00:37:51,438 --> 00:37:56,877 Cards? Of course! Would you like to play canasta, whist, crazy eights, bridge? 586 00:37:56,978 --> 00:38:00,909 No! I want a card game I heard of in Naples where they played for a pot. 587 00:38:00,910 --> 00:38:04,635 - Ah... briscola? - No! - Crazy eights? - No! 588 00:38:05,136 --> 00:38:07,650 - Was it "scopa" [fuck] ? - Yes! It was scopa! 589 00:38:07,653 --> 00:38:09,868 - Are you sure? - Sure! Why not? 590 00:38:11,747 --> 00:38:16,517 Lovely lady, I would love to play scopa... 591 00:38:16,529 --> 00:38:20,518 Yes? Then go play with yourself, lady killer! 592 00:38:22,837 --> 00:38:25,559 Come on, it's 7:00, you liar! You promised you'd be here at 6:00. 593 00:38:25,660 --> 00:38:27,676 - I was up late... - You're falling down on your duties! 594 00:38:27,677 --> 00:38:31,003 - So why are you so late? - Because your guest kept me up after midnight! 595 00:38:31,004 --> 00:38:32,919 It would have been bad manners to trot off to bed. 596 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,334 You could still get up early. Isn't that Alberto amazing? 597 00:38:34,335 --> 00:38:36,753 - Yeah, amazingly repulsive! - And Eva? 598 00:38:36,754 --> 00:38:38,468 - Can you imagine what his life must be like? - Do you like Eva? 599 00:38:38,469 --> 00:38:41,092 - Dull and boring... - I'm asking you about Eva, his wife. 600 00:38:41,093 --> 00:38:44,108 Oh, that girl? That disgusting food she made me... 601 00:38:43,009 --> 00:38:47,938 - ... you said was delicious! - You recall I said it with my best poker face... 602 00:38:48,439 --> 00:38:50,209 Come on, big boy! It's late ... get your pants off! 603 00:38:51,060 --> 00:38:53,183 Speaking of late... she's the reason I wasn't in bed last night. 604 00:38:53,184 --> 00:38:57,318 I mean, she's the reason I was up so late. At midnight, she got the cards out to play with me! 605 00:38:57,319 --> 00:39:00,644 - She vanted to play ze cards mitt you? - You can't expect these Germans to know... 606 00:39:02,660 --> 00:39:04,876 Oh, no! Watch out for the chickens! 607 00:39:04,984 --> 00:39:08,207 They're very expensive birds! The poor chicks... they'll be crushed! 608 00:39:09,214 --> 00:39:14,254 - Ah... right in the... - Forget the pain! I'll kiss it and make it better! 609 00:39:14,459 --> 00:39:18,290 I'll be all right, Monica... I've got more crap on me than you'd ever want to kiss! 610 00:39:18,493 --> 00:39:24,940 The firey stars are wondering when my love... Michele! You've really touched my heart! 611 00:39:25,043 --> 00:39:28,973 Foreswear thy family and renounce thy name and be no more Romeo... 612 00:39:28,976 --> 00:39:33,008 - Remember Romeo's balcony scene? - I don't care about Romeo, this isn't my scene! 613 00:39:33,022 --> 00:39:37,754 I came through the window to avoid being seen. 614 00:39:38,055 --> 00:39:39,855 What are you doing? 615 00:39:40,567 --> 00:39:44,296 - Chicken manure does wash off, dear. - I haven't been doing anything with the chickens. 616 00:39:44,297 --> 00:39:48,127 This smell came from the plaster walls of the house. Every day this place gets more crowded! 617 00:39:48,229 --> 00:39:50,749 Having your sister here is one thing, but now Alberto, and that wife of his! 618 00:39:50,750 --> 00:39:54,182 Alberto? Oh, he's nothing! Forget him! Come on, I hear the musicians calling. 619 00:39:54,183 --> 00:39:55,799 Great... are they here too? 620 00:40:07,984 --> 00:40:11,110 And when he looked... he looked with his eyes. 621 00:40:12,121 --> 00:40:14,039 When he had looked, he looked again! 622 00:40:14,647 --> 00:40:16,888 And when he looked, he looked as a man looks for the first time on a naked woman! 623 00:40:19,090 --> 00:40:21,636 And as he looked, lost with delight, he cried ... 624 00:40:21,637 --> 00:40:26,672 ... you're mine. Mine. Yes, all mine! But she was impassive ... 625 00:40:26,373 --> 00:40:35,909 ... impenetrable, imperious, unimpressed by his impetupous imprecations! 626 00:40:35,910 --> 00:40:40,647 He slowly slid her silk stockings down the slender stems of her sensuous legs! 627 00:40:40,648 --> 00:40:46,998 He strained his face, insensible to the surging, seathing sensation she stirred in his susceptible soul. 628 00:40:46,999 --> 00:40:50,728 The anguish of his agony ached anxiously in amorous ambivalence. 629 00:40:50,729 --> 00:40:53,052 Get out of the way! Get out of the way! 630 00:40:53,054 --> 00:40:57,086 The fact that fever fought to fan the flaming fury of his foolish heart. 631 00:40:57,087 --> 00:40:59,355 Away! Be gone! Enough, he shouted! 632 00:40:59,356 --> 00:41:02,227 Go fuck yourself, you little pervert! 633 00:41:02,228 --> 00:41:05,452 Now I've got to work on the B's. Did you like it? 634 00:41:06,057 --> 00:41:09,280 I've had enough of the writing! When do I get some of the real thing? 635 00:41:09,281 --> 00:41:11,305 Not now! I have to write while I'm inspired! 636 00:41:11,306 --> 00:41:13,725 - I know that kind of pressure! - Where's the dictionary? 637 00:41:14,733 --> 00:41:17,954 - Good night... - Good night... - It's just a game, eh? 638 00:41:18,665 --> 00:41:21,587 They obviously pity me, after I've lost the shirt off my back. 639 00:41:22,196 --> 00:41:24,521 So, Cammagliulo, how did I end up? 640 00:41:26,732 --> 00:41:29,355 I count 2.400.000 ... is that right? 641 00:41:29,979 --> 00:41:38,925 2.400.00 lire. Michele Cammagliulo... Put this with the rest of my autographs. 642 00:41:40,337 --> 00:41:43,664 Here... Are you going to deposit this in the bank? 643 00:41:43,665 --> 00:41:46,382 - Of course I'm going to deposit it! - Would you do me a favor? 644 00:41:46,583 --> 00:41:50,401 - Let me see... on Sunday, I have the picture. - What picture? 645 00:41:50,622 --> 00:41:55,142 Nothing... just something on my mind. Monday with the chickens, Tuesday with the diva... 646 00:41:55,143 --> 00:41:57,061 With who? I hope you're not trying to cry poor with me. 647 00:41:57,062 --> 00:42:01,289 I'm afraid I am short on funds right now. But you have my word this will be good on Wednesday. 648 00:42:01,290 --> 00:42:05,941 All right, but don't let this happen again! I don't how they do it in Naples, but around here ... 649 00:42:05,942 --> 00:42:09,676 ... you pay what you owe immediately, otherwise the limit is never more than 24 hours! 650 00:42:17,643 --> 00:42:19,457 Just in time! 651 00:42:20,869 --> 00:42:23,689 - Take the tray! - Very thoughtful of you, Giuditta... 652 00:42:23,990 --> 00:42:27,119 - But I prefer it in the kitchen. - Don't think I fixed that for you! 653 00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,446 - No? This isn't my breakfast? - I'm going into town to mail some letters. 654 00:42:30,447 --> 00:42:33,473 The German girl called for a tray, so take it to her! 655 00:42:33,674 --> 00:42:37,401 Sure... but do you take me for some kind of hired man? 656 00:42:37,705 --> 00:42:40,529 I try to do my share around here, but this is quite an imposition! 657 00:42:40,830 --> 00:42:43,754 Having to carry trays around! How come Alberto's wife gets treated special? 658 00:42:43,956 --> 00:42:45,873 - Any reason? - It so happens that she tips better! 659 00:42:45,874 --> 00:42:47,690 Just what I thought... 660 00:42:49,510 --> 00:42:54,540 Look at this. Talk about a diet! Biscuits, tomato juice, a pot of tea... Coming right up! 661 00:43:01,899 --> 00:43:03,313 Just keep on typing... 662 00:43:12,581 --> 00:43:14,196 Come in! 663 00:43:21,754 --> 00:43:24,979 - Good morning... - You know this is good for clearing the mind? 664 00:43:27,051 --> 00:43:31,077 - Why are you here? - It happens that Giuditta had to go out ... 665 00:43:31,078 --> 00:43:34,203 ... and rather than keeping you waiting, I thought I'd, uh... 666 00:43:35,517 --> 00:43:37,031 Where do I put it? 667 00:43:39,094 --> 00:43:40,609 Right here! 668 00:43:40,811 --> 00:43:42,729 - There? - Ah... here. 669 00:43:43,131 --> 00:43:45,650 - Move! - I'm moving... 670 00:43:49,784 --> 00:43:55,320 - Are you sure you didn't want to bring it up? - What up? Uh... bring what up? 671 00:43:55,532 --> 00:43:59,058 - You wanted to come to my room, no? - I'm not the kind of person who... 672 00:43:59,059 --> 00:44:01,579 You realized that I'm alone here most of the time. 673 00:44:01,580 --> 00:44:04,402 - Yes? - Yeah... I realize that... 674 00:44:04,403 --> 00:44:07,729 - Get away! - Sugar? You didn't add any sugar to... 675 00:44:07,730 --> 00:44:10,250 No! You're not going to put any poison in my system! 676 00:44:13,075 --> 00:44:19,020 Yeah... with Alberto it's always the book. Aunt Giuila is always painting, so she has no time to talk. 677 00:44:19,021 --> 00:44:21,045 And Monica is busy with her chickens! 678 00:44:22,901 --> 00:44:24,420 Maybe you would like to keep me company? 679 00:44:26,632 --> 00:44:28,447 - Are you... ? - Only if you want. I'm just asking... 680 00:44:28,448 --> 00:44:31,069 - What do you mean? You know how much I want to! - Then let's do it! 681 00:44:31,070 --> 00:44:33,892 - You mean you want to do it? - I do! And Alberto thinks it's a good idea! 682 00:44:33,893 --> 00:44:36,312 - He agreed? - He said not to put it off a minute longer! 