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1
00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:23,651
Mom, we're starving.
2
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,053
Why tell me?
3
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:29,523
Do I look like Sally Struthers?
4
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:31,926
Besides, with the Super Bowl...
5
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,395
...Your father has taken away
our food allowance...
6
00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:38,032
...So he can buy his own snacks
for the game.
7
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:41,135
You think he'd mind
if we just took a little?
8
00:01:57,318 --> 00:02:00,087
Are you feeling lucky, punks?
9
00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:02,723
Buck is cute though.
10
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:07,027
Let's get together as a family, kill him,
and retake the fridge.
11
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:09,930
Mom, are we really doomed
again to watch Dad...
12
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:12,933
...Sit in his Polk High uniform
with a football in one hand...
13
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:15,035
...And himself in the other?
14
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:17,738
Kids, please.
15
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:21,408
You think I like seeing him happy
one day a year?
16
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:23,677
Well, what can I do?
17
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,447
I am banned from the house
during the Super Bowl...
18
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:29,116
...And I can't even call
during the Bud Bowl.
19
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:33,354
Have you thought about taking
the time to learn the game...
20
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:34,955
...So you could watch together?
21
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,892
You mean so we could enjoy something
as a couple?
22
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:41,629
No. So you could ruin any enjoyment
he could possibly have...
23
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,163
...During the game.
24
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:46,500
So he would leave the house and
we could get our hands on his Cheetos.
25
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,469
And we could watch
whatever we want.
26
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,671
- Well, how about the Super Bowl?
- Sure.
27
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:53,007
Oh, that's a great idea.
28
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,376
Bud, teach me about football.
29
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:58,846
Okay, well, first we can
go over some calls.
30
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:01,682
Okay, this is holding.
31
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:04,318
This is a reception.
32
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:09,857
And this is two weeks
after dating Kelly.
33
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:21,101
Here's one you might recognize,
Mom:
34
00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:26,874
Bud on a Saturday night.
35
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,478
- Why, you...
- Come on. Come and get it.
36
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:34,281
Kids! Kids, kids, kids.
37
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:38,319
Morticia, Wednesday, Pugsley.
38
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:45,225
Kids, your daddy's home.
39
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,061
Hi, Dad.
40
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,931
- Al, guess what.
- Not now, Peg.
41
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,734
I have a big announcement.
I need your complete attention.
42
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,909
Today I got the latest issue
of Shoe News.
43
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,744
You know their motto:
44
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,914
"Before it's on your foot,
it's in your head."
45
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:09,083
And I have it on good authority...
46
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:13,520
...That they're coming out with a new,
all-sport athletic shoe.
47
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,256
Oh, Al.
48
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,660
Kids, let us join hands...
49
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:23,764
...And remember where we were
on this mighty day.
50
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,666
Tell us more, Al.
51
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,702
Will they come in pairs, honey?
52
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:33,107
There's more, my little aneurysm.
53
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,776
It's going to be called the Zeus.
54
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,546
And they're kicking off their new ad
campaign with a special commercial...
55
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,516
...That will be shown
during the Super Bowl.
56
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:45,986
And here's the part
that means something to us:
57
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,889
They're going to use ex-jocks
in this commercial.
58
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,595
You don't get it, do you?
59
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:59,299
Well, you should know that better
than anyone, sweetheart.
60
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:05,172
Don't you see? Ex-jocks.
61
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:08,108
Who's the most famous ex-athlete
in Chicago?
62
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,978
- Ernie Banks.
- I said, athlete.
63
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,546
You know that means football.
64
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,985
- Gayle Sayers?
- Can you be this thick?
65
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,620
Let me give you a hint.
66
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,626
The FTD florist?
67
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:28,595
No, you nitwit, me.
68
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,197
Polk High, all-city.
69
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:33,200
Most touchdowns in a single game.
If you don't listen to me...
70
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:36,036
...You've heard others talk about it
in malls...
71
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:39,239
...Anywhere Americans gather
to talk sports.
72
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:42,543
I'm a shoo-in for that commercial.
73
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:47,047
Get it, shoo-in?
74
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,585
Well, Shoe News will appreciate it.
75
00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:54,455
Anyway, I'm just gonna go audition
for that commercial...
76
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:57,357
...And in a few short weeks
you'll see your old Dad on TV...
77
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,093
...During the Super Bowl.
78
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,928
Now what have you got to say?
79
00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:05,466
Honey, did you pick up those
little blue disks for the toilet tank?
80
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,035
Yes.
81
00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,204
- I'm putting it in.
- No me.
82
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,172
- I'm putting it in!
- Me!
83
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:20,114
Is not my news at least as exciting
as a blue disk for a toilet?
