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1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:02,877
[reporter] Last drive of the game,
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00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:05,922
fourth down, you're trailing by three.
3
00:00:05,923 --> 00:00:10,344
Chad, was there any debate whether
to go forward over trying the field goal?
4
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:13,012
You have to ask Coach Hudson.
5
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,723
We're the better team.
We're not playing like it, but we are.
6
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:18,434
And the better team doesn't have
to just push all the chips in...
7
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:19,519
- Coach!
- ...in one play.
8
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,603
- Give me the ball.
- What?!
9
00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,772
I will win this game right now.
I swear to God.
10
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:25,983
[reporter 2] Coach Hudson,
the analytics say go for the touchdown.
11
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,402
What made you decide to kick it?
12
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,656
Ricky... what do you think?
13
00:00:32,406 --> 00:00:35,493
This weather sucks.
It's hurt Chad's accuracy all day.
14
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,620
I-I'd play for overtime.
15
00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:38,121
[Chad] Coach.
16
00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,541
- Field goal unit!
- Coach!
17
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,876
You wanna talk about analytics?
18
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:44,711
Alright.
19
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:48,923
I tell you what,
how 'bout I run a simulation
20
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,550
where you ask a stupid-ass question
21
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,386
and then you see how I react?
22
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,471
Here, I'm runnin' it right now.
Guess what?
23
00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:58,349
Hundred times out of a hundred,
it's gonna piss me off.
24
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Coach, let me finish this.
25
00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:00,852
- Please let--
- Powers!
26
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:02,895
Sit your ass down!
27
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,398
You want me to be AI, huh?
28
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,858
You want an AI coach?
29
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Machine learnin'?
Jack into my brain!
30
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That's the only analytics I need. Jack in!
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[crowd booing]
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This is real life!
This is not a digital space!
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We live in a physical world!
I make physical decisions!
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I am not numbers!
35
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- [crowd cheers]
- [whistle blows]
36
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Jack in!
37
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[reporters shouting questions]
38
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[♪ upbeat classical music playing]
39
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Alright, next question.
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- [thunder crashing]
- [rain pattering]
41
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:41,476
- [Chad] [yelling] Fuck!
- [toilet flushes]
42
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,315
- [players chattering]
- [♪ light music playing]
43
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,487
Are you okay?
44
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Do I not look okay?
45
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:58,617
Everyone could hear you
whisper-yelling "fuck" in the bathroom.
46
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:03,081
That wasn't me. That was
the vacuum commode just goin' whoosh.
47
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[softly] Look on the bright side.
48
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:10,088
All of our waterproofing worked,
and it is only one loss.
49
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:13,550
[whispers] [normal voice] To Arkansas.
50
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:17,762
Coach Hudson blew our entire season
because he fuckin' hates me.
51
00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:19,097
He doesn't hate you.
52
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:24,185
Dude, I know Russ has
a complex relationship with defeat,
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00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,021
but this is a first for Chad.
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00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:29,065
I'm manifesting it's good for him.
55
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[Chad's voice] Well, I'm manifesting
that our plane gets hit by lightning,
56
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:35,864
and we crash, and we die,
and we go to hell.
57
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It really is a pleasure working together.
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00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,163
[PA beeps]
59
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:44,873
[Coach Dobbs] Everybody up!
60
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:46,875
Storm delay.
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00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,335
We gotta wait it out in the airport.
Come on.
62
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,380
No, no, I-I-- Coach, I don't think
it looks that bad.
63
00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:54,633
I-I think-- I bet, I bet we can fly
through the water.
64
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,884
Fly through the water, Chad?
65
00:02:56,885 --> 00:03:00,429
What I'm-- What I'm saying is
it's just liquid.
66
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:05,476
If we fly fast enough,
we just puncture the raindrops.
67
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,977
They can't stop us.
68
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:09,522
Powers, a-are you
backtalking Mother Nature?