683 00:44:36,313 --> 00:44:38,343 - I have his permission? - Here... take this away! 684 00:44:38,344 --> 00:44:40,042 I'll get this out of the way! 685 00:44:40,043 --> 00:44:41,957 Can you believe it? He gave his permission... 686 00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:45,989 - Eva, darling! The very first day you... - Get away from me! 687 00:44:46,599 --> 00:44:48,016 - You've don't understand! - What? 688 00:44:48,017 --> 00:44:51,031 I just wanted someone to keep me company here! 689 00:44:51,132 --> 00:44:55,363 What do you mean by keeping company? If all you want to do is talk, what do you need me for? 690 00:44:56,068 --> 00:45:00,497 - You must think I'm some kind of moron! - If you don't want to stay, then leave! 691 00:45:00,498 --> 00:45:04,030 - How much teasing can a man put up with? - Believe me, I never meant to tease you at all. 692 00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:07,257 The effect is the same, whether you're teasing or not! 693 00:45:07,358 --> 00:45:09,680 - Oh... no! - Then what? 694 00:45:11,187 --> 00:45:16,429 - Why can't you be heroic, like Lohengrin? - Lohengrin... ? 695 00:45:18,445 --> 00:45:22,578 - Is that better, Eva? I'm lower... - No! No! 696 00:45:23,086 --> 00:45:27,115 - So how about if I start to grin? - Lohengrin was a person! 697 00:45:27,116 --> 00:45:29,335 He was a dwarf... 698 00:45:30,544 --> 00:45:36,188 In the legend, his boat is pulled by a swan, and Elsa comes out from her... 699 00:45:36,189 --> 00:45:39,011 We don't have any swans, but I could hitch two or three chickens to... 700 00:45:39,012 --> 00:45:41,028 - No! One swan...! - Fine... 701 00:45:41,029 --> 00:45:45,363 - She comes slowly down to the lake, singing... - You lead, I don't know the tune. 702 00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:49,497 And Lohengrin is there, stepping from his swan boat ... 703 00:45:49,498 --> 00:45:53,529 - ... when he hears the sound of Elsa, far away! - She better hurry, or the boat'll leave without her! 704 00:45:53,530 --> 00:45:56,756 - Suddenly, she throws her hands up... - Ah... to grab the... 705 00:45:56,757 --> 00:45:59,675 - No... she falls... into the water. - It was slippery? 706 00:46:00,076 --> 00:46:01,898 - He dives in... - And pulls her out again... ? 707 00:46:01,899 --> 00:46:04,923 Not in time. I, too know that lake. 708 00:46:04,732 --> 00:46:09,268 I went there to swim last summer... And I almost drowned! 709 00:46:09,269 --> 00:46:14,611 I got a cramp right here! I cried, "Save me," like Elsa... 710 00:46:15,418 --> 00:46:18,744 Suddenly, a man appeared, just like Lohengrin. 711 00:46:19,048 --> 00:46:23,565 - He saved me... - It feels like a miracle to me. A miracle... 712 00:46:23,573 --> 00:46:24,987 Remove your hand! 713 00:46:24,997 --> 00:46:26,511 I'm massaging your cramp! 714 00:46:29,015 --> 00:46:32,141 He stood there, as beautiful as Lohengrin in a scene from Wagner! 715 00:46:32,345 --> 00:46:34,260 - You know him? - No, we never met... 716 00:46:44,641 --> 00:46:46,858 - You can't imagine how splendid it was... - No, I really can't... 717 00:46:46,859 --> 00:46:50,891 He was so noble as he reached out and took my hands... Michele! 718 00:46:51,194 --> 00:46:53,210 - Hold my hands! - I'll be glad to... 719 00:46:53,211 --> 00:46:55,932 He carried me out of the water, and we lay there... 720 00:46:55,933 --> 00:46:58,554 ... just the two of us on the beach. 721 00:47:04,804 --> 00:47:09,327 He stripped me with his hands... gently, so gently. 722 00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:12,969 We began to kiss one another... 723 00:47:13,374 --> 00:47:18,413 And the wonderful way he looked so deeply into my eyes... 724 00:47:18,414 --> 00:47:22,950 His kisses grew even hotter with the heat of my kisses... 725 00:47:22,951 --> 00:47:25,975 Yes... I can still feel his breath... 726 00:47:38,676 --> 00:47:40,490 I've lost my place! 727 00:47:41,197 --> 00:47:43,011 Back on the beach... 728 00:47:46,442 --> 00:47:48,056 How many times are you going to throw me on the floor? 729 00:47:48,057 --> 00:47:51,681 I'm beginning to think you're on the make for me! I shall fight to the doom! 730 00:47:51,886 --> 00:47:55,913 - You mean to the death, don't you? - Out! Get out of this room, lady killer! 731 00:47:56,118 --> 00:47:57,432 And don't you come near me again! 732 00:48:02,793 --> 00:48:05,897 Women... they say that, but they can't resist me. 733 00:48:05,998 --> 00:48:07,012 Out! 734 00:48:08,217 --> 00:48:09,735 That's just the beginning, darling! 735 00:48:10,137 --> 00:48:14,975 Michele, you realize you're a very irresistible man, and Eva wants you! 736 00:48:34,913 --> 00:48:37,136 What gets me is I just can't figure out how I manage to lose. 737 00:48:37,137 --> 00:48:40,258 - Then why the hell do you keep playing? - I need to keep playing to figure it out! 738 00:48:40,259 --> 00:48:42,878 And meanwhile we're losing the store... 739 00:48:42,879 --> 00:48:46,209 - Think of the future, Michele! Think of the children! - I don't have any, so why should I think of them? 740 00:48:46,210 --> 00:48:48,527 Then think of my children! I want to tear my hair out! 741 00:48:48,528 --> 00:48:50,042 Somebody beat you to it. You're nearly bald! 742 00:48:50,043 --> 00:48:52,258 - I'll tear your hair... - Leave my hair alone! Let it fall out by itself. 743 00:48:52,259 --> 00:48:56,189 You move in with those two crazy women so you could earn a little something, and then lose it all at cards? 744 00:48:56,190 --> 00:48:58,911 - Now I'm trying to win it back! - Word gets around fast in this town, eh? 745 00:48:58,912 --> 00:49:02,339 - What word? - That you're stealing from the sisters! 746 00:49:02,340 --> 00:49:04,358 I suppose I have you to thank for the gossip around town! 747 00:49:04,359 --> 00:49:07,281 - No! What have I said? You know I defend you. - Sure you do! 748 00:49:07,282 --> 00:49:09,397 No! I tell people that Michele's completely honest. 749 00:49:09,398 --> 00:49:10,915 He couldn't commit a criminal act because he's too stupid! 750 00:49:10,916 --> 00:49:13,633 - Stupid? You think that defense will help me? - Sure! 751 00:49:13,634 --> 00:49:15,551 With friends like you, who needs enemies? 752 00:49:15,652 --> 00:49:18,272 - Michele, face it! You're a born loser! - I heard you the first time... 753 00:49:18,273 --> 00:49:20,692 Listen to me, why don't you just give your money to Caminata? 754 00:49:20,693 --> 00:49:25,733 Stop bugging me, Peppino! I have worse problems than poker and Caminata... 755 00:49:25,734 --> 00:49:28,254 - Like...? - I fallen head over heels! 756 00:49:28,255 --> 00:49:31,379 - Who with? Giuila? Monica? - My God no! 757 00:49:31,380 --> 00:49:34,505 - Peppino, I'm talking about little Eva! - The German dish? 758 00:49:34,506 --> 00:49:36,320 - Yes, the German dish. - And she's married, isn't she? 759 00:49:36,321 --> 00:49:39,446 That just makes it spicier. A husband in the bedroom adds to the complexity... 760 00:49:39,447 --> 00:49:42,974 ... and the fun! But do you realize how thin you're getting? These women are wearing you out! 761 00:49:42,975 --> 00:49:47,209 No... it's my diet. I'm off meat. I've been eating watermelon seeds instead. 762 00:49:47,210 --> 00:49:50,234 - Rabbit's milk, soybean oil... - Soybean oil? 763 00:49:50,235 --> 00:49:55,274 Stop repeating! I eat plain lettuce, coconuts, wheat germ, barley, bran and sesame seeds. 764 00:49:55,275 --> 00:49:59,408 - Sounds like what I feed my parakeet! - Are you criticizing my choice of food, Peppino? 765 00:49:59,409 --> 00:50:02,132 I eat what she eats. I follow that girl in everything! 766 00:50:02,433 --> 00:50:04,752 - That means macro-biotics, Peppino... - Huh... what? 767 00:50:05,962 --> 00:50:07,877 - Micro- what? - Biotics! 768 00:50:07,878 --> 00:50:09,793 - What's micro-biotics? - What's that got to do with... ? 769 00:50:09,794 --> 00:50:13,020 - You said you eat micro-biotics. What is it? - No, my friend! It isn't micro-biotics! 770 00:50:13,021 --> 00:50:17,053 It's macro-biotics... Meaning that your food is natural... 771 00:50:17,054 --> 00:50:20,984 You have to be careful what you eat. It must be grown in horse manure... 772 00:50:20,985 --> 00:50:22,106 It's all because of her, Peppino... 773 00:50:25,218 --> 00:50:29,855 - So... are you going to screw her? - I told you she was married, Peppino! 774 00:50:30,156 --> 00:50:31,572 - So? - Sure, I'll screw her... 775 00:50:33,475 --> 00:50:37,507 Her whole being ached for him. 776 00:50:37,516 --> 00:50:40,741 - Her body was on fire... - Alberto... 777 00:50:41,442 --> 00:50:45,071 I want you, darling... I want you. 778 00:50:48,904 --> 00:50:51,528 Alberto, I want you... 779 00:50:52,529 --> 00:50:55,871 - In her full breasts... - Come here, darling... 780 00:50:56,377 --> 00:50:59,796 Please... I want you so very much... 781 00:51:00,497 --> 00:51:05,032 - Come back into bed, Alberto... - Let me finish this chapter! 782 00:51:08,344 --> 00:51:09,556 Can't you read? 783 00:51:09,557 --> 00:51:12,380 What kind of a man are you? A creampuff !! 784 00:51:14,398 --> 00:51:16,416 Oh, Michele... yes! 785 00:51:19,031 --> 00:51:21,450 Oh, yes... he's a real man! 786 00:51:26,896 --> 00:51:28,711 Hey! Hey! 787 00:51:31,232 --> 00:51:32,846 Michele! 