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-Next on
"Great Performances"...
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00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:08,400
-♪ It's been four weeks
since the treatment,
3
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,533
and my mind is still a mess ♪
4
00:00:10,533 --> 00:00:12,700
♪ And what's left to be
remembered
5
00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:15,000
well, it's anybody's guess ♪
6
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,866
-Join us for
an intimate portrait of
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00:00:16,866 --> 00:00:19,333
one family's struggle
with a tragic loss
8
00:00:19,333 --> 00:00:21,933
and a mother's battle with
bipolar disorder.
9
00:00:21,933 --> 00:00:23,266
-♪ Catch me, I'm falling ♪
10
00:00:23,266 --> 00:00:25,200
-Unresolved loss
can lead to depression.
11
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:26,666
-♪ Catch me, I'm falling ♪
12
00:00:26,666 --> 00:00:28,166
-Fear of loss to anxiety.
13
00:00:28,166 --> 00:00:30,700
-A father strives to hold
everything together.
14
00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:33,433
-♪ Take this chance ♪
15
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:36,133
♪ 'Cause it may be your last ♪
16
00:00:36,133 --> 00:00:37,366
♪ To be free ♪
17
00:00:37,366 --> 00:00:40,000
-A neglected daughter
tries to find her way.
18
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,333
-♪ Take a look at
the invisible girl ♪
19
00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:46,266
♪ Here she is clear as the day ♪
20
00:00:46,266 --> 00:00:49,800
-And together,
they look for a brighter future.
21
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,700
Stay tuned for the
Tony Award-
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00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:54,666
and Pulitzer Prize-winning
musical "Next to Normal."
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00:00:54,666 --> 00:00:58,466
-♪ Light ♪
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00:01:00,166 --> 00:01:02,333
♪♪
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00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:04,466
Major funding
for "Great Performances"
26
00:01:04,466 --> 00:01:05,633
is provided by...
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00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,800
...and by contributions
to your PBS station
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00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,233
from viewers like you.
Thank you.
29
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,433
This program contains content
that is not suitable
30
00:01:18,433 --> 00:01:21,100
for all audiences, including
descriptions of self-harm.
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Viewer discretion is advised.
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♪♪
33
00:01:29,966 --> 00:01:35,533
♪♪
34
00:01:35,533 --> 00:01:41,066
♪♪
35
00:01:41,066 --> 00:01:46,600
♪♪
36
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:51,300
-[ Sighs ]
37
00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:52,600
-What are you doing up?
38
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,400
-[ Scoffs ]
39
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,000
-It's 3:30.
40
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,766
♪ It's the seventh night this
week I've sat till morning ♪
41
00:01:58,766 --> 00:02:01,533
-Oh! Great!
Here we go.
42
00:02:01,533 --> 00:02:04,800
-♪ Imagining the ways
you might have died ♪
43
00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:06,833
-Yep!
And tonight's winner is?
44
00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:10,533
-♪ In a freak September
ice-storm with no warning ♪
45
00:02:10,533 --> 00:02:12,100
-'Cause that happens.
46
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:15,600
♪ There's a gang war, there's a
bird flu, trains collide ♪
47
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,033
-What did we say
about watching the news?
48
00:02:17,033 --> 00:02:19,600
♪ Now you act all sweet
and surly ♪
49
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:24,833
♪ But you swore you'd come
home early, and you lied ♪
50
00:02:28,866 --> 00:02:31,800
-You gotta let go, Mom.
I'm almost 18.
51
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,133
-Are you snorting coke?
52
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:36,100
-Not at the moment.
-Who's up at this hour?
53
00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:38,433
-Father. Go. Up the back way.
-Why does he hate me?
54
00:02:38,433 --> 00:02:41,366
-Because you're a total loser.
-You can't call me a loser.
55
00:02:41,366 --> 00:02:43,000
-Is everything okay?
I heard voices.
56
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,833
-Just me, talking to myself,
you know.
57
00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:46,233
Now you head on upstairs.
58
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:47,966
I'll be up for sex
in a minute.
59
00:02:47,966 --> 00:02:50,400
-You'll...
Are you sure everything's okay?
60
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,133
-Uh-huh. Go.
61
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:59,900
♪ They're the perfect
loving family, so adoring ♪
62
00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:04,166
♪ And I love them
every day of every week ♪
63
00:03:04,166 --> 00:03:08,066
♪ So my son's a little brat,
my husband's boring ♪
64
00:03:08,066 --> 00:03:11,966
♪ And my daughter,
though a genius, is a freak ♪
65
00:03:11,966 --> 00:03:14,700
♪ Still, I help
them love each other ♪
66
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:19,600
♪ Father, mother, sister,
brother, cheek-to-cheek ♪
67
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,333
Natalie.
It's 4:00 in the morning.
68
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:23,066
-Is everything okay?
-Everything's great.
69
00:03:23,066 --> 00:03:24,833
Why wouldn't it be great?
It's great.
70
00:03:24,833 --> 00:03:26,300
I've just got three more
chapters of calculus,
71
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:27,833
a physics problem set,
a history quiz,
72
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,433
and two more pages on floral
imagery in
73
00:03:29,433 --> 00:03:31,633
"Flowers for Algernon,"
which is just duh.
74
00:03:31,633 --> 00:03:34,266
Everything's so under control.
It's just calm.
75
00:03:34,266 --> 00:03:36,700
-Okay, honey,
you need to slow down
76
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,566
and take some time for yourself.
77
00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:41,200
I'm going to have sex
with your father.
78
00:03:42,266 --> 00:03:45,333
-Great. Thanks.
79
00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:47,866
So glad I know that!
80
00:03:47,866 --> 00:03:52,233
♪ So, it's times like these
I wonder how I take it ♪
81
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:56,300
♪ And if other families live
the way we do ♪
82
00:03:56,300 --> 00:04:00,833
♪ If they love each other
or if they just fake it ♪
83
00:04:00,833 --> 00:04:04,566
♪ And if other daughters
feel like I feel, too ♪
84
00:04:04,566 --> 00:04:07,666
♪ 'Cause some days,
I think I'm dying ♪
85
00:04:07,666 --> 00:04:11,966
♪ But I'm really only trying
to get through ♪
86
00:04:11,966 --> 00:04:15,233
-♪ For just another day ♪
87
00:04:15,233 --> 00:04:18,633
♪ For another stolen hour ♪
88
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:23,200
♪ When the world will feel
my power and obey ♪
89
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,366
-♪ It's just another day ♪
90
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:29,366
-♪ Feeling like
I'll live forever ♪
91
00:04:29,366 --> 00:04:34,133
-♪ Feeling like this feeling
never goes away ♪
92
00:04:34,133 --> 00:04:37,300
-♪ For just another day ♪
93
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:38,800
-That was great, wasn't it?
94
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,466
That was great.
Geez, I'm late.
95
00:04:41,466 --> 00:04:43,666
-Mm! That'll teach you
to take a whole 10 minutes.
96
00:04:43,666 --> 00:04:44,933
-I'm sorry, what?
97
00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:47,200
-I said,
isn't it a beautiful day?
98
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,900
-Oh, yeah, sure.
99
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:51,100
It's cloudy and raining
and really cold for September,
100
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:52,666
but beautiful.
101
00:04:52,666 --> 00:04:54,500
-Makes you want to dive in
with both feet, doesn't it?
102
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:57,000
-Absolutely.
103
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,666
I never know
what she's talking about.
104
00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:04,133
♪ When it's up you
to hold your house together ♪
105
00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:07,800
♪ A house you built
with patience and with care ♪
106
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:12,366
♪ But you're grappling with
that gray and rainy weather ♪
107
00:05:12,366 --> 00:05:15,200
♪ And you're living on
a latte and a prayer ♪
108
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,666
-♪ Prayer ♪
109
00:05:16,666 --> 00:05:19,366
-♪ Can you keep the cup
from tipping? ♪
110
00:05:19,366 --> 00:05:23,900
♪ Can you keep your grip
from slipping in despair? ♪
111
00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:27,066
♪ For just another day ♪
112
00:05:27,066 --> 00:05:30,400
♪ In the hustle and the hurry ♪
113
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,100
-♪ You want to wipe
your worry clean away ♪
114
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,933
-Oh.
115
00:05:34,933 --> 00:05:37,733
-♪ For just another day ♪
116
00:05:37,733 --> 00:05:41,100
-♪ I will keep the plates
all spinning ♪
117
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:45,866
-♪ With a smile so white
and winning all the way ♪
118
00:05:45,866 --> 00:05:49,833
-♪ 'Cause what doesn't kill me
doesn't kill me ♪
119
00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:54,933
♪ So fill me up
for just another day ♪
120
00:05:56,066 --> 00:05:58,766
-♪ It only hurts
when I'm here ♪
121
00:05:58,766 --> 00:06:00,400
-♪ Bum, bum, bum ♪
122
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,266
-You're gonna be late,
and you've got a huge day today.
123
00:06:03,266 --> 00:06:04,800
-You have no idea
what I do all day.
124
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,866
-Jazz band before school,
class, Key Club, then football.
125
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,300
-Not bad.
126
00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:10,466
-Mm. Now get out of here.
-Okay. [ Chuckles ]
127
00:06:13,566 --> 00:06:16,766
-♪ It only hurts
when he goes ♪
128
00:06:16,766 --> 00:06:18,400
-♪ Bum, bum, bum ♪
129
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,233
-Morning, sunshine.
130
00:06:20,233 --> 00:06:23,033
-So, I got the date
for my winter recital,
131
00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:24,166
Do you think
you guys can come?
132
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,900
-Uh, yeah!
We'll put it on the calendar.
133
00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:29,533
-Mom, the calendar is
still on April of last year.
134
00:06:29,533 --> 00:06:32,500
-Mm. Well, happy Easter.
135
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:33,933
-Happy Easter, Mom.
136
00:06:33,933 --> 00:06:35,566
-Hi, sweetheart.
-Hey.
137
00:06:35,566 --> 00:06:38,466
She's on fire this morning.
-Oh, I know.
138
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,166
-Ew.
139
00:06:41,766 --> 00:06:43,400
-Honey,
can you do the shopping today?
140
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,133
I'm slammed at work,
and we're out of everything.
141
00:06:45,133 --> 00:06:48,766
-I keep cave clean.
You go out, get fire!
142
00:06:48,766 --> 00:06:51,700
-[ Laughs ]
Absolutely.
143
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:54,166
Again, no clue.
144
00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:57,400
-♪ It only hurts
when I breathe ♪
145
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,700
-♪ It only hurts when I try ♪
-♪ It only hurts when I think ♪
146
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:02,500
-♪ It only hurts when I cry ♪
-♪ It only hurts when I work ♪
147
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,066
-♪ It hurts ♪
-♪ It only hurts when I play ♪
148
00:07:04,066 --> 00:07:05,700
-♪ It hurts ♪
-♪ It only hurts when I move ♪
149
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:08,233
-♪ It hurts when I say ♪
-♪ It only hurts when I say ♪
150
00:07:08,233 --> 00:07:09,500
-♪ It's just another day ♪
151
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,500
-♪ A busy, busy day ♪
152
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:14,200
-♪ And the morning sun
is stunning ♪
153
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:17,766
-♪ And you wish
that you were running far away ♪
154
00:07:17,766 --> 00:07:20,200
-♪ I will hide the mess away ♪
-♪ It's just another day ♪
155
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,366
-♪ And I'll survive
another day ♪
156
00:07:22,366 --> 00:07:24,433
-♪ Birds are singing,
things are growing ♪
157
00:07:24,433 --> 00:07:25,900
-♪ And I will pray ♪
158
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,433
-♪ And you wish you would be
going, but you stay ♪
159
00:07:27,433 --> 00:07:30,000
-♪ Hold on just this way ♪
160
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,500
-♪ You stay ♪
-♪ For my family's sake ♪
161
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:35,133
-♪ Though you know
it's now or never ♪
162
00:07:35,133 --> 00:07:37,000
-♪ I'll take what I can take ♪
163
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,133
-♪ And you know
that for forever ♪
164
00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:41,266
-♪ Though I'm only just awake ♪
♪ Every day is just another ♪
165
00:07:41,266 --> 00:07:43,833
♪ And another
and another ♪
166
00:07:43,833 --> 00:07:46,566
♪ I will hold it all together ♪
167
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,900
♪ We're the perfect
loving family ♪
168
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:50,166
-Diana?
169
00:07:50,166 --> 00:07:51,966
-♪ If they say we're not,
then screw 'em ♪
170
00:07:51,966 --> 00:07:54,566
♪ We're the perfect
loving family ♪
171
00:07:54,566 --> 00:07:55,900
♪ I will keep
the plates all spinning ♪
172
00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:57,200
-Diana...
173
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,100
-♪ And the world just
keeps on spinning ♪
174
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:00,533
And I think the house
is spinning.
175
00:08:00,533 --> 00:08:02,966
-Hey, Diana, honey?
-Dad?
176
00:08:02,966 --> 00:08:04,833
-Don't worry about it.
-Go on ahead.
177
00:08:04,833 --> 00:08:06,200
You'll miss your bus.
178
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,500
-Mom?
-Everything's fine!
179
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:09,233
Just making sandwiches.
180
00:08:09,233 --> 00:08:10,833
On the floor.
Um...
181
00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:13,000
-You go on ahead.
You'll miss your bus.
182
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,866
-Go.
183
00:08:14,866 --> 00:08:16,066
Sweetie, everything okay?
-Hmm?
184
00:08:16,066 --> 00:08:17,900
-Yeah. I wanted to
get ahead on lunches.
185
00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:20,566
-Yeah, sure. Why don't you
let me help you up?
186
00:08:22,933 --> 00:08:25,800
-Well, I guess I got
a little carried away.
187
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:30,033
-Maybe a little.
Um, let's go see Dr. Fine.
188
00:08:30,033 --> 00:08:33,466
T-This is just a blip, okay?
It's nothing to worry about.
189
00:08:33,466 --> 00:08:37,233
I'll, uh, wrap up the
sandwiches, and then we'll go.
190
00:08:37,233 --> 00:08:39,833
[ Bell rings ]
191
00:08:39,833 --> 00:08:56,000
♪♪
192
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,433
-♪ Mozart was crazy ♪
193
00:08:59,766 --> 00:09:02,433
♪ Flat freaking crazy ♪
194
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:05,333
♪ Nutso, I hear ♪
195
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:08,566
♪ But his music's not crazy ♪
196
00:09:08,566 --> 00:09:12,100
♪ It's balanced, it's nimble,
it's crystalline-clear ♪
197
00:09:13,300 --> 00:09:14,733
♪ There's harmony, logic ♪
198
00:09:14,733 --> 00:09:17,000
♪ You listen to these ♪
199
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,033
♪ You don't hear his doubts
or his debts or disease ♪
200
00:09:20,033 --> 00:09:23,400
♪ You scan through the score
and put fingers on keys ♪
201
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,033
♪ And you play ♪
202
00:09:25,033 --> 00:09:27,500
♪♪
203
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:31,466
♪ And everything else
goes away ♪
204
00:09:31,466 --> 00:09:35,200
♪ Everything else goes away ♪
205
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,833
♪ So you play till it's perfect,
you play till you ache ♪
206
00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:42,433
♪ You play till the strings
or your fingernails break ♪
207
00:09:42,433 --> 00:09:46,133
♪ So you'll rock that recital
and get into Yale ♪
208
00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:50,000
♪ So you won't feel so sick
and you won't look so pale ♪
209
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,533
♪ 'Cause you've got
your full ride,
210
00:09:51,533 --> 00:09:53,466
and it means that you're gone ♪
211
00:09:53,466 --> 00:09:57,033
♪ So you're done with this
school and you get to move on ♪
212
00:09:57,033 --> 00:10:00,933
♪ So you graduate early,
you're gone as of May ♪
213
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:08,033
♪ And there's nothing
your paranoid parents can say ♪
214
00:10:10,133 --> 00:10:14,333
♪ And you know
that it's just a sonata away ♪
215
00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:16,066
♪ And you play ♪
216
00:10:18,066 --> 00:10:20,633
♪ And you play ♪
217
00:10:23,233 --> 00:10:27,566
♪ And everything else
goes away ♪
218
00:10:27,566 --> 00:10:32,000
♪ Everything else
goes away ♪
219
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,733
♪ Everything else goes -- ♪
220
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,433
-Sounds good.
221
00:10:35,433 --> 00:10:38,266
-Uh, I-I still have
this practice room for
222
00:10:38,266 --> 00:10:39,666
seven and a half minutes.
223
00:10:39,666 --> 00:10:43,633
-Yeah. I mean, I know.
I just like to listen.
224
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:46,500
I'm Henry.
225
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,566
-Natalie.
-Yeah.
226
00:10:48,566 --> 00:10:50,333
I mean, I know.
227
00:10:51,633 --> 00:10:54,200
-It's a little creepy
that you know.
228
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:57,100
-We've gone to school
together for like six years.
229
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,366
-Really?
230
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:00,866
-I sit behind you
in four classes.
231
00:11:01,766 --> 00:11:02,766
-Huh!
232
00:11:02,766 --> 00:11:04,733
Also creepy.
233
00:11:05,633 --> 00:11:07,900
-You're in here a lot.
234
00:11:10,766 --> 00:11:13,866
You know, before school...
235
00:11:13,866 --> 00:11:15,700
and after.
236
00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:17,566
-Right.
237
00:11:17,566 --> 00:11:18,833
Seven minutes.
238
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,566
You give up way too easily.
239
00:11:24,566 --> 00:11:26,266
-[ Laughs nervously ]
240
00:11:26,266 --> 00:11:28,233
You're kind of
a confusing person.
241
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:30,533
-You should meet my mother.
242
00:11:32,533 --> 00:11:34,666
-The pink ones are taken
with food,
243
00:11:34,666 --> 00:11:36,633
but not with the white ones.
244
00:11:36,633 --> 00:11:38,533
The white ones are taken
with the round yellow ones,
245
00:11:38,533 --> 00:11:40,300
but not with the
triangle yellow ones.
246
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,566
The triangle yellow ones are
taken with the oblong green ones
247
00:11:42,566 --> 00:11:44,700
with food,
but not with the pink ones.
248
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:47,166
If a train's leaving
New York at 120 miles an hour
249
00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:49,566
and the other train is leaving
St. Petersburg at the same time
250
00:11:49,566 --> 00:11:51,333
but going backwards,
which train do you get on...
251
00:11:51,333 --> 00:11:52,566
-♪ Who's crazy?
252
00:11:52,566 --> 00:11:54,533
♪ The husband or wife?
253
00:11:54,533 --> 00:11:56,166
♪ Who's crazy?
254
00:11:56,166 --> 00:11:58,333
♪ To live their whole life ♪
255
00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:05,233
♪ Believing that somehow, things
aren't as bizarre as they are? ♪
256
00:12:05,233 --> 00:12:07,266
♪ Who's crazy? ♪
257
00:12:07,266 --> 00:12:09,233
♪ The one who can't cope ♪
258
00:12:09,233 --> 00:12:10,666
♪ Or maybe ♪
259
00:12:10,666 --> 00:12:13,066
♪ The one who'll still hope? ♪
260
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,333
♪ The one who sees doctors
or the one
261
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:19,666
who just waits in the car? ♪
262
00:12:19,666 --> 00:12:24,000
♪ And I was a wild twenty-five ♪
263
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,533
♪ And I loved a wife so alive ♪
264
00:12:28,533 --> 00:12:31,600
♪ But now I believe
I would settle ♪
265
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:35,300
♪ For one who can drive ♪
266
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:37,800
-The round blue ones
are taken with food,
267
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,866
but not with
the oblong white ones.
268
00:12:39,866 --> 00:12:42,000
The white ones are taken
with the round yellow ones,
269
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,000
but not with
the trapezoidal green ones.
270
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,500
Break the green ones into thirds
271
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:46,900
with a tiny chisel,
put it all into a mortar...
272
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:51,433
-♪ My psychopharmacologist
and I ♪
273
00:12:51,433 --> 00:12:54,866
♪ It's like an odd romance ♪
274
00:12:54,866 --> 00:12:58,166
♪ Intense and very intimate ♪
275
00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:02,600
♪ We do our dance ♪
276
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:06,833
♪ My psychopharmacologist
and I ♪
277
00:13:06,833 --> 00:13:09,900
♪ Call it a lover's game ♪
278
00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:13,400
♪ He knows my deepest secrets ♪
279
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:17,933
♪ I know his name ♪
280
00:13:17,933 --> 00:13:21,400
♪ And though
he'll never hold me ♪
281
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:25,466
♪ He'll always take my calls ♪
282
00:13:25,466 --> 00:13:28,833
♪ It's truly like he told me ♪
283
00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:33,466
♪ Without a little lift,
the ballerina falls ♪
284
00:13:33,466 --> 00:13:35,400
-Goodman, Diana.
285
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,000
Bipolar disorder
with delusional episodes.
286
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,733
16-year history of medication.
Adjustment after four weeks.
287
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,033
-I've got less anxiety,
288
00:13:43,033 --> 00:13:45,000
but I have headaches
289
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,300
and blurry vision
290
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:48,866
and I can't feel my toes.
291
00:13:48,866 --> 00:13:52,566
-So, we'll try again, and
eventually, we'll get it right.
292
00:13:52,566 --> 00:13:55,433
-Mm!
Not a very exact science, is it?
293
00:13:55,433 --> 00:13:59,966
-♪ Zoloft and Paxil
and BuSpar and Xanax ♪
294
00:13:59,966 --> 00:14:03,833
♪ Depakote, Klonopin,
Ambien, Prozac ♪
295
00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:07,566
♪ Ativan calms me
when I see the bills ♪
296
00:14:07,566 --> 00:14:12,633
♪ These are a few
of my favorite pills ♪
297
00:14:12,633 --> 00:14:14,300
-[ Gasps ]
Thank you, Doctor!
298
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:17,900
Valium is my favorite color.
How'd you know?
299
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,700
-It's just t-the thing
about jazz is,
300
00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:21,300
how do you ever know
if you got it right?
301
00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:22,866
-It's just making stuff up.
302
00:14:22,866 --> 00:14:25,533
-Which is also known
as the act of creation.
303
00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:29,133
-Oh. You're one of
those pretentious stoner types.
304
00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:32,033
-That's totally not fair.
I'm not pretentious.
305
00:14:32,866 --> 00:14:34,433
I'm definitely not classical.
306
00:14:34,433 --> 00:14:36,233
It's far too rigid
and structured.
307
00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:37,666
There's no room
for improvisation.
308
00:14:37,666 --> 00:14:39,133
You have to play the notes
on the page.
309
00:14:39,133 --> 00:14:41,400
-Yeah, and what did Mozart know,
anyway?
310
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,300
He should have just smoked
a bowl and jammed on
311
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,066
"Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."
312
00:14:45,066 --> 00:14:48,133
-[ Laughs ]
Yeah, let's do that!
313
00:14:48,133 --> 00:14:49,433
-Goodman, Diana.
314
00:14:49,433 --> 00:14:51,300
Second adjustment
after eight weeks.
315
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:54,466
Delusions less frequent,
but depressive state worse.
316
00:14:54,466 --> 00:14:57,433
-I'm nauseous
and I'm constipated.