69
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,108
No, no, no, the-the-the raindrops
is molecules--
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00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:14,235
Everyone off the fuckin' plane, let's go!
71
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,612
[players chattering]
72
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,740
I am so sorry, Jay.
73
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:22,326
- I'm gon' fire my pilot.
- Oh, no, no, no, it's fine.
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00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,661
He shouldn't take off in bad weather.
75
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,538
No, he's a coward.
76
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:28,833
I want the man flying my airplane to have
the constitution of a jihadist.
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00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:32,253
I am not numbers! Jack in!
78
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,004
[Tricia] Well, there y'all are.
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00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,881
Everybody all jacked in?
80
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,384
Jesus Christ. I didn't even know
you were gonna be at this game.
81
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,219
[Tricia] Uh-huh,
and guess who I had with me?
82
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,971
- [shot glass clacks]
- Jay Palmer.
83
00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,222
Who's that?
84
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,849
Jay Palmer?
85
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,976
The Catfish alum got so rich
off of windmills
86
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,270
he can afford a spot on the Ark?
87
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,397
- What Ark?
- [Tricia] That don't concern y'all.
88
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,691
What does is that
I actually had him interested
89
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:56,026
in pumpin' our NIL fund.
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00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:58,154
That's right.
See, I brought us a whale,
91
00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,906
and you guys went out there today
and you freed your Willys.
92
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,117
How the fuck did we lose to Arkansas?
93
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:04,577
And why are we kickin'
at the end of the game
94
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:07,371
with some diaper-pissin' freshman
instead of just givin' the ball over
95
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,540
to the Heisman frontrunner, Chad Powers?
96
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,501
Well, you saw how
the Heisman frontrunner played today.
97
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,420
Ugly, like his fuckin' face.
98
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,963
[Tricia]
And whose fault is that, Scott?
99
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,756
Where was Gerry? Where--
Wa-Was this about their little fight?
100
00:04:18,757 --> 00:04:21,802
Gerry is out with
an undisclosed illness, Tricia.
101
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,597
Yeah, he's got SPS, Sore Pussy Syndrome.
102
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,016
Y'all, the wheels are fallin' off.
103
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,102
What, what is happenin' to us?
104
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:33,397
Jake? I mean, don't you have anything
remotely inspirational to say?
105
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:34,482
Can you get the fuck up?
106
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,400
Can you go talk to the team?
107
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,277
[Coach Hudson] [on TV]
We live in a physical world!
108
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,030
I make physical decisions!
109
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:42,783
I am not numbers!
110
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,452
This, FYI, is why none of y'all
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00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,953
are gon' have seats on the Ark.
112
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:51,583
You're gon' be left behind
to be annihilated by the Event.
113
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:54,544
What Event, man?
114
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,296
- [can thuds]
- [Chad] And that.
115
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,548
- [scanner beeps]
- Let me see. I got one...
116
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:02,176
"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
117
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,428
for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven."
118
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,472
Oh, thank you, Miss Tricia.
119
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,641
I'll pay for all that. Mm-hmm.
120
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,851
You know who said that?
121
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,228
Uh, Jesus?
122
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,813
And me in a church play
123
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,606
when I was a little girl
and I burst out cryin'
124
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,358
because I thought that meant
we were gonna have to let
125
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,152
[whispers] poor people
[normal] into Heaven.
126
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,320
Must have been hard on you.
127
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:25,157
It's time you and I had
a serious dialogue, Chad.
128
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,325
Oh.
129
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:30,037
[♪ "When the Moon Goes Down
in the Valley of Time" playing]
130
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:33,667
♪ Yes, the sun, refused to shine ♪
131
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,879
- [thunder rumbling]
- Oh.
132
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:42,467
♪ Every star will disappear ♪
133
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:47,429
♪ When the moon goes down
in the valley of time... ♪
134
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,640
Okay.
135
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,392
[♪ song ends abruptly]
136
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,019
- Ugh!