788 00:51:34,256 --> 00:51:37,081 It's me, darling! You're very own true love! 789 00:51:37,483 --> 00:51:39,905 You're Dracula's daughter! Why did you have to wake me up? 790 00:51:39,906 --> 00:51:42,624 - Breakfast is ready. - Oh... thanks! 791 00:51:42,627 --> 00:51:46,386 Thanks, my ass! It's not your breakfast, you lazy good-for-nothing! It's for her highness! 792 00:51:46,387 --> 00:51:48,403 Hey! I'm not the waiter around here! 793 00:51:48,404 --> 00:51:51,730 So what! I have to go to Mass this morning. If you want to take it up, go ahead. 794 00:51:51,731 --> 00:51:53,747 Otherwise, let her keep on ringing! 795 00:51:54,655 --> 00:51:56,369 Well, I'm not taking it... 796 00:51:56,873 --> 00:51:59,893 - May I... ? - Is that you, Guiditta? 797 00:52:01,504 --> 00:52:03,526 If that's you, I'm in the bath! 798 00:52:04,131 --> 00:52:05,947 It's not Giuditta... it's Michele! 799 00:52:05,948 --> 00:52:07,865 I brought you your breakfast. Where shall I put it? 800 00:52:08,069 --> 00:52:11,693 - Ah! Can you fix the shower? - The shower? Am I a plumber now? 801 00:52:12,594 --> 00:52:14,514 Hurry! I'm standing here completely naked! 802 00:52:14,517 --> 00:52:16,534 Naked? I'll bet you're freezing! 803 00:52:18,335 --> 00:52:20,835 It's the work of the gods'... they've broken it! 804 00:52:20,869 --> 00:52:23,084 You mean to tell me you're completely naked? 805 00:52:24,501 --> 00:52:27,422 Of course that's what I meant. If you don't mind, please close your eyes! 806 00:52:27,625 --> 00:52:30,144 Okay, they're closed. What do you want me to do? 807 00:52:30,750 --> 00:52:33,371 The shower doesn't work. Just drip, drip... 808 00:52:33,573 --> 00:52:36,799 - Will you help me? Take a look... - Fine, I'll come and have a look... 809 00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:39,217 ... with my eyes closed. That's the gentlemanly thing to do. 810 00:52:41,934 --> 00:52:46,952 This must be ... My, what big faucets you have! 811 00:52:43,554 --> 00:52:45,368 Try again! 812 00:52:49,369 --> 00:52:51,788 - Any water? - No water... 813 00:52:54,006 --> 00:52:56,425 Let me try the shower head... 814 00:52:56,426 --> 00:52:58,241 If I could just turn it... 815 00:53:01,870 --> 00:53:05,196 - Poor little Michele. Did you hurt your back? - No... 816 00:53:05,802 --> 00:53:08,826 - No, really... it just tickles. - How do you feel now, better? 817 00:53:09,633 --> 00:53:11,750 Feel? I feel much better... 818 00:53:11,751 --> 00:53:14,372 Here you go... get up! 819 00:53:14,473 --> 00:53:16,489 Actually, I can't stand the pain! 820 00:53:16,793 --> 00:53:19,312 I need to hold on! Ah... here it is. 821 00:53:19,313 --> 00:53:21,833 There, I've got it. Now try it. Turn it on... 822 00:53:21,834 --> 00:53:23,650 Nothing... give it another turn! 823 00:53:24,728 --> 00:53:26,574 - Turn it harder... - It's all the way! 824 00:53:26,575 --> 00:53:28,596 I'll twist the shower head while you turn the faucet... 825 00:53:28,797 --> 00:53:31,814 - How about it now? Anything? - Nothing... 826 00:53:31,915 --> 00:53:35,345 Maybe if I twist it around like this ... 827 00:53:35,348 --> 00:53:38,368 Don't stand behind me. Move around in front of me. 828 00:53:38,471 --> 00:53:41,596 I'll try again. If I keep trying, something should come of all of this. 829 00:53:42,001 --> 00:53:44,029 Wait... my left hand won't do it. The right one is much stronger than the left. 830 00:53:44,581 --> 00:53:46,730 - I do appreciate your help... - But you did the work. 831 00:53:46,737 --> 00:53:49,464 Oh... it was nothing. I'll call a plumber tomorrow. 832 00:53:49,469 --> 00:53:52,092 - No! - How about that? 833 00:53:52,493 --> 00:53:54,610 It's working now! I knew it would work! 834 00:53:54,611 --> 00:53:56,227 That's pretty wet water. Maybe you'd like to... 835 00:53:57,333 --> 00:53:59,652 - Oh... my hero! - Wait, I've already had a bath... 836 00:54:04,986 --> 00:54:06,800 - Wait, while I... - No! Don't! 837 00:54:07,437 --> 00:54:09,951 - This is wonderful! - But I'm soaked to the skin... 838 00:54:11,459 --> 00:54:13,973 My pants are sticking to me... 839 00:54:32,409 --> 00:54:35,637 It's you! Don't try a make up an excuse! It's clear to me... I know everything. 840 00:54:35,638 --> 00:54:37,454 - How did you find out? - I could see it in your face! 841 00:54:37,455 --> 00:54:39,471 - You didn't like it very much... - No... 842 00:54:39,472 --> 00:54:41,286 - This may be contagious... It's obvious... 843 00:54:41,287 --> 00:54:47,325 You find it's ridiculous that my characters make love under water! 844 00:54:47,530 --> 00:54:52,369 Oh! You're talking about those slobs in your story? The book you're always working on? 845 00:54:52,370 --> 00:54:54,392 The two of them make out under water. It's simply ridiculous! 846 00:54:54,393 --> 00:54:56,416 A prostitute might manage the necessary positions, but... 847 00:54:56,419 --> 00:55:05,756 Oh, Michele! Michele! Were those hours you spent reading my book wasted? 848 00:55:05,857 --> 00:55:10,301 - I just read the juicy parts... - No, no... who else will support my cause? 849 00:55:10,354 --> 00:55:12,423 Use your imagination! Give in to the fantasies I've created! 850 00:55:12,424 --> 00:55:14,343 Work on your sensual awareness! 851 00:55:15,046 --> 00:55:16,367 Life in the provinces can dull the senses... 852 00:55:16,368 --> 00:55:20,300 ... although that's not what I've heard about you. 853 00:55:20,903 --> 00:55:24,931 What's that? Ahhh... it's nothing but rumors! Don't listen to that... 854 00:55:25,048 --> 00:55:28,970 Women like this exist! I've had experience! I've seen it with my own eyes! 855 00:55:28,971 --> 00:55:30,687 I still say it's ridiculous! 856 00:55:31,391 --> 00:55:33,207 - Take Eva, for example... - Should I take Eva? 857 00:55:33,308 --> 00:55:37,837 As an example. Eva has a difficult psychological problem... 858 00:55:38,038 --> 00:55:39,656 - Does she? - My Eva ... 859 00:55:39,858 --> 00:55:43,990 ... unless she's under water, she can't make love! Otherwise... nothing! 860 00:55:44,194 --> 00:55:45,206 That can't be so! 861 00:55:55,284 --> 00:55:59,513 Adelmo! What are you watering? 862 00:56:00,225 --> 00:56:02,846 What are you trying to grow? Zucchini? 863 00:56:04,253 --> 00:56:06,972 No! I'm growing sausages! 864 00:56:13,173 --> 00:56:14,973 You're everything I'd hoped for! 865 00:56:18,474 --> 00:56:20,274 Oh, Michele, you're wonderful! 866 00:56:52,836 --> 00:56:55,252 - Michele! - I'm right here! 867 00:57:04,839 --> 00:57:07,661 We need to make a decision, Eva! I can't keep on like this... 868 00:57:07,862 --> 00:57:10,984 - I want you all to myself. - Are you talking about Alberto? 869 00:57:11,587 --> 00:57:13,611 Naturally... part of what I'm talking about has to do with Alberto. 870 00:57:13,612 --> 00:57:16,432 His book is nearly finished, and he'll have no more reason to stay. 871 00:57:16,833 --> 00:57:20,461 - We won't be able to see each other. - Why can't we still see each in Milan? 872 00:57:20,462 --> 00:57:22,080 Yeah... I can just see us in some hotel room. 873 00:57:22,081 --> 00:57:28,527 - I don't want to share you with anyone else! - That's nice of you to say... very romantic. 874 00:57:30,140 --> 00:57:33,771 I was so mistaken about you. Every day you seem more and more like my Lohengrin. 875 00:57:34,279 --> 00:57:37,101 He too thought being with me was like Heaven. 876 00:57:37,102 --> 00:57:38,916 Under Niagara Falls... 877 00:57:38,917 --> 00:57:43,654 What are your plans? Would we run away, and try to find someplace new to live? 878 00:57:43,655 --> 00:57:45,269 No... we'd find a way to manage. 879 00:57:45,270 --> 00:57:49,504 But we don't have any money! And I don't know how to live without it. 880 00:57:49,505 --> 00:57:53,638 - My Alberto pays for all the things I need... - But I love you, Eva! 881 00:57:53,639 --> 00:57:57,669 Between us, we ought to find a solution. Let's stop here for a moment, and talk about it... 882 00:57:58,674 --> 00:58:01,494 Did you bring me here just to talk? 883 00:58:01,595 --> 00:58:04,728 Of course! What better place? I picked it because there are no showers, no streams... 884 00:58:04,729 --> 00:58:09,157 ... no hoses, no faucets. Where ever there is water, you know what happens! 885 00:58:10,569 --> 00:58:12,689 We never get to talk! I figured I'd have to try out here... 886 00:58:15,208 --> 00:58:17,630 - Ohhh... Michele, it's beautiful! - I don't believe it! 887 00:58:18,031 --> 00:58:21,963 - It's pouring, Michele! Pouring! - Let's make a run for it! This is my last dry pair of pants... 888 00:58:27,507 --> 00:58:30,629 Come on, Eva! There must be someplace dry around here! 889 00:58:31,630 --> 00:58:33,347 How about... how about that hut? Come on! 890 00:58:33,848 --> 00:58:35,172 No, no... please, Michele! 891 00:58:35,778 --> 00:58:38,801 - This is fabulous... ! - Why are you taking off your hat? 892 00:58:39,203 --> 00:58:41,021 If you don't want it, give it to me! 893 00:58:44,029 --> 00:58:45,844 No, Michele! Stay with me! Don't go inside! 894 00:58:45,845 --> 00:58:46,870 - What? Are you kidding? - Come and get wet, Michele! 895 00:58:46,871 --> 00:58:48,585 - Get in here! - It's marvelous! 