All language subtitles for Colin From Accounts (2022) S03E02 Clean Honest Open Transparent Love.en

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish Download
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian Download
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,068 --> 00:00:10,000 reads words on screen 2 00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:19,724 You're with Ditzy and Riptug 3 00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:22,206 on this Tuesday morning, smashing out the hits. 4 00:00:22,241 --> 00:00:25,241 Hey, who remembers this banger from 1986? 5 00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:31,620 Um, you... you know, 6 00:00:31,655 --> 00:00:34,482 you don't have to stay for this. 7 00:00:34,517 --> 00:00:35,413 - What? No. No. - Yeah. 8 00:00:35,482 --> 00:00:37,896 I want to meet the other love of your life. 9 00:00:37,931 --> 00:00:39,758 Oh, no, you don't. Don't say that. 10 00:00:39,793 --> 00:00:42,344 - No. I mean... I mean Colin. - Oh! 11 00:00:42,379 --> 00:00:43,586 Yes. 12 00:00:43,620 --> 00:00:45,241 This is important to you, 13 00:00:45,275 --> 00:00:46,896 you know, so it's important to me. 14 00:00:47,758 --> 00:00:48,758 - Just here? - Yeah. 15 00:00:48,793 --> 00:00:50,620 - Are we gonna fit? - Uh, yeah. 16 00:00:50,655 --> 00:00:53,517 There's so much room. 17 00:00:53,551 --> 00:00:54,896 We made it! 18 00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:57,310 Hey, thank you for being, like, 19 00:00:57,344 --> 00:00:59,689 the most patient, the most beautiful, 20 00:00:59,724 --> 00:01:02,448 the most sexiest driving teacher ever. 21 00:01:02,482 --> 00:01:04,689 I love you. 22 00:01:04,724 --> 00:01:07,517 Yeah, you too. Shall we go? 23 00:01:07,551 --> 00:01:08,931 Yeah, you go, I've just gotta do 24 00:01:08,965 --> 00:01:10,862 a couple of things for my allergies, pre-Colin. 25 00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,379 - Oh. - Yeah. 26 00:01:12,413 --> 00:01:14,034 Okay. 27 00:01:14,068 --> 00:01:16,758 - I'll see ya! - Okay. 28 00:01:16,793 --> 00:01:18,000 Love you... 29 00:01:27,482 --> 00:01:28,517 Hi. 30 00:01:30,551 --> 00:01:32,241 Hi! 31 00:01:33,379 --> 00:01:35,344 Hey, there she is. There she is. 32 00:01:37,103 --> 00:01:38,620 Hi. 33 00:01:40,689 --> 00:01:41,793 Yeah. 34 00:01:43,689 --> 00:01:46,827 Good boy! Good boy! 35 00:01:46,862 --> 00:01:49,655 I missed you so much! I did! 36 00:01:49,689 --> 00:01:51,689 Oh, I did. I missed you! 37 00:01:51,724 --> 00:01:53,896 - Hey! - Missed you! 38 00:01:53,931 --> 00:01:56,551 - Ooh. Hey! - He remembers you. 39 00:01:56,586 --> 00:01:58,586 Oh, I hope so. 40 00:01:58,620 --> 00:01:59,655 God. 41 00:01:59,689 --> 00:02:02,103 - Oh. Uh-oh. Don't turn around. - What is it? 42 00:02:02,137 --> 00:02:04,482 Nothing. Just don't turn around. It's a weird guy, weird guy. 43 00:02:04,517 --> 00:02:05,793 Shall we laugh? 44 00:02:07,965 --> 00:02:09,965 Anyway, should probably go now. 45 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,620 - Ha-ha! - Ahoy there! 46 00:02:11,655 --> 00:02:13,241 Ahoy, me hearty! He's coming. 47 00:02:13,275 --> 00:02:15,000 - Arr! - David? Oh. 48 00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:16,482 - What are you wearing? Sorry. - Hi. 49 00:02:16,517 --> 00:02:18,206 Gordon, this is David, allergic to dogs. 50 00:02:18,241 --> 00:02:19,655 - Gordon. - Hey! 51 00:02:19,689 --> 00:02:21,000 G'day. Good to meet you, finally. 52 00:02:21,034 --> 00:02:24,000 - David. Hello. - Hey. How you doing? 53 00:02:24,034 --> 00:02:25,517 - Good. - Sorry about the get-up. 54 00:02:25,551 --> 00:02:26,655 I'm just, um... 55 00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:27,965 I'm trying to limit the contact 56 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,896 with, uh, the dander in the fur. 57 00:02:29,931 --> 00:02:31,862 - That's really toxic. - The... 58 00:02:31,896 --> 00:02:32,758 - The dander. - The dander? 59 00:02:32,793 --> 00:02:33,965 - Yeah. - Oh. 60 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,620 - And the saliva. - Oh, right. 61 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,827 Both really, um, get to me, so... 62 00:02:37,862 --> 00:02:39,034 Did you need all that? 63 00:02:39,068 --> 00:02:40,551 Yeah, I'm just trying to be... 64 00:02:40,586 --> 00:02:41,724 - This is him, is it? - Yes. 65 00:02:41,758 --> 00:02:44,068 - This is the famous Colin. - Hello, Colin! 66 00:02:44,103 --> 00:02:45,275 He's not that scary. 67 00:02:45,310 --> 00:02:46,724 No! 68 00:02:46,758 --> 00:02:48,137 - Hi! - Okay. 69 00:02:48,172 --> 00:02:49,862 Oh, you don't have to touch him. 70 00:02:49,896 --> 00:02:51,103 Don't worry about it. 71 00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,724 Don't push yourself, you know? 72 00:02:52,758 --> 00:02:53,862 Okay. 73 00:02:53,896 --> 00:02:54,896 Oh, no! 74 00:02:54,931 --> 00:02:55,931 - What's wrong? - You right? 75 00:02:55,965 --> 00:02:57,275 - It's happening. - Oh, Jesus. 76 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,275 I knew it. Oh, God! 77 00:03:00,724 --> 00:03:02,068 Darl, are you all right? 78 00:03:02,103 --> 00:03:03,379 Uh... 79 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,689 It's okay. I'm just gonna be over here. 80 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,655 - Yeah. - No worries. 81 00:03:12,689 --> 00:03:14,241 He must have a lot of dander. 82 00:03:14,275 --> 00:03:16,310 Yeah, the dander. 83 00:03:18,103 --> 00:03:20,034 Don't. He's rea... He's really allergic. 84 00:03:20,068 --> 00:03:21,896 I didn't say anything. He's nice. 85 00:03:21,931 --> 00:03:23,379 He is really sweet, yeah. 86 00:03:23,413 --> 00:03:26,000 - You been together long or...? - Yeah, two and a half years. 87 00:03:26,034 --> 00:03:28,103 Okay. Oh, wow. Serious. 88 00:03:28,137 --> 00:03:30,103 Yeah, it's pretty ser... pretty serious. 89 00:03:30,137 --> 00:03:31,379 - All right. - How about you? 90 00:03:31,413 --> 00:03:32,931 Do you have a... 91 00:03:32,965 --> 00:03:34,275 ...girlfriend, boyfriend? 92 00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:36,620 Uh, me? Yeah. Yeah, I've got a girlfriend. 93 00:03:36,655 --> 00:03:37,724 Oh, really? 94 00:03:37,758 --> 00:03:39,724 - Ha-ha. Wow. - Yeah. 95 00:03:39,758 --> 00:03:41,655 Uh, Chelsea, she's a lawyer. 96 00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:42,724 Uh, been together about a year. 97 00:03:42,758 --> 00:03:43,862 This is good! 98 00:03:43,896 --> 00:03:46,137 Yeah, you've got a girlfriend. I've got a... 99 00:03:46,172 --> 00:03:47,137 Beekeeper. 100 00:03:47,172 --> 00:03:48,310 - Don't. - Sorry. 101 00:03:48,344 --> 00:03:50,068 I'm just saying, this is good. 102 00:03:50,103 --> 00:03:51,793 I'm relieved, actually. 103 00:03:51,827 --> 00:03:53,206 - Oh. - You've got... 104 00:03:53,241 --> 00:03:55,103 Yeah, we can be friends. We can be mates. 