317
00:14:57,433 --> 00:15:01,300
Completely lost my appetite
and gained 6 pounds.
318
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:05,033
Which is just,
you know, not fair.
319
00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:10,366
-♪ May cause the following
side effects, one or more ♪
320
00:15:10,366 --> 00:15:14,200
♪ Dizziness, drowsiness,
sexual dysfunction ♪
321
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:18,400
♪ Headaches and tremors
and nightmares and seizures ♪
322
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,166
♪ Anxiousness, anger,
exhaustion, insomnia,
323
00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:22,300
irritability, nausea,
vomiting ♪
324
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:24,333
-♪ Odd and alarming
sexual feelings ♪
325
00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:26,033
-♪ Oh, and one last thing ♪
326
00:15:26,033 --> 00:15:28,266
-♪ Use may be fatal ♪
-♪ Use may be fatal ♪
327
00:15:28,266 --> 00:15:31,466
-♪ Use may be fatal ♪
328
00:15:31,466 --> 00:15:32,866
-Goodman, Diana.
329
00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:34,933
Third adjustment
after 12 weeks.
330
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:38,500
Reports continued, mild anxiety
and some lingering depression.
331
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,966
-I now can't feel my fingers
or my toes.
332
00:15:40,966 --> 00:15:43,666
I-I sweat profusely
for no reason.
333
00:15:43,666 --> 00:15:46,900
-I've wasted like weeks of
practice with you, improvising.
334
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:49,233
-Oscar Peterson
was classically trained.
335
00:15:49,233 --> 00:15:50,500
-Beethoven did cocaine.
336
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,466
-Miles Davis went to Juilliard.
337
00:15:52,466 --> 00:15:55,200
-Mozart wrote poems about farts.
338
00:15:56,066 --> 00:16:00,200
-Fortunately, I have
absolutely no desire for sex.
339
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,233
Though whether that's
the medicine
340
00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:03,566
or the marriage
is anybody's guess.
341
00:16:03,566 --> 00:16:06,200
-I'm sure it's the medicine.
342
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:10,733
-Oh, thank you.
That's very sweet.
343
00:16:10,733 --> 00:16:12,033
[ Giggles ]
344
00:16:12,033 --> 00:16:14,600
But my husband is waiting
in the car.
345
00:16:15,566 --> 00:16:17,966
-♪ Who's crazy?
346
00:16:17,966 --> 00:16:21,700
♪ The one who's half-gone,
or maybe ♪
347
00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:23,800
♪ The one who holds on? ♪
348
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,333
♪ Remembering when
she was twenty ♪
349
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:31,733
♪ And brilliant and bold ♪
350
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,366
♪ And I was so young ♪
351
00:16:36,366 --> 00:16:38,300
♪ And so dumb ♪
352
00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:42,533
♪ And now I am old ♪
353
00:16:42,533 --> 00:16:44,400
♪ And she was
wicked and wired ♪
354
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,466
-♪ And though
he'll never hold me ♪
355
00:16:46,466 --> 00:16:50,733
-♪ The sex was simply inspired ♪
-♪ He'll always take my calls ♪
356
00:16:50,733 --> 00:16:52,100
-♪ Now there's no sex,
she's depressed ♪
357
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:53,766
-♪ It's truly like he told me ♪
358
00:16:53,766 --> 00:16:55,166
-♪ And me, I'm just
tired, tired, tired, tired ♪
359
00:16:55,166 --> 00:16:58,400
-♪ Without a little lift,
the ballerina falls ♪
360
00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,533
-♪ Who's crazy? ♪
361
00:16:59,533 --> 00:17:00,833
-♪ My psychopharmacologist
and I ♪
362
00:17:00,833 --> 00:17:03,433
-♪ The one who's uncured,
or maybe ♪
363
00:17:03,433 --> 00:17:06,733
-♪ Together side by side ♪
-♪ The one who's endured? ♪
364
00:17:06,733 --> 00:17:08,533
-♪ The one who has treatments ♪
-♪ Without him, I'd die ♪
365
00:17:08,533 --> 00:17:09,733
-♪ Or the one
who just lives with the pain? ♪
366
00:17:09,733 --> 00:17:14,966
-♪ My psychopharmacologist
and I ♪
367
00:17:14,966 --> 00:17:18,366
-♪ They say love is blind ♪
368
00:17:18,366 --> 00:17:20,433
♪ But believe me ♪
369
00:17:20,433 --> 00:17:22,133
[ Pills rattle,
chuckles ]
370
00:17:22,133 --> 00:17:24,433
♪ Love is insane ♪
371
00:17:24,433 --> 00:17:28,033
-Goodman, Diana.
16 weeks.
372
00:17:28,033 --> 00:17:31,166
-I don't feel like myself.
373
00:17:31,166 --> 00:17:34,766
I mean,
I-I don't feel anything.
374
00:17:34,766 --> 00:17:37,166
-Uh-huh.
375
00:17:37,166 --> 00:17:39,466
Patient stable.
376
00:17:39,466 --> 00:17:42,933
♪♪
377
00:17:42,933 --> 00:17:44,933
[ Cheers and applause ]
378
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,300
♪♪
379
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:56,933
-Hey, uh, your mom's, like,
in the next room.
380
00:17:56,933 --> 00:18:00,966
-She's in denial.
It's totally convenient.
381
00:18:06,733 --> 00:18:08,700
Dude, it's therapeutic.
382
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:10,000
-Right.
383
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:13,633
It's medical marijuana
to treat your ADHD.
384
00:18:13,633 --> 00:18:15,066
-Totally.
[ Chuckles ]
385
00:18:16,633 --> 00:18:18,266
Huh?
386
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:25,500
-Oh, uh, I don't put anything
into my mouth that's on fire.
387
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,566
-I guess that's a good rule.
388
00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:33,666
♪♪
389
00:18:33,666 --> 00:18:35,600
-Oh! Uh...
-Oh.
390
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:39,200
-No, I...
-[ Sighs ]
391
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,233
I can't do this.
392
00:18:42,233 --> 00:18:43,333
Not with my life.
393
00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:47,133
I-I'm like
one screw-up from disaster.
394
00:18:48,833 --> 00:18:51,066
-Your life's not a disaster.
395
00:18:51,066 --> 00:18:53,533
The environment is a disaster.
X is a disaster.
396
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:56,600
-You're stoned.
-♪ Our planet is poisoned ♪
397
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,566
♪ The oceans, the air ♪
398
00:18:58,566 --> 00:19:01,833
♪ Around and beneath
and above you ♪
399
00:19:01,833 --> 00:19:05,633
-♪ Um, Henry, that's true,
and I totally care ♪
400
00:19:05,633 --> 00:19:08,833
-♪ I'm trying
to tell you I love you ♪
401
00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:11,033
-What?
-♪ The world is at war,
402
00:19:11,033 --> 00:19:13,466
filled with death and disease ♪
403
00:19:13,466 --> 00:19:16,733
♪ We dance on the edge
of destruction ♪
404
00:19:16,733 --> 00:19:21,200
♪ The globe's getting warmer
by deadly degrees ♪
405
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,500
-♪ And this is one messed-up
seduction ♪
406
00:19:25,533 --> 00:19:31,333
-♪ This planet is pretty
much broken beyond all repair ♪
407
00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:33,766
♪ But one thing is working ♪
408
00:19:33,766 --> 00:19:38,800
♪ If you're standing there ♪
409
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:42,333
♪ Perfect for you ♪
410
00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:46,066
♪ I could be perfect for you ♪
411
00:19:46,066 --> 00:19:53,666
♪ And I might be lazy, a loner,
a bit of a stoner, it's true ♪
412
00:19:53,666 --> 00:19:57,666
♪ But I might be perfect ♪
413
00:19:57,666 --> 00:19:59,966
♪ I'll make myself perfect ♪
414
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,600
♪ Perfect for you ♪
415
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:05,333
♪ You square all the corners,
I straighten the curves ♪
416
00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:09,066
-♪ You've got some nerve,
Henry, and I'm just all nerves ♪
417
00:20:09,066 --> 00:20:13,133
-♪ But even if everything else
turns to dirt ♪
418
00:20:13,133 --> 00:20:18,566
-♪ We'll be the one thing
in this world that won't hurt ♪
419
00:20:21,566 --> 00:20:24,100
-♪ I can't fix
what's messed up ♪
420
00:20:25,466 --> 00:20:31,133
♪ But one thing I know
I can do ♪
421
00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:35,400
♪ I can be perfect for you ♪
422
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:41,900
-♪ I can be perfect
for you ♪
423
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:44,933
-♪ Perfect
424
00:20:44,933 --> 00:20:53,333
for you ♪
425
00:20:53,333 --> 00:21:08,766
♪♪
426
00:21:08,766 --> 00:21:11,300
-Nice house.
427
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:12,566
Can I come in?
-Oh, no.
428
00:21:12,566 --> 00:21:14,600
-Oh.
429
00:21:16,766 --> 00:21:19,233
-Are you spying
on your own daughter?
430
00:21:19,233 --> 00:21:21,933
-When did she get a boyfriend?
-Ew.
431
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,300
-How did I miss this?
432
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:29,400
-Well, you kinda miss a lot.
433
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:35,366
♪♪
434
00:21:35,366 --> 00:21:38,533
-You think they're in love?
-[ Laughs ]
435
00:21:38,533 --> 00:21:40,400
Who knows?
436
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,433
They're young
and they're horny.
437
00:21:43,433 --> 00:21:45,966
It happens.
438
00:21:45,966 --> 00:21:48,566
-Marry me.
-What?
439
00:21:48,566 --> 00:21:51,333
-Marry me.
Let's have a family.
440
00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:54,333
Now, I-I know we're too young,
but we're not.
441
00:21:54,333 --> 00:21:55,700
I'm almost 22.
442
00:21:55,700 --> 00:21:59,500
And h-how do you know
that this isn't a sign
443
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:01,466
saying we
belong together?
444
00:22:01,466 --> 00:22:05,900
-How do you know it's not
a sign saying get new rubbers?
445
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,633
-Because I know it's not.
446
00:22:08,633 --> 00:22:12,233
I love you and this baby.
447
00:22:12,233 --> 00:22:14,300
-[ Laughs ]
448
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:18,566
Dan, this is crazy.
-This is crazy.
449
00:22:18,566 --> 00:22:19,666
-Maybe it is.
-Maybe it is.
450
00:22:19,666 --> 00:22:23,133
♪♪
451
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:25,100
-[ Laughs ]
452
00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:33,500
♪♪
453
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:36,233
[ Laughs ]
454
00:22:36,233 --> 00:22:44,366
♪♪
455
00:22:44,366 --> 00:22:49,733
-♪ There was a time
when I flew higher ♪
456
00:22:51,833 --> 00:22:58,733
♪ Was a time
the wild girl running free ♪
457
00:22:58,733 --> 00:23:02,133
♪ Would be me ♪
458
00:23:03,900 --> 00:23:09,100
♪ Now I see her feel the fire ♪
459
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:15,666
♪ Now I know she needs
me there to share ♪
460
00:23:17,433 --> 00:23:20,933
♪ I'm nowhere ♪
461
00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:27,333
♪ All these blank
and tranquil years ♪
462
00:23:27,333 --> 00:23:34,033
♪ Seems they dried up
all my tears ♪
463
00:23:34,033 --> 00:23:39,366
♪ And while she runs
free and fast ♪
464
00:23:40,366 --> 00:23:45,366
♪ Seems my wild days
465
00:23:45,366 --> 00:23:53,466
are past ♪
466
00:23:55,466 --> 00:24:04,733
♪ But I miss the mountains ♪
467
00:24:04,733 --> 00:24:09,066
♪ I miss the dizzy heights ♪
468
00:24:10,033 --> 00:24:13,800
♪ All the manic, magic days ♪
469
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:17,766
♪ And the dark,
depressing nights ♪
470
00:24:19,666 --> 00:24:25,466
♪ I miss the mountains ♪
471
00:24:25,466 --> 00:24:30,133
♪ I miss the highs
and lows ♪
472
00:24:30,133 --> 00:24:34,100
♪ All the climbing,
all the falling ♪
473
00:24:34,100 --> 00:24:37,766
♪ All the while,
the wild wind blows ♪
474
00:24:37,766 --> 00:24:40,400
♪ Stinging you with snow ♪
475
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:45,700
♪ And soaking you with rain ♪
476
00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:50,400
♪ I miss the mountains ♪
477
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,033
♪ I miss the pain ♪
478
00:24:57,233 --> 00:25:00,466
♪ Mountains make you crazy ♪
479
00:25:00,466 --> 00:25:03,033
♪ Here, it's safe and sound ♪
480
00:25:03,033 --> 00:25:05,566
♪ My mind is somewhere hazy ♪
481
00:25:05,566 --> 00:25:09,200
♪ My feet are on the ground ♪
482
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:15,233
♪ Everything is balanced here
and on an even keel ♪
483
00:25:15,233 --> 00:25:19,500
♪ Everything is perfect ♪
484
00:25:22,100 --> 00:25:34,166
♪ Nothing's real ♪
485
00:25:34,166 --> 00:25:40,800
♪ And I miss the mountains ♪
486
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:45,800
♪ I miss the lonely climb ♪
487
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,766
♪ Wandering through
the wilderness ♪
488
00:25:49,766 --> 00:25:52,800
♪ And spending all my time ♪
489
00:25:52,800 --> 00:26:00,333
♪ Where the air is clear
and cuts you like a knife ♪
490
00:26:00,333 --> 00:26:05,400
♪ I miss the mountains ♪
491
00:26:05,733 --> 00:26:11,633
♪ I miss the mountains ♪
492
00:26:14,333 --> 00:26:18,633
♪ I miss my
493
00:26:18,633 --> 00:26:24,766
life ♪
494
00:26:24,766 --> 00:26:29,000
♪ I miss my
495
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:37,366
life ♪
496
00:26:37,366 --> 00:26:39,366
[ Cheers and applause ]
497
00:26:59,433 --> 00:27:01,866
-Are you sure about this, Mom?
498
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,366
-What?
You think it's a bad idea?
499
00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:08,833
-Um...
500
00:27:10,700 --> 00:27:12,933
I think it's a great idea.
501
00:27:14,233 --> 00:27:16,133
Yeah.
I think you're brave.
502
00:27:19,266 --> 00:27:22,500
-What will your father think?
503
00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:25,266
-Nothing.
504
00:27:25,266 --> 00:27:27,666
If he doesn't know.
505
00:27:35,766 --> 00:27:38,633
♪♪
506
00:27:38,633 --> 00:27:44,433
-♪ It's gonna be good ♪
-♪ Good, good, good ♪
507
00:27:44,433 --> 00:27:46,533
-♪ It's gonna be good ♪
508
00:27:46,533 --> 00:27:48,466
-♪ G-O-O-D, good ♪
509
00:27:48,466 --> 00:27:50,033
-♪ It's gonna be good ♪
-♪ Uh-huh ♪
510
00:27:50,033 --> 00:27:51,333
-♪ It's gonna be good ♪
-♪ Mm-hmm ♪
511
00:27:51,333 --> 00:27:52,500
-♪ Two weeks,
and it's all working
512
00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:54,433
just the way I knew it would ♪
513
00:27:54,433 --> 00:27:57,200
♪ And I don't sit at work just
waiting for the phone to ring ♪
514
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:58,500
-♪ A-ling ♪
515
00:27:58,500 --> 00:28:00,366
-♪ It's a good, good,
good, good thing ♪
516
00:28:00,366 --> 00:28:01,400
-♪ Ring ♪
517
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,133
-♪ A-ling ♪
518
00:28:03,133 --> 00:28:05,500
-♪ Ring ♪
-♪ A-ling ♪
519
00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:06,766
-Hello?
520
00:28:06,766 --> 00:28:08,466
Oh, hi, sweetie!
-♪ Uh-huh ♪
521
00:28:08,466 --> 00:28:09,666
-Yeah, everything's great,
fantastic.
522
00:28:09,666 --> 00:28:11,033
I disinfected
the entire house,
523
00:28:11,033 --> 00:28:12,966
rewired the computer,
and did some decoupage.
524
00:28:12,966 --> 00:28:14,866
Okay, bye-bye.
-♪ Uh-huh ♪
525
00:28:14,866 --> 00:28:18,300
-Oh, next,
I think I'll retile the roof.
526
00:28:19,633 --> 00:28:21,766
-♪ It's gonna be great ♪
-♪ It's gonna be great ♪
527
00:28:21,766 --> 00:28:23,766
-♪ Will be great ♪
-♪ The sex is still amazing,
528
00:28:23,766 --> 00:28:25,600
and we don't stay up that late ♪
529
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,433
♪ It's almost been a month,
and she's as happy as a clam ♪
530
00:28:27,433 --> 00:28:29,400
-♪ Happy as a clam ♪
531
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,666
-♪ Do I look great,
I am ♪
532
00:28:31,666 --> 00:28:34,300
-Look, I'd ask you in,
but it's too soon.
533
00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:36,566
-We've been going out
for nine weeks and three days.
534
00:28:36,566 --> 00:28:38,300
Don't I get to meet
your family?
535
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:40,666
-Oh, you keep count?
536
00:28:40,666 --> 00:28:43,233
You're so the girl.
And no.
537
00:28:43,233 --> 00:28:45,900
-Natalie!
And this must be Harry!
538
00:28:45,900 --> 00:28:47,066
-It's Henry.
539
00:28:47,066 --> 00:28:49,033
-Pleasure to finally meet you.
Come on in.
540
00:28:49,033 --> 00:28:50,233
Why don't you join us
for dinner?
541
00:28:50,233 --> 00:28:54,533
-Uh, Dad, no!
Henry really can't stay.
542
00:28:54,533 --> 00:28:56,466
He's got, uh...
543
00:28:56,466 --> 00:28:58,566
-♪ It's gonna be good ♪
-Homework.
544
00:28:58,566 --> 00:29:00,233
-♪ It's gonna be good ♪
-Surgery.
545
00:29:00,233 --> 00:29:02,166
-♪ Gonna sit right down together
like a happy family should ♪
546
00:29:02,166 --> 00:29:03,400
-Rabies.
547
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:04,833
-♪ And eat and talk
and laugh and joke,
548
00:29:04,833 --> 00:29:06,633
my pride, my brood,
and me ♪
549
00:29:06,633 --> 00:29:08,766
♪ It's gonna be good,
you'll see ♪
550
00:29:08,766 --> 00:29:10,133
♪ We'll smile and chat,
and just like that,
551
00:29:10,133 --> 00:29:11,500
we'll all be all okay ♪
552
00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:13,400
♪ It's gonna be great,
it's gonna be great ♪
553
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:16,600
♪ It's gonna be, gonna be,
gonna be great that way ♪
554
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,133
♪ Hey ♪
555
00:29:18,133 --> 00:29:21,700
♪ It's gonna be good,
it's gonna be great ♪
556
00:29:21,700 --> 00:29:24,900
♪ Gonna sit right down together
like a happy family should ♪
557
00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:28,366
♪ And eat and talk and laugh
and joke, my family and me ♪
558
00:29:28,366 --> 00:29:30,500
♪ It's gonna be good,
gonna be good ♪
559
00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:32,466
♪ Gonna be, gonna be, gonna be,
gonna be, gonna be ♪
560
00:29:32,466 --> 00:29:33,933
♪ Good, good, good, good, good,
good, good, good, good,
561
00:29:33,933 --> 00:29:35,300
good, good, good ♪
562
00:29:35,300 --> 00:29:36,966
♪ It's gonna be good,
it's gonna be good ♪
563
00:29:36,966 --> 00:29:38,366
-♪ It's gonna be good,
you'll see ♪
564
00:29:38,366 --> 00:29:41,433
-Okay!
It's somebody's birthday!
565
00:29:41,433 --> 00:29:44,533
-[ Laughs ]
Whose birthday is it?
566
00:29:47,733 --> 00:29:50,566
-My brother's.
-Oh.
567
00:29:50,566 --> 00:29:52,933
I didn't know
you had a brother.
568
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:56,200
-I don't.
569
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:58,233
♪♪
570
00:29:58,233 --> 00:30:00,900
He died before I was born.
571
00:30:03,566 --> 00:30:06,200
-What?
572
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,866
What is it?
573
00:30:10,066 --> 00:30:12,666
-♪ He's not here ♪
574
00:30:14,133 --> 00:30:16,333
♪ He's not here ♪
575
00:30:17,300 --> 00:30:22,566
♪ Love, I know you know ♪
576
00:30:22,566 --> 00:30:24,966
-[ Laughs ]
577
00:30:24,966 --> 00:30:27,900
-♪ Do you feel ♪
578
00:30:27,900 --> 00:30:30,400
♪ He's still real? ♪
579
00:30:31,433 --> 00:30:34,500
♪ Love, it's just not so ♪
580
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:38,266
-Just stop.
581
00:30:38,266 --> 00:30:42,866
-♪ Why is it
you still believe? ♪
582
00:30:43,900 --> 00:30:50,800
♪ Do you dream
or do you grieve? ♪
583
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:55,933
♪ You've got to let him go ♪
584
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:05,533
♪ He's been dead
all these years ♪
585
00:31:05,533 --> 00:31:08,333
♪ No, my love ♪
586
00:31:10,433 --> 00:31:13,833
♪ He's not here ♪
587
00:31:13,833 --> 00:31:16,300
-This is bull.
-Language.
588
00:31:16,300 --> 00:31:18,233
-No, screw this.
589
00:31:21,033 --> 00:31:23,000
-It was wonderful
to meet you both.
590
00:31:25,733 --> 00:31:27,333
Thank you.
591
00:31:27,333 --> 00:31:36,100
♪♪
592
00:31:36,100 --> 00:31:39,566
-What about the new meds?
593
00:31:42,266 --> 00:31:44,900
-We have the happiest
septic tank on the block.
594
00:31:44,900 --> 00:31:46,600
-You...
595
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,333
-Come on, Di.
They were working.
596
00:31:48,333 --> 00:31:49,966
-They weren't, really.
597
00:31:49,966 --> 00:31:53,833
-[ Sighs ] Alright, um,
we'll get a new round.
598
00:31:53,833 --> 00:31:55,833
We'll go back to Dr. Fine.
-No!
599
00:31:55,833 --> 00:31:57,666
-Diana,
look, I know this is hard.
600
00:31:59,100 --> 00:32:01,000
-Oh, you know?
601
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,766
Really?
What exactly do you know?
602
00:32:03,766 --> 00:32:07,133
-I know that you're hurting,
alright? I am, too.
603
00:32:07,133 --> 00:32:11,866
-♪ Do you wake up in the morning
and need help to lift your head?
604
00:32:11,866 --> 00:32:16,333
♪ Do you read obituaries
and feel jealous of the dead?