896 00:58:48,586 --> 00:58:51,811 You don't need to be baptized, get in here! The roof leaks like a sieve. You'll love it! 897 00:58:51,812 --> 00:58:54,030 - Lohengrin! - No... Eva! 898 00:58:56,248 --> 00:58:59,070 Have you gone completely mad? Please be sensible! I'm all wet... 899 00:58:59,071 --> 00:59:00,886 I'm soaked to the skin! 900 00:59:01,794 --> 00:59:05,120 Stop it now, Eva! What made me fall in love with a hydro-maniac? 901 00:59:05,524 --> 00:59:08,447 Now stop it, Eva! I'm completely soaked! 902 00:59:09,859 --> 00:59:12,177 She's playing my song! "Irresistible" !! 903 00:59:25,011 --> 00:59:28,235 Michele! Open your eyes, Michele! 904 00:59:28,437 --> 00:59:30,852 Say something... wake up! 905 00:59:31,553 --> 00:59:34,653 What's the matter with you, Michele? Say something... 906 01:00:05,392 --> 01:00:10,028 - Oh... no! No! Eva, no! No, I beg you! - Oh, yes! Oh, yes! 907 01:00:10,029 --> 01:00:13,253 - Leave me alone... - Oh, yes... yes! 908 01:00:25,796 --> 01:00:27,867 - "A record rainfall hits... " - He's glad it's raining... 909 01:00:28,372 --> 01:00:30,388 These weather men make me sick! 910 01:00:30,389 --> 01:00:34,017 " ... never before seen such a downpour. There's no end in sight." 911 01:00:34,018 --> 01:00:36,437 "Steady rain across all of Italy..." 912 01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:40,067 - I need to buy a bathing suit. - "A low pressure area from the Alps..." 913 01:00:40,068 --> 01:00:43,003 - " ... will bring further precipitation..." - No... wait 'til we're in the tub! 914 01:00:45,209 --> 01:00:49,140 " River levees have been reinforced in low-lying areas..." 915 01:00:49,746 --> 01:00:50,956 "Of course, this rain is a Godsend ..." 916 01:00:50,957 --> 01:00:54,081 It sounds to me like another flood is going to hit us. 917 01:00:54,687 --> 01:00:57,813 I can finally finish your portrait while it does, Michelle. 918 01:00:58,115 --> 01:01:03,356 I need Michele to take a look at the pig pen. Don't you think the roof leaks? 919 01:01:07,090 --> 01:01:10,518 Best thing in the world for those plants. Lots of water makes all sorts of things pop up! 920 01:01:10,723 --> 01:01:12,234 It's not my night! I'm out... 921 01:01:12,936 --> 01:01:16,368 Three queens! Although I've found that two are usually enough! 922 01:01:16,369 --> 01:01:20,600 Isn't that right, Cammagliulo? Can you beat that, or not? I call... 923 01:01:23,010 --> 01:01:24,929 Cammagliulo! What are thinking about? 924 01:01:25,439 --> 01:01:27,255 Hey! Are you all right? 925 01:01:28,964 --> 01:01:31,387 My God! We'd better get him to a doctor! The poor guy's passed out... 926 01:01:31,488 --> 01:01:34,012 - Open a window, for God's sake! - That's such a shame... 927 01:01:34,013 --> 01:01:36,533 ... passing out while holding a full house! 928 01:01:39,456 --> 01:01:41,673 Just look at yourself. That skeleton is you, buddy! 929 01:01:41,674 --> 01:01:44,698 - I'd look like that without skin? - You bet! I'd recognize those bones anywhere. 930 01:01:44,699 --> 01:01:46,816 - How can you be sure they're mine? - Bones but no brains! 931 01:01:46,817 --> 01:01:48,732 - Yes... it doesn't... - Doesn't what? 932 01:01:48,733 --> 01:01:52,961 Look very good! Swollen arteries. Strained cardiac muscle. 933 01:01:53,269 --> 01:01:57,604 This causes the heart to work harder, and when that happens, it's dangerous! 934 01:01:57,705 --> 01:02:00,528 - I've been telling him that! - Stay out of this! Let the doctor do it... 935 01:02:00,529 --> 01:02:02,343 - I'm in danger of what, doctor? - A heart attack! 936 01:02:02,344 --> 01:02:04,763 - I've been telling him, doctor... - Now you're happy? 937 01:02:04,764 --> 01:02:08,191 - What kind of friendship is that? - I wouldn't be. But all my predictions come true... 938 01:02:08,192 --> 01:02:11,417 Well then, I'm happy that you're so happy! You think I might really have a... 939 01:02:11,418 --> 01:02:14,744 No! I'm here to see that you avoid it. Start getting more rest! 940 01:02:14,745 --> 01:02:16,560 - Like how much? - A lot more... 941 01:02:16,561 --> 01:02:18,577 - He'll like that! - You're making me nervous, wiseguy! 942 01:02:18,981 --> 01:02:21,400 You're physically sound, in terms of your muscular condition. 943 01:02:21,401 --> 01:02:25,433 Sex has a lot to do with that! But I might suggest that you're pushing it a little too hard. 944 01:02:25,434 --> 01:02:28,558 Moderation and small doses never hurt anyone. And if what you say is true... 945 01:02:28,559 --> 01:02:30,575 Would I lie about a friend's sex life? 946 01:02:30,778 --> 01:02:33,701 - You mean you told the doctor about... - I'm not that stupid! 947 01:02:33,702 --> 01:02:35,818 - I just mentioned a few of the women... - Oh, is that all? Well, thanks! 948 01:02:35,819 --> 01:02:39,045 The facts are obvious. When given a few hints, anyone could guess. 949 01:02:39,046 --> 01:02:42,269 - The doctor's no fool... - Listen to me, Mr. Cammagliulo. 950 01:02:42,270 --> 01:02:46,296 - I'm right here... - I want you to obey my orders - to the letter! 951 01:02:46,297 --> 01:02:49,329 - Whatever you say... - Unless you want to ruin your health... 952 01:02:49,330 --> 01:02:54,065 ... you'll report to me every two weeks. My nurse will write out the diet you're to follow. 953 01:02:54,469 --> 01:02:57,087 Oh, nurse... What's the meaning of this, ladies? 954 01:02:58,801 --> 01:03:00,116 It's really him! 955 01:03:00,319 --> 01:03:04,351 Will you prepare a chart, please! And the rest of you, keep away from this door! 956 01:03:06,065 --> 01:03:08,782 This place is like the Grand Hotel! 957 01:03:09,187 --> 01:03:14,023 Now I'm going to issue just one order: sex once a week, and no more! 958 01:03:14,332 --> 01:03:16,852 Only once? How am I going to do that, with all these girls after me? 959 01:03:16,853 --> 01:03:18,472 Do you want me to disappoint the whole lot? 960 01:03:18,473 --> 01:03:22,094 Two at the most, or you'll be a very miserable man! 961 01:03:28,342 --> 01:03:33,072 - Do you have it straightened out yet? - How am I going to straighten this out, Peppino? 962 01:03:33,273 --> 01:03:36,283 Using the calculator, I've worked out every possible schedule ... 963 01:03:36,504 --> 01:03:41,137 ... and even if I increase the number of times per week, it still comes out to Monica three times ... 964 01:03:41,138 --> 01:03:45,578 ... every week. That's in even-numbered months. Likewise for Giuila, on odd-numbered months. 965 01:03:46,083 --> 01:03:49,712 - That means there's no time left for Eva and me. - Why do you bother with Eva? Why bother? 966 01:03:49,713 --> 01:03:52,131 Dump her and all the rest. Go on! All of them! 967 01:03:52,132 --> 01:03:55,862 Women, girls... you're better off without any of them! 968 01:03:55,863 --> 01:03:58,181 So where's the money supposed to come from, Peppino? 969 01:03:58,182 --> 01:04:01,307 You mind telling me that? The store's a failure. There's nothing in the till! 970 01:04:01,308 --> 01:04:03,928 Don't say that! The store can make money, and I can prove it! 971 01:04:03,929 --> 01:04:06,449 What you need to do is give one thing up! 972 01:04:06,450 --> 01:04:08,768 - I don't know any more women ... - No! Poker! I'm talking about poker! 973 01:04:08,769 --> 01:04:12,700 Please, please! Don't nag me about poker! Don't blame poker. It's not poker... 974 01:04:12,701 --> 01:04:14,717 There's just no money. It's that simple! 975 01:04:14,718 --> 01:04:16,734 - I'm thinking of the kids, especially. - I didn't think you had any! 976 01:04:16,735 --> 01:04:19,859 I'm talking about your kids! Use your head! They go through money like it was water. 977 01:04:19,860 --> 01:04:22,380 I see... so you're saying they should starve! 978 01:04:22,381 --> 01:04:25,607 If you had some energy, you could work harder. But you're always too tired! 979 01:04:25,608 --> 01:04:28,128 If you had just one girl, you might be able to stay awake! 980 01:04:28,129 --> 01:04:30,548 Instead, you have three. There needs to be two more of you! 981 01:04:31,052 --> 01:04:33,270 - Wait! Would you say that again? - Don't you ever listen? 982 01:04:33,271 --> 01:04:35,791 - Repeat that... you said two more of me? - Yeah, that's right. Two more of you... 983 01:04:35,792 --> 01:04:40,227 Two more of me to take care of the others! That's almost impossible, but let's think of it as a challenge. 984 01:04:40,228 --> 01:04:41,941 - A challenge? - You've given me an idea! 985 01:04:41,942 --> 01:04:43,857 - I'm going to have myself... - It's that bad? 986 01:04:43,858 --> 01:04:45,975 - ... have myself a ball ! - That's good... 987 01:04:46,278 --> 01:04:49,302 So when you have three, will that be three times better than before? 988 01:04:49,404 --> 01:04:51,218 All I meant is that I'm going to have a lot of fun! 989 01:04:51,219 --> 01:04:54,142 I used the word "ball" in that sense... nothing more! 990 01:04:54,143 --> 01:04:55,857 Oh, sure! That kind of "ball"... 991 01:04:55,858 --> 01:05:00,393 What I'm going to do is get a substitute. Somebody I'll pay, naturally. 992 01:05:00,394 --> 01:05:02,209 - The sort of man who... - A prostitute! 993 01:05:02,310 --> 01:05:06,947 Oh, that kind of vulgarity isn't worthy of you, Peppino. I prefer to think of it as a sexual collaborator. 