105 00:03:55,137 --> 00:03:56,758 - So now that we are mates... - Yes. 106 00:03:56,793 --> 00:03:59,517 ...um, why don't you guys come to my birthday party? 107 00:03:59,551 --> 00:04:01,896 - Oh, is it your birthday? - Yeah, in a few days. Yeah. 108 00:04:01,931 --> 00:04:03,965 And, uh, I know we never got to my birthday 109 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,241 when you and I were together, but I seem to remember 110 00:04:06,275 --> 00:04:07,758 celebrating your birthday almost constantly. 111 00:04:07,793 --> 00:04:09,172 Shut up. 112 00:04:09,206 --> 00:04:11,344 Why don't you come? If he makes it. 113 00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:15,379 Chelsea's organizing it. It's gonna be at the brewery. 114 00:04:15,413 --> 00:04:17,827 Yeah. You'll get to see everyone again. It'll be fun. 115 00:04:17,862 --> 00:04:20,758 Everyone? Oh, God. Okay. 116 00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:22,137 Should I go? 117 00:04:22,172 --> 00:04:24,379 Should I go, Collywobbles? 118 00:04:24,413 --> 00:04:26,965 Um, yeah, I'll think about it. 119 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,413 Hey, unrelated... 120 00:04:30,413 --> 00:04:32,931 Was that you I saw at the brewery the other day? 121 00:04:32,965 --> 00:04:33,896 When? 122 00:04:33,931 --> 00:04:35,758 It was the same day we met, actually. 123 00:04:35,793 --> 00:04:37,068 Later that day. Was that you? 124 00:04:37,103 --> 00:04:39,862 - A few days ago? - N... No. No, no, no. 125 00:04:39,896 --> 00:04:41,448 - Outside the brewery? - No. 126 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:42,931 - In a car? - Car? 127 00:04:42,965 --> 00:04:44,379 With wine? 128 00:04:44,413 --> 00:04:48,034 I'm off the grog right now, so it wasn't me. 129 00:04:48,068 --> 00:04:50,172 - Oh. I must have got that wrong. - Hey, Ash. 130 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,689 I think my throat's closing over. 131 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,172 You've got to go. His throat's closing over. 132 00:04:58,206 --> 00:05:00,310 Yeah, I've got to drive him. He's on his L's. 133 00:05:00,344 --> 00:05:02,379 - He's on his L's? - Shut up. 134 00:05:26,482 --> 00:05:27,965 Hey, Bretty boy. 135 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,448 I want to tell you something. 136 00:05:30,482 --> 00:05:32,344 I just want to get ahead of something, okay? 137 00:05:32,379 --> 00:05:34,448 Um, I'm going to tell you in confidence, 138 00:05:34,482 --> 00:05:37,172 and I don't... you're not allowed to hit me. 139 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,275 Okay? 140 00:05:38,310 --> 00:05:40,448 - You invited Ash, didn't you? - Yes, I did. 141 00:05:40,482 --> 00:05:42,551 No, no, no, no! She's bringing her boyfriend! 142 00:05:42,586 --> 00:05:44,275 - I'm gonna hit you. - She's bringing her boyfriend! 143 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:46,620 Got a boyfriend, yeah, okay? So it's fine. 144 00:05:46,655 --> 00:05:49,620 We can be mates. So it's aboveboard, mate. It's all fine. 145 00:05:49,655 --> 00:05:51,275 - Real talk, Gordo? - Yeah. 146 00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:53,172 - When she left you... - It was mutual, man. 147 00:05:53,206 --> 00:05:54,482 She left you, all right? 148 00:05:54,517 --> 00:05:56,241 And I've never seen you like that before. 149 00:05:56,275 --> 00:05:57,724 And I never want to again. 150 00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,068 You won't, man. 151 00:05:59,103 --> 00:06:00,482 As long as I've known you, Gordon, 152 00:06:00,517 --> 00:06:02,586 you've always been great with the ladies, yeah? 153 00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:05,310 You're like the Ronda Rousey of relationships. 154 00:06:05,344 --> 00:06:06,758 - Is that a UFC reference? - Yeah. 155 00:06:06,793 --> 00:06:08,724 Again, I don't get those references, man. 156 00:06:08,758 --> 00:06:11,482 - Ronda Rousey was undefeated. - Okay. 157 00:06:11,517 --> 00:06:14,034 - Her armbar's legendary. - I get it, I get it. 158 00:06:14,068 --> 00:06:16,586 Until she met Holly Holm, "The Preacher's Daughter." 159 00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:19,655 Point is, yep, I'm Ronda Rousey, um, Ash is Holly Holm. 160 00:06:19,689 --> 00:06:21,137 Yes, she destroyed my confidence. 161 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,793 - She took my heavyweight title. - Bantamweight. 162 00:06:22,827 --> 00:06:24,586 Bantamweight. Fuckin', I get it. 163 00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,655 It's fine, though. We're mates. She's coming. It's all good. 164 00:06:26,689 --> 00:06:28,620 We're mates. Everyone fuckin' relax. 165 00:06:30,965 --> 00:06:32,517 And, Bretty? 166 00:06:32,551 --> 00:06:35,413 Mate, if you hit me again, I'm gonna hit you back. 167 00:06:35,448 --> 00:06:37,586 - Okay. - Oh, okay. Fuckin'... 168 00:06:38,724 --> 00:06:40,137 But it's there. Yeah. 169 00:06:40,172 --> 00:06:41,862 - We're good? - We're good. 170 00:06:41,896 --> 00:06:42,965 I love you. 171 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,310 Love you too. Okay? 172 00:06:44,344 --> 00:06:45,862 But just... just don't poke the bear. 173 00:06:45,896 --> 00:06:47,517 - All right? - Okay. 174 00:06:51,275 --> 00:06:52,793 Hi. I'm Ashley. 175 00:06:52,827 --> 00:06:54,586 Thank you, I am fun. 176 00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:56,517 But I'm also a medical doctor. 177 00:06:56,551 --> 00:06:59,206 How do I know Gordon? We went out. 178 00:06:59,241 --> 00:07:01,206 It was short, but very meaningful. 179 00:07:01,241 --> 00:07:04,448 He's still in love with me. He's fuckin' obsessed with me. 180 00:07:04,482 --> 00:07:06,241 Can I look at your rash? 181 00:07:06,275 --> 00:07:07,793 Not right now. I'm at a party. 182 00:07:09,206 --> 00:07:10,482 Meggles! 183 00:07:12,655 --> 00:07:14,379 I'm overthinking it, aren't I? 184 00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:15,931 Is this a good party outfit? 185 00:07:15,965 --> 00:07:17,344 Is it a kids' party? 186 00:07:17,379 --> 00:07:18,344 Fuck! 187 00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:19,620 Okay, it's really important 188 00:07:19,655 --> 00:07:21,448 Gordon sees how hot you are. 189 00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:24,379 Firm agree. I had a dream about him last night. 190 00:07:24,413 --> 00:07:25,793 And... and we were on a beach, 191 00:07:25,827 --> 00:07:27,689 and I did a cartwheel in a bikini, 192 00:07:27,724 --> 00:07:30,413 and I looked so fuckin' good. 193 00:07:30,448 --> 00:07:33,517 Was it, like, your body or a dream body? 194 00:07:33,551 --> 00:07:34,896 Yes, it was my body. 195 00:07:34,931 --> 00:07:36,482 Oh, well, you know, sometimes it's... 196 00:07:36,517 --> 00:07:38,379 Yeah, okay. My tits were bigger. 197 00:07:38,413 --> 00:07:40,172 - Fuck off. - What's this, though? 