- [Chad] Wow.
137
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:55,229
- Well.
- Yeah, whoa.
138
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,106
I bet you've never been in one of these.
139
00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,399
Oh, no, ma'am.
140
00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,650
[Tricia] Yeah, what you think?
141
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,944
This is real comfy.
142
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,612
And what you think of this?
143
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,739
Oh, wow.
144
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:06,908
Uh...
145
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:10,077
Are-Are you allowed to have
a gun on-on an airplane?
146
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:13,247
Well, I can have my gun on my airplane,
147
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,416
and, you know, I've considered it.
148
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,836
Just dischargin' a round
at the top of our ascent.
149
00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:22,298
But I'm told we'd all be sucked right out.
150
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:23,591
I mean, can you imagine bein' sucked out
151
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,303
that miniature little window
right there at 38,000 feet?
152
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,931
I see what's goin' on with you, Chad.
153
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,225
What... what the, um...
154
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,687
- Wha-What do you--
- I mean, what's really goin' on.
155
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:40,233
And I want in. I want to help.
156
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,443
Help?
157
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:45,363
Why wasn't the ball in your hands
in the last play of the game today?
158
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:49,575
Coach Hudson didn't think
I could get it done.
159
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,911
Well, do you think
that he can get it done?
160
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:55,122
'Cause, see, Jake's an old jockey.
161
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:58,710
Right? And I had hoped and prayed
he had one last ride in him.
162
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:03,673
But we got ourselves a champion horse.
163
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,258
- [indistinct].
- And as much as I love that old jockey,
164
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,926
- and I love him...
- Yeah.
165
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,929
...I would let another man ride
my champion horse,
166
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:15,352
if I knew he would let
my stallion just run free.
167
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,522
Am I the horse in this scenario?
168
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,024
You the champion horse.
169
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,234
So...
170
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,862
what happens to Coach Hudson?
171
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:30,616
Well, if you want, we'd have him
taken out back and...
172
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,950
- [gun clicks]
- ...shot.
173
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,953
Ooh. [chuckles] Well...
174
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:38,707
I just feel like that's usually...
meant for the horses.
175
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,918
Yeah, but in this case,
we're gon' do it to the jockey
176
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:44,089
'cause they're short,
little, dispensable men.
177
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,966
I don't wanna lose again, Chad.
178
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,885
- Ever.
- [rain pattering]
179
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:50,969
Do you?
180
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,681
- [♪ song resumes]
- [chuckles nervously]
181
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:56,225
♪ Oh, my mighty, mighty Lord ♪
182
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,352
- [♪ song ends]
- Hypothetically,
183
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,688
if Hudson's gone, who takes over?
184
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:03,108
[normal voice]
Hypothetically? Byrd.
185
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,150
- [Danny] Mm-hmm.
- Although I'm sure Tricia's already
186
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,527
talkin' to Lane Kiffin.
187
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:10,406
So, Byrd will wanna prove
that he should be coach beyond this year.
188
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,200
Which means he just needs to win.
189
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,827
Which means he'd support Chad.
190
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,745
He's the one most likely
to turn a blind eye
191
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,580
to the stuff that
[softly] could get us caught.
192
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,290
[inhales]
193
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:21,751
[exhales] Fuck.
194
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,003
[Russ sighs]
195
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:28,174
[whispers]
Maybe we are better off without Hudson.
196
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,175
Hmm.
197
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,095
You know, he did almost die.
198
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:37,267
This would be a gift to him,
and to us, to everyone really.
199
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,186
Everybody except Ricky.
200
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,856
But if Hudson's still around,
201
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,693
won't he always be between her and Chad?
202
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,071
[thunder rumbling]
203
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,074
You said Tricia paid for the snacks?
204
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,368
Yeah, yeah, it was nice.
205
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:57,912
Okay, well, I want my 20 bucks back.