994 01:05:06,948 --> 01:05:10,879 A man who's paid for certain special sexual services, knowing that he's acting on my behalf. 995 01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:14,105 - I'd only have to use him on certain occasions. - But there's three women... 996 01:05:14,106 --> 01:05:17,634 Are you kidding? Eva's mine alone! That goes without saying! 997 01:05:17,635 --> 01:05:19,248 As for the other two... 998 01:05:19,449 --> 01:05:21,465 - I'll have to find someone who... - Can I be of help... 999 01:05:21,466 --> 01:05:23,281 - No, that's okay. You might as well go home. - Yes, sir... 1000 01:05:24,088 --> 01:05:26,104 - Somebody who... who can... - Somebody handsome! 1001 01:05:26,105 --> 01:05:31,144 Looks don't really matter. But not a boy like Tonino, whose face is a mess. I want somebody more ... 1002 01:05:31,146 --> 01:05:32,657 - ... elegant! - Yes, elegant. 1003 01:05:32,658 --> 01:05:34,775 - Refined! - Not to mention... 1004 01:05:34,776 --> 01:05:37,497 - Presentable! - And he must also be well endowed! 1005 01:05:37,599 --> 01:05:42,737 If his equipment isn't what it should be... I'll have to check that out! That's obvious. 1006 01:05:43,446 --> 01:05:46,571 - Tell me... what's your size? - 12D... what about it? 1007 01:05:46,572 --> 01:05:49,495 12D! Boy are your wits sharp! What I meant was... 1008 01:05:50,504 --> 01:05:53,679 You have seven kids? It must be kind of big to... 1009 01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:55,292 - Ah! - Well, what do you say? 1010 01:05:55,293 --> 01:05:56,805 - I say none of your business! - Come on, tell me! 1011 01:05:56,806 --> 01:05:58,419 - Believe me, I'm not interested... - With seven kids? 1012 01:05:58,420 --> 01:06:00,638 - Sure, but it's been a while since we had one. - You've kicked the habit? 1013 01:06:00,639 --> 01:06:02,150 - Completely... - It's out of the question? 1014 01:06:02,151 --> 01:06:03,865 - Sorry... - Totally out of the question? 1015 01:06:03,866 --> 01:06:05,479 - Entirely... - What a shame that is. 1016 01:06:05,480 --> 01:06:08,201 - I'm sorry to turn down a good opportunity. - You're unable to take part in the competition? 1017 01:06:08,202 --> 01:06:11,226 I don't think I'm right for it. And I'm really not interested... 1018 01:06:12,336 --> 01:06:13,948 Who wouldn't be, after seven kids? 1019 01:06:14,352 --> 01:06:16,469 I'd do anything for you! That's what friendship means. 1020 01:06:16,470 --> 01:06:20,401 You know what I mean? Since your health is at risk, well, um... 1021 01:06:22,510 --> 01:06:25,442 ... finding a piece of merchandise with equipment as large as yours is going to be very hard! 1022 01:06:25,443 --> 01:06:28,862 In a manner of speaking. What do have in the book? 1023 01:06:28,871 --> 01:06:33,387 Will you just give me a chance to look? Sit down, and relax! Now, let's take a look... 1024 01:06:33,389 --> 01:06:35,816 - There must be someone in there! - It's possible, but ... 1025 01:06:35,817 --> 01:06:38,842 ... they're small potatoes, compared to you! Very small indeed... 1026 01:06:38,843 --> 01:06:41,264 - Looks like half the population... - Frankie... 1027 01:06:41,270 --> 01:06:44,488 - How's he built? - He's small... a difficult client. 1028 01:06:44,489 --> 01:06:45,799 Not him! And his strange tastes... 1029 01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:52,251 Oh! Milani! Do you know Milani? He'd be fabulous for us. He has a fine sized tool. But... 1030 01:06:52,252 --> 01:06:54,877 - But what? - The poor fool decided to go the other way... 1031 01:06:54,878 --> 01:06:58,808 - Did he move away? - No, he was operated on by a wonderful surgeon! 1032 01:06:58,809 --> 01:07:01,829 - He had an accident? - No! He just wanted to dress like a woman! 1033 01:07:01,830 --> 01:07:04,450 - Now, what do you call a man like that? - A drag queen? 1034 01:07:04,451 --> 01:07:06,669 - That's right! A drag queen! - Better forget about him... 1035 01:07:06,670 --> 01:07:09,290 - Now, who else is here in the book? - Come on... try again! 1036 01:07:09,291 --> 01:07:11,307 Wait a minute! This one looks pretty good... 1037 01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:25,122 - Good afternoon... - I'm Primo Guendalini... antique sculptures. 1038 01:07:25,123 --> 01:07:28,650 - I'm Michele Cammagliulo. - I recognized you right away... 1039 01:07:28,853 --> 01:07:32,582 - White suit, necktie, striped shirt... - Marisa told you about me? 1040 01:07:32,583 --> 01:07:35,910 Yes, she did. She's a very old friend! Are you a client? 1041 01:07:35,911 --> 01:07:39,237 - Well, I regard Marisa more as a friend... - And in many other ways! 1042 01:07:39,238 --> 01:07:43,169 That girl really knows her business! And she isn't the type to take money she hasn't come by honestly! 1043 01:07:43,170 --> 01:07:46,496 Well, that's all very good. Did Marisa... did she mention what I wanted? 1044 01:07:46,497 --> 01:07:49,617 Yes, she mentioned it. You're interested in my peter! 1045 01:07:51,229 --> 01:07:56,369 Listen, did Marisa tell you that I'm looking for some very unique merchandise? 1046 01:07:56,370 --> 01:08:01,107 Without appearing immodest, those who want the highest quality merchandise come to Guendalini! 1047 01:08:01,109 --> 01:08:05,443 My unique merchandise is know up and down the coast, all the way to Naples and points east! 1048 01:08:05,444 --> 01:08:07,863 Is that so? Then I can rest easy! 1049 01:08:07,864 --> 01:08:11,489 - You can rest easy! - There's only one thing I'm somewhat afraid of. 1050 01:08:11,695 --> 01:08:13,307 It's the matter of size... 1051 01:08:14,508 --> 01:08:16,027 13 and a half inches! 1052 01:08:16,029 --> 01:08:17,642 - Will that about do it? - Sure, uh... 1053 01:08:17,643 --> 01:08:19,760 - I can get larger, if that's too small! - Are you kidding? 1054 01:08:19,761 --> 01:08:21,978 I wouldn't know how to manage one as big as all that! 1055 01:08:21,979 --> 01:08:26,212 There's one thing that wasn't clearly explained. Are you the one who wants the, uh... object? 1056 01:08:26,213 --> 01:08:28,532 The object? No, I'm not interested. 1057 01:08:28,533 --> 01:08:31,456 It's only because it want to give something special to two young ladies. 1058 01:08:31,457 --> 01:08:33,170 Something they'd otherwise have to do without. 1059 01:08:33,171 --> 01:08:34,985 - I'm sorry to hear that. - Why's that? 1060 01:08:34,986 --> 01:08:36,801 Because I'd rather give it to you! 1061 01:08:37,205 --> 01:08:39,322 - To me? - I think you'd appreciate it! 1062 01:08:39,323 --> 01:08:41,641 - Appreciate it? - I'll bet you're a man with lots of experience... 1063 01:08:41,642 --> 01:08:45,774 ... behind you! You're a connoisseur! A man who knows where something like this should go! 1064 01:08:46,078 --> 01:08:48,594 - I do? - It'd be a shame to give it to someone else! 1065 01:08:48,800 --> 01:08:50,614 If your ladies are only beginners... 1066 01:08:51,019 --> 01:08:54,446 I'd hate to trust an object like mine in the hands of rank amateurs, if you know what I mean! 1067 01:08:54,547 --> 01:08:59,385 No, I wouldn't worry about that. The ladies in question are anything but beginners! 1068 01:08:59,386 --> 01:09:02,309 - So, I have no reason to worry. - None whatever! Now, about the price ... 1069 01:09:02,310 --> 01:09:04,326 - ... don't forget, it's worth money. - Stop! 1070 01:08:58,431 --> 01:09:03,169 I do have my pride! Anyone who buys a work of this sort shouldn't expect to get a bargain! 1071 01:09:03,170 --> 01:09:05,891 - Certain things are priceless! - Things like... 1072 01:09:05,892 --> 01:09:09,620 Like my peter. But don't talk about the price until you've had a look at it! 1073 01:09:10,126 --> 01:09:12,952 - Really? - If you like, you can have a look right now! 1074 01:09:12,953 --> 01:09:16,053 Certainly! Such a powerful object must be seen to be appreciated! 1075 01:09:16,053 --> 01:09:19,693 - What are you suggesting? - What else? I'll take it out right here! 1076 01:09:19,694 --> 01:09:24,519 What are you thinking of! There are people around... watching us. 1077 01:09:24,520 --> 01:09:29,000 What would they think, Mr. Guendalini? Please, consider the people... 1078 01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:30,543 - What difference does that make? - Well, to me it makes... 1079 01:09:30,544 --> 01:09:34,264 - If you're Puritanical we can go inside! - Please! There's no reason to go inside... 1080 01:09:34,777 --> 01:09:38,399 - Another nut case. Everything happens to me! - Don't you want to see it? 1081 01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:40,924 I told you already - I'm not interested! Please! The police will have you in the... 1082 01:09:43,643 --> 01:09:45,966 - There he is! My St. Peter! - Your St. Peter... 1083 01:09:45,967 --> 01:09:48,489 I've also done Moses... Napoleon... 1084 01:09:48,490 --> 01:09:51,108 But most of my clients are interested in my large Peter. 1085 01:09:51,714 --> 01:09:54,737 - What do you think of it? - I can't say what I'm thinking... 1086 01:09:56,755 --> 01:10:00,989 Can't you postpone all that, for God's sake? I need a little peace and quiet tonight. 