Original subtitles

True is opposite of false.

Truth involves faithfulness, loyalty and sincerity.

Truth is rarely pure and simple.

So, simple unless you become a child..

Continue.

..you won't be able to understand it.

Where there is no truth, there is no knowledge.

The only source of truth is time.

Nothing but truth will give you peace and happiness.

Three things cannot be hidden.

The sun, the moon and the truth.

Repeat.

Three things cannot be hidden. The sun, the moon and the truth.

The girls speak such good English! Superb.

- You ask. - You do it.

Dad, what is cognisant?

Ask Siri.

He doesn't know.

Popi, Mumu, hurry up. Dad's getting late.

Quick!

Dad.

My dear girls!

Go, continue with your studies.

Go safe. - Yes.

That's mine.

Hope you enquired thoroughly.

Don't worry.

Call me if anything's amiss.

Yes.

Quiet. Quiet.

French kiss, French kiss!

What did they say?

- They know everything. - How?

Everything's taught in schools these days.

- School? - Right?

Yes.

When XY chromosome mate,..

..it's a male.

And when XX chromosome mate,..

..it's a female.

What did they say about XYZ?

They were talking about making babies.

I see..

- They.. - Don't bother.

They'll understand the world sooner.

- Let me cover up fully. - Move that side.

Give me the quilt.

Mr. Agarwal's dog Leo was stolen..

...6 months ago.

The police haven't found it yet.

No, madam. You see....

Our policemen frequent different areas..

- ...and call out for Leo. - Leo!

There you go.

Leo!

Leo!

Keep quiet, Leo.

It's me.

What happened?

Hello.

Today?

- Where to? - Virar.

Sejal's getting married.

- This month. - I know.

Get Sejal a new sari.

'Patola'.

God.

It's good, you have homes to hire you.

What work?

Day and night, I just toil.

Leaving, brother?

Hi, sir. I'm Virat Kohli.

Duplicate is duplicate.

Thank you, sir.

And original..

..is original.

How did you like it?

- Awesome. - And the song?

I meant the song was awesome.

I mean, fireworks.

Boys enthralled...

..too good.

And you?

Me too, well..

Money... 75,000.

We'd decided on 200,000, right?

I have it.

I have it in my pocket.

I've kept it separately.

Because once we are done..

Take the money.

C'mon, madam. You're bold.

Someone might see us.

Sir,..

..vanity vans don't have CCTVs.

Leave.

Stop!

- Stop... - Enough of photos.

- Move aside. - Enough!

- Move aside. - Come, madam.

Come.

Come.

What will you say if you get a call?

What?

Where did sir go?

Delhi.

Delhi.

Body building Competitions...

- Hello. - Hello.

Anjali Patil here.

Yes, Anjali madam.

Where's Mr Patil?

He just left for Delhi.

I see.

This is Anjali Patil.

Yes, madam.

Sir has apparently gone to Delhi.

I see.

Enquire.

Do I hang up?

Sure.

You found such good place.

Yet too good.

You like that, don't you?

But the song was awesome.

Huh, I've done many such events.

Plus one class, you see

Plus one? What's that?

Plus one means..

..the song is recorded beforehand.

I only give the lip movement.

That means my money got wasted.

What's this?

It's the game of lips, you see.

Oil, wheat, split gram, peanuts, rice, tea leaves,..

..fennel seeds, detergent, dome 2...

Detergent, condom 2..

School fees, medicines, newspaper,..

Total 33, 313.

33,313.

1,2,3.. 16..

This is 1000.

1.. 2.. 3..

33,400.. it's 33, 400.

33,400.. That makes 87 is left..

50, 60, 70, 80..

85, 86..

87.. better.

Which flight, sir?

Mumbai-Delhi Air India.

72412

Flight is on time, sir.

Thank you.

Have a good day.

- Patil! - Yes.

Today we are going to get late.

Okay.

Inform at your home.

''Fill the glass to the brim.''

''Let it spill over.''

10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100

Apply brakes.

Hello.

Don't pretend to be asleep. It's me.

Who?

What do you mean? It's me, Asha.

Asha.

- Hello. - Why do you call me up now?

Hello.

- Silly... - Hello.

Asha!

Are you mad?

I've come here to rob.

Why did you call me? Have you no sense?

What's this?

You left at 8.30. It's 11 now.

So?

I was worried so I called.

You...

Asha, tell me..

..why did I give you the number of this place?

- To call if I miss you. - No.

If I die..

If I ever get caught,..

...I'll call you from this number..

..so you'll see it on your mobile.

Thus, you'll know I'm calling from here.

I was to call you. Why did you call me?

Scared?

Come on.

- A bit. - Listen...

- Come home soon. - Okay.

The girls slept.

- So? - The girls slept.

- Okay. - And listen.

Even if the list says 35,000,...

..don't get only that much.

Get around 4-5 million.

- 4-5 million? - Yes.

Asha,..

..I'm a small peg.

I'm a petty thief.

Fine, at least get 500,000.

Time is getting wasted...

You're wasting my time, don't you realise?

Wow what a thing to say to me!

Look, that's not what I meant...

I worry about you.

Do you even realize?

I am here to accomplish something, Asha.

I don't know what to do.

- Fine, what have you decided? - Great!

Now...

...good thing to say.

Asha, am I here to fool around?

I've entered somebody's house...

...to steal..

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Why are you quiet? Hello.

- Hello. - Hello.

Hello.. Where are you...

Hello.

- Hello. - What was that noise?

Pendulum.

That which makes sound..

Meaning?

Clock.

Must be an antique.

Maybe.

- Is it heavy? - Heavy?

Do you want me to get that clock home?

What made you think I'd want a clock?

But do you ever think of gifting something to your wife?

Ever think of it?

Here's a fridge as big as our house.

Should I get that for you?

Don't shout. You're not at home.

Sorry..

If someone overhears, what will he think of you?

Exactly, what if someone overhears?

Fine, listen..

..bring anything.

I leave the choice up to you.

Asha,..

..sitting here right now..

...how can I think what you'll like?

There are a million things on my mind.

Fine..

..in that case, I'll come over and check things out.

No.. Asha, is this a mall?

I also want to see homes of rich people.

I want to spend a night there.

Listen, Ashu..

Ashudi.. - Yes.

..swear upon our daughters,..