84
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,716
Well, honey,
I'm sure I'd be just as excited...
85
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:27,287
...If I was married to the blue disk
and it brought you home for the toilet.
86
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,225
I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking...
87
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,027
- ...I'm not gonna get this commercial.
- Not at all.
88
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:37,931
I'm thinking you are a fool to even
think you're getting this commercial.
89
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,534
Honey, you played
high school football.
90
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:43,103
That doesn't mean anything
to anyone anymore...
91
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:46,340
...Including me. And I'm your wife.
92
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:49,810
I took a vow to care and I don't.
93
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:56,850
You're just jealous because the ad said
"ex-jocks," not "ex-brunettes."
94
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:02,022
You're not getting it, Al.
They want someone famous.
95
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,124
I'm famous!
96
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,393
- Hi, guys.
- Hi.
97
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:17,171
Who is the man who scored
four touchdowns in a single game...
98
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:20,474
...To clinch the city championship
in 1966?
99
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:23,877
- Shaft. John Shaft.
- No.
100
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:27,548
Who is the man who rushed
for 200 yards against Garfield High?
101
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:31,084
- Shaft. He's a bad--
- Shut your mouth.
102
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,121
Just talking about Shaft.
103
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:37,891
You people obviously
don't know anything about football.
104
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,426
What do you care about?
105
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:45,265
Peggy, have you seen these
fantastic blue disks for the toilet?
106
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,735
Why, this is the best thing
that could have happened to Al.
107
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:52,172
Next to the invention of a bowl
six feet wide with tall rims...
108
00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:54,775
...For the problem aimer.
109
00:07:56,476 --> 00:08:01,648
But now, unlike your career,
you have something to shoot for.
110
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,918
You people can't be serious.
111
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:07,754
I want you to admit
having played high school football...
112
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:10,490
...Is probably the most important thing
a guy could do.
113
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:15,295
Yes, if a person died
right after high school.
114
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:16,697
But don't worry, Al...
115
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:19,766
...It's probably not too late
for you to do something important.
116
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:24,371
Why some day, you may even stop
a bullet meant for the president.
117
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:31,144
Oh, I'm sorry, Marcie.
I must be boring you.
118
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:35,949
Anyone who obviously spends as much
time in barber shops as you do...
119
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:40,888
...Must have heard every sports story
a guy could hear.
120
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,191
You better cut that out, Al.
121
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:48,996
I think Marcie looks as cute as a button
with her hair cut this way.
122
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:51,131
Thank you, honey.
123
00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:04,378
Al, just to close up this subject:
124
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,781
It's not that we are belittling
your place in sports history.
125
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:12,719
It's just that you are like a toilet
without a blue disk.
126
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:18,725
Fine for its time,
but now barely worth flushing.
127
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:21,595
Now give me a kiss
and make me some coffee.
128
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,297
I will not.
129
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:27,634
I'm going to audition for
this commercial, and get it, by God.
130
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,237
Then we'll see,
when I go down for this interview...
131
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:34,608
...Who in Chicago
doesn't know the name Bundy.
132
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:38,211
- Who?
- Bundy.
133
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:41,381
B-U-N-D-Y. Al Bundy.
134
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,318
Made all-city back in '66.
Four touchdowns.
135
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:48,422
And I'm not talking the whole year.
One game.
136
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:53,694
Well, have a seat,
and allow me time to cool off.
137
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:05,706
Miss Lagroin,
who's on our list for today?
138
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:12,112
Well, there's Mr. Butkus, Mr. Carlton,
Mr. Tarkenton, Mr. Namath...
139
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,848
...And of course, Mr. Bindy.
140
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:19,152
He scored four touchdowns,
not in one year, but in one game.
141
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,488
- Guess where?
- High school.
142
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:23,890
Thought I'd die when I met him.
143
00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:26,326
Well, send him in
before the real athletes come.
144
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:40,140
Okay, Mom, now who's the guy
who hikes the ball to the quarterback?
145
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,275
- The center.
- Very good.
146
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:45,112
Now who's the guy
who rushes the passer?
147
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,647
- The defensive end.
- Excellent.
148
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:50,751
Now who's the little foreign guy
who can barely speak English...
149
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:55,889
...Never gets hit and is taking yet
another job away from an American?
150
00:10:56,723 --> 00:11:00,794
- The place-kicker.
- Great job, Mom.
151
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:07,067
Now next, next we'll start on stats.
152
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,903
Oh, can I teach her
the stats, please?
153
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,705
- Sure.
- Okay.
154
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,774
Now, we have Alaska...
155
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:19,112
...Alabama, Brazil...
156
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:24,317
Oh, and the two Georgias,
North and South.
157
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:33,326
And yet, men still seem to like her.