605
00:32:16,333 --> 00:32:18,933
♪ It's like living
on a cliffside,
606
00:32:18,933 --> 00:32:21,000
not knowing
when you'll dive ♪
607
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:25,900
♪ Do you know, do you know
what it's like to die alive? ♪
608
00:32:25,900 --> 00:32:28,700
♪ When a world that
once had color fades to
609
00:32:28,700 --> 00:32:30,566
white and gray and black ♪
610
00:32:30,566 --> 00:32:33,033
♪ When tomorrow terrifies you,
611
00:32:33,033 --> 00:32:34,833
but you'll die
if you look back ♪
612
00:32:34,833 --> 00:32:37,400
♪ You don't know ♪
613
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,633
♪ I know you don't know ♪
614
00:32:39,633 --> 00:32:42,000
♪ You say that you're hurting ♪
615
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,400
♪ It sure doesn't show ♪
616
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,900
♪ You don't know ♪
617
00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:49,566
♪ It lays me so low ♪
618
00:32:49,566 --> 00:32:51,566
♪ When you say, "Let go" ♪
619
00:32:51,566 --> 00:32:58,333
♪ And I say,
"You don't know" ♪
620
00:32:58,333 --> 00:33:00,966
♪ The sensation
that you're screaming,
621
00:33:00,966 --> 00:33:03,533
but you never make a sound ♪
622
00:33:03,533 --> 00:33:05,666
♪ Or the feeling
that you're falling,
623
00:33:05,666 --> 00:33:07,966
but you never hit the ground ♪
624
00:33:07,966 --> 00:33:10,466
♪ It just keeps on
rushing at you
625
00:33:10,466 --> 00:33:12,566
day by day by day by day ♪
626
00:33:12,566 --> 00:33:14,400
♪ You don't know,
627
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,600
you don't know what it's like
to live that way ♪
628
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:22,100
♪ Like a refugee,
a fugitive forever on the run ♪
629
00:33:22,100 --> 00:33:24,900
♪ If it gets me,
it will kill me,
630
00:33:24,900 --> 00:33:27,466
but I don't know
what I've done ♪
631
00:33:27,466 --> 00:33:29,700
-♪ Can you tell me ♪
632
00:33:31,133 --> 00:33:33,633
♪ What it is
you're afraid of? ♪
633
00:33:33,633 --> 00:33:36,233
-Oh, I...
634
00:33:36,233 --> 00:33:41,100
-♪ And can you tell me why
I'm afraid it's me?
635
00:33:42,633 --> 00:33:44,766
♪ Can I touch you? ♪
636
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,800
♪ We've been fine
for so long now ♪
637
00:33:51,533 --> 00:33:56,400
♪ How could something go wrong
that I can't see? ♪
638
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,566
♪ 'Cause I'm holding on ♪
639
00:34:01,766 --> 00:34:05,366
♪ And I won't let go ♪
640
00:34:05,366 --> 00:34:08,733
♪ I just thought
you should know ♪
641
00:34:08,733 --> 00:34:11,200
♪ I am the one who knows you ♪
642
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,533
♪ I am the one who cares ♪
643
00:34:13,533 --> 00:34:17,866
♪ I am the one
who's always been there ♪
644
00:34:19,266 --> 00:34:21,533
♪ I am the one
who's helped you ♪
645
00:34:21,533 --> 00:34:26,133
♪ And if you think
that I just don't give a damn ♪
646
00:34:26,133 --> 00:34:29,866
♪ Then you just don't know
who I am ♪
647
00:34:33,700 --> 00:34:37,533
♪ Could you leave me?
-♪ Hey, Dad, it's me ♪
648
00:34:37,533 --> 00:34:39,766
-♪ Could you let me go under?
649
00:34:39,766 --> 00:34:42,666
-♪ Why can't you see?
650
00:34:42,666 --> 00:34:44,800
-♪ Will you watch as I drown ♪
651
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,600
♪ And wonder why? ♪
-♪ I wonder why ♪
652
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:49,700
-♪ Are you bleeding? ♪
653
00:34:49,700 --> 00:34:51,100
-♪ Are you waiting,
are you wishing,
654
00:34:51,100 --> 00:34:52,666
are you wanting
all that she can't give? ♪
655
00:34:52,666 --> 00:34:55,033
-♪ Are you bruised,
are you broken? ♪
656
00:34:55,033 --> 00:34:56,700
-♪ Are you hurting,
are you healing,
657
00:34:56,700 --> 00:34:58,600
are you hoping for
a life to live? ♪
658
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,100
-♪ Does it help you to know ♪
659
00:35:00,100 --> 00:35:03,233
♪ That so am I? ♪
-♪ Well, so am I ♪
660
00:35:03,233 --> 00:35:05,866
-♪ Tell me what to do ♪
661
00:35:05,866 --> 00:35:08,233
-♪ Look at me ♪
662
00:35:08,233 --> 00:35:10,566
-♪ Tell me who to be ♪
663
00:35:10,566 --> 00:35:11,800
-♪ Look at me,
and you'll see ♪
664
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,100
-♪ So I can see what you see ♪
665
00:35:15,100 --> 00:35:16,500
-♪ I am the one
who'll hold you ♪
666
00:35:16,500 --> 00:35:18,000
-♪ I am ♪
667
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,900
-♪ I am the one who'll stay ♪
-♪ I am ♪
668
00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:20,966
-♪ I am the one
who won't walk away ♪
669
00:35:20,966 --> 00:35:24,000
-♪ I won't walk away ♪
670
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,500
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
671
00:35:25,500 --> 00:35:28,000
♪ I am the one who'll hear you ♪
-♪ I am ♪
672
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,133
-♪ And now you tell me
that I won't give a damn ♪
673
00:35:31,133 --> 00:35:32,966
-♪ You don't give a damn ♪
674
00:35:32,966 --> 00:35:34,500
-♪ But I know
you know who I am ♪
675
00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:36,266
-♪ Who I am ♪
676
00:35:36,266 --> 00:35:39,200
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
677
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:40,933
-♪ That's who I am ♪
678
00:35:40,933 --> 00:35:43,900
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
679
00:35:43,900 --> 00:35:46,300
-♪ That's who I am ♪
-♪ Who I am ♪
680
00:35:46,300 --> 00:35:49,633
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
681
00:35:49,633 --> 00:35:52,566
-♪ That's who I am ♪
682
00:35:54,233 --> 00:35:57,133
♪ 'Cause I'm holding on ♪
683
00:35:57,133 --> 00:36:00,133
-♪ You say you hurt like me ♪
684
00:36:00,133 --> 00:36:02,733
-♪ And I won't let go ♪
685
00:36:02,733 --> 00:36:04,366
-♪ You say that you know ♪
686
00:36:04,366 --> 00:36:07,366
-♪ Yeah,
I thought you should know ♪
687
00:36:07,366 --> 00:36:09,900
-♪ Oh, you don't know ♪
688
00:36:09,900 --> 00:36:12,133
-♪ I am the one
who knows you ♪
689
00:36:12,133 --> 00:36:14,800
-♪ I know you don't know ♪
-♪ I am the one who cares ♪
690
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:16,100
-♪ You say that you're hurting ♪
691
00:36:16,100 --> 00:36:17,100
-♪ I am the one
who's always been there ♪
692
00:36:17,100 --> 00:36:19,333
-♪ I know it ain't so ♪
693
00:36:19,333 --> 00:36:20,633
♪ You don't know ♪
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
694
00:36:20,633 --> 00:36:22,366
♪ I am the one
who needs you ♪
695
00:36:22,366 --> 00:36:24,800
-♪ Why don't you just go? ♪
-♪ And if you think that I ♪
696
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,266
-♪ 'Cause it lays me low ♪
-♪ Just don't give a damn ♪
697
00:36:27,266 --> 00:36:28,566
-♪ When I say ♪
698
00:36:28,566 --> 00:36:31,166
-♪ Then you just don't know
who I am ♪
699
00:36:31,166 --> 00:36:32,666
-♪ You don't know ♪
700
00:36:32,666 --> 00:36:34,333
-♪ Who I am ♪
701
00:36:34,333 --> 00:36:36,133
-♪ You don't know ♪
702
00:36:36,133 --> 00:36:38,033
-♪ Who I am ♪
703
00:36:38,033 --> 00:36:45,800
-♪ You just don't know
who I am ♪
704
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,800
[ Cheers and applause ]
705
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,433
♪♪
706
00:36:59,433 --> 00:37:02,700
-When she gets like this,
she's useless.
707
00:37:02,700 --> 00:37:07,133
Can't use the phone,
can't drive, can't...
708
00:37:07,133 --> 00:37:09,966
-Well, I bet she's got
great pills.
709
00:37:12,466 --> 00:37:15,433
I mean,
not that I would go there.
710
00:37:15,433 --> 00:37:17,733
That stuff's inorganic.
711
00:37:17,733 --> 00:37:19,800
-And totally ineffective,
apparently.
712
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:23,300
-You know me.
I'm old school.
713
00:37:23,300 --> 00:37:25,533
A dying breed.
714
00:37:25,533 --> 00:37:27,933
You see,
all the preppies and the jocks,
715
00:37:27,933 --> 00:37:30,333
they're raiding their parents'
medicine cabinets.
716
00:37:30,333 --> 00:37:33,666
They're popping Xanax
and snorting Adderall.
717
00:37:33,666 --> 00:37:35,300
-Really?
718
00:37:35,300 --> 00:37:38,066
-But me,
I'm the master of the lost art
719
00:37:38,066 --> 00:37:41,100
of making a pipe out
of an apple.
720
00:37:42,433 --> 00:37:46,233
-Yeah.
You're the MacGyver of pot.
721
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:52,000
You promise this'll help?
-No. What?
722
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:56,033
-♪ Superboy
and the invisible girl ♪
723
00:37:56,033 --> 00:37:59,766
♪ Son of steel
and daughter of air ♪
724
00:37:59,766 --> 00:38:03,100
♪ He's a hero, a lover,
a prince ♪
725
00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:07,133
♪ She's not there ♪
726
00:38:07,133 --> 00:38:10,500
♪ Superboy
and the invisible girl ♪
727
00:38:10,500 --> 00:38:14,566
♪ Everything
a kid oughta be ♪
728
00:38:14,566 --> 00:38:17,500
♪ He's immortal,
forever alive ♪
729
00:38:17,500 --> 00:38:20,800
♪ Then there's me ♪
730
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:25,166
♪ I wish I could fly ♪
731
00:38:25,166 --> 00:38:29,433
♪ And magically
appear and disappear ♪
732
00:38:29,433 --> 00:38:33,300
♪ I wish I could fly ♪
733
00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:39,333
♪ I'd fly far away from here ♪
734
00:38:39,333 --> 00:38:42,600
♪ Superboy
and the invisible girl ♪
735
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:46,733
♪ He's the one
you wish would appear ♪
736
00:38:46,733 --> 00:38:49,833
♪ He's your hero,
forever your son ♪
737
00:38:49,833 --> 00:38:51,266
♪ He's not here ♪
738
00:38:51,266 --> 00:38:54,166
♪ I am here ♪
739
00:38:54,166 --> 00:38:57,333
-♪ You know that's not true ♪
740
00:38:57,333 --> 00:39:01,700
♪ You're our little pride and
joy, our perfect plan ♪
741
00:39:01,700 --> 00:39:04,966
♪ You know I love you ♪
742
00:39:06,266 --> 00:39:10,033
I love you as much as I can.
743
00:39:14,733 --> 00:39:18,266
-♪ Take a look at
the invisible girl ♪
744
00:39:18,266 --> 00:39:21,633
♪ Here she is,
clear as the day ♪
745
00:39:21,633 --> 00:39:23,633
♪ Please look closely
and find her
746
00:39:23,633 --> 00:39:29,333
before she fades away ♪
747
00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:32,733
-♪ Superboy
and the invisible girl ♪
748
00:39:32,733 --> 00:39:36,700
♪ Son of steel
and daughter of air ♪
749
00:39:36,700 --> 00:39:39,333
♪ He's a hero, a lover,
a prince ♪
750
00:39:39,333 --> 00:39:45,500
♪ She's not there ♪
751
00:39:45,700 --> 00:39:58,700
♪ She's not there ♪
752
00:39:58,700 --> 00:40:01,100
[ Cheers and applause ]
753
00:40:01,100 --> 00:40:03,100
-[ Coughs ]
754
00:40:09,533 --> 00:40:11,900
-Let's not get discouraged.
755
00:40:11,900 --> 00:40:15,000
Alright?
We'll find a doctor who can
756
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,966
treat you without the drugs.
757
00:40:16,966 --> 00:40:19,600
Alright? There is someone
out there for you.
758
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,566
In the depression forums,
they say it's like dating.
759
00:40:22,566 --> 00:40:26,066
You know, you have to keep going
until you find the right match.
760
00:40:26,066 --> 00:40:28,900
-They have depression forums?
-Yeah.
761
00:40:28,900 --> 00:40:32,266
And, uh this doctor is
supposed to be fantastic,
762
00:40:32,266 --> 00:40:33,833
like a real rock star.
763
00:40:33,833 --> 00:40:35,866
Three different women at work
gave me his name.
764
00:40:35,866 --> 00:40:38,000
-Three women at work
know I'm nuts?
765
00:40:38,900 --> 00:40:40,800
-[ Clears throat ]
-Ah!
766
00:40:42,133 --> 00:40:44,466
-Diana.
This way, please.
767
00:40:44,466 --> 00:40:46,166
♪♪
768
00:40:46,166 --> 00:40:51,033
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
769
00:40:54,633 --> 00:40:56,200
-What did you just say?
770
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,466
-I said "Welcome."
I'm Dr. Madden. Have a seat.
771
00:40:59,466 --> 00:41:01,700
It's -- It's nice to meet you.
772
00:41:01,700 --> 00:41:07,700
♪ Let's get it on now, baby ♪
773
00:41:09,533 --> 00:41:11,833
-Excuse me, what?
-I said, let's get started.
774
00:41:11,833 --> 00:41:15,066
Are you nervous, Diana?
-I am, a little.
775
00:41:15,066 --> 00:41:17,433
Um, a bit out of breath.
776
00:41:17,433 --> 00:41:21,533
Tingly, actually.
Uh, now you go.
777
00:41:21,533 --> 00:41:23,633
-Uh, let's start by getting
to know each other a bit.
778
00:41:23,633 --> 00:41:26,033
Psychotherapy and medication
work best in tandem,
779
00:41:26,033 --> 00:41:29,333
but we can try the first alone
and see how far we get.
780
00:41:29,333 --> 00:41:30,400
Why don't you tell me.
781
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:34,033
♪ Baby,
what's your history? ♪
782
00:41:34,033 --> 00:41:39,933
♪ Where'd you go,
and who'd you see, yeah ♪
783
00:41:39,933 --> 00:41:43,100
-Um, my history?
-Mm.
784
00:41:43,100 --> 00:41:49,066
-Okay, uh, I was diagnosed
bipolar, wow, 16 years ago, uh,
785
00:41:49,066 --> 00:41:50,933
but it turned out bipolar
didn't totally cover it.
786
00:41:50,933 --> 00:41:52,100
-Often,
the best we can do
787
00:41:52,100 --> 00:41:54,166
is put names to collections
of symptoms.
788
00:41:54,166 --> 00:41:56,033
It's possible bipolar
has more in common
789
00:41:56,033 --> 00:41:58,000
with schizophrenia
than depression.
790
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,366
-Yeah, when I was young,
my mother called me
791
00:41:59,366 --> 00:42:00,933
"high-spirited."
792
00:42:00,933 --> 00:42:02,933
She would know.
793
00:42:02,933 --> 00:42:04,766
She was so high-spirited,
they banned her from the PTA.
794
00:42:04,766 --> 00:42:07,000
-Sometimes, we have
a predisposition to illness,
795
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,866
but actual onset
is often triggered
796
00:42:08,866 --> 00:42:10,433
by some traumatic event.
797
00:42:11,566 --> 00:42:13,466
-Look, I never know what to say
when I have to go over all this.
798
00:42:13,466 --> 00:42:15,200
It starts to sounds
like some story
799
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,200
I tell about some other person
entirely.
800
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:22,900
-Why don't you tell me about the
last time you truly felt happy.
801
00:42:24,366 --> 00:42:26,966
Uh, were you happy
when you got married?
802
00:42:26,966 --> 00:42:28,700
-Yeah, I thought I was.
803
00:42:28,700 --> 00:42:30,366
-There's a difference
between being happy
804
00:42:30,366 --> 00:42:31,933
and just thinking
that you're happy?
805
00:42:31,933 --> 00:42:33,700
-Most people
who think they're happy
806
00:42:33,700 --> 00:42:36,266
just haven't thought about it
enough.
807
00:42:36,266 --> 00:42:38,300
Most people who think they're
happy are actually just stupid.
808
00:42:38,300 --> 00:42:40,200
-Ah. I see.
809
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,566
Uh, were you happy
when your son was born?
810
00:42:45,033 --> 00:42:47,100
♪♪
811
00:42:47,100 --> 00:42:48,333
-My son.
812
00:42:48,333 --> 00:42:50,366
-Tell me about him.
813
00:42:52,533 --> 00:42:54,300
-About my son?
814
00:42:54,300 --> 00:42:56,166
-Why is he still around?
815
00:42:56,166 --> 00:42:58,033
-Who is he?
816
00:42:58,033 --> 00:43:00,066
What is he?
817
00:43:00,066 --> 00:43:02,333
-♪ I am what you want me to be ♪
818
00:43:02,333 --> 00:43:05,400
♪ And I'm your worst fear,
you'll find it in me ♪
819
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,400
♪ Come closer ♪
820
00:43:08,300 --> 00:43:09,900
♪ Come closer ♪
821
00:43:09,900 --> 00:43:11,733
-Where does he come from,
do you think?
822
00:43:11,733 --> 00:43:14,333
-♪ I am more than memory ♪
823
00:43:14,333 --> 00:43:17,133
♪ I am what might be,
I am mystery ♪
824
00:43:17,133 --> 00:43:19,666
♪ You know me ♪
825
00:43:19,666 --> 00:43:22,766
♪ So show me ♪
826
00:43:22,766 --> 00:43:28,733
♪ When I appear,
it's not so clear ♪
827
00:43:28,733 --> 00:43:34,766
♪ If I'm a simple spirit
or I'm flesh and blood ♪
828
00:43:34,766 --> 00:43:38,033
♪ But I'm alive, I'm alive,
I am so alive ♪
829
00:43:38,033 --> 00:43:40,933
♪ And I feed on the fear
that's behind your eyes ♪
830
00:43:40,933 --> 00:43:44,066
♪ And I need you to need me,
it's no surprise ♪
831
00:43:44,066 --> 00:43:46,500
♪ I'm alive ♪
832
00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:49,933
♪ I'm so alive ♪
833
00:43:49,933 --> 00:43:51,766
♪ I'm alive ♪
834
00:43:51,766 --> 00:43:54,666
-Four times a week?
That's a lot, isn't it?
835
00:43:54,666 --> 00:43:57,066
-Um, it's what
the doctor recommended.
836
00:43:57,066 --> 00:44:00,300
-This is never going to get
better, is it?
837
00:44:00,300 --> 00:44:01,966
He's never going away.
838
00:44:01,966 --> 00:44:04,400
-I don't know, Natalie.
839
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:05,866
-You know,
this is one of those moments
840
00:44:05,866 --> 00:44:07,600
where you could just be
a typical parent and lie.
841
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:10,233
Say "yes."
-Yes.
842
00:44:10,233 --> 00:44:11,933
-Ah, thanks.
843
00:44:11,933 --> 00:44:13,900
That's comforting.
844
00:44:13,900 --> 00:44:16,633
-♪ I am flame and I am fire ♪
845
00:44:16,633 --> 00:44:19,766
♪ I am destruction,
decay, and desire ♪
846
00:44:19,766 --> 00:44:22,633
♪ I'll hurt you ♪
-You know, Natalie...
847
00:44:22,633 --> 00:44:23,966
-♪ I'll heal you ♪
848
00:44:23,966 --> 00:44:25,833
-...it's not all about
your comfort.
849
00:44:25,833 --> 00:44:28,433
-♪ I'm your wish,
your dream come true ♪
850
00:44:28,433 --> 00:44:31,133
♪ And I am your
darkest nightmare, too ♪
851
00:44:31,133 --> 00:44:32,933
♪ I've shown you ♪
852
00:44:32,933 --> 00:44:34,333
-It's about helping your mother.
853
00:44:34,333 --> 00:44:36,433
-♪ I own you ♪
854
00:44:36,433 --> 00:44:37,900
-As always.
855
00:44:37,900 --> 00:44:43,600
-♪ And though you made me,
you can't change me ♪
856
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:48,666
♪ I'm the perfect stranger,
who knows you too well ♪
857
00:44:48,666 --> 00:44:52,133
♪ And I'm alive, I'm alive,
I am so alive ♪
858
00:44:52,133 --> 00:44:55,100
♪ And I'll tell you the truth
if you let me try ♪
859
00:44:55,100 --> 00:45:00,466
♪ You're alive, I'm alive, and
I'll show you why I'm alive ♪
860
00:45:00,466 --> 00:45:03,433
♪ I'm so alive ♪
861
00:45:03,433 --> 00:45:06,066
♪ I'm alive ♪
862
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,466
-Risperdal.
863
00:45:09,466 --> 00:45:12,466
-♪ I'm alive ♪
864
00:45:12,466 --> 00:45:15,466
-Valium. Xanax.
865
00:45:15,466 --> 00:45:17,933
-♪ I'm alive ♪
866
00:45:18,766 --> 00:45:21,233
-What the heck?
867
00:45:21,233 --> 00:45:23,800
-♪ I'm alive ♪
868
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:27,366
♪ I'm right behind you ♪
869
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:32,866
♪ You say "forget,"
but I remind you ♪
870
00:45:33,433 --> 00:45:39,333
♪ You can try to hide,
you know that I will find you ♪
871
00:45:39,333 --> 00:45:42,833
♪ 'Cause if you
won't grieve me ♪
872
00:45:42,833 --> 00:45:48,233
♪ You won't leave me behind ♪
873
00:45:48,233 --> 00:45:51,333
♪ Ah, hoo ♪
874
00:45:51,333 --> 00:45:53,800
-Let's say he's 18 now.
Isn't that when kids move out?
875
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:56,300
Isn't it time to let him go?
876
00:45:56,300 --> 00:46:00,266
-♪ No, no, no, I'm alive,
I'm alive, I am so alive ♪
877
00:46:00,266 --> 00:46:03,433
♪ If you climb on my back,
then we both can fly ♪
878
00:46:03,433 --> 00:46:06,433
♪ If you try to deny me,
I'll never die ♪
879
00:46:06,433 --> 00:46:08,733
♪ I'm alive ♪
880
00:46:08,733 --> 00:46:11,700
♪ I'm so alive ♪
881
00:46:11,700 --> 00:46:14,766
♪ I'm alive ♪
882
00:46:14,766 --> 00:46:17,366
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
883
00:46:17,366 --> 00:46:20,366
♪ I'm alive ♪
884
00:46:21,033 --> 00:46:26,666
♪ I'm alive ♪
885
00:46:27,300 --> 00:46:35,100
♪ I'm alive ♪
886
00:46:35,100 --> 00:46:37,100
[ Cheers and applause ]
887
00:46:51,500 --> 00:46:56,900
-It's been four weeks, and I'd
like to try something new today.
888
00:46:56,900 --> 00:47:01,266
Sometimes, when
these stories are hard to tell,
889
00:47:01,266 --> 00:47:02,966
hypnosis can be helpful.
890
00:47:02,966 --> 00:47:05,033
-[ Laughs ]
-Oh I, uh...