206
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,377
[video plays]
207
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:06,921
[sighs]
208
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,967
- [video replaying]
- [water running]
209
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,725
[loud bang]
210
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,144
[sighs]
211
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,650
[phone chimes]
212
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,074
[indistinct chatter]
213
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,575
Hey.
214
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,993
Oh.
215
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,746
I don't think anybody saw me slip out,
but we should be quick.
216
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,165
We're surrounded.
217
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,167
- Like Saddam at the end.
- [sighs]
218
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,127
[Ricky]
What do you wanna talk about?
219
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:49,880
Your dad.
220
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:50,882
What about him?
221
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:55,177
I mean, that was pretty crazy earlier,
that press conference?
222
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:57,429
Yeah, I mean, he's,
he's pissed that we lost.
223
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,015
He's pissed, like everyone else.
224
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:00,933
Sucks.
225
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,937
Are you, are you not at all worried
about his heart?
226
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:07,272
Of course, I'm worried about his heart.
I'm always worried about his heart.
227
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:11,027
But... the doctors cleared him,
so... he can deal.
228
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:16,157
If that's all you had,
I-I-I-I gotta get back to everybody.
229
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:18,785
[as Russ] This sucks.
230
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,746
With us, just like...
231
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,706
Before, just Russ
was dangerous to talk to,
232
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,710
and now, Chad is dangerous to talk to too.
It's... [sighs]
233
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,714
Yes, you are comprehensively radioactive.
234
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,635
But I'm still in.
235
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:38,138
I can still help.
236
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,015
Just have to be even more careful
after what Gerry said.
237
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,517
I don't think my dad believes it,
238
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:46,521
but he knows how damaging
the rumor could be.
239
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,523
He's lookin' out for me.
240
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,360
And you're lookin' out for him.
241
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,737
What do you mean?
242
00:10:55,738 --> 00:11:00,827
I mean... you went with his decision
to kick on the last play.
243
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,121
You don't think that was
my own judgment call?
244
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,665
I could've won that game.
245
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,709
Okay, it's not my fault
that Coach is spinning out.
246
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:11,670
Don't vilify him.
Not after everything you've done to him.
247
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,507
What about everything I have done
for him, for his team?
248
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:17,968
He's risking all of it
because he is not well.
249
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,261
Dude, what?
250
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:22,097
Are you getting your talking points
from Skip Bayless now?
251
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:25,642
Just because he is medically cleared
does not mean he is psychologically ready.
252
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,728
Oh, please. Okay, please.
253
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,272
Yes, Chad Powers.
254
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:32,317
Talk to me more about
psychological readiness.
255
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:34,693
You're just pissed you're not
his special boy anymore.
256
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,445
- Oh, my God.
- You know why you didn't get the ball?
257
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:37,988
You didn't get the ball not,
not because he thinks
258
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:39,616
we're sleeping together, which we are not.
259
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,868
You didn't get the ball
because my dad is smart.
260
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,119
And even if he doesn't know all of it,
261
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,788
I-I think deep down
he senses what you are.
262
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,416
- A loser.
- A jerk.
263
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,336
Maybe not someone you can count on.
264
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,463
You always know what to say.
265
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,299
Enjoy searching your fake name on Twitter.
266
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:59,636
[as Chad]
It's not Twitter anymore. It-It's X!
267
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,846
At some point, we're all gonna
have to embrace the rebrand!
268
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,264
[Ricky] I don't give a fuck.
269
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:07,268
[♪ dramatic music playing]
270
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,066
Oh, uh, I'm-I'm-I'm Chad Powers.
271
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,275
I need to talk to Tricia Yeager.
272
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:18,654
[Tricia] Chad,
is Chrisha givin' you trouble?
273
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:22,366
Oh, hi, Miss Tricia.
Your security guard's name's Chrisha?
274
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:25,869
Mm-hmm. I paid him to change it
so it would rhyme with my own.
275
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:29,248
Now, speakin' of my limitless power,
276
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:33,961
have you thought any more
about our, eh, conversation from earlier?