1087 01:10:00,990 --> 01:10:03,610 Do it in the morning. Good night. Go home now... 1088 01:10:03,611 --> 01:10:05,123 - But the... - You heard what I said. 1089 01:10:05,124 --> 01:10:07,543 Tonight I want a little peace and quiet! I need to concentrate. 1090 01:10:09,459 --> 01:10:12,685 What a situation to be in! I need to find a solution to it ... 1091 01:10:12,686 --> 01:10:16,512 ... because if I don't, that means there's no solution! 1092 01:10:16,513 --> 01:10:18,533 You'll figure out, Mr. Michele, because you're so smart! 1093 01:10:18,534 --> 01:10:22,102 It's not a question of intelligence. I have to find the right man. If I don't... 1094 01:10:22,103 --> 01:10:25,631 Ah, you're right, Mr. Michele. I told Mr. Peppino we need another man... 1095 01:10:25,632 --> 01:10:27,547 - I'm looking for a man to... - This is simply too much for one person! 1096 01:10:27,548 --> 01:10:31,378 - I get awfully tired picking up... - My God, how dumb can you get? 1097 01:10:31,379 --> 01:10:34,906 - ... this summer for the ... - When they passed out brains, you missed the parade! 1098 01:10:34,907 --> 01:10:36,923 - No one told me about a parade! - What are you doing with those shoes? 1099 01:10:36,924 --> 01:10:38,739 - I'm putting them back in the storeroom. - Are those summer shoes? 1100 01:10:38,740 --> 01:10:40,554 - That shows how stupid you are! - How stupid am I? 1101 01:10:40,555 --> 01:10:42,268 When it's warm in summer, we sell summer shoes. 1102 01:10:42,269 --> 01:10:44,184 - I see, that makes sense. - Now, will you get out of here? 1103 01:10:44,185 --> 01:10:47,612 Will you look at that boy? He's thin as a toothpick and always working. 1104 01:10:47,613 --> 01:10:50,433 He's a poor example of the kids these days. 1105 01:10:51,444 --> 01:10:54,770 I have to get my hands on a real stud! The right man would be glad to... 1106 01:10:55,275 --> 01:10:57,089 - Excuse me, Mr. Michele! - What's the matter? 1107 01:10:57,090 --> 01:10:58,703 - I'm right here if you want to talk... - Could I get by? 1108 01:10:58,704 --> 01:11:00,619 - You want to use the restroom? - I just need to take a leak... 1109 01:11:00,620 --> 01:11:02,233 - Help yourself. - Thank you, sir! 1110 01:11:02,234 --> 01:11:06,467 All I see ahead is misery. How am I going to find anyone with the equipment I need? 1111 01:11:06,770 --> 01:11:09,588 The doctor says I'm heading straight for the hospital... 1112 01:11:09,896 --> 01:11:12,517 Which reminds me, I'd better take one of these pills. 1113 01:11:12,518 --> 01:11:17,552 Excuse me, Tonino. Would you get me a glass of water, please? 1114 01:11:18,159 --> 01:11:20,173 Tonino, would you get me a glass of ... 1115 01:11:20,780 --> 01:11:23,705 Do you mind putting that hammer down for a minute, and getting me some wa... 1116 01:11:25,019 --> 01:11:26,933 That wasn't a hammer... 1117 01:11:29,253 --> 01:11:30,765 Eureka! 1118 01:11:31,067 --> 01:11:34,393 Giuditta works too hard for a woman her age. She's worn out! 1119 01:11:34,898 --> 01:11:37,418 She gets more run down every day, and more insulting! 1120 01:11:37,419 --> 01:11:40,140 Didn't I say, if you get someone to help her, you'd see a difference? 1121 01:11:40,141 --> 01:11:43,667 The hell you will! Why couldn't you get me someone with a grain of sense! 1122 01:11:43,668 --> 01:11:46,190 Always complaining! Doesn't Tonino have any sense at all? 1123 01:11:46,191 --> 01:11:51,331 That boy's a fool! He's a moron! He used a shoehorn to put the stuffing in the turkey! 1124 01:11:51,332 --> 01:11:54,558 Oh, that's only a carry-over from his professional training! 1125 01:11:54,559 --> 01:11:57,179 The most important thing is this - no one could be more honest! 1126 01:11:57,180 --> 01:11:59,801 He's presentable, he's hard working, he's friendly... 1127 01:11:59,802 --> 01:12:04,035 - Presentable, is he? - Yes he is! He may not be a beauty, but... 1128 01:12:04,036 --> 01:12:05,851 ... he's an interesting type, in his own way. 1129 01:12:05,852 --> 01:12:11,294 Let's get an artist's perspective from Giulia. Do you think Tonino is an interesting subject? 1130 01:12:11,295 --> 01:12:14,719 He could be sort of a wild creature! 1131 01:12:15,257 --> 01:12:18,957 I don't know. A very different sort of wild creature, perhaps. 1132 01:12:18,958 --> 01:12:22,385 - What do you mean? He's got... - He's not exactly sexy, is he, Michele! 1133 01:12:22,386 --> 01:12:28,030 Isn't he? I thought you were a better judge than that. He's had more conquests than... 1134 01:12:28,031 --> 01:12:29,845 - What are you saying? - Oh, nothing... skip it! 1135 01:12:29,846 --> 01:12:32,568 - Well, I'd like to hear a little gossip, Michele! - No, I really can't... 1136 01:12:32,569 --> 01:12:38,415 But we all agree he's no great beauty, right? Yet that young man has been the lover of more women... 1137 01:12:38,718 --> 01:12:41,238 - How is that possible? - Apparently, he's got... 1138 01:12:41,239 --> 01:12:43,759 - He's got... ? - I don't know how to put it... 1139 01:12:43,760 --> 01:12:48,296 It's not easy in mixed company, but... Excuse me. I've heard he has great vigor... 1140 01:12:48,297 --> 01:12:50,912 - What's the reason? - Well, apparently ... 1141 01:12:53,929 --> 01:12:55,756 It seems that he has something extraordinary... 1142 01:12:55,757 --> 01:12:57,773 - No! - Yes! The largest in town... 1143 01:12:57,774 --> 01:13:01,806 Well, the boy's talents are well concealed, wouldn't you say? 1144 01:13:01,807 --> 01:13:08,053 It would be wonderful to get his face on canvas. I would paint him as a satyr in a far-away land... 1145 01:13:08,964 --> 01:13:12,895 Here's our wild woodland creature now! Don't panic! Come on in! We're all human... 1146 01:13:12,896 --> 01:13:15,516 - You'll get used to our ways, Tonino! - Get in here... 1147 01:13:16,122 --> 01:13:20,557 If you look at him, you can see he's a fine figure of a certain type ... 1148 01:13:20,558 --> 01:13:25,797 ... in his own way. All he needs is a haircut, and he'll be, uh... 1149 01:13:27,816 --> 01:13:30,839 I don't know. He looks like a stupid animal to me! 1150 01:13:30,841 --> 01:13:33,156 Quickly! Serve the food... ! 1151 01:13:35,072 --> 01:13:39,099 I'd be glad to... only my hands are full! 1152 01:13:57,341 --> 01:14:01,380 Ah, how are you, Tonino? How's it going? I hope you're happy here. That's the important thing. 1153 01:14:01,583 --> 01:14:04,007 - Are you finding the work easy? - Is that some kind of a joke, Mr. Michele? 1154 01:14:04,008 --> 01:14:05,722 - This work is too hard for me! - It is? 1155 01:14:05,723 --> 01:14:08,747 Wash, carry, scrub, paint, scrape, hammer, screw... 1156 01:14:08,748 --> 01:14:12,376 That's the idea! You're saying they give you too much work here? 1157 01:14:12,579 --> 01:14:15,905 - That old lady works me like a mule! - Then say something! 1158 01:14:15,906 --> 01:14:19,232 - I do! And she hits me! - How dumb can you get? 1159 01:14:19,233 --> 01:14:22,854 Don't complain to the old lady! You have to complain to your employer. 1160 01:14:22,855 --> 01:14:26,083 - You understand? - I don't have much confidence in that... 1161 01:14:26,584 --> 01:14:29,415 What are you afraid of? You're a big boy now, Tonino! 1162 01:14:29,416 --> 01:14:35,659 Besides, you've got your rights! If employers won't listen to their employees, they make a symbolic protest. 1163 01:14:35,862 --> 01:14:38,080 - You've heard of streaking? - No... 1164 01:14:38,381 --> 01:14:42,216 You must have read about guys and girls who've protested by running naked... 1165 01:14:42,317 --> 01:14:45,946 Ah! Yes! In America... as protesters. 1166 01:14:45,947 --> 01:14:49,779 That's right! And I warn you as a friend you won't get anywhere unless you let it all hang out! 1167 01:14:50,180 --> 01:14:52,998 - Take my clothes off? - It's the only way to protest! 1168 01:15:02,573 --> 01:15:05,398 - I don't believe it! - What is it? 1169 01:15:06,407 --> 01:15:09,533 Tonino... completely nude! 1170 01:15:10,237 --> 01:15:13,865 Nude? You must have imagined it! 1171 01:15:14,169 --> 01:15:17,796 - Quite an imagination! - I must be losing my mind... 1172 01:15:18,806 --> 01:15:21,528 - Well? How did it go? - I did just what you said... 1173 01:15:21,529 --> 01:15:23,041 - You have? - Yes, Mr. Michele... 1174 01:15:23,042 --> 01:15:26,469 Are you sure they got a good look at your... body? 1175 01:15:27,371 --> 01:15:30,300 - I don't know. I ran fast! - They may not have seen you... 1176 01:15:30,301 --> 01:15:32,921 - Maybe not... - You call that streaking? 1177 01:15:32,922 --> 01:15:36,047 You need to slow down a bit. Stopping is even better! 1178 01:15:36,748 --> 01:15:41,273 - Do it with some bravado, Tonino! - I'm too embarrassed to run around naked... 1179 01:15:41,274 --> 01:15:42,904 Why? You've got nothing to be ashamed of! 1180 01:15:42,905 --> 01:15:45,828 You have sex appeal! There's no other word for it. 1181 01:15:45,829 --> 01:15:48,551 - Really? What makes you say so? - You're loaded with it! 1182 01:15:48,552 --> 01:15:53,491 It's coming out of your hair! Out of your eyes! Out of your nose. It's coming out of everywhere... 1183 01:15:53,492 --> 01:15:55,508 You have the kind of mouth women just want to kiss! 1184 01:15:55,509 --> 01:15:57,726 Push your mouth out! Squeeze your lips... 1185 01:15:57,727 --> 01:15:59,441 You'll drive them out of their minds! 