...I..

Oh really?

I'll get whatever you like.

- Really? - I promise.

Come soon then.

Okay.

Will you hang up now?

You first.

This is our.. wait a minute.

Pintya is not at home.

- What's wrong? - The lights are on.

- The lights went off. - I did that.

I meant the farmhouse.

You sure there's nobody in there?

No.

We were supposed to come here, so I gave an off to the servants.

Must be some fault from MSEB department.

Take the bag and leave.

- Oh no! - It's okay.

There's no network here?

Welcome.

Lovely farmhouse.

It has to be.

I'll be back.

Hope your wife won't turn up.

She'd off to a kitty party.

She'll go home if at all.

Why will she come to the farmhouse?

Phone.

My servant keeps things in the wrong places.

I'll be back.

I've something to ask.

Why do you like me?

Too good... Too good dancing.

Singing... Good.

And bold.

And courageous..

You look ravishing!

Pretty.

Gorgeous and silky.

I see.

So I am only for..

No, nothing like that.

If that's the case, tell me clearly.

Don't lie and spoil things.

False claims of love and all.

If that's it, so be it.

Do you know..

..why I like you?

Why?

You're great for one night.

What's wrong?

I was joking. Why get so serious?

It's not that I don't love my husband.

I love him.

But you see, I sing.

But he doesn't value it.

He keeps bickering all the time.

He also keeps busy.

But you need someone to understand you.

Let's speak in the bedroom.

But you're different.

I mean you're nice despite being a politician.

You have ears...

Ears?

Everyone has ears.

Yes.

Listen to me...

Let's talk in the bedroom.

You're not short-tempered like my husband.

Best.

Shraddha,..

..let's speak in the bedroom?

What?

What's the hurry?

Please go in the bedroom.

If you're going to be desperate, I'm leaving. Get lost.

That's best.

Idiot.

Sorry.

I mean, I'll understand you there.

Understand.. Sit down.

Please.

Forget it.

''I like..''

..''this earth..''

...this river..''

..''this night..''

''And?''

''And you.''

What's wrong?

Amar?

''I like..''

''I like..''

- ''I like..'' - Quiet.

Amar, what happened?

Okay, sorry.

Sorry, let's go to the bedroom.

I'm sorry.

- What are you looking for? - Magazine.

That's in the car.

Of this one.

Okay.

Sorry.

Amar..

Amar?

What happened?

What happened, Amar?

Amar.

Stay quiet.

What are you doing with the gun?

Where are you going?

Who is calling you this late?

Speak softly or you'll be heard.

You've to answer to be heard, coward!

- Is it your wife? - No.

I told her I'm going to Delhi. Let it ring.

Don't answer it.

It stopped ringing.

I guess he left.

But earlier 'And'?

Who said that?

How would I know?

Whose calling you this late here?

How would I know?

Forget it.

What will you have?

You.

Gin.

Cheers.

Where are you looking?

You should look in the eye when you say cheers.

Why?

It increases your stamina.

Increases...

Looking in the eye increases stamina.

Where's the bedroom?

Shall we freshen up?

Fresh..

Come.

Coming?

My finger was stuck..

Take right.

Drive.

Drive slowly.

Hello.

Don't speak in a different voice. I know it's you.

Oh no!

Your wife called up.

Oh no! What do we do now?

What now? How did your wife call here?

- Oh God! I'm leaving. - Shraddha.

Shraddha.

Don't answer that.

- Don't answer... - Hey!

It's the clock.

Oh no! Oh no.

Oh no! Shraddha, you're in deep shit.

Why did I come here? I should've just sung.

I wanted an album! Shut up.

God, how do I leave? What if I get caught?

I will get jailed. No.

I'm too young to get jailed.

We must stop all this. Quiet.

I'm leaving.

She called again.

Don't answer.

Phone..

Phone.

Go ahead.

- Hello. - Hello.

Hello.

- Hello. - Hello.

Hello.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Hello. - Hello.

Who is with you?

Nobody.

Tell me honestly. I heard a woman.

No, I can't believe this.

I never imagined you'd do this to me.

It's not what you think.

It's not?

Now I realise why you're always late.

- It's not like that? - Really? Then how's it?

I thought work keeps you busy.

But you're busy with other things.

Asha.

- You? - Yes, you.

Should I address you as sir?

- Wait till you get home. - Home?

I will see you then.

Hello.

Who's calling?

Really?

Who's calling?

- Forgot me? - No.

Obviously.

You don't need me anymore.

- No...Yes. - No?

You have that slut now.

You don't care about the kids either?

I don't have kids.

My kids.

I'm unfortunate.

You forgot Popi and Mumu?

Hello, who humpy..

Hello, Mumu, Pinku..

Who? This is Amarjeet Patil.

Amarjeet Patil it seems!

Amarjeet Patil is the owner of that huge farmhouse.

Huh?!

That's the one.

I'm Amarjeet Patil, the owner of the huge farmhouse.

Who are you?

Hello?

- Hello? - Hello.

Yes.

Amarjeet Patil?

Yes.

It's really you?

Yes.

The owner Amarjeet Patil?

Yes, the owner.

When did you return?

About an hour ago.

Is it?

Forgive me, I thought it's my husband.

It's okay.

- How's your wife? - Wife?

Hello, who's this?

I'm his wife.

I got your number from my husband.

Whose wife?

Why did he give you my number?

How did he get my number?

I'll tell you something only if you don't get angry.

Please tell me. I..

I want to sleep.

I see.

No wonder I heard your wife.

Wife?

I'm truly sorry.

It's okay.

Weren't you supposed to go to Delhi?

Hello?

Hello.

What's wrong?

How do you know?

I know.

I know that you know.

But I want to know..

...how you got to know about my trip to Delhi.

He told me.

- Your husband? - Yes.

But how did he learn of it?

You see, my husband is that..

I mean, my husband is a thief.

What?

Some people doctors, lawyers, engineers.

My husband is a thief.

- Thief? - Yes.

He's in your house to steal.

Hello.

Hello, Mr. Patil.

Mr. Patil.

What happened?

Are you listening to me?

Mr. Patil, hello.

Hello.

That means..

...your husband came to rob my house..

..and you called to inform me about that?

No, it's not like that.

I've something to discuss.

He left home at 8.