198 00:07:40,206 --> 00:07:42,206 You look like you just got out of a cult. 199 00:07:42,241 --> 00:07:43,931 Fuckin' hell, man. 200 00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:44,965 Get it off. 201 00:07:45,034 --> 00:07:47,344 I need you to come with me. I need a wingman. 202 00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:49,172 No. You've got David. 203 00:07:49,206 --> 00:07:51,517 No, because he's coming after his fish market trial. 204 00:07:51,551 --> 00:07:53,827 He'll be late. Can't Rumi put Genre down? 205 00:07:53,862 --> 00:07:56,758 I don't trust her to put him down. 206 00:07:56,793 --> 00:07:58,344 I'm sorry? 207 00:07:58,379 --> 00:07:59,724 How did you hear that? 208 00:07:59,758 --> 00:08:01,620 No, it's not that I don't trust you. 209 00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:03,344 I can put him down, babe. 210 00:08:03,379 --> 00:08:06,827 Yeah, I know you can. It's just he's used to me doing it. 211 00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,551 Yeah, because you never let me do it. 212 00:08:08,586 --> 00:08:09,655 Is "put him down" right? 213 00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:10,862 - That is not true. - Sounds wrong. 214 00:08:10,896 --> 00:08:11,896 Megan, for fuck's sake... 215 00:08:11,965 --> 00:08:14,379 - Like, put him down. - ...I can put our boy down. 216 00:08:14,413 --> 00:08:15,586 And yes, Ash, that's the correct parlance. 217 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,965 - What the fuck are you wearing? - Party clothes! 218 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,896 Don't get mad at me. You're mad at her. 219 00:08:19,931 --> 00:08:21,517 Babe, listen. 220 00:08:21,551 --> 00:08:25,931 Babe, I just want you to relax, okay? Okay? 221 00:08:25,965 --> 00:08:30,896 I want you to let me help you. I want you to have a fun night. 222 00:08:30,931 --> 00:08:32,827 Yeah, come have a fun night. 223 00:08:32,862 --> 00:08:34,482 I won't be any fun, Ash. 224 00:08:34,517 --> 00:08:36,275 I'm not, like, a party girl anymore. 225 00:08:36,310 --> 00:08:37,862 I don't even drink anymore. 226 00:08:37,896 --> 00:08:39,448 Please? 227 00:08:39,482 --> 00:08:43,517 I guess I could do, like, a "mama's first night out" post. 228 00:08:43,551 --> 00:08:44,482 Ew. 229 00:08:44,517 --> 00:08:46,344 - Let's do a "get ready with me." - Ahh. 230 00:08:46,379 --> 00:08:47,517 Yes, actually, this is good. 231 00:08:47,551 --> 00:08:48,862 - No, this is good. - Ew. 232 00:08:57,551 --> 00:08:59,896 Hey, darling, can you just maybe make sure the people over there 233 00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:01,758 get it as well? 234 00:09:05,724 --> 00:09:06,896 I'm a brewery boy. 235 00:09:06,931 --> 00:09:08,482 Going out with a brewery boy, yeah. 236 00:09:08,517 --> 00:09:09,724 - Yeah. - Happy birthday! 237 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,241 Thanks, babe. Yeah, well, she threw this for me. 238 00:09:14,965 --> 00:09:16,827 I'm gonna go find Gordy. 239 00:09:16,862 --> 00:09:19,206 Where is he? Where's Gordon? 240 00:09:19,241 --> 00:09:20,827 - Could be good. - Yeah. 241 00:09:20,862 --> 00:09:22,862 Excuse me, sir. This is the dick police. 242 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,689 There's been a report that your dick's fucking way too small! 243 00:09:25,724 --> 00:09:27,103 - Cunt! - Okay. Fuckin' hell, man. 244 00:09:27,137 --> 00:09:29,655 - Huh? - Sorry. You're a cockhead. 245 00:09:29,689 --> 00:09:31,793 - Happy birthday, cuntstick. - Mate! 246 00:09:31,827 --> 00:09:34,068 Why'd you come here for? You didn't have to come to this. 247 00:09:34,103 --> 00:09:36,551 What are you fucking talking about? It's your birthday. 248 00:09:36,586 --> 00:09:38,517 - You'd do the same for me. - No, I wouldn't, mate. 249 00:09:38,551 --> 00:09:39,586 I've missed heaps of your birthdays. 250 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:40,896 Yeah, I know, 251 00:09:40,931 --> 00:09:42,551 'cause you're the fucking shitter brother, aren't you? 252 00:09:42,586 --> 00:09:44,000 - Hey? - Okay. All right, here we go. 253 00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:45,655 - Oh, thanks, mate. Cheers. - Cheers. 254 00:09:45,689 --> 00:09:47,827 Plus, it gets me away from fuckin' Katie, 255 00:09:47,862 --> 00:09:50,655 who's all "perimenopausal this, perimenopausal that." 256 00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:52,034 - Mm-hm. - Is it just me? 257 00:09:52,068 --> 00:09:54,068 Or did that shit start a couple of years ago? 258 00:09:54,103 --> 00:09:55,000 It's just you. 259 00:09:55,034 --> 00:09:56,689 Remember when Mummy got a bit weird 260 00:09:56,724 --> 00:09:58,827 and she just hit the Rieslings a bit harder 261 00:09:58,862 --> 00:10:00,793 and she fucking got on with it. 262 00:10:00,827 --> 00:10:03,000 You should start a podcast, man. Real Joe Rogan vibes. 263 00:10:03,034 --> 00:10:04,379 - Yeah? - Yeah. 264 00:10:04,413 --> 00:10:05,862 Thanks, man. That's really nice. 265 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,862 - Oh, you got it, man. - Is Ash here yet? 266 00:10:07,896 --> 00:10:09,931 - I don't think so, no. - Fuck! 267 00:10:09,965 --> 00:10:12,413 Ash and Chels at the same party. 268 00:10:12,448 --> 00:10:13,413 It's fine. 269 00:10:13,448 --> 00:10:14,793 That's some fucking big balls, cunt. 270 00:10:14,827 --> 00:10:16,965 That's some big motherfucking testes, son. 271 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:17,896 Okay. 272 00:10:17,931 --> 00:10:19,689 That's some fucking big balls on toast. 273 00:10:19,724 --> 00:10:22,000 - Keep it down, mate. - I'm gonna circulate, big balls. 274 00:10:22,034 --> 00:10:22,965 I'll see you soon. 275 00:10:24,068 --> 00:10:25,931 Um... 276 00:10:25,965 --> 00:10:27,448 Yes. Uh... 277 00:10:27,482 --> 00:10:28,517 - Stocks. - Mm-hm. 278 00:10:28,551 --> 00:10:29,758 - Shares? - Mm-hm. 279 00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:30,896 - Market. - Mmm. 280 00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:31,758 Yes. 281 00:10:31,827 --> 00:10:34,620 Fuck. Oh, my God. 282 00:10:34,655 --> 00:10:37,000 This was a mistake. Why did we come? 283 00:10:37,034 --> 00:10:38,413 Good. Let's go. 284 00:10:38,448 --> 00:10:39,793 I should get back to Genre. 285 00:10:39,827 --> 00:10:42,482 No, no, no, no. Don't do that. Let's stay. 286 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,793 Hey, just in time. 287 00:10:43,827 --> 00:10:45,137 - Hi. - Oh, my God. David! 288 00:10:45,172 --> 00:10:46,758 Oh, shit, David! What the fuck? 289 00:10:46,793 --> 00:10:47,931 A bit too fishy for you? 290 00:10:47,965 --> 00:10:50,724 Too fishy for anyone. Didn't you shower? 