158
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,029
Oh, there's your daddy's car.
159
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,532
Now, he's gonna come in here
and tell us he failed.
160
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,501
So let's practice
what we're gonna say to him.
161
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:47,007
The classics never die.
162
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:54,114
Laugh at this, hyenas: I got it.
163
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,817
I got the commercial.
164
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:08,628
I am the Zeus man.
165
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:26,346
So I think it's important to understand,
before we get started...
166
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,348
...That, yes,
the shoes are important...
167
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:32,352
...But let's not disappoint the public in
what they've come to expect from me.
168
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:35,455
So let's try not to get too arty
and lose sight of the man.
169
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:37,691
Oh, by the way,
be careful how you shoot me...
170
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:42,863
...Because from certain angles it would
appear I'm losing a hair or two...
171
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:44,664
...You know what I mean?
172
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:48,335
Sure. Why tell me? I'm the caterer.
173
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,873
Put some food in my car
and go away.
174
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:56,676
Hi, I'm Jerry Copeland the director.
175
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:59,312
Try not to speak directly to me.
176
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:05,285
Now, you will be
portraying the common man.
177
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:08,588
Well, that will be
a bit of a stretch for me, Jerr.
178
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,690
I played high school football,
you know?
179
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,626
- You're speaking to me.
- Sorry.
180
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:16,897
Well, anyhow, I'm sure you would want
to meet your co-star in the first scene?
181
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,966
Not really,
but I guess he'd like to meet me.
182
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:25,071
Bindy, meet Ed "Too Tall" Jones.
183
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,848
Too Tall?
You gotta be kidding me.
184
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:38,051
Are you in the scene with me?
Peg! Peg! Look who's--
185
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:45,692
Need someone to run your lines
with you, baby?
186
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:50,297
Will someone please wheel
the elderly woman away.
187
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,200
Okay.
188
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:57,103
We're ready.
Well, you know what to do.
189
00:13:57,270 --> 00:14:00,440
No I don't, Jerr.
No, see, I never got a script.
190
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,644
Well, just follow your instincts,
Bindy.
191
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,848
That must be what they tell Brando.
192
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,351
Not that I'm comparing myself
with Brando.
193
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,120
He's fat.
194
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:19,893
Oh, by the way, Too Tall,
my name is Al "Too Great" Bindy.
195
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:23,163
You-- I'm sure you heard of me.
Made all-city back in '66.
196
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:27,434
And you're the guy that was
raiding the refrigerator in my trailer.
197
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,236
Twice.
198
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:33,940
What I'm trying to say is, don't feel bad
about having to pull back.
199
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,375
Just don't hurt yourself.
200
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:37,877
Thanks a lot
for making me feel welcome.
201
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,546
Ready.
202
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:43,783
- And, deck him!
- "Deck" who?
203
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,159
Yes, Mom, personal foul.
204
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,096
Whoa, Too Tall, babe. Great rehearsal.
205
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,565
Now, let's just shoot the next one.
Do you mind?
206
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:01,568
Not at all.
I think you could see me pull back.
207
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:05,739
Okay, dust off the shoes
and get the old guy back on his feet.
208
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:10,910
- Maybe we should do something.
- Yeah.
209
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,248
Hey, Too Tall,
can I get your autograph?
210
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,285
Hey, how did you get
the name "Too Tall"?
211
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:22,489
Does it really refer to your height?
212
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:24,357
No.
213
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,667
Okay, for this one,
all you have to do is bat.
214
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,636
Well, that's no problem.
I play a little softball.
215
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:38,238
Only three-time MVP...
216
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,140
...The 20-store-and-under mall league
ever had.
217
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,042
One time we were playing
Binky's Pets--
218
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:46,646
Great. Now, say hi to your co-star,
Steve Carlton.
219
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:57,657
Put her right here, baby.
220
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,064
It's awful nice to meet you,
Mr. Carlton.
221
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,833
You probably haven't thrown
a baseball in a long time...
222
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,202
...Whereas I'm an active player,
so, you know...
223
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:13,073
...Don't worry about looking bad
because the camera will be on me.
224
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,775
I'm sure your heart is as big
as the ball you use.
225
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,712
Okay. Places, everyone.
226
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:21,314
Okay, Steve. Now, it's no big deal.
227
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:24,851
- Just bean him.
- No problem.
228
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:26,953
"Bean" who?
229
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:36,696
Yes, Mom, "intentional grounding."
230
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:45,205
Hey, there's an eyebrow on it.
231
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:50,643
Daddy, look, I got the ball.
232
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:55,081
No, Daddy,
they're still looking for your ear...
233
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:58,418
...But I'm gonna have him sign it
right underneath your eyebrow.