277
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:35,046
Yes, ma'am.
278
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,798
I've decided...
279
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:42,302
- Does Chrisha have to hear this?
- Chrisha, get the fuck outta here.
280
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,346
Yes, Miss Tricia.
281
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,101
I wanna kill the jockey.
282
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,811
[thunder rumbling]
283
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,729
- You do?
- Well, I just think what is
284
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:56,150
best for the team,
if we wanna win, is probably...
285
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:01,698
I think... replacing Coach Hudson.
286
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:04,534
Chad Powers.
287
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:06,494
Look at you.
288
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,454
You know, until this very moment,
289
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,791
I suspected you had no penis.
290
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:13,835
Or testicles.
291
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:17,254
Just a bare patch
of greasy skin down there,
292
00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:21,634
but now... I believe
you do have some testicles.
293
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,138
- Still no penis, though?
- TBD.
294
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,765
Yeah, TBD.
295
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,727
Well, once I can get out
of this Clinton-infested shithole,
296
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,937
I'm gon' get home,
and I'm gon' set in motion
297
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:38,526
a series of events that lead us
straight to a national title.
298
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:44,449
And then maybe, just maybe,
you'll grow a little peepee.
299
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,202
Fingers crossed.
300
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:51,205
- [vending machine beeping]
- The fuck?
301
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,624
Damnit.
302
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:55,710
Uh, may I?
303
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:57,919
Be my guest.
304
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,088
[PA announcement]
305
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,299
There you go.
306
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:04,927
Take whatever you want.
307
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,513
Are you a magician?
308
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,558
No, it's actually even less cool
than that, if you can believe it.
309
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,852
I was at the game
because I just bought a bunch
310
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,271
of vending machines in Arkansas.
311
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,814
How many?
312
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:21,027
Um... all of 'em.
313
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,862
- All of them?
- Yeah, yeah, someone told me
314
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,364
vending machines are
the new Beanie Babies,
315
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,450
uh, which doesn't make any sense
because vending machines
316
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:29,785
predate Beanie Babies.
317
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,954
But regardless, here I am.
[chuckles]
318
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,372
So, you saw me over here
319
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,166
with a vending machine
that wasn't working and...
320
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,168
And I thought, wow, dream scenario.
321
00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:40,295
This is why I got into automated retail.
322
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,089
[chuckles] Nice.
323
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,381
My dad had a vending machine key
324
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:46,385
at the school he coached at
when I was a kid, um.
325
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,721
I'd stay late sometimes
and he'd, uh, open it up
326
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:53,850
and get us, like...
honey buns or somethin'.
327
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,685
The coolest dad move ever.
328
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:56,937
Yeah, no doubt.
329
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,689
Your dad's Coach Hudson, right?
330
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,441
Yeah.
331
00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:02,985
I'm Jay.
332
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:05,738
[♪ "You're Really Somethin'"
by Pat Gatti playing]
333
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,241
- I'm Ricky, hi.
- Hi, Ricky.
334
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:14,287
- [indistinct chatter]
- ♪ I know I'm not up to date ♪
335
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:17,916
- ♪ With all that's going on ♪
- [clears throat]
336
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,710
- ♪ And I don't measure up ♪
- [clears throat]
337
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:24,005
- ♪ To what I ought to be ♪
- [clears throat]
338
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,299
Hey, guys.