1186 01:15:59,744 --> 01:16:01,558 - Stop! That tickles... - Let's look at those hands. 1187 01:16:01,559 --> 01:16:05,289 Women are very sensitive! They'll respond to your slightest caress! 1188 01:16:05,290 --> 01:16:07,507 The women will go mad! Come on, give it a try! 1189 01:16:07,508 --> 01:16:09,524 - Like this? - Sure! Now go... protest! 1190 01:16:09,525 --> 01:16:11,541 Go on, Tonino! Show the world! Run... 1191 01:16:39,888 --> 01:16:41,588 Rape! Rape! 1192 01:16:43,589 --> 01:16:46,108 Thank God! My prayers have been answered... 1193 01:16:52,729 --> 01:16:56,156 - Monica? Yoo hoo... - Who is it? 1194 01:16:56,258 --> 01:16:58,677 It's your little Michele, darling... 1195 01:16:59,184 --> 01:17:03,617 I waited at the chicken coop for more than an hour, my darling, but you never showed up! 1196 01:17:03,819 --> 01:17:06,641 I'm sorry. You know I spent too much time out in the sun... 1197 01:17:06,642 --> 01:17:08,362 ... so I need to stay inside until this bad sunburn clears up. 1198 01:17:08,463 --> 01:17:13,500 Oh... you'd better stay in bed! The Almanac predicts a month of strong sunshine! 1199 01:17:13,501 --> 01:17:17,620 - It does? - Yes... you'd best just stay in bed! Very good! 1200 01:17:17,742 --> 01:17:20,456 - Well, good night, dear... - Good night! 1201 01:17:20,557 --> 01:17:23,080 - Good night! - ... night! 1202 01:17:29,004 --> 01:17:30,840 You're certainly well endowed... 1203 01:17:30,841 --> 01:17:32,241 Let me have a turn at his majesty... 1204 01:17:32,442 --> 01:17:34,042 Please don't push, ladies... 1205 01:17:34,043 --> 01:17:35,579 No, this doesn't sound like rape! 1206 01:17:35,580 --> 01:17:37,280 Tonino is the king of love... 1207 01:17:37,281 --> 01:17:41,728 What's Giuila doing in there? Both sisters are in there! 1208 01:17:41,729 --> 01:17:47,471 They have a threesome going! It's like the fable... killing two birds with one stone! 1209 01:17:47,478 --> 01:17:50,396 - I wouldn't have believed it! - Amazing! Just incredible! 1210 01:17:51,406 --> 01:17:53,522 The fact is, it's never happened to me in my life! 1211 01:17:54,128 --> 01:17:57,757 I never thought it would happen. I don't know what to say. I almost feel like it shouldn't have happened. 1212 01:17:58,009 --> 01:18:00,275 - But it did! - Excuse me. Don't forget ... 1213 01:18:00,276 --> 01:18:02,292 ... the pot we started with should be added to that. 1214 01:18:02,293 --> 01:18:05,821 - Right. 20 pots, with a total of 6 million. - Excuse me... 7 million! 1215 01:18:05,822 --> 01:18:08,442 That's right. 7 million. Of course... 1216 01:18:08,443 --> 01:18:11,468 I want it to be right, without appearing greedy... 1217 01:18:11,571 --> 01:18:13,887 - Today's the... - The 24th. 1218 01:18:13,888 --> 01:18:15,703 - 24... all day. - Yes, the 24th... 1219 01:18:16,510 --> 01:18:19,231 - Pay to Mr. Michele... ? - Cammagliulo. 1220 01:18:19,232 --> 01:18:21,853 Cammagliulo... I dare say you'll never forget it. 1221 01:18:23,366 --> 01:18:26,087 - There you are! - I hope that next time you're... 1222 01:18:26,088 --> 01:18:28,104 - Ah... it's all in the game! - I'm happy to hear you feel... 1223 01:18:28,105 --> 01:18:30,323 I don't mind the money. After all, what's 7 million to me? 1224 01:18:30,432 --> 01:18:32,345 - There's something I don't... - What's that? 1225 01:18:32,546 --> 01:18:34,558 - There's something wrong with the... - There can't be! 1226 01:18:34,559 --> 01:18:36,076 I made it out for 7 million. What's wrong? 1227 01:18:36,177 --> 01:18:40,008 - You're not feeling chilly, or something? - No! I'm sweating. What do you mean? 1228 01:18:40,714 --> 01:18:44,847 The funny thing is, you wrote December, and it should have been July. Would you mind writing another check? 1229 01:18:45,348 --> 01:18:48,980 - Michele! May I call you Michele? - Of course, it's my name... 1230 01:18:48,981 --> 01:18:52,408 If I don't date that check for December, I'll be utterly ruined! 1231 01:18:52,609 --> 01:18:55,332 No... I'm the one who'll be ruined if you date the check for December. 1232 01:18:55,333 --> 01:18:59,869 But you're young! You'll bounce back. I'm an old man who's too fat to bounce anywhere! 1233 01:18:59,870 --> 01:19:02,894 Maybe a couple of months? I'm willing to wait until September. Why not? 1234 01:19:02,895 --> 01:19:05,314 But to go beyond that... A man in my condition! 1235 01:19:05,515 --> 01:19:08,137 I simply can't, Michele! My business is facing a crisis! 1236 01:19:08,138 --> 01:19:11,666 Stocks and bonds are fluctuating too fast to keep track of! 1237 01:19:11,667 --> 01:19:14,990 The Arabs have us in a corner! Look, I'll tell you what I'll do! 1238 01:19:15,291 --> 01:19:17,413 - Let's say I just rip this up! - So you can write me a new one... 1239 01:19:17,414 --> 01:19:22,249 No... the best plan is a six-month promissory note! 1240 01:19:22,654 --> 01:19:25,275 - Mr. Caminata, I'm not... - Will you stop with this "Mister"? 1241 01:19:25,276 --> 01:19:27,998 - My name is Gervasio! - Your name is Gervasio? 1242 01:19:27,999 --> 01:19:29,813 - Yes! - And that's what I'm supposed to call you? 1243 01:19:29,814 --> 01:19:31,830 - I'd be obliged if you would, Michele! - Gervasio... 1244 01:19:31,831 --> 01:19:35,358 - Yes, Michele? - Fuck you! You can take your note and shove it! 1245 01:19:35,763 --> 01:19:40,095 It's the kind of luck I've always had. He wouldn't pay what he owed me, the rich bastard! 1246 01:19:40,400 --> 01:19:42,999 So, in effect, you didn't win! 1247 01:19:43,220 --> 01:19:46,852 You must know that without that money, I couldn't possibly go away with you! 1248 01:19:46,853 --> 01:19:50,179 - You need that money to leave here! - Yes, but it just means waiting a while longer. 1249 01:19:50,180 --> 01:19:53,002 He gave me a promissory note for four months. Four months isn't so bad! 1250 01:19:53,084 --> 01:19:56,430 - But we can't live for four months on credit! - We'll manage, I promise. 1251 01:19:56,431 --> 01:20:00,161 You'll have all the money you need. You just let me work it out. My word of honor! 1252 01:20:00,363 --> 01:20:03,185 Whenever Michele Cammagliulo says he'll do something, you can bet on it! 1253 01:20:03,388 --> 01:20:06,813 - I just had a marvelous idea! - You have? That's wonderful! 1254 01:20:10,066 --> 01:20:13,082 Hey now! That's not what I had in mind! 1255 01:20:13,083 --> 01:20:14,603 Why don't we just relax, if that's possible! 1256 01:20:15,309 --> 01:20:19,326 A little peace and quiet... And give my needle a rest! 1257 01:20:22,764 --> 01:20:28,949 Don't you know by now? You must have the strength to do better than that! 1258 01:20:29,350 --> 01:20:30,664 I'm sorry... 1259 01:20:36,213 --> 01:20:39,136 This tastes awful! Has someone bathed in it? 1260 01:20:39,540 --> 01:20:43,874 - Let me ask you a couple of questions. - I'm ready! Is it some kind of quiz? 1261 01:20:43,875 --> 01:20:46,697 Yes, you might call it a quiz. Now pay attention and concentrate. 1262 01:20:46,698 --> 01:20:48,714 Open your ears and keep your mouth shut! You ready? 1263 01:20:48,715 --> 01:20:54,158 Suppose I say to you, Tonino, tonight you won't be seeing Miss Monica or Miss Giuila? 1264 01:20:54,159 --> 01:20:56,779 - Instead, you'll stay put in your room. - I'd say, I'm sorry, but I must see them! 1265 01:20:56,780 --> 01:20:59,401 - Why is that? - Because those two ladies, they... 1266 01:20:59,402 --> 01:21:02,325 - ... pay me to see them! - Marvelous! You see, you're not so stupid. 1267 01:21:02,326 --> 01:21:04,947 - Thanks, Mr. Michele! - You appear to be, but you're not! 1268 01:21:04,948 --> 01:21:08,072 And it's true, you take care of the sisters because they pay you. 1269 01:21:08,275 --> 01:21:10,291 But tonight, you're not going to take care of them! 1270 01:21:11,098 --> 01:21:13,819 - But my pay... ? - You won't lose a bit of the money, Tonino. 1271 01:21:13,820 --> 01:21:16,139 I'm going to pay you out of my own pocket. 1272 01:21:17,652 --> 01:21:19,164 - Three hundred! - What?? 1273 01:21:19,165 --> 01:21:23,196 - 300.000! - You're telling me that they pay you... 1274 01:21:23,197 --> 01:21:27,320 - You know about my penus... - You're very funny, Tonino. Very funny... 1275 01:21:28,137 --> 01:21:31,866 - I don't know... could we make it... ? - No, that's too much, Tonino! 1276 01:21:31,867 --> 01:21:34,186 - That's too much. Just forget it! - But you don't know what I was going to say! 1277 01:21:34,187 --> 01:21:38,118 It doesn't matter, Tonino. No deal! 2.000? 1278 01:21:38,119 --> 01:21:39,833 - No! - 20.000? 1279 01:21:39,834 --> 01:21:41,546 200.000... 1280 01:21:41,647 --> 01:21:43,161 200.000? 1281 01:21:44,064 --> 01:21:48,000 What a nerve you've got, Tonino! What I'll do is give you 50.000 because I'm in a hurry. 1282 01:21:48,001 --> 01:21:50,420 And you're a friend. You won't get a better offer from anyone. 1283 01:21:50,925 --> 01:21:54,453 Tonight you'll stay away, and tomorrow you can say you had an upset stomach. 1284 01:21:54,454 --> 01:21:55,663 - And you'll pay? - Sure... I'll pay! 1285 01:21:55,664 --> 01:21:57,076 - I hear you, but... - Yes? 1286 01:21:57,877 --> 01:21:59,294 - There's just one more thing! - Yes... what? 1287 01:21:59,295 --> 01:22:02,520 It's this room! I don't know... it's depressing! 