It's midnight and he hasn't returned so I got worried.

Can you please call him?

Amar.

Thief!

Your wife's on the phone.

Coming.

What happened?

Stay away!

- I won't do anything. - Go..

Oh God!

Amar. Amar, he's thief.

He's thief.

Amar.

Slowly.

I won't spare you.

I won't spare you today.

- Amar! - Hey.

Amar, catch him.

Stop! What are you doing?

Stop.

- Amar, catch him. - I will shoot.

- Stop or I'll shoot. - Amar.

Catch him. - Wait a minute.

He fell!

He fell.

- He fell. - Move aside.

What are you doing?

I won't spare him.

Open it quickly.

Hurry up. He has fallen down.

Want me to break the door?

Amar. Amar.

- Stop! - Hey.

Stop, you idiot. I won't spare you.

Hey, this way.

God bless you.

- What's it? - Sorry.

This way.

Your leg.

Your leg.

There..

My..

Idiot..

- Amar! - Hey!

Amar!

Water. It was cold.

What are you doing, Amar?

Amar?

Yuck.

Gone.

Sit.

Sit down.

Bring out your weapon if you have any.

There's none.

Tell the truth.

There's just one.

Show.

It's inside.

Get it out.

Forget it, sir. It's a small thing.

Shut up.

I want to see it.

- Amar! - Where?

- Do I take it out? - Amar?

Look.

It's a small cutter.

Don't be scared.

That's my wife calling. May I?

Tell her not to call here again.

- Hello. - Hope they're not hurting you.

No, I'm fine.

- Should I come there? - No.

Not required.

Look, don't get into trouble for your daughters' sake.

Listen..

..love.

- I love you. - How sweet!

Come fast.

- You.. - Idiot.

- Sit here. - Yes.

- Have you lost it? - No, I hurt my hand. Here..

Hey...

..you came here to steal..

...and gave my number to your wife?

I'm honest, sir.

- Meaning? - I mean..

..I'm not like you, sir.

You say you're going to Delhi but came here.

- Hey! - You..

Amar, control.

- Amar, please don't shoot. - Should I?

No, Amar! Please control yourself.

If you shoot, blood will splatter all around.

Let's bury him up instead.

I accept. I accept. I accept.

- I didn't marry that way. - Let's burn him then.

No, I didn't marry in a temple either.

You..

Tell me what you did..

...so I can decided how to kill you.

Register.

It was a court marriage.

Really?

What a good decision!

Spend your parents' hard-earned money at the wedding..

...and couple only keeps fighting. Pathetic.

No, madam. I'm honest.

I never fight with my wife. We love each other dearly.

How sweet! When did you marry?

The month of March, mango trees were blossoming..

You and the mango trees...

My flower wilted because of you...

Wait, I'll hand you over to the police.

He's honest, right?

- So he won't get arrested easily. - Amar!

- What are you doing? - Making a call.

No calling your wife.

No, I'm calling the police.

- Why? - I mean..

..you tell the cops about me..

...and on the same call..

..I'll tell them about you.

Amar!

Elections are around the corner, sir.

100..

Sit.

Sit.

What do you want?

- Let me go home. - Tell me what all you stole.

If you've taken nothing, leave.

- Hey! What are you doing? - Amar.

Laptop.

You use a laptop?

Stay quiet.

Sorry.

Madam, it's only a laptop bag.

I'll tell you.

- Be comfortable do too. - Yeah sure.

Sir, you too be comfortable and sit.

Yes.

Madam, please hand me the shoes.

Sir, madam,..

..I wanted Rs 33,313.

I took 33,400.

But the remaining 87 bucks..

I kept the change right there.

Sir, do you have an LED bulb.

Bulb?

Not that, sir. It has heated.

Do you have a 'patola' sari?

I'm sure you don't wear saris.

Does your wife have a 'patola' sari?

'Patola'? I heard that for the first time.

Is it? Okay then...

...I'm sure you have Japanese oil.

You'll need it, right?

No problem. You were great help. Thank you.

It's not good to be so honest.

Madam, I didn't say I'm that honest.

- Oh no! - I'm going to shoot.

No, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to shoot you.

Madam.

Don't you get it? Your wife sent a detective after us.

Detective?

An honest thief? Impossible.

He's a freaking spy!

- He's a freaking spy! - Put the gun down.

He's a freaking spy!

You...

Are you mad?

Why did you shoot?

- Sorry. - I spent 500,000 on the interiors.

That chair costs 80,000.

It's an antique.

Why did you shoot?

What if he had died?

- Use it only to scare people. - Right.

- Not to kill. - No!

- Put that down. - Down.

Shut up.

Put that down.

- Down. - Yes.

Clock.

Clock.

Sorry.

Sorry.

- Sir, this woman is mad. - Sorry.

- She's mad. - She's mad.

She shot bullets.

- She's mad. Send her home. - I'll send her home.

What send her home? You stay here.

- Let me go home. - You also stay here.

Please, listen sir.

- Sir.. - Come on. Get lost.

Madam.

Move.

Why's he doing this, madam?

Please don't do this, sir. Please, tell him.

You ruined my night like that stuffed chair.

Get lost.

What a man he is!

What about my 87 bucks?

I kept it in your safe.

Please return that.

That bag and cutter are mine.

Please return that. Tell him.

Now you won't get anything from this house.

Get lost.

Fine.

I'll go straight to the police..

..and tell them everything.

Amar!

What are you talking about the police?

Amarjeet Patil pays off the police.

You better leave.

Free loader! Keep that.

What all will he do in one night?

Madam, I'm telling you,..

..continue singing.

You have a nice voice.

Really?

Keep practicing.

What's he talking about?

Who's this man?

Madam, great choice!

Wife...

Sir, I think..

That must be my wife.

Open it.

You... wait a minute.

You..

You gave your wife the address?

I told you, I'm honest...

..unlike you..

Got it. Move.

What's this?

Sir,...

- ...it's not my wife. - Okay.

God.

What happened? Who is it?

It's my wife.

Anjali.

What?

Sir, your support system collapsed.

Hold her, Sir!

Her lungs are blocked?

That's not needed.

- Shraddha, get up. - Your wife..

- Madam, have sugar. - wife.

- You'll feel better. - No sugar. I'm on a diet.

Wife ringing bell...

Sir, see you. Take care.