891
00:47:05,033 --> 00:47:06,800
I don't think I
could be hypnotized.
892
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:08,666
I mean, it's fine.
I'm just not the type.
893
00:47:08,666 --> 00:47:11,300
-Uh-huh.
Put your feet on the floor.
894
00:47:11,300 --> 00:47:14,566
♪♪
895
00:47:14,566 --> 00:47:17,133
Your hands in your lap.
896
00:47:18,933 --> 00:47:21,400
Breathe.
897
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:24,366
-♪ Walk with me,
walk with me
898
00:47:24,366 --> 00:47:27,366
-Okay, I'm walking.
-♪ Go all the way down ♪
899
00:47:27,366 --> 00:47:28,866
♪ Down a long flight
of stairs ♪
900
00:47:28,866 --> 00:47:30,300
-Ooh, stairs!
901
00:47:30,300 --> 00:47:34,133
♪ Go step by step
into the darkness down there ♪
902
00:47:34,133 --> 00:47:37,600
-Should we turn on a light?
You know, for the stairs?
903
00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:39,333
-[ Laughs ]
904
00:47:39,333 --> 00:47:43,333
-♪ Walk with me down a hall ♪
905
00:47:43,333 --> 00:47:45,166
♪ A hall that you know ♪
906
00:47:45,166 --> 00:47:47,400
♪ At the end,
there's a door ♪
907
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:53,200
♪ It's a door that you've
never laid eyes on before ♪
908
00:47:53,200 --> 00:48:05,666
♪ Open the door ♪
909
00:48:07,566 --> 00:48:11,233
Can you hear me, Diana?
-Yes.
910
00:48:14,733 --> 00:48:17,033
-Are you nervous?
911
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,166
-No.
912
00:48:20,166 --> 00:48:21,833
-Good.
913
00:48:24,133 --> 00:48:26,000
Now...
914
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:30,366
♪ Make up your mind to explore
yourself ♪
915
00:48:30,366 --> 00:48:34,166
♪ Make up your mind,
you have stories to tell ♪
916
00:48:34,166 --> 00:48:38,166
♪ We'll search in your past
for what sorrows may last ♪
917
00:48:38,166 --> 00:48:42,633
♪ Then make up your mind
to be well ♪
918
00:48:42,633 --> 00:48:46,933
-Di, you come home
from these sessions in tears.
919
00:48:46,933 --> 00:48:49,833
Is this helping, or...
920
00:48:49,833 --> 00:48:51,600
Di?
921
00:48:53,100 --> 00:48:56,400
Di...
-We were both undergrads.
922
00:48:56,400 --> 00:49:00,233
Architecture.
The baby wasn't planned.
923
00:49:01,500 --> 00:49:02,800
Neither was the marriage.
924
00:49:04,166 --> 00:49:06,600
I'd always expected
to be too busy,
925
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:12,733
but when the baby came,
it all seemed to make sense.
926
00:49:12,733 --> 00:49:13,733
Until...
927
00:49:16,766 --> 00:49:18,566
Until...
928
00:49:18,566 --> 00:49:20,500
-Until?
929
00:49:20,500 --> 00:49:22,366
-♪ He's not here ♪
930
00:49:22,366 --> 00:49:25,233
♪ He's not here ♪
931
00:49:25,233 --> 00:49:28,100
♪ Love, I know you know ♪
932
00:49:28,100 --> 00:49:30,966
-♪ Make up your mind
that you're strong enough ♪
933
00:49:30,966 --> 00:49:34,733
♪ Make up your mind,
let the truth be revealed ♪
934
00:49:34,733 --> 00:49:38,833
♪ Admit what you've lost
and live with the cost ♪
935
00:49:38,833 --> 00:49:42,266
♪ At times,
it does hurt to be healed ♪
936
00:49:42,266 --> 00:49:43,533
-♪ Catch me, I'm falling ♪
937
00:49:43,533 --> 00:49:45,666
-In our first session,
you told me...
938
00:49:45,666 --> 00:49:47,033
-♪ Catch me, I'm falling ♪
939
00:49:47,033 --> 00:49:48,466
-...that talking
through your history...
940
00:49:48,466 --> 00:49:51,800
-♪ Faster than anyone should ♪
941
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:53,566
-♪ Catch me, I'm falling ♪
942
00:49:53,566 --> 00:49:55,266
-...it feels
like it's about someone else.
943
00:49:55,266 --> 00:49:56,700
-♪ Please hear me calling ♪
944
00:49:56,700 --> 00:49:58,433
-Make it about you.
945
00:49:58,433 --> 00:50:02,700
-♪ Catch me,
I'm falling for good ♪
946
00:50:02,700 --> 00:50:04,566
-[ Sniffles ]
947
00:50:04,566 --> 00:50:06,333
-Hey.
-Hey.
948
00:50:06,333 --> 00:50:10,433
-I'm not supposed
to be backstage, but, uh...
949
00:50:10,433 --> 00:50:12,300
For luck.
950
00:50:12,300 --> 00:50:14,600
-Uh, did you see
my parents out there?
951
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:16,433
-Are you okay?
-Yeah.
952
00:50:16,433 --> 00:50:19,000
Yeah, I'm fine.
My dad said they'd both be here.
953
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:20,633
-Okay, well,
I'm sure they will be.
954
00:50:20,633 --> 00:50:22,133
-Will they?
955
00:50:23,266 --> 00:50:25,633
-We had Natalie to re...
956
00:50:30,100 --> 00:50:32,000
And I know she knows.
957
00:50:33,766 --> 00:50:38,133
I couldn't hold her
in the hospital.
958
00:50:38,133 --> 00:50:40,433
-Well, where are they?
959
00:50:40,433 --> 00:50:43,400
-I couldn't let myself hold her.
960
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:44,900
-That's the first time
961
00:50:44,900 --> 00:50:47,700
you've mentioned Natalie
in weeks of therapy.
962
00:50:47,700 --> 00:50:49,566
-You gotta be kidding me.
963
00:50:49,566 --> 00:50:52,300
♪ She's not there ♪
964
00:50:52,300 --> 00:50:55,733
-♪ She's not there ♪
965
00:50:55,733 --> 00:50:58,433
♪ She's not there ♪
966
00:50:59,100 --> 00:51:03,066
-♪ Make up your mind,
you want clarity ♪
967
00:51:03,066 --> 00:51:06,966
♪ Take what you know
and then make it make sense ♪
968
00:51:06,966 --> 00:51:10,900
♪ Just face what you fear,
and soon, it comes clear ♪
969
00:51:10,900 --> 00:51:15,000
♪ The visions are just
your defense ♪
970
00:51:16,266 --> 00:51:18,133
-Thank you for coming.
971
00:51:19,366 --> 00:51:20,533
Natalie Goodman.
972
00:51:23,533 --> 00:51:26,066
[ Piano plays ]
973
00:51:26,066 --> 00:51:27,500
[ Playing stops ]
974
00:51:27,500 --> 00:51:29,666
-Let's try to understand what
all of this is doing to you
975
00:51:29,666 --> 00:51:31,533
and to your family.
976
00:51:34,066 --> 00:51:37,000
[ Plays bad notes, smacks keys ]
-Ugh!
977
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:39,233
-Your grief for your son.
978
00:51:39,233 --> 00:51:41,500
Your distance from Natalie.
979
00:51:42,866 --> 00:51:47,866
-Sorry.
Sorry, it's just, um...
980
00:51:50,433 --> 00:51:53,866
You know what the problem
with classical is?
981
00:51:53,866 --> 00:51:56,333
It's so rigid
982
00:51:56,333 --> 00:51:58,566
and -- and structured.
983
00:51:58,566 --> 00:52:00,600
You have to play the notes
on the page.
984
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:02,833
There's no room
for improvisation.
985
00:52:02,833 --> 00:52:03,866
-Oh, no.
986
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:06,400
-♪ Catch me, I'm falling ♪
987
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:08,966
-♪ Make up your mind,
you can live at last ♪
988
00:52:08,966 --> 00:52:10,266
-♪ Take a look ♪
989
00:52:10,266 --> 00:52:13,400
-♪ Make up your mind
to be fully alive ♪
990
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,766
♪ Embrace what's inside ♪
991
00:52:15,766 --> 00:52:17,500
♪ Replace what has died ♪
992
00:52:17,500 --> 00:52:23,466
♪ And make up your mind
you'll survive ♪
993
00:52:23,466 --> 00:52:25,466
-♪ Catch me, I'm falling
994
00:52:25,466 --> 00:52:27,166
-Unresolved
loss can lead to depression.
995
00:52:27,166 --> 00:52:28,466
-♪ Catch me, I'm falling ♪
996
00:52:28,466 --> 00:52:30,600
-Fear of loss to anxiety.
997
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:33,866
-♪ Flying headfirst into fate ♪
998
00:52:33,866 --> 00:52:35,400
♪ Catch me, I'm falling ♪
999
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:37,400
-The more you hold on
to something you've lost...
1000
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:39,766
-♪ Please hear me calling ♪
-...the more you fear losing it.
1001
00:52:39,766 --> 00:52:41,366
-♪ Catch me before
it's too late ♪
1002
00:52:41,366 --> 00:52:43,233
-Depression, anxiety.
1003
00:52:43,233 --> 00:52:44,533
-♪ Catch me before
it's too late ♪
1004
00:52:44,533 --> 00:52:46,700
-Depression, anxiety,
one gives rise to the other.
1005
00:52:46,700 --> 00:52:47,733
-♪ Catch me before it's
too late ♪
1006
00:52:47,733 --> 00:52:49,466
-It becomes a cycle.
1007
00:52:49,466 --> 00:52:51,633
-♪ Catch me, I'm falling ♪
1008
00:52:51,633 --> 00:52:53,866
♪ Catch me, I'm falling ♪
1009
00:52:53,866 --> 00:52:56,333
♪ Catch me,
I'm falling ♪
1010
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:01,500
-Wouldn't you like to be free
from all of that, finally?
1011
00:53:02,566 --> 00:53:05,533
Wouldn't you like to go home,
clear out his things,
1012
00:53:05,533 --> 00:53:07,833
maybe spend some time
with your daughter,
1013
00:53:07,833 --> 00:53:12,966
and let your son go at last?
1014
00:53:12,966 --> 00:53:14,833
-Uh, should we go?
1015
00:53:16,966 --> 00:53:19,433
-Yes.
-Yes.
1016
00:53:19,433 --> 00:53:21,033
-Mom?
1017
00:53:21,033 --> 00:53:22,633
-Yes, I would.
1018
00:53:22,633 --> 00:53:24,600
-[ Crying ]
1019
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:54,666
♪♪
1020
00:53:54,666 --> 00:53:57,300
-This, um...
1021
00:53:57,300 --> 00:54:01,166
This is good, Di.
This is a good step.
1022
00:54:01,166 --> 00:54:11,066
♪♪
1023
00:54:15,966 --> 00:54:18,866
-Okay.
[ Sniffles ]
1024
00:55:01,300 --> 00:55:03,700
[ Whimpers ]
1025
00:55:03,700 --> 00:55:06,000
[ Crying ]
My baby.
1026
00:55:37,433 --> 00:55:45,600
♪♪
1027
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:47,600
[ Humming ]
1028
00:55:53,766 --> 00:56:01,700
♪ I saw you light
the ballroom ♪
1029
00:56:01,700 --> 00:56:07,300
♪ With your
sparkling eyes of blue ♪
1030
00:56:10,066 --> 00:56:15,400
♪ Graceful as an
angel's wing ♪
1031
00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:20,233
♪ I dreamed
a dance with you ♪
1032
00:56:20,233 --> 00:56:26,000
♪♪
1033
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:30,500
♪ You whispered slyly,
softly ♪
1034
00:56:32,166 --> 00:56:37,700
♪ You told me
you would be true ♪
1035
00:56:37,700 --> 00:56:42,000
♪ We spun
around a thousand stars ♪
1036
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:46,900
♪ I dreamed a dance with you ♪
1037
00:56:46,900 --> 00:56:51,366
♪♪
1038
00:56:51,366 --> 00:56:57,133
♪ I know the night is dying,
dear ♪
1039
00:56:57,133 --> 00:57:02,700
♪ I know the day will dawn ♪
1040
00:57:02,700 --> 00:57:06,466
-♪ The dancers may disappear ♪
1041
00:57:06,466 --> 00:57:12,600
♪ Still, the dance goes on ♪
1042
00:57:15,533 --> 00:57:20,266
-♪ And on ♪
1043
00:57:23,833 --> 00:57:28,433
-♪ I'll wake alone tomorrow ♪
1044
00:57:31,100 --> 00:57:36,166
♪ The dream of our dance
is through ♪
1045
00:57:38,566 --> 00:57:43,166
♪ But now until forever, love ♪
1046
00:57:43,166 --> 00:57:47,500
♪ I'll live to dance with you ♪
1047
00:57:51,466 --> 00:57:54,666
♪ I'll dream my love ♪
1048
00:57:54,666 --> 00:57:57,700
♪ I'll live my love ♪
1049
00:57:57,700 --> 00:58:03,800
♪ And I'll die to dance with ♪
1050
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:12,600
♪♪
1051
00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:17,533
-♪ There's a world ♪
1052
00:58:17,533 --> 00:58:20,866
♪ There's a world I know ♪
1053
00:58:20,866 --> 00:58:24,666
♪ A place we can go ♪
1054
00:58:24,666 --> 00:58:31,066
♪ Where the pain will go away ♪
1055
00:58:32,533 --> 00:58:41,633
♪ There's a world
where the sun shines each day ♪
1056
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:50,233
♪ There's a world ♪
1057
00:58:50,233 --> 00:58:53,000
♪ There's a world out there ♪
1058
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:56,466
♪ I'll show you just where ♪
1059
00:58:56,466 --> 00:59:02,466
♪ And in time,
I know you'll see ♪
1060
00:59:02,466 --> 00:59:10,033
♪ There's a world
where we ♪
1061
00:59:10,033 --> 00:59:17,633
♪ Can be free ♪
1062
00:59:22,766 --> 00:59:27,566
♪ Come with me ♪
1063
00:59:27,566 --> 00:59:29,466
-Goodman, Diana.
1064
00:59:29,466 --> 00:59:33,100
-♪ Come with me ♪
1065
00:59:33,100 --> 00:59:36,433
-Discovered unconscious
at home.
1066
00:59:36,433 --> 00:59:42,400
-♪ There's a world
where we can be free ♪
1067
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:44,900
-Multiple razor wounds
to wrists and forearms,
1068
00:59:44,900 --> 00:59:46,800
self-inflicted.
1069
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:52,833
-♪ Come with me ♪
1070
00:59:52,833 --> 00:59:57,500
-Saline rinse, sutures, gauze,
I.V., antibiotics,
1071
00:59:57,500 --> 00:59:59,600
isolated, sedated,
and restrained.
1072
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:01,033
Damn it!
1073
01:00:02,766 --> 01:00:04,466
ECT is indicated.
1074
01:00:06,633 --> 01:00:09,500
-Wow! Um...
1075
01:00:10,466 --> 01:00:11,833
I mean, they still do that?
1076
01:00:11,833 --> 01:00:13,200
-We do, yes.
1077
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:15,066
It's the standard
in cases like this.
1078
01:00:15,066 --> 01:00:17,166
She's got a long history
of drug-therapy resistance,
1079
01:00:17,166 --> 01:00:18,533
and she's acutely suicidal.
1080
01:00:18,533 --> 01:00:20,000
It's really our best option.
1081
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:21,933
-It's kind of terrifying.
-It's not.
1082
01:00:21,933 --> 01:00:24,033
The electricity involved
is barely enough
1083
01:00:24,033 --> 01:00:25,933
to light a 100-watt bulb.
1084
01:00:25,933 --> 01:00:28,233
-Oh, well, if it's
just a 100-watt bulb...
1085
01:00:28,233 --> 01:00:30,066
-It's safer than crossing
the street,
1086
01:00:30,066 --> 01:00:33,133
and the short-term success
rate is over 80%.
1087
01:00:34,366 --> 01:00:36,433
-I thought she was better.
1088
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:40,200
-Sometimes, patients regain
just enough strength
1089
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:42,233
to follow through
on suicidal impulses,
1090
01:00:42,233 --> 01:00:44,966
but not enough to resist them.
1091
01:00:46,500 --> 01:00:49,666
-Well,
that seems very messed up.
1092
01:00:49,666 --> 01:00:51,300
-Yes.
1093
01:00:51,300 --> 01:00:53,300
Legally, we need her consent,
1094
01:00:53,300 --> 01:00:55,533
and hospital policy says
we need yours, too.
1095
01:00:55,533 --> 01:00:57,266
-I don't think
she's gonna go for this.
1096
01:00:57,266 --> 01:00:58,966
-Mr. Goodman,
I can administer the ECT
1097
01:00:58,966 --> 01:01:01,033
and you can take her home
in three weeks,
1098
01:01:01,033 --> 01:01:03,866
or I can keep her sedated
for another 48 hours,
1099
01:01:03,866 --> 01:01:07,700
discharge her,
and wait for her to try again.
1100
01:01:09,666 --> 01:01:13,033
Go home, take the night.
1101
01:01:16,533 --> 01:01:19,033
We'll talk to her
in the morning.
1102
01:01:21,266 --> 01:01:31,300
♪♪
1103
01:01:31,300 --> 01:01:33,533
-♪ Standing in this room ♪
1104
01:01:33,533 --> 01:01:36,400
♪ Well, I wonder
what comes now ♪
1105
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:38,733
♪ I know I have to help her ♪
1106
01:01:38,733 --> 01:01:41,433
♪ But hell if I know how ♪
1107
01:01:41,433 --> 01:01:44,100
♪ And all the times
that I've been told ♪
1108
01:01:44,100 --> 01:01:46,466
♪ The way her illness goes ♪
1109
01:01:46,466 --> 01:01:50,233
♪ The truth of it is,
no one really knows ♪
1110
01:01:51,633 --> 01:01:56,766
♪ And every day, this act we act
gets more and more absurd ♪
1111
01:01:56,766 --> 01:01:59,266
♪ And all my fears
just sit inside me,
1112
01:01:59,266 --> 01:02:01,200
screaming to be heard ♪
1113
01:02:01,933 --> 01:02:06,600
♪ I know they won't,
though, not a single word ♪
1114
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:09,400
♪ I was here, at her side ♪
1115
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:12,600
♪ When she called,
when she cried ♪
1116
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:16,366
♪ How could she leave me
on my own? ♪
1117
01:02:16,366 --> 01:02:19,433
♪ Will it work, this cure? ♪
1118
01:02:19,433 --> 01:02:24,666
♪ There's no way to be sure ♪
1119
01:02:24,666 --> 01:02:27,133
♪ But I'm weary to the bone ♪
1120
01:02:27,133 --> 01:02:29,733
♪ And whenever she goes flying ♪
1121
01:02:31,566 --> 01:02:35,166
♪ I keep my feet
right on the ground ♪
1122
01:02:36,766 --> 01:02:44,766
♪ Oh, now I need a lift,
and there's no one around ♪
1123
01:02:49,233 --> 01:02:52,033
♪ Hey ♪
1124
01:02:52,033 --> 01:02:57,433
-♪ Hey, oh ♪
1125
01:02:57,433 --> 01:03:02,933
-♪ Oh, ooh ♪
-♪ Oh, ooh ♪
1126
01:03:02,933 --> 01:03:06,733
-♪ You know ♪
1127
01:03:06,733 --> 01:03:11,966
♪ And I've never had to face the
world without her at my side ♪
1128
01:03:11,966 --> 01:03:14,400
♪ Now I'm
strolling right beside her
1129
01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:17,066
as the black hole opens wide ♪
1130
01:03:17,066 --> 01:03:21,800
♪ Mine is just
a slower suicide ♪
1131
01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:27,233
♪♪
1132
01:03:27,233 --> 01:03:31,666
♪ I've been here for the show ♪
1133
01:03:31,666 --> 01:03:35,900
♪ Every high, every low ♪
1134
01:03:35,900 --> 01:03:39,033
♪ But it's the worst we've
ever known ♪
1135
01:03:40,800 --> 01:03:44,266
♪ She's been hurt,
and how ♪
1136
01:03:44,266 --> 01:03:52,633
♪ But I can't give up now ♪
1137
01:03:52,633 --> 01:03:54,800
♪ 'Cause I've never been alone ♪
1138
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:59,100
♪♪
1139
01:03:59,100 --> 01:04:01,533
♪ I could never be alone ♪
1140
01:04:01,533 --> 01:04:10,833
♪♪
1141
01:04:10,833 --> 01:04:12,400
-Why didn't you
take me with you?
1142
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:13,433
-Don't see a lot of you
these days.
1143
01:04:13,433 --> 01:04:16,266
This Henry a good influence?
1144
01:04:16,266 --> 01:04:19,066
-Like, compared to what?
1145
01:04:22,066 --> 01:04:24,333
-Okay, that's fair.
1146
01:04:24,333 --> 01:04:25,566
♪♪
1147
01:04:25,566 --> 01:04:27,366
The aftereffects are minimal.
1148
01:04:27,366 --> 01:04:29,100
You'll feel like you have
a bit of a hangover.
1149
01:04:29,100 --> 01:04:32,700
-Mom? Mom!
Please don't let them do this.
1150
01:04:32,700 --> 01:04:34,466
It causes brain damage.
1151
01:04:34,466 --> 01:04:37,366
-Your mother's in
for a new treatment, ECT.
1152
01:04:37,366 --> 01:04:40,200
-Okay.
L-M-N-O-P. What is that?
1153
01:04:40,200 --> 01:04:42,933
-Electroconvulsive therapy.
Shock therapy.
1154
01:04:42,933 --> 01:04:46,433
-A minority of patients
have reported some memory loss,
1155
01:04:46,433 --> 01:04:48,166
but it's usually
not much memory.
1156
01:04:48,166 --> 01:04:52,300
-How do you know how much memory
you've lost if you've lost it?
1157
01:04:52,300 --> 01:04:54,700
-You're kidding, right?
1158
01:04:54,700 --> 01:04:57,266
Dad, that's bull!
-Language!
1159
01:04:57,266 --> 01:05:00,166
-Patients have said it's
like becoming a new person.
1160
01:05:00,166 --> 01:05:03,366
-It's bull! She trusts you!
-Oh, Natalie!
1161
01:05:03,366 --> 01:05:08,200
-♪ Didn't I see this movie
with McMurphy and the nurse? ♪
1162
01:05:08,200 --> 01:05:14,266
♪ That hospital was heavy, but
this cuckoo's nest is worse ♪
1163
01:05:14,266 --> 01:05:19,533
♪ Isn't this the one where, in
the end, the good guys fry?
1164
01:05:19,533 --> 01:05:24,333
♪ Didn't I see this movie
and didn't I cry? ♪
1165
01:05:24,333 --> 01:05:26,733
♪ Didn't I cry? ♪
1166
01:05:26,733 --> 01:05:29,500
-The modern procedure
is clean and simple.
1167
01:05:29,500 --> 01:05:32,866
Hundreds of thousands of
patients receive it every year.