339
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,553
♪ But when I'm with you ♪
340
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:33,974
♪ I feel 10 feet tall inside ♪
341
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,977
♪ Honey, you're somethin' ♪
342
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:41,065
♪ You're really somethin' I need ♪
343
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:45,777
♪ Well, it takes someone like you ♪
344
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,697
- [notification chimes]
- ♪ To make this man ♪
345
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:51,909
♪ Realize that alone ♪
346
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,997
♪ I could never be free ♪
347
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,960
♪ You pick me up and keep me there ♪
348
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,212
- [exhales sharply]
- ♪ Just long ♪
349
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,840
- [Coach Hudson yelling indistinctly on TV]
- ♪ Enough to see ♪
350
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,884
♪ Honey, you're somethin' ♪
351
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:12,722
♪ You're really somethin' I need ♪
352
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:18,977
- [heavy breathing]
- ♪ If it takes me forever ♪
353
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:22,522
♪ Would it really matter ♪
354
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:27,402
♪ If I never got
to where I'm supposed to go? ♪
355
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,614
[heavy breathing]
356
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:37,371
♪ Wouldn't it be empty
if I got there all alone? ♪
357
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,457
♪ How could that be? ♪
358
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:42,083
♪ You not with me ♪
359
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:46,379
♪ How tall then would I be? ♪
360
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:49,841
Come on... Okay.
361
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,761
- ♪ I need... ♪
- [exhales]
362
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:56,098
[Chad] Coach. Hey, Coach.
363
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:57,933
Hey.
364
00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,559
What are you doin'?
365
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,354
- Plane's about to leave.
- Yeah.
366
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:05,857
[exhales] That was...
That was the old line, you know?
367
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:09,069
On the... on the message board,
when you lost.
368
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,531
[clears throat]
"Don't let the coach on the plane."
369
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,951
[indistinct chatter]
370
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,164
Alright.
371
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,465
[Chad]
Coach. Are you... Are y--
372
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,093
- Coach, are you okay?
- [Coach Hudson sniffles]
373
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:33,552
[groans]
374
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,763
Goddamnit, I'm good.
375
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:38,766
[clears throat]
376
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:43,354
They're, they're right.
Everybody's right.
377
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,481
[stammers]
Right about what?
378
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,234
I didn't just come back too soon.
379
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,280
They told me not to come back at all.
380
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,534
You weren't actually cleared?
381
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:58,578
God, I hate lying.
382
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,038
It's so hard.
383
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,084
It's just, I want this.
384
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:06,877
I need this so bad.
385
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,629
[breathing heavily]
386
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,258
I need to win, just once.
387
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,428
I know I can do it.
388
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:17,680
I know it.
389
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,312
Otherwise, my whole life...
390
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:28,941
- [♪ somber music playing]
- Sorry.
391
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,028
You're gonna tell Ricky
about this, aren't you?
392
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,031
♪
393
00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:39,702
No. No, no, I'm, uh...
394
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:41,621
That's between you and her.
395
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:43,247
[Coach Hudson] Okay.
396
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,874
- Thank you.
- [announcer] Attention, all passengers
397
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,042
flying to Dawson.
398
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,585
Flight number 452.
399
00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:50,962
Your flight will begin boarding shortly.
400
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,965
- Thank you.
- I think they want you on that plane.
401
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:56,551
[♪ gentle music playing]
402
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:57,762
Yeah.
403
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:06,144
- [♪ music fades out]
- [PA announcement]
404
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,230
[indistinct chatter]
405
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:13,902
[notification swooshes]
406
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:16,029
[whistles] Alright!
407
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:18,157
[PA announcement]
408
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,034
Listen up!
409
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,662
[clears throat]
410
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:24,914
What do you do when you lose?
411
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,167
Watch tape.
412
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:30,294
You watch tape.
413
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:36,591
See what you did wrong...
so you can be better next week.
414
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:39,220
Right?
Gotta watch tape.
415
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,015
No, fuck that.
416
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:46,185
We leave today behind.
417
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:49,230
Right here, in this airport.
418
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,649
And we never talk about it again.
419
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,568
We burn the tape!
420
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:56,987
- [all applauding]
- [player] Y'all heard Coach.
421
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,114
Man, fuck that shit, man!
422
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,157
Y'all understand? Burn it!
423
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,160
Burn that motherfuckin' tape, man!
424
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,704
Alright, all the private jets
are about to take off.