- Where are you going? - Wife..

- Friend, where are you going? - Oh dear!

Let me go.

- Please don't go. - Don't stop me.

- Don't go. Wait a while. - Let me go. Let me go.

Sir, leave me. You can handle the police also.

- I'm at a loss. I fear the police. - Stop.

- My beloved, you're an angel. - Amar, she's knocking the door.

- Amar... - I don't understand politicians.

First he was hunting me out.

Now, he wants my support.

Moreover you brought this woman over.

Without documents..

Don't beat him. He's my God.

Patil!

- Patil! - Amar!

- Hey.. - Amar!

Please don't go.

Patil!

If you go and she finds just us..

Look.. wait..

- Where are you off to? Stop. - Chocolates?

Come here.

Look.

- Amar! - Keep it.

Only this much?

To be honest, you were enjoying with Shraddha...

Don't mention that now.

Honesty can't be bought.

You have to earn it.

Lying costs money.

- Patil. - Amar.

- Give it to him. - Yes.

- Take this. - Give more.

- 2000. Take two more. - Okay.

- You'll wait, right? - Please.

Please.

Now, I must go.

Stop. Stop.

Listen.

- Listen, for now... - Amar.

For now...

For now...

For now..

Just wait, my bum is on fire..

- Let me decide. - Amar.

For now..

- ..be her husband. - No... no way.

- Why should I be his wife? No... way. - What?

Do you want her to kill you?

No, I'm his wife. Yes.

I'll open the door.

No...

Let me..

Sir.... let me..

Don't do that.

Patil!

- You're Paramjeet Ahluwalia. - What?

Patil!

Don't...

Quick.

Don't open the door.

Don't open it...

Sit here.

Sit down.

These are my friends.

Hello.

They've come from Punjab.

Greetings.

Hello.

Paramjeet Ahluwalia.

And she..

I mean this lady..

...is Mrs Ahluwalia.

His wife.

- Mrs... - Suzanne.

Suzanne.

My wife.

Suzanne.

Suzanne Ahluwalia.

Hello.

Hello.

Amar,..

...wife?

Take a guess.

How did I know?

How?

Only a wife can dare to bang on the door..

..incessantly in the middle of the night!

He...

Actually, he..

Dalai Lama was supposed to meet us.

He was to meet us in Delhi.

Amar was to come.

Forgive me, sister,..

...I fumble when I mix Punjabi and Marathi.

Yes.

Amar was supposed to meet us in Delhi.

But the flight ill...

It was cancelled.

He requested us to come so we did.

What cancel?

The flight was on time.

Amar..

..why did you say the flight was cancelled?

My visit was cancelled.

But I did go to the airport.

Really?

I had horrible and terrible..

..acidity..

You're bound to get acidity..

He stays up all night.

With such hotness...

I mean the weather..

The temperature's soaring.

Moreover forsaking home..

..and eating out..

..is bound to cause acidity.

So,..

..Amar begged me to come so I did.

You came right away?

Yes.

From Punjab?

Yes.

He's a rich man.

- Right? - We're Punjabis.

He's affluent back there.

They own a private jet.

That's how they came.

Private jet.

Bit too much.

So, everything fine?

- All is well? - Yes.

I'll be back.

What have you done?

See for yourself.

I found things like this when I arrived.

Pitya!

Pitya isn't vigilant.

I'll be back.

Why is he wet?

- Actually.. - That's a funny story.

Paramjeet,..

..tell her.

The funny story!

I've to tell her!

He finds everything funny.

What do I tell you?

What do I tell you!

We were drinking...

..and chatting outside.

As we chatted, it was over.

The bottle, I mean.

Then...

...to fetch a bottle, I turned..

...and fell and soaked...

I fell in the water.

Then he pulled me out..

She held him and I held her..

We held each other and came here.

I got hurt..

Scratched and swollen.

Then you started banging the door.

And there was chaos.

And so...

...it took time...

..to open the door.

You're hurt badly!

You're badly hurt, baby.

Baby!

Baby!

Come, I'll apply ointment.

Okay.

You also brought me the cream.

All right then...

...good night.

Big tiger.

Good night.

- Good night. - Baby, take the box.

Have they eaten? I hope there's water in the room.

Well,..

..forget water..

..he has given us a lot.

I was awestruck!

He kept giving us.

I kept taking.

That's Punjabi culture.

Givers should give..

...and borrowers should take.

That's some Marathi poem, right?

Some poem?

Some poem?

Poem?

Poem?

It's a Marathi phrase.

What phrase?

It's a poetry.

Poetry by Vinda.

Vinda who?

Vinda who?!

Vinda who?

That's the tragedy of Marathi people.

They know Govinda but not Vinda.

Vinda Karandikar.

'Dynanpeeth'.

Don't have.

What?

- Feet - What feet?

Vinda Karandikar won 'Dnyanpeeth' award.

''Even if the path was lost''..

..''the credit wasn't stolen.''

''This new traveller''..

..''will be guided by the stars.''

Vinda Karandikar is a great poet of Maharashtra.

Once he said,...

..good night.

- Let's go. - Wait a minute.

He's from Maharashtra, right?

Why did you say it's Punjabi?

It's the same.

Givers should give and borrowers should take is Marathi culture.

The bestower showers bountiful.

That's Punjabi culture.

Okay.

Good night.

Amar,.. Good night.

Let's go.

Who could be calling now?

You freshen up.

- No.. - Amar..

..hope it's not for me.

Who would call you here?

On the landline at this hour.

Hello, Mr Patil,...

- Yes. - Please put my husband on line.

- He's not answering the phone. - Just a minute.

- It's for you. - Okay.

Amar said there's no network here.

So I gave out this landline number.

I gave the number.

Hello.

Yes, Asha.

Tell me.

You called at this hour?

Any problem of me to you?

Are you drunk?

Yes?

What yes?

Didn't Patil let you go?

I left those lanes behind.

What?

Hello, where your heels..

...emitted sunlight!

I heard evening dwells there now.

It left I suppose.

Okay.

Are you drunk?

No but superb...

Why are you speaking in Hindi?

Should I come there?

No way.

How can you do that to me?

Idiot.

In life...

All the joys of life..

..will be encashed.

- I see. - Yes.

- Are you bringing cash? - Yes!

Come soon.