291 00:10:50,758 --> 00:10:54,172 I'm sorry. I didn't want to be late. It's not that bad, is it? 292 00:10:54,206 --> 00:10:55,068 - It's bad! - Hey. 293 00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:57,172 - Smells really bad. - Hey, there she is. 294 00:10:57,206 --> 00:10:59,655 - Hi! Oh, my God. - Hi. Ahh! 295 00:10:59,689 --> 00:11:01,655 - Meggles, how are you? - Bretty, how are you, mate? 296 00:11:01,689 --> 00:11:03,000 It's so nice to see you, mate. 297 00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:05,827 Yeah, good to see you too. And this must be your boyfriend. 298 00:11:05,862 --> 00:11:06,689 Fish? 299 00:11:06,758 --> 00:11:08,517 David. How are you? Good to see you. 300 00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:09,620 - Good you're here, mate. - Cool. 301 00:11:09,655 --> 00:11:10,620 Good you're here. 302 00:11:10,655 --> 00:11:12,206 - Ashley, hey. - Hey, Chi. 303 00:11:12,241 --> 00:11:14,965 How are you? Going good. Yeah. Good. 304 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,586 Hi. Too busy to say hello to your first lesbian girlfriend. 305 00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:19,517 - Oh, sorry, Chi. How are you? - Hello! 306 00:11:19,551 --> 00:11:20,896 It's just I'm checking on Genre. 307 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,482 It's actually my first night away. 308 00:11:22,517 --> 00:11:24,172 - Shondra? - Genre. 309 00:11:24,206 --> 00:11:26,689 - Uh-huh. - It means "origin" or "kind". 310 00:11:26,724 --> 00:11:29,137 Oh. And that is a child? 311 00:11:29,172 --> 00:11:31,000 - Yep. - Oh, congratula... 312 00:11:31,034 --> 00:11:31,965 Fuck, something smells... 313 00:11:32,034 --> 00:11:33,896 Something smells like a dead mermaid's vagina. 314 00:11:33,931 --> 00:11:37,344 No. I'm David. I'm Ashley's bloke. 315 00:11:37,379 --> 00:11:38,931 I've just been at the fish market. 316 00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,827 Oh. All good. Don't need to hug right now. 317 00:11:40,862 --> 00:11:42,103 We're gonna get a little drinkie. Please. 318 00:11:42,137 --> 00:11:44,000 - That'd be a good idea. - Go to the bar. 319 00:11:44,034 --> 00:11:47,034 Very handsome. And very smelly. 320 00:11:47,068 --> 00:11:48,689 Yeah. 321 00:11:48,724 --> 00:11:51,931 Anyway, being a mum is just, like, so full-on. 322 00:11:51,965 --> 00:11:53,103 You have no idea. 323 00:11:53,137 --> 00:11:56,000 Oh, I have some idea. I had three under five. 324 00:11:56,034 --> 00:11:57,448 - How old is she? - He. 325 00:11:57,482 --> 00:11:58,862 - 18 months. - Yeah, um... 326 00:11:58,896 --> 00:12:01,310 It's just, like, you don't realize how hard it's gonna be 327 00:12:01,344 --> 00:12:02,551 every moment, you know, every minute. 328 00:12:02,586 --> 00:12:04,206 - Correct. - What... what do they need? 329 00:12:04,241 --> 00:12:05,896 - Mm-hm. - How... how much has he eaten? 330 00:12:05,931 --> 00:12:07,310 - Mm-hm. - Has he slept enough? 331 00:12:07,344 --> 00:12:09,862 It is... It's, like, relentless, you know. 332 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,586 You... you only have one, though. You've just got the one. 333 00:12:12,620 --> 00:12:14,896 He's a toddler, though. And a boy. 334 00:12:14,931 --> 00:12:17,206 So I'm... I'm really in the trenches. 335 00:12:17,241 --> 00:12:21,034 I have three actual boys - 13, 11 and 8. 336 00:12:21,068 --> 00:12:23,000 I mean, I've got trench foot, trench mouth and dysentery. 337 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,034 I'm in the trenches. 338 00:12:24,068 --> 00:12:25,206 I think you've forgotten 339 00:12:25,241 --> 00:12:26,689 how hard toddlers are. 340 00:12:26,724 --> 00:12:28,931 Are you on crack? 'Cause I'm considering it. 341 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:32,137 And you know who I could buy it from? My 11-year-old. 342 00:12:32,172 --> 00:12:33,241 Ashy. 343 00:12:33,275 --> 00:12:34,689 - Oh, hi. - Hey. 344 00:12:34,724 --> 00:12:36,241 - Hi, Gordie. - Hey. 345 00:12:36,275 --> 00:12:37,758 There he is. Happy birthday. 346 00:12:37,793 --> 00:12:40,275 Hey, thank you. Thanks for coming. 347 00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:42,137 Thank you so much for inviting us. 348 00:12:42,172 --> 00:12:43,758 Yeah, of course. 349 00:12:43,793 --> 00:12:44,793 Is that salmon? 350 00:12:44,827 --> 00:12:45,793 Uh, hey, man. 351 00:12:45,827 --> 00:12:47,344 Yeah, I think, yep, it is. 352 00:12:47,379 --> 00:12:48,827 Hm. It's not fresh, I tell ya. 353 00:12:48,862 --> 00:12:50,172 - Is it not? - Mmm. Mm-mmm. 354 00:12:50,206 --> 00:12:51,931 Doesn't matter. Just say happy birthday, babe. 355 00:12:51,965 --> 00:12:53,655 - Sorry. Happy birthday, mate. - Yeah, thanks, mate. 356 00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:54,896 - Appreciate it. - Oh. 357 00:12:54,931 --> 00:12:56,172 - Oh! - Oh, no, no, no. 358 00:12:56,206 --> 00:12:58,206 - Come on. That's enough. - Oh, my God! Oh! 359 00:12:58,241 --> 00:12:59,931 I can smell that now. You're right. 360 00:12:59,965 --> 00:13:01,965 - That's off, isn't it? - Who does your fish? 361 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,482 - Did you eat this? - Oh, it's okay. 362 00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:05,896 I could eat a day-old prawn out of a dirty ashtray. 363 00:13:05,931 --> 00:13:06,931 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 364 00:13:06,965 --> 00:13:08,310 - Iron gut? - Yeah. 365 00:13:08,344 --> 00:13:09,344 - Feel it. - Ha-ha! 366 00:13:09,379 --> 00:13:10,586 - No, feel it. - It's all right. 367 00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:12,068 He can't. He's got no free hands. 368 00:13:12,103 --> 00:13:14,206 Throw that out. It's disgus... It's off. 369 00:13:14,241 --> 00:13:16,000 Can I just say, 370 00:13:16,034 --> 00:13:18,275 I think it's really sweet you guys have reconnected. 371 00:13:18,310 --> 00:13:19,758 Thanks. 372 00:13:19,793 --> 00:13:21,448 I'm still really close with my ex. 373 00:13:21,482 --> 00:13:23,241 Yeah, right. 374 00:13:23,275 --> 00:13:25,551 I'm sorry. That... that salmon's really hanging around, isn't it? 375 00:13:25,586 --> 00:13:26,586 - Yes. - That's terrible. 376 00:13:26,655 --> 00:13:29,241 You know what? Hey, just, you circulate. 377 00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:31,206 Got lots of people to talk to, birthday boy. 378 00:13:31,241 --> 00:13:32,241 - I'll find you later. - Okay. 379 00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:34,068 - Let's have a drink. Come on. - Good to see you. 380 00:13:34,103 --> 00:13:36,000 - Good to see you. - Wanna try some of your beers. 381 00:13:36,034 --> 00:13:37,482 - Yeah, all right. Yeah, do! - Yeah. 382 00:13:40,344 --> 00:13:42,275 I'm saying you got big balls, cunt! 383 00:13:42,310 --> 00:13:44,896 - Shut up, mate. - Big balls! 384 00:13:44,931 --> 00:13:46,517 Still alive or... 385 00:13:46,551 --> 00:13:49,586 S-sorry Chi. It's just... he usually goes down early. 386 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,827 - No, no. - Chi, can you not? 387 00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:53,827 I'm sure he's great, but no one wants to talk about your kid. 388 00:13:53,862 --> 00:13:54,793 - You're really boring now. - What? 389 00:13:54,827 --> 00:13:56,586 You've forgotten how to be at a party. 