425
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:06,788
We're wheels up after that.
426
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:07,998
[Coach Hudson] Alright!
427
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:12,670
Let's get home,
let's get some rest, let's jack in!
428
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,629
Let's get back to work.
429
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,631
Fish on me, fish on three.
430
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,758
- One, two, three!
- [all] Fish!
431
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:19,969
Good speech.
432
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:23,096
Thanks.
I had some, uh, inspiration--
433
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:26,726
I left my wallet in the pet relief area.
434
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,644
So, I'm gonna--
I gotta go run and grab that.
435
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,312
Why-Why were you in the pet relief area?
436
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,023
I was, I was, I was washin' my feet.
437
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:37,944
And so, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be--
BRB, I'm gonna be B-right-B!
438
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,779
[♪ dramatic music playing]
439
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:43,408
Almost. Almost had a full
extended interaction
440
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,411
without some bizarre shit.
441
00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:48,205
♪
442
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:06,223
♪
443
00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:10,227
Tricia!
444
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,606
Chrisha, I need to talk to Tricia.
445
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,525
She's already gone.
They're taxiing right now.
446
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,902
Why are you still here?
447
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:20,570
I'm here to watch the door
'til she's in the air.
448
00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:22,072
Then I take my own commercial flight.
449
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:23,699
First class?
450
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:25,868
- Economy Plus.
- Mm.
451
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,286
Do you have to book your own flight?
452
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,788
Yeah, then I submit receipts--
453
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,373
♪
454
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,835
Oh, oh! Shoot!
455
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:38,838
[Chad yelling]
456
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:41,424
- I'm sorry, sorry!
- Hey! What the fuck?!
457
00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:43,301
[Chad] Hey!
458
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:44,845
Tricia!
459
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:46,638
Stop!
460
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,723
- [lighter clicking]
- [muffled] Hey!
461
00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:50,475
- [Jay Palmer] Uh, Tricia?
- Hmm?
462
00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:52,894
Please don't tell me you have asthma, Jay.
463
00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:55,355
N-No, Chad Powers is outside.
464
00:21:55,356 --> 00:21:57,066
[muffled] Stop, stop!
465
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,275
What?
466
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:00,527
Don't kill him!
467
00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:02,737
Don't kill the jockey!
468
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:04,156
What is he...
469
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:07,742
Sto-- Prisha, stop the plane.
470
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,703
- [engines power down]
- [Chad sighs]
471
00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:18,002
Good God almighty, Chad!
472
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:21,005
You could've been sucked
into that jet engine like a seagull!
473
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,383
Don't kill the jockey!
474
00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:26,136
- What?! Don't kill the jockey?!
- Don't kill him!
475
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,513
Why the change of heart?
476
00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:29,639
Because I...
477
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,808
He's the one who got me out of the stable,
478
00:22:31,809 --> 00:22:34,018
and I like the way he rides me.
479
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:35,353
Even when it hurts.
480
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:38,815
[laughs] See?!
This is my best metaphor yet.
481
00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:42,527
So, to be clear,
you are not firing Coach Hudson?
482
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:45,573
No. Not unless Lane Kiffin calls me back.
483
00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:47,407
He's a good person.
484
00:22:47,408 --> 00:22:48,533
Lane Kiffin?
485
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:49,993
No, Coach Hudson.
486
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:52,412
Oh, you really think, Chad,
487
00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:55,374
that you can be a good person
and be a winner?
488
00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:58,543
[footsteps approaching]
489
00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:02,505
- [panting]
- Chrisha, where the fuck have you been?
490
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:03,923
This man could've had a bazooka
491
00:23:03,924 --> 00:23:06,260
and just blown my airplane outta the sky.
492
00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:08,177
He's really fast.
493
00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:10,639
I know. That's my quarterback.
494
00:23:11,932 --> 00:23:12,933
Go fish.
495
00:23:13,267 --> 00:23:14,894
[Tricia] Go fish!