It's late, hang up now.

Jai Hind.

Jai Maharashtra.

Flying Punjab.

That was the wife of my brother!

Brother's wife called.

She said good night.

Good night.

Shit dreams.

Let's go.

- Good night. - Take care of my bag. I'll be back.

Come.

- Hey! - What?

Me...

I thought you hollerred in Punjabi!

Did you change the bed sheet upstairs?

I'll check.

No..

..I changed it.

Yes.

Change is needed that Suzanne is here.

I brought her here.

I usually don't take her to such meetings.

Okay?

Full and final good night.

Amar, show us the bedroom.

Yes.

Hurry up. Before she calls again.

I've to go in private room.

- Suzanne? - Yes?

Do you want something to drink?

No..

Help yourself.

You... idiot. Come up.

Come on.

Hello.

Yes, madam.

Sir has reached Delhi.

Shut up.

You copied and passed exams.

You're a useless cop.

- You couldn't handle a simple job! - What?

Accomplish at least something in life.

- Me.. - What did I tell you?

Check whether sir reached Delhi.

Madam, he did reach Delhi.

- Sir, let me go home. - What are you doing?

Amar, don't do that.

- Sir, leave me.. - He'll die.

- Don't pull me. - He's not letting me go.

Quiet!

Then who's here on the farmhouse with me?

Sir's ghost?

Madam, I called and confirmed..

...the flight landed in Delhi.

Amar, pull.. pull..

- Oh god! - Sir, let me go. My wife is waiting.

Amar.

What do we do now?

Stop him.

Look at your attire.

- What have you worn and why? - Shut up.

This is all because of you...

...and you're yelling at me. Go to hell.

You will lose her.

What?

He keeps taunting me.

Amar. - Stop, I say.

The flight did land..

Yes..

..but the man who should've been on it..

...is here with me.

What?

He'll get hurt. Those are expensive!

If she asks where the guest disappeared,..

- ..what do I say? - Punjab...

That I went to Punjab.

Punjab...

What details you sought?

My network is strong.

You're focused on only one thing.

Hang up.

How's it possible?

Fine, leave.

- You won't get the money. - Money.

Leave it.

Want the money, right?

- You do, right? - Yes.

Then do as I say. Wear it.

Madam..

..change your clothes.

What good will this do now?

What are you looking at the mirror for?

- Is there a fashion show? - No.

- Come. - Sir, it'll come off...

- What will? - Sir.. it will be visible..

Nothing's visible. Come.

Sir, it will come out.

- Idiot. - Let me go.

- Let it come off. - Listen, it will come off.

Sit here.

Sit here.

What are you doing with that box?

Well..

...that contains apple seeds...

..from Paramjeet.

Apple seeds?

Here?

In Maharashtra?

Wonder how you got elected?

Hey..

...what brings you here?

Just like that.

The kitty party got over soon.

You were supposed to go to Delhi.

So, I thought of coming here to relax.

Stop. Where are you going?

Where are you going? I won't let you go.

I'll shoot you! I will shoot..

I'll freaking shoot you.

- Shoot you. Quiet! - No.

His wife is gorgeous, right?

Yes.

- You.. - Madam...

Shoot me if you will but don't take me out..

I'll just shoot you.

Okay take me out but don't shoot me.

That's really his wife, right?

Of course. Who else could be her husband?

Produce an album of my songs.

Album?

I didn't even make my wedding album..

You will suggest that to sir.

It's mix and match, right?

Yes.

I'll tell sir to produce your album.

And we leave together or you don't leave at all.

So, let's go.

Let's split the money kept upstairs..

..and leave.

Let's flee from this.

Let's flee.

Oh no.

Night dress.

- Hello. - Hello.

Is that Anjali?

Hello.

My husband Nandan is there.

Please hand him the phone.

Who's calling?

I'm his wife.

Why would he come here?

Please don't lie.

He told me he'll be visiting your place tonight.

- What? - Hand him the phone.

No, I'm telling you, he's not here.

Don't lie and hand him the phone.

I have no reason to lie.

I'm telling you, he's there.

How so?

I know that. He told me so.

I told you..

...your husband isn't here.

Look, I just spoke to him.

Who was that?

No idea.

Some woman was asking if her husband came here.

Baby!

Baby!

Hey...

Water.

Don't get scared.

What happened? Are you unwell?

You can't sleep in a new place?

Madam,..

..I lied to you.

Amarjeet,..

Do I tell you the truth?

Huh.

I am hungry.

I left Dharavi at 8 pm.

I left Dharavi at 8 pm...

..towards the flyover.

It's 2 am now...

I haven't eaten anything at all.

I am dizzy.

You didn't offer him food?

Ask him now.

Please wait, I'll make something quickly.

Okay, I'll eat and go..

Go where?

Do you want to sit outside?

Let us all sit.

Outside.

Please sit.

I'll get something to eat.

Come on.

I copied and cleared exams?

4.. 4..

My family insisted..

..I should opt for IAS but no..

I was extra smart to become PSI.

I became one...

..and ended up making enquiries..

..about flights!

Whenever something happens, people sought the police's help.

For festivals, it's the police..

...26th January..

..new year, 'rang panchmi'..

1st May..

Who works on 1st May?

Even labourers don't work on that day.

Whenever something happens, people sought the police's help.

Floods during rains..

...to break the divider..

- 2.. - On 15th August..

..'Ganpati', 'Maghi Ganesh'..

...'Datta Jayanti'..

'Pongal', 'Pateti'..

..'Moharrum', 'Peer'..

..'Bhondu Baba'...

..fairs and pilgrimage..

..'Diwali', 'Eid', Christmas, 'Baisakhi'..

Wow!

Add to that murders, robbery,...

...strikes, curfew,..

..fights, elections..

..'Dahi Handi'..

..smuggling, dance bar,..

..protests, robbery...

- ..patrolling,.. - More.. Great.

..check points,..

And the worse of it all..

...in drink and drive cases..

...we smell people's breath!

Do the police have no worth?

Add to that beggars, loafers, pickpockets..

...and thieves snatching women's chains.

Chain snatchers!

Who do they think of?

Police!

Who dies? The police.

And who gets into trouble? Police.

Everyone enjoys..

...while we have no time to sleep!

Yet we get taunted...

..for not enquiring..

..for flights taking off..