390 00:13:56,620 --> 00:14:00,310 - Ask me a fucking question. - Oh, sorry. Fuck. 391 00:14:00,344 --> 00:14:02,034 Um, okay. 392 00:14:03,241 --> 00:14:04,620 How are you? 393 00:14:04,655 --> 00:14:07,344 Oh, thanks for asking. I'm really good. I've got ADHD. 394 00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:09,034 - You've always had that. - No, that's new. 395 00:14:09,068 --> 00:14:09,965 Hmm. 396 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,620 Uh, Andre and I got back together. 397 00:14:11,655 --> 00:14:12,931 - What? - Which was great. 398 00:14:12,965 --> 00:14:16,310 Until it wasn't. And, uh, now we are open. 399 00:14:16,344 --> 00:14:17,275 - Holy shit! - Yeah. 400 00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:18,551 - Really? - Yeah. 401 00:14:18,586 --> 00:14:21,275 Well, what's that like? I mean, Rumi's pretty curious. 402 00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:24,206 It's pretty great, actually. Yeah. 403 00:14:24,241 --> 00:14:25,965 And the hardest thing about having an open relationship 404 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,137 is organizing child care. 405 00:14:27,172 --> 00:14:28,896 Hmm! Oh, my God. Tell me about it. 406 00:14:28,931 --> 00:14:31,103 - If I just want an hour... - Stop. 407 00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:32,758 - Just one hour... - I'm telling you about it. 408 00:14:32,793 --> 00:14:34,448 You're listening. You've got your listening ears on. 409 00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:39,517 - What are you drinking there? - Uh... 410 00:14:39,551 --> 00:14:41,965 Well, I mean, they are gonna be bankrupt 411 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,206 when you're done with them. 412 00:14:43,241 --> 00:14:45,103 I am all in. 413 00:14:45,137 --> 00:14:46,655 You have a good night, okay? 414 00:14:46,689 --> 00:14:48,620 - Thanks, Tobes. Thanks again. - Knock 'em dead. 415 00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:51,034 Stop it! 416 00:14:51,068 --> 00:14:53,310 Oh, wait, wait, wait. Sorry. Can I just fix that? 417 00:14:54,413 --> 00:14:56,586 Hi. You must be Chelsea. Hello. 418 00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:59,137 Hello! Um, what's your name? 419 00:14:59,172 --> 00:15:00,206 Ashley. 420 00:15:00,241 --> 00:15:02,413 Ashley. Hello, Ashley. 421 00:15:02,448 --> 00:15:04,551 Thanks so much for organizing this. 422 00:15:04,586 --> 00:15:06,413 Oh, yeah. Of course. 423 00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:08,172 - Chelsea! - Hi, darling. Hi. 424 00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:09,724 Nice to see you. 425 00:15:09,758 --> 00:15:12,448 Yeah. It's so good to see Heavy again. 426 00:15:12,482 --> 00:15:14,482 - Ohh. Good. - Yeah. 427 00:15:14,517 --> 00:15:16,551 We always got on so well. 428 00:15:19,103 --> 00:15:21,034 - Hmm. - Hmm! 429 00:15:22,482 --> 00:15:24,448 Did Dawn, um, come up? 430 00:15:24,482 --> 00:15:27,241 Uh, no. No. She was unable to. 431 00:15:27,275 --> 00:15:28,379 Oh, shame. 432 00:15:28,413 --> 00:15:31,000 Oh, my gosh. Stop it! 433 00:15:31,034 --> 00:15:33,310 - Get out of here. - You stop it. 434 00:15:33,344 --> 00:15:35,724 I was there when Brian died. 435 00:15:35,758 --> 00:15:37,206 Yeah. 436 00:15:37,241 --> 00:15:38,862 Yeah, when he passed away, I was there. 437 00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:40,758 - It was terrible. - Oh, no, it's... Yeah. 438 00:15:40,793 --> 00:15:44,413 Such a shock. Like, for everyone. 439 00:15:44,448 --> 00:15:47,034 - Yeah. I'm sure that was. Yeah. - Yeah. 440 00:15:47,068 --> 00:15:49,034 So, I was, uh, actually there. 441 00:15:49,068 --> 00:15:52,551 Like, I was physically there next to Gordon. 442 00:15:52,586 --> 00:15:54,206 - Oh, really? - Yes. 443 00:15:54,241 --> 00:15:55,551 'Cause I was his girlfriend. 444 00:15:55,586 --> 00:15:57,275 - Oh. Oh, yes. - Yeah. 445 00:15:57,310 --> 00:15:58,103 - Okay. Yeah. - Yeah. 446 00:15:58,172 --> 00:15:59,758 - At the time. - That makes total sense. 447 00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:00,827 Yeah. We were boyfriend-girlfriend. 448 00:16:00,862 --> 00:16:02,344 Anyway, I'm sorry. 449 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:04,758 If you'll excuse me, I have to go feed the dog. 450 00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:06,482 - Oh, Colin's here? - Yeah. 451 00:16:06,517 --> 00:16:09,413 Yeah, he's in the office because someone's allergic, apparently. 452 00:16:09,448 --> 00:16:11,206 Oh, are they? Yeah. Well, I can... 453 00:16:11,241 --> 00:16:12,862 You're busy. I can feed him. 454 00:16:12,896 --> 00:16:14,586 Oh, no, that's fine. He needs medicine. 455 00:16:14,620 --> 00:16:15,758 I know. 456 00:16:15,793 --> 00:16:17,931 Yeah, but he's just a bit nervous. 457 00:16:17,965 --> 00:16:20,655 He doesn't... he doesn't take food from just anyone. 458 00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,724 I'm not just anyone. 459 00:16:22,758 --> 00:16:24,482 No. Of course not. 460 00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:27,379 - You are Ashley. - That's it. 461 00:16:27,413 --> 00:16:28,586 - Yeah. - Yes. 462 00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,413 - Anyway, have a good night! - Oh, you too. 463 00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:31,448 - Nice to meet you. - Uh-huh. 464 00:16:33,896 --> 00:16:36,448 ♪ It's time to let, let go... 465 00:16:36,482 --> 00:16:39,275 ♪ Let go, let go... 466 00:16:39,310 --> 00:16:41,103 ♪ Let go It's time to let... ♪ 467 00:16:41,137 --> 00:16:42,862 Fucking great. 468 00:16:42,896 --> 00:16:44,482 - ♪ It's time to let go... - Ashy, is that you? 469 00:16:44,517 --> 00:16:48,310 Meggles. Oh, my God. This is rough, hey? 470 00:16:48,344 --> 00:16:49,413 - Is it? - Yeah. 471 00:16:49,448 --> 00:16:51,137 - Can I have some toilet paper? - Hm. 472 00:16:51,172 --> 00:16:54,517 Boo, I just met Chelsea, Gordon's new girlfriend. 473 00:16:54,551 --> 00:16:55,620 - Yeah. - Yeah. 474 00:16:55,655 --> 00:16:58,482 She's so fucking beautiful, I want to kill myself. 475 00:16:58,517 --> 00:16:59,793 I bet she isn't. 476 00:16:59,827 --> 00:17:03,551 She is. And she's, like, fucking crazy confident. 477 00:17:03,586 --> 00:17:07,000 She's like a hot robot of an old movie star. 478 00:17:07,034 --> 00:17:09,862 I look like a fucking homeless person next to her. 479 00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:11,931 A person currently experiencing houselessness? 480 00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:15,000 Not even. Just a full homeless person. 481 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,517 - Oh, shit. - Yeah. 482 00:17:16,551 --> 00:17:19,655 And her eye contact was, like, fucking crazy. 