1168
01:05:32,866 --> 01:05:37,966
-♪ What makes you think
I'd lose my mind for you? ♪
1169
01:05:37,966 --> 01:05:43,666
♪ I'm no sociopath,
I'm no Sylvia Plath ♪
1170
01:05:43,666 --> 01:05:48,866
♪ I ain't no Frances Farmer
kind of find for you ♪
1171
01:05:48,866 --> 01:05:51,866
♪ So stay out of my brain ♪
1172
01:05:51,866 --> 01:05:55,100
♪ I'm no princess of pain ♪
1173
01:05:55,100 --> 01:05:59,200
♪ Didn't I see this movie with
a doctor dressed like you? ♪
1174
01:05:59,200 --> 01:06:03,366
♪ Where the patient got
impatient and said,
1175
01:06:03,366 --> 01:06:05,966
"Sorry, Doc, I'm through"? ♪
1176
01:06:05,966 --> 01:06:11,300
♪ I know where this is going
and I know what you're about ♪
1177
01:06:11,300 --> 01:06:15,933
♪ 'Cause I have seen this movie
and I walked out ♪
1178
01:06:15,933 --> 01:06:19,066
♪ I walked out ♪
1179
01:06:19,066 --> 01:06:24,466
♪ I'm walking ♪
1180
01:06:24,466 --> 01:06:36,600
♪♪
1181
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:42,300
-♪ One light
shines in the drive ♪
1182
01:06:42,300 --> 01:06:47,533
♪ One single sign
that our house is alive ♪
1183
01:06:47,533 --> 01:06:50,333
♪ Our house ♪
1184
01:06:50,333 --> 01:06:53,033
♪ Our own ♪
1185
01:06:53,033 --> 01:06:56,866
♪ So why do I
live there alone? ♪
1186
01:06:58,200 --> 01:07:03,333
♪ Tell me why I wait
through the night ♪
1187
01:07:03,333 --> 01:07:08,500
♪ And why do I
leave on the light? ♪
1188
01:07:08,500 --> 01:07:11,800
♪ You know ♪
1189
01:07:11,800 --> 01:07:14,400
♪ I know ♪
1190
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:19,333
♪ Our house
was a home long ago ♪
1191
01:07:21,766 --> 01:07:24,700
♪ Take this chance ♪
1192
01:07:24,700 --> 01:07:29,233
♪ 'Cause it may be
our last to be free ♪
1193
01:07:29,233 --> 01:07:31,966
♪ To let go of the past ♪
1194
01:07:31,966 --> 01:07:36,366
♪ And to try to be
husband and wife ♪
1195
01:07:36,366 --> 01:07:39,000
♪ To let love never die ♪
1196
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:40,800
♪ Or to just live our life ♪
1197
01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:43,566
♪ Take my hand ♪
1198
01:07:43,566 --> 01:07:45,966
♪ And let me take your heart ♪
1199
01:07:45,966 --> 01:07:50,533
♪ Keep it far from
what keeps us apart ♪
1200
01:07:50,533 --> 01:07:52,466
♪ Let us start ♪
1201
01:07:54,233 --> 01:07:59,833
♪ With a light in the dark ♪
1202
01:07:59,833 --> 01:08:03,366
♪ Night falls,
I stare at the walls ♪
1203
01:08:03,366 --> 01:08:04,700
-♪ I stare at these walls ♪
1204
01:08:04,700 --> 01:08:07,633
-♪ I wake and wander the halls ♪
1205
01:08:07,633 --> 01:08:09,100
-♪ I get lost in these halls ♪
1206
01:08:09,100 --> 01:08:11,233
-♪ And I ache to the bone ♪
1207
01:08:11,233 --> 01:08:13,966
-♪ It's like nothing
I've known ♪
1208
01:08:13,966 --> 01:08:19,600
-♪ I can't get
through this alone ♪
1209
01:08:23,633 --> 01:08:26,800
- ♪ Take this chance ♪
1210
01:08:26,800 --> 01:08:29,500
♪ And we'll make a new start ♪
1211
01:08:29,500 --> 01:08:34,466
♪ Somewhere far
from what keeps us apart ♪
1212
01:08:34,466 --> 01:08:38,600
♪ And I swear
that somewhere in the night ♪
1213
01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:44,200
♪ There's a light ♪
1214
01:08:58,133 --> 01:09:03,200
♪ A light in the dark ♪
1215
01:09:03,200 --> 01:09:18,133
♪♪
1216
01:09:18,133 --> 01:09:20,133
[ Cheers and applause ]
1217
01:09:26,466 --> 01:09:58,366
♪♪
1218
01:09:58,366 --> 01:10:00,600
-Come on, this is my favorite
club. Let's go.
1219
01:10:00,600 --> 01:10:03,700
-Isn't three clubs a little much
for a Tuesday night?
1220
01:10:03,700 --> 01:10:05,400
Wednesday morning.
1221
01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:06,700
-Come on, they're playing
my favorite song.
1222
01:10:06,700 --> 01:10:08,866
-They're all your favorite song.
What are you on?
1223
01:10:08,866 --> 01:10:13,200
-Uh, Adderall.
And Xanax. And Valium.
1224
01:10:13,200 --> 01:10:14,766
And Robitussin.
1225
01:10:14,766 --> 01:10:16,400
-Since when did you become
a bad influence on me?
1226
01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:18,733
-Hey, I'm under stress.
1227
01:10:18,733 --> 01:10:20,666
My mom's in a hospital,
being electrocuted.
1228
01:10:20,666 --> 01:10:22,866
-Good morning, Diana.
It's good to see you again.
1229
01:10:22,866 --> 01:10:24,633
-Seriously, she gets it like
1230
01:10:24,633 --> 01:10:27,133
every other day
for the next three weeks.
1231
01:10:27,133 --> 01:10:28,666
I can't even deal.
1232
01:10:28,666 --> 01:10:31,166
I'd never let them mess
with my brain like that.
1233
01:10:31,166 --> 01:10:33,300
No, you're strictly
a do-it-yourselfer.
1234
01:10:33,300 --> 01:10:35,500
-I see you've met
our anesthesiologist.
1235
01:10:35,500 --> 01:10:37,966
Now, just relax,
breathe normally,
1236
01:10:37,966 --> 01:10:40,666
count backwards from 100,
and before you reach zero,
1237
01:10:40,666 --> 01:10:42,433
you should be asleep.
1238
01:10:42,433 --> 01:10:44,700
When you wake up, you
may feel some muscle stiffness,
1239
01:10:44,700 --> 01:10:46,100
disorientation.
1240
01:10:46,100 --> 01:10:47,633
Don't worry.
It's completely normal.
1241
01:10:48,633 --> 01:10:50,200
Diana?
1242
01:10:50,200 --> 01:10:53,933
Diana?
Ah, good.
1243
01:10:53,933 --> 01:10:58,800
♪♪
1244
01:10:58,800 --> 01:11:01,466
-♪ In an instant,
lightning flashes ♪
1245
01:11:01,466 --> 01:11:04,066
♪ And the burst
might leave me blind ♪
1246
01:11:06,233 --> 01:11:08,833
♪ When the bolt of lightning
crashes ♪
1247
01:11:08,833 --> 01:11:13,533
♪ And it burns right
through my mind ♪
1248
01:11:13,533 --> 01:11:16,200
♪ It's like someone
drained my brain out ♪
1249
01:11:16,200 --> 01:11:19,066
♪ Set my frozen mind to thaw ♪
1250
01:11:21,233 --> 01:11:23,733
♪ Let the lethargy
and pain out ♪
1251
01:11:23,733 --> 01:11:28,400
♪ While I stood
and watched in awe ♪
1252
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:32,633
♪ I am riding on the
brightest buzz ♪
1253
01:11:32,633 --> 01:11:36,233
♪ I am worlds away
from who I was ♪
1254
01:11:36,233 --> 01:11:38,800
♪ And they told me
it would change me ♪
1255
01:11:38,800 --> 01:11:40,533
♪ Though they don't know
how it does ♪
1256
01:11:40,533 --> 01:11:43,600
-♪ Though they don't know
how it does ♪
1257
01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:46,800
-♪ I have lived a life of clouds
and gray,
1258
01:11:46,800 --> 01:11:48,333
but this is crystal-clear ♪
1259
01:11:48,333 --> 01:11:50,900
♪ Wish I were here ♪
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
1260
01:11:50,900 --> 01:11:55,433
-♪ I imagine it's remarkable,
exuberant, austere ♪
1261
01:11:55,433 --> 01:11:57,000
♪ Wish I were here ♪
1262
01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:59,333
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
1263
01:11:59,333 --> 01:12:01,300
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
1264
01:12:01,300 --> 01:12:03,766
-♪ It's euphoria, it's anger ♪
1265
01:12:03,766 --> 01:12:05,566
♪ It's the winter wind,
it's fire ♪
1266
01:12:05,566 --> 01:12:08,766
-♪ It's the winter wind,
it's fire ♪
1267
01:12:08,766 --> 01:12:11,133
-♪ And it kills
my deepest hunger
1268
01:12:11,133 --> 01:12:15,900
as it fills me with desire ♪
1269
01:12:15,900 --> 01:12:18,433
♪ I'm the light and heat
of every sun ♪
1270
01:12:18,433 --> 01:12:20,000
-♪ I'm the light and heat
of every sun ♪
1271
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:21,833
-♪ I'm a bullet from
a magic gun ♪
1272
01:12:21,833 --> 01:12:24,000
-♪ I'm a bullet
from a magic gun ♪
1273
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:26,300
-♪ And I'm trying to enjoy it ♪
1274
01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:31,166
-♪ But I'm missing all the fun ♪
-♪ I am missing all the fun ♪
1275
01:12:31,166 --> 01:12:33,866
-♪ Am I feeling what
I think I'm feeling? ♪
1276
01:12:33,866 --> 01:12:35,766
♪ The hope, the heat, the fear ♪
1277
01:12:35,766 --> 01:12:38,566
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
1278
01:12:38,566 --> 01:12:41,533
-♪ Is this someone else's
head trip? ♪
1279
01:12:41,533 --> 01:12:43,500
♪ Do I just disappear? ♪
1280
01:12:43,500 --> 01:12:45,900
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
1281
01:12:45,900 --> 01:12:48,966
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
-♪ Wish I were ♪
1282
01:12:48,966 --> 01:12:51,100
♪ Here ♪
-Natalie.
1283
01:12:51,100 --> 01:12:53,800
What are you doing
in my electricity?
1284
01:12:53,800 --> 01:12:56,400
-It's always all about you,
isn't it?
1285
01:12:56,400 --> 01:12:59,300
I'm robo-trippin'.
I can't feel my legs.
1286
01:12:59,300 --> 01:13:01,600
-I don't want you doing drugs.
1287
01:13:01,600 --> 01:13:06,000
-Well, that's persuasive, coming
from Pfizer's Woman of the Year.
1288
01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:07,833
You're the one
who's hallucinating.
1289
01:13:07,833 --> 01:13:10,400
-It's my treatment.
1290
01:13:10,400 --> 01:13:13,133
It's a miracle.
1291
01:13:13,133 --> 01:13:15,100
Everything is different now.
1292
01:13:15,100 --> 01:13:16,766
-I know what you mean.
1293
01:13:18,233 --> 01:13:22,300
-♪ Plug me in and turn me on ♪
1294
01:13:22,300 --> 01:13:26,866
♪ And flip the switch,
I'm good as gone ♪
1295
01:13:26,866 --> 01:13:31,333
♪ It slips my skin
and trips my brain ♪
1296
01:13:31,333 --> 01:13:38,033
♪ I feel the burn,
but I don't feel the pain ♪
1297
01:13:38,033 --> 01:13:40,866
♪ Is my brain reborn
or is it wrecked? ♪
1298
01:13:40,866 --> 01:13:42,866
♪ In freedom or in fear? ♪
1299
01:13:42,866 --> 01:13:45,433
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
1300
01:13:45,433 --> 01:13:48,366
-♪ Have I blown
my mind forever? ♪
1301
01:13:48,366 --> 01:13:50,133
♪ Is cloudy my new clear?
1302
01:13:50,133 --> 01:13:52,833
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
1303
01:13:52,833 --> 01:13:57,233
-♪ Wish I were here ♪
-♪ Wish I were ♪
1304
01:13:57,233 --> 01:13:59,866
-Natalie!
Natalie, come on!
1305
01:14:02,200 --> 01:14:04,033
This is the fifth night in a row
1306
01:14:04,033 --> 01:14:06,133
I've had to come and
find you at some random club.
1307
01:14:06,133 --> 01:14:08,766
-Diana?
1308
01:14:08,766 --> 01:14:10,566
-Dan.
1309
01:14:10,566 --> 01:14:14,633
-Three weeks are up.
It's time to go home.
1310
01:14:14,633 --> 01:14:16,700
-Home? But, I --
-No, don't -- don't talk.
1311
01:14:16,700 --> 01:14:18,700
Just relax.
1312
01:14:21,866 --> 01:14:24,733
-Okay, you can go.
1313
01:14:24,733 --> 01:14:27,333
I'm like 70% less messed up now.
1314
01:14:28,400 --> 01:14:31,166
Seriously, my dad's
gonna be home any minute.
1315
01:14:31,166 --> 01:14:32,800
He's bringing my mom back
from the hospital.
1316
01:14:32,800 --> 01:14:34,133
You don't wanna be here.
1317
01:14:34,133 --> 01:14:36,500
-Will you call me?
-Just go!
1318
01:14:42,433 --> 01:14:46,766
♪ Can I hide my stupid hunger? ♪
1319
01:14:46,766 --> 01:14:51,166
♪ Fake some confidence
and cheer? ♪
1320
01:14:51,166 --> 01:14:55,600
♪ Wish I were here ♪
1321
01:14:57,433 --> 01:15:04,000
♪ Wish I were here ♪
1322
01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:08,733
♪♪
1323
01:15:08,733 --> 01:15:10,766
-We're here.
-Hey.
1324
01:15:12,200 --> 01:15:14,766
Wow!
You look great.
1325
01:15:14,766 --> 01:15:17,466
-Oh, well, thank you.
1326
01:15:19,033 --> 01:15:20,066
And who are you?
1327
01:15:22,133 --> 01:15:25,233
-Who am I?
-Diana, this is Natalie.
1328
01:15:27,466 --> 01:15:28,733
-Your daughter.
1329
01:15:29,800 --> 01:15:33,100
-Oh. Of course.
1330
01:15:34,766 --> 01:15:37,133
And this is our house?
1331
01:15:38,300 --> 01:15:40,100
-Diana, don't you...
1332
01:15:40,100 --> 01:15:42,700
♪♪
1333
01:15:42,700 --> 01:15:46,933
Um, you
don't remember any of this?
1334
01:15:46,933 --> 01:15:48,933
-I should, right?
1335
01:15:48,933 --> 01:15:52,533
-♪ This house
and all these rooms ♪
1336
01:15:52,533 --> 01:15:56,966
♪ Last Christmas or last year ♪
1337
01:15:56,966 --> 01:16:01,000
♪ Out back,
the dogwood blooms ♪
1338
01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:05,166
-♪ Do I really live here? ♪
1339
01:16:05,166 --> 01:16:07,833
-♪ The paint, the walls ♪
1340
01:16:07,833 --> 01:16:10,833
♪ All this glass and wood ♪
1341
01:16:10,833 --> 01:16:13,466
♪ You don't recall? ♪
1342
01:16:13,466 --> 01:16:16,000
-♪ How I wish I could ♪
1343
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:20,033
-♪ Our house on Walton Way ♪
1344
01:16:20,033 --> 01:16:23,700
♪ The house with the red door?
1345
01:16:25,033 --> 01:16:28,566
♪ Our trip to St. Tropez ♪
1346
01:16:28,566 --> 01:16:32,366
♪ The whole week a downpour? ♪
1347
01:16:32,366 --> 01:16:35,100
-♪ My first few steps ♪
1348
01:16:35,100 --> 01:16:37,866
♪ And my first lost tooth ♪
1349
01:16:37,866 --> 01:16:40,633
♪ What, nothing yet? ♪
1350
01:16:40,633 --> 01:16:43,100
-♪ To tell the truth ♪
1351
01:16:43,100 --> 01:16:48,633
-♪ Sing a song of forgetting ♪
1352
01:16:48,633 --> 01:16:53,066
♪ A song of the way
things were not ♪
1353
01:16:53,066 --> 01:16:56,633
♪ Sing of what's lost to you ♪
1354
01:16:58,333 --> 01:17:04,866
♪ Of times that you never knew ♪
1355
01:17:04,866 --> 01:17:09,866
♪ Sing of not
remembering when ♪
1356
01:17:09,866 --> 01:17:15,366
♪ Of memories that go
unremembered, and then ♪
1357
01:17:15,366 --> 01:17:23,833
♪ Sing a song
of forgetting again ♪
1358
01:17:23,833 --> 01:17:27,000
♪ That day our child was born ♪
1359
01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:30,866
♪ Our baby girl's first cry ♪
1360
01:17:31,833 --> 01:17:35,233
♪ That gray and drizzly morn ♪
1361
01:17:35,233 --> 01:17:39,000
♪ I've never felt so high ♪
1362
01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:41,433
-♪ The day we met ♪
1363
01:17:41,433 --> 01:17:43,933
♪ And we shared two beers ♪
1364
01:17:43,933 --> 01:17:45,633
-♪ Then? ♪
1365
01:17:45,633 --> 01:17:50,500
♪ I forget ♪
-♪ That's nineteen years ♪
1366
01:17:50,500 --> 01:17:55,600
-Well, Dr. Mitchell did say
there may be some memory loss.
1367
01:17:55,600 --> 01:17:57,733
-It's Dr. Madden.
1368
01:17:57,733 --> 01:17:59,300
-Well, see?
There you go.
1369
01:18:00,700 --> 01:18:02,666
-♪ What a lovely cure ♪
1370
01:18:02,666 --> 01:18:05,200
♪ It's a medical miracle ♪
1371
01:18:05,200 --> 01:18:07,933
♪ With a mind so pure ♪
1372
01:18:07,933 --> 01:18:10,200
♪ That she doesn't
know anything ♪
1373
01:18:10,200 --> 01:18:12,366
-♪ It's there, I'm sure ♪
1374
01:18:12,366 --> 01:18:15,200
♪ 'Cause memories don't die ♪
1375
01:18:15,200 --> 01:18:18,533
-♪ Why? ♪
1376
01:18:18,533 --> 01:18:20,466
-♪ They don't die ♪
-♪ They die ♪
1377
01:18:20,466 --> 01:18:23,866
-♪ I'll try ♪
1378
01:18:24,766 --> 01:18:29,700
-♪ Sing a song of forgetting ♪
1379
01:18:29,700 --> 01:18:34,000
-♪ A song of the way
things were not ♪
1380
01:18:34,000 --> 01:18:37,166
-♪ Sing of what's lost to you ♪
-♪ What's lost to you ♪
1381
01:18:37,166 --> 01:18:38,900
♪ What's lost to you ♪
1382
01:18:38,900 --> 01:18:40,300
-♪ Of times
that you never knew ♪
1383
01:18:40,300 --> 01:18:42,833
-♪ What's lost to you ♪
1384
01:18:42,833 --> 01:18:45,866
♪ You never knew ♪
1385
01:18:45,866 --> 01:18:50,700
-♪ Sing of not
remembering when ♪
1386
01:18:50,700 --> 01:18:56,800
♪ Of memories that go
unremembered, and then ♪
1387
01:18:56,800 --> 01:19:02,700
-♪ Sing a song of forgetting ♪
-♪ Sing a song of forgetting ♪
1388
01:19:02,700 --> 01:19:08,733
-♪ Sing a song of forgetting ♪
1389
01:19:08,733 --> 01:19:13,400
-♪ Again ♪
1390
01:19:13,400 --> 01:19:17,433
[ Bell rings ]
1391
01:19:17,433 --> 01:19:21,100
♪♪
1392
01:19:21,100 --> 01:19:24,733
-♪ Hey ♪
-♪ Hey ♪
1393
01:19:24,733 --> 01:19:27,266
-♪ I've missed you these days ♪
1394
01:19:29,100 --> 01:19:32,766
♪ I thought you might call ♪
1395
01:19:32,766 --> 01:19:34,366
♪ It's been weeks ♪
1396
01:19:34,366 --> 01:19:38,533
-♪ I've been crazed ♪
1397
01:19:38,533 --> 01:19:40,200
♪ Hey ♪
1398
01:19:40,200 --> 01:19:44,266
♪ Have you been
on the scene? ♪
1399
01:19:44,266 --> 01:19:47,600
♪ 'Cause you look like a mess ♪
1400
01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:49,266
-♪ Thanks, I guess ♪
1401
01:19:49,266 --> 01:19:51,733
-♪ Are you clean? ♪
1402
01:19:51,733 --> 01:19:53,566
-♪ Wow! Coming from you! ♪
1403
01:19:53,566 --> 01:19:55,533
-♪ I don't do what you do ♪
1404
01:19:55,533 --> 01:19:57,466
-♪ Okay, how did it start? ♪
1405
01:19:57,466 --> 01:19:59,266
-♪ But you took it too far ♪
1406
01:19:59,266 --> 01:20:02,100
-♪ Oh, I took it too far? ♪
-♪ Hey, hey ♪
1407
01:20:02,100 --> 01:20:03,633
-♪ Henry, don't,
don't do this to me ♪
1408
01:20:03,633 --> 01:20:08,433
-♪ Are we over?
♪ Don't say that we're over ♪
1409
01:20:08,433 --> 01:20:09,733
-♪ Don't you want us to be? ♪
1410
01:20:09,733 --> 01:20:13,433
-♪ No, I want who I knew ♪
1411
01:20:13,433 --> 01:20:18,166
♪ She's somewhere in you ♪
1412
01:20:20,300 --> 01:20:24,066
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Say ♪
1413
01:20:24,066 --> 01:20:27,400
♪ Will you come
to this dance? ♪
1414
01:20:27,400 --> 01:20:31,000
♪ It's some spring
formal dance ♪
1415
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:35,266
♪ It's May 1st,
and it's cheese ♪
1416
01:20:35,266 --> 01:20:38,766
♪ But it's fun
and it's free ♪
1417
01:20:38,766 --> 01:20:41,300
-♪ I don't do dances ♪
1418
01:20:41,300 --> 01:20:47,266
-♪ Do this dance with me ♪
1419
01:20:47,266 --> 01:20:54,300
-♪ Goodbye, Henry ♪
1420
01:20:54,300 --> 01:20:57,133
-Natalie...
Natalie, wait up. Hey...
1421
01:20:57,133 --> 01:21:00,400
-This much loss is rare,
but it has been reported.
1422
01:21:00,400 --> 01:21:02,200
It may be partly psychogenic.
1423
01:21:02,200 --> 01:21:04,033
At times like this,
the mind tends to
1424
01:21:04,033 --> 01:21:05,033
repress troubling memories.
1425
01:21:05,033 --> 01:21:06,766
But they're still there,
somewhere.
1426
01:21:06,766 --> 01:21:08,500
They tend to return
in fits and starts.
1427
01:21:08,500 --> 01:21:10,200
It's been two weeks.