..the man reached..

I did make a call.

I copied and cleared exams!

I copied and cleared exams!

- Sir,.. - Poor thing!

Drive towards the bungalow.

So Paramjeet,..

...what do you do?

- Robbery. - Huh?

Well, in Maharashtra..

I rob top information pertaining to Delhi.

What times we live in!

Maharashtra is dependent on Delhi today.

What do you do?

I'm a housewife.

Housewife?

I see.

Don't wait and wait. Fill the glasses.

Have it.

Toil for 20 hours a day...

Right, sister-in-law?

..and nobody appreciates it.

True, everything has to be taken care of.

My husband is always away.

I know.

He's out again.

The number you're trying to call..

..is not reachable.

The number you're trying to call..

Let's start eating.

Wine! Dravo!

- Bravo. - Right.

Me, too.

Suzanne, what will you have?

In drinks.

Vodka with lime.

Wine.

Vodka with lime.

Amar, slice the lemon.

He wouldn't know how to.

That's not so.

He sure knows any things you're not aware of.

Hidden talent.

Oh God.

Drink up and go to sleep.

- Cheers! - Cheers.

Well..

...what I was saying is...

You're lucky.

Ask me why.

Why?

To get a bewitching wife.

What did you say?

Huh?

I found her instantly.

- Meaning? - I mean..

..some people..

...strive for months..

...but they don't get anything.

Truth is opposite of false.

Truth and sincerity..

Threesome French kiss..

Sun, moon and..

You're right.

Love marriage or orange marriage?

- Love. - Arrange.

- Love. - Arrange.

Marrange.

Love-arrange marriage.

You won't believe this.

Before marriage,..

...she rejected me.

No, I believe you.

Please eat lollipop.

She was supposed to lodge a police complaint.

Am I not right, sir?

She wanted to complain!

Until the marriage,..

...we didn't even know each other.

We hadn't even seen each other.

Sir was present at the wedding.

He got us married.

- Is it? - Yes.

Sir said..

...she's your wife from this moment on.

I said okay.

Sir said marry her right away.

I said okay.

Paramjeet,..

- ..let's go. - Yes, let's go.

Let's smoke.

Take a fag.

Yes, we'll smoke.

It was all in smoke anyway.

Now we'll fag.

Suzanne, baby..

- Give her company. - Yes.

Baby, I'll be gone.

- Back. - Back.

Yes.

- Smoking is injurious.. - Wine?

..to health.

In childhood..

..we used to perform in streets.

Stop smoking. It kills.

It kills.

May I ask?

Please do.

Do you have a cigarette?

Yes.

Yes. I have.

- You do? - Yes.

Let's go.

- Let's go. - Yes. - Come on.

- Come. - Yes.

You...

Stop. Stop running away.

You've spoiled my night.

And now you're running away.

Sir.

Do you think..

..I will let you go?

- Amar, slice the lemon! - Sir.

Suzane has brought the ointment as well.

Sir, it's not that.

What?

I did that all for you, sir.

Don't do that. Think about me.

Wait a minute.

- You.. - Don't do that, sir.

Let me go home. My wife is waiting.

Show some pity.

Please, stop.

Don't tell my husband.

No, it's okay.

Please.. get me out.

No..

How come?

You really had an arrange marriage?

Yes.

How come?

It just happened.

I mean, any..

..rich and handsome man..

...would've agreed to marry you.

How come?

Even I didn't realise. Marriage just happened.

Suzanne, marriage..

..is like toilet.

The one inside is dying to come out..

..and the one outside is dying to get in!

Turn the lights on.

But how come?

How come you agreed?

I didn't get enough time.

I was sitting aside and I was married off.

Where did they go?

Suzanne,..

...this is what happens to women.

We are expected to..

..get married quietly.

I'll tell you a joke.

When I first saw you,..

...I thought you..

...and..

...Patil are..

I just thought so.

Sister-in-law.

How could you think like that?

This is so..

This is so...

- This is so... - You're right..

This is so..

Yeah.

I just thought so.

Don't take me wrong.

Hey..

How come?

Hey, stop. Don't run away.

- Hey.. - Sir.

Stop I say.

Stop.

I will take off your loin cloth now.

Hey.. hey..

Keep the engine on.

Hey.. hey..

Hey..

Come on. Drive.

I was sure,..

..you'd come back for money.

But how come?

Your husband is Punjabi.

How does he speak Marathi fluently?

Hey!

- What could've happened? - Husband..

Sister-in-law.

Sister-in-law.

Sister-in-law.

Sir, it's time for your obituary.

God.

Where are you?

Hey..

Where were you?

- Where were you? - Here?

She's asking me questions left, right and centre.

How many answers do I give alone?

Am I supposed to answer all alone?

Both you men..

You're fine but...

...this fellow is the biggest coward.

Who got married?

You did, right?

Then who will take the responsibility?

Who will take the responsibility?

My God. It's difficult.

Baby, I...

We're guests here.

They invited us. Sister-in-law..

Sit.

Sit.

Okay.

Should you behave like this?

You blabber despite the circumstances.

- Such tantrums! - Sorry, madam.

She's high.

She's affected by drinks.

We are all affected.

I just asked...

You're Punjabi, right?

Then how come you speak Marathi fluently?

- I'll be back. - Hey!

Nobody leaves now.

Look!

She even screams in Marathi.

How come?

I'm a Punjabi from Konkan.

Punjabi in Konkan?

How come?

My father was a truck driver.

Once he travelled from Chandigarh..

...to Devgarh.

Then he fell in love with mom and Alphonso mangoes..

...that he sired me.

Then he never left Konkan.

He settled there.

But..

What brings you here then?

It's a project of apples.

How can apples be harvested..

..in Konkan?

He's here to study that.

Are you mad?

Apples in Konkan?

How did he get elected?

Tell me.

How will it grow in Konkan?

Tell me how you will grow it.

How apples will grow in Konkan?

Am I to answer that as well?

C'mon, Paramjeet.

You're the brains behind the project.

I'm just financing it.

If apples can't be grown,..

- ...I'll take away the finance. - No!

I'll tell you how apples can be grown in Konkan.

Madam,...

..the world has advanced.

Did Mumbai have penguins in its zoo earlier?

No but now it does.

Even so, there is a reason for it.