1288 01:22:03,227 --> 01:22:04,940 - It's depressing? - Yup... 1289 01:22:04,941 --> 01:22:07,663 You used to sleep in the back room at the store, on top of the shoe boxes. 1290 01:22:07,664 --> 01:22:09,680 - I'm trying to forget about that. - Things are looking up now? 1291 01:22:09,681 --> 01:22:14,418 You're treating yourself well! New suspenders... I'll speak with the ladies and see what we can do! 1292 01:22:14,419 --> 01:22:18,148 - Is there any other room you have in mind? - Oh, I don't know. How about... 1293 01:22:18,149 --> 01:22:20,367 - ... your room. - My room? 1294 01:22:20,368 --> 01:22:22,384 Yeah... that'll be fine. 1295 01:22:23,442 --> 01:22:24,853 That boy has no shame... 1296 01:22:25,054 --> 01:22:27,575 - Well then, knock again! - I did, and got the same reply. 1297 01:22:27,576 --> 01:22:31,197 Tonino says he's staying in bed tonight because he doesn't feel well. 1298 01:22:31,298 --> 01:22:35,730 The pig! Are you feeling unwell yourself? 1299 01:22:36,134 --> 01:22:38,254 - How about if I try? - Are you crazy? 1300 01:22:38,255 --> 01:22:41,178 It would wake up the entire house... or you could get Michele. 1301 01:22:41,579 --> 01:22:44,695 - Isn't Michelle playing cards tonight? - He didn't go... 1302 01:22:47,696 --> 01:22:49,337 No, my loves... 1303 01:22:50,148 --> 01:22:54,282 No cards tonight! I'd like to try a new game... 1304 01:22:55,588 --> 01:23:00,732 - Ah, Michele! What's the matter, dear? - Save the hypocrisy, Monica! 1305 01:23:00,733 --> 01:23:03,453 I know what you've been up to, behind my back! 1306 01:23:03,558 --> 01:23:07,180 - Like a couple of whoring rabbits! - Oh! Must you be so vulgar, darling? 1307 01:23:07,181 --> 01:23:09,102 How dare you impugn my behavior! 1308 01:23:09,103 --> 01:23:13,032 Cut the charade! I've known for a long time that you two work together! 1309 01:23:13,736 --> 01:23:15,959 - I'm not listening to any more of this... - Did you think I was that stupid? 1310 01:23:16,160 --> 01:23:18,779 Like I said, tonight it's a new game. Get ready! 1311 01:23:18,830 --> 01:23:23,077 - And what is this new game, if I might ask? - The first person who cries enough is out ... 1312 01:23:23,078 --> 01:23:28,104 - ... and pays a penalty: 5 million lire! - You're just blowing smoke! 1313 01:23:28,105 --> 01:23:31,633 - Where will you get 5 million if we win? - Easy... 1314 01:23:32,539 --> 01:23:35,972 I'll use my severance pay. You know, all that money the Ministry withheld... 1315 01:23:36,073 --> 01:23:41,109 You're on, Michele, but you'd better be careful! 1316 01:23:41,110 --> 01:23:44,739 You may lose everything by crying uncle first! 1317 01:23:44,844 --> 01:23:49,478 - Really? You think I'm going to lose? - Yes, you may well lose, Michele... 1318 01:23:49,479 --> 01:23:52,106 You've never been to bed with Monica and me, together! 1319 01:23:52,107 --> 01:23:54,320 I'm not afraid of you two! 1320 01:23:54,321 --> 01:23:59,562 I hope you realize, Michele, that this isn't a challenge. It's suicide... 1321 01:23:59,563 --> 01:24:02,386 Go ahead, attack! My defenses are up! 1322 01:24:02,387 --> 01:24:07,023 - I'll give you one chance to back out... - No! What I said, stands! 1323 01:24:07,024 --> 01:24:11,157 You'll never make it, Michele! Surrender! 1324 01:24:12,065 --> 01:24:14,981 - I am a god among studs! - Michele... ! 1325 01:24:18,615 --> 01:24:20,331 Come in, doctor! It's an emergency! 1326 01:24:20,836 --> 01:24:22,448 In there! Come on... 1327 01:24:23,256 --> 01:24:25,070 This way, doctor. Hurry! 1328 01:24:25,877 --> 01:24:27,289 Will you hurry? 1329 01:24:29,910 --> 01:24:31,220 This way, doctor... 1330 01:24:32,225 --> 01:24:34,039 It looks like a heart attack! 1331 01:24:34,746 --> 01:24:38,376 Please... help the ladies. I'll survive ... 1332 01:24:38,401 --> 01:24:40,618 ... but they may be dead! I hope you've come in time! 1333 01:24:41,519 --> 01:24:45,185 - The women... the poor women... - What have you done? 1334 01:24:46,744 --> 01:24:49,564 - I just lost control... - Murderer! 1335 01:24:55,013 --> 01:24:58,213 The check... Eva! 1336 01:25:00,314 --> 01:25:02,939 Eva!! It's 5 million... ! 1337 01:25:14,674 --> 01:25:16,083 Is this how... 1338 01:25:19,709 --> 01:25:21,730 Eva... I didn't give it to you. 1339 01:25:22,031 --> 01:25:25,557 How could you? With Tonino? Tonino? 1340 01:25:25,860 --> 01:25:28,279 - Why did you do this to me, Eva? - Michele? Michele? 1341 01:25:28,280 --> 01:25:29,897 - Why did you do this to me... - Michele! It's me! 1342 01:25:30,198 --> 01:25:33,926 Peppino!? Eva? Where's Eva? 1343 01:25:33,927 --> 01:25:35,539 Eva's not here. She went to the station. 1344 01:25:35,540 --> 01:25:37,556 - The station? You mean she's gone? - Yeah... 1345 01:25:37,759 --> 01:25:39,875 - What message did she leave for me? - There isn't any... 1346 01:25:39,876 --> 01:25:41,691 - There must be! - But there isn't... 1347 01:25:41,692 --> 01:25:44,212 There must be an envelope with a letter - a message! 1348 01:25:44,213 --> 01:25:50,865 There's nothing? Just a second! When I fell, I was holding... look in the pocket of my robe! 1349 01:25:50,866 --> 01:25:52,882 - This one over here? - I want to see if there's a piece of paper... 1350 01:25:52,883 --> 01:25:55,403 When I fainted, I was holding it in my hand. A piece of paper... 1351 01:25:55,404 --> 01:25:57,419 Look in the other side... 1352 01:25:57,420 --> 01:25:59,436 Did you look in that side? The other side? 1353 01:25:59,437 --> 01:26:01,655 There's another pocket! Look once more! 1354 01:26:01,656 --> 01:26:04,075 - Try the inside... - There is no inside pcoket... 1355 01:26:04,076 --> 01:26:06,999 - That's all! That finishes it... - That finishes it... 1356 01:26:07,000 --> 01:26:08,915 - It's empty, then? - It's empty! Look! 1357 01:26:08,916 --> 01:26:11,133 She took it! That bitch! 1358 01:26:11,637 --> 01:26:12,848 - Hey, where are you going? - After Eva! 1359 01:26:12,849 --> 01:26:14,764 - Are you crazy, Michele? She's run away! - What do you mean? 1360 01:26:14,765 --> 01:26:16,781 - She ran away from her worthless husband! - Alberto? 1361 01:26:16,782 --> 01:26:19,605 - Yeah! She's leaving on the next train. - She's waiting for me at the station! 1362 01:26:19,606 --> 01:26:21,106 Wait, Michele! You need to know... 1363 01:26:32,096 --> 01:26:35,125 - Excuse me! Did you see a tall guy in pajamas? - Yes, just a few minutes ago... 1364 01:26:35,126 --> 01:26:37,643 - Which way did he go? - Which way would you go, dressed like that? 1365 01:26:37,644 --> 01:26:39,557 The sleeping car, naturally... 1366 01:26:54,803 --> 01:26:56,496 Eva! 1367 01:26:59,602 --> 01:27:01,133 You mustn't leave me, Eva! 1368 01:27:01,134 --> 01:27:02,747 How can you treat me like this? 1369 01:27:02,748 --> 01:27:05,169 - Who's he, a friend of yours? - Are you kidding? 1370 01:27:05,470 --> 01:27:08,495 So, what do you want? What more is there to say? 1371 01:27:08,596 --> 01:27:12,225 There's just one thing to say. You've got to give me the check. I'm desperate! 1372 01:27:12,326 --> 01:27:14,504 - It's mine now! - How can it be yours? 1373 01:27:14,545 --> 01:27:17,468 Don't be like that, Eva! You know it's my check! 1374 01:27:17,469 --> 01:27:21,096 - The one you took from me in the bathroom... - Ah... so that's all you really care about! 1375 01:27:21,097 --> 01:27:22,908 That's all this is about. You're a fool! 1376 01:27:23,021 --> 01:27:27,148 But that money is mine, Eva! It's money I worked for! 1377 01:27:27,149 --> 01:27:29,971 - And I didn't? - No... don't say that! 1378 01:27:29,972 --> 01:27:34,407 - I've got to have that money! Please... - You'll just have to try and win in back. 1379 01:27:34,912 --> 01:27:36,130 - That's what I'd do... - No! This isn't like you! 1380 01:27:36,231 --> 01:27:39,431 After all we planned, you're nothing but a thief! 1381 01:27:39,457 --> 01:27:42,178 Say something, you dirty crook! 1382 01:27:42,482 --> 01:27:43,893 You German bitch! 1383 01:27:45,313 --> 01:27:49,329 Eva... denari seno te! [Your breasts are your fortune!] 1384 01:27:49,533 --> 01:27:52,352 That was so romantic. What did it mean? 1385 01:27:52,353 --> 01:27:54,070 - A wasp doesn't purr. - What? 1386 01:27:54,675 --> 01:27:56,086 Good luck, you whore! 1387 01:27:58,406 --> 01:27:59,918 You dirty... 1388 01:28:03,037 --> 01:28:07,881 Michele! Michele, say something! Talk to me, Michele! 1389 01:28:12,049 --> 01:28:13,249 No more... 1390 01:28:16,150 --> 01:28:18,670 Who could have predicted it? He was so young... 1391 01:28:18,670 --> 01:28:21,039 But he picked the best way to die! 1392 01:28:21,140 --> 01:28:23,458 Thank you, but he leaves an awful gap in our lives. 1393 01:28:23,560 --> 01:28:25,872 He leaves me feeling empty... empty! 1394 01:28:31,724 --> 01:28:34,245 You missed a beautiful service! 1395 01:28:34,448 --> 01:28:37,068 Honestly! How we all mourned! 1396 01:28:37,472 --> 01:28:39,487 Poor Tonino... 1397 01:28:43,919 --> 01:28:51,075 I'll always remember him. You have to admire his courage, but he was in over his head! 1398 01:28:52,392 --> 01:28:58,522 Well, let's go home an eat. It's getting late! 1399 01:29:08,007 --> 01:29:10,524 Hey! What's your game? 135520