234
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,987
How would you like it to read?
235
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:03,723
Okay, great.
236
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:10,663
Mr. Carlton, could you please sign this
to "the late Al Bundy"?
237
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:12,432
Oh, yeah.
238
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:23,076
Okay, time to take his bandage off.
239
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:30,750
Al, honey, I've been thinking about this
and I think we better go home.
240
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:32,352
I'm worried you might get hurt.
241
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,287
Don't worry about me, Peg. I'm fine.
242
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,823
Hey, will somebody answer
that phone?
243
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:41,261
I'll get it myself. Hello?
244
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,363
Another damn wrong number.
245
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,265
Besides, Peg, this should be fun.
246
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:48,735
It's always been an amateur's dream
to see how far he can go with a pro.
247
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:51,337
I used to do a little boxing.
And what I wanna do...
248
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,907
...Is get in one good shot
and get a bit of respect.
249
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,208
What I'm gonna do, Peg...
250
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:59,179
...I'm not gonna wait for the director
to say "action." I'm gonna cheat.
251
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:14,694
And when the guy gets in the ring,
I'm gonna pop him with one.
252
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,296
A good right hand, right away.
253
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:19,999
And I don't care, pro or no pro,
that's gotta hurt, Peg.
254
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:23,069
- Hey, you're--
- Action!
255
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:33,179
Wow, he didn't even have time
to spit out a whimpering " no más ."
256
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,883
Sugar Ray, very nice.
257
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:38,718
That was fun.
258
00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:40,854
You know,
it's every professional's dream...
259
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,723
...To see how bad he can hurt
a non-pro.
260
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,328
Help me.
261
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,831
Well, it looks like he's been hurt.
We better make sure he's okay.
262
00:18:57,504 --> 00:19:01,007
Hey, did you hurt your hand
on my dad's jaw?
263
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,942
Hey, I'm curious about your name.
264
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:05,545
How did you get the name Leonard?
265
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:11,351
Sugar Ray, I blinked
and I missed the whole thing.
266
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:14,521
- Could you hit him again?
- Sure, yeah.
267
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:17,056
Al, get up.
268
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:31,170
What thinking man would call
a down-and-out pattern...
269
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:34,574
...7 yards downfield
when you need eight for a first down?
270
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:36,476
Idiots.
271
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:40,613
- What's happening, Peg?
- Shut up, Al, I'm watching the game.
272
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:44,083
So, what were those athletes
really like?
273
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,519
Oh, well,
they couldn't have been nicer.
274
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:50,290
At the party after the shoot we talked
and we danced and--
275
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,724
It would have been great...
276
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:54,694
...Except that Al kept calling
from the hospital.
277
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:58,731
Why I let him put me down as who
to notify in case of emergency...
278
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,466
...I'll never know.
279
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,002
It's like they know
when you're having a good time.
280
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:07,874
It's halftime. All right, Al's commercial
should be on any second.
281
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:11,277
At last, America will finally see me
in all my athletic glory.
282
00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:13,846
{\an8}Zeus.
283
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,417
{\an8}The all-sport shoe
for the weekend warrior.
284
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:19,819
You may not play like a pro.
285
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,194
You may not hit like a pro.
286
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:36,402
You may not fight like a pro.
287
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:44,978
But with Zeus, you won't have to.
288
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:52,018
Zeus, the shoes that will outlive you.
289
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,362
Hey, what happened to my face?
290
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:05,531
You inherited it from your father.
291
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,802
They can't do that to me.
I'm the Zeus man, damn it!
292
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:12,005
Oh, well,
I guess it really doesn't matter.
293
00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:14,340
As long as my family saw me.
They were there.
294
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:17,110
They saw me with those pros,
and I took their best shots.
295
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,679
Who wants to be the first to
put a pen in my mouth...
296
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:21,481
...And get an autograph?
297
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,985
Good news, folks,
our toilet disks finally come in green.
298
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:30,156
It's like having a pine tree
in your toilet.
299
00:21:39,699 --> 00:21:42,268
Well, at least I'll get to watch the game
in peace.
300
00:21:46,572 --> 00:21:49,108
And now uninterrupted
by commercials...
301
00:21:49,275 --> 00:21:53,346
...We proudly present: Steel Magnolias.
302
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:57,617
Oh, no, not Steel Magnolias.
303
00:21:57,784 --> 00:22:01,387
Buck. Buck, change the Super Bowl
back on. I can't move.
304
00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:03,423
You accidentally
changed the channel.
305
00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:06,759
Accident, my ass.
306
00:22:08,094 --> 00:22:09,762
I love this movie.
307
00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:15,168
Julia Roberts, so ill, so brave.
24788
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