Earlier there were no seedless mangoes. Now there are...

..but they lack the sourness..

...of mangoes with seeds.

Soyabean is grown on cotton fields.

But it lacks the softness of cotton.

There was no artificial rain earlier..

...now we do but it lacks the scent of the mud.

It lacks the fragrance.

Earlier humanity existed in villages...

...now there are neither villages nor humans..

..nor humanity.

Vineyards now grow flavoured grapes..

...but they lack the taste of original grapes.

Eucalyptus originated in Australia..

...but we adopted it her, right?

Strawberry originated in France..

...but we grow them..

..in Mahabaleshwar, right?

In Peru..

..Guavas aren't grown..

..because they grow tomatoes.

The world is changing, madam.

The world is changing.

But how is all this...

...related to growing apples?

Yes, tell me.

Oh God.

Amar,..

..seeds are yours.

The box is with you.

Moreover your land is illegally occupied.

If at all..

...a row arises about the ownership,..

...facts come to the surface,..

..and you throw the box away,..

...the seeds will get strewn around...

...and plants will grow all over.

You feel,..

...that won't happen but I can do it.

So madam,..

..how apples..

..can be grown in Konkan..

...had to be discussed in the meeting.

Hence, I came to meet Amar.

And one more important thing.

Amar loves my wife's voice.

- What? - I mean,..

...he loves her singing.

Very much.

When did you hear her sing?

- On the pen drive. - Madam,..

..Amar has a personal pen drive.

It has a lot of capacity.

Whose and how many songs..

..it contains is not known to you, madam.

It's shocking.

Madam, my baby, my wife..

...sings really well.

Beautiful. You'll be enthralled.

Hey!

Sing.

Sing.

Very special.

You sing really well.

- Awesome. Loved it. - Thank you.

Thank you.

Listen to me...

Instead of producing her album..

...produce his album.

Just saying. But she's good too.

No, Madam. She sings beautifully.

- Suzanne. - I do, right?

Yet my husband doesn't value it.

- Well! - Hey!

He just said..

...you sing beautifully.

Not him..

- Then? - I mean he but..

- He doesn't express it. - Suzanne,..

..you're high.

Forgive her, madam, after drinking,..

..she blabbers away.

Okay, madam, it's late. Good night.

- Sweet dreams. - Good night.

- Careful. - Yes.

What? What?

I'm going home.

Meaning?

What will I do here?

If Amar's wife asks me..

..for my husband, what will I say?

Anjali,..

Huh..

Please turn around so I can change.

You had been to the bathroom, right?

What if you lock me inside?

Okay, you change here. I'll go..

Wait a minute.

What if you lock me inside?

That's what I'm saying.

Oh my God!

See you, madam.

Don't give up singing.

Pu La said..

..one must nurture at least one talent.

It lasts for a lifetime.

I've nurtured my art from a long time.

This fool didn't get it.

- Talent means writing, instrument.. - I know that.

I'm not that cheap.

That's not what I meant.

I seduced you..

...to make you stay back.

I can't.

It's late.

My wife and kids are waiting for me.

They must be worried.

Okay, we might never meet again,..

..take care of yourself. You're really nice.

Wait a minute.

- Money? - Forget the money.

- I'll assume I never got it. - Wait.

No, madam. It's your money..

Thank you for everything.

Don't stop practicing.

Where were you?

You?

He's the same guy.

Stop, rascal! I'll kill you.

You bugger, man!

Where are you fleeing? Stop.

Idiot.

- Leave him. - I caught him.

What's this? Wait a minute.

He is fleeing.

Oh no.

Where are you going?

Don't beat him.

- Don't beat him. - Stop.

Will you..

You..

I will not spare you.

Don't beat him.

Idiot.

Oh man!

Told you..

- ..not to beat him. - Why me....

Beat him..

- You.. Wait. - Have you lost it?

I told you not to beat him.

Shut up.

First tell me,..

...who else have you called here?

Don't talk rubbish. Are you mad?

He's our guest.

Paramjeet Ahluwalia.

Apologise.

Hey, sorry.

What's going on, madam?

Is this a house or a lodge?

Is this how you behave..

..with your guests?

Is this how you behave with the host's wife?

That too on the kitchen platform.

What's going on, madam? Who's he?

He's my guest.

I beg you.. I plea to you.

Why do that now?

Lord!

- Dear lord... - Paramjeet..

..don't tell Mr Patil.

Please.

Enough of this now.

You..

- Shut up. - Just a minute.

Look, I apologised earlier.

Don't bug me further.

I'm a policeman. Tell on us and I'll shoot you.

I'll say you were a thief..

...and got killed in an encounter.

Understood?

I'm a thief!

Thief?

- Move! - Hey.. he escaped.

Stop.

- Paramjeet.. - Hello.

Anjali!

You...

Anjali!

Sir.

- Stop. - Sorry...

Quiet.

Quiet.

Quiet.

Sir.

Quiet I say.

Let me go.

No screaming.

Amar!

Why are you here? Your wife...

I don't know where she is.

Where is he?

- He left. - Paramjeet!

Paramjeet who?

I am Paramjeet.

Paramjeet Ahluwalia.

Done!

He left without the money?

- I gave him some of mine. - Why?

What?

- Why? - He did so much for us, Amar.

What did he do?

Here.

I can't wait to leave.

All this unwanted mess...

Indeed..

I've invited this trouble.

Sir!

This man...

Here.

This police..

Stop.

Sir!

Madam..

You like him?

- You like him? - Yes.

- What's his name? - Abhinandan.

Congratulate me later.

- But what's his name? - Abhinandan.

- His? - Meaning?

Come..

If you yell,..

..I'll skin you alive.

You're clutching me very tight.

Yes.

What?

Come here.

Sit quietly in a corner.

Okay.

Oh no.

Where did he go?

Sir.

What's it?

Come this way.

Shut the door.

Sleep.

What's this?

Is it any magic?

What's this?

Magic.

This house if full of goodies.

And this.

That's empty. Empty..

Now that I got so much,..

..I must help you.

Look who's here.

Tell him, Paramjeet.

Paramjeet, tell him.

What do I say?

What are you doing?

He's Paramjeet's nephew.

Right, Paramjeet?

- Yes. - Paramjeet's nephew?

Yes. He's my nephew.

He's indeed my nephew.