483 00:17:19,689 --> 00:17:21,793 She was, like, staring at the back of my head. 484 00:17:21,827 --> 00:17:23,448 I felt like all my clothes fell off. 485 00:17:23,482 --> 00:17:24,827 Jesus. 486 00:17:24,862 --> 00:17:27,586 I don't even think she's ever heard of me. 487 00:17:27,620 --> 00:17:28,862 No?! 488 00:17:28,896 --> 00:17:30,172 Yeah. 489 00:17:30,206 --> 00:17:33,275 Do number twos at home, thanks. I don't want to hear it. 490 00:17:33,310 --> 00:17:34,620 Mum? 491 00:17:34,655 --> 00:17:35,965 Oh, there you are. 492 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,965 What the fuck? 493 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:41,344 Oh, they discontinued this lipstick. I'm devastated. 494 00:17:41,379 --> 00:17:45,068 Mum, it is so inappropriate that you are here. 495 00:17:45,103 --> 00:17:48,034 I could say the same, Ashley Marie. 496 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,896 No, you couldn't, because he invited me. 497 00:17:49,931 --> 00:17:51,413 What are you doing here? 498 00:17:51,448 --> 00:17:53,862 Well, Megan posted on her Insta stories. 499 00:17:53,896 --> 00:17:56,896 Hello, Lynelle. 500 00:17:58,448 --> 00:18:00,137 I didn't realize you still followed me. 501 00:18:00,172 --> 00:18:02,103 Oh, hello, Megan. 502 00:18:03,551 --> 00:18:04,793 How's your dad? 503 00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:08,000 Why don't you return his calls and find out? 504 00:18:08,034 --> 00:18:09,827 I don't think there's much more to say. 505 00:18:09,862 --> 00:18:11,137 He doesn't feel that way. 506 00:18:12,344 --> 00:18:15,137 Has anybody met Gordon's new girlfriend? 507 00:18:15,172 --> 00:18:19,862 She's so elegant, and her skin is amazing. 508 00:18:19,896 --> 00:18:23,793 Oh, you never stood a chance with all your sun damage. 509 00:18:23,827 --> 00:18:25,103 Mum, it's freckles. 510 00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,965 They're freckles when you're a child, darling. 511 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,931 At your age, it's sun damage. 512 00:18:30,586 --> 00:18:32,448 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah-hey 513 00:18:34,551 --> 00:18:35,655 I nearly went with Trout of This World. 514 00:18:35,689 --> 00:18:36,517 Uh-huh. 515 00:18:36,551 --> 00:18:38,000 But actually I've ended up with... 516 00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:41,206 "Benefit of the Trout." 517 00:18:41,241 --> 00:18:42,862 Yeah. 518 00:18:42,896 --> 00:18:45,689 Did you consider, um, Shadow of a Trout? 519 00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:47,896 Mmm. But... no. 520 00:18:47,931 --> 00:18:49,689 - Out and A-trout? - Uh-uh. 521 00:18:49,724 --> 00:18:51,000 - Trout of Control? - Uhh. 522 00:18:51,034 --> 00:18:52,068 - Trout for a Duck? - Mm. 523 00:18:52,103 --> 00:18:54,172 Trout, Trout, Let It All Out? 524 00:18:54,206 --> 00:18:56,827 - No Diggity, No Trout? - Uh-uh. 525 00:18:56,862 --> 00:18:58,241 I don't know what that is. 526 00:18:58,275 --> 00:19:00,482 Standing on the Trout-side Looking In? 527 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,620 You've already done that hand. 528 00:19:03,655 --> 00:19:04,896 Yeah, that's done that. 529 00:19:04,931 --> 00:19:06,000 - You did that one. - Yeah. 530 00:19:06,034 --> 00:19:07,931 Yeah, that's well clean. 531 00:19:09,172 --> 00:19:10,689 - Gordon? - Present. 532 00:19:10,724 --> 00:19:11,896 - Sorry. - Hey. 533 00:19:11,931 --> 00:19:12,827 Hi. 534 00:19:12,862 --> 00:19:14,965 Um, sorry, there's no one at the bar, 535 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,758 and Mum would like some Chablis or albariño. 536 00:19:18,793 --> 00:19:19,758 Lynelle is here? 537 00:19:19,793 --> 00:19:20,965 Of course. 538 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,758 Yeah, of course she is. 539 00:19:22,793 --> 00:19:25,827 Um, I might have. Do you want to... I'll just check. 540 00:19:29,758 --> 00:19:31,172 Um... 541 00:19:31,206 --> 00:19:33,103 Ooh. Chilly. 542 00:19:33,137 --> 00:19:35,344 - Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? - Mmm. 543 00:19:35,379 --> 00:19:37,241 You, uh, having fun at your old mate's party? 544 00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:38,206 I am. 545 00:19:38,241 --> 00:19:39,896 Good. Told you we could be mates. 546 00:19:39,931 --> 00:19:42,000 - I know we could be mates. - Door's closing, door's closing. 547 00:19:42,034 --> 00:19:43,310 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! 548 00:19:43,344 --> 00:19:44,241 Fuck it. 549 00:19:44,310 --> 00:19:46,137 - Oh! - Oh, sorry, it's on a timer. 550 00:19:46,172 --> 00:19:47,655 Oh, my God, you're joking. 551 00:19:47,689 --> 00:19:49,103 No. It happens six times a day. 552 00:19:49,137 --> 00:19:50,310 It's fine. I'll just text Chi. 553 00:19:50,344 --> 00:19:52,103 - Where's your phone? - I left it here. 554 00:19:53,241 --> 00:19:54,724 Uh, somewhere. 555 00:19:55,931 --> 00:19:57,310 Uh, I did leave it here. 556 00:19:57,344 --> 00:19:59,068 - Hey, there you are. - Sorry. 557 00:19:59,103 --> 00:20:01,931 ♪ Can you make me feel all right? ♪ 558 00:20:01,965 --> 00:20:04,172 ♪ Tonight... 559 00:20:05,827 --> 00:20:08,172 ♪ I'll dream forever... 560 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,068 ♪ Midnight... 561 00:20:12,103 --> 00:20:13,206 Yeah. 562 00:20:16,103 --> 00:20:17,827 Well, around the base of the beak, 563 00:20:17,862 --> 00:20:20,344 if you press through from the other side with your thumbs 564 00:20:20,379 --> 00:20:23,862 and you just push it through, then the beak fully comes out. 565 00:20:23,896 --> 00:20:26,896 Octopuses have beaks? 566 00:20:26,931 --> 00:20:28,724 Yeah, and if you bake them for an hour, 567 00:20:28,758 --> 00:20:30,241 they taste like a chip. 568 00:20:30,275 --> 00:20:31,206 Do you know that octopuses 569 00:20:31,241 --> 00:20:33,689 are at least as intelligent as Labradors? 570 00:20:33,724 --> 00:20:35,206 Fuck off. 571 00:20:35,241 --> 00:20:36,793 I'd never eat a Labrador. 572 00:20:36,827 --> 00:20:38,827 You ever been to China? 573 00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:40,793 You get what you're given there, mate. 574 00:20:40,827 --> 00:20:41,793 I haven't. 575 00:20:41,827 --> 00:20:43,172 But I have eaten some weird things. 576 00:20:43,206 --> 00:20:44,793 Oh! Gordy's locked in the cool room. 577 00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:46,068 - Is he? - Yep. 578 00:20:46,103 --> 00:20:48,000 I'm gonna have to go. I'll leave you here. 579 00:20:48,034 --> 00:20:49,206 No, I'll take care of that. 580 00:20:49,241 --> 00:20:50,689 - No, no, that's... - No, no, I insist. 581 00:20:50,724 --> 00:20:52,724 - No, I insist. It's my phone. - I insist. 