1428
01:21:10,200 --> 01:21:13,100
-♪ A little loss of memory
is normal ♪
1429
01:21:13,100 --> 01:21:15,600
♪ And helpful
in forgetting all her fears ♪
1430
01:21:15,600 --> 01:21:19,666
-♪ I couldn't give
a flying fig what's normal ♪
1431
01:21:19,666 --> 01:21:22,166
♪ We haven't had a "normal"
day in years ♪
1432
01:21:22,166 --> 01:21:25,666
-♪ Diana, are things becoming
clearer with the treatment? ♪
1433
01:21:25,666 --> 01:21:27,100
-Yes.
1434
01:21:27,100 --> 01:21:28,633
-♪ Is life less cloudy
than it was before? ♪
1435
01:21:28,633 --> 01:21:30,166
-Well, yes.
1436
01:21:30,166 --> 01:21:32,266
♪ Do you still feel your
head is filled with concrete? ♪
1437
01:21:32,266 --> 01:21:33,800
-No.
1438
01:21:35,533 --> 01:21:38,833
♪ And you're
not a scary rock star anymore ♪
1439
01:21:40,200 --> 01:21:43,266
Okay, great.
[ Laughs ]
1440
01:21:43,266 --> 01:21:45,633
-What about her memory?
1441
01:21:45,633 --> 01:21:48,900
-♪ The memories are there,
somewhere ♪
1442
01:21:48,900 --> 01:21:51,800
♪ Find some pictures
you can share ♪
1443
01:21:51,800 --> 01:21:57,666
♪ Keepsakes of the life
that's there behind her ♪
1444
01:21:57,666 --> 01:22:00,666
-Do I bring up the subject of --
-Yes.
1445
01:22:00,666 --> 01:22:03,666
♪ But keep it light at first,
that's best ♪
1446
01:22:03,666 --> 01:22:06,533
♪ Careful
that she's not distressed ♪
1447
01:22:06,533 --> 01:22:09,166
♪ When the time is right,
tell the rest ♪
1448
01:22:09,166 --> 01:22:12,533
♪ Remind her ♪
1449
01:22:12,533 --> 01:22:16,100
♪ You'll find her ♪
1450
01:22:16,100 --> 01:22:20,666
♪♪
1451
01:22:20,666 --> 01:22:23,200
♪ So, let's start with
something small ♪
1452
01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:26,666
♪ Something personal
and pretty ♪
1453
01:22:26,666 --> 01:22:29,633
♪ I bet you'll know
these shiny things ♪
1454
01:22:30,466 --> 01:22:33,300
-Um...they must be
tacky trinkets
1455
01:22:33,300 --> 01:22:35,333
from, I guess, Atlantic City?
1456
01:22:35,333 --> 01:22:40,000
-♪ No. Actually, Di,
they're our wedding rings ♪
1457
01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:41,500
-It's going well.
1458
01:22:41,500 --> 01:22:43,900
-♪ Here's a flower
from our wedding ♪
1459
01:22:43,900 --> 01:22:46,866
♪ It was such a sight to see ♪
1460
01:22:46,866 --> 01:22:50,100
♪ With the ceremony
everything we'd hoped ♪
1461
01:22:50,100 --> 01:22:51,433
-Uh, Dad?
1462
01:22:51,433 --> 01:22:54,100
-♪ Well, that's
how I remember it ♪
1463
01:22:54,100 --> 01:22:56,266
♪ So, that's how it'll be ♪
1464
01:22:56,266 --> 01:23:00,666
-♪ It was raining,
it was Portland, you eloped ♪
1465
01:23:00,666 --> 01:23:02,766
I mean, Portland?
1466
01:23:02,766 --> 01:23:05,666
-♪ It's an open book
to write here ♪
1467
01:23:05,666 --> 01:23:08,100
♪ It's a life we can restore ♪
1468
01:23:08,100 --> 01:23:13,500
♪ We can get back what we had
and maybe more ♪
1469
01:23:13,500 --> 01:23:17,366
♪ Maybe get us back to
better than before ♪
1470
01:23:19,333 --> 01:23:23,366
-Uh, you're missing
a few pictures here, Dad.
1471
01:23:23,366 --> 01:23:24,833
Didn't the doctor say --
1472
01:23:24,833 --> 01:23:25,933
-The doctor said
at the right time.
1473
01:23:25,933 --> 01:23:27,666
-Oh.
Well, then...
1474
01:23:27,666 --> 01:23:30,600
-♪ Here's the year
we drove the West ♪
1475
01:23:30,600 --> 01:23:33,966
♪ We hit the highway
in the Honda ♪
1476
01:23:33,966 --> 01:23:37,233
♪ And I took pictures
everywhere we went ♪
1477
01:23:38,666 --> 01:23:42,133
♪ We saw the Painted Desert,
the Grand Canyon,
1478
01:23:42,133 --> 01:23:43,800
and Aunt Rhonda ♪
1479
01:23:43,800 --> 01:23:47,200
♪ And Nat learned what
her middle finger meant ♪
1480
01:23:48,333 --> 01:23:50,666
♪ Here's the first house
that we owned ♪
1481
01:23:50,666 --> 01:23:53,566
♪ On Walton Way,
we loved that place ♪
1482
01:23:53,566 --> 01:23:57,233
♪ Then we built this one on land
that we both chose ♪
1483
01:23:58,633 --> 01:24:04,033
♪ And here's a pic of all of us
with smiles on every face ♪
1484
01:24:04,033 --> 01:24:07,866
♪ And the photoshopping
hardly even shows ♪
1485
01:24:09,400 --> 01:24:14,666
-♪ We're standing by a lake,
with all these ducks ♪
1486
01:24:14,666 --> 01:24:17,500
♪ And who's
this little, chubby girl? ♪
1487
01:24:17,500 --> 01:24:19,633
-♪ That's Natalie ♪
-♪ This stinks ♪
1488
01:24:19,633 --> 01:24:22,233
Hey, Nat! Nat!
1489
01:24:22,233 --> 01:24:24,700
♪ Gonna get us back to normal ♪
1490
01:24:24,700 --> 01:24:27,200
♪ Gonna get us back to good ♪
1491
01:24:27,200 --> 01:24:30,800
♪ Gonna get back what we had
and maybe more ♪
1492
01:24:32,533 --> 01:24:35,000
♪ We'll remember
all the good times
1493
01:24:35,000 --> 01:24:37,533
and forget the things we should
1494
01:24:37,533 --> 01:24:41,033
♪ Gonna get us back
to better than before ♪
1495
01:24:42,500 --> 01:24:46,133
♪ We can get things back
to better than before ♪
1496
01:24:46,133 --> 01:24:48,233
-Alright.
1497
01:24:48,233 --> 01:24:49,800
Fine.
1498
01:24:51,066 --> 01:24:54,066
♪ Here's the headline
in the paper ♪
1499
01:24:54,066 --> 01:24:56,833
♪ When you freaked out
at the market ♪
1500
01:24:56,833 --> 01:25:00,566
♪ Here's the house on Walton Way
after the fire ♪
1501
01:25:00,566 --> 01:25:01,866
-Natalie!
1502
01:25:01,866 --> 01:25:04,333
-♪ Here's the damage
to the Honda ♪
1503
01:25:04,333 --> 01:25:07,133
♪ When you showed me
how to park it ♪
1504
01:25:07,133 --> 01:25:11,333
-♪ Did we crush somebody's
cat beneath the tire? ♪
1505
01:25:11,333 --> 01:25:14,833
-Yes. Ours.
1506
01:25:16,133 --> 01:25:18,766
♪ Here's Dad at my recital ♪
1507
01:25:18,766 --> 01:25:21,866
♪ And we're wondering
where you are ♪
1508
01:25:21,866 --> 01:25:25,600
-♪ I remember this,
I made it to the school ♪
1509
01:25:25,600 --> 01:25:27,533
-Wait, you remember?
1510
01:25:27,533 --> 01:25:29,700
♪ It was the year
of too much lithium ♪
1511
01:25:29,700 --> 01:25:32,033
♪ I hid out in the car ♪
-Yes.
1512
01:25:32,033 --> 01:25:34,700
-♪ And your swim meet
just last year ♪
1513
01:25:34,700 --> 01:25:37,900
♪ I'm in the pool ♪
-So you are.
1514
01:25:37,900 --> 01:25:39,600
♪ You're getting it! ♪
1515
01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:43,033
♪ You've got it,
Di, hooray! ♪
1516
01:25:43,033 --> 01:25:45,966
-♪ Your life has kind of stunk,
I think ♪
1517
01:25:45,966 --> 01:25:47,966
-♪ You've got it,
yay, hooray ♪
1518
01:25:47,966 --> 01:25:50,966
-♪ Hooray! ♪
-♪ Hooray! ♪
1519
01:25:50,966 --> 01:25:53,233
-♪ Gonna get back
what I lost there ♪
1520
01:25:53,233 --> 01:25:55,833
♪ Gonna find out who I was ♪
1521
01:25:55,833 --> 01:26:00,833
♪ Gonna open up the gates
and let it pour ♪
1522
01:26:00,833 --> 01:26:03,433
♪ And if memory
makes things better,
1523
01:26:03,433 --> 01:26:05,766
well, memory always does ♪
1524
01:26:05,766 --> 01:26:10,866
♪ Gonna get us back
to better than before ♪
1525
01:26:10,866 --> 01:26:13,500
-♪ Make everything
much better than before ♪
1526
01:26:13,500 --> 01:26:15,200
-♪ Won't anything
be better than before? ♪
1527
01:26:15,200 --> 01:26:16,533
-♪ Better than before ♪
1528
01:26:16,533 --> 01:26:17,700
-♪ I guess it must be better
than before ♪
1529
01:26:17,700 --> 01:26:20,833
-♪ Better than before ♪
1530
01:26:20,833 --> 01:26:28,400
♪ Better than before ♪
1531
01:26:28,400 --> 01:26:32,600
♪♪
1532
01:26:32,600 --> 01:26:34,600
-♪ They've managed
to get rid of me,
1533
01:26:34,600 --> 01:26:36,700
return me to the grave ♪
1534
01:26:36,700 --> 01:26:40,866
♪ ECT, electric chair,
we shock who we can't save ♪
1535
01:26:40,866 --> 01:26:43,066
♪ They've cleared you
of my memory,
1536
01:26:43,066 --> 01:26:44,966
and many more, as well ♪
1537
01:26:44,966 --> 01:26:48,933
♪ You may have wanted some of
them, but who can ever tell? ♪
1538
01:26:48,933 --> 01:26:51,333
♪ Your brainwaves
are more regular,
1539
01:26:51,333 --> 01:26:53,500
the chemistry more pure ♪
1540
01:26:53,500 --> 01:26:57,733
♪ The headaches and the nausea
will pass, and you'll endure ♪
1541
01:26:57,733 --> 01:27:00,566
♪ Your son is
gone forever, though,
1542
01:27:00,566 --> 01:27:04,666
of that the doctor's sure ♪
1543
01:27:05,433 --> 01:27:11,000
♪ The memories will wane ♪
1544
01:27:11,000 --> 01:27:16,466
♪ The aftershocks remain ♪
1545
01:27:17,833 --> 01:27:21,000
♪ You wonder which is worse ♪
1546
01:27:21,000 --> 01:27:28,900
♪ The symptom or the cure ♪
1547
01:27:28,900 --> 01:27:33,000
-Di, honey,
you've been at this for days.
1548
01:27:33,000 --> 01:27:37,033
-Something is missing, Dan.
It's like it's tugging at me.
1549
01:27:37,033 --> 01:27:38,400
I can almost see it.
-Come to bed.
1550
01:27:38,400 --> 01:27:42,700
If -- If the memories are meant
to come back, they will.
1551
01:27:47,366 --> 01:27:50,166
-Oh.
Hi, Ms. Goodman.
1552
01:27:51,366 --> 01:27:55,666
I just needed to talk to Natalie
about some homework.
1553
01:27:55,666 --> 01:27:57,766
I know it's late.
Um...
1554
01:27:57,766 --> 01:27:59,600
She's not been answering
her phone, and I thought --
1555
01:27:59,600 --> 01:28:01,066
Is everything okay?
1556
01:28:01,066 --> 01:28:04,466
-Henry?
-Yes.
1557
01:28:05,766 --> 01:28:08,700
-God, you remind me of someone.
1558
01:28:08,700 --> 01:28:10,566
How old are you?
1559
01:28:10,566 --> 01:28:12,666
-Uh, 17.
1560
01:28:12,666 --> 01:28:14,566
Why?
1561
01:28:14,566 --> 01:28:16,533
-I don't know.
1562
01:28:17,400 --> 01:28:19,833
Uh, Natalie's in her room.
-Thank you.
1563
01:28:19,833 --> 01:28:23,566
♪♪
1564
01:28:23,566 --> 01:28:25,866
-♪ They've managed
to get rid of me,
1565
01:28:25,866 --> 01:28:27,966
I'm gone without a trace ♪
1566
01:28:27,966 --> 01:28:30,100
♪ But sear the soul
and leave a scar
1567
01:28:30,100 --> 01:28:32,100
no treatment can erase ♪
1568
01:28:32,100 --> 01:28:35,766
♪ They cut away the cancer
but forgot to fill the hole ♪
1569
01:28:35,766 --> 01:28:38,200
♪ They moved me
from your memory,
1570
01:28:38,200 --> 01:28:40,333
I'm still there in your soul ♪
1571
01:28:40,333 --> 01:28:42,366
♪ Your life goes
back to normal now
1572
01:28:42,366 --> 01:28:44,500
or so they all believe ♪
1573
01:28:44,500 --> 01:28:46,733
♪ Your heart is
in your chest again,
1574
01:28:46,733 --> 01:28:48,800
not hanging from your sleeve ♪
1575
01:28:48,800 --> 01:28:51,233
♪ They've driven out the demons
1576
01:28:51,233 --> 01:28:56,400
and they've earned you
this reprieve ♪
1577
01:28:56,400 --> 01:29:00,733
♪ The memories are gone ♪
1578
01:29:03,200 --> 01:29:08,433
♪ The aftershocks live on ♪
1579
01:29:10,433 --> 01:29:14,333
♪ But with nothing to remember ♪
1580
01:29:14,333 --> 01:29:23,833
♪ Is there nothing left
to grieve? ♪
1581
01:29:23,833 --> 01:29:29,600
-♪ With nothing to remember ♪
1582
01:29:29,600 --> 01:29:32,033
♪♪
1583
01:29:32,033 --> 01:29:35,466
-♪ Hey ♪
-♪ Hey ♪
1584
01:29:35,466 --> 01:29:39,300
-♪ So, tomorrow's the dance ♪
1585
01:29:39,300 --> 01:29:42,666
♪ It's annoying, I know ♪
1586
01:29:42,666 --> 01:29:44,966
♪ But let's go ♪
1587
01:29:44,966 --> 01:29:46,433
-♪ Not a chance ♪
1588
01:29:46,433 --> 01:29:48,666
-♪ Let me know you again ♪
1589
01:29:48,666 --> 01:29:50,900
-♪ Not right now ♪
-♪ Okay, when? ♪
1590
01:29:50,900 --> 01:29:54,233
♪ Say "wait," and I'll wait ♪
-♪ It's already too late ♪
1591
01:29:54,233 --> 01:29:56,233
-♪ There's no way
it's too late ♪
1592
01:29:56,233 --> 01:29:57,833
-♪ There's no way ♪
-♪ Hey ♪
1593
01:29:57,833 --> 01:30:00,766
-♪ I stayed by your side ♪
-♪ Will you listen? ♪
1594
01:30:00,766 --> 01:30:05,200
-♪ Just shut up and listen ♪
-♪ Why do I get denied? ♪
1595
01:30:05,200 --> 01:30:08,566
-♪ You remind me of me ♪
1596
01:30:08,566 --> 01:30:13,666
♪ And how messed up I can be ♪
1597
01:30:15,733 --> 01:30:17,566
♪ Okay ♪
1598
01:30:17,566 --> 01:30:19,100
♪ Hey ♪
1599
01:30:19,100 --> 01:30:22,800
♪ Let's start over,
clean slate ♪
1600
01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:25,500
♪ I'll come by here at eight ♪
1601
01:30:26,666 --> 01:30:30,333
♪ If you show, then we'll go ♪
1602
01:30:30,333 --> 01:30:33,933
♪ And if you don't,
well, we'll see ♪
1603
01:30:33,933 --> 01:30:36,600
-♪ You just don't give up ♪
1604
01:30:36,600 --> 01:30:43,166
-♪ So don't give up on me ♪
1605
01:30:44,633 --> 01:30:53,700
-♪ Goodbye, Henry ♪
1606
01:30:53,700 --> 01:30:57,500
♪♪
1607
01:30:57,500 --> 01:30:59,900
-♪ It's been
four weeks since the treatment,
1608
01:30:59,900 --> 01:31:02,200
and my mind is still a mess ♪
1609
01:31:02,200 --> 01:31:04,333
♪ And what's left
to be remembered,
1610
01:31:04,333 --> 01:31:06,733
well, it's anybody's guess ♪
1611
01:31:06,733 --> 01:31:09,066
♪ 'Cause my past is
like the weather ♪
1612
01:31:09,066 --> 01:31:11,200
♪ It will come and it will go ♪
1613
01:31:11,200 --> 01:31:15,966
♪ I don't know, even know,
what it is that I don't know ♪
1614
01:31:15,966 --> 01:31:20,266
♪ I'm some Christopher Columbus,
sailing out into my mind ♪
1615
01:31:20,266 --> 01:31:24,800
♪ With no map of where I'm going
or of what I've left behind ♪
1616
01:31:24,800 --> 01:31:26,966
♪ I don't know ♪
1617
01:31:26,966 --> 01:31:29,200
♪ The things I don't know ♪
1618
01:31:29,200 --> 01:31:33,500
♪ I'm sure something's missing,
and I wish it would show ♪
1619
01:31:33,500 --> 01:31:36,300
♪ I don't know ♪
1620
01:31:36,300 --> 01:31:39,433
♪ You say take it slow,
and I do ♪
1621
01:31:39,433 --> 01:31:47,566
♪ Although, how I do,
I don't know ♪
1622
01:31:47,566 --> 01:31:49,733
-♪ Are you talking with
your husband? ♪
1623
01:31:49,733 --> 01:31:51,933
-♪ Well, he hasn't much to say ♪
1624
01:31:51,933 --> 01:31:54,100
-♪ Is it helping you remember? ♪
1625
01:31:54,100 --> 01:31:56,433
-♪ I remember that's his way ♪
1626
01:31:56,433 --> 01:32:00,766
-♪ Does the puzzle come together
piece by piece and row by row? ♪
1627
01:32:00,766 --> 01:32:05,433
-♪ I don't know, I don't know
where the stupid pieces go ♪
1628
01:32:05,433 --> 01:32:08,100
♪ 'Cause I don't know
how this started ♪
1629
01:32:08,100 --> 01:32:10,200
♪ So I won't know
when it's done ♪
1630
01:32:10,200 --> 01:32:12,266
-♪ Have you talked of
your depression,
1631
01:32:12,266 --> 01:32:14,800
your delusions, and your son? ♪
1632
01:32:16,400 --> 01:32:17,600
My what?
1633
01:32:20,066 --> 01:32:22,233
-Your husband didn't...
1634
01:32:22,233 --> 01:32:24,966
Mm! I think you
two should talk more.
1635
01:32:26,066 --> 01:32:28,800
-We should talk more?
That's it?
1636
01:32:28,800 --> 01:32:31,166
I don't even remember
marrying this man!
1637
01:32:31,166 --> 01:32:33,166
It's not like I'm some
sexually frustrated soccer mom.
1638
01:32:33,166 --> 01:32:35,766
-Interestingly, the underlying
challenges are similar,
1639
01:32:35,766 --> 01:32:38,266
but, uh...
1640
01:32:38,266 --> 01:32:39,766
I'll see you next week.
-But Doctor, I --
1641
01:32:39,766 --> 01:32:42,066
-Next week.
1642
01:32:43,533 --> 01:33:07,733
♪♪
1643
01:33:07,733 --> 01:33:09,766
-[ Sighs ]
1644
01:33:09,766 --> 01:33:27,133
♪♪
1645
01:33:36,166 --> 01:33:44,400
♪♪
1646
01:33:44,400 --> 01:33:46,400
-[ Humming ]
1647
01:33:46,400 --> 01:34:03,733
♪♪
1648
01:34:03,733 --> 01:34:05,233
-What are you doing?
1649
01:34:06,866 --> 01:34:10,433
-What is this?
-Hey, where'd you get that?
1650
01:34:10,433 --> 01:34:12,433
Um, it's, uh...
1651
01:34:13,333 --> 01:34:14,933
It's nothing.
It's, uh...
1652
01:34:14,933 --> 01:34:16,800
It's just an old music box.
1653
01:34:21,900 --> 01:34:24,333
-We used to play it
for the baby.
1654
01:34:26,800 --> 01:34:29,366
Sometimes,
it helped him sleep.
1655
01:34:30,466 --> 01:34:32,733
-Diana...
-Him!
1656
01:34:34,766 --> 01:34:37,400
We did have a boy.
1657
01:34:37,400 --> 01:34:40,166
-Diana, you shouldn't.
1658
01:34:40,166 --> 01:34:44,066
-♪ We were still
living downtown ♪
1659
01:34:44,066 --> 01:34:45,633
-It's not a good idea.
1660
01:34:45,633 --> 01:34:50,900
-♪ My black coat thrown
over my blue nightgown ♪
1661
01:34:50,900 --> 01:34:53,766
♪ You drove too fast ♪
1662
01:34:53,766 --> 01:34:58,033
♪ The lights of the city
flew past ♪
1663
01:34:59,133 --> 01:35:01,200
-Please don't.
1664
01:35:01,200 --> 01:35:05,166
-♪ How could I ever forget? ♪
1665
01:35:05,166 --> 01:35:09,666
♪ Outside, the morning
was cool and wet ♪
1666
01:35:09,666 --> 01:35:12,033
♪ He had such chills ♪
1667
01:35:12,033 --> 01:35:15,766
♪ But still,
he lay there so still ♪
1668
01:35:17,633 --> 01:35:20,633
♪ And just eight months old ♪
1669
01:35:23,900 --> 01:35:27,300
♪ So cold ♪
1670
01:35:30,433 --> 01:35:33,033
♪ We ran him inside ♪
1671
01:35:34,566 --> 01:35:38,933
♪ Lost, worrying, wondering ♪
1672
01:35:40,600 --> 01:35:46,633
♪ That hospital room ♪
1673
01:35:46,633 --> 01:35:52,866
♪ That gloom ♪
1674
01:35:52,866 --> 01:35:55,466
♪ How could I ever forget? ♪
1675
01:35:55,466 --> 01:35:57,400
-♪ How could I ever forget? ♪
1676
01:35:57,400 --> 01:35:58,800
-♪ Screaming at doctors,
alarmed, upset ♪
1677
01:35:58,800 --> 01:36:01,833
-♪ God, I was so upset ♪
1678
01:36:01,833 --> 01:36:03,933
-♪ They said to wait ♪
-♪ Diana, don't ♪
1679
01:36:03,933 --> 01:36:05,366
-♪ They never
said we were too late ♪
1680
01:36:05,366 --> 01:36:09,033
-♪ You think this will help,
but it won't ♪
1681
01:36:09,033 --> 01:36:13,600
-♪ But I was a child ♪
-♪ So many years ago ♪
1682
01:36:13,600 --> 01:36:17,466
-♪ Raising a child ♪
-♪ So much we could not know ♪
1683
01:36:17,466 --> 01:36:20,566
-♪ Those weeks full of joy ♪
1684
01:36:20,566 --> 01:36:24,466
♪ Then a moment of dread ♪
1685
01:36:26,033 --> 01:36:28,933
♪ Someone simply said ♪
1686
01:36:31,200 --> 01:36:36,466
♪ "Your child is..." ♪
1687
01:36:36,466 --> 01:36:41,366
-♪ How could I ever forget? ♪
-♪ How could I ever forget? ♪
1688
01:36:41,366 --> 01:36:46,600
-♪ This was the moment
my life was set ♪
1689
01:36:46,600 --> 01:36:50,633
♪ The day that I lost you ♪
1690
01:36:52,200 --> 01:36:59,133
♪ It's clear as the day we met ♪
1691
01:37:01,433 --> 01:37:08,033
♪ How could I ever
1692
01:37:08,033 --> 01:37:13,733
forget? ♪
1693
01:37:14,800 --> 01:37:18,100
-Why would you want to remember
the things that hurt you?