Asha sent him.

Asha?

Right, nephew?

Yes, uncle.

Why did you come this late?

Tell me.

Sorry, uncle.

Mom asked me to fetch you.

Your nephew is a policeman?

A policeman is your nephew?

Your nephew is a policeman?

A policeman is your nephew?

Wait a minute.

What's the problem?

Is my uncle a thief?

A dacoit?

- He.. - Should I tell?

Should I tell?

Should I tell?

Sir, if you talk, I will too. Should I?

Should I?

He's my nephew.

Asha gave him..

..the address and sent him here.

What did your mom say?

She asked to fetch you.

Uncle?

Who has he actually married?

Aunt.

Aunt?

Sir, should I tell?

Should I?

No..

Suzanne is his wife.

Asha is his sister-in-law.

Suzanne isn't my wife..

She is.

...and Asha isn't my sister-in-law?

She is.

Not your uncle?

C'mon, uncle. Of course you are.

You!

You..

What are you doing here?

I should be asking you...

..what are you doing here?

Don't answer with a question.

- Answer me. - Superb!

I should keep answering you!

I knew it.

I knew you'd follow me being a policeman!

Why would I come as a policeman?

I mean I am a policeman but why would I follow you?

Really?

- Who did you come here for? - I..

Oh c'mon!

Why this rubbish questioning?

Get lost!

You are rubbish.

Don't touch me.

Don't you touch me!

I'll shoot you.

You're aiming a gun at me?

You'll shoot me? Wait!

You think I'll just stand and stare?

What will you do? Don't boast.

What will you do?

What will I do? I'll show you.

- This is loaded. You have no idea. - Param.

We are talking. Don't interfere.

You pointed a gun at me. Now shoot.

- You shoot. - You go first.

You bicker all day.

You crib all the time.

All the time cribbing.

Wait a minute!

- Wait a minute! - Fine, wait a minute!

Why point guns at each other when you don't know each other?

Why fight? What's the problem?

- She's the problem, my wife Shraddha! - Wife?!

And he's my heartless husband Abhinandan!

- Heartless? - Yes!

''Everything's crazy..'''

Ahluwalia!

- Paramjeet. - Ahluwalia..

- Paramjeet. - Ahluwalia..

- Paramjeet. - Ahluwalia..

- Wait a minute, Paramjeet. - Ahluwalia.

These two are married.

And Abhinandan..

Not Abhinandan.. Abhinandan..

She's his wife.

I said so.

How come? She's your wife too, right?

Uncle?

You married my wife?

Abhinandan,..

..I married your wife.

Madam,..

..my wife Suzanne..

Her second husband is after you..

I mean, he's standing behind you.

Bear that in mind.

Abhinandan.

Suzanne,..

...you married twice?

Tell her, Paramjeet.

Full and final.

Madam, the problem is..

...Suzanne married me..

..then we started facing problems.

So she..

...married Abhinandan...

..then they, too..

..faced problems.

But she found our problems minimal compared to theirs.

Yes.

So, she came back to me.

That's what the problem is.

Where was she today?

With you or with him?

Hey...

- With me. - In Delhi.

Malvani.

Paramjeet, please..

Full and final..

Madam, there was one more problem.

What happened? Yes..

Suzanne was with Abhinandan in Malvani..

...then she came to me in Delhi.

She came and I asked why she came.

I said this is an issue and let's go back to Mumbai.

So, we landed at 8 pm..

..in Mumbai.

So you came from Delhi immediately?

Here?

Then why didn't you go to Delhi?

I got acidity.

He called me.

He said he'd come over.

But I don't understand as to why you're here.

Who called you?

Uncle.

- How did she come here? - With him.

You... I called you both here..

I gathered you all here?

Then..

You got acidity so I came from Delhi...

...on a private jet to meet you?

I called you..

You're my nephew? I called you to meet me?

You married me and came to this house?

Alone on this farmhouse...

..to sing? Aren't you ashamed?

Did I marry twice?

I have two affairs?

Madam? Abhinandan?

Amar? Shraddha? They are the culprits.

You.. I created this mess?

I gathered you all?

I'll set you right.

Ahluwalia..

- Uncle. - Paramjeet!

- Paramjeet. - Ahluwalia..

Here's your money.

Take it.

Your money.

Your money.

Return the bundle you took.

Return it.

Fine.

Now I'll tell the truth.

Sir.

- What? - There's a woman outside.

- Who? - Her name is Asha.

Stop, both of you. Don't go inside.

Popi, Mumo...

Popi, Mumo... - Dad.

Oh dear!

Hey.

Hey.

What's this...

It's nothing.

Calm down.

Calm.

Come on.

This is my wife..

..Asha.

Hello.

These are my daughters.

Popi and Mumo.

- Hi. - Hi.

Hi.

What?

What happened?

Why so late?

Nothing much..

...the temptation was too strong.

For me as well as them.

Hello, Mr Patil.

Hello.

Hello, Anjali.

Hello.

That's me.

Dad. Shall we go to the swimming pool.

Yes.

- Popi, Mumo... - Hey.

Hello. Mumo..

What's this?

Popi, Mumo, be careful.

Be careful. You might slip.

Hey.

- You brought Leo along? - Yes..

How can we leave him alone at home?

Leo..

Kadam...

- Leo! Keep an eye. - Sir!

I stole him.

Stole?

I told you..

...my husband is a thief.

You..

..told me over the phone.

You..

So?

Meaning...

What you're assuming is right.

You..

Will you please sit with your partners?

Yes.

Please....

Please sit with your partners.

See you.

Let's leave.

Let's go.

Wait.

From me.

No, it's all right.

Let it be. Get the girls something.

Huh?

Sir..

...I left 87 bucks in your safe.

Let it be but...

..this gramophone plays nice music.

Really.

Bonus.

Wait a minute.

And Leo, that dog...

Take good care of it.

Yes.

I was on duty looking for that dog for 8 months.

Yes.

Thank you.

Take care.

Popi, Mumo! Take this. Keep it inside.

Take this.

Directly today after college, right?

How are you?

See for yourself.

You decide.

You look old.

Your husband is a thief?

I...

I'm here.

Let me know if you need anything.

I'll handle things.

- See you. - Wait.

I've sent you a request on Facebook...

..45 days ago.

Please accept it.