582 00:20:52,758 --> 00:20:54,137 - He might need me. - It's all good. 583 00:20:54,172 --> 00:20:55,931 - Chi, I'm putting my foot down. - Are ya? 584 00:20:55,965 --> 00:20:57,310 - I'm insisting. - Are ya? 585 00:20:57,344 --> 00:21:00,103 - I've eaten, uh, crocodile. - Mm-hm. Yeah. 586 00:21:00,137 --> 00:21:01,413 - Frogs. - Oh. 587 00:21:01,448 --> 00:21:05,000 - Um, tarantula in Cambodia. - Oh. Mm-hm. 588 00:21:05,034 --> 00:21:05,931 Which is like a delicacy. 589 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,482 - A horse, by mistake. - Oh. 590 00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:09,482 That's... That's actually a funny story. 591 00:21:09,517 --> 00:21:11,000 Is it? Go on, then. 592 00:21:11,034 --> 00:21:12,482 Well, I didn't think it was a horse. 593 00:21:12,517 --> 00:21:13,689 - Yep. - But it was. 594 00:21:14,517 --> 00:21:16,793 And then that's the end of the story, is it? 595 00:21:16,827 --> 00:21:18,206 Yep. 596 00:21:23,655 --> 00:21:25,275 Ahh, I see. 597 00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:27,172 No, you didn't. Nothing to see. 598 00:21:27,206 --> 00:21:29,068 Oh, no, I do. I've got eyes in my head. 599 00:21:29,103 --> 00:21:30,413 - No, you don't. - Hi. 600 00:21:30,448 --> 00:21:34,137 You okay, Ash? All alone here in the dark with Gordon? 601 00:21:34,172 --> 00:21:35,275 Oh, God, yeah. 602 00:21:35,310 --> 00:21:37,034 - Oh. That's nice. - Cool. 603 00:21:37,068 --> 00:21:38,896 Just met your boyfriend. 604 00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:40,275 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 605 00:21:40,310 --> 00:21:41,931 Doesn't smell great, 606 00:21:41,965 --> 00:21:44,689 but at least he's boring and licks his fingers a lot. 607 00:21:44,724 --> 00:21:46,551 - Okay. - Yeah. 608 00:21:46,586 --> 00:21:47,827 Cool, cool. 609 00:21:47,862 --> 00:21:50,034 - After you. - Thank you so much. 610 00:21:50,068 --> 00:21:51,827 That's all right, Ash. 611 00:21:58,137 --> 00:22:02,000 I mean, men have been playing second fiddle for too long. 612 00:22:02,034 --> 00:22:04,000 - Yeah, right. - They've lost their voice. 613 00:22:04,034 --> 00:22:05,517 Yeah, sure, I guess. 614 00:22:05,551 --> 00:22:07,137 And that's not right. 615 00:22:07,172 --> 00:22:10,172 - Big, strong alpha like you. - Mm-hm. 616 00:22:10,206 --> 00:22:12,068 Do you have a girlfriend? 617 00:22:12,103 --> 00:22:14,103 Yeah, Carmen. It's online. 618 00:22:14,137 --> 00:22:16,379 But we haven't met yet. But, uh... 619 00:22:16,413 --> 00:22:19,793 All the more reason to establish the rules of engagement. 620 00:22:19,827 --> 00:22:21,310 Yeah, right. 621 00:22:21,344 --> 00:22:24,517 You need to say, "I'm the man of the house." 622 00:22:24,551 --> 00:22:25,586 Yeah, right. 623 00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:26,793 Say it! 624 00:22:28,103 --> 00:22:29,068 What? 625 00:22:29,103 --> 00:22:31,206 Say, "I'm the man of the house." 626 00:22:31,241 --> 00:22:33,000 I'm the man of the house. 627 00:22:33,034 --> 00:22:34,965 - Again. - Again. 628 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,206 No. 629 00:22:36,241 --> 00:22:38,172 Say, "I'm the man of the house" again. 630 00:22:38,206 --> 00:22:40,137 I'm the man of the house again. 631 00:22:40,172 --> 00:22:41,344 No. 632 00:22:42,655 --> 00:22:43,517 No? 633 00:22:43,586 --> 00:22:47,586 Everyone, if I can have your attention. 634 00:22:47,620 --> 00:22:49,517 Thank you. 635 00:22:49,551 --> 00:22:51,482 - Bit of shush. - Hey, birthday boy. Speech time. 636 00:22:51,517 --> 00:22:52,965 - Hey. - A bit of shush, please. 637 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,206 - Should probably go over there. - That's okay. 638 00:22:54,241 --> 00:22:59,068 I, um... I first met Gordon 18 months ago 639 00:22:59,103 --> 00:23:04,137 when we held a work function here at this very brewery. 640 00:23:04,172 --> 00:23:08,034 And so I met this brew head or head brew man. 641 00:23:08,068 --> 00:23:10,068 Or whatever it's called. 642 00:23:10,103 --> 00:23:15,448 And he says to me, "I am going to kiss you in six minutes." 643 00:23:15,482 --> 00:23:17,172 - Oh, no! - Ooh-hoo! 644 00:23:17,206 --> 00:23:21,000 Right? I know! Outrageous. 645 00:23:21,034 --> 00:23:24,172 And I thought, yeah, well, you know, that's very forward. 646 00:23:24,206 --> 00:23:25,827 It's a bit intense, actually. 647 00:23:25,862 --> 00:23:28,172 But then... he did. 648 00:23:28,206 --> 00:23:30,586 It's a good move. 649 00:23:30,620 --> 00:23:34,931 And then I thought, "Well, there is a man who follows through!" 650 00:23:37,482 --> 00:23:42,551 And I thought, "Ah! He's single, no kids, not fat. Unicorn!" 651 00:23:45,137 --> 00:23:47,517 Oh, my gosh, she's so funny. 652 00:23:47,551 --> 00:23:50,413 Um, no, seriously, guys. 653 00:23:50,448 --> 00:23:52,896 Gordon, you are a very hardworking 654 00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,586 and loyal life partner. 655 00:23:54,620 --> 00:23:59,413 And... I know, we can't always agree what to watch on TV. 656 00:23:59,448 --> 00:24:03,172 But you usually give in and we watch my shows! 657 00:24:04,689 --> 00:24:07,586 I mean, what more could a girl ask for? 658 00:24:07,620 --> 00:24:10,586 Except perhaps a rock on my finger. Hint, hint. 659 00:24:10,620 --> 00:24:11,827 Got it. Got it. 660 00:24:11,862 --> 00:24:12,793 Got it! 661 00:24:12,827 --> 00:24:14,241 Love you, Gooby. 662 00:24:14,275 --> 00:24:17,137 So let's all raise a glass 663 00:24:17,172 --> 00:24:22,482 and wish a very happy birthday to my Gooby, Gordon. 664 00:24:22,517 --> 00:24:23,586 To Gordon! 665 00:24:23,620 --> 00:24:26,482 - Happy birthday! - Happy birthday. 666 00:24:26,517 --> 00:24:28,413 - Happy birthday. - Happy birthday. 667 00:24:28,448 --> 00:24:30,206 Come on. I just need a second. 668 00:24:30,241 --> 00:24:31,689 There's no... There's no speeches. 669 00:24:31,724 --> 00:24:34,000 Heavy, Heavy, Heavy. No more speeches. 670 00:24:34,034 --> 00:24:35,275 - Just let... - Okay. 671 00:24:35,310 --> 00:24:36,793 ...me say some words. Come on, Chels. 672 00:24:36,827 --> 00:24:38,310 Give it to me. 673 00:24:38,344 --> 00:24:40,206 I'll introduce you. Oh, my God! 674 00:24:40,241 --> 00:24:41,413 Hey, look at that. 675 00:24:41,448 --> 00:24:44,965 Everyone, this is, um, Alistair, Gordon's brother! 676 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,413 Whoo! 677 00:24:46,448 --> 00:24:48,275 Hand it over. Fuckin' hell, 678 00:24:48,310 --> 00:24:49,827 I had to work hard for that one. 679 00:24:50,862 --> 00:24:51,931 Uh, firstly, 680 00:24:51,965 --> 00:24:53,413 a big thanks to Chels 681 00:24:53,448 --> 00:24:55,448 for putting on this do for Flash. 682 00:24:55,482 --> 00:24:57,482 Round of applause, everyone. Come on! 683 00:24:58,931 --> 00:25:02,344 What do you reckon, eh? She spared no expense. 684 00:25:02,379 --> 00:25:03,724 Especially since she got the venue 685 00:25:03,758 --> 00:25:05,965 and all the piss for free. 686 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,241 Oh, yeah. 687 00:25:09,275 --> 00:25:10,551 Uh, no, no, no. 688 00:25:10,586 --> 00:25:12,758 But, look, in all seriousness... 