1694
01:37:20,300 --> 01:37:23,266
-I want to remember everything,
Dan.
1695
01:37:29,500 --> 01:37:31,200
How did he die?
1696
01:37:33,300 --> 01:37:34,633
-He was sick.
1697
01:37:34,633 --> 01:37:37,233
-With what?
1698
01:37:37,233 --> 01:37:39,333
Why wasn't he treated?
What was wrong?
1699
01:37:41,400 --> 01:37:45,100
-♪ Something the doctors
all missed ♪
1700
01:37:46,200 --> 01:37:50,800
♪ The clinic, the E.R.,
each specialist ♪
1701
01:37:50,800 --> 01:37:53,700
♪ They said, "Babies cry ♪
1702
01:37:53,700 --> 01:37:57,066
♪ Allergies, gas,
who knows why?"
1703
01:37:58,700 --> 01:38:02,933
♪ And I was a child ♪
1704
01:38:04,066 --> 01:38:07,966
♪ Raising a child ♪
1705
01:38:11,066 --> 01:38:12,700
♪ We stayed up all night ♪
1706
01:38:14,833 --> 01:38:17,700
♪ Most nights,
you slept at his side ♪
1707
01:38:17,700 --> 01:38:21,066
-Oh, God.
1708
01:38:21,066 --> 01:38:23,866
-♪ But still, he just cried ♪
1709
01:38:26,766 --> 01:38:29,800
♪ And cried ♪
1710
01:38:31,933 --> 01:38:35,466
-He was a baby when he died,
but I remember him older.
1711
01:38:37,100 --> 01:38:39,466
-No, he was a baby.
Um...
1712
01:38:40,200 --> 01:38:41,733
We should call Dr. Madden.
1713
01:38:41,733 --> 01:38:43,400
-Why would we call Dr. Madden?
1714
01:38:43,400 --> 01:38:45,700
I'm just -- I'm trying to
make sense of this.
1715
01:38:46,766 --> 01:38:49,566
Wait.
What was his name?
1716
01:38:51,133 --> 01:38:52,866
I don't remember you
ever saying his name.
1717
01:38:52,866 --> 01:38:56,200
Why is that?
-Diana, um...
1718
01:38:56,200 --> 01:38:59,000
-What was his name?
Tell me.
1719
01:38:59,000 --> 01:39:01,400
-♪ It's gonna be fine,
it's gonna be fine ♪
1720
01:39:01,400 --> 01:39:02,533
♪ Gonna go back to the doctor
1721
01:39:02,533 --> 01:39:03,533
'cause we caught it
just in time ♪
1722
01:39:03,533 --> 01:39:04,733
-His name!
1723
01:39:04,733 --> 01:39:06,366
♪ We'll take the pills
and pay the bills,
1724
01:39:06,366 --> 01:39:07,966
we'll do more ECT ♪
-Our son.
1725
01:39:07,966 --> 01:39:09,166
-♪ It's gonna be good,
you'll see ♪
1726
01:39:09,166 --> 01:39:10,433
-What was his name?
1727
01:39:10,433 --> 01:39:11,900
-♪ It's gonna be good,
you'll see ♪
1728
01:39:11,900 --> 01:39:13,500
-What was his name?!
1729
01:39:13,500 --> 01:39:14,733
-♪ It's gonna be good... ♪
1730
01:39:14,733 --> 01:39:16,233
-♪ What was his name,
what was his name,
1731
01:39:16,233 --> 01:39:17,633
what was his, what was his,
what was his, what was his ♪
1732
01:39:17,633 --> 01:39:19,200
♪ Name, name, name, name, name,
name, name, name ♪
1733
01:39:19,200 --> 01:39:21,066
♪ What was his name,
what was his name? ♪
1734
01:39:21,066 --> 01:39:22,066
-No!
1735
01:39:22,066 --> 01:39:23,700
-Dad!
-Natalie!
1736
01:39:23,700 --> 01:39:25,700
-[ Crying ]
1737
01:39:48,766 --> 01:39:50,466
♪ Why stay? ♪
1738
01:39:52,133 --> 01:39:53,900
♪ Why stay? ♪
1739
01:39:55,166 --> 01:39:58,100
♪ So steadfast and stolid ♪
1740
01:39:58,100 --> 01:40:00,833
♪ And stoic and solid ♪
1741
01:40:00,833 --> 01:40:04,633
♪ For day after every day ♪
1742
01:40:04,633 --> 01:40:06,633
♪ Why stay? ♪
1743
01:40:07,166 --> 01:40:09,433
♪ Why stay? ♪
1744
01:40:09,433 --> 01:40:12,433
♪ Why not simply give in
and get on with livin' ♪
1745
01:40:12,433 --> 01:40:14,733
♪ 'Cause everyone
knows you tried ♪
1746
01:40:14,733 --> 01:40:19,266
♪ But somehow,
something died on the way ♪
1747
01:40:19,266 --> 01:40:21,066
♪ So tell me why you stay ♪
1748
01:40:21,066 --> 01:40:23,333
-♪ Why stay, why stay? ♪
1749
01:40:23,333 --> 01:40:25,466
♪ Enduring and coping
and hurting and hoping
1750
01:40:25,466 --> 01:40:27,666
for day after fricking day ♪
1751
01:40:27,666 --> 01:40:30,100
♪ Why stay, why stay? ♪
1752
01:40:30,100 --> 01:40:32,266
♪ Why not simply end it,
we'd all comprehend it ♪
1753
01:40:32,266 --> 01:40:34,400
♪ And most of
the world would say,
1754
01:40:34,400 --> 01:40:36,933
"He's better off that way ♪
1755
01:40:36,933 --> 01:40:39,633
♪ To be free ♪
1756
01:40:39,633 --> 01:40:42,866
♪ And maybe so is she" ♪
1757
01:40:44,366 --> 01:40:48,366
-♪ A promise,
a boy says forever ♪
1758
01:40:48,366 --> 01:40:52,466
♪ A boy says, "Whatever may
come, we'll come through ♪
1759
01:40:52,466 --> 01:40:53,966
♪ And who can know how,
1760
01:40:53,966 --> 01:40:57,300
when all I know now
to be true ♪
1761
01:40:57,300 --> 01:41:02,600
♪ Is this promise
that I made to you ♪
1762
01:41:03,600 --> 01:41:06,266
-♪ A question,
a boy wonders whether ♪
1763
01:41:06,266 --> 01:41:07,666
-♪ A boy wonders,
"Should I stay?" ♪
1764
01:41:07,666 --> 01:41:11,000
-♪ The two stay together
the way that they stay ♪
1765
01:41:11,000 --> 01:41:13,200
♪ For year after year ♪
1766
01:41:13,200 --> 01:41:15,000
♪ For love or from fear ♪
1767
01:41:15,000 --> 01:41:20,766
♪ Either way, that's the promise
that I made that day ♪
1768
01:41:20,766 --> 01:41:25,566
♪ Here's what I say to the girl
who was burning so brightly ♪
1769
01:41:25,566 --> 01:41:30,033
♪ Like the light from
Orion above ♪
1770
01:41:30,033 --> 01:41:33,866
-♪ And still,
I will search for her nightly ♪
1771
01:41:33,866 --> 01:41:37,300
♪ If you see her,
please send her my love ♪
1772
01:41:37,300 --> 01:41:40,200
♪ And the boy was a boy
for all seasons ♪
1773
01:41:40,200 --> 01:41:41,500
-♪ The boy is long-lost ♪
1774
01:41:41,500 --> 01:41:44,366
-♪ That boy is
long-lost to me now ♪
1775
01:41:44,366 --> 01:41:45,633
-♪ So lost ♪
1776
01:41:45,633 --> 01:41:49,333
-♪ The man
has forgotten his reasons ♪
1777
01:41:49,333 --> 01:41:52,800
-♪ The man
still remembers his vow ♪
1778
01:41:53,733 --> 01:41:57,733
♪ A promise,
a man says "Forever" ♪
1779
01:41:57,733 --> 01:42:02,133
♪ A man says,
"I'll never regret or let you" ♪
1780
01:42:02,133 --> 01:42:04,966
♪ The promise
that I made to stay ♪
1781
01:42:04,966 --> 01:42:09,966
And I stayed true ♪
1782
01:42:09,966 --> 01:42:13,800
♪ Knowing one day
we'd remember that joy ♪
1783
01:42:13,800 --> 01:42:18,366
♪ You'd remember that girl,
I'd remember that boy ♪
1784
01:42:18,366 --> 01:42:21,300
♪ Till we do,
the promise I made ♪
1785
01:42:21,300 --> 01:42:24,866
♪ I'll make it brand-new ♪
1786
01:42:24,866 --> 01:42:31,300
♪ The promise that I made
1787
01:42:31,300 --> 01:42:38,266
to you ♪
1788
01:42:38,266 --> 01:42:43,400
-♪ I am more than memory ♪
1789
01:42:43,400 --> 01:42:46,466
♪ I am what might be ♪
1790
01:42:46,466 --> 01:42:49,100
♪ I am mystery ♪
1791
01:42:50,600 --> 01:42:53,400
♪ Come closer ♪
1792
01:42:53,400 --> 01:42:55,700
-Dan.
1793
01:42:55,700 --> 01:42:59,500
-♪ Come closer ♪
1794
01:42:59,500 --> 01:43:02,966
-Diana, there's nothing there.
1795
01:43:02,966 --> 01:43:06,766
-♪ I'm old as time
and forever young ♪
1796
01:43:06,766 --> 01:43:10,500
♪ I am every song
that will stay unsung ♪
1797
01:43:10,500 --> 01:43:12,600
♪ I'll find you ♪
-Oh, no.
1798
01:43:12,600 --> 01:43:15,400
-You're kidding!
-♪ Remind you ♪
1799
01:43:15,400 --> 01:43:17,966
-Natalie!
-Diana, come back here!
1800
01:43:17,966 --> 01:43:23,533
-♪ Until you name me,
you can't tame me ♪
1801
01:43:23,533 --> 01:43:29,266
♪ This is one old game
that I can play so well ♪
1802
01:43:29,266 --> 01:43:32,766
♪ I'm alive, I'm alive,
I am so alive ♪
1803
01:43:32,766 --> 01:43:35,333
♪ And the medicine failed,
and the doctors lied ♪
1804
01:43:35,333 --> 01:43:38,700
♪ I'm alive, I'm alive,
I am death defied ♪
1805
01:43:38,700 --> 01:43:41,200
♪ I'm alive ♪
1806
01:43:41,200 --> 01:43:44,333
♪ So alive ♪
1807
01:43:44,333 --> 01:43:46,100
♪ I'm alive ♪
1808
01:43:46,100 --> 01:43:47,266
-I can't go to your dance.
1809
01:43:47,266 --> 01:43:49,000
I have to take my mom
to the doctor.
1810
01:43:49,000 --> 01:43:50,466
-I'll drive.
-No.
1811
01:43:50,466 --> 01:43:52,133
-♪ I'm alive ♪
1812
01:43:52,133 --> 01:43:54,033
-Natalie, let me help you.
-No, you can't.
1813
01:43:54,033 --> 01:43:56,333
-Diana!
-Just go.
1814
01:43:56,333 --> 01:43:59,000
-♪ I'm alive ♪
1815
01:43:59,000 --> 01:44:00,833
-Look,
I'll try to come later, okay?
1816
01:44:00,833 --> 01:44:02,200
-Okay, I'll wait for you there.
1817
01:44:02,200 --> 01:44:10,200
-♪ I'm alive ♪
1818
01:44:11,500 --> 01:44:14,500
-♪ They told me that the wiring
was somehow all misfiring
1819
01:44:14,500 --> 01:44:16,900
and screwing up
the signals in my brain ♪
1820
01:44:16,900 --> 01:44:19,133
♪ And then they told me
chemistry, the juice,
1821
01:44:19,133 --> 01:44:22,400
and not the circuitry was mixing
up and making me insane ♪
1822
01:44:22,400 --> 01:44:25,366
♪ What happens when
the burn has healed,
1823
01:44:25,366 --> 01:44:27,866
but the skin has not regrown?
1824
01:44:27,866 --> 01:44:32,000
♪ What happens when
the cast at last comes off
1825
01:44:32,000 --> 01:44:38,033
and then you find the break was
always in another bone? ♪
1826
01:44:38,033 --> 01:44:40,100
-Relapse is very common, Diana.
1827
01:44:40,100 --> 01:44:42,000
It's upsetting that the
delusional episodes
1828
01:44:42,000 --> 01:44:45,533
have returned,
but not entirely unexpected.
1829
01:44:47,066 --> 01:44:49,366
-♪ They tried a million meds and
they strapped me to their beds
1830
01:44:49,366 --> 01:44:52,066
and they shrugged and told me,
"That's the way it goes" ♪
1831
01:44:52,066 --> 01:44:55,000
♪ When, finally, you hit it,
I asked you just what did it,
1832
01:44:55,000 --> 01:44:57,400
you shrugged and said that
no one really knows ♪
1833
01:44:57,400 --> 01:45:02,966
♪ What happens if the medicine
wasn't really in control? ♪
1834
01:45:02,966 --> 01:45:06,600
♪ What happens if the cut,
the burn, the break
1835
01:45:06,600 --> 01:45:14,566
was never in my brain or in my
blood, but in my soul? ♪
1836
01:45:17,166 --> 01:45:24,100
♪ What happens if the cut,
the burn, the break
1837
01:45:24,100 --> 01:45:28,633
was never in my brain
1838
01:45:28,633 --> 01:45:35,233
or in my blood,
but in my soul? ♪
1839
01:45:39,566 --> 01:45:43,600
-♪ Make up your mind,
this is clarity ♪
1840
01:45:43,600 --> 01:45:47,933
♪ Clarity
that you did not have before ♪
1841
01:45:47,933 --> 01:45:52,500
♪ The treatment is strong,
but lasts only so long ♪
1842
01:45:52,500 --> 01:45:55,900
♪ It may be
your mind's needing more ♪
1843
01:45:55,900 --> 01:45:57,600
-Let's say that's not it.
1844
01:45:57,600 --> 01:46:00,466
The ECT is powerful.
It gave you your life back.
1845
01:46:00,466 --> 01:46:02,400
But the effects fade,
1846
01:46:02,400 --> 01:46:04,233
and additional treatments
are almost always needed.
1847
01:46:04,233 --> 01:46:06,333
-That wasn't on the form.
1848
01:46:06,333 --> 01:46:09,766
-♪ Make up your mind
that you'll try again ♪
1849
01:46:10,700 --> 01:46:14,200
♪ Make up your mind,
there are moments of light ♪
1850
01:46:14,200 --> 01:46:18,666
♪ The one thing that's sure
is that there is no cure ♪
1851
01:46:18,666 --> 01:46:21,533
♪ But that doesn't mean
we don't fight ♪
1852
01:46:21,533 --> 01:46:24,633
-♪ Catch me, I'm falling ♪
-We'll return to talk therapy.
1853
01:46:24,633 --> 01:46:28,600
-♪ Sinking and sprawling ♪
-There's still work to do.
1854
01:46:28,600 --> 01:46:31,900
-♪ Maybe I'll let myself fall ♪
1855
01:46:31,900 --> 01:46:35,166
♪ Watch me, I'm falling ♪
-We might have to look at, uh...
1856
01:46:35,166 --> 01:46:38,200
-♪ Maybe the falling ♪
-...a new drug regimen.
1857
01:46:38,200 --> 01:46:40,066
-♪ Isn't so bad after all ♪
1858
01:46:40,066 --> 01:46:41,833
-There are other promising
therapies.
1859
01:46:41,833 --> 01:46:44,400
EMDR, for instance, or rTMS.
-♪ Isn't so bad after all ♪
1860
01:46:44,400 --> 01:46:47,033
♪ Watch me, I'm falling ♪
-Diana!
1861
01:46:47,033 --> 01:46:48,633
-♪ Watch me, I'm flying ♪
-♪ Make up your mind ♪
1862
01:46:48,633 --> 01:46:50,966
-♪ Somehow surviving ♪
1863
01:46:50,966 --> 01:46:53,400
-Diana,
you have a chronic illness!
1864
01:46:54,333 --> 01:46:57,400
Like diabetes or hypertension,
if left untreated,
1865
01:46:57,400 --> 01:47:00,766
it could be catastrophic.
1866
01:47:00,766 --> 01:47:03,266
-I understand.
1867
01:47:04,700 --> 01:47:06,633
But there has to be another way.
1868
01:47:06,633 --> 01:47:10,466
-♪ Stay with me, try again ♪
1869
01:47:10,466 --> 01:47:14,733
♪ Don't walk out on treatment,
don't lose what you've won ♪
1870
01:47:14,733 --> 01:47:19,833
♪ You've struggled for years,
but you've only begun ♪
1871
01:47:22,033 --> 01:47:28,600
-My first psychiatrist told me
that, according to the manual,
1872
01:47:28,600 --> 01:47:33,000
grief that continues
past six months is pathological
1873
01:47:33,000 --> 01:47:34,233
and should be medicated.
1874
01:47:37,266 --> 01:47:39,066
Six months.
1875
01:47:41,233 --> 01:47:43,666
For the life of my child.
1876
01:47:45,300 --> 01:47:46,933
Who makes these decisions?
1877
01:47:46,933 --> 01:47:48,866
-It's a guideline,
nothing more.
1878
01:47:48,866 --> 01:47:52,533
-Yes. Nothing more.
1879
01:47:52,533 --> 01:47:56,566
-♪ Stay with me, try again ♪
1880
01:47:56,566 --> 01:47:58,900
♪ Is medicine magic? ♪
1881
01:47:58,900 --> 01:48:00,900
♪ You know that it's not ♪
1882
01:48:00,900 --> 01:48:05,400
♪ We know it's not perfect,
but it's what we've got ♪
1883
01:48:06,333 --> 01:48:11,433
♪ That's all that we've got ♪
1884
01:48:14,700 --> 01:48:17,266
-Goodbye, Dr. Madden.
1885
01:48:18,866 --> 01:48:23,633
♪♪
1886
01:48:23,633 --> 01:48:25,133
-So, what did he say?
1887
01:48:27,033 --> 01:48:32,666
-Uh, he said I could do more ECT
or go back on the meds.
1888
01:48:34,266 --> 01:48:36,100
-Okay, so,
what are you gonna do?
1889
01:48:36,100 --> 01:48:37,833
-I'm gonna take you
to your dance.
1890
01:48:37,833 --> 01:48:39,700
-Mom...
1891
01:48:39,700 --> 01:48:41,633
-It's time you start
thinking of your own happiness.
1892
01:48:41,633 --> 01:48:44,866
It's not happiness.
It's Henry.
1893
01:48:48,500 --> 01:48:50,233
-You love him.
1894
01:48:52,300 --> 01:48:55,833
-Mom, you can't just walk out
on your doctor.
1895
01:48:56,533 --> 01:49:00,133
-♪ Maybe I've lost it at last ♪
1896
01:49:00,133 --> 01:49:02,833
♪♪
1897
01:49:02,833 --> 01:49:08,966
♪ Maybe my last lucid moment
has passed ♪
1898
01:49:08,966 --> 01:49:12,666
♪ I'm dancing with death,
I suppose ♪
1899
01:49:12,666 --> 01:49:15,000
♪♪
1900
01:49:15,000 --> 01:49:18,533
♪ But, really, who knows? ♪
1901
01:49:18,533 --> 01:49:20,833
♪♪
1902
01:49:20,833 --> 01:49:26,533
♪ Maybe I'm tired of the game ♪
1903
01:49:26,533 --> 01:49:32,433
♪ Of coming up short
of the rules, of the shame ♪
1904
01:49:32,433 --> 01:49:38,466
♪ And maybe
you feel that way, too ♪
1905
01:49:38,466 --> 01:49:42,833
♪ I see me in you ♪
1906
01:49:42,833 --> 01:49:48,666
♪ A girl
full of anger and hope ♪
1907
01:49:48,666 --> 01:49:54,200
♪ A girl with a mother
who just couldn't cope ♪
1908
01:49:54,200 --> 01:49:56,800
♪♪
1909
01:49:56,800 --> 01:50:00,900
♪ A girl who felt caught ♪
1910
01:50:00,900 --> 01:50:05,766
♪ And thought no one could see ♪
1911
01:50:05,766 --> 01:50:10,500
♪ But maybe one day,
she'll be free ♪
1912
01:50:10,500 --> 01:50:13,333
-♪ It's so lovely
that you're sharing ♪
1913
01:50:13,333 --> 01:50:16,033
♪ No, really, I'm all ears ♪
1914
01:50:16,033 --> 01:50:21,700
♪ But where has all this caring
been for sixteen years? ♪
1915
01:50:21,700 --> 01:50:27,566
♪ For all those years I prayed
that you'd go away for good ♪
1916
01:50:27,566 --> 01:50:29,600
♪♪
1917
01:50:29,600 --> 01:50:34,866
♪ Half the time afraid
that you really would ♪
1918
01:50:34,866 --> 01:50:37,133
♪ When I thought
you might be dying ♪
1919
01:50:37,133 --> 01:50:40,500
♪ I cried for all
we'd never be ♪
1920
01:50:40,500 --> 01:50:45,566
♪ But there'll
be no more crying ♪
1921
01:50:45,566 --> 01:50:47,800
♪ Not for me ♪
1922
01:50:47,800 --> 01:50:51,200
-♪ Things will get better,
you'll see ♪
1923
01:50:51,200 --> 01:50:54,466
-♪ Not for me ♪
1924
01:50:54,466 --> 01:50:56,600
-♪ You'll see ♪
-No!