496
00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:19,982
[groans]
497
00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:22,817
Is it weird to want an explanation?
498
00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:25,653
That, Jay, was just another thread
499
00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:28,407
in the tapestry of my life
as a Catfish booster.
500
00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:31,701
Which, I suspect, after today,
501
00:23:31,702 --> 00:23:34,580
you have no interest in becomin'.
502
00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:37,458
Actually, I had a really good time.
503
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,044
- You did?
- Yeah.
504
00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:45,132
I'm curious, what's the deal
with Coach's daughter?
505
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:48,135
Oh.
506
00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:55,142
Far as I know, that tall drink
of sweet tea is wide open for business.
507
00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:03,858
Coach... [panting]
why aren't you on the plane?
508
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:06,569
My dad said to make sure
you made it, which is weird
509
00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:08,364
since, all week,
he's been keepin' me away from you.
510
00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:11,158
What'd you two talk about?
511
00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:14,203
Yeah.
512
00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:17,706
Trust.
513
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:20,417
That he can trust me.
514
00:24:25,756 --> 00:24:28,175
I'm sorry about what I said earlier.
515
00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:30,386
Yeah, I'm sorry too.
516
00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:33,973
Guess we're both poor sports.
517
00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:36,767
[chuckles] Yeah, we are.
518
00:24:38,102 --> 00:24:39,978
[attendant]
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard.
519
00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:42,230
Please take your seats,
and place your carry-on items
520
00:24:42,231 --> 00:24:43,606
securely in the overhead bins
521
00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:45,024
or completely underneath the seat
522
00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:46,360
- in front of you.
- [whispering] So, we're keeping Hudson?
523
00:24:47,736 --> 00:24:49,738
What's the worst that can happen?
524
00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:53,242
He finds out you're Russ Holliday
and actually murders you?
525
00:24:55,869 --> 00:24:56,953
Chad?
526
00:24:56,954 --> 00:24:59,957
[♪ soft music playing]
527
00:25:02,209 --> 00:25:04,211
[indistinct chatter]
528
00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:11,260
- Hey.
- Hey.
529
00:25:13,929 --> 00:25:16,014
Oh, I'm sorry, do you need me to move?
530
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,017
- I can--
- No, I just wanted to sit back here.
531
00:25:19,101 --> 00:25:21,020
Where you can smell the toilets?
532
00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:24,148
You know, I don't think we've ever talked.
533
00:25:24,690 --> 00:25:25,691
I'm Chad.
534
00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:30,445
You're Max, the kicker, right?
535
00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:32,864
Chad, I'm really sorry
for missin' that kick, dude.
536
00:25:32,865 --> 00:25:35,492
- I, I just--
- Hey, what's on your phone?
537
00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:39,663
- Oh.
- Tweets tellin' you to kill yourself.
538
00:25:41,415 --> 00:25:42,833
Will you do me a favor?
539
00:25:44,460 --> 00:25:46,295
- What?
- Will you log out...
540
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:49,590
delete that app forever...
541
00:25:50,466 --> 00:25:52,801
and never search your name online again?
542
00:25:54,595 --> 00:25:57,096
I know it seems impossible right now,
543
00:25:57,097 --> 00:26:00,934
but... you're not always
gonna feel this bad.
544
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:03,437
How do you know?
545
00:26:08,150 --> 00:26:10,235
[♪ "Someday" by Johnny Payne playing]
546
00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:12,488
I just do.
547
00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:21,204
♪ Someday ♪
548
00:26:21,205 --> 00:26:27,211
♪ Someday dreaming in the afternoon ♪
549
00:26:28,796 --> 00:26:34,426
♪ Always hanging on for someday soon ♪
550
00:26:37,137 --> 00:26:41,350
♪ Don't believe in someday ♪
551
00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:05,624
[♪ song ends]
552
00:27:15,717 --> 00:27:18,637
[♪ fanfare]
40841
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