689 00:25:13,655 --> 00:25:14,724 ...it's just so great 690 00:25:14,793 --> 00:25:17,689 that Flash has just finally found the right girl. 691 00:25:17,724 --> 00:25:20,827 You just know when two people are meant to be together 692 00:25:20,862 --> 00:25:24,758 and they just fully... they fully get each other. 693 00:25:24,793 --> 00:25:27,931 And there's just no doubt about it or anything. 694 00:25:27,965 --> 00:25:30,482 You know, I mean, tonight he's brought Ash. 695 00:25:30,517 --> 00:25:31,517 No. Um... 696 00:25:31,551 --> 00:25:33,448 Chelsea's really cool with it. 697 00:25:33,482 --> 00:25:36,172 It's just such clean, honest, 698 00:25:36,206 --> 00:25:40,448 open, transparent love. 699 00:25:40,482 --> 00:25:42,793 And everyone's really, really cool about it. 700 00:25:42,827 --> 00:25:46,413 Uh, okay. All right. Well, that's about all from me. 701 00:25:46,448 --> 00:25:50,275 Oh, no. Some words of advice, Flash. 702 00:25:50,310 --> 00:25:54,724 As our dear departed dad said to me on my wedding day... 703 00:25:56,482 --> 00:25:59,172 ...when the river runs red, take the dirt road instead. 704 00:25:59,206 --> 00:26:00,724 - Okay. Thank you. - Am I right? 705 00:26:00,758 --> 00:26:02,482 Yeah. That's right. 706 00:26:02,517 --> 00:26:04,241 - Thank you, Heavy. - That's right! 707 00:26:04,275 --> 00:26:06,586 Let's fucking party! 708 00:26:09,965 --> 00:26:11,793 - Cheers, mate. - Cheers, mate. 709 00:26:11,827 --> 00:26:13,448 What a speech. 710 00:26:22,862 --> 00:26:26,034 ♪ I don't wanna hear about that kind of day you had ♪ 711 00:26:26,068 --> 00:26:30,000 ♪ Or what happened on the job that made you mad ♪ 712 00:26:30,034 --> 00:26:34,000 ♪ Tonight I don't wanna just stay at home ♪ 713 00:26:34,034 --> 00:26:38,206 ♪ Let's find a little club where we can be alone... ♪ 714 00:26:38,241 --> 00:26:39,793 Have you said it? 715 00:26:39,827 --> 00:26:42,482 Like, "I'm the man of the house." 716 00:26:42,517 --> 00:26:45,482 I don't have to say it. I am the man of the house. 717 00:26:45,517 --> 00:26:46,620 Oh. 718 00:26:47,965 --> 00:26:49,413 Yes. 719 00:26:49,448 --> 00:26:50,896 Ooh, I felt that. 720 00:26:51,896 --> 00:26:53,379 You are. 721 00:26:53,413 --> 00:26:55,448 Yeah, I know. 722 00:26:57,068 --> 00:26:58,137 Well done. 723 00:26:58,172 --> 00:27:01,689 ♪ I feel so romantic 724 00:27:01,724 --> 00:27:05,793 ♪ I want you to whisper in my ear sweet... ♪ 725 00:27:05,827 --> 00:27:07,517 I'm going to get you another drink, Lynelle. 726 00:27:07,551 --> 00:27:10,172 I want that one finished when I get back. 727 00:27:10,206 --> 00:27:11,551 Okay. 728 00:27:11,586 --> 00:27:14,931 ♪ Dance, dance, dance 729 00:27:14,965 --> 00:27:18,827 ♪ It's been a while since we had a good time ♪ 730 00:27:18,862 --> 00:27:20,931 ♪ So much pressure's been... 731 00:27:20,965 --> 00:27:21,862 You're so... 732 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,241 ...elegant and tall! 733 00:27:24,275 --> 00:27:27,931 Ah! Thanks. [Laughs] Ohh. 734 00:27:27,965 --> 00:27:29,827 Is your skin care Korean? 735 00:27:29,862 --> 00:27:30,827 It is! 736 00:27:30,862 --> 00:27:32,310 - It is? - Yes! 737 00:27:32,344 --> 00:27:34,517 I knew it! I knew it! 738 00:27:41,620 --> 00:27:43,862 - Hey, drunky, your Uber's here. - Ahh. 739 00:27:43,896 --> 00:27:46,172 - You're not my wife. - You wish. 740 00:27:46,206 --> 00:27:47,724 Go. It's out this way. 741 00:27:47,758 --> 00:27:49,793 - Shall we call it? - Yeah. 742 00:27:49,827 --> 00:27:53,068 Hey, Gordon, we're gonna head out. Happy birthday, mate. 743 00:27:53,103 --> 00:27:54,896 Cheers, mate. 744 00:27:54,931 --> 00:27:56,137 Bye. 745 00:27:57,862 --> 00:27:59,689 Flash. Flash. 746 00:27:59,724 --> 00:28:01,931 - Okay, Uberino time. - Happy birthday. 747 00:28:01,965 --> 00:28:04,965 Actually, I might walk home, if you don't mind. 748 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,310 - Oh, I'm happy to walk. - No, no, you Uber. I don't mind. 749 00:28:07,344 --> 00:28:09,655 Hell, no. Let's perambulate. 750 00:28:09,689 --> 00:28:11,103 Okay. 751 00:28:11,137 --> 00:28:12,517 - Bye-bye. - Mm-hm. 752 00:28:12,551 --> 00:28:15,827 Thanks for coming, Ashley and David. 753 00:28:17,827 --> 00:28:19,689 So, I'll just group all of these over here 754 00:28:19,724 --> 00:28:21,827 so it's easy for when you empty the recycling. 755 00:28:21,862 --> 00:28:23,551 It's okay, Chels, I'll do that. I can do that. 756 00:28:23,586 --> 00:28:25,034 Let's put the cans on this side. 757 00:28:25,068 --> 00:28:26,793 Chelsea, I know how to clean the bar. 758 00:28:28,172 --> 00:28:29,137 What's wrong? 759 00:28:29,172 --> 00:28:31,241 - No, nothing. Sorry. - Oh. 760 00:28:31,275 --> 00:28:32,827 - You all right? - Yeah. 761 00:28:32,862 --> 00:28:34,034 Yeah. 762 00:28:34,068 --> 00:28:35,310 Hey, I...I met your ex. 763 00:28:35,344 --> 00:28:36,793 Oh, yeah? 764 00:28:36,827 --> 00:28:39,896 - Yeah. She's sweet. - Yeah. 765 00:28:39,931 --> 00:28:41,827 - Quirky. - Yeah. 766 00:28:41,862 --> 00:28:43,344 - Not really your type. - Nah. 767 00:28:43,379 --> 00:28:45,724 I'm your type. 768 00:28:45,758 --> 00:28:47,172 Yes, you are. 769 00:28:47,206 --> 00:28:49,275 - Did you have fun? - Yeah. 770 00:28:49,310 --> 00:28:50,793 - Good. - Mmm. 771 00:28:52,448 --> 00:28:56,068 You deserve good things. Love you. 772 00:28:56,103 --> 00:28:57,965 I love you. 773 00:29:00,137 --> 00:29:01,586 Ohh. 774 00:29:01,620 --> 00:29:02,896 - Oh, sorry. That was... - Oh, yuck! 775 00:29:02,931 --> 00:29:04,206 - Yeah. Sorry. - Yuck, yuck. 776 00:29:04,241 --> 00:29:06,241 - ♪ Don't fuck me over... - You all right? 777 00:29:06,275 --> 00:29:07,482 Yeah. 778 00:29:07,517 --> 00:29:10,000 - ♪ Sweet darlin'... - It's just yuck. 779 00:29:10,862 --> 00:29:12,586 ♪ 'Cause I am the only... 780 00:29:12,620 --> 00:29:14,206 So good to meet those guys. 781 00:29:14,241 --> 00:29:15,413 Yeah. 782 00:29:15,448 --> 00:29:17,137 - Really good people. - Yeah. 783 00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:19,931 Well, of course they're good people. You're a good person. 784 00:29:20,758 --> 00:29:22,896 Well, you're the best person. 785 00:29:22,931 --> 00:29:24,172 Thank you. 786 00:29:24,206 --> 00:29:25,517 ♪ Sweet darlin'... 787 00:29:25,551 --> 00:29:27,482 I know I might be biased, but still... 788 00:29:27,517 --> 00:29:28,793 ♪ I am the only... 789 00:29:28,827 --> 00:29:30,551 I think you're pretty bloody great. 790 00:29:30,586 --> 00:29:32,310 ♪ One you should see... 791 00:29:32,344 --> 00:29:34,275 Thanks, David. 792 00:29:35,241 --> 00:29:37,310 ♪ Ooh 793 00:29:41,896 --> 00:29:45,000 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh 794 00:29:49,896 --> 00:29:52,827 ♪ Don't fuck me over 795 00:29:54,310 --> 00:29:56,827 ♪ Sweet darlin' 796 00:29:57,482 --> 00:30:00,931 ♪ 'Cause I am the only 797 00:30:01,965 --> 00:30:04,103 ♪ One you should see 56449

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.