1925
01:50:56,600 --> 01:51:02,500
-♪ Not for me ♪
-♪ You'll see ♪
1926
01:51:02,500 --> 01:51:07,566
-♪ Not for m-e-e ♪
-♪ You'll s-e-ee ♪
1927
01:51:07,566 --> 01:51:11,133
♪♪
1928
01:51:13,600 --> 01:51:17,733
♪ Maybe we can't be okay ♪
1929
01:51:17,733 --> 01:51:20,533
♪♪
1930
01:51:20,533 --> 01:51:26,200
♪But maybe we're tough,
and we'll try anyway ♪
1931
01:51:26,200 --> 01:51:28,233
♪♪
1932
01:51:28,233 --> 01:51:31,033
♪ We'll live with what's real ♪
1933
01:51:31,033 --> 01:51:33,466
♪♪
1934
01:51:33,466 --> 01:51:36,200
♪ Let go of what's past ♪
1935
01:51:36,200 --> 01:51:38,366
♪♪
1936
01:51:38,366 --> 01:51:39,866
♪ And maybe
I'll see you at last ♪
1937
01:51:42,566 --> 01:51:45,300
♪♪
1938
01:51:45,300 --> 01:51:47,166
-I don't believe you.
1939
01:51:47,166 --> 01:51:51,733
♪♪
1940
01:51:51,733 --> 01:51:56,466
-17 years ago, your brother died
of an intestinal obstruction.
1941
01:51:58,933 --> 01:52:00,633
He was 8 months old.
1942
01:52:07,200 --> 01:52:10,133
I know I -- I couldn't
say that to you before.
1943
01:52:11,233 --> 01:52:13,133
I'm sorry.
1944
01:52:13,133 --> 01:52:17,366
♪♪
1945
01:52:17,366 --> 01:52:20,900
We wanted to give you
a normal life.
1946
01:52:20,900 --> 01:52:23,000
♪♪
1947
01:52:23,000 --> 01:52:25,366
I realize I have no clue
what that is.
1948
01:52:29,833 --> 01:52:34,533
-♪ I don't need a life
that's normal ♪
1949
01:52:34,533 --> 01:52:38,766
♪ That's way too far away ♪
1950
01:52:38,766 --> 01:52:43,933
♪ But something next to normal
would be okay ♪
1951
01:52:43,933 --> 01:52:46,233
♪♪
1952
01:52:46,233 --> 01:52:49,800
♪ Yeah,
something next to normal ♪
1953
01:52:49,800 --> 01:52:54,833
♪ That's the thing
I'd like to try ♪
1954
01:52:54,833 --> 01:53:00,300
♪ Close enough to normal ♪
1955
01:53:00,300 --> 01:53:04,366
♪ To get by ♪
1956
01:53:04,366 --> 01:53:07,400
♪♪
1957
01:53:07,400 --> 01:53:11,600
-♪ We'll get by ♪
1958
01:53:13,700 --> 01:53:16,266
-♪ We'll get by ♪
1959
01:53:16,266 --> 01:53:18,100
♪♪
1960
01:53:18,100 --> 01:53:19,866
-Okay.
1961
01:53:22,800 --> 01:53:24,500
Now go to your dance.
1962
01:53:24,500 --> 01:53:42,300
♪♪
1963
01:53:42,300 --> 01:53:46,700
-♪ Hey ♪
1964
01:53:46,700 --> 01:53:48,766
-♪ You look like a star ♪
1965
01:53:48,766 --> 01:53:50,933
♪♪
1966
01:53:50,933 --> 01:53:54,633
♪ A vision in blue ♪
1967
01:53:54,633 --> 01:53:57,166
-Oh, I do.
1968
01:53:57,166 --> 01:53:59,566
-♪ And you are ♪
1969
01:53:59,566 --> 01:54:01,633
♪ Hey ♪
1970
01:54:01,633 --> 01:54:03,300
♪ You came ♪
1971
01:54:03,300 --> 01:54:07,666
-♪ Well, I said that I might ♪
1972
01:54:07,666 --> 01:54:11,333
-♪ I thought we were through ♪
1973
01:54:11,333 --> 01:54:13,466
♪ Me and you ♪
1974
01:54:13,466 --> 01:54:15,633
-♪ Not tonight ♪
1975
01:54:15,633 --> 01:54:17,833
-♪ Will your mom be okay? ♪
1976
01:54:17,833 --> 01:54:19,866
-♪ Well, she might be someday ♪
1977
01:54:19,866 --> 01:54:22,100
-♪ But for now, it's all fine? ♪
1978
01:54:22,100 --> 01:54:24,200
-♪ She's still on my mind ♪
1979
01:54:24,200 --> 01:54:26,600
-♪ Can you leave it behind?
Stay ♪
1980
01:54:26,600 --> 01:54:28,666
-♪ Let's see
this thing through ♪
1981
01:54:28,666 --> 01:54:30,433
-♪ Am I crazy? ♪
1982
01:54:30,433 --> 01:54:33,800
♪ I might end up crazy ♪
1983
01:54:33,800 --> 01:54:36,466
-♪ I'll be here for you ♪
1984
01:54:36,466 --> 01:54:39,166
-♪ You say that right here ♪
1985
01:54:39,166 --> 01:54:43,433
♪ But then give it a year,
or ten years, or a life ♪
1986
01:54:43,433 --> 01:54:45,333
♪ I could end up your wife ♪
1987
01:54:45,333 --> 01:54:47,300
♪ Sitting, staring at walls ♪
1988
01:54:47,300 --> 01:54:49,066
♪ Throwing crap
down the stairs ♪
1989
01:54:49,066 --> 01:54:50,966
♪ Freaking out at the store ♪
1990
01:54:50,966 --> 01:54:52,566
♪ Running nude down the street ♪
1991
01:54:52,566 --> 01:54:54,300
♪ Bleeding out in the bath ♪
1992
01:54:54,300 --> 01:54:56,700
-Shh!
-[ Crying ]
1993
01:54:59,200 --> 01:55:01,766
-♪ Perfect for you ♪
1994
01:55:02,800 --> 01:55:06,766
♪ I will be perfect for you ♪
1995
01:55:07,766 --> 01:55:10,866
♪ So you could go crazy,
or I could go crazy ♪
1996
01:55:13,566 --> 01:55:15,300
♪ It's true ♪
1997
01:55:15,300 --> 01:55:17,933
♪♪
1998
01:55:17,933 --> 01:55:21,333
♪ Sometimes life is insane ♪
1999
01:55:21,333 --> 01:55:22,466
♪♪
2000
01:55:22,466 --> 01:55:28,633
♪ But crazy I know I can do ♪
2001
01:55:28,633 --> 01:55:33,900
♪ 'Cause crazy is perfect,
and messed-up is perfect ♪
2002
01:55:33,900 --> 01:55:37,300
♪ So I will be perfect ♪
2003
01:55:37,300 --> 01:55:39,733
♪♪
2004
01:55:39,733 --> 01:55:41,900
-♪ Perfect ♪
2005
01:55:41,900 --> 01:55:45,900
♪♪
2006
01:55:45,900 --> 01:55:55,900
-♪ Perfect for you ♪♪
2007
01:55:55,900 --> 01:56:12,600
♪♪
2008
01:56:12,600 --> 01:56:16,000
-♪ So, anyway ♪
2009
01:56:16,000 --> 01:56:17,200
♪ I'm leaving ♪
2010
01:56:19,566 --> 01:56:21,466
♪ I thought you'd like to know ♪
2011
01:56:23,333 --> 01:56:27,033
♪ You're faithful,
come what may ♪
2012
01:56:27,033 --> 01:56:30,933
♪ But clearly I can't stay ♪
2013
01:56:30,933 --> 01:56:34,233
♪ We'd both go mad that way ♪
2014
01:56:36,333 --> 01:56:39,633
♪ So, here I go ♪
2015
01:56:39,633 --> 01:56:42,633
♪♪
2016
01:56:42,633 --> 01:56:46,033
♪ And anyway ♪
2017
01:56:46,033 --> 01:56:50,233
♪ I'm leaving ♪
2018
01:56:50,233 --> 01:56:51,933
♪ I guess that you can see ♪
2019
01:56:51,933 --> 01:56:54,600
♪♪
2020
01:56:54,600 --> 01:56:57,300
♪ I'll try this on my own ♪
2021
01:56:57,300 --> 01:56:59,800
♪ A life I've never known ♪
2022
01:56:59,800 --> 01:57:03,633
♪ I'll face the dread alone ♪
2023
01:57:03,633 --> 01:57:05,666
♪♪
2024
01:57:05,666 --> 01:57:12,433
♪ But I'll be free ♪
2025
01:57:12,433 --> 01:57:13,766
♪♪
2026
01:57:13,766 --> 01:57:17,966
♪ With you always beside me ♪
2027
01:57:17,966 --> 01:57:21,300
♪ To catch me when I fall ♪
2028
01:57:21,300 --> 01:57:27,400
♪ I'd never get to know the feel
of solid ground at all ♪
2029
01:57:27,400 --> 01:57:35,433
♪ With you always believing that
we could still come through ♪
2030
01:57:35,433 --> 01:57:39,633
♪ It makes me feel the fool
to know that it's not true ♪
2031
01:57:39,633 --> 01:57:42,900
♪♪
2032
01:57:42,900 --> 01:57:47,566
♪ What doctors call dysfunction,
we tried to call romance ♪
2033
01:57:47,566 --> 01:57:49,166
♪ And true, it's quite a trick ♪
2034
01:57:49,166 --> 01:57:51,933
♪ To tell the dancers
from the dance ♪
2035
01:57:51,933 --> 01:57:54,733
♪ But rather than let chance
take me ♪
2036
01:57:56,233 --> 01:58:03,666
♪ I'll take a chance ♪
2037
01:58:03,666 --> 01:58:06,400
♪♪
2038
01:58:06,400 --> 01:58:09,033
♪ I'll take a chance on
leaving ♪
2039
01:58:09,033 --> 01:58:11,700
♪♪
2040
01:58:11,700 --> 01:58:13,800
♪ It's that or stay and die ♪
2041
01:58:13,800 --> 01:58:16,833
♪♪
2042
01:58:16,833 --> 01:58:21,900
♪ I loved you once, and though
you love me still, I know ♪
2043
01:58:21,900 --> 01:58:27,333
♪ It's time for me to fly ♪
2044
01:58:27,333 --> 01:58:30,133
♪♪
2045
01:58:30,133 --> 01:58:35,133
♪ I loved you once, and though ♪
2046
01:58:35,133 --> 01:58:40,500
♪ I love you still, I know ♪
2047
01:58:40,500 --> 01:58:49,400
♪ It's time for me to go ♪
2048
01:58:49,400 --> 01:58:53,133
♪♪
2049
01:58:53,133 --> 01:58:54,800
♪ And so... ♪
2050
01:58:58,100 --> 01:59:02,333
♪ Goodbye ♪
2051
01:59:02,333 --> 01:59:26,733
♪♪
2052
01:59:26,733 --> 01:59:30,666
-♪ I am the one who loved you ♪
2053
01:59:30,666 --> 01:59:33,566
♪ I am the one who stayed ♪
2054
01:59:33,566 --> 01:59:35,733
♪ I am the one ♪
2055
01:59:35,733 --> 01:59:41,033
♪ And you walked away ♪
2056
01:59:41,033 --> 01:59:42,433
♪♪
2057
01:59:42,433 --> 01:59:45,866
♪ I am the one who waited ♪
2058
01:59:45,866 --> 01:59:52,566
♪ And now you act like
you just don't give a damn ♪
2059
01:59:52,566 --> 01:59:57,366
♪ Like you never knew who I am ♪
2060
01:59:57,366 --> 02:00:00,366
-♪ I am the one who knows you ♪
-♪ I am ♪
2061
02:00:00,366 --> 02:00:03,000
-♪ I am the one you fear ♪
-♪ I am ♪
2062
02:00:03,000 --> 02:00:08,466
-♪ I am the one
who's always been here ♪
2063
02:00:08,466 --> 02:00:09,666
-♪ I am ♪
2064
02:00:09,666 --> 02:00:11,266
-♪ I am the one
who'll hear you ♪
2065
02:00:11,266 --> 02:00:12,733
-♪ I am ♪
2066
02:00:12,733 --> 02:00:18,533
-♪ I know you told her
that I'm not worth a damn ♪
2067
02:00:18,533 --> 02:00:22,933
♪ But I know you know who I am ♪
2068
02:00:22,933 --> 02:00:25,133
♪♪
2069
02:00:25,133 --> 02:00:26,200
-No.
2070
02:00:26,200 --> 02:00:30,866
-♪ I know you know who I am ♪
2071
02:00:30,866 --> 02:00:32,300
-Can't you just leave me alone?
2072
02:00:32,300 --> 02:00:36,566
-♪ I know you know who I am ♪
2073
02:00:36,566 --> 02:00:38,466
-Why didn't you go with her?
2074
02:00:38,466 --> 02:00:41,733
-♪ 'Cause I'm holding on ♪
2075
02:00:41,733 --> 02:00:44,066
-Let me go!
2076
02:00:44,066 --> 02:00:46,900
-♪ And I won't let go ♪
2077
02:00:46,900 --> 02:00:48,433
-♪ Let me go ♪
2078
02:00:48,433 --> 02:00:51,400
-♪ I want you to know ♪
-♪ You don't know ♪
2079
02:00:51,400 --> 02:00:53,700
-♪ I am the one who held you ♪
2080
02:00:53,700 --> 02:00:55,833
♪ I am the one who cried ♪
2081
02:00:55,833 --> 02:01:00,300
♪ I am the one
who watched while you died ♪
2082
02:01:00,300 --> 02:01:01,900
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
2083
02:01:01,900 --> 02:01:04,233
♪ I am the one who loved you ♪
2084
02:01:04,233 --> 02:01:09,266
♪ I tried pretending
that I don't give a damn ♪
2085
02:01:09,266 --> 02:01:13,533
♪ But you've always known
who I am ♪
2086
02:01:13,533 --> 02:01:15,466
♪♪
2087
02:01:15,466 --> 02:01:16,500
-Gabe.
2088
02:01:16,500 --> 02:01:19,166
♪♪
2089
02:01:19,166 --> 02:01:20,433
Gabriel.
2090
02:01:20,433 --> 02:01:23,666
♪♪
2091
02:01:23,666 --> 02:01:25,433
-Hi, Dad.
2092
02:01:25,433 --> 02:01:29,133
♪♪
2093
02:01:29,133 --> 02:01:31,333
-Dad?
2094
02:01:32,900 --> 02:01:34,733
What's going on?
Why are the lights off?
2095
02:01:39,500 --> 02:01:40,866
Where's Mom?
2096
02:01:43,500 --> 02:01:46,400
-She's...
2097
02:01:46,400 --> 02:01:49,933
Uh, she's, uh...
2098
02:01:52,900 --> 02:01:54,833
-Gone?
2099
02:01:54,833 --> 02:01:56,700
-Yeah.
2100
02:02:02,233 --> 02:02:03,900
-So, it's, uh...
2101
02:02:05,833 --> 02:02:08,066
It's just me and you for now.
2102
02:02:11,133 --> 02:02:12,233
-Oh...
2103
02:02:16,700 --> 02:02:18,233
-Yeah.
2104
02:02:23,066 --> 02:02:24,266
-[ Crying ]
2105
02:02:34,433 --> 02:02:36,066
-[ Cries ]
2106
02:02:37,333 --> 02:02:39,333
-Hey.
2107
02:02:39,333 --> 02:02:40,800
Okay.
2108
02:02:41,933 --> 02:02:43,300
Okay.
2109
02:02:43,300 --> 02:02:44,700
-[ Crying ]
2110
02:02:44,700 --> 02:02:47,266
♪♪
2111
02:02:47,266 --> 02:02:50,600
-♪ We need some light ♪
2112
02:02:50,600 --> 02:02:53,033
♪♪
2113
02:02:53,033 --> 02:02:59,333
♪ First of all,
we need some light ♪
2114
02:02:59,333 --> 02:03:04,100
♪ You can't sit here
in the dark ♪
2115
02:03:04,100 --> 02:03:07,300
♪ And all alone ♪
2116
02:03:07,300 --> 02:03:10,000
♪ It's a sorry sight ♪
2117
02:03:10,000 --> 02:03:13,633
♪ It's just you and me ♪
2118
02:03:13,633 --> 02:03:15,033
[ Smooches ]
2119
02:03:15,033 --> 02:03:16,666
♪♪
2120
02:03:16,666 --> 02:03:20,300
♪ We'll live, you'll see ♪
2121
02:03:20,300 --> 02:03:26,733
♪♪
2122
02:03:26,733 --> 02:03:31,700
-♪ Night after night ♪
2123
02:03:31,700 --> 02:03:37,700
♪ We'd sit and wait
for the morning light ♪
2124
02:03:37,700 --> 02:03:42,166
♪ But we've waited
far too long ♪
2125
02:03:42,166 --> 02:03:47,833
♪ For all that's wrong
to be made right ♪
2126
02:03:47,833 --> 02:03:53,033
-♪ Day after day ♪
2127
02:03:53,033 --> 02:03:58,733
♪ Wishing all our cares away ♪
2128
02:03:58,733 --> 02:04:03,500
♪ Trying to fight
the things we feel ♪
2129
02:04:03,500 --> 02:04:09,266
♪ But some hurts never heal ♪
2130
02:04:09,266 --> 02:04:14,000
♪ Some ghosts are never gone ♪
2131
02:04:14,000 --> 02:04:18,900
♪ But we go on ♪
2132
02:04:18,900 --> 02:04:23,266
♪ We still go on ♪
2133
02:04:23,266 --> 02:04:28,600
♪ And you find some way
to survive ♪
2134
02:04:28,600 --> 02:04:37,000
♪ And you find out you
don't have to be happy at all ♪
2135
02:04:37,000 --> 02:04:41,466
♪ To be happy you're alive
2136
02:04:41,466 --> 02:04:44,133
-Do you know where she went?
Have you heard from her?
2137
02:04:44,133 --> 02:04:45,900
-Yeah.
Yeah, I heard from her.
2138
02:04:45,900 --> 02:04:48,033
She's staying
with my grandparents.
2139
02:04:48,033 --> 02:04:50,233
♪♪
2140
02:04:50,233 --> 02:04:52,200
-Do they actually exist?
2141
02:04:52,200 --> 02:04:53,766
[ Chuckles ]
2142
02:04:53,766 --> 02:04:56,333
-Yes.
2143
02:04:56,333 --> 02:04:58,133
-So, that's good, right?
2144
02:04:58,133 --> 02:05:00,533
-Well, going home
has never been a solution
2145
02:05:00,533 --> 02:05:01,900
to any of my problems.
2146
02:05:01,900 --> 02:05:03,600
-Well, that's what
you got me for.
2147
02:05:03,600 --> 02:05:05,100
-Seriously?
2148
02:05:05,100 --> 02:05:07,600
You're like number three
on my list of issues.
2149
02:05:08,500 --> 02:05:11,266
-You keep a list?
-Don't worry, Henry.
2150
02:05:11,266 --> 02:05:13,600
You're my favorite problem.
2151
02:05:13,600 --> 02:05:15,233
-That's all I ask.
2152
02:05:15,233 --> 02:05:20,900
-♪ Day after day ♪
2153
02:05:20,900 --> 02:05:26,200
♪ Give me clouds and rain
and gray ♪
2154
02:05:26,200 --> 02:05:30,200
♪ Give me pain
if that's what's real ♪
2155
02:05:30,200 --> 02:05:36,466
-♪ It's the price we pay
to feel ♪
2156
02:05:36,466 --> 02:05:40,300
♪ The price of love is loss ♪
2157
02:05:40,300 --> 02:05:44,966
♪ But still we pay ♪
2158
02:05:44,966 --> 02:05:51,200
-♪ We love anyway ♪
2159
02:05:51,200 --> 02:05:53,133
-Look, I know you can't tell me
if you're treating her.
2160
02:05:53,133 --> 02:05:55,166
Uh, I just wonder if she's okay.
2161
02:05:55,166 --> 02:06:00,066
-I think she's working on it,
and she's aware of the risks.
2162
02:06:00,066 --> 02:06:03,000
-Do you think she'll come home?
2163
02:06:03,000 --> 02:06:05,700
-It's hard to say.
-Right.
2164
02:06:05,700 --> 02:06:07,733
-Dan...
2165
02:06:07,733 --> 02:06:11,100
Would you like me to recommend
someone for you to talk to?
2166
02:06:11,100 --> 02:06:13,966
-No.
2167
02:06:13,966 --> 02:06:16,466
Yes.
Yes, I would, thank you.
2168
02:06:16,466 --> 02:06:18,833
♪♪
2169
02:06:18,833 --> 02:06:21,466
-♪ And when the night
has finally gone ♪
2170
02:06:21,466 --> 02:06:24,100
♪ And when we see
the new day dawn ♪
2171
02:06:24,100 --> 02:06:27,300
♪ We'll wonder how we
wandered for so long, so blind ♪
2172
02:06:28,900 --> 02:06:31,533
♪ The wasted world
we thought we knew ♪
2173
02:06:31,533 --> 02:06:34,066
♪ The light will make it
look brand-new ♪
2174
02:06:34,066 --> 02:06:37,100
♪ So, let it ♪
2175
02:06:37,100 --> 02:06:39,333
♪ Let it ♪
2176
02:06:39,333 --> 02:06:42,166
♪ So, let it ♪
2177
02:06:42,166 --> 02:06:43,833
♪ Let it ♪
2178
02:06:43,833 --> 02:06:47,133
-♪ Let it shine ♪
2179
02:06:47,133 --> 02:06:54,000
♪ Shine ♪
2180
02:06:54,000 --> 02:06:58,700
♪ Day after day ♪
2181
02:06:58,700 --> 02:07:04,233
♪ We'll find the will
to find our way ♪
2182
02:07:04,233 --> 02:07:08,666
♪ Knowing that
the darkest skies ♪
2183
02:07:08,666 --> 02:07:13,533
♪ Will someday see the sun ♪
2184
02:07:13,533 --> 02:07:14,666
♪♪
2185
02:07:14,666 --> 02:07:19,600
-♪ When our long night is done ♪
2186
02:07:19,600 --> 02:07:28,466
♪ There will be light ♪
2187
02:07:28,466 --> 02:07:33,366
♪ When we open up our lives ♪
2188
02:07:33,366 --> 02:07:37,800
♪ Sons and daughters,
husbands, wives ♪
2189
02:07:37,800 --> 02:07:42,766
♪ And fight that fight ♪
2190
02:07:42,766 --> 02:07:55,666
♪ There will be light ♪
2191
02:07:55,666 --> 02:07:57,166
♪♪
2192
02:07:57,166 --> 02:08:07,233
♪ There will be light ♪
2193
02:08:07,233 --> 02:08:10,366
♪♪
2194
02:08:10,366 --> 02:08:15,833
[ Cheers and applause ]
2195
02:08:26,300 --> 02:08:30,066
[ Cheers and applause ]
2196
02:08:40,500 --> 02:08:43,833
[ Cheers and applause ]
2197
02:08:43,833 --> 02:08:45,366
-To find out more about this
2198
02:08:45,366 --> 02:08:47,233
and other "Great Performances"
programs,
2199
02:08:47,233 --> 02:08:50,300
visit
pbs.org/greatperformances
2200
02:08:50,300 --> 02:08:53,133
and follow us on Facebook,
X, and Instagram.
2201
02:08:53,133 --> 02:08:56,433
[ Cheers and applause ]
2202
02:09:07,633 --> 02:09:10,233
[ Cheers and applause ]
2203
02:09:19,633 --> 02:09:22,333
[ Cheers and applause ]
2204
02:09:31,733 --> 02:09:33,900
[